When you have mild incontinence and wear diapers but can use the toilet question/support

[munkey]

I don’t post much, but thank you to those that do.  I’ve been mentally stuck and am looking for some community insight.

Earlier this year I started wearing diapers 24/7 to manage my IBS and stop accidents in my pants.  I’ve always had minor issues with IBS all my life but never wore diapers to manage it, however, life changes as you age.  I did wear diapers for pleasure, but at 42 the reason for my diaper usage has changed.  It’s been about 7 months since I’ve started wearing it has been more mentally reassuring knowing that should I need my diaper, I’m covered. ? While I make jokes, it’s to cover the fact that a part of me wishes that it was just for pleasure, anyway, it is what it is.  

The reason for the post is the last couple of months, when I need to pee, I’ve been using my diaper as it’s often easier, more convenient, my diaper doesn’t stretch out for sliding it down, I don’t have to run off and find a toilet when I’m out, and I could.  Plus I wear the megamax as it’s fit is awesome and is super comfy and contains any kind of mess extremely well.  However, for some strange reason I fell like I’m doing something wrong, like I feel some shame when I’ve used my diaper voluntarily as opposed to when it’s not voluntarily.  When it’s comes to wetting, I’m not actively training to be diaper dependent, my IBS has done that for me already. Like the other day, in the grocery store, I had to go and some leaked out. I just went about my shopping as I was almost done and left and went home.  While I was feeling a little embarrassed, it wasn’t much and would have been worse if I wasn’t protected and that’s why I wear diapers. So, mentally, it wasn’t that big of a deal.

I guess my question is; does anyone else who wears for medical need that also has control use their diapers voluntarily? Or do you try to make it to the toilet?

Bonus question, am I just overthinking this?

Thank you for your input!☺️

[DailyDi]

I wear pull-ups during the day for light bowel leakage and moderate dripping. As such I use the toilet to pee when I can, and to poop exclusively. At night when I am wearing a full-on diaper I pee in the diaper and only take it off to go #2 if needed.

[Little Cub Pants]

3 minutes ago, DailyDi said:

I wear pull-ups during the day for light bowel leakage and moderate dripping. As such I use the toilet to pee when I can, and to poop exclusively. At night when I am wearing a full-on diaper I pee in the diaper and only take it off to go #2 if needed.

Don't like to make an poo in diapies yet, huh Mikey?!??????????????❤️?????

[~Brian~]

36 minutes ago, munkey said:

I don’t post much, but thank you to those that do.  I’ve been mentally stuck and am looking for some community insight.

Earlier this year I started wearing diapers 24/7 to manage my IBS and stop accidents in my pants.  I’ve always had minor issues with IBS all my life but never wore diapers to manage it, however, life changes as you age.  I did wear diapers for pleasure, but at 42 the reason for my diaper usage has changed.  It’s been about 7 months since I’ve started wearing it has been more mentally reassuring knowing that should I need my diaper, I’m covered. ? While I make jokes, it’s to cover the fact that a part of me wishes that it was just for pleasure, anyway, it is what it is.  

The reason for the post is the last couple of months, when I need to pee, I’ve been using my diaper as it’s often easier, more convenient, my diaper doesn’t stretch out for sliding it down, I don’t have to run off and find a toilet when I’m out, and I could.  Plus I wear the megamax as it’s fit is awesome and is super comfy and contains any kind of mess extremely well.  However, for some strange reason I fell like I’m doing something wrong, like I feel some shame when I’ve used my diaper voluntarily as opposed to when it’s not voluntarily.  When it’s comes to wetting, I’m not actively training to be diaper dependent, my IBS has done that for me already. Like the other day, in the grocery store, I had to go and some leaked out. I just went about my shopping as I was almost done and left and went home.  While I was feeling a little embarrassed, it wasn’t much and would have been worse if I wasn’t protected and that’s why I wear diapers. So, mentally, it wasn’t that big of a deal.

I guess my question is; does anyone else who wears for medical need that also has control use their diapers voluntarily? Or do you try to make it to the toilet?

Bonus question, am I just overthinking this?

Thank you for your input!☺️

@munkey

simple answer to a simple question: Y E S!  You may be wearing diapers because you want to, or because they feel good, or for whatever reason. It sounds to me like you do have incontinence, and with IBS there is nothing more ridiculous than having to go anywhere anytime, but it happens.

You Should never feel guilty about using Or wearing your diapers or liking your diapers. You need your diapers, and that is a fact. If you did not have your diaper on, you would make a mess all over the place. I wear a mega max is two, and I know I am in continent and a diaper lover myself. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, and heck, if you like your diapers because they feel good, that is all the more reason to keep using them. You have a medical reason for wearing and using your diapers. You should never feel that you are going to get in trouble, or have somebody “out you“, because you do need your diapers. What I have learned is to accept my incontinence and also to understand that there will be times when you will be dry, And times when you will be wet, and times that you will totally have a blow out and be messy. In each of these cases, there is a reason to have a diaper on, there’s a reason that you have a diaper, and there are plenty of us here on DD who wear diapers use diapers or like diapers. There are also people here who wear diapers because of incontinence, or because they lack control of their bladder or bowel‘s. IBS is nothing to mess with, and I have had to deal with that myself. I decided in 2019 that I was not going to end up a “victim“ of my condition, and that I was going to manage it with diapers. I went to the doctor in 2019, told him exactly what was going on, told him that I wanted diapers, and that I knew that he would prescribe them for me to use. The next thing that I needed was to have them write in my medical records that I am in contact both directions, and he did that.

I wear my mega max is for medical reasons and also because I am a diaper lover. I still have control of my bowels for the most part, but there are times that I lose control of them, as well as for my bladder.  I wear my diaper and I use it. Sometimes however, I overdo it, and leak all over the place. That is why I took the liberty of getting additional supplies so that I would not have this issue. One of the things you have to realize is that you have to take control of the situation.  If you were in a position where you can go to the bathroom first, and then use a diaper afterwards, which means you go to the bathroom and empty your bladder and your bowels, and then put a diaper on and use it as needed, I would go to the bathroom first whenever you can, and then prepare for the day. There are many times when I do this, and put a diaper on, and then I use it to its fullest extent. I do not have time to mess around running to the bathroom every five minutes because of my IBS or my fecal urgency, And my bladder will release whenever it needs to.

my suggestion,:  ask other people who are in continent: I don’t think that they would think that it would be wrong to use your diapers.  When someone has zero control, they use their diapers whenever they have something that is coming out. They have no control of what it is, when it happens, where it happens, or why it happens. They just use their diapers because that is what they have to do. If there are people who can still voluntarily hold, maybe they use the bathroom when they can. If I have a really bad thing happen where I know I’m going to do a BM, and I know that I can get to the bathroom and get rid of it in the toilet, that’s what I do. You have to also realize that when. You clean up a mess, you try to minimize the mess, and then decide how to clean it up. If you were to “let go in your diaper“ all the way, your mega max will hold it, but you still have to be careful because you could still over on your diaper. I wear Garywear incontinence pants over my diaper when I am out, or when I need to go somewhere. If I have to use the diaper, at least the contents are within it. If the diapers capacity is exceeded then we end up having the Garywear on to protect myself.

 I am going to be born in a matter of fact: you have your diapers, and I would use them. There may be people who believe that it is bad to do so, but a diaper is there for that purpose, and if you need to use it use it to its fullest. If you like diapers, because they make you feel good, or because they give you security, or because they give you emotional security, Then I would not worry about it. I mean, who is going to “get after you“ if you have your diaper on, and you mess it or wet it? No one is going to find out about it unless they are within your range, and even if they did, that is your decision and your decision alone, and your business to deal with. There are many people who go into establishments, And they use their diapers, and they wet or mess or both. I’ve had friends that actually have done this, and they do their business, and they take care of what they need to take care of, and then they change themselves. If someone were to question something, then they do, but it should not be a big deal. Because I am disabled, I use my diapers both ways, and sometimes it is when my tummy decides that it’s time to “rumble“ and get rid of all of the stuff that is inside of you. If that happens while you’re out, you have no control over it, and you may have to use it. If someone finds out about it, then they do, but you should not have to worry or be shamed because you use your diapers. If you have a medical condition, or you have other reasons for wearing diapers, it is not wrong, and you should not feel bad. In my case, I use diapers for my incontinence and I like the feeling of them, and I am a diaper lover. I am not going to deny this: you should never feel guilty about having diapers using them or liking them, or doing what you were doing. It is nobody’s business other than yours and whoever you tell.  I have found that my friends were very accepting When I told them that I needed diapers because I was in continent. I also told them that I was “sick of having accidents, wetting my pants, messing myself, and just not having a good day when that happens” they all embraced me and told me it would be OK, no one else is going to come and tell that you that you can’t wear diapers are you can’t use diapers. That’s your decision and yours alone. I know that it is hard sometimes, and I have struggled with this feeling since I was eight years old. Others have struggled with it for longer than that, and they feel like they don’t know what is going on. I am glad this site existss, because we have people that are like-minded, and are here because of one thing: diapers!

I say: don’t feel bad or guilty! It’s not a bad thing to wear diapers: all they are our special underwear that you can “Pee and poop in“ And that’s it. There are others that enjoy their diapers for other reasons as well, and they may add other pieces of the lifestyle. However, you should never feel guilty that you were using diapers. I mean, what would happen if you had to go to the bathroom and you were sitting there doing the “potty dance“ and you keep doing it and doing it and doing it? Eventually your bladder or bowel‘s are going to say “we’re done with this we’re going to release“ and then wherever you are you are going to release – if you were in a position where you cannot deal with the mess, then you end up having to clean it up, as well as you or the area that you are occupying. A diaper is like a container for what you release. It is designed to allow you to release whatever you are holding so that you are not holding your bowels in your bladder. That is what the diapers for: to get rid of waste, So just relax, don’t worry about it, and everything will be fine? Believe me, I’ve been there, I understand it, I have dealt with it myself, and I’ve had sleepless nights in 2019 and 2020 as I decided what I was going to do. So I decided that diapers were going to be used to deal with my incontinence: 24 hours a day seven days a week 365 days a year – and that’s all folks!

Good Luck

Brian

[DailyDi]

5 minutes ago, BabySpiderBoy said:

Don't like to make an poo in diapies yet, huh Mikey?!??????????????❤️?????

Nope! Not a fan of the smell and cleanup.

[Little Cub Pants]

6 minutes ago, DailyDi said:

Nope! Not a fan of the smell and cleanup.

Don't worry, you'll get there one day buddy!???☺️??❤️??? LOL!??

[~Brian~]

21 minutes ago, BabySpiderBoy said:

Don't like to make an poo in diapies yet, huh Mikey?!??????????????❤️?????

@BabySpiderBoy

@DailyDi May not want to do a number two in his diaper. Some of us still have Bowel control, and I am sure that Mikey may have decided that he does not want to clean up any mess like that if he can get away with it. This does not mean that people do not have number two accidents, but when you use your diaper for that purpose, and you have to use it, you may have to clean everywhere - I have had to use my diaper for that purpose, and I can tell you that the cleanup can be as simple as a 32nd wipe down, or as long as a 45 minute scrub down, and then you remove the dirty article.

I’ve had experiences myself where my body just decides “let’s just release all over the place” if that happens, and I cannot get to the bathroom fast enough, then I just let the diaper take the load. I’ve done this before when I’m out, or when I am at work, but I can tell you that Regardless of where you are, you may not want to do a number two in your diaper if you can help it.

i’d even have days when I put a diaper on, and I’m using it throughout the day, and then when I take it off I noticed I have “the skids“ in the diaper itself. This indicates to me that I might have released a BM or something to that effect, and it lands in my diaper, and sometimes you can’t help that, and sometimes I don’t even feel it, and then I see it when I take my diaper off.  Using my diapers for number two is an option should it be necessary, and I have done it in the past, but you also have to realize that if you use it you are going to be cleaning up a mess: the only thing that we don’t know when we do it is what type of mess that we would have to clean up. Mike he may not want to and does not want to clean up that type of mess, so I am sure that he decides that he is going to use the toilet before he goes to bed, so he doesn’t have to make any changes to his bed unless of course he uses the diaper, and it leaks.

I agree with Mikey: I use my diaper as necessary, but I’m not a fan of doing a BM if I really have to go really bad, and I can get to the toilet first, in my diaper. One day I had a BM that would have been so bad it clogged my toilet, so doing that in my diaper would’ve been ridiculous.  
 

Brian

[rusty pins]

Very well said Brian!  Just because some here like a particular thing doesn't mean others will too!  I'm a good example in the fact that I may mess my diaper once or twice a month but I have absolutely no interest in AB, domination, humiliation, embarrassment or a Mommy-Baby relationship.

[Little Cub Pants]

1 hour ago, ~Brian~ said:

@BabySpiderBoy

@DailyDi May not want to do a number two in his diaper. Some of us still have Bowel control, and I am sure that Mikey may have decided that he does not want to clean up any mess like that if he can get away with it. This does not mean that people do not have number two accidents, but when you use your diaper for that purpose, and you have to use it, you may have to clean everywhere - I have had to use my diaper for that purpose, and I can tell you that the cleanup can be as simple as a 32nd wipe down, or as long as a 45 minute scrub down, and then you remove the dirty article.

I’ve had experiences myself where my body just decides “let’s just release all over the place” if that happens, and I cannot get to the bathroom fast enough, then I just let the diaper take the load. I’ve done this before when I’m out, or when I am at work, but I can tell you that Regardless of where you are, you may not want to do a number two in your diaper if you can help it.

i’d even have days when I put a diaper on, and I’m using it throughout the day, and then when I take it off I noticed I have “the skids“ in the diaper itself. This indicates to me that I might have released a BM or something to that effect, and it lands in my diaper, and sometimes you can’t help that, and sometimes I don’t even feel it, and then I see it when I take my diaper off.  Using my diapers for number two is an option should it be necessary, and I have done it in the past, but you also have to realize that if you use it you are going to be cleaning up a mess: the only thing that we don’t know when we do it is what type of mess that we would have to clean up. Mike he may not want to and does not want to clean up that type of mess, so I am sure that he decides that he is going to use the toilet before he goes to bed, so he doesn’t have to make any changes to his bed unless of course he uses the diaper, and it leaks.

I agree with Mikey: I use my diaper as necessary, but I’m not a fan of doing a BM if I really have to go really bad, and I can get to the toilet first, in my diaper. One day I had a BM that would have been so bad it clogged my toilet, so doing that in my diaper would’ve been ridiculous.  
 

Brian

Well said Brian!??☺️??❤️????❤️??

[munkey]

First off thanks for taking the time to respond, I appreciate it. So many thoughts that I don’t know where to start.  
 

It’s guess a bit more back story, I’ve been aware of my fetish for 20+ years. This site and some other resources can equip people to manage incontinence.  I guess all my life my fetish was a partial teacher for my incontinence now.  A couple of weeks ago I had got some plastic pants and haven’t leaked on anything and my diapers are getting more mileage.  When it comes to cleaning up after dirtying your diaper a shower with hose and head is a game changer. I’ve recently got one as I tend to just use my night diaper to mess in as it’s more convenient and I live alone. I just hop into the shower and spray my self off then shower like normal.

@DailyDi thank you for sharing!

@~Brian~ reading your responses and what and the manner in which you share it has helped me over the last while.  I appreciate how much support you provider to our community.  Wearing diapers for any reason is a journey of acceptance, for some it’s short, for others it’s a mission.  Thank you for your insights and support for the community ~hugs~
 

It is a mind trip when you go from using for fun to having to wear. When I was going through the decision process to just wear, one of my long term friends, who knows about my little side, pointed out that my need to wear diapers was greater than my want and that my little side makes it hard to see that as my little side is locked up in a toy box. I fully agree with her, it has made it harder to come to terms with wearing diapers. I’ve read other peoples journeys of acceptance and all are similar, it’s like a light bulb moment. It’s like a few weeks ago when I sat in the toilet and diapered for 40 MINUTES over 90 minutes, feeling like I had to pee, and I’m like I’m going to use the toilet, got tired and sore sitting there. So I got up and left, went about my work, 20 minutes later felt the urge to pee and was like well f$&@ this, I’m not going to try to hold it only to make it to the bathroom and not go, so I just let it flow, but that’s when I started thinking all this.  
 

@~Brian~i understand everything you’ve said and I wish I was there. However, my journey has me here were I’m trying to tell I don’t have to wear them… but at the same time having 4 messing in my diaper in the last 2 weeks say otherwise, which is why I continue to wear my diaper.

[ppdude]

So then, one may ask, did the diaper fetish prepare you for incontinence as an eventual reality?

 

 

[Cruiser 03]

In the way back days my body would play games just to get a ride out of me and see what I would destroy trying to use the toilet , I destroyed walls and doors,  a chair or three only to end up with my diaper saving the day, 99 out 100 times no warning diaper did it’s job but that 1 time screwed with me . After my aide ratted me out for destroying two toilets trying to use them , my doctor had my power chair serviced and all my restraints became tamper proof locking ,an average functioning 10 year old with nerve and muscle function could remove them to me that was safer than Ft.Knox , I was locked in by toes ankles knees pelvis and torso , I am changed every four hours or when I mess ,at that time it was suck it up buttercup you have no choice what happens in your diaper stays there until your changed deal with it , I had to learn no amount of warning was sufficient to try anything but my normal diaper and no amount of bitching was getting my restraints open or giving me the chance to try anything period , I was forced to face reality and accept it .

both my diapers and restraints are to protect me and keep me as safe from harm as possible , and my body learned not to mess with me , today there’s no locks ,I can’t work a normal seatbelt let alone a lock and gone is any warning , my condition and function has changed also I can’t decide or control my body or diapers I take medication to regulate and control everything .

[gregs]

For me I deicided that it is much more convenient to release in the diaper than running to the toilette ever 10 or 15 minutes. Whene I started wearing diapers 24/7 I did not feel very well, I had trouble to accpet and I felt afraid losing the last bit of control. 

Today I can live with it.

[WetDad]

I've been wearing seni super plus diapers for years now, but as I face retirement, the cost is bothering me. I just bought a pair of superundies as an experiment. They go up and down much easier than normal diapers so the toilet becomes more convenient. I'll post a review in a few weeks once I've given these a fair shake.

[munkey]

6 hours ago, WetDad said:

I've been wearing seni super plus diapers for years now, but as I face retirement, the cost is bothering me. I just bought a pair of superundies as an experiment. They go up and down much easier than normal diapers so the toilet becomes more convenient. I'll post a review in a few weeks once I've given these a fair shake.

Sorry, I don’t see how this applies to my question.

[WetDad]

45 minutes ago, munkey said:

Sorry, I don’t see how this applies to my question.

A simple comment on another possible way to regain partial control, and how you could use the toilet or diaper in a simpler manner. After losing control 15+ years ago, I still look for ways to regain the illusion of control. While diapers make life simple, they are hard to pull down quickly when in need of an urgent pooop. Cloth or disposables, makes no difference. This might give any of us that choice.

As for your question, you're overthinking it. We all have multiple reasons for using our "protection". Don't think too much about it, or it will drive you crazy.

[ken2988]

In my case my medical needs are mostly in control of my need to use diapers most of the time.  There are those rare times where I have just changed out of a diaper and have not had the chance to put another one on yet or I have been doing something where it was inconvenient to wear a diaper where I will get the sudden urge to pee and quickly run to the bathroom.  In most of the cases I will start leaking almost immediately and end up needing to change my shorts or pants.  In other words, I really don't have the choice in regards to using the toilet unless I stay right next to it!  

[munkey]

On 12/25/2021 at 3:13 PM, ken2988 said:

In my case my medical needs are mostly in control of my need to use diapers most of the time.  There are those rare times where I have just changed out of a diaper and have not had the chance to put another one on yet or I have been doing something where it was inconvenient to wear a diaper where I will get the sudden urge to pee and quickly run to the bathroom.  In most of the cases I will start leaking almost immediately and end up needing to change my shorts or pants.  In other words, I really don't have the choice in regards to using the toilet unless I stay right next to it!  

Sounds like you don’t have mild incontinence!

[babykeiff]

@munkey

Medically, according to numerous specialists after countless tests, I am not incontinent. They are correct.... if I spend ever second of every day focusing on bowel and bladder sphincters, I can make it to a bathroom to void, yet if I change concentration for even a few seconds, I will end up in wet and/or messy pants. I have never, to the best of my recollection, had a dry night, so overnight was put into cloth diapers. It took years of accidents and tests for me to come to the conclusion that diapers are a requirement for me - and not a convenience despite what 'medical experts' state.

Only recently, using risky nerve testing technology in the spine, did they find spinal nerve fuction lacking. As a result, my bladder and bowel, unless directly focused on, revert to autonomic contol. 

So yes, I do not need to wear diapers all the time, but without them, I am barely able to function.

I have spent the hours sitting on a toilet to no avail, but when I stand again, wet and/or mess almost by gravity.

@DailyDi Bowel control is a matter of diet not will power / control. @~Brian~ identified that sometimes when he takes off his diaper, it is only then he notices that he had messed. Wearing diapers will tend to do this due to the trigger that diapers cause - it reminds the body to behave as a pre toilet trained baby, and void without informing you. A babies diet is high in liquid, as a result, due to the anal sphincters inability to hold liquid, a baby will fill its diapers almost without interruption.

As a result, those that wear diapers either at night / 24/7 will have to get used to a messy diaper and how to deal with it. For me, it is enemas in the mornings after breakfast (shower attachment) to try and keep the bowels empty, and a shower attachment to clean messes. Also, wearing plastic pants over disposable diapers daytime, and nighttime cloth diapers with liners. Still I have had to sit in a messy diaper and drive for hours home to change and clean up.

@munkey

With I.B.S., as you know, will cause you to void / explode at any time. A diaper on its own will help contain the mess, but without the mindset and the relevant preperation, every incident will be a very bad day. One can be happy or sad from a wet / messy diaper, and it is all about attitude. This forum tries to support the 'happy' side of wearing and using a diaper for its intended purpose. It is the people around you, so called friends, family, neighbours, fellow man, that interfere, critizise, complain, when they find out that another is 'happy' in diapers. It is the act of being happy that they can't handle, so be happy to spite them.