Bi married man tells wife about diaper fetishes

[Marcus]

Hi. My writing is not the best so here it goes. I have been married for 18 years. Yes my wife knows that I am bisexual and she knows I have buddy's . We just don't talk about it. She is the same as I am. But I got brave and told her about my little side and the truth about why I wear a diaper at night. I'm still wear a diaper to bed but I hide my little side from her because she told me she would leave me if I didn't stop being apart of the abdl world. Now she having a fit over the diaper wearing at night. I love my wife but she doesn't understand how sad I am. 

I just don't know what to do. 

[drynot]

Ultimatums are terrible in relationships.  I know that I certainly wouldn't put up with it in my marriage with something as minor as a diaper fetish.....but that's just me.  IMO it all comes down to communication.  That said....some people just can't get over things and then you're in a real predicament.  If you're committed to making this relationship work and she won't budge at all on the diaper thing then I suggest compromise is the best course of action.   

[diapered charles]

People fear what they do not understand. The best strategy is to educate her about it and why its important to you. That's if she lets you though.

[Cute_Kitten]

If you two are fighting/ disagreeing and not listening to what each other is saying/ not willing to listen it might be time to consider couples therapy or talking with a therapist. They can be a mediator and help both of you work out a solution/ figure out what each of you want. 

[foreverdl]

If your marriage is in trouble because of the diapers, then a therapist may help, I am not one to recommend them. We have been married 25, almost 26 yrs, my wife and I both have gone through cancer. And due to it she can't have sex. We haven't been able to in over 10 yrs. You have to decide is there a way to get her to accept it for you to play in diapers when she's at work or gone to the store etc. My wife and I have had many many talks about my needing to have sex. So I have my fun when she's in bed, ( I am insomniac ) or at the store etc. But I do have dribbles and you can start making wet spots in your pants so you have a need to wear them. It can take time but with a need my wife has come around and I just wear them. I have worn 24/7 for I think 8-10 yrs? You just have to make it a need not a want. A need after you have been using as a play will be harder. but with time make several wet sports in your pants. And see if she would rather be seen with you in wet pants? Just some input.

[feralfreak]

what is it about the abdl that she hates? is there something she loves that you hate?

[Whatsthatsmell]

She's ok with you banging other people but not ok with a diaper?  

[feralfreak]

15 minutes ago, Whatsthatsmell said:

She's ok with you banging other people but not ok with a diaper?  

i was a bit curious about that too, what is basically cheating is ok, but not a silly piece of plastic and cotton with tapes? 

[foreverdl]

4 hours ago, feralfreak said:

i was a bit curious about that too, what is basically cheating is ok, but not a silly piece of plastic and cotton with tapes? 

I agree, so is she having sex with others also?? I mean it sounds weird that she will let you have sex with another person. I would not even ask my wife if I could have sex with anyone else, and it's been over 10 yrs since I have had sex with any other including my wife, we made that commitment ,, being married till death do us part. That means if the other partner can't do something then you are not just done. You have understanding you work things out. That's one of the problems with today. Make a promise and Keep it.,

I would say if you and your spouse agree on everything before hand? then it's only between the 2 of you. Sorry My ranting

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

I was married to a man for over twenty two years. He never openly admitted to me as being bisexual. I am bisexual to the core. Many here cannot differentiate love and sex. I have had meaningless sex, just to get off, yes with females too and my husband watching. I have also made mad pasionate love to my husband, and my husband never liked diapers. As Marcus said he told her about being a little, and that was the reason he gave her for wearing diapers. No matter where you look on the internet we and I mean all of us AB & DL have a horrible label and stigma set upon our heads. We are thought of as pedos. I am sure that is what his wife read first. Now she associates the little part of him with diapers in a very bad light. He can explain to her till he is blue in the face and she will listen to what she reads on the internet. So much misinformation is out there. From one bisexual to another Marcus, there is only one way to clarify this to your wife. If you want it to work sit and talk, whether its one long talk or one thousand short talks, she must be made to realize the truth about ABDL. Many people here do not and cannot understand the complexity of being bisexual. My first husband passed on and I never knew the truth. I am now married to a man that dresses as a woman. We have had the bisexual talk and the trust issues that come up all the time, and we have absolutely no jealousy issues. He has a penis, and what if I am in the mood for vagina ? I have a vagina, what if he is in the mood for a real mans penis, and not a dildo. Now do you understand where I am going with this ? When you are bisexual the trust bond has to be a lot stronger. They do not look at this as cheating. His wifes problem is with his little side and diapers now. Marcus don't despair sweetie, eighteen years is a lot for your wife to just give up. There are many books on Amazon you can order, and just let her read. Some TLC is needed here. I do wish you the best and keep in touch.

 

6 hours ago, Whatsthatsmell said:

She's ok with you banging other people but not ok with a diaper?  

Love you guys, but you have to see the bigger story here

[~Brian~]

4 hours ago, Evelyn Dellcerro said:

As Marcus said he told her about being a little, and that was the reason he gave her for wearing diapers. No matter where you look on the internet we and I mean all of us AB & DL have a horrible label and stigma set upon our heads. We are thought of as pedos. I am sure that is what his wife read first. Now she associates the little part of him with diapers in a very bad light. He can explain to her till he is blue in the face and she will listen to what she reads on the internet. So much misinformation is out there.

@Marcus

Again, @Evelyn Dellcerro HIT the BALL outta the park, and it should LAND sometime next year!  WOW!!

Based on what I have seen, you have told your wife of the "little" side of you, and you wearing diapers, and apparently, she is equating that with all the NEGATIVE things that come with being an ABDL.  As Eve has stated, there are sites that set us off in a very BAAAAAAD light, and make us look like pedos, "sick," "twisted," and other words that I will not use here.  They will try to psychoanalyze the hell outta our brains to find out what makes us different from the norms, or they will make us sound like we are aliens.  There are so many things that we ARE NOT, that make people think we need to be "sent somewhere because we don't conform."   Let me tell you something:  WE DON'T HAVE to conform:  we have to EDUCATE the people that read that chit, that puts us in the worst light possible, and let them know that there are people that feel the way they do, and that there is NOTHING wrong with  feeling the way we do, and I dare say, that the reason we have to keep it under wraps and secret, is because people have pre-conceived notions that because you like diapers, or the lifestyle that is = BAD NEWS - WRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!

Your wife probably also equates the use of diapers in a bad light as well.  I mean, if you are a baby or a young child, you are expected to wear/use diapers and all the support equipment that goes with it, and you are NOT chastised or made fun of, and you are allowed to be a kid in normal course.

However, if you are an AB or DL, then you have another problem, because the "stigma" with being "found out" is almost as bad as getting caught lying.  Your wearing or using diapers is a part of you, and she probably thinks that there is no medical reason for you to be doing it, and based on what she reads, she adds all the negative garbage to the discovery:  There is NOTHING wrong with wearing diapers, and using them as you see fit:  I use them everyday:  I go through diapers sometimes 5-7 a day, depending on what I am doing and how I am feeling.  I have a disability, and need to use them, so no one is gonna question my need:  I would think that most people who use wheelchairs or assistive devices understand that, and if they don't, well, that's their issue.

The issue, is that the information out there is so toxic to those who want to know what an "Adult Baby" or a "Diaper Lover" is and they add the bad sexual deviant type stuff, so it makes it sound like we are "monsters."  It is NO WONDER your wife gets that impression, because the information out on most sites, makes us sound like we are aliens on Vulcan or something from the Fifth Dimension, while in reality, we are sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Husbands, Wives, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, and professionals, that work hard to support people in the community, and all a label does is to place a person in a box, and mark them, like adding a call number to the spine of a library book.

People wear diapers, or use them for their own reasons, and that does NOT make them monsters or bad people:  @Marcus a Diaper is only special underwear that you can pee and poop in, and THAT is IT:  Your wife may not understand that there is something about wearing/using diapers that helps you to deal with issues, or makes you feel comfortable.  Who do you think was one person who helped me realize that?  Well, that's as easy as PIE:  and that person was @Evelyn Dellcerro and of course, her wife, @Transfusionelle!  I don't feel bad anymore:  There are many other things in life that you can worry about, but in my case, I don't have to worry about diapers:  I have them, I use them, I accept them, and I LIKE them, and I don't care who knows here:  because that is the POINT:  I don't have to WORRY anymore - The choice is MINE, and MINE alone

4 hours ago, Evelyn Dellcerro said:

From one bisexual to another Marcus, there is only one way to clarify this to your wife. If you want it to work sit and talk, whether its one long talk or one thousand short talks, she must be made to realize the truth about ABDL. Many people here do not and cannot understand the complexity of being bisexual. My first husband passed on and I never knew the truth. I am now married to a man that dresses as a woman. We have had the bisexual talk and the trust issues that come up all the time, and we have absolutely no jealousy issues. He has a penis, and what if I am in the mood for vagina ? I have a vagina, what if he is in the mood for a real mans penis, and not a dildo. Now do you understand where I am going with this ? When you are bisexual the trust bond has to be a lot stronger. They do not look at this as cheating.

Eve does it AGAIN:  She is right:  Many people need to UNDERSTAND what is going on.  In order to do that, you have to want to make it work, and to do that, you need to sit down and talk, and HELP her understand the TRUTH about AB's and DL's.  I don't care how long it takes, and you should know it could take time, but if your wife is ONLY basing what AB/DL is based on lies and bad information, than it is important that you let her know what it IS, and IS NOT, so she knows the TRUTH:  When Eve is telling you this, she UNDERSTANDS some of the struggles, and she don't mess around - your wife may not fully grasp all the aspects, and so she is, or may be "OK" with one aspect (Bisexuality) and not "OK" with the other (The "Little Side/diapers") However, when this happens, it could take time for her to be able to understand and accept what is going on, and as a guy that's an incontinent Diaper Lover, it took a while for me to understand what I was dealing with:  You can't accept what does not make sense, and you are unlikely to accept what you do not or cannot understand - It will take time for you and your wife to get there, but I feel that it is something that can work, but it will require you to sit down and discuss things, and listen to each other

 

4 hours ago, Evelyn Dellcerro said:

His wifes problem is with his little side and diapers now. Marcus don't despair sweetie, eighteen years is a lot for your wife to just give up. There are many books on Amazon you can order, and just let her read. Some TLC is needed here. I do wish you the best and keep in touch.

Eve is very wise, @Marcus and she is right - in order for your wife to be able to understand what is going on, she needs information that is not "tainted" by people who look at us in a negative light.  ANY BOOK by @rosalie.bentis a great resource, and when I first came here, I read at least 4 of hers, because I was exploring:  Her signature has links to her website, and I am sure that you will be able to find books that make sense:  I have a better understanding of what I am dealing with, along with a better understanding of the lifestyle, because I read her books:  TLC and understanding are INDEED needed here, and I also wish you the best of luck - Don't dispair, for LOVE and understanding will persevere  Hang in There Bud!

 

4 hours ago, Evelyn Dellcerro said:

When you are bisexual the trust bond has to be a lot stronger. They do not look at this as cheating

Right Again - Trust is like GLUE and if you have trust, you have the main piece that you need, and then you can build on that.  The way I look at it, having an understanding of things between you and your partner, will allow you to be able to deal with most things.  In Bisexual relationships, the understanding is important, so each partner knows what they agree is "OK" and what is not "OK"  If you can get the TRUST, the LOVE building block will fall into place, and it makes the relationship stronger - and when Eve is telling you this, you can BANK on it, because you have to have TRUST in your partner, and if you do, then you have the UNDERSTANDING that is needed to be able to handle any situation - Trust Her man, she KNOWS

Good Luck, and keep us posted

Brian

Edited February 14, 2021 by ~Brian~
corrected spelling on a word

[Marcus]

Thanks for the comments. But she says that she married a man not a baby. But I think it's over. I'm just buying time I guess. What sad about all of this is our 15yr old. She doesn't have a problem and had told her mom to back off. She told her mom this morning that if she leaves she is staying with me. But what my wife doesn't know is that my daughter has told me he love for diapers as well. So now what? Where do I go from here? 

[rusty pins]

Hmmmmm.  Not sure I really want to comment much but I will.  Seems there is no give and take with your wife.  You could try a compromise, saying you will only wear on specific days and times as a compromise, but if she is unwilling, that is an issue.  I can see her point, but for better or worse are the vows.  If she can't handle you in diapers, Ok, some wives can't and maybe didn't sign on for that life when getting married if they weren't first aware of your diaper lifestyle.  Some go ahead knowing the situation but thinking they can change you (not in that sense) and make you give up your diapers.  If you later developed your fetish after marriage or increased your wearing more and more, I can see her point as well.  Not something she wanted, she let it go for a while but if it increased a lot more over time, she has a right to bring the subject up.  Bottom line is it takes two to make a marriage and compromising on sticky subjects.  It can't be all one sided.  You have to be willing to give some of it up or cut back and she has to be willing to allow you your time now and then as well.  If one or the other won't budge, I see no reason to go on with the marriage.

As for your 15 year old daughter, well.....  that's a whole new can of worms.  Your 15 year old daughter shouldn't even be a factor in the decision about your diapers.  First, if it was a true incontinence situation she would most likely be aware of it, but as a fetish of yours she is still a minor and it's my opinion your 15 year old child should not even be aware of your AB or diaper lifestyle in the first place.  Just like sex with your wife or partner, would you share the details with your child or let them watch?  She may love diapers herself (and I wonder how she developed that interest and hope you didn't have anything to do with it or encouraging it), but that should not play a part in the issue you and your wife are having.  Even though she is your daughter and your child, I'm concerned a little about her knowing you are a DL or adult kid who likes to wear diapers in the first place and at age 15 I hope it's not in any violation of site rules.  It may be somewhat innocent in the sight of many or a "grey' area, but just the fact she is aware you wear diapers and the reason why could by some be thought of as involving her in the fetish because you didn't hide it or keep it away from her.  Some may argue and some may agree.  That's for people to decide for themselves.

[Marcus]

I do wet at night when I sleep. My wife would rather me sleep on a pad then wear a diaper. I would rather wear a diaper. As for my daughter. My wife makes it a point to tell my children because she thinks if I'm embarrassed by it I will stop. But what's she has done is pushed are kids away. My 2 oldest kids hardly come around because they don't like how she treats me. But she blames that on me as well. She has also told our friends and my family as well. My sister's told her that they have always known about my diaper fetishes. Because my family knew when I was a kid

[foreverdl]

5 hours ago, Marcus said:

Thanks for the comments. But she says that she married a man not a baby. But I think it's over. I'm just buying time I guess. What sad about all of this is our 15yr old. She doesn't have a problem and had told her mom to back off. She told her mom this morning that if she leaves she is staying with me. But what my wife doesn't know is that my daughter has told me he love for diapers as well. So now what? Where do I go from here? 

I will have to agree with Evelyn, You can trust her.  If you go on with separation , divorce , I would get rid of any diapers or little related things. Till it's over. They can be replaced later.

[rusty pins]

A lot depends on a situation and usually we hear only one side.  If you have bedwetting issues and prefer a diaper, that to me is reasonable.  If your wife insists on you sleeping on a bed pad instead, to me that is unreasonable and not practical.  I've said this before in other posts, but when people fall in love and get married, it's for a reason.  Later on if one or the other develops an issue, lets say bedwetting, they should stand together, for better or for worse and work out any issues.  Would you leave someone you love because they developed cancer or would you stay with them to the end?

When some people get married, they fall in love with what they perceive as a strong handsome provider and protector, an equal partner.  That image might be shattered if their handsome hunky partner starts wearing diapers.  That's not the image they have of their husband.  If it's for medical reasons, then if it's a strong and loving marriage the wife will understand and realize she still married a man and not a baby because it's a developed condition.  As we grow old, we will all have issues from mobility, poor eyesight, hearing, and yes, possibly bladder leakage.  On the other hand, when we develop a fetish such as AB or enjoying wearing diapers for fun or pleasure, that can change the whole situation in the mind of a partner who, as said, "Married a man, not a baby".  You have to see her perspective.  If she knew all about it before the marriage, then she accepted that and should not complain unless there has been a dramatic or steady increase in the fetish that she wasn't aware of and didn't sign on for.  You feel OK about it because she knows about it and to this point hasn't really complained so you feel safe enough to increase your diaper activities to the point where she says, "Enough!  Some I looked away at, but now it's becoming too much!"  That is totally understandable from her point.  When someone gives you something you don't take advantage of it.

I also think it is very vindictive  of her to, "make it a point to tell my children because she thinks if I'm embarrassed by it I will stop.  She has also told our friends and my family as well".  That smacks of an ugly divorce where one party brings all kinds of things out in the open just to get back at someone.  It only hurts everyone and does no good.  When it gets to that point, I agree the marriage is probably over and the kids end up getting the worst of it, being caught in the middle.

One last thing that I have said over and over in many of my posts.  To each their own as to how they live their life, but I control my fetish, I DO NOT LET IT CONTROL ME!  When it gets to the point that all I want to do is wear diapers all the time, stay home and not go out with friends to shows or concerts or even get togethers because I would rather stay home and wear my diapers, then I have lost control.  Just like a guy who starts with pot, then moves on to cocaine, heroin and meth.  It starts out small and then ends up getting out of control.  They spend all their money on drugs, lose their job because they are always high or no longer focused, perhaps always missing days at work and end up with a broken marriage.  They lose their home and car because all their money goes to drugs and they can't hold a job.  Soon they start to rob and steal to get money to support their habit.  If they don't die of an overdose or get shot or knifed for their drugs, they end up with a ruined brain and in jail.  They have lost everything because they couldn't keep their habit under control.  The same can happen to an AB or DL who lets this fetish get out of hand and doesn't keep one foot grounded in reality.  The thing people need to ask themselves is what do they value more in their life, and who is in control of that?  Do you value wearing diapers and your AB/DL lifestyle more than your marriage and family to the point you would give all that up over your diaper fetishes, and how did you get to that point?  By letting the fetish slowly take over or by controlling it when it first started to take over your normal life?

[LiL Marc]

On 2/17/2021 at 7:04 PM, Marcus said:

I do wet at night when I sleep. My wife would rather me sleep on a pad then wear a diaper. I would rather wear a diaper. As for my daughter. My wife makes it a point to tell my children because she thinks if I'm embarrassed by it I will stop. But what's she has done is pushed are kids away. My 2 oldest kids hardly come around because they don't like how she treats me. But she blames that on me as well. She has also told our friends and my family as well. My sister's told her that they have always known about my diaper fetishes. Because my family knew when I was a kid

OMG this is realy ugly

@Evelyn Dellcerrowell said!

[foreverdl]

On 2/17/2021 at 4:04 PM, Marcus said:

I do wet at night when I sleep. My wife would rather me sleep on a pad then wear a diaper. I would rather wear a diaper. As for my daughter. My wife makes it a point to tell my children because she thinks if I'm embarrassed by it I will stop. But what's she has done is pushed are kids away. My 2 oldest kids hardly come around because they don't like how she treats me. But she blames that on me as well. She has also told our friends and my family as well. My sister's told her that they have always known about my diaper fetishes. Because my family knew when I was a kid

I know it is not me in the middle of your situation , but one idea I have is you can say sleeping on a baby pad, is babyish too, so you will just wet the bed. See what she says to it. A pad on the bed is jut as baby as a diaper. you use the pads for all ages, but at least you can use it to make your point. If you want to MM me I have gone through over 10 yrs of my wife hating my diapers to now se has been with me in a store and me buying them,,, and now being able to say ok, when I say my plastic pants or my toddler diaper inserts are getting low, and they are on sale at Costco, she has been with me and using them. It taks yrs of the bad days -- weeks with the wins, even when it's 1 step forward and 2 steps back.

[foreverdl]

On 2/18/2021 at 3:17 AM, rusty pins said:

A lot depends on a situation and usually we hear only one side.  If you have bedwetting issues and prefer a diaper, that to me is reasonable.  If your wife insists on you sleeping on a bed pad instead, to me that is unreasonable and not practical.  I've said this before in other posts, but when people fall in love and get married, it's for a reason.  Later on if one or the other develops an issue, lets say bedwetting, they should stand together, for better or for worse and work out any issues.  Would you leave someone you love because they developed cancer or would you stay with them to the end?

When some people get married, they fall in love with what they perceive as a strong handsome provider and protector, an equal partner.  That image might be shattered if their handsome hunky partner starts wearing diapers.  That's not the image they have of their husband.  If it's for medical reasons, then if it's a strong and loving marriage the wife will understand and realize she still married a man and not a baby because it's a developed condition.  As we grow old, we will all have issues from mobility, poor eyesight, hearing, and yes, possibly bladder leakage.  On the other hand, when we develop a fetish such as AB or enjoying wearing diapers for fun or pleasure, that can change the whole situation in the mind of a partner who, as said, "Married a man, not a baby".  You have to see her perspective.  If she knew all about it before the marriage, then she accepted that and should not complain unless there has been a dramatic or steady increase in the fetish that she wasn't aware of and didn't sign on for.  You feel OK about it because she knows about it and to this point hasn't really complained so you feel safe enough to increase your diaper activities to the point where she says, "Enough!  Some I looked away at, but now it's becoming too much!"  That is totally understandable from her point.  When someone gives you something you don't take advantage of it.

I also think it is very vindictive  of her to, "make it a point to tell my children because she thinks if I'm embarrassed by it I will stop.  She has also told our friends and my family as well".  That smacks of an ugly divorce where one party brings all kinds of things out in the open just to get back at someone.  It only hurts everyone and does no good.  When it gets to that point, I agree the marriage is probably over and the kids end up getting the worst of it, being caught in the middle.

One last thing that I have said over and over in many of my posts.  To each their on as to how they live their life, but I control my fetish, I DO NOT LET IT CONTROL ME!  When it gets to the point that all I want to do is wear diapers all the time, stay home and not go out with friends to shows or concerts or even get togethers because I would rather stay home and wear my diapers, then I have lost control.  Just like a guy who starts with pot, then moves on to cocaine, heroin and meth.  It starts out small and then ends up getting out of control.  They spend all their money on drugs, lose their job because they are always high or no longer focused, perhaps always missing days at work and end up with a broken marriage.  They lose their home and car because all their money goes to drugs and they can't hold a job.  Soon they start to rob and steal to get money to support their habit.  If they don't die of an overdose or get shot or knifed for their drugs, they end up with a ruined brain and in jail.  They have lost everything because they couldn't keep their habit under control.  The same can happen to an AB or DL who lets this fetish get out of hand and doesn't keep one foot grounded in reality.

Rusty I agree with your post, I can say there is always hope. But they both have to really LOVE each other and I dont mean the modern day love. The Old time Love that Meant for better or worse and rich or poor, in any and all conditions. It can be discussed and compromise on both sides. People now a days only marry for what the spouse can do for me. We in the yrs ago time, got married till death do us part. That means if they believe this, then sit down and have real conversations, and they both must listen, and I'm not saying there won't be fights, sometimes a fight will make the couple days later think I really Love my spouse, and I need to work with him/her. With out the stupid stuff of conditions, conditions is not a real marriage . They will do what they want, if they Love each other they Both will fight for there marriage .

My wife and I have had our share of fights, I sprung it on her after 15 yrs of our now 26 yr marriage.

[LiL Marc]

14 minutes ago, foreverdl said:

Rusty I agree with your post, I can say there is always hope. But they both have to really LOVE each other and I dont mean the modern day love. The Old time Love that Meant for better or worse and rich or poor, in any and all conditions. It can be discussed and compromise on both sides. People now a days only marry for what the spouse can do for me. We in the yrs ago time, got married till death do us part. That means if they believe this, then sit down and have real conversations, and they both must listen, and I'm not saying there won't be fights, sometimes a fight will make the couple days later think I really Love my spouse, and I need to work with him/her. With out the stupid stuff of conditions, conditions is not a real marriage . They will do what they want, if they Love each other they Both will fight for there marriage .

My wife and I have had our share of fights, I sprung it on her after 15 yrs of our now 26 yr marriage.

Sorry but the word LOVE didnt fit well at all

She told their kids, friends and families

I hope I will never be loved in that way

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

I am truly sorry I have not been here in mind and soul @Marcus I have been a bit preoccupied. But I caught up with most of it. Your wife made many mistakes in using your 15 yr old daughter as a pawn. This is between you and your wife. Not you and the entire family. That goes back to the old adage of mothers embarrassing their teen children by forcing them back in diapers and letting the childs friends see this kind of treatment. Not only hurting the child but causing resentment and later some therapy issues. Telling her family and friends is just cold hearted and cruel. You are in a position we call between a rock and a hard place. There is no simple fix here. Trust issues and bonds have been broken and severed. I agree with Rusty on certain points. Control is a big issue. I never would agree on pot being a gateway. For those that smoke pot and have only smoked pot. Then more power to you. This is not an issue of drugs. All kinds of bonds have been broken here. I dont know if yall have heard the expression "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". What you do in your bedroom is between you and your wife, not for the entire family to know. Your wife broke a cardinal rule and involved a minor. The situation went from bad to worse to critical. Seek counseling before its too late. I hope and pray for you Marcus and I truly wish you the best. 

Edited February 19, 2021 by Evelyn Dellcerro
spelling

[LiL Marc]

17 minutes ago, Evelyn Dellcerro said:

I am truly sorry I have not been here in mind and soul @Marcus I have been a bit preoccupied. But I caught up with most of it. Your wife made many mistakes in using your 15 yr old daughter as a pawn. This is between you and your wife. Not you and the entire family. That goes back to the old adage of mothers embarrassing their teen children by forcing them back in diapers and letting the childs friends see this kind of treatment. Not only hurting the child but causing resentment and later some therapy issues. Telling her family and friends is just cold hearted and cruel. You are in a position we call between a rock and a hard place. There is no simple fix here. Trust issues and bonds have been broken and severed. I agree with Rusty on certain points. Control is a big issue. I never would agree on pot being a gateway. For those that smoke pot and have only smoked pot. Then more power to you. This is not an issue of drugs. All linds of bonds have been broken here. I dont know if yall have heard the expression "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". What you do in your bedroom is between you and your wife, not for the entire family to know. Your wife broke a cardinal rule and involved a minor. The situation went from bad to worse to critical. Seek counseling before its too late. I hope and pray for you Marcus and I truly wish you the best. 

If I had the opportunity to speak English well my text would have resembled yours eve

[~Brian~]

4 hours ago, Evelyn Dellcerro said:

am truly sorry I have not been here in mind and soul @Marcus I have been a bit preoccupied. But I caught up with most of it. Your wife made many mistakes in using your 15 yr old daughter as a pawn. This is between you and your wife. Not you and the entire family. That goes back to the old adage of mothers embarrassing their teen children by forcing them back in diapers and letting the childs friends see this kind of treatment. Not only hurting the child but causing resentment and later some therapy issues. Telling her family and friends is just cold hearted and cruel. You are in a position we call between a rock and a hard place. There is no simple fix here. Trust issues and bonds have been broken and severed. I agree with Rusty on certain points. Control is a big issue.

@Marcus

I am sorry to hear that you have had difficulties because of your wife's "reaction" to you telling her about your diapers, saying that she "married a man, and NOT a baby....." That's pretty hard to take, but I think your wife went too far, and should have dealt with this situation better, because from where I stand, she is the one who overreacted, and made the situation worse, "ramping up the rhetoric" and not being willing to work with you at all. 

I must agree with @Evelyn DellcerroYour wife has broken a vow of TRUST, and instead of you and your wife having a discussion about the issues that you and her are going through, she tells your daughter and your family, in an attempt to "embarrass you."  This is between YOU and your WIFE, and NOT between You, your wife your daughter and your FAMILY.  I DO NOT blame you for being upset over this, as your wife is playing dirty pool here, and NEEDS a "reality CHECK."

Who the heck is she to decide to air the family laundry like this?  is she that insecure with your disclosure(s) that she had to "blab" to everyone?  There are certain things that should be disclosed, to certain people, while other times, it is better to leave the information unsaid: lest you end up in hot water, and drowning in a pit of dispair,

If your wife has decided that she cannot deal with the situation, then so be it, but she should not lower herself to the level of embarrassment she has embarked upon.  In my opinion, this is what a 2 year old does when she wants something, can't get it, and has a "temper tantrum" (by telling EVERYONE she can about your situation).  Worse. she has pulled your 15-year-old Daughter into this, using her as a pawn.  She loves you, and REGARDLESS of what happens, she will mostlikely support you, BUT she she should not be used as a "weapon" between you and your wife.

4 hours ago, Evelyn Dellcerro said:

That goes back to the old adage of mothers embarrassing their teen children by forcing them back in diapers and letting the childs friends see this kind of treatment. Not only hurting the child but causing resentment and later some therapy issues. Telling her family and friends is just cold hearted and cruel. You are in a position we call between a rock and a hard place. There is no simple fix here. Trust issues and bonds have been broken and severed.

I agree with Eve here:  I wish you all the best, and I hope that you are able to speak to a professional to resolve the situation.  Control is an issue, but she should not have done what she did to you - she should have kept it between you and her.  There is NO EXCUSE for what she did, and she needs to take the responsibility for that:  You told her something that I assume that you expected to be kept between you and her, and she "blabbed it" all over to people that had no business knowing, or had a dog in the fight, just to get a "rise" out of you. I also agree with all of what @rusty pins says:  Your fetish(es) are a part of you, and I doubt that will change, so don't let anyone CONTROL YOU - This situation is complicated because your 15 year old has to decide which "side" she takes.  She should NOT have to do that, and your wife has already started this cycle, because your daughter loves YOU and wants to stay with you, and also likes diapers:  Your wife ever hears that, and your REALLY gonna have a mess to deal with.  It would be like if someone decided to get a megaphone and drive through the city, telling people that I use diapers - so that everyone knows:  As I said, it is NO ONE'S BUSINESS but yours and your wife and anyone you tell, and if she is "playing dirty" to get "even", you should NOT stoop to her level, because then she will have YOU in her grasp:  You have to rise above the "infantile" silly behavior that she is projecting, and prepare for the inevitable time when things may change. 

I wish you the best of luck @Marcus and I hope that what i have said can offer some comfort to you. 

Good Luck, and keep us advised!

Brian

Edited February 20, 2021 by ~Brian~
Added Additional Information

[foreverdl]

21 hours ago, LiL Marc said:

Sorry but the word LOVE didnt fit well at all

She told their kids, friends and families

I hope I will never be loved in that way

I am sorry that Love is not a fit in your and your wife's relationship ,,I do hate for any marriage to end. But it almost sounds like it's a miracle that with your wife's attitude that your marriage has lasted this long. It maybe over. I really feel bad for the whole situation . It maybe time to move on , there are people out there that can Love you unconditionally .