I know I am new, but hit a wall, I love my husband

[kinkygaybottom]

Hey all,

I know I am new to the scene, only started diapering 19th October, but both my husband and I were astounded by the impact being diapered could have against my PTSD, and we both fell in love with the new me.

My routine -  I normally remove my nighttime after getting up and making my coffee, have my morning pooh in the loo, thankfully regular as clockwork, then diaper back up in institutional (very cheap ones!) until my shower a couple of hours later, then a good one until bed, then a very good one overnight, and repeat, and normally very calm me.

This week however, I have been getting up, removing, doing morning stuff, and then not diapering, and spending my day working, not diapered, I work from home, so by end of day, hubby gets home to a very stressed me, and suggests I diaper, I feel like I am giving in, and diaper back up, from then a calm returns.

Tonight we had a chat, he knows I am feeling shame for relying on them for a safe space, he knows I am fighting it, and so, he is willing this weekend at home to diaper up for up to 6 hours and have a wee in them.  To show me, if he can do it, then I should have no shame.

I love my husband. I really really hope he does.  And I will update this thread when he does or does not. He is a man of his word, we both are, I really do love him.

 

[oznl]

If I could write a letter and send it back to myself twenty years ago, “future me” would advise me that fighting and blaming myself for a condition I did not choose and cannot change is corrosive and lacks positive point.  I should invest my time in integrating this part of myself to the rest of my life, not trying to compartmentalize, minimize or deny it.

We didn’t choose this.  We just have to manage it as best as we can.

If you have spousal support for the cheapest, low risk, drug-free and most effective therapy known for this (wearing nappies), roll with it.  Throw away your underwear if you need to.

[kinkygaybottom]

10 minutes ago, diaperedboilerman said:

why are you fighting what works? Diapers are just underwear, they make our lives easier and less stressful. Diapers are not something to be ashamed of. Let that Stigma in your mind go. It is just a diaper. It is not drugs, Alcohol, Gambling, or any other bad thing that can destroy your life. Diapers are comfortable, They are relaxing, They are security, they let you not worry about ever finding a toilet. if you wear good quality ones, you are free to pee, sitting, standing, laying, shopping, driving, etc. Your life is so much better in diapers and for the sake of your relationship, you in diapers is better to. Stop fighting what you know is right. Stay padded and let go of the stupid Stigma society placed on diapers. Soon you will find out in public, that no one even notices unless you wear super tight pants, or show it off. No one cares what underwear you wear. Good luck..

Thank you! I know, I am also a dad, to an 8 year old, so only the last few years have been so glad to get him out of diapers!

To end up in them, its kind of ironic. And I guess that's part of why I am fighting.

Thankfully, hubby is being awesome

9 minutes ago, oznl said:

If I could write a letter and send it back to myself twenty years ago, “future me” would advise me that fighting and blaming myself for a condition I did not choose and cannot change is corrosive and lacks positive point.  I should invest my time in integrating this part of myself to the rest of my life, not trying to compartmentalize, minimize or deny it.

 

We didn’t choose this.  We just have to manage it as best as we can.

 

If you have spousal support for the cheapest, low risk, drug-free and most effective therapy known for this (wearing nappies), roll with it.  Throw away your underwear if you need to.

 

We both laugh how many boxers I wear now.... great advice, thank you

[kinkygaybottom]

10 minutes ago, diaperedboilerman said:

My 7 year old daughter still wears diapers at night, and most days while at home or when we go somewhere. There is nothing wrong with diapers at any age....Stop the stigma. Until you stop thinking it is wrong for your kid and you, you will never stop the fight in your head. They are just underwear that makes your life easier. Just relax and stop being so worried about what anyone might think. I have been 24/7 in diapers for around 10 years now. both for need and because I just love diapers and being in them. Go look in the mirror and say out loud "Diapers are just underwear, There is NOTHING wrong with wearing and using diapers". Repeat it until you believe it. There are thousands of people around the world who wear diapers both for need and for convenience,  mental soothing, or just because they like the look and feel. A good quality diaper put on right and sized right can be down right cute too. 

Thank you, I promise on my next change in the bathroom, I will try this, and I will keep trying it.

I know I have to shake the stigma, and that is what has hit.  I know I see a new calm me, and I love the new calm me, I am so much more productive, and happier.

Thank you.

[~Brian~]

3 hours ago, diaperedboilerman said:

My 7 year old daughter still wears diapers at night, and most days while at home or when we go somewhere. There is nothing wrong with diapers at any age....Stop the stigma. Until you stop thinking it is wrong for your kid and you, you will never stop the fight in your head. They are just underwear that makes your life easier. Just relax and stop being so worried about what anyone might think. I have been 24/7 in diapers for around 10 years now. both for need and because I just love diapers and being in them. Go look in the mirror and say out loud "Diapers are just underwear, There is NOTHING wrong with wearing and using diapers". Repeat it until you believe it. There are thousands of people around the world who wear diapers both for need and for convenience,  mental soothing, or just because they like the look and feel. A good quality diaper put on right and sized right can be down right cute too. 

@kinkygaybottom I agree with @diaperedboilerman There is NOTHING wrong with wearing, using, or enjoying diapers.  The problem with most people is that, unless you are under 3, or you are disabled, you get the "hairy eye ball" from some people who don't understand WHY you like to wear, or want to wear diapers.  Lets face it: Using @diaperedboilerman's daughter as an example, we can see that if it works, and she is comfortable and understands and accepts that they are something that makes life easier, and her dad accepts this, than there is NO problem here - I have had accidents on an off for years, and had to make the choice to go to not to go to diapers:  I made my choice, and I have been happier than I have been in a LONG TIME - Diapers for me:  A little extra $$, and a little extra work, but WORTH it, if I feel more confident and able to deal with it.

 

3 hours ago, diaperedboilerman said:

There is nothing wrong with diapers at any age....Stop the stigma. Until you stop thinking it is wrong for your kid and you, you will never stop the fight in your head. They are just underwear that makes your life easier. Just relax and stop being so worried about what anyone might think. I have been 24/7 in diapers for around 10 years now. both for need and because I just love diapers and being in them. Go look in the mirror and say out loud "Diapers are just underwear, There is NOTHING wrong with wearing and using diapers". Repeat it until you believe it. There are thousands of people around the world who wear diapers both for need and for convenience,  mental soothing, or just because they like the look and feel. A good quality diaper put on right and sized right can be down right cute too. 

BOOM - He just said the words "Diapers are Just Underwear, there is NOTHING wrong with wearing and using diapers..."   There is no problem with diapers: at ANY Age You have to realize that I think most of the "stigma" we dealt with as young kids came because of parents that wanted to have us born, raise us up as babies and toddlers, and then TRAIN us to use the potty as FAST as possible, when some of us took to it, and were able to get out of them, because of the ability to use the potty.  Still others, may be able to use the potty, but were RUSHED too fast, so they have issues, because they felt that they needed the support diapers gave them, or the comfort they provided.  Others, may still have issues and need them because of medical or emotional reasons, but TRUST me, wearing diapers is NOT gonna be a big deal: DON'T FIGHT what feels right....because:

3 hours ago, diaperedboilerman said:

There are thousands of people around the world who wear diapers both for need and for convenience,  mental soothing, or just because they like the look and feel. A good quality diaper put on right and sized right can be down right cute too. 

RIGHT ON:  So @kinkygaybottom better get in that bathroom and diaper up - N O W!  because @diaperedboilerman is CORRECT - a QUALITY DIAPER done right is like AWESOME, and he is right again:  They can make the ladies or gents look FABULOUS - and it is NOT bad.......Don't Feel bad if you want to wear diapers, and REPEAT his words again and again and again - As far as your 8 year old, I am sure that he understands, or will understand -kids are good like that

Good Luck and ENJOY it, DON'T FIGHT it, or it will drive you bananas!

Brian

PS:  I am sure that @Evelyn Dellcerro would agree with my posting as well:  If you FIGHT, you are only denying yourself the pleasure of the experience, and also being a DL herself, she would probably be able to tell you that it is heaven to be in a diaper, beside your husband or wife - Besides, who do you think was one person that helped ME understand that feeling.......well, its HER and @TransfusionelleIn order to understand what you are dealing with, you have to be able to FEEL it, and then decide what's going ON, so don't feel guilty - LIVE it Man

 

Edited December 1, 2020 by ~Brian~
Added Additional Information and handles

[~Brian~]

@diaperedboilerman

You are welcome:  You are also right.  90% of the stigma that surrounds the use of diapers is based on the fear that someone is gonna find out what you are wearing, or doing, or indulging in, and then peer pressure gets to the kids.  They think it is funny, and they go "tell on you," and reveal secrets that embarrass you.  I am lucky, because being disabled, I've had to use diapers before, and My late brother, being severely disabled, was using them all 10 years of his short life, and there was no stigma there, but I've had friends that were the same age as your daughter was (7/8/9 Range) and a couple guys were incontinent and a couple girls i knew wore diapers because of being bedwetters or being incontinent/disabled.  One of them was in TEARS because he was deathly afraid that someone was gonna find out, then he was gonna get picked on by his friends or others. 

I told him of my brother, and said that there was NO WAY I was gonna LET anyone pick on him, and if they did, our counselors would deal with it, and I would be going after anyone that did that - Told him that No one would find out what was going on except ME, the director, the Nurse, the counselor and his parents, and if ANYONE gave him any grief, that people would be PUNISHED.

As you and I have said: diapers are NOTHING but soft disposable underwear, and some people NEED them, and some people WANT them, and for some people they are convenient, and allow then to live their life, rather than to allow the loss of control to rule the person's life.

It is also important to note that because you and your daughter have the understanding that you do, and accept the situation as it is, that there is an understanding that diapers can BE used, without fear of retribution or punishment.  If more people accepted this, I feel kids would not be so messed up - Because diapers can be used to HELP you, why would there be any reason for anyone to chastise them?  I KNOW you both understand this, and others here also, but stigma is hard to break, and as you said, diapers can be used by anyone regardless of age, so having a parent that understands this is AWESOME

Same with the Adults:  If you want them, need them or believe that they will relax you, why would anyone think they were bad?:  Answer:  Our upbringing says "Diapers are for babies and young toddlers, and you need to be able to use the potty before you can go to school, so the diapers have to be GONE" -  Some kids can't do that, and they have issues, so the best way to  handle that is to keep doing what works - that is why when I was in school, I became more aware of what a disabled child's education was like, because they learned differently, and because of severe disability, aides would feed and change and teach these guys and gals

59 minutes ago, diaperedboilerman said:

And my name is Bryan too!  

Nice to meet ya Bryan -   Hope to talk to you again soon

Good Luck!

Brian

 

 

[~Brian~]

9 minutes ago, diaperedboilerman said:

yes, and thanks. And why in the hell does DD only allow you to like a small amount of comments a day? I don't understand this. I tried to like your comment and was scolded by the DD gods for liking too many things in a day? WTF?

@diaperedboilerman

I too, have noticed that there was a limit set for likes:  I don't know if it is set that way so someone can't "like bomb flood" the forums with them, or if there is a hard limit set by the software itself.  Usually, if memory serves me correctly (because I have a small forum myself for information purposes), you can set a limit on the number of likes (reputation points) people can use (give out) as well as the time limit that must pass before a person with no further reputation can like posts again.  When you reach that limit you get the "box" telling you that you can't like any more posts today.......maybe @DailyDi, @Elfy or another admin can let us know further information about this, or can possibly increase the soft limit amount, and the time limit that has to pass before being able to like again can decreased?  

That would be an admin level decision, that would have to be discussed I'd wager

Your welcome, friend

Brian

[DailyDi]

The software was set by default, and I was surprised to see the default was 3 reactions per day. I have raised it to 10 a day for members and 25 a day for supporters.

[kinkygaybottom]

14 minutes ago, DailyDi said:

The software was set by default, and I was surprised to see the default was 3 reactions per day. I have raised it to 10 a day for members and 25 a day for supporters.

 

19 minutes ago, diaperedboilerman said:

yeah. I just don't see the harm, if I read 10 messages and agree with them and click like on them. how am I harming anything? Oh well. it is what it is.   Anyhow, I am at work, and need to change. so I am off of here. nice chatting and have a great rest of your evening!  

 

24 minutes ago, ~Brian~ said:

@diaperedboilerman

I too, have noticed that there was a limit set for likes:  I don't know if it is set that way so someone can't "like bomb flood" the forums with them, or if there is a hard limit set by the software itself.  Usually, if memory serves me correctly (because I have a small forum myself for information purposes), you can set a limit on the number of likes (reputation points) people can use (give out) as well as the time limit that must pass before a person with no further reputation can like posts again.  When you reach that limit you get the "box" telling you that you can't like any more posts today.......maybe @DailyDi, @Elfy or another admin can let us know further information about this, or can possibly increase the soft limit amount, and the time limit that has to pass before being able to like again can decreased?  

That would be an admin level decision, that would have to be discussed I'd wager

Your welcome, friend

Brian

Glad I am not the only one, I wanted to click thanks so many times tonight reading the responses, and honestly thank you all, I am much calmer this evening, smiling, rested.

I was going to raise a forum question why I could only react to a few posts per day, seemed silly.

Thank you all. Hugs

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

Out of my love for @~Brian~ I would have to say I agree,, way too much of a big deal is made over the use of diapers. I was 13 yrs old when I discovered my love of diapers. Don't you think I felt the shame, disgrace, dishonour, and the mark it would have placed on my parents ? I enjoyed pooping and having orgasms in my diaper.. How do you think a psychiatrist would have reacted in 1978 ?  There is no shame @kinkygaybottom If diapers calm you down then you should wear them with pride baby. Your husband is willing to diaper up for you and that to me is the highest form of support. My own nephew who just turned eighteen wears diaper because he loves the comfort and the feeling of safety it brings him. He was a bit perplexed to see his aunt wears diapers and so does her wife. He learned in his own time the comfort they bring. If a child wets the bed you find out why first and then you remedy it. you don't ridicule or shame them, you help them because that is what a parent is for and its your duty to make the child feel as comfortable as you can. @diaperedboilerman I praise you my friend. Never shame your baby and always be there for her. I was alone in a diaper for many years only because I did not want to put my parents through that stigma. Now forty three years later I still love my diapers and I met a loving, beautiful diaper loving sissy that I dated for three years and now blissfully married. I taught my own nephew to be proud and never let anyone shame you or put you down for what you love or for what you feel in your heart. @~Brian~I love you and respect you so much sweetie. You have CP and have proven yourself over and over to be an asset here. Diapers helped you and made you realize that they are fun and that you can enjoy something so basic. To those that are incon, diapers are a need. I have total empathy for them, but even so, many of them have grown to love diapers. Diapers is not a fad for me, It is a way to the means, and a part of my life.

[~Brian~]

23 minutes ago, Evelyn Dellcerro said:

Out of my love for @~Brian~ I would have to say I agree,, way too much of a big deal is made over the use of diapers. I was 13 yrs old when I discovered my love of diapers. Don't you think I felt the shame, disgrace, dishonour, and the mark it would have placed on my parents ? I enjoyed pooping and having orgasms in my diaper.. How do you think a psychiatrist would have reacted in 1978 ?  There is no shame @kinkygaybottom

@Evelyn Dellcerro

I felt the same way at ****8**** that you felt at 13, but I also felt at the time like there was something "wrong" feeling the way that I did.  Knowing how they took care of kids back in the 70's, they'd probably have sent you and i to a place to try to "correct" our behavior, even though there was NOTHING wrong with it - I think that's why I repressed the feelings and behaviors, but every time a diaper came out:  Well, it set it off, and I had to deal with the feelings, and then "snap back in," so they didn't think something bad about me.  I experienced EACH feeling you described, but had to keep it hidden, so they would not think I was crazy!

@kinkygaybottomEve is right;  There is NO Shame, so don't feel bad, just live it - LET yourself enjoy the feelings and experience - Besides:  who the heck is gonna know, unless you and your husband TELL people, and if they do find out, there are ways to deal with it.  I am IC and a DL, and know that I NEED them, but I have learned from DD and from people like @Evelyn Dellcerro@Transfusionelle@square_duckand others that there are WAYS to enjoy the need, and that is the part you add when you use them daily -  You add the enjoyment piece after you decide to dive all the way down and say "Diapers I need, fun I want". By you and your husband enjoying diaper play, you will get that FUN - just remember to respect your partners limits, as he respects YOURS - and you will be well on your way

42 minutes ago, Evelyn Dellcerro said:

@~Brian~I love you and respect you so much sweetie. You have CP and have proven yourself over and over to be an asset here. Diapers helped you and made you realize that they are fun and that you can enjoy something so basic. To those that are incon, diapers are a need. I have total empathy for them, but even so, many of them have grown to love diapers. Diapers is not a fad for me, It is a way to the means, and a part of my life.

And I, love you and respect you and your wife so much as well:  You have helped, and continue to help me understand some of the strange feelings, urges and dreams i have been experiencing, and YES, diapers are a NEED and a help to me, as I want to be able to enjoy the experiences:  because of you, I have become more bold, trying things I never thought I would do in a million years: such as messing my diaper, and then experiencing that - Or letting it go, and not changing for a few hours:  each is a unique experience, and I enjoy it - because It is NOT bad if you are wearing a diaper, to use it.

CP is a condition, and as a precaution, I have gone to diapers 24/7, as I have had the IBS and Diverticulitis flare up more and more. People always ask me about what it is like to have CP, or to use a chair, or to have to use my walker, crutches or stander.  They are EACH a part of ME, and make me a better person - You have to experience what you live, or what you describe, before you can understand it - My goal on DD is to HELP people finally get the idea that diapers are NOT for babies, they are for Adults too, and if they decide to use them, for whatever reason, there is NOTHING wrong with it:  Even a young man (Your Nephew) uses them, and there is NOTHING wrong with that choice:  as @diaperedboilermansays "stop the stigma:  Diapers are for all ages"

Brian

[kinkygaybottom]

18 minutes ago, ~Brian~ said:

 

@kinkygaybottomEve is right;  There is NO Shame, so don't feel bad, just live it - LET yourself enjoy the feelings and experience - Besides:  who the heck is gonna know, unless you and your husband TELL people, and if they do find out, there are ways to deal with it.  I am IC and a DL, and know that I NEED them, but I have learned from DD and from people like

Thank you, really appreciated, and yes, have so far been to customers and to my in-laws, both diapered, and weekends with my son, diapered and he never notices, no one has, I know I can wear and no one suspects, have proven that! Time to start dedicating to my new life.  I have agreed with hubby this evening, and he asked me if it was ok, from now on, if he says I need to be diapered, I have to. He wants to get me to accept it, and I love him for doing this.

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

11 minutes ago, diaperedboilerman said:

You and I are only a couple years apart. I am the oldest of 7 kids, and I loved diapers as far back as I could remember. My sister had a lot of accidents and my parents spanked her instead of letting her wear diapers. When I was a teen, like 82 or 83 ish, I would take Pampers from my baby sister and brothers room....several a week and wear and use them. My mom probably went nuts trying to figure out how the diapers were disappearing! LOL 

  My little one and I went out to eat then to the zoo on Saturday night to see the Christmas lights. She didn't think twice about putting that diaper on before we left, and it was soaked when we returned a few hours later. The only public bathroom she uses is at her school............when it is in session.  all virtual at this point again. she was daytime potty trained around 4 1/2, but diapers never totally left her life, and they never will if I have anything to say about it. Thanks so much for the kind words!  If only my ex-wife thought the same. LOL 

Many people are set in their ways sweetie. For too many people diapers are a change of the norm. It should be change diapers to the norm. Maybe it wasn't meant to be for you and wife,, but you are young sweetie. I was widowed at forty six and found love at fifty two. Never give up on love and you take care of that precious child.

[Dartplayerinwvc]

Being 57 and have liked Pampers since the 1970s, 5 and 6 years old and all this time.... I am finally married to someone who has somewhat embraced it. She does Scentsy Sales and bought me something - View my post on this... But.. I just think about all the time I wasted on others who didn't care, didn't want to care.... and "Spread the Secret" and ruined parts of my Life. Why worry about what works. "Don't fix something that isn't broken". Go with it. Enjoy it. Evelyn Dellcerro's comment and others... "taking diapers from siblings stash" is a common thread, same here also. "Bless the calm, bless the fun".  Now with MS at 51 AND dealing with it for 6 years and its issues with diapers. Enjoy what you have.

[kinkygaybottom]

13 minutes ago, diaperedboilerman said:

 I would rather live the rest of my life alone, and with my kid.

You and me both(with my hubby as well), my ex, still now 6 years later hates my guts for coming out of the closet, won't forgive me and will do anything in her power to stop me seeing my son, thankfully my son loves me and we have a court order, so she can bugger off! lol.....

[scorepio]

52 minutes ago, Evelyn Dellcerro said:

Many people are set in their ways sweetie. For too many people diapers are a change of the norm. It should be change diapers to the norm. Maybe it wasn't meant to be for you and wife,, but you are young sweetie. I was widowed at forty six and found love at fifty two. Never give up on love and you take care of that precious child.

Evelyn, May I say that you are a powerful, honest, caring and guiding soul. Thank you for your love.

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

1 hour ago, scorepio said:

Evelyn, May I say that you are a powerful, honest, caring and guiding soul. Thank you for your love.

Sweetie it takes two to love,, and you are a good man !!  Love them diapers !!

[Little Sherri]

This was a very interesting read. I battled shame and humiliation for years over, first of all, wearing diapers to bed until I was about 10 (and sometimes on long car trips and such), and then, figuring out that I liked, and actually needed them back in my life a couple of years later, and making my own, getting caught at it by my stepfather when I was about 13, and being humiliated in front of my family by my step-father about it. Your daughter is lucky, @diaperedboilerman. 

[kinkygaybottom]

19 hours ago, diaperedboilerman said:

it really is horrible the stigma adults place on diapers. It is just stupid. Diapers are a tool to use for convenience as much as anything else like need or like. 

Thank you, as said before, I am now starting to tell myself, these are my underwear, and nothing more.  

I am trying to convince myself, and every time I put one on, I say it out loud to myself, maybe one day, I might actually snap and let go, drop the shame and move on.  I hope so, so I am going to work to actively accept me, my needs and my diapers.  Have certainly spent enough on them!

[kinkygaybottom]

9 minutes ago, diaperedboilerman said:

it will take some time...like several months to a couple years if it is super deep imbedded in you. But if you wear 24/7 and just NEVER let yourself in underwear again, your will get your self comfortable with your new situation and before you know it you will find yourself not even hardly thinking about it. You will find if you only wear good quality trust worthy diapers so there is never a leak or worry of one, it helps you to relax. The sooner you don't worry about peeing yourself and just do it, the sooner your brain stops thinking about it and all is normal........in diapers.  Also it helps as you get older and stop caring what others think about you. LOL In my 20's and 30's I hid my diapers from everyone. In my lower 40's I went 24/7 both for need and because I always wanted to. By the time I was 47 I told people, and some have seen me in just a diaper and shirt. The guys at work all know I wear diapers too. We have a trash can that all 3 shifts use and only gets dumped on Monday and Friday. When I change my diaper, I put the wet one in a black plastic bag and toss it in the trash can. Everyone can see "Bryan's black bags" in the trash can at the rate of one a day.  

Thank you, the one thing that really is helping, I love weeing in my diaper, and I love the feel, and I have invested in a lot of good diapers...!  Had a problem with some ABU Little Pawz, leaking through the front, they were compressed too much for shipping, thankfully ABU sent me another pack!

I do prefer padded diapers as well, love the feel, and I do love wearing them, I just have to accept them as part of me now.

[kinkygaybottom]

11 minutes ago, diaperedboilerman said:

yep, it feels really good to wet your diaper, and to be in a wet one. I remember when I first wore diapers in public, It was a real rush to stand in front of my boss talking to him and peeing myself. LOL the warm moist thick diaper feels pretty nice too.  Good luck!  

Yes, the first day hubby and I went to see customers with me diapered was an experience, my first wee, I had to leave the room for some privacy, I get the "wetting face", hubby always laughs when I do.  It was an experience!

[kinkygaybottom]

9 minutes ago, diaperedboilerman said:

LMAO the "wetting face". Everybody knows what your doing! LOL Actually you would be surprised how many don't notice. And soon you will stop reacting when you are peeing. You will just continue talking, or walking, what ever you were doing before you let your bladder go.  

  BTW, I know people in NewCastle, Wales, and London. My one buddy in Kent I think has passed away now.  2 years ago he had a massive stroke, and was in a home. I have completely lost contact with him now.  

 

Yeah its so new, and sometimes I think I can hide it... hubby laughs, I can only wee standing up, so overnight, he has woke and seen me get out of bed, go stand next to the wardrobe, have my wee, and then get back in bed.  

Oh, so sorry about your friend, just lost a dear friend recently, unfortunately it will happen to us all, we have to remember them, cherish our time, and let them live on our in thoughts.

Hugs

[kinkygaybottom]

12 minutes ago, diaperedboilerman said:

yeah, it takes practice to pee laying in bed. I have Nocturia, and once I get up I can't get back to sleep. I was so sick and tired of going to bed at midnight, waking up at 1:30 to pee, tossing and turning till 2:30 only to wake up again about 4 to pee again, toss and turn till 5, then waking up again at 7 to pee, and just staying up.  I started wearing diapers at night long before I went 24/7. it took me over a month to be able to pee laying in bed, but I am so glad I did it. Now I get a good nights sleep. Most of the time I do wake up before I pee. (not always) but I roll on my back, let it out and fall back to sleep sometimes while I am still peeing. This morning I woke up to an extremely wet diaper. I remember peeing once, but my diaper was too wet for just one pee. I don't mind at all. Actually I wish I would never wake up to pee at all. But I think the problem was, until I got the right diaper with booster combination, I had leaks a couple times a week. Getting my bed wet bothers me, so I was on guard. I have yet to break that bad habit of waking up when I have to pee. What is odd, is when I am sitting or standing, my OAB kicks in and I pee myself without even thinking about it. I go from comfortable to peeing myself in a minute. But laying in bed, I don't have this issue. I have to let it out. If I wake up having to go, and get up, I will piss myself before I get to the bathroom, but laying down I can hold it. By body is so odd.  But it justifies my need for diapers, and I love it.

  Yeah thanks on my buddy. Death is part of life and we all have our times. Lost my Mom when she was 50. Dad at 73. My one model I used to shoot with who was a good friend of mine and had a key to my house committed suicide July of 2019 at the age of 26. Lost my aunt, and other good friends too in the last few years. It is what it is. I think looking Kitty at age 26 when she was supposed to come over that night, but instead choose to leave this world was the hardest next to my Father.   

Wow, what a journey, I still want to keep control, and I do not actually want to wee in bed, as I know there will be a night where I just want to air, I really do not have to wear, I wear for comfort and mental health.  But sometimes its nice just to have my ass naked! So, really don't want to loose control in bed, and for me, I think its a nice rule to have.  So far in the last two months since starting, there has been a night about once a month, I enjoy laying as naked as I can be.

I do want to get the hang of sitting and weeing, and driving, and lounging on the sofa..... they are my next targets.  I know many struggle driving and weeing at first.  Think might drink loads and just go for long drives till I crack it.

On loss, yes, I lost my mother in 2014, after a 2 year battle with terminal illness, but I got something many others never get, over that time, we were completely honest with each other, and she let me air all my regrets with her, it was a time I now treasure and will do for ever. Right when my son was conceived, my mother was diagnosed within days, as one dies, another is born. A never ending cycle.

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21 minutes ago, diaperedboilerman said:

Yeah, peeing while driving is very difficult too because you are focused on the road, the gas peddle, the brake, the steering, others around you. You can't relax enough to let go so easy. also don't wear pants too tight. I found out the hard way the urine will fill the front of the diaper and run up over your hips and get the side of your pants wet. LOL I had to go into a service station once to get petrol with wet pants. But like I say, the pee had made a wet patch on the side of my hip and not my crotch, so anyone who saw me figured I just rubbed against something wet. LOL Took me a long time to break that one too. 

 

    Wow, that is fantastic that you got to speak to your Mom like that before she went. Yep lost both my parents to Cancer. It is a horrible disease.   Mom and I never got along well from about my age 14 on anyhow, so for me it was good. She was now at peace and not in pain, and not being a pain to me anymore. But Dad on the other hand. Dad was my buddy. My friend. Dad and I were both into trains, and had the same taste in women ( Mom was not one of them) LOL and Dad and I thought the same about a lot in life. I do miss him. But yeah, one goes, another comes into the world. It is life. 

Thankfully with my current situation (in chastity as well) weeing up will never happen! lol... I wee like a girl... straight down, and in the lower crotch area.  We have both a manual gearbox car (stick shift in US) and an automatic, I prefer driving the auto. You only have to steer and press go or stop peddles! lol.  Will probably practice in that one first.

My relationship with my parents was reversed to yours, my Mum was my rock, she supported and encouraged me my entire life, I swore I could do no wrong.  My father was a twat.  Unfortunately I am high level Aspergers, so by the time I hit 11, my IQ has passed his, and he felt threatened, he could not deal with my autism, and from the age of 12 onwards, always called me "different".

We never had a relationship after that, I hate him, he hates me, we do not talk, and I am just counting the days until he is finally out of my life and can no longer haunt me.  The wrong parent for me was taken.  Something I will probably still be angry about for a few years to come.

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Tykables Romper for me, they are just so comfy, and hold a soggy one up nicely.

Will listen to your advice, its going to be an interesting journey, going to be keeping a diary for just this part of my life, something I may or may not ever read again, but good to get down on paper, express myself, I find that helps with my PTSD, have a journal for that. And I never read that one...!