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Done Adulting, Vol. 2 (Final chapter posted 12/21/20)


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I like how the relationship is changing between Manda and Jamie. It is becoming less fraternal/sororal and more Maternal. It seems to me that the way Manda treats Jamie is in effect a direct measurement of her overall maturity. In my opinion this is best captured in the wording:

23 hours ago, Alex Bridges said:

She felt the weight of guardianship

Almost as though when Jamie and her lived with Becky she was able to be more flighty with her responsibility of Jamie and Becky would pick up the slack. Now since she does not have

23 hours ago, Alex Bridges said:

Becky to take the lead

 She is forced to actually be the ultimate authority figure in the eys of Jamie. For the first time she is  really responsible for the health, and wellbeing of one of the people she loves and cherishes most in the world. I bet that realisation is an eye-opener for sure. 

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10 hours ago, Shotgun Diplomat said:

I like how the relationship is changing between Manda and Jamie. It is becoming less fraternal/sororal and more Maternal. It seems to me that the way Manda treats Jamie is in effect a direct measurement of her overall maturity. In my opinion this is best captured in the wording:

Almost as though when Jamie and her lived with Becky she was able to be more flighty with her responsibility of Jamie and Becky would pick up the slack. Now since she does not have

 She is forced to actually be the ultimate authority figure in the eys of Jamie. For the first time she is  really responsible for the health, and wellbeing of one of the people she loves and cherishes most in the world. I bet that realisation is an eye-opener for sure. 

It is interesting to see the evolution and to wonder how far it goes. Manda has always been more of a disciplinarian than Becky, but that may be because Becky was there to dial her back. Without Becky to do that, maybe Manda will moderate herself more.

But she’s still gotta be a big sister, too.

It helps that Jamie is so well behaved.

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1 hour ago, Shotgun Diplomat said:

I can honestly say that I do not remember that facet of Mandas character at all. 

 

 

She’s always been a little more ready to dish out corner time, like after the little extract incident.

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I don't know if I cold ever get you used to that. Not being able to take the initiative myself. Like I enjoy the idea of having someone as a back stop but out right overriding or saying no would generally be a last resort.

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One year, 1,600 pages, 2,020 likes, and a very happy family.

———————————
 

Chapter 93

 

“Who’s a good bear? Is it you? Is you a good bear? Yes, you is. Such a good bear. The very best bear ever.”

Becky paused, and quietly waved to Amanda, putting a finger to her lips and pointing into Jamie’s nursery.

“Such a soft bear, too ... You give good hugs.”

Amanda bit her lip and shook her head, wishing she could take a video. It made sense. She just didn’t know Jamie talked to his bear that way. The same way they sometimes talked to him. That’s the first pretend play children do, imitating their parents. She could understand how Jamie would take on the same mantle, thinking of his bear the way she and Becky thought of theirs, anthropomorphizing his little buddy. Amanda was willing to admit she talked to her stuffies growing up and occasionally talked to the bear Jamie had given her when she was alone.

Becky, smiling ear to ear, waited until Jamie was done playing and laid his head back down in the crook of the bear’s arm. He’d been down for a nap for a while without sleeping, so he tired to just rest. He was rubbing the bear’s belly, enjoying its soft fur.

“Baby bear,” Becky sang quietly to get his attention. 

“Hi, Mom.”

“How’d my bear sleep?”

“I didn’t, really.”

“O, no? How’d your bear sleep?”

“He always sleeps soundly,” Jamie giggled, not knowing she’d seen him talking to his bear.

“Well, somebody needs their diaper changed.” Becky walked to the edge of the crib and reached in, dodging Jamie’s arms and picking up his bear instead. He was confused and didn’t know what to say.

Becky laid the bear on Jamie’s changing table and reached under it for the newborn diapers stuffed into the bottom shelf, acting as though nothing were out of the ordinary. Humming to herself, she opened the diaper the bear was wearing and stopped, furrowing her brow.

“Something is different ... O no! I got the wrong bear!”

“Hehehehe,” Jamie giggled.

“Sorry, Jamie. The two of you look so much alike these days.”

“It’s okay.”

“You mind if I finishing changing his diaper first?”

“Nope. He’s been in that one for too long.”

Becky made a production out of it, tickling  the bear’s tummy and dusting its diaper area with powder before she replaced the old diaper with the new one.

“All clean,” Becky said.

“You’re being awfully silly today,” Jamie said. No more than Jamie, though, a thought Becky kept to herself.

“Now for the other bear,” Becky said as she put the teddy in the crib and lifted Jamie out. “You is a very wet boy,” she said when she saw how saggy his diaper was. 

“May I please be naked for a while,” Jamie asked. Becky had no qualms about that. The only thing nearly as cute as his butt in a diaper was his butt in nothing. She wiped him down, powdered him, and took a diaper from the table to carry back to the living room.

“Ready to tackle the afternoon,” she asked him.

“Meh.” She put him on her hip and got only one step before Jamie asked, “Can you please get my paci?”

Becky smiled, ruffled his hair, and reached into the crib, fishing around the blankets until she found it. She took the bear and handed it to Jamie.

“Maybe your bear would like a pacifier, too.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not,” she asked as she headed to the living room. 

“He’s still growing. It would be bad for his teeth.” Really, he just didn’t want his bear to have a pacifier somehow attached. It would be less snuggly. He yawned a great big yawn.

“O, of course,” Becky said with a chuckle.

“Mom,” Manda said, pretending to be surprised. “You diapered the wrong bear! You were supposed to diaper the hairless one with the pink butt.”

Becky gave Jamie’s butt three smart pats. “I like this butt.”

“I’ve always been partial to it myself,” Jamie added and yawned again.

“What are we supposed with a naked Jamie,” Manda asked.

“We could tickle it.”

“No!”

“You don’t wanna be tickled,” Becky asked.

“No. Maybe later.”

“Well,” Becky said as she sat down on the couch and shifted him to her chest, “maybe just some gentle tickles.” She offered Jamie his paci and guided his head down. With one arm around his waist, she used her right hand to run her fingernails up and down his bare skin. Jamie cooed and shifted his body back and forth, trying to snuggle deeper.

“I bet I can get you to go to sleep,” Becky said softly into his ear. He nodded and closed his eyes. “You are such a good bear,” she said. “Such a soft bear ... Mama’s good bear.”

From his neck to his feet, from his right hand to his left, Becky caressed every inch of him. 

Manda took out her phone and silenced it before taking a picture of Jamie in their mom’s arms. She’d print that one. She texted it to Mel.

“Feel good, baby,” Becky whispered after several minutes.

“He’s out, I think,” Manda told her. She reached over and caressed his thigh. He did have a cute butt, and let’s face it, not all littles do. She sighed and sat back.

“You want him for a while,” Becky asked.

“Nah. Enjoy him.”

“I always enjoy my baby bear,” Becky whispered to Jamie, “because he is the bestest bear there ever was.” She put her other arm around him, her hand wrapped around his side, and enjoyed the heavy, warm softness of her bear.

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Chapter 94

 

There is all the difference in the world between a hotdog that’s been boiled and one that’s been grilled. It was Jamie’s great pleasure when he worked as a camp counselor during college to sneak a few hotdogs from the kitchen to the grill on parents’ day, spotting the foreign cook a hotdog so he could understand the difference, too, and take that great piece of cultural knowledge home with him when camp was over. The hotdog didn’t exist in Itali, but plenty of other sausages did, all better on a grill, which Amanda manned while Becky, Jamie, and Ella enjoyed the sun at the patio table on the last day before Becky had to return to work.

The food was playing the dual role of nourishment and topic of conversation to avoid the prickly question of what kind of summer it had been. ‘All’s well that ends well’ has more resignation than resonance, almost a fatalism. Things had worked out for now: that seemed the highest praise they could give in good faith.

Even Jamie, who loved summer more than any of them, was looking forward to daycare and the return to a more predictable routine in two week’ time. Having two homes would make it different than just a few months prior, but the sense that they’d been making up so much of their days as they went along would fade as it all blended back into the structure of school.

Both Jamie and Ella were glad they would be spending more time together. With all the upheaval, they didn’t get as many days with one another as they otherwise would have, and the prospect of every weekday together was a welcome change. Even daycare itself was a welcome change for Jamie, though he knew that wouldn’t last beyond the first week, as he’d grown tired of their summer standby, the pool. Not that he didn’t enjoy it, just that he needed more variety. 

The school year rather than the calendar year drove their lives, so they each made their own quiet resolutions. Becky, to assign less homework. Amanda, to be a more diligent student. Jamie, to participate more in activities at daycare. 

Except Ella, for whom the school year didn’t mean as much and the calendar year less. She had no resolutions. She just looked forward to her partner being with her every day.

They enjoyed their lunch together, and Stacy collected Ella at the usual time. Amanda hung around for another hour and left, promising to be back early enough to start Jamie’s day and let Becky get her early start. After a light dinner, Becky gave Jamie a second bath just because they both wanted to and then carried him upstairs where his bear was waiting patiently to start his night shift as pillow and protector.

“You’re handsome all the time, baby, but maybe a little more handsome with your hair combed,” Becky said as she teased his damp hair on her bed.

“We could get my hair cut as short as my bear’s, and then we wouldn’t have to comb it,” he countered.

“And lose these blonde locks? No way, buster.” He always smelled so sweet after a bath. Something about littles, Becky knew, because the same soap and shampoo didn’t make her smell that way. Amanda had tried to, and her hair never came out as silky as his did.

“I’m sorry you have to go back to work.” Like all teachers from time immemorial, Becky loved the start of summer unconditionally, but she both loved and hated the end of summer. She was ready to go back even as she was ready to sleep late and head to the pool rather than work, or anywhere other than work.

“It’s okay. It’s time. Summer wouldn’t be special if it didn’t end.”

“Sorry it wasn’t a better summer,” he said.

“You don’t think so,” she asked.

“I had my appendix out, Ella’s world, and mine, I guess, got totally turned upside down, and Manda moved out. Not exactly what I had in mind in the spring. O, and Mel’s not around as much.”

She kissed his hair. “I know, but things worked out okay, didn’t they? Ella’s still here and happy she got to see her family. The three of us are adjusting pretty well to you having two homes. Mel is doing well, and you still get to see her. And you weren’t using that appendix thing anyway.”

“I know. Still, I could’ve done without all that. You, too, I’m sure ... I’m still ...” He shook his head and trailed off.

Becky put her arms around him and tipped herself backwards, taking him with her and grabbing his ankles. “Im’a start tickling these feet if you don’t tell me,” she warned. She found she enjoyed roughhousing with him more than she thought she would, and she was glad to do it more often now that Amanda wasn’t around all the time to do it. Even more, she liked that he was sharing with her more. She felt guilty about that pleasure sometimes as often what he shared were feelings about the complications that had come into his life with all the changes of the summer. 

“Everyone’s always threatening to tickle me,” he whined. He didn’t mind, much. He could understand how irresistible his peals of laughter and squirming could be, and he liked their hands as much as they liked his body. It was the counterpart to their sometimes stated desire to gobble him up.

Becky landed three heavy thumps on his thick nighttime diaper and cover, letting his ankles down. It was one of the first things he noticed in Itali, how often someone patted his diapered butt, and he connected it immediately to the way humans do the same thing with their children, and he didn’t know what made it so viscerally satisfying for both of them.

“Wanna just tell me anyway,” she asked.

“I’m just still getting used to the two homes thing,” he confessed. “I know it’s only been a few weeks. It’s just ... It doesn’t feel like going home yet, when I go over there.”

Becky held her breath and closed her eyes for a moment. “Do you think it will be, eventually?”

“I hope so.”

“It is your home, too. We don’t just say that.”

“I know. I guess we just need more time.”

Becky hesitated. She’d made herself a promise that she wouldn’t do this, but perhaps it would make him feel better. “I’m not used to it yet, either. It’s a big house when no one else is home, but it’s only been a few weeks, and it’s summer still. We’ll all be back in school soon, and then I don’t think it will stand out as much.”

“I don’t think so, either.”

“And mom’s aren’t supposed to ever say this, Jamie, but I will if you promise not to tell Manda: this was a mediocre summer overall.”

“Glad I’m not the only one who feels that way.”

“Weren’t you and Manda going to take a trip together?”

“Yeah, but it kinda fell off the radar for both of us.”

“Maybe you can go in the autumn. That’s an even better time to be outside.”

“I do like autumn.”

“What’s your favorite part?”

“Sleeping with the window open ... And sweaters.”

“Really? I can’t keep a shirt on you during the summer.”

“It’s a comfort thing. I’m pretty ambivalent about pants this time of year, too.”

“I noticed,” she laughed.

“What time will you be home tomorrow?”

“The usual time. You wanna go do something when I get home?”

“If you’re not too tired,” he said, “yeah. Anything.”

“Speaking of, it’s close to bedtime.” He rolled over so she could cradle him while he nursed himself to sleep.

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Awww this was really sweet. A nice calm, almost a Norman Rockwell feel to the way everything tied up in a nice bow. Everybody is in an okay place, looking forward to what'ere the future brings. Really well done. Thank-you.  

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Chapter 95

 

“Thanks for inviting me to lunch,” Amanda said.

“Not at all. I’m doing it with all our new first years,” Professor Stern told her.

“That’s nice of you. Learn anything about the group?” Amanda was, unusually for her university, the only one who had attended as an undergrad and was now a first year in the grad program.

“It’s a good group. I think this is going to be one of our best cohorts. Diverse, got a couple men for once. Should be good. But what about you? How’d your summer go?”

Amanda pressed her lips into a frown and blinked several times as she thought of the best answer. This was, after all, supposed to be a cordial lunch between a professor and student, a senior and junior colleague. “Well, heh ...”

“That bad? Everything seemed fine the last time we saw each other. What happened?”

“Jamie had emergency surgery.”

“O no! Is he ...”

“Fine. Something called an appendix had to be removed.”

“That’s not such a big deal. He recovered okay?”

“Yeah. He was down for the count for a week, but he’s all healed up. Back to his healthy self.”

“That’s good to hear. Always scary when someone you love needs surgery.”

“Definitely,” Amanda said and sighed, thinking of how frightened she’d been. “Some other traumas this summer. I moved out; that’s hard for him.”

“Definitely a difficult transition. How are you feeling about it?”

She shrugged. “Neither here not there? He’s living with me a couple days a week and every other weekend. You might see him around campus more with me.”

“That’s unique. I don’t think we’ve ever had a student with their own little before. I mean, living with them and being their guardian. It can be a lot of work.”

“O, yeah,” Amanda agreed and chuckled. “And expensive. We’re getting by, though ... We share the bed. I didn’t realize just how early he goes to bed until I had to sneak into the room every time I’m ready to go to sleep.”

“How’s he doing with the change, exactly?”

“He’s mostly okay so far. I think he’s ... well, how would we feel? He’s always going to wish I didn’t have to move out. Can’t change that. We’re still adjusting ... We tried toilet training.”

“Really? I always assumed he wanted ...”

“You know? About humans and...”

“Yeah. I mean, it’s common sense.”

“How is it that no one else knows?”

“They don’t want to know. They like there littles to be as little as possible. And most of them are regressed, so it goes with the territory.”

“It’s still so ... weird! My mom doesn’t know. I even hinted at it.”

“So how did it go, the training?”

“He changed his mind. He doesn’t want to anymore.”

“Hmm. Well, that’s got to make things a little easier for the two of you, sort of.”

“Sort of. Overall, a lot to learn. Thought I knew most of it, but it’s harder to taking care of him on my own, and I’m not even really on my own.”

“Any help or advice anyone in the department can offer, they’d be glad to. They all wish they could get to know him.”

“I was thinking about that this summer.” She shook her head. “Won’t bore you with the details, but I ended up spending some times with several unregressed humans. Seven altogether a couple times. Thought how’d everyone would freak out to see them just interacting together.”

“Seven?” He was visibly surprised and jealous. “How did that come about?”

“Not in a good way. His partner is unregressed. Her birth family visited. Long story, and I don’t think I should tell it.”

“Hmm. Anything you can share?”

Amanda thought on it. There was a lot to share. She just didn’t know how to share it without giving away private information. 

“Well, their families can be as messy as ours. Don’t think most people appreciate how complicated their inner lives are ... Do you think there’s a difference between a human and a little?”

“Well,” the professor said sitting back in his seat, “all littles are humans, but not all humans are littles. Society doesn’t really see them that way, but that’s the truth of it. Something about the ones who want to be adopted makes them littles and something about being adopted makes humans them into, I don’t know what to call it, fully fledged littles. I think the causation goes in both direction. The ones who want to be adopted are different than the ones who don’t, and the differences grow the longer they have been adopted.”

“Jamie was asking about that, if I learned anything in class about that.”

“What’d you tell him?”

“That I thought he was always more like a little than he knew, and he hasn’t so much changed as learned how to express that part of himself. It worries him sometimes, but he gets over it.”

“Yours is a interesting take on it. Being honest, I’ve never fully understood Jamie.”

“How so?”

“He’s a tiny amazon when I see him, but I don’t think that’s the case when you guys are alone.”

“He behaves like a tiny amazon around certain people, and that’s who he is, but he switches back and forth in the space of a sentence. It’s not exactly an affectation when he’s being more like a traditional little. Well, sometimes he does it on purpose, but like I told him, he both at the same time. That’s just Jamie ... Some days he has no interest in being anything but a little. He gets bored with it eventually, though. He needs to talk to amazons or his partner or else he starts to get stir crazy. Really the most obvious thing is how much affection he needs to be happy.  If it weren’t for that, it would be a lot less obvious the ways he’s a little. Come over sometime and watch him crawl into my lap and fall asleep on my chest right after discussing career advice or study strategies.”

“Interesting. He’s a lot more mature than most of our undergrads. But then, he’s almost twice their age.”

“And has a lot more life experience. Everyone thinks littles are sheltered. If he had been sheltered, he’d still be there.”

“I’d like to go there some day,” Stern said.

“A lot easier to be small in a big world than the other way around.”

“I just wanna see it. You know, the diversity of it.”

“Can I ask something,” Amanda asked.

“Shoot.”

“Almost everyone in the department has a little except you.”

Now Stern pressed his lips into a frown and blinked once. “I had one. Apinya. She was a medical little.”

“She was sick?”

“Mhmm. She came for the medical care. We actually talked to her beforehand, too. We knew she wouldn’t ... It wouldn’t be forever. She just wanted a few more years and wanted to be regressed so she...” He paused and shook his head once to the left as though shaking away a memory. “So she wouldn’t realize what was happening to her.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“We gave her what she wanted. A few more good years. I’ve thought about doing it again, another medical little. It’s rewarding, but, well, it’s also the worst thing that’s ever happened to us.”

Amanda saw him differently than she had a moment before. She knew about medical littles and that some people took them in specifically to do what he had done, to give them a happy few years before whatever was ailing them went beyond even what their doctors could fix. She just didn’t know anybody who’d done it. She couldn’t fathom it. Every time Mel has told her how impressed she was taking in Jamie with his special needs or even what Stacy has done taking in a little, she reminded herself of people who adopted terminal littles.

“I’m sorry I brought it up,” she apologized.

He reached over and patted her hand. “It’s alright ...” He didn’t know what to say beyond that after he sat back in his seat. He fished for a topic and came up with, “So Jamie has a partner?”

“Yeah. Another unregressed human. Like him in some ways, but very different. Sort of an opposites attract situation.”

“How’d she get here?”

“Rescue.”

“O...”

“She’s been in Itali now for twelve years. She’s adjusted. She chose to stay. She really helped Jamie figure things out, and she grounds him a little.”

“That’s what our partners are for: love us and remind us we’re not the center of the universe.”

“She’s pretty good at reminding him of that. She’s not the type to put up with bullshit.” 

“I’ll keep that knowledge to myself. Two unregressed humans connected to the department, in a relationship. Chalmers will go nuts.”

“Jamie gets awfully fed up with that. He doesn’t like being a specimen. He likes you because you don’t do that.”

“He’s a person, just like all of us. If you’re here, where’s he today?”

“Neighbor is watching him. Mom went back to work.”

“Us, too, soon. You all set with your courses?”

“Yep. Bought my books; now I’m broke. Professor Angeli hasn’t told us what our assistantships are yet.”

“That’s because she’s disorganized, but don’t tell anyone. You want me to put in a good word for you?”

“I wouldn’t mind.”

“Do you want to be a teaching assistant or research assistant for the year?”

“Any insight into what would work better for a part-time single mom?”

“Research, but depends on the professor. I’ll say something to Angeli, make sure took don’t get stuck Chalmers or Suruucki. They have a reputation when it comes to RAs ... Come to think of it, that’s my piece of advice for you. You’re an assistant, and you get paid to work half time and not more. Don’t let them push you beyond that.”

“Kinda dangerous since they weigh in on your future in the department.” It was widely known that graduate assistants were all forced to overwork if they wanted good recommendations or even just to keep their jobs and funding.

“You don’t have to worry about that. I’ll make sure that’s not an issue for you, and you have Jamie.”

“What’s he got to do with it?”

“Anyone who wants to research humans has to go out of their way to find an unregressed one and get the grant money for it. One lives with you. If you want to stay in academia, you can do research almost no one else can. It’s like an astronomy student having their own observatory.”

“He’ll murder me in my sleep if I start studying him. And I don’t want to.”

“Doesn’t matter. You can study anything and still have a leg up just because you have better insight into the human condition.”

“Hmm. That’s not why I got admitted, is it?”

“Course not. Admissions are blind. Well, to the extent it can be when you went here as an undergrad. We just pretend we can’t tell who it is from the transcripts and writing samples.”

“I do think I’ll bring him around more now that I have an office, even if I am sharing it . Provided everyone can not freak out around him.”

“People will calm down.”

“You hear any more gossip about him?”

“I heard he got in trouble at a picnic you threw.”

“He did not,” Amanda retorted. “I even said so. He got mad because someone was taking notes about him, and he told her to knock it off. I just took him inside to get away for a minute. Everyone just assumed he was in trouble because they thinks littles should never raise their voice to bigs.” Amanda didn’t like him raising his voice, but she didn’t get cross with him for it unless he became rude. Mostly, he sat back and let her get angry on his behalf.

“We try to get them past that in the intro course, that cultural thing. Who was it that was taking notes?”

“Sorry. Not ratting on my cohort. At least not yet.”

“Well, Jamie is welcome around the department whenever. He’ll get a lot of attention, but people will get used to it. People bring their littles sometimes; it’s just that they’re regressed.”

“I’ll give it a bit and get to know people, see how much they ask about him. I hope people don’t think I’m an expert.”

“They may, but they’ll get past that. Just because you onto the one doesn’t mean you know the species, like Jamie says. Not like every parent is an expert on children.”

“I hope I don’t ever come off like I think I’m an expert.”

“Maybe a bit, if I’m being honest, but I think that’s mostly other people’s misperception. You’re an expert on Jamie, and you’re an expert compared to people who think the little they grew up with is the same as humans.”

“Feel free too tell me to knock that off when I do that. I don’t want to alienate the people I have to spend the next few years with.”

“Just focus on your studies. You’re here to learn. And some of them won’t be around forever. Inevitable. Some won’t make it, but most will just figure out they don’t like it. It’s not for everyone.”

“I’m still not certain about it. Academia or something more as a practitioner. Not even sure what I want to specialize in yet.”

“That’s why we make you take the survey courses. Everyone figures it out. Some of them don’t figure it out until ten years after the graduate, but it happens.”

“Part of growing up.”

“You’re gonna be fine. I know how hard you study and how smart you are. You have any trouble balancing your studies with your assistantship with Jamie, just tell us.”

“Guess I have a plethora of littlesitters now. Ya know Jamie studies us, right?”

He laughed. “What do you mean?”

“He pretends to be regressed when he meets new people to see what they’re like when they think he doesn’t understand them.”

“That’s hilarious. Definitely bring him here more often. I’d loved to learn what he learns, even if everyone knows he’s unregressed.”

“I’m sure I will.”

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:)  Hmm this episode needs more bears *calls Bear Force 9 to fill up the complete  lack of bears in the episode, retroactively, until it's bulging at the seams with bears*

Edited by Sarah Penguin
bears!
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Oh I'm liking where this is going... to have academia studied from the perspective of the studied... could bring on an entire new perspective.  Maybe a new graduate field... after all, it should drive academics nuts not knowing something about themselves like the why of their attitudes towards littles... especially on the other islands

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  • Alex Bridges changed the title to Done Adulting, Vol. 2 (Final chapter posted 12/21/20)

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