Public Bathrooms

[Penry]

I have some questions to ask:

Your out in public and need to change your diaper, the public restroom is the only place available. How do you deal with the noise that your diaper makes when taking it off and putting a new one on? Do you wait a few minutes before changing in the stall hoping that the restroom will clear out? Or are you a confident and secure individual who will go ahead and change your diaper regardless of the sound it makes and then walk out of the restroom with your head held high?

 

Penry

[Stroller]

I usually just do it.  The velcro on some washables makes even more noise!  OK, if it's a quiet one, I do sometime wait until there's nobody next door, but I don't worry too much about it really.  The more you do it, the less you worry.

[GhostGirl]

44 minutes ago, Penry said:

I have some questions to ask:

Your out in public and need to change your diaper, the public restroom is the only place available. How do you deal with the noise that your diaper makes when taking it off and putting a new one on? Do you wait a few minutes before changing in the stall hoping that the restroom will clear out? Or are you a confident and secure individual who will go ahead and change your diaper regardless of the sound it makes and then walk out of the restroom with your head held high?

 

Penry

Well, when I am out in public, I am wearing a Tena pantie liner, or these:

http://www.tena.us/women-protective-underwear-superplus-absorbency/5480054900,en_US,pd.html

Or

http://www.tena.us/protective-underwear-extra-absorbency/7213172231,en_US,pd.html

If I am worried about not being able to get to a bathroom.

Then again, I am actively trying to maintain the continence I have left, so how I handle my public habits is probably different then what you are doing. But with the above, I don't tend to have a changing in public issue, as it is normally just drop, take off, roll up and stick in a sealing plastic baggy and I carry around, then grab my extra, slide it on and done. Dispose in trash can on the way out.

[willnotwill]

Mostly now, I don't care.   I rip off the tapes and fold the diaper up and set it down while I work on getting my new one on.   I almost always am holding it rolled up in my hand heading to the trash can.   This was only bad in one of the local stores (Target, I think) that had no trashcans anywhere in the men's room.

[rusty pins]

In the past when I have needed to change my diaper in a public restroom, I waited until I was the only one in the restroom and did it as quickly and quietly as I could.  One time in a McDonald restroom there was a guy in the restroom, so I went into the handicap stall and waited until I heard the door open and him walk out.  I quickly ripped of my wet diaper and taped on the dry one.  When I walked out the stall with the rolled up diaper in my hand, imagine my surprise to see a different younger guy standing there grinning at me!  He must have walked in as the other guy was walking out!  What could I do?  I just gave a slight nod, tossed my diaper in the trash, washed my hands and got the hell out of that McDonald's as fast as I could!

These days I only go out in public diapered a few times a year, like Christmas shopping.  I know the CVS, Gordon Foods and Harbor Freight in the area all have one at a time restrooms with an outer lock on the door.  In winter I can slip a fresh diaper up my heavy coat sleeve under my armpit and walk in the store without anyone knowing I'm bringing in a diaper to change.  With the lock on the outer door, I have privacy and can take my time without anyone knowing I'm changing my diaper.  In summer it's harder because how can you carry in a clean diaper into a store restroom discreetly without anyone knowing?  No coat to hide it in!  I may look bulkier, but in summer if I'll be gone that long I will double diaper before leaving the house.  Then when I get so wet I need to change, I can go to a restroom with an outer door lock, pull down my outer diaper, remove the wet inner diaper, pull up the dry outer diaper and I'm good to go.  No wondering how I'm going to take a dry diaper into a store restroom when I have to change.

[Newbee]

I only wear pull up out of the house so I don’t really have a noise problem

[dlnoir]

In general i just go about my business if my diaper needs changing I'll just change it. if you take it slow undoing the tapes no one will notice

[mick_dl]

Normaly  don’t care ether. Mostly I use a small plastic bag where I can put the used diaper in so that I can bring it  inconspicuous to the next trash can.

[Penry]

Everyone , thank you very much for giving me your input! I really appreciate it!

Penry

[willnotwill]

One of the fast food places near my office actually had a diaper genie in the stall.    I guess there was a changing table (one of those flipdown ones) as it did have baby diapers in it already.   I shoved my own in there.

 

[Bettypooh]

To achieve quietness, slipping the used diaper down is quieter than untaping it but more hassle. And based on the stall, it may be a worse option. If you must untape quietly, ladies can have a small pair of scissors in their handbag to cut them and guys can do similarly with a pocketknife. Almost no noise this way. Me, I no longer worry much about the noise. Most people are too absorbed in their own little world to notice as long as you are trying to be quiet and it's not their business anyway should they hear you. So yeah, I had to change my diaper, so what? EFF them and whatever they think of me. People like them have no place and no value in my life.

Bettypooh

[Stroller]

25 minutes ago, Bettypooh said:

To achieve quietness, slipping the used diaper down is quieter than untaping it but more hassle. And based on the stall, it may be a worse option. If you must untape quietly, ladies can have a small pair of scissors in their handbag to cut them and guys can do similarly with a pocketknife. Almost no noise this way. Me, I no longer worry much about the noise. Most people are too absorbed in their own little world to notice as long as you are trying to be quiet and it's not their business anyway should they hear you. So yeah, I had to change my diaper, so what? EFF them and whatever they think of me. People like them have no place and no value in my life.

Bettypooh

It's worth practising undoing the tabs quietly as well.  You can often undo them very quietly if you peel them right back slowly rather than pulling them outwards.

[Nia]

I’ve been incon so long that I’ve stopped worrying about it. Most people have enough in their lives to deal with that they aren’t going to care or remember some one changing a diaper. 

The only difference would be if you walked out going to the garbage with a printed diaper in hand. 

[Angela Bauer]

I am urinary incontinent, so I never worry about noise changing in public ladies rooms. Since 2014 I have worn GoodNites Tru-Fit which slide down to either use a toilet or to change a disposable liner, which makes no noise. Years ago I wore Attends and did not worry about the sound of the sticky tapes. That is different from the sound of tabs/tapes on baby diapers, so the only folks who would recognize the sound are themselves incontinent.

[Rob110]

I no longer worry about changing in public or if there are other people in the bathroom its not worth the stress level. I use hockey tape to re enforce my diaper (works better then duct tape) as its smaller and easier to apply. No one has said anything or even showen a reaction when I exit the stall Adult diapers are more common then you may think.  

 

[Diaperedrider]

I have just started packing a diaper bag which is basically a Planet Fitness workout bag and I leave it in the car. I have wipes, pullups, diapers, plastic bags and a spare pair of pants. I cannot believe that I have not done this sooner because there have been times that I have been out and about and get a phone call from a friend spontaneously inviting me over and I pass because I am in a wet or messy diaper. Now all I have to do is go somewhere and change and not alienate myself. The reason this is so awesome for me is because I moved about 30 minutes away from my friends and family about 4 years ago. 

[Penry]

Thank you very much for your replies! Your posts have helped me tremendously! Thank you!

As of this year, I am slowly losing my urinary continence due to MS but at the same time I am and have been a Diaper Lover for almost my entire life. I posted my questions to you all because I am slowly becoming urinary incontinent and I am not entirely sure of myself (confidence wise) as to the looks and maybe comments I might receive after changing my diaper in public restrooms. It appears from all of your posts that you have not really had any verbal comments made to you after exiting the stall in the bathroom. This in itself makes me feel better and more confident.

As of right now, I wear night time disposable diapers (Abena L4's) all the time along with a booster and plastic pants due to the volume of urine I expel. If I don't, then everyone around me knows immediately that I am soiling my pants or shorts. When it is time for me to change (at home), when I remove the tapes they can be loud at times and I am not confident enough to change in the public restrooms. 

 

Penry

Penry

[Rob110]

Penry

The more you change in public the faster you confidence will grow, we all started out worrying about what people around us may think or say but the reality is most people especially guys tend ignore whats happing around us in the bathroom. Self confidence will come ws you start to realize no one is paying attention to sounds or even when you walk out of the stall carrying a rolled up diaper for disposal. Try changing when you are out more often even if your diaper is not saturated you will get to the point you can change any where any time even when out with friends who do not know your dealing with incontinence issues. 

 

 

[Bettypooh]

The confidence comes with time. I do try to be aware of my condition and of what the restroom situation is (or probably is) then try to 'time' my change when conditions are best. But sometimes you have little choice, so you go with it regardless. I do my very best to avoid public restroom changes if a better alternative exists. That still leaves me changing in a public restroom several times a year, and once or twice a year someone will see me dump my used diaper in the trash can, but so far nobody has said a thing. I have a few planned responses if they do, and having thought that through makes it easier. Just wash and dry your hands as usual after dumping the diaper then walk out as if everything is normal, because for you and me and folks like us it IS normal. 

It's just the usual "guy-type BS" where if you seem nervous or vulnerable then some asshat is going to open their fat worthless mouth making a problem out of nothing. Don't give them an opening and they usually have enough brains to keep their mouth closed so your fist can't go in there. Ladies have different issues to deal with in public restrooms and will need different responses, but I'll save my thoughts on that until they're needed. 

The last two times I had to change in public was because I was unwell and had pooped myself driving to work. Knowing that at that early hour the McDonalds store wouldn't be busy, and knowing that they all have trash cans by company policy, plus with that one having a door at that end of the store away from the counter made things easy. My spare "car diapers" are in doubled plastic shopping bags, so the used one goes in there adding a layer of discretion. Be observant and you'll learn the "tricks of the trade" and know ahead of time what to expect and what to avoid if you can. That will go miles in helping you gain confidence in dealing with this. Until then, act confident anyway as half the people can't tell that it's a bluff and you get the win by default.

Bettypooh

 

[rusty pins]

I think it's normal for people who are in diapers to not necessarily want others to know when they have to change in a restroom.  It can be embarrassing for them if they are not used to it or are somewhat new to wearing diapers.  The old hat incontinent people are probably a lot more confident or have that "I don't care" attitude about it because most of their family and friends are already aware they wear diapers and they are so used to it out of shear necessity of always having to change their diapers 24/7/365 when they need to.  I'm sure they too were kind of reluctant to change in public restrooms when the need first started for them but eventually they got so tired of trying to make sure no one was around and  being quiet and discreet about it that eventually they just say, "Screw it!" and they just do it!

Me, I am an occasional diaper wearer at home a couple mornings a week and 3 or 4 times I year I may go out of town diapered for the day running errands or shopping.  I'm at the point still where I don't want people in a restroom to know I'm in the stall changing my diaper.  That's why I go to places that have restrooms with outer locking doors.  It's different for me if I'm in a store out of town and a little diaper shows out the back of my jeans if I have to bend down for something on a lower shelf.  I try and be discreet at all times but I know sometimes my shirt does ride up in the back.  I'm not bothered if a stranger I'll probably never see again might notice a little diaper showing out the back of my jeans.  It's really no worse than the waistband of someone's BVD's and a whole lot better than seeing someone's butt crack!  That said, I'm still not ready to change diapers again in a public restroom where other people might be there and hear what I'm doing.  Also, it's one thing if someone should see a little diaper showing out the back of my jeans when I bend down and something else to walk out of the stall with a wet diaper to toss in the trash can, even if it is bagged up.

All that said, some people have brought up very interesting thoughts.  There will be some low life creeps who might say something or make a snide comment.  Those are the people who would say things about anyone with an ailment, such as making fun of people with Downs syndrome, laughing at the old man walking stiffly with a cane or complain about having to wait for the senior citizen who is moving slowly.  For the most part, anyone with any type of education or I.Q. will most likely not say anything and pretend not to even notice that you had obviously just changed your diaper when in a restroom, even if they might glance at you to see if they can notice anything out of curiosity.  Probably the only ones that would show any resl interest at all are other AB or DL's who wear themselves, kind of like some of the forum posts here where members have asked if you have ever noticed any people in public who were wearing diapers under their clothes. 

[GhostGirl]

2 hours ago, rusty pins said:

I think it's normal for people who are in diapers to not necessarily want others to know when they have to change in a restroom.  It can be embarrassing for them if they are not used to it or are somewhat new to wearing diapers.  The old hat incontinent people are probably a lot more confident or have that "I don't care" attitude about it because most of their family and friends are already aware they wear diapers and they are so used to it out of shear necessity of always having to change their diapers 24/7/365 when they need to.  I'm sure they too were kind of reluctant to change in public restrooms when the need first started for them but eventually they got so tired of trying to make sure no one was around and  being quiet and discreet about it that eventually they just say, "Screw it!" and they just do it!

Me, I am an occasional diaper wearer at home a couple mornings a week and 3 or 4 times I year I may go out of town diapered for the day running errands or shopping.  I'm at the point still where I don't want people in a restroom to know I'm in the stall changing my diaper.  That's why I go to places that have restrooms with outer locking doors.  It's different for me if I'm in a store out of town and a little diaper shows out the back of my jeans if I have to bend down for something on a lower shelf.  I try and be discreet at all times but I know sometimes my shirt does ride up in the back.  I'm not bothered if a stranger I'll probably never see again might notice a little diaper showing out the back of my jeans.  It's really no worse than the waistband of someone's BVD's and a whole lot better than seeing someone's butt crack!  That said, I'm still not ready to change diapers again in a public restroom where other people might be there and hear what I'm doing.  Also, it's one thing if someone should see a little diaper showing out the back of my jeans when I bend down and something else to walk out of the stall with a wet diaper to toss in the trash can, even if it is bagged up.

All that said, some people have brought up very interesting thoughts.  There will be some low life creeps who might say something or make a snide comment.  Those are the people who would say things about anyone with an ailment, such as making fun of people with Downs syndrome, laughing at the old man walking stiffly with a cane or complain about having to wait for the senior citizen who is moving slowly.  For the most part, anyone with any type of education or I.Q. will most likely not say anything and pretend not to even notice that you had obviously just changed your diaper when in a restroom, even if they might glance at you to see if they can notice anything out of curiosity.  Probably the only ones that would show any resl interest at all are other AB or DL's who wear themselves, kind of like some of the forum posts here where members have asked if you have ever noticed any people in public who were wearing diapers under their clothes. 

From just my experience, and those who have expressed stuff in my support group meetings... incontinent people are usually more at ease with it because we don't tend to use the ABDL style diapers day to day, nor do we default to "heavy" or thick. I know my first task was to find the least absorbent, IE cheapest, thinnest, and most likely to be a pull up, that met my needs reliably.

But, that is the difference between need and choose. (Yes some who choose also do need... I was almost in that group.) When you need, you tend to find ways to ensure it has as minimum of an impact on your life as you can. If you make the choice, you are probably not after the looks like underwear, moderate absorbency briefs for everyday wear.

For the first week or so, I wore the larger diapers, because I was and still am a DL, and was like, "Yeah, excuse to do diapers!" but they got in the way to much of my desired social life, ease of changing in public, etc.. my confidence took a hit, I was getting weary of going to the gym, something I love, so I made the choice to go into management mode instead of "love it" mode, and saved that stuff for weekends and evenings when I just was going to relax and do nuttin.

The nice thing about this road is that public changes are easy peasy, no tapes etc. just slide off and slide new one on after wiping, cleaning, and applying barrier. Everything fits in my purse except my change, which has a bus riding, non-driving University student Gym Rat, I always have a satchel or gym bag with me... so the change is normally in there.

 

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

I am becoming diaper dependant by choice and it certainly did take awhile being comfortable changing a diaper in  a public restroom.  At first and for reasons I really can not explain I found myself sometimes completely fine with changing my diapers in public yet other times I was completely embarrassed about doing so.

On days I was embarrassed I generally would wait for the bathroom to be empty.  This became a big burden as I travel all the time and how long are public restrooms in an airport empty?  I found my self spending to much time in the potty and it stressed me out.  In the beginning I would simply rip my diapers on the side by hand with no noise.  This made it hard to wrap my used diaper up so I started ripping one side and SLOWLY peeling my tapes off the other side of my diaper.

Eventually over time I became more and more confident and now I rip the tapes of my diaper and can care less who hears.  I also walk out with my diaper in hand and dispose of it.  It gets easier with time I promise.

[Diaperedrider]

1 hour ago, GhostGirl said:

From just my experience, and those who have expressed stuff in my support group meetings... incontinent people are usually more at ease with it because we don't tend to use the ABDL style diapers day to day, nor do we default to "heavy" or thick. I know my first task was to find the least absorbent, IE cheapest, thinnest, and most likely to be a pull up, that met my needs reliably.

But, that is the difference between need and choose. (Yes some who choose also do need... I was almost in that group.) When you need, you tend to find ways to ensure it has as minimum of an impact on your life as you can. If you make the choice, you are probably not after the looks like underwear, moderate absorbency briefs for everyday wear.

For the first week or so, I wore the larger diapers, because I was and still am a DL, and was like, "Yeah, excuse to do diapers!" but they got in the way to much of my desired social life, ease of changing in public, etc.. my confidence took a hit, I was getting weary of going to the gym, something I love, so I made the choice to go into management mode instead of "love it" mode, and saved that stuff for weekends and evenings when I just was going to relax and do nuttin.

The nice thing about this road is that public changes are easy peasy, no tapes etc. just slide off and slide new one on after wiping, cleaning, and applying barrier. Everything fits in my purse except my change, which has a bus riding, non-driving University student Gym Rat, I always have a satchel or gym bag with me... so the change is normally in there.

 

Ghost girl I am curious if you don’t mind me asking...you mentioned a support group. Is it an incontinence support group? If so is it an online one or offline like at a hospital or something? 

The reason I am asking is I have always wondered if such groups have existed before the internet because years ago back in the late 80’s  I was outside at the exit of a hospital when my good friend had his first baby and while we were talking, 2 girls around our age at the time (mid 20’s) came out talking and as they past, one of them had a wet pattern coming down from her waist in the back like you do when you are wearing plastic pants and your diaper is soaked and leaked past the waistband when you were seated. She did not seem at all concerned either so I wondered if they just finished up with some type of support group.

[GhostGirl]

3 hours ago, Diaperedrider said:

Ghost girl I am curious if you don’t mind me asking...you mentioned a support group. Is it an incontinence support group? If so is it an online one or offline like at a hospital or something? 

The reason I am asking is I have always wondered if such groups have existed before the internet because years ago back in the late 80’s  I was outside at the exit of a hospital when my good friend had his first baby and while we were talking, 2 girls around our age at the time (mid 20’s) came out talking and as they past, one of them had a wet pattern coming down from her waist in the back like you do when you are wearing plastic pants and your diaper is soaked and leaked past the waistband when you were seated. She did not seem at all concerned either so I wondered if they just finished up with some type of support group.

I was referred to it by my DO to help ease into it and deal with the problems that come up. There is a lot of good advice on sites like this, but the problem is if you are not a rah rah rah diaper time person, this page has far more bad advice than good (Simply because asking for advice on how to minimize diaper use and need on this site is kind of anathema to why most people are here.) and online incontinence groups get trolled hard... so in person is the way to go.

[babykeiff]

Everyone,

when wearing and using diapers, one must have confidence, in self and in the product. Unless one is openly wearing baby-like attire and extremely thick, bulky diapers etc, diapers are not noticable on a person. This is due to a few reasons

1. Without a reference of how big/small your butt is without a diaper, there is no point to compare.

2. Adult sized disposable diapers (normally called slips etc or anything else so not to associate them as a diaper) are designed to be as discrete as possible. This actually works - it is very difficult to near impossible without close investigation to tell if a person is wearing protection.

3. People assume that only babies / elderly would wear a diaper - as a result, they don't look and/or notice anything different.

4. People are too wrapped in their own little problems to even care and/or notice what is in front of them.

Considering all the above, changing in a public stall and the noise of tape tearing open and plastic rustling is only noticed by the person who is changing the diaper, and not by others. Also, if they do hear it and associate it to a diaper, you are usually not the only person in a public bathroom who is carrying a bag. If you are really worried, what others have stated - ie use a small sissors to cut the tape will allow you to remove the diaper without the noise of the tape tearing. Using wipes and placing used wipes in the used diaper will avoid you having to flush numerous times. Placing the used diaper in 2-3 baby diaper bags (they are normally pink and are fragranced) so they will hide the smell of a soiled diaper. Also, at that size, they will be easier to dispose of in a toilet bin, nobody will be able to tell if it is a baby or an adult diaper. Don't wory if your diaper has infantile prints on it, not unless one tears open the bag, will they be able to identify the type of diaper it is - which is highly unlikely.

Also, preperation is the key :- with the new diaper, before it is packed in your diaper bag, open it up fully at home (so you don't have to make the noise shaking it out in a public bathroom). In the centre, place 2-3 bags for the soiled diaper with a 1/3-1/4 pack of wipes and a pair of plastic pants (if you wish). In a pocket of your 'diaper' bag, keep your cream and sissors. Then, fold up the diaper (including its contents) into the size that will fit your 'diaper' bag. As a result, you are as prepared for diaper changes as you can with everything to hand where you can do this with the least fuss and noise.

If you are still worried about noise, when what you think is going to make noise, you can grunt. After all, non diaper wearers grunt to force out stool while in a bathroom stall, so a grunt is not that all unusual.

Do not worry about the noise, most people are too focused on their own little lives and on getting in and out of a bathroom (they don't like the place either) to notice and/or recognise you.