Bad Jokes

[rusty pins]

On 8/21/2019 at 3:34 AM, Firefly 35 said:

Have you seen the donkey that always walks across the freeway?  What an ass.

I said that about the cute 20 year old girl in her tight jeans!

[Apache Raccoon]

I have a friend who’s an alcoholic; I felt I should help him deal with his drinking problem so I took him on a swimming trip up the river in Egypt as I figured this would be the perfect place for him to at least admit he had a problem.

It didn’t go so well though because he was in Da-Nile

 

  

[feralfreak]

Hillbilly wife :"why ddont chu git sum dim pills dat make yu horny?"

Hillbilly husband :"yu mean yu want dim diet pills?"

She goes on trial for murder Monday 

[Firefly 35]

How do you know if your diapers are crappy?  

It depends.

[rusty pins]

Did you hear about the farmer?  He won an award for being "outstanding in his field"

[rusty pins]

What kind of tractor needs a diaper change?  'Messey' Ferguson!

[Firefly 35]

Why do they call it black Friday?

Be on Lookout for Assholes Cheaters & Knockoffs

Why do they call it Cyber Monday?

Card has Yet to Buy at Every Retailer

[dlsafrica]

On 9/26/2019 at 12:59 PM, rusty pins said:

Did you hear about the farmer?  He won an award for being "outstanding in his field"

That's outstanding

[Lil'PinkDi-dee]

What is the one thing that a wife can say to her husband that will make the parakeet extremely nervous?

Honey, I don't think Fluffy has enough cat food to last until payday.

[Apache Raccoon]

Rick Astley is happy to give anyone DVDs from his Disney Pixar collection

Apart from one, he's never gonna give you Up.

 

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Did the Jolly Green Giant enter the Diaper Dimension?

 

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

"What do you think of King Oedipus?"

"Oh! THAT motherfucker!!"

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Have you ever been interrogated by the KGB in a diaper? Now THAT gives you a REAL Russia. I am not Putin you on!

How about flying an airship in a diaper? THAT is a gas!

Studied Philosophy in a diaper. It was a class in E-PISS-temology

Went to a STAR WARS movie in a diaper and rubber pantiesw: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

[dlsafrica]

The accused write a confession in yellow to get a lighter sentence 

[BabyJune]

Two guys are walking down the street. One guy walks into a bar. The other guy ducks down.

[le Hollandais]

A rabbi, a priest, and a lawyer walk into a bar. The barkeeper asks "What is this, some kind of joke?"

[rusty pins]

A rabbi, priest and baptist minister all go fishing in a boat on a small lake.  After about an hour, the priest says, "I think I might have left the lights on in the car.  I'll go check".  With that he steps out of the boat, walks across the water to the shore.  A few minutes later he walks back across the water and steps into the boat.  The rabbi us speechless!

After another hour, the minister says, "I need to use the outhouse.  I'll be right back" and he too steps out of the boat, walks across the water back to the landing and uses the outhouse.  Pretty soon he walks back across the water and climbs back into the boat.

Now, the rabbi is totally confounded at the Godly powers of the Christians, but he thinks his religion is just as powerful so he says, "We forgot the lunch!  I'll go back to the car and get it"!  He steps out of the boat and promptly sinks to the bottom.  The minister turns to the priest and says, "You think we should have told him where the rocks are?"

[dlsafrica]

The accused wrote a confession in yellow to get a lighter sentence 

[rusty pins]

On 1/16/2020 at 11:08 PM, dlsafrica said:

The accused write a confession in yellow to get a lighter sentence 

 

17 hours ago, dlsafrica said:

The accused wrote a confession in yellow to get a lighter sentence 

Is the bad joke here supposed to be that you posted the same joke twice on two different days?

[dyperbole]

My neighbor speaks to her cat as if it could understand her.  I told my dog and we both had a laugh over it.

 

I asked my horse if animals could understand human language and it said neigh.

[Firefly 35]

If a shopping cart rolls into a parked car, is that an accident a la carte?

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

No; it is Stop & Pop!

[Andrew54]

Boris Johnson


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

”.



“
Don’t you love invisible ink.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[rusty pins]

On 1/18/2020 at 7:21 PM, dyperbole said:

My neighbor speaks to her cat as if it could understand her.  I told my dog and we both had a laugh over it.

 

I asked my horse if animals could understand human language and it said neigh.

I asked my pony too, but he couldn't answer me because he was a little horse (and his name is not "Mr. Ed")

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

I see we are going to be saddled with horse jokes. Oy Rogers that! Makes me want to get my Peacemaker out, put the barrel in my mouth and pull the Trigger