Boyfriend apparently really in to diapers. Help?

[kinktheshrink]

For a bit of background, I have an amazing boyfriend who is seriously the best thing to ever happen to me... Most people think he has "no emotions" and he comes off very masculine. I mean, I want to keep some anonymity here so just imagine a tattooed lumberjack looking fellow who carries a gun for a living and knows too much about whiskey, okay?

Anyway, I've never felt emotionally disconnected from him like our friends and family say they feel, but I have

felt he was omitting something...

Well, last night after showing more emotions in 20minutes than he's shown in the past 20 days, he told me he's in to diapers.

I'm not upset, I love him and I'd do whatever he wanted as long as he loves and respects me... but confused is an understatement right now. I didn't get mad at him or anything, but I did kinda make light of it and giggle out of pure nervousness (he understood). But he was pretty bad at explaining what exactly he wants from me. I asked for a description of the logistics but all I got was, "I'm not in to the poop thing."

Anyway, I literally have no idea how to start this conversation. I feel like I need to because he made such a leap bringing it up to me. What do I ask? is there something I can read that doesn't use "mommy" and "daddy"? that is too much for me...

Thanks

[IncontinentGM24]

I think the key here is to just support him.

Unfortunately for most diaper lovers, there is a lot of shame attached to diaper wearing. Before you do anything to try and get to the fetish side for him you should probably understand that it takes a lot to admit a liking for diapers. I'm sure I'm not telling you anything new there.

I would guess he wouldn't want you to do anything that would make you uncomfortable, so don't be afraid to set boundaries when you're learning what he likes. This will probably take at least one more uncomfortable chat. I think the most important thing for you though, is to stay supportive.

Cheers.

[Rockies Fan in Diapers]

Hi there, first of all I applaud your willingness to seek out help & understanding & to be honest, this community is a great place to do it. I would guess that your boyfriend is still coming to terms with exactly who he is, in terms of this lifestyle. Or it could be that he knows, but he just can't explain it to you yet. May I suggest the site www.understandinginfantilism.org

[WakkoWannaBe]

Everything already posted is fantastic, so I just thought I'd dedicate this sentence to stressing that fact =D.

[Bettypooh]

Welcome to DD The above is all good, you'd be surprised at the diversity of the people into this and the variety of their interests. For most, this is a small but important part of themselves and if handled well can help bond a relationship very well Take this slow with him and look into the aspect of this that interests him together- chances are that he has already checked out places online he might want to share. For a lot of us this is a special stress reliever unlike any other; nobody has quite figured out why it works that way but sometimes it does Someone I know has a job in LE and crossdresses along with doing some BSDM stuff to accomplish the same thing. They told me that after having all their work dumped on them that it was nice for someone else to take charge occasionally so they could fully relax- something they couldn't get in life any other way. And we've got a few folks with similar jobs hare too Go slow, be discreet, explore this together, and be glad you've got someone who trusts you so much that they will share their deepest secret with you- which also says a lot about you

[dprby162]

Yea. I pretty much need to second everything that's already been said. The most important thing is that he knows you love him and telling you didn't change that. I told one girlfriend once about my diaper fetish and we were broken up within 2 months. I loved her very much and would have done just about anything to keep her in my life. If it turned out to be something she wasn't comfortable with, I wish she would have just said that and allowed us to go back to me keeping it to myself. So, if it turns out to be something you find uncomfortable, but still want to be with him, just be honest.

[Repaid1]

I guess before you go further , you

[BigC300]

He is thrilled with "diapers" ! You think, my God I graduated out of those stinky wet baby under garments early in my childhood. What possible fascination with this early childhood under garment could anyone have? Illiterate people start thinking, he's a pedophile. Wrong!

This fascination with diapers was imprinted in his brain way back when his Mom was diapering him. Somehow, in his mind, there is a sexual trigger that goes off at the mere sight of a diaper. It stimulates him sexually, his penis engorges with blood and becomes erect! It is likely that you have the same affect on him.

Generally speaking, these fetishist's are highly intelligent people. You could have picked a much lower caliber of person who smokes, snorts or constantly drinks alcoholic beverages!

What's not to like about clean diapers?

[BabyTara]

He is thrilled with "diapers" ! You think, my God I graduated out of those stinky wet baby under garments early in my childhood. What possible fascination with this early childhood under garment could anyone have? Illiterate people start thinking, he's a pedophile. Wrong!

This fascination with diapers was imprinted in his brain way back when his Mom was diapering him. Somehow, in his mind, there is a sexual trigger that goes off at the mere sight of a diaper. It stimulates him sexually, his penis engorges with blood and becomes erect! It is likely that you have the same affect on him.

Generally speaking, these fetishist's are highly intelligent people. You could have picked a much lower caliber of person who smokes, snorts or constantly drinks alcoholic beverages!

What's not to like about clean diapers?

[BigC300]

That's true!

[kinktheshrink]

Thank you everyone it's strange to me just because I've really never heard of it before. I think I saw this stuff on taboo once, lol. I've been thinking about it a lot since our conversation and I actually love him more. I guess maybe because he's shown a real vulnerable side.

I know he's definitely in to it in a sexual way based on our conversation, he just wasn't very descriptive... I tried talking about it today but he was just like, "whatever." and went back to messing with his I phone update, lol.

maybe I should just wait for him to bring it up again? I just felt the need to bring it up because I was looking for something in our room and found a stash of diapers. kinda like a, "oh he was serious" moment.

[gah!ghost]

It's not a sexual thing for me so perhaps those who have that experience would be better suited to offer advice on this subject but from what I have observed, it seems that those who have it as a sexual fetish tend to suffer a bit more from the shame. The drive behind the activity is sexual so once that need is satisfied, the sexual one, all interest drops. After the high wears off, especially if you're ashamed of it, I think the subsequent crash and the shame about the fetish can be pretty bad.

[ldatsea]

If you accept him and he needs or wants something from you he will come to you in his time!

[BigC300]

Kinktheshrink,

I forgot to mention something in my earlier post. If you ever establish an intimate relationship with this person, you should put one of those diapers you found in his "stash" at the top of your list of sex toys. Actually, an excellent idea about "foreplay"! You don't really need to completely fasten it on him, just tease him with it! You will be sending him into orbit like he is strapped on the nose of a Saturn Five Moon Rocket!

[repetitivediaperwetter88]

it took me a while to get into the Gaa gaa goo goo or is it goo goo gaa gaa? AAAHH! I am up way past my bedtime! Anyway, I would On and off wear diapers, then I had an urge to see what it would be like to be an Ab, well, Not to scare you, but if he is an AB, don't be too surprised and scared. I think what he would want from you is acceptance. Accepting him for him. Me? Well, on the outside you would see a well built 24 year old who when pissed off can be pretty scary. You would never guess that under my clothes is a nice big soft diaper with lavender baby powder in it. Tells you, deep down inside a lot of guys like that, there is something there, a Big baby wanting so badly to come out and show himself. Of course I could be wrong, but, better safe than sorry.

[Bettypooh]

Do go at his speed with this, but if that's too slow just make certain that he knows that you are there for him when he wants to go further with this, and that this is not going to be a deal-breaker He will open up when he is ready to- this is certainly a tough thing to discuss coming from someone who is otherwise a 'tough guy' and he may not really understand it all himself. Some questions about this just don't have answers we can find, and even if they did appear it would not change the current outcome

[Honu]

KTS, Thanks for coming to DD to find out more about the man you love. If you can even imagine how poorly someone else could have reacted you would understand why he is so guarded and took so long to tell you. He calculated that you were accepting and nonjudgmental and was right! What I hope you have seen already is that this orientation comes in so many subtle variations that you will need to hear his fantasy to learn what this means to him. I wish you success with this relationship and hope that you feel comfortable here. Aloha, Honu

[Hondarider679]

From what I am getting out of this your boyfriend is exactly like me, just a big hard workin guy with a little bit of a wild side, it's just something that makes a sexual experience even better for us, I told my girlfriend about it a month after we got together and I can honestly say that we have the most loving and trusting relationship ever!! Just sit down sometime and talk to him and just let him know that he ain't alone, there are lots of guys like him, and always support him about it and your relationship will always be strong! Good luck!!