You Know What I Find Interesting

[Nat]

I find it so interesting how people on AB/DL forums don't care if you wear diapers full time as a parent and wear them out in public but go on Fetlife, people who are AB/DL are so critical about it. Even my last therapist didn't have a problem with it and she knew I wanted to have kids. Lot of people I know online don't seem to care about it and my parents don't seem to care either because they never say anything about it. I do keep it private from them but they still know about it because they have caught me changing and see them in the washer and dryer and in my closet and the smell in my room until I bought some air freshener.

Okay I am not going to lie, I have used sippy cups in front of my son because he hands it to me and I take a sip out of I and hand it back to him and I also do it to see if any is coming out.

[DailyDi]

You can't really hide anything from young children.

[drynot]

I don't have children but I wouldn't hesitate to wear diapers around them simply because its not a big deal IMO. I certainly wouldn't openly flaunt it and it would be a private matter but as long as you're not involving kids in your fantasies then there's no harm in it. Ladies can wear sexy lingerie under their day clothes and still be around kids. Guys could too if thats your thing

If diapers are sexual to you then you certainly won't be turned on by wearing them around your children. The kids will definitely preoccupy your thoughts and attention until you can get to your quiet place and the kids are in bed.....

[sweetandsensitiveguy]

to each his own i mean frankly if i had a kid i wouldnt wear in front unless you have a medical condition its really hard to explain why your wearing unless you want to lie to your kids and of course why you sucking on a pacifier and such would be odd plus when they get older i am sure they wouldnt want friends over or if they are mean try exposing you to others you have kepted it from

Just to much risk vs reward but i have no problem with what you do and yeah fetlife i am starting to hate 3 weeks new and people are jerks on there

[2sail2]

Maybe deep down inside people (us) really do not want this fetish to be normalized and accepted in public and with the general public?

I wonder if this fetish will grow (population) wise or does this cause it to be repressed? I know I would support someone else who wanted to start or try.

i just woke up, so need to think some more on this.

[Infernus]

Fetlife is full of judgemental ABDL Hypocrites.

It seems to be governed by a group of abdl girls with 100s of mindless male drones living off their every word.

Mess your diaper, and youll get called a discusting freak by these 'so called' ABDLs.

I think they just do it for the attention of the guys, i guess it can be pretty intoxicating when you go from an everyday regular female to some sexual goddess via the internet when you slip into a diaper.

It gets pretty cliquey in some of the bigger ABDL groups, suffering badly from above ^^ problems.

[gah!ghost]

I would caution against calling out females in any niche group for being "posers". I don't think it's good for anyone involved and keeps females from participating in those groups. I've seen it in "geek" culture for decades. It's gotten better in recent years but it's still there. I'm sure you can still find plenty of guys who hate Felicia Day for example.

[Infernus]

I hate to be that guy, but when its true i feel it needs to be called out, just because they are perhaps the ring leaders of said cliques doesnt mean to say the male drones are any less to blame.

Though it ONLY seems to be on Fetlife.

[Nat]

I just wonder why it only happens at Fetlife and people are more open minded here and at ADISC? You may still find some narrow minded people here and there. I have been told by a few people at adisc that me wearing around my parents was involving them in it and I think what I do under my clothes is my business. I am not fond of someone intentionally messing themselves out in public and staying that way because I find it rude and disrespectful. Unless they did it in the streets or parking lot or in their car and were going home, I am fine with that. If they did it on the road and then stopped at a rest area I am fine with that. if it doesn't smell when they do it, no problem. They make pills to hide the odor but they are expensive. Mine don't always smell either but I don't take the chances doing it in public.

Maybe people are just more honest with their opinions at fetlife while here and at adisc, people stay silent about it perhaps? I have seen some people here call someone out here who is now banned on him messing himself out in public and staying in it or staying in the same diaper from the day before and peeing in it and having it leak all over out in public. I wasn't fond of his choice either but if he did it at home only, fine.

I think it's the issue people have with when you do it in public such as messing yourself rather than doing it at home only by yourself or just staying in your messy diaper out in public rather than go and change it even if it was an accident you had. I don't think it make us hypocrtical. It would make us one if we do it ourselves and then have an issue with someone else doing it.

[DailyDi]

Historically it happens at sites LIKE fetlife where anyone can start their own group and promote leaders. You end up with hundreds of small groups each with an inner circle of overlords who have decided to "take their ball and go home" to their own group which they control with a tight fist.

But then, since I am the evil overlord of this board.... lol. Always sounds bad when I comment on groups/sites since I run one, but i really just mean those open-format sites like fetlife, the old MSN groups, IRC chat servers, etc... Adisc, wetset, abkingdom, and others all work well because you have to either get along or leave... you cant just press a button and create your own kingdom within the site.

[rosalie.bent]

FETLIFE is a really odd place. It can be quite good and helpful, but it can also be extraordinarily abusive. DD is just nothing like that at all. The arguments here tend to be small and usually well-contained but on FETLIFE they tend to either cut short any conversation before anything gets going or allowed to railroad a member an infinitum... I am banned on the ABDL fetlife group and my 'sin' was promoting a survey that apparently would be used in a upcoming book (that isnt even writtend yet) to make money. Obviously they have never written a book before. Almost nobody makes any money at all and a few might make a few hundred. But my favourite part was that the complainer was someone who actually ran an AB Photo site... for money. go figure!!

But Mike is right that it is the fiefdom feel that some operate with that really messes with Fetlife. Here at DD the rules are consistent which - even if you dont fully agree with them - gives you a frame of reference you can rely on.

the ABDL crowd there can be really quite obnoxious while here the reverse is true. Perhaps an open forum like FETLIFE attacts the obnoxious ones and DD attracts those with half a brain and a modicum of politeness?

I have learned massive amounts about AB behaviours from places like DD and the people here. All I really learned from FETLIFE is that some ABDLs are very angry, very frustrated and very, very confused people.

Give me DD anyday...

[rosalie.bent]

I find it so interesting how people on AB/DL forums don't care if you wear diapers full time as a parent and wear them out in public but go on Fetlife, people who are AB/DL are so critical about it. Even my last therapist didn't have a problem with it and she knew I wanted to have kids. Lot of people I know online don't seem to care about it and my parents don't seem to care either because they never say anything about it. I do keep it private from them but they still know about it because they have caught me changing and see them in the washer and dryer and in my closet and the smell in my room until I bought some air freshener.

Okay I am not going to lie, I have used sippy cups in front of my son because he hands it to me and I take a sip out of I and hand it back to him and I also do it to see if any is coming out.

The question of AB and kids is never simple as some maintain it is. It is one thing to keep your sexual behaviours and kinks from your kids. That is right and proper although at the same time you need to remember that kids are not stupid nor deaf and blind. They will know something of what you do and your saving grace is that they really dont want to talk about it anymore than you do. But AB isnt just a sexual behaviour. In fact, for many people it is not predominantly sexual at all but a regressive behaviour that can affect all of life to some degree. We should always protect our children from sights and sounds that are inappropriate but defining that is never easy or have consensus.

My husband is a sissy baby who is incontinent and therefore in nappies full time. When the kids were younger he was 'just' a bedwetter so there were night napies and plastic pants around. While you dont flaunt them, you cant really hide them either and sometimes making a massive effort to hide them can be a littel suspicous. So they occasionally saw him in nappies but not often. When the kids were adults but still at home, he was in nappies all the time but also wearing baby clothes a lot. He was caught a couple times and while nothing was said, his babyness is more-or-less out there a bit now. But they are adult so even thoughj they dont understand about it (who does?) they just ignore it and it is rarely obvious unless they come home unannounced and he has to quickly change into adult clothes or there is a clothesline full of baby dresses and baby nappies etc.

So it is not a simple thing to just say 'hide it all'. You do your best in the circumstances you have, but you cannot be mistake-free. Nor can you simply apply your rules and your experiences to someone elses situation as some love to do.

[Guest diaperj71]

I'm not judging anyone who participates in this lifestyle and has kids. For me personally I just don't feel comfortable with the idea of having a kid find out but I also don't want to have to sneak around so although this isn't the only factor (I'm just selfish I guess) it has played a part Into me not wanting kids.

[turtlepins]

I never hid the fact that I wore diapers all the time from my kids, but I didn't flaunt it either. Now that they're grown they've told me they knew, because they saw them in the wash and when they were little and crawled in bed with us they noticed. Privacy is different with different families. What must it have been like in a one room cabin when mom and dad wanted a little roll on the mattress? LOL AB stuff fits in that category, and some people are okay with it, while others aren't. Thinking of other's first goes a long way toward acceptance.

[Bettypooh]

Thinking of other's first goes a long way toward acceptance.

This exactly. Be considerate of others and they will be considerate of you As far as kids go, they will find everything in their home- children are the most curious creatures on earth and the more you have the sooner they will discover things It's like sibling rivalry or something By the time I was 6 or 7, my brother was in his teens, my sisters in between, and all us kids had explored every nook and cranny inside and outside of the family home. We knew which guns were loaded, how much liquor Dad had left, and how much money each of us had in our 'piggy banks' With 4 kids around there will be no secrets on the premises for long

The question of kids and your diapers is always one best solved by your knowing what diapers are to you and how you deal with your kids questions which is usually based on their age. Simple questions given simple answers usually works well in quelling curiosity. It also helps stave off future questions The only real conflict I can see in this is if you are potty-training the child. It's kind of hard to tell them they are too old for diapers if you are known to wear them My only advice is to not try to mold any human (even your child) into too much 'normality' because when you get right down to it, normality excludes being exceptional and it inhibits the best in all of us.

Bettypooh

[Nat]

I never hid the fact that I wore diapers all the time from my kids, but I didn't flaunt it either. Now that they're grown they've told me they knew, because they saw them in the wash and when they were little and crawled in bed with us they noticed. Privacy is different with different families. What must it have been like in a one room cabin when mom and dad wanted a little roll on the mattress? LOL AB stuff fits in that category, and some people are okay with it, while others aren't. Thinking of other's first goes a long way toward acceptance.

And they never said anything about it? Not even when they were toddlers or getting potty trained?

[turtlepins]

And they never said anything about it? Not even when they were toddlers or getting potty trained?

They never said anything derogatory to me, or asked too many questions. When my daughter was fourteen I remember she said: "It's like having a big little guy running around the house." That's all I really remember. However I asked my wife and she did discuss it with all of them at one time or another. I wasn't into AB stuff until they were grown and gone, so it was all incontinence. My kids really respect me for some odd reason. My wife told them it was a private matter and I didn't talk about it to anyone but her, and I guess that was good enough for them. Most likely they commented to each other. I'll ask them when we get together on Saturday.

[rosalie.bent]

This exactly. Be considerate of others and they will be considerate of you As far as kids go, they will find everything in their home- children are the most curious creatures on earth and the more you have the sooner they will discover things It's like sibling rivalry or something By the time I was 6 or 7, my brother was in his teens, my sisters in between, and all us kids had explored every nook and cranny inside and outside of the family home. We knew which guns were loaded, how much liquor Dad had left, and how much money each of us had in our 'piggy banks' With 4 kids around there will be no secrets on the premises for long

The question of kids and your diapers is always one best solved by your knowing what diapers are to you and how you deal with your kids questions which is usually based on their age. Simple questions given simple answers usually works well in quelling curiosity. It also helps stave off future questions The only real conflict I can see in this is if you are potty-training the child. It's kind of hard to tell them they are too old for diapers if you are known to wear them My only advice is to not try to mold any human (even your child) into too much 'normality' because when you get right down to it, normality excludes being exceptional and it inhibits the best in all of us.

Bettypooh

thats a good post. The toilet-training 'apparent hypocrisy' isnt a problem though. At that age they fail to see the contradiction. You dont have to explain that much to kids. Most they just take your word for.

[rosalie.bent]

Well, I always kept my ABDL fun away from my kids because, as mentioned above, it is somewhat sexual to me and you always keep that side of your life from your kids.

But also, kids have BIG MOUTHS. There are LOTS of things I do--many of them not that strange but things I don't necessarily want spread around the neighborhood--that I typically kept from my kids.

As for the various boards--I'm a member of Fetlife but never go there; I joined long enough to check it out but then pretty much forgot about it. It seems to be much more "meeting" oriented and I'm not really into that--I just want a regular group of like minded friends to talk with.

And I was also on DiaperSpace for about a year and while I did meet a few very nice people there, I also frequently ran into some very snarky judgmental people and quit.

I'd all but given up on ever finding a good ABDL community until I ended up here at DD!

I used to teach Sunday School and I could have written a book onm the family secrets I learned. One girl told me all about daddy dressing up in panties and bra with 'friends' when she was supposed to be asleep. (I followed up on that to ensure her discovery was accidental and she wasnt trying to obliqely tell me something else). Others told me about spotting their parents having sex etc.

If you wear diapers at home there is a better than even chance that the kids already know. They may have even tried them out.

[rosalie.bent]

They never said anything derogatory to me, or asked too many questions. When my daughter was fourteen I remember she said: "It's like having a big little guy running around the house." That's all I really remember. However I asked my wife and she did discuss it with all of them at one time or another. I wasn't into AB stuff until they were grown and gone, so it was all incontinence. My kids really respect me for some odd reason. My wife told them it was a private matter and I didn't talk about it to anyone but her, and I guess that was good enough for them. Most likely they commented to each other. I'll ask them when we get together on Saturday.

as it should be. Known, but not discussed.

[sarah_ab]

this may have been said, I tend to zone out and not real long responses...

but fetlife is for sexual fetish's. There may be people who go there esp who are abdl who say its not sexual for them.. but FET life... FETISH life.. i.e. sexual fetish's... so for all intents and purposes that website is a sexual website... so talking about engaging in any aspect of a sexual fetish in front of your children will likely not be taken well there.....

[Nat]

i think the thing about having diapers in your home is if your own child gets into it, he will most likely be stealing them from you. But if they're too big for them, I think it's less likely they will. It's not uncommon for siblings who are into diapers steal them from their little siblings so I am sure they can do it to their parents as well.

[rosalie.bent]

i think the thing about having diapers in your home is if your own child gets into it, he will most likely be stealing them from you. But if they're too big for them, I think it's less likely they will. It's not uncommon for siblings who are into diapers steal them from their little siblings so I am sure they can do it to their parents as well.

Has there ever been an AB parent who had an AB child? I wonder if it is even possible to inherit such a trait and the odds of it happening spontaneously are lottery-win scale. But then again, people win the lottery every week!

Im glad we never had an AB child. it's complex enough as it is without adding that complication to things!

[Nat]

I hear it can run in the family. I don't know if it's genetic or a coincidence. I know a kid can get into it if they were exposed to it growing up. That is why parents keep it discreet. The baby items, the kid may just think it was theirs when they were little. The AB clothes, you can say they are costumes. But most kids don't seem to get into it even when they had an incontinent parent was so I am sure it be the same with an AB/DL parent.

[sarah_ab]

no one 'gets' abdl.. its not a disease or some sort of contagion.... there is research suggesting that you can be genetically predisposed to having sexual fetish's and that if the right events take place, it can trigger those genes but there is no way to tell who will have sexual fetish's or what they will be.

so no, a child who's parents are abdl is no more or no less likely to also develop said fetish than a child's who parents or not... what that child is more likely to have is a parent who will not freak out etc... if the parent discovers the child has an afinity for diapers etc.....

but heres the thing... there is something called boundaries.... parents need to have them with their children...... there comes a certain age when parents stop taking a shower or bath with their children, when they stop helping their child dress, and when their child needs privacy... there also are some things you just do not need to expose your child to....

you can let your child know you will accept them no matter who they are without having to show them your own private lives. This is one of those boundaries.... you should not be wearing your baby clothes around them, or using baby items around them, or engaging in ab/dl behavior around them... that is something private between you and your partner... NOT something hyour children need to know about.