Been Thinking Of Hanging It All Up- Tired Of Drama, Questionable People And Liars

[BabyChris121675]

Lately, I've been thinking of hanging it all up because I am TIRED of running into weirdos, creeps, and people who just plain weird me out in this community. For the last few years I've unfortunately run into a lot of the most questionable people and people who have not been honest with me. It's gotten to the point where I am about to give up on meeting someone online who is honest with me as I am willing to be with them. I hate the dishonesty, lies, games and manipulators that I have been a victim of. I am not trying to play a victim here but this HAS been on my mind as of late.

It's been on my mind quite a bit lately to just hang up the diapers for play and just be an adult and move on from AB and the world but part of me feels like I might still yet meet someone who is not a gameplayer or manipulator.

I've tried DiaperSpace, ABY, and a few other places- always the same- too many weirdos and such contact me. One guy even once offered to pay me money to change my diapers and such but sorry- no money in the world is going to make me gay.

I think the reason I have been thinking about this is because I am going to be turning 37 in a month and a half and I feel like I'm getting nowhere in the AB world plus I have learned to have fun OUTSIDE the internet and to say adios to the drama and bullshit that comes with the internet.

Mind you; I'm not giving up the diapers- as I still wear them for need at times when I can afford them plus I still want to be AB if I can ever find the right person that accepts it. And yes, I've tried to involve a vanilla person and it just plain weirded her out- however it was not what broke up the relationship- it was the fact we were two different people.

I have decided that I'm limiting contact to those who are honest with me, won't play games and what have you. I'm tired of that unneccesary drama in my life. That's something I have no need for as I already detest with a passion internet drama as I find it useless to get worked up into an online arguement. Maybe that's something I've never understood or what have you.

I think another reason why I have decided to pretty much give things up is also I have found I have little in common with some AB's- I hate kids movies, kid shows- I can't stand baby talk- I have a life outside the baby thing that I enjoy- plus I am NOT giving up my sports or my news networks or news websites that I frequent and read. Plus, I read a lot of books- and not kiddie books mind you but books about baseball, football, novels by Grisham, Clancy, Crichton and others as well as history books.

I decided to post this here cause of the level of maturity I've seen here on DD and I just felt I needed to vent and see what others say. I really do need a good outlet for my thoughts on this matter.

BabyChris121675

[Mischa]

There are a lot of nice ABDLs out there, not everyone is creepy.

I don't go to DS or any of the other sites, because they're seedy in my opinion. I'd try the DD chatroom if you haven't yet, a lot of the DD Chat regulars are nice and far from creepers........they're kinda goofy, but not creepy

I'm a big-time Clancy nut, and have read a couple Grishams, and I'm a newsaholic. Hit me up on YIM, my IM is in my profile.

[sweetandsensitiveguy]

i feel you i have had guys messages me with questions like you wearing now. How often you wet.

Had guys pretend to be women just to either mess with my head or some recently one was a guy pretending to be his sister so i can try to get him dates.

End the end its your call if you feel getting out of the lifestyle will make you happy and you could give it up and find someone go ahead.

I know i could get almost any women i want the fear of trying to get her into this lifestyle is what always stops me from being with someone.

At the end of the day its what you want and what you feel is best

[sarah_ab]

I think another reason why I have decided to pretty much give things up is also I have found I have little in common with some AB's- I hate kids movies, kid shows- I can't stand baby talk- I have a life outside the baby thing that I enjoy- plus I am NOT giving up my sports or my news networks or news websites that I frequent and read. Plus, I read a lot of books- and not kiddie books mind you but books about baseball, football, novels by Grisham, Clancy, Crichton and others as well as history books.

First to respond to this... I have a full life outside of being an ab, i read multiple news agency reports, I read many many different types of books that are in no way kids books, i read horror, sci fi, history, general fiction etc...etc.... I am in grad school and have full normal conversations with my classmates. I have friends and a job and my ab world never is involved. I.e. you can be an ab and still have a full adult life that your ab interests are not involved in.

I also hate baby talk, and although there are some cartoons I enjoy, most of them do have adult humor (phineas and ferb, gravity falls and sponebob all have lots of humor in it for adults). I don't read little kid books in general (at christmas I do have some favs like the polar express but thats more for nostalgia). I do enjoy some disney movies, but then again hundreds of thousands of adults who have nothing to do with the ab world enjoy these movies.

So don't think because you don't like 'kid' stuff in general you can't be an ab.

Have you ever thought of going to some local munches in your area, or setting some up, to meet people just on a friendship level? Instead of looking to meet someone into this to start a relationship, just meet people as friends and see where it goes from there.... Often the munches that are established have a way of weeding out the real world "hngs" so the people are usually more just chill.

You can still come to DD and partake in ab stuff in the real world, without actively seeking someone out. I've been coming here for like 6 or 7 years, and most of those I've been with my boyfriend who is my daddy... Perhaps just coming to enjoy some conversation etc... not even diaper related, and you may end up finding other like minded 'non' creepy people.

as for the emails.. everyone gets them. When i first put up an add on diapermates years ago, i would get the same pages long emails from the same people every week, and they literally just copied and pasted them. The key, like any 'junk mail' is to just delete them and move on. Its not as if people are literally knocking on your door or calling you, its just an email and very easy to delete...

but really don't go just because you havent found someone. Instead stay and just enjoy what there is. Often when you stop looking for a partner is when someone falls in your lap.

[drynot]

Hmmmm....I've never had the urge to give up all my outside interests just to wear diapers. You, my friend, just haven't met the right people. I think there are plenty of Ab/Dl folks out there who have healthy interests outside of this fetish/lifestyle. Maybe you're just putting too much importance on living IN diapers rather than living WITH diapers.

[BabyChris121675]

I'm talking about giving up AB- not my outside interests... please reread it- I want to give up the whole AB thing since AB is not doing it as much for me cause as I said before, I'm tired of running into weirdos, creeps and so forth.

The problem I have with going to local things like munches, et al is because I don't drive as I have never had a drivers' licence. Never had a desire to learn to drive- plus I am not comfortable with being behind the wheel of a car.

The reason I have been thinking of giving up AB is because of the fact I keep running into the seedy underbelly of our community or just not fitting in. I have always had a hard time fitting in and I think that extends to online as well. Another reason for that is cause of my hatred of internet drama and the sheer utter waste of time of it.

I wish I could go out and meet some ABs but it's hard when you don't drive and the internet is the only way to do it.

However, I don't know if I would be comfortable because in social gatherings I sometimes flub it unless I am around people I am comfortable with. I have some soical issues due to autsim as well.

I still plan on going to the sites, reading articles but to be honest- I also have outgrown diaper stories. I used to like them 10 years ago but five years ago they started to seem repetitive to me.

I'm quite good at disginguishing junk mail from legit people. That's never been the issue- the issue has been the PEOPLE I've run into- AB's who are looking for money, people playing mind games, etc. That's what I run into the most for some reason. My problem is people who contact me via Yahoo or AIM

And yeah, the ones that piss me off the most are the baby talkers and the ones who just want to talk about what I do in my diapers and I can only SHUDDER- Imagine what they're doing- UGH.

I more than likely won't give up AB, but just focus more on my outside interests rather than AB as I think about it more and more.

BabyChris121675

[sarah_ab]

well if you don't drive than that explains everything ... but no if there isn't a good public transportation system where you live that definitely does hinder your ability to get out and meet people. When i met my boyfriend, I lived very rurally, but luckily was only 3 miles from work and carpooled with a coworker. or could walk there. I had no car, and lived on to of a HUGE hill so in the winter had to walk to the bottom of the hill to get a lift anywhere...

so i understand the no driving thing... but again, i guess theres no reason to 'give up' entirely if its something you enjoy... but yuou can definitely put partaking in the activities on hold to focus on other things. I've had times in my life where i have not engaged in anything ab related other than coming here for long amounts of time for a variety of reasons... nothing wrong with that... but if you enjoy it... than no need to give it up.

[BabyChris121675]

I have made some good friends in the community- ones I do trust but I really am sick of the losers, HNGs and people who just think with their private parts rather than their brains.

It gets old to me, it really does. I just want to fit in somehow. I feel like I don't fit in cause I can't stand kiddie crap unless unless it's what I grew up with in the 80s.. I admit I have a soft spot for SpongeBob only cause he cracks me up and I've worked in fast food joints in the past. Right now, I just want to try to feel welcome. In most communities I feel like an outcast cause I am so different.

I think what set this all off is the other night I ran into yet another loser asking me about what I do in my diapers and how much of a baby I am. I get sick and tired of that bullshit. All I want is intellligent conversations with some people who are honest and don't have ulterior motives as I've run into within the community.

I'd love to go to local munches but sometimes I wonder if the Cleveland-area people even trust me or if I did something a few years back to ruin that. I wonder if that was cause I am on the lowest rung of America's workng and social classes. I do wonder sometimes if I screwed things up and it makes it harder for me to trust people who do munches and stuff.

All I want is to fit in somehow. Yet, I feel like I cannot.

BabyChris121675

[drynot]

On the lowest rung? Care to elaborate?

Fitting in can be very difficult if you tend not to share similar interests with the people you are trying to associate with. You've got to know your audience though. I'm not a partier, drinker, or drug user so I'm not going to go out of my way to associate with folks like that because I KNOW I won't fit in. Unfortunately those folks who tend to avoid parties and bars seem really hard to meet due to a lack of social opportunities.

Munches might be a good way to meet folks, but as you say they tend to fill up with folks too into the baby scene rather than the 'mature' set. I've never been to one so I can only go by word of mouth Again it sounds like you just haven't met the right people....and unfortunately you might not unless you keep putting yourself out there.

Rock...meet hard place

[rusty pins]

Ok, I kind of get that you are just a little AB but maybe not too much into all the baby stuff from what you said. Maybe at times. Perhaps you are much more of a DL than an AB. Maybe it's the enjoyment of wearing and using diapers that you like more than all the baby play. That's fine! Just because a person likes diapers and wearing them doesn't mean that they have to do all the baby stuff, or even just some of the baby stuff. In my case, I am not AB at all and never have been. I am strictly a DL. That dosn't mean that I don't like watching old re-runs of Bugs Bunny and Scooby Doo, it just means that I totally do not get into baby play, pasifiers, baby clothes, mommy or daddy stuff or being changed and roll playing as a baby. To each his own, but personally I find that very off putting. On the other hand, I am a DL and love wearing and using my diapers. There always has to be a good ballence in life between diapers and all other interests though. If you let diapers take total control of your life, then I have always felt that is not good or healthy. I view my diapers as just another hobby or interest I sometimes partake of. That said, I mostly wear my diapers in the privacy of my house or when I go out running errands or shopping all day, especially out of town. Naturlly, I wear them discreatly under my jeans when I'm out and about. That doesn't mean I can't have some adult fun with someone while wearing diapers. I have a DL friend who happens to be a member here. We are both straight and enjoy wearing diapers as DL's, not AB (although I do believe my friend does have some AB tendancies). What do we do when we get together now and then? We have our diapers on under our pants and we sometimes go out fishing in my boat for the day. When it's warm and we are away from all the other boats, our shorts usually come off and we fish in just our shirts and our diapers. No, it's not a turn on for us to see each other in diapers and there is never any thought of changing each other or anything like that. It's just the freedom we have to be out somewhere on a sunny day doing an adult thing we like and wearing our diapers openly even though they can't be seen by anyone. What do we talk about? Sometimes about forum topics here, sometimes about our families, sports, work, golf, hunting and all sorts of topics. Sometimes we will meet for lunch at a buffet, wearing our diapers under our clothes discreetly. Basically, we do everyday adult things and talk about every day adult topics along with diapers. The main point is that you can have fun doing a lot of things with someone else, wearing your diapers if they too are a DL and also wear them for fun. It dosn't have to be AB related, but you can wear diapers with a DL friend doing everyday adult things and hobbies. Perhaps if you re think things, you might focus on finding a DL friend with similar hobbies with no interest in roll playing, diaper changes and baby stuff just to perhaps hang with a couple times. It's the friendship and commraderie with someone who also enjoys diapers that gives you acceptance and makes you feel good about yourself and your diaper interests. If you do find a local DL with similar hobbies, don't focus so much on the diapers but on a common interest you share, like going fishing together, golfing 9 holes, maybe hit a local casino and play a few slots if your into that. Just my thoughts and what works for me.

[BabyChris121675]

Well I am AB but I don't like to keep AB as a major part of my life. That has always been a problem. I wear diapers for a need when I can afford them and due to my insurance being dicks I can't get them covered plus I am not fond of urologists and all of the poking and prodding- no thank you!

I have more invested in my non-AB interests and I do get tired of the constant talk about AB and what I do in my diapers. That's my business and such. I would love to meet some more of the right people. And for what I mean about the seedy underbelly of the AB community is the kind of people that want something for nothing and those who are up to no good and the He Who Shalt Not be Named-types that well- creep the shit out of me. I also have had people promise me things and then disappear. I have run into all types and I guess it's somewhat difficult for me to trust. That's the key-word for me- trust.

And I do have a baby side, but I try to keep that in check cause I have a life outside of the AB lifestyle that keeps me busy and so forth. I have to maintain my responsibilities as my motto is- responsibilities above all else. My AB side usually comes out at times when I am able to play baby but I don't want to let AB be the MAIN focus of life. I have a life outside of it that to me is more fun because- well grownups can get drunk at Indians games and play violent video games. I have tired to make contact with others in the area but as I said, due to not driving it makes it harder and the public transit around here sucks and is not worth the money plus I don't wanna get stuck somewhere overnight and spend money I can't afford to spend.

I appreciate everyone's comments and I do appreciate DD for making me feel a little bit welcome here.

BabyChris121675

[BriGuy]

I'm a tattooed biker Abdl with an emphasis on dl. My life revolves around work, wife, garage time, diapers, and then ab stuff. Just cause you like some of it doesn't mean it has to rule your life.

There are a lot out there for which it does rule their lives. I understand and respect their lifestyle. If it works for them great, but what works for me is different.

I have spent a lot of my life surrounding myself with those who can balance their life. What I have found through trial and error is most of these folks are not often overly active online. The reason for this is their lives gravitate around other things, ie work, hobbies etc.

My remedy is to get out and about, surround myself with open minded folks, and be who I am. The less I put into the Internet fantasy the less I am disappointed.

After all the Internet is a far cry from reality.

So get out and about and surround yourself with open minded people. The rest will follow

I'm working on my second marriage, both of which accepted me for who I am, without being part of the lifestyle to begin with.

[BabyChris121675]

Oh that is what I do- I don't always spend my time online or live a fantasy life online. Most times when I am online it has nothing to do with AB but rather researching and reading about my interests such as sports, history, and various video games that I play on my consoles so I can beat them. I get out and walk when the weather is nice and I do get out with friends when I can. I never got into things like Second Life or World of Warcraft- I have a life away from the computer.

I am not always tethered to my computer. Hell, my cellphone is not even a smartphone wired to the internet! LOL.

The reason I don't spend a lot of time with my friends is because a lot of them have moved out of the area where I live and are now elsewhere around the USA and when you don't drive it makes it harder. I also have a hard time making new friends sometimes.

I can't wait til this rain clears cause if it does I plan on going for a bike ride on the local college campus and enjoy the weather. I miss riding my bike right now. I love riding my bike around the areas I live as it gives one a chance to clear his head but weather here lately has been downright miserable and cold for the past few weeks. As soon as it breaks, I'm hittin the paved bike routes.

What I was talking about are those people who tend to make AB the main focal point of their lives. I am not one of those... for some reason being a baby like that is impossible for me. I have more fun being with my friends at the bar when I can get together with them, I have fun going to ball games when I can get the tickets but when you are on a fixed income it makes it even harder as I have to live on a tight budget. I do what I can but it is hard when you can't do as much as you used to.

BabyChris121675

[curiositykilledthecat]

If I gave up anything in life over people being rude, creepy or stupid, I would have quit the human race a long time ago.

[DavidMW]

Regardless of the reason, if there's something tied to the AB that doesn't interest you or that you no longer enjoy, dropping those things is the right thing to do. Everyone's interests and needs change over time, so finding places, groups and activities that are a better fit is worthwhile.

W.r.t. AB gatherings and such, it seems to me that the folks who would participate do so out of a strong interest in their AB side and they want to meet and interact with others with that interest. Although that doesn't mean that they don't have other interests, they may just be expressing their non-AB interests in other settings - both in real life and online. Their AB side may be the only thing they have in common with someone in such setting.

I don't come to DD expecting to find discussions related to genealogy, for example. That doesn't mean there aren't others here with that interest, but it's not why they come here either. (I don't think I'd ask folks in a genealogy forum about how many of their ancestors were DLs, either.)

[rosalie.bent]

This has been an interesting thread. I get the problem with weirdos, but the OP kept making that same point again and again. There has to be more to it than that. You find weirdos and creeps in EVERY segment of the internet and every segment of non-internet life. its just how things are.

Perhaps learning to drive and the greatly widened social interaction that can come from that is a better idea. It sounds a lot like your only social interaction is via the internet which would explain a lot of the attitude. Finding balance between the adult and the child (AB) persona is often difficult. 'Giving it up' is a fools errand, little different from the repeated binge and purge cycle.

Id work on your adult social arena before anything else.

[spark]

This has been an interesting thread. I get the problem with weirdos, but the OP kept making that same point again and again. There has to be more to it than that. You find weirdos and creeps in EVERY segment of the internet and every segment of non-internet life. its just how things are.

Perhaps learning to drive and the greatly widened social interaction that can come from that is a better idea. It sounds a lot like your only social interaction is via the internet which would explain a lot of the attitude. Finding balance between the adult and the child (AB) persona is often difficult. 'Giving it up' is a fools errand, little different from the repeated binge and purge cycle.

Id work on your adult social arena before anything else.

The binge-purge cycle is something that is just part of the profile, and we've seen this before many time (although not stated as eloquently). There is always a guilt aspect associated with this, and a cycle that causes people to push in and out.

I know in my case, at 10 years ago I really wanted to meet other ABs and DLs and got into some e-mail correspondence with them. For the most part, I felt the people I talked to weren't the most together, and I had no real desire to hang out with them. I didn't hang up the diapers, because I was learning that this is just part of my life, but I stopped actively seeking out personal relationships with other ABs (not sexual- just non-internet relationships). Obviously there are people here who I would I be willing to meet for coffee, or something, but I think most of us have a very active life outside of diapers. We have friendships that are not related to this, and our diapers are not the dominating part of our daily life.

[RoyalDane]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o66IPMWA05A

[Sarah_Hillcrest]

BabyChris,

Well look man what are you expecting. You want to make friends in the ADULT BABY DIAPER LOVER COMMUNITY, its not like you're trying to make friends who are into golf or macrame or something. The fact is that for most of us this is a sexual fetish, I know there are people out there who are completely non sexual ABs and thats great, but you're reaching out to a group of people who like to wear and use diapers and then you're upset because they want to talk about ti? You're complaining about baby talkers in an "adult baby" community?

If you'd like some more normal relationships go reach out to a more normal community.