Questions... Please Help!

[CautiousMommy]

Hi, I'm new to all of this... I just started dating my boyfriend and he came to me and told me that he likes to wear diapers and pretend to be a baby... I really care about him and I don't want to lose the relationship, so I came here hoping that I can get some advice on how to make a relationship work being a mommy.

I'm not sure that I can really be the kind of person that he wants me to be... like, I think I could be nurturing and motherly sometimes, but I know that at the same time I will get tired of it if he wants me to be the mom all of the time. Like, I know that I'll want him to just hold me and be the 'man' sometimes as well... I mean... is this something that might work, or would it be better for me to just let him find someone that will be a better mommy for him?

[sarah_ab]

http://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?showtopic=30666

http://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?showtopic=30970

http://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?showtopic=30934

http://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?showtopic=29655

that should get you started, and all on the first page of this forum....

[erevu]

My fiancee and I have been working through these issues. My advice is to not assume anything. Don't jump to conclusions. He is your best source of truth when it comes to whether you can make this work or not. Try to find a balance that works best for both of you. Whether it can work or not depends only on you and him.

[CautiousMommy]

I feel a lot better reading a lot of these topics and knowing that people feel this way... and honestly I think that I could be okay pretending that my bf is a 'baby' sometimes... but I just don't know if I can be okay with some of the things... like diapers. I don't know, just the idea of him wetting the bed and having me change him doesn't appeal to me at all. And I want children of my own someday, and I just don't know how my boyfriend being an adult baby will affect that, or his relationship with them, if at all. I mean, I know that he can be an adult sometimes, but I'm just scared that if I do accept him and this part of him, that it will be hard for him to differentiate between when I want to be mommy and when I just want to be his girlfriend.

I mean, is it normal for there to be just 'baby' times, and then 'adult' times?

[sarah_ab]

it is very normal to have adult times and baby times... .. i have been with my boyfriend for 5 1/2 years now. We are two adults who have full time jobs, have friends and activities we enjoy outside of work. I go to univ. full time for my masters degree and he is in a band.

We have time when I am the baby and he is the daddy... usually in the evening, and not every evening.. Or sometimes its only for a few minutes before something distracts us and we are back to being adults.

Sometimes i will be his 'baby' for a few hours on the weekend, in a diaper, with my pacifer etc... as we roleplay the scene.. and then in the middle perhaps one of us will get a phone call, or something happens or comes up, and we need to be adults... and then we are adults.

Just because someone enjoys being in a 'baby' doesn't mean they have to be the baby all the time. A relationship betwween two adults needs to be just that. and Adult relationship. Sort of like people who enjoy role playing the dr. nurse... they aren't always in those roles, or the naughty school girl teacher scenarior.. again they are not ALWAYS the teacher and naughty school girl. There is a time and place for these things.

Also there are so many parents on these boards, who happen to enjoy being an ab, but are great loving parents to their children. Their having desires to be an ab has in no way affected their ability to raise healthy, happy children. However, there are also some people who (and i am not talking about those who feel this is a lifestyle), but there are some people who cannot differentiate when it is appropriate to be an adult, and when to be an ab... often these are people who already have boundary issues and probably would not be ready to have children yet, even if they were not someone who also enjoyed being an ab.

But yes, it is very normal to be adults, who are in an adult relationship, and do adult things.. and at times enjoy some baby play. Just like adults who at times enjoy any other type of role play scenario, whether sexual or not....

[CautiousMommy]

Alright, thank you so much for your advice and for responding... I think that my major problem is just that it is so new to me... and it's very new for my boyfriend to have someone that accepts him the way he is, so he may be a bit overeager as well. It does make me feel loads better to know that there are relationships out there that have worked... I do think I'll stick around on this site just to have people who are in the same type of situation and I'm very happy that I found it.

[bbgirlmichelle]

My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 5. He plays as my Daddy and I'm his little girl. We fluidly slip between adult and Daddy/little girl, sometimes it's a look, or a tone of voice but I'm in adult mode way more than I'm in little girl mode (somebody has to run my business).

The secret (sssh, don't tell anyone... actually tell everyone) is communication and compromise. Give and take and open communication. If he's going to fast for you talk to him. If you're unsure about something, talk to him. If you need more adult time, talk to him. If there's something special that you want him to do for you, talk to him In my experience, it's the key to any happy relationship.

*huggles*

Michelle

[NewMommy2]

CautiousMommy,

I became a mommy in May 2011, I know how difficult it is to understand at first. And just like some of the other replys, it is very important to talk constantly, he will tell you what he wants. But it is also important to take it slow. I have found for us, that the best thing in the world is the 50/50 give and take that we have. I know that if he expected me to be mommy 24/7, I would not still be here with him. We talk all the time about everything, both of our needs, mentally, physically, emotionally, sexually, etc., and he not only listens (or pretends to listen) but he also responds.

I love this site and have gotten very good information from it. There is no one in my life that I can discuss this lifestyle with, so I come here a lot. I also chat with other mommies to get ideas and advice too. Feel free to pm me if you would like to chat.

NewMommy2

[CautiousMommy]

Thanks everybody, I'm glad that there are people out there that know what they're doing, because I sure don't. I think it will be kind of new for me to talk about my feelings so much, but I think that it will be good for both of us to be so open about things. Thanks again, lol. I'm happy to feel so welcome here.

[Bettypooh]

....Also there are so many parents on these boards, who happen to enjoy being an ab, but are great loving parents to their children. Their having desires to be an ab has in no way affected their ability to raise healthy, happy children. However, there are also some people who (and i am not talking about those who feel this is a lifestyle), but there are some people who cannot differentiate when it is appropriate to be an adult, and when to be an ab... often these are people who already have boundary issues and probably would not be ready to have children yet, even if they were not someone who also enjoyed being an ab....

QFT- another keen oberservation Sarah There are times, places, and situations for everything- and the opposite as well. As someone with a lot of life experience (though little in a relationship) I know you're both going to change some more, based on what you want to explore further in life and on how mature you both are right now. That's not a bash- we're all like that at this age More than communication alone, you need to set boundarys you are both comfortable with and re-evaluate them regularly until you're both totally settled to where you're going with this. And you both need to be in 'adult mode' when you're discussing those boundarys. You have every right to expecting your own needs to be fulfilled just as he does- a good relationship is always balanced fairly. And kudos for trying More people should be like you in that; it shows that you have the kind of heart that all people should have.

Bettypooh

[j_addict]

Feel free to PM me about this, I am a new mommy as well and I can go through my history with you if you'd like to discuss how I was introduced and how we went about it. You are wonderful for wanting to look into his wants and see where you fit in.

[confusedmommy]

Hi CautiosMommy, I became a new mommy recently as well. (November to be exact) I have a file that i read that really helped to explain alot, its lengthy but definately worth it. PM me if you would like it or you have any questions on how i adapted to this new lifestyle and what helped. I bet your boyfriend is happy your trying, mine was ecstatic lol

[CautiousMommy]

Yeah, I think mine tends to get kind of over excited and then I get a little scared. But I think he's beginning to realize that we need to go slower than if he was dating someone that was a pro at it. But I think it's getting better. Your guys' comments have really helped a lot, and I will be sure to PM both of you soon, lol. I just haven't had much free time lately, so I promise that I'm not just ignoring your comments. Thanks, guys. <3

[wetman]

My hat off to you, madam, for being so open minded, curious and willing to try. I cannot see how anything can possibly go wrong if you put so much effort into it!

I wish you all the best!

(I know, not a helpful post at all, but I just had to leave a bit of praise.)

[j_addict]

Yeah, I think mine tends to get kind of over excited and then I get a little scared. But I think he's beginning to realize that we need to go slower than if he was dating someone that was a pro at it. But I think it's getting better. Your guys' comments have really helped a lot, and I will be sure to PM both of you soon, lol. I just haven't had much free time lately, so I promise that I'm not just ignoring your comments. Thanks, guys. <3

I totally understand, my guy gets like this too. We do slow down and I am getting better at not getting scared and nervous. We do take it slow and have made great progress in incorporating what he wants with what I want.

[GentleDaddy]

Quick FYI - I started out as an AB, then a switch, then a Daddy.. now a REAL daddy to 2 great kids... you find the right person, and you find the right balance, go slow.

[j_addict]

Quick FYI - I started out as an AB, then a switch, then a Daddy.. now a REAL daddy to 2 great kids... you find the right person, and you find the right balance, go slow.

A switch? Just curious. Thanks for the confidence. Going slow is key, slow and steady, the next step arrives organically and you'll know when it's right.

[confusedmommy]

Yeah, I think mine tends to get kind of over excited and then I get a little scared. But I think he's beginning to realize that we need to go slower than if he was dating someone that was a pro at it. But I think it's getting better. Your guys' comments have really helped a lot, and I will be sure to PM both of you soon, lol. I just haven't had much free time lately, so I promise that I'm not just ignoring your comments. Thanks, guys. <3

Im really glad things are getting better. It took some time to adjust for me and i still am but my boyfriend is being very helpful. My boyfriend gets very excited and starts saying things he wants without thinking. I get really nervous and upset when i cant do what he wants but he's still working on making that part easy. I've gotten alittle better since he's fixed that alittle. Im happy things are being worked out

[rosalie.bent]

Im glad it is getting better for you too. Some other good news is that my book - "There's a baby in my bed!" should be on Amazon on 15th March and possibly in bookstores by the end of the month WOOHOO!

It deals with Adult Babies and relationships with their non-baby partners. You might find it helpful.

[j_addict]

Im glad it is getting better for you too. Some other good news is that my book - "There's a baby in my bed!" should be on Amazon on 15th March and possibly in bookstores by the end of the month WOOHOO!

It deals with Adult Babies and relationships with their non-baby partners. You might find it helpful.

Will your book be available for the Kindle? I have another book dealing with this topic and would read yours, especially if it were available for digial copy. Thanks for the heads up!

[rosalie.bent]

what was the other book j_addict?

[j_addict]

The one I have read was: Ageplay from Diapers to Diplomas by Paul Rulof

It has good basic information and a contract template in the back.

[Fulldiaper]

The key with any relationship is communication. If you keep an open dialog, you'll both have a better experience. Make sure that your emotional needs are met as well as meeting your AB/DL's needs. Some AB/DL's can be quite selfish when it comes to reciprocation, especially when it comes to the emotional and physical needs a parent that's also an adult will tend to have. Setting ground rules and play times and locations will also help insure safe, sane age-play times. As previously stated, some start out as AB/DL's and evolve into switches that are more comfortable being in the parental role with that special someone.

If it gets to be too much, don't keep it bottled up until it explodes at someone you truly care about. Discuss your feelings and hopes, dreams and desires of how you wish to proceed and have your partner or significant other do the same. If you can't talk, write, but keep the communication lines open and working with each until you're both happy with the experiences and both achieve the desired roles you wish to obtain.

Respectfully,

Michael