Why You Never Benefit From "Public Exposure"

[Guest diaperboykcmo]

Why can't people understand this has nothing to do with ab or anything like that. That's an excuse, also it's a unique thing, cause now it's out in the open. Kinda like the story's where some guy got caught cheating on his wife, but the fact he wore diapers get's more play. Bottom line is this, he's on disability, to some he appears capable of working. The fact that he's ab, just looks like he might be having fun, and we the tax payer are paying for it!

The economy is bad, my doctors recconmended I file for disability. You have to jump through hoops, I'm bipolar and I've been going to a Doctor since I was 12. I'm over 38, and I've had over 40 jobs! I didn't get it, but if I had, I'm politcally active. Had I got disability, I wouldn't be involved in politics anymore. You never know who you might piss off.

People with cancer and aids, have been denied disability. Someone gave the example, of someone getting drunk and abusing drugs while on disability. If they were out flaunting it, and people found out they were on disability. The tax payer would be mad. Same thing, why should I work, and this person stay home and do drugs and get drunk.

There have been instances where people get disability for their back, then they find this person playing softball. If they can play softball, the back must be ok. There SSi will be pulled.

The tax payer, they just don't wanna pay for someone who can work just like them. Why should they go to work aand pay for someone else. They wanna stay home and do whatever they like as well

We're a nation that says, what about me, I want mine. Why does he get it, and I don't. We think of ourselves first. That's what made 9-11, so unique. There was actually a time, where we all pulled together as one.

[sarah_ab]

OK perhaps some education again..

there are two types of disability a person can qualify for..

the first kind, Title 2... when yiou work, you know how taxes are taken out for social security? thats where this money goes, to title 2... title 2 is like an insurance policy you buy into by working. When you have worked enough, you then are able to file for disability if you found yourself unable to work because of a physical or mental impairment.

Many people who receive disability checks, receive title 2 checks.. which means THEIR OWN TAX DOLLARS are supporting them.... my tax dollars aren't supporting them, just the money they already paid into it.... The longer you have worked, the larger your check will be, because you have paid more money into the system.

Now, Title 16 was created initially for blind people and disabled children who (and this was way back in the 50's) had either never worked because they were blind *(remember 50's... not the same jobs then as now for blind individuals) and children who were so disabled they would never be able to work. This was others taxes helping to care for members of society who by no fault of their own were born with conditions which prevented them from working, but who still needed medical care and financial assistance.

Title 16 is based on a means test, not everyone qualifies for title 16 benefits, if you have to many assets, or to much money to your name, or your spouse makes to much money, then you do not qualify for title 16. So please remmeber, not everyone on disability is living of of YOU tax dollars, many people are just getting back what they paid into the system....

[Youngatheart252]

I can understand that stanley wanted to show his life to everyone and is now paying the price for that, you reap what you sow(good and bad). What I don't understand is the plethora of people that seem to get pleasure from saying "I told you so". What is there to gain? The next person that decides to go on tv with this fetish is not gonna take your opinion into account, it's a personal decision. It just sickens me that a group that should be supporting one another is bashing one of our own so fiercely. It's not as if he painted us in a bad light, and if it wasn't for some grandstanding senator you would have nothing to say on the matter. Pretty damn sad if you ask me.

[tcc]

Read the thread here, read threads about the show on other popular ABDL sites. Stanley was warned several times by several members of the community. He chose not to heed their advice, now he pays the price.

I don't understand why anyone is surprised that this happened. Recognized members of the community said it was going to! Why should the community be held accountable when someone does something they were told not to do?

Perhaps some good will come of this yet. If the authorities choose to make an example out of Stanley then perhaps the rest of the ABDL community will get the message. Keep this stuff to yourself!

What she said.

So many issues got brought up, and it shows how divided the "community" is. However, while there are those bound and determined to try and legitimize their leanings, urges and desires by "coming out", and perhaps, to try and garner sympathy and support by "proving" just how soft, gentle, and well, "baby-like" an AB is, so-called "normal" society is simply NOT going to accept, try to understand OR understand the motives, the wiring, the general scope of the AB or DL. Nor is society going to view it as harmless and "just their thing" with so many issues at issue with the world of the AB. Over time, the more it has been "out" and the more it has been sensationalized, I have seen little movement away from pure uneducated ignorant disgust and toward acceptance or "acceptable adult behavior".

With the degree that diaper fetishism has sexual overtones, it can be treated like many other facets of the sexual arena between consenting adults - what goes on behind closed bedroom doors should stay behind closed bedroom doors. YOU may feel better having the world know you're an AB and want to live your life that way - most have the reality of the real world and adult responsibility staring them in the face, FIRST - but have a little consideration for OTHER PEOPLE, who may not be so comfortable with your softer, gentler, infantile side!

Poor Stanley. Right. It was one thing to present that part, that side of himself, and the life he leads. It's another to not consider all the ramifications of doing so, including helping or hurting "the community" as a whole OR the fact that his "lifestyle" is supported by tax dollars, of which there may be some who simply don't agree with funding such type of lifestyle - regardless of the legality or why it is happening - or outright reject it.

Many will feel the sting of rejection by virtue of mere connection at a distance with Stanley, and many will feel that they, by virtue of being in the same community, have been hurt, and "the cause" set back again.

As LuvsGurl said, keep it private, keep it quiet, and I add, keep it purely consensual, and you're not going to have a problem. Jam it down someone's throat or present it to those who don't want to know about it or have it presented to them, and you're asking for condemnation. That, is the world of today. And, more and more, for those that feel they have way too much jammed down their throats or are being asked to accept way more than they feel they need to, there is going to be resistance. Too many do not see that and then feel the world is against them when it happens. Too many have their eyes "wide shut"...

[Bettypooh]

First the facts- Stanley did a good job representing us The TV people were much better than we're used to seeing and far better than what I've dealt with Stanley is on disability, and has been for some time now. Few here understand just how hard it is to get disability and how little money they give you to try and live on Some Senator was watching a show on sexual fetishes- then based an opinion on a small short take of what was shown and nobody has questioned why he was watching a fetish show There are more people here saying "I told you so" than I can stomach Especially that

To the nay-sayers: Get your heads out of the dark brown smelly place- Stanley and the TV people did more good for us than anyone else has in a long, long time Whether you like it or not; whether you think he should be on disability or not; whether you think he should have went on TV or not; whether you anything or not- the main point here is what good Stanley did and we should support him for that. The rest matters little at all compared to that. You've done nothing positive for yourself or anyone else by bi+ching how about keeping your negativity to yourself so the rest of us can be happy for the good that has been done? If you just have to be negative, go after that stupid perverted politician who gets his rocks off watching fetish shows, and ask yourself why we're dumping money by the cart-full on his worthless behind. He's costing us more in a year than Stanley will see in ten, even if you add in what Stanley makes on the side. Aim your hate where it will do some good

To Stanley: You are brave and I thank you. I know how things went when I was interviewed on a cable show advocating the TG side of life. I know how heady it feels knowing that you're making a difference. I know how you worried that you'd mess up. I know I wouldn't have done it on this subject, but I am glad you did. I wish I could offer financial support but the best I could offer wouldn't feed you for two days. If you need that, it's here for you- and anything else I can do. Why? Because you've earned my respect for at least trying which is more than anyone else here did or likely ever will do. Overlook the nay-sayers and remember them with sorrow, for they will never gain what they want because they refuse to try. And lastly, don't let then drag you down. You made a difference and a good one- KUDOS!

Bettypooh

[sarah_ab]

actually taboo isnt a fetish show i just happened this episode was about people who spend part of their lives livin out a fantasy ....

[ThomasInWVa]

Yea, I'm going to weigh in on this. First off, the show was designed to creep people out. Shows like this certainly make it harder for those of us who need to use diapers purely for medial reasons. It is what it is. I'm not going to defend this guy. I think he's nuts but I don't care what someone does at home or who with. It does bug me the I have to help pay for it.

But here's the rub. We will pay for it anyway. Since this guy has threatened to kill him self if he doesn't get his leach money, he can now be committed to a loony bin. In the nut house he will still be in diapers and get changed by the staff. He won't get to play baby but he will be able to wet and mess himself to his hearts content. Of course the diapers will be much lower in quality and he may not get changed very often. Now for the kicker - it is cheaper on the taxpayers to let this guy continue to get his check and play his games at home. If he get commited, his "care" will cost us 10 times as much!

But I do have to wonder this; why did they agree to go on the show in the first place? They had to know they were going to be the butt of the joke.

In a way I feel sorry for them.

[Diapered Jason]

I agree with Bettypooh.

[Butters]

He did nothing but hurt us by going on TV. I have no sympathy for him and he deserves everything coming at him. Their are people much worse off them him who are still able to work and contribute to society.

[LBG]

I am disgusted. Not by how people are reacting but by this man's own reaction to the thought that his disability might be taken away.

I don't remember if it was in this thread or on another board but someone mentioned that if he truly didn't think he had anything to hide or any reason to worry that his disability would be taken away (proper documentation and a TRUE reason for not being able to hold any job at ALL)then he wouldn't be threatening to kill himself.

When Stanley first presented himself to the community about this show I thought, ok here is this seemingly normal guy who just wants to go on tv and spread the word about ABDL. Kind of creepy but nothing to be alarmed over. Then I saw the show, heard of his letting 9 year olds mix with adults on his website, read his fabrication of a biography and saw that, yes, now he is "threatening" suicide. Just from reading his biography it appears this man cries suicide whenever anything doesn't go his way. He's allowed himself to be shut away from society for so long and spent what looks like most of his federal pay outs on living as a baby that he is ill equipped to handle anything adult at all. How pathetic.

As for if more would be shelled out on hospitals verses letting him keep his SSI, well I work for a psych hospital and if he is admitted to a private psych hospital and the insurance were to cut him off-the hospital would take that loss, not the community. Now state run hospitals work differently of course. Also if he were allowed to stay diapered-provided he does have a proven reason to need them-staff would most likely not change them for him as he appears to be capable of changing them on his own unless he were suffering from catatonia or dementia-which clearly he is not if he is communicating.

Basically this man needs to suck it up and either wait for this to be taken care of (and he should have money saved up,not just blow his whole rest of the SSI check that he doesn't use on necessities for ABDL shit) or attempt to find a part time job that requires minimal physical activity in the mean time.

[Santiago]

From his story he does not sound disabled at all - just rather traumatized from an experience. Get therapy and move on (many people have been through far worse). He sounds like a large, self disabled bedwetter.... get some perspective, lose weight and get a job.

The answer to that question is in here from Stanley himself.

[LBG]

From his story he does not sound disabled at all - just rather traumatized from an experience. Get therapy and move on (most people have been through far worse). He sounds like a large, self disabled bedwetter....

Amen. I work with PTSD individuals. Most of them are fully capable of holding jobs. They may end up hospitalized from time to time but are still able to work for a good portion of time.

As for this back injury-well my bio dad has very limited mobility due to strokes and a botched hip replacement and neuropathy and still manages to go to work 3-4 days a week for 8-9 hours a day. Oh and he is also legally blind, severely diabetic, and has renal failure. But somehow he manages to not want to sit in the house all day freeloading.

[LilJennie]

I agree with Bettypooh too -- a very positive response amid a sea of negativity. By supporting him we support ourselves. Also thanks to sarah_ab for some useful facts about the Social Security system that I certainly didn't know.

It's too easy to armchair-quarterback and say, "Oh, he doesn't really look or sound disabled; he should get a job," just like Senator Coburn. Way too easy. But the fact is that unless you know Stanley personally, you don't know what his life is like, and unless you're a doctor who has examined him, you don't know how disabled he is or isn't. Do I know these things? No. And unless you're his friend or a doctor who's examined him, neither do you.

But the more negative posters on this thread are at least expressing their real feelings -- Senator Coburn stands to gain politically by making an example of Stanley and possibly Sandra, which raises the possibility that he doesn't really care about saving taxpayer money at all, just about making a bit of political hay at Stanley's (and our) expense. Diapered Jason, Senator Tom Coburn is a member of the US Senate, a Republican from Oklahoma. It's quite possible that the letter he sent to the SSA could get Stanley's case reevaluated. Bettypooh, I've seen several people wondering why the Senator was watching "Taboo," but if questioned about it he could always say that he only watched that segment after some alert voters brought it to his attention. He probably doesn't have much time to watch TV anyway.

Stanley may have been advised not to go through with the TV show, but the fact is that he did. And other than the Social Security issue, I think he did a good job. Not too many people would probably have noticed this if it hadn't been for a meddling Senator, but again, what's done is done. So, for the moment, to a certain number of people, Stanley Thornton is the face of adult babies everywhere. What do we do now?

The challenges:

• Stanley's living what some see as a profligate lifestyle on Social Security. People are already pumped full of stories of "Welfare queens" who drive expensive cars they bought with taxpayer money.
• Stanley and Sandra are overweight, and there's a tendency for outsiders to blame that on the person -- "they're eating too much." This despite the fact that about two thirds of Americans are either overweight or obese (according to WebMD, Reuters and others).
• The program tried hard to portray Stanley as a normal person, perhaps too normal, as it showed him walking out and about, going out to a lumberyard, and drilling holes in wood, and it didn't mention any of his disabilities (it didn't mention that he is on Social Security, either). I understand he's at least partially incontinent, but the program just said he wears a diaper, implying that it's 100% by choice.

[sarah_ab]

if a letter is sent about a case by a senator or congress person then yes the case is given priority...... doesn't mean it will get him off..... it will go to the office of the inspector general where an investigation will be made into his finances and daily activities...

as is, at his age, his case is up for review ever 3-5 years by SSI, so every 3-5 years his recent medical records are looked at, he is sent to an exam and a decision is made as to whether he has made medical improvement enough to work.. and by work they mean 5 days a week for 8 hours a day... not 20 hours a week, but they must be able to do a full 40 hour work week.

also..... not EVERYONE can just 'suck it up' and get a job....... i know many people with ptsd who were able to do this, and just as many others who are still crippled by their UNCONTROLLABLE flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks.

i bet stanley could do some work, part time.... but if he cannot work 40 hours aweek consistantly and perform at a competitive pace at the job, then he qualifies for disability.... and NOT A SINGLE ONE OF US can determine that based on watch 15 minutes of cut and pasted footage.

[Butters]

But the more negative posters on this thread are at least expressing their real feelings -- Senator Coburn stands to gain politically by making an example of Stanley and possibly Sandra, which raises the possibility that he doesn't really care about saving taxpayer money at all, just about making a bit of political hay at Stanley's (and our) expense.

The senator is not attacking AB/DL, it is not at our expense. He raised the issue because he believes that Stanley is misusing taxpayers dollars. Besides Stanley went on the show at our expense, he is not a good example of an AB/DL. All we got was negative rep and Stanley got highchairs and who knows what else.

[diapered charles]

I have had some run-ins with Stanely on other sites and there is certainly some screws loose inside of his mind. However, Social Security is not here to support people that wish to exploit the system. His diapered booty needs to go out and earn his keep like the rest of us. The "I can't fit in" excuse hardly qualifies someone for a lifetime of support. If he chooses to kill himself, oh well. Someone else will put my money to better use.

[Total Trash]

If he chooses to kill himself, oh well. Someone else will put my money to better use.

"If they want to die they may as well do it now and cut down the surplus population."

[LBG]

and it didn't mention any of his disabilities (it didn't mention that he is on Social Security, either)

Actually it did mention that both he and his room mate receive Social Security benefits which help them fund their lifestyle.

[square_duck]

if a letter is sent about a case by a senator or congress person then yes the case is given priority...... doesn't mean it will get him off..... it will go to the office of the inspector general where an investigation will be made into his finances and daily activities...

as is, at his age, his case is up for review ever 3-5 years by SSI, so every 3-5 years his recent medical records are looked at, he is sent to an exam and a decision is made as to whether he has made medical improvement enough to work.. and by work they mean 5 days a week for 8 hours a day... not 20 hours a week, but they must be able to do a full 40 hour work week.

also..... not EVERYONE can just 'suck it up' and get a job....... i know many people with ptsd who were able to do this, and just as many others who are still crippled by their UNCONTROLLABLE flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks.

i bet stanley could do some work, part time.... but if he cannot work 40 hours aweek consistantly and perform at a competitive pace at the job, then he qualifies for disability.... and NOT A SINGLE ONE OF US can determine that based on watch 15 minutes of cut and pasted footage.

THANK YOU SARAH!!!!!!

I am sure Stanley can do something part time, and I have been racking my feathered brain to try and figure out something for him that is low stress that he can do, and be able to support himself.

To all the detractors here is a thought. do you honestly THINK that Stanley WANTS to be on disability?? Do think he likes being in this situation?? The obvious answer is NO He would love to be able to have some semblance of a 'normal' life, have some money in the bank, and have the ability to make some kind of life for himself, instead of sitting around rotting in stagnation on SDI!

Here is a quote that I heard a long time ago, that really is true:

Everyone needs 3 things in life

*someone to love

*Something to do

*and something to look forward to

Stanley has only one of these,m Sandra, his roommate.She is very devoted to him, and he knows it....which is all fine and good.

He really doesn't have anything to 'DO' due to limited finances, even though some of the best things in life are free so he does what he can given his circumstances and situation.

And the last thing.....given the above, he really doesn't have much to look forward to. He's at he bottom with limited hope, unless someone comes along to give him a break, understanding his limitations and capibilities, and willing to work with him on that.

After saying that, I just wanted to pass along another note to the 'other group'

Stanley says:

May 20, 2011 at 8:11 PM

Hey all,

Just a quick note. Police just pulled up. Guess my therapist called them after we talked. They are probably going to take me over to the ER again. Gee, another dose of abuse coming up. Anyway, just wanted to post real fast in case no one sees me for a few days. With hope mental health will act like they always do and overturn the 5150 hold like always. If not, I will be transported to Sacramento for 3-7 days. I will try to keep in touch through Sandra. If you don’t hear from me, give Sandra a call Elisa. I already e-mailed you her number in case something like this happened. Hope to talk to you soon. **hugs**

-Stanley

So essentially he's back in the hospital, somewhere he didn't want to be and more then likely subject to more of their abuse, which is part of the reason he is the way he is to begin with. So the vicious cycle continues.

I have Sandra's phone number and I plan on calling here today for an update, which I'll pass along here, if anyone cares. I might also go up there this week, since I currently have 3 days off from my job to see what I can do to help.

So this is where it stands at this time, and to all the finger waggers and arm chair warriors who want to say "I told you so"...I hope you feel happy and somehow vindicated

Stanley is my friend, and as such deserves my help. Some of you may feel I am on a "fools errand" but he needs help and deserves it, as my friend. He has done no wrong, and as someone else said, as a member of this community, it's not our job to criticize Stanley and tear him down, but use this as as a tool to lift all of us up. When life hands you lemons, make lemon aid. To many people want to go running back to the closet and hide, until the all clear sounds, and it's ok to come back out. Thats not the way life is, nor the way I choose to live mine.

There are always answers and solutions....it just takes time to find them. I'm doing what I can to do so. There are always choices also, and some of you choose to sit back and watch, others choose to criticize..or others choose to run for the hills....what ever. I'll stand and fight If it costs me something, so be it, anyone wants to tear me down for it...go ahead..I have over 145 rep points, for what it's worth, if that means anything I seriously don't think I have much if anything to loose.

i'll keep updates as I can....again, if anyone besides Sarah actually cares.

[Leilin]

Over 146 now, Duck.

Whether or not one agrees with Stanley's actions, the fact is that nobody here knows the whole of the situation. I personally think it would be best if we reserved judgment until we are aware of the facts, and even then, glass houses, stones, etc. I don't see a purpose in assuming the worst about a person, but, then, I'm one of those folks who doesn't enjoy putting others down, no matter what the situation.

Furthermore, this is as a person who does not agree with the decision to "out" one's self as ABDL. Even though I do not agree with that decision, I don't personally feel that I have any more right to judge Stanley than anybody else.

None of us, unless Stanley has personally informed us of his state of ability, knows whether he "should" be on Social Security. Leaping to these conclusions makes any who do so no better than the people who you constantly rail on ABs as pedophiles. You are leaping to conclusions with a bare minimum of information on the situation.

[LilJennie]

Actually it did mention that both he and his room mate receive Social Security benefits which help them fund their lifestyle.

I was told today that the segment was about 15 minutes long, and I appear only to have seen some sort of 5-minute edit of it; I didn't know there was a longer version. The 5-minute version doesn't mention Social Security. I apologize for not having all the information. I still haven't seen the full segment, but until today I thought I had.

[sarah_ab]

ohh ohh are we comparig rep points !!!??? i win

[LilJennie]

I have Sandra's phone number and I plan on calling here today for an update, which I'll pass along here, if anyone cares.

I care. I want him to be OK. I would hope that others would want me to be OK, if something happened to me. We have to watch out for each other, or who else is going to?

None of us, unless Stanley has personally informed us of his state of ability, knows whether he "should" be on Social Security. Leaping to these conclusions makes any who do so no better than the people who you constantly rail on ABs as pedophiles. You are leaping to conclusions with a bare minimum of information on the situation.

As much as I hate Internet abbreviations, QFT. You are totally right, Leilin. I know barely anything about Stanley or Sandra. I'm not in a position to judge. That's why I'm not expressing an opinion about whether he should or shouldn't be on Social Security. I don't have the knowledge of the situation or medical/legal expertise to decide that. At this point I'm assuming that statements from doctors have shown, to the satisfaction of somebody from the SSA, that he is unable to hold down a full-time job, because they're the experts and have the knowledge, and I'm not and don't. If I were to make conclusions based on the information I have, which is almost nothing, those conclusions would be unsupported and invalid.

[BabyChris121675]

I do hope Stanley will be OK. I may not have approved of what went down with the TV show, or this idiotic Senator- who I think is doing this for grand-standng and attention getting so he can score points with those Fox News idiot talking heads. This has become something that it obviously should not have become. UGH. I just hope Stanley can recover from this and move on.

Duck, I applaud you for being there for Stanley. A friend is a good thing to have in life.

BabyChris121675

[LBG]

Stanley will most likely not be "abused" at the psych hospital.

Its not like the old days, whatever you hear.

Most states are moving away from restraints and seclusion except for in extreme cases where the person is doing actual harm to themselves and others. And even then it is for SAFETY and the restraint is done with no harm to the patient by trained individuals.

Psychiatric hospitals are here to help people, not hurt them. Stanley cried suicide for days, so of COURSE he would end up hospitalized. I'm sorry but what did he expect?