Why You Never Benefit From "Public Exposure"

[BabyChris121675]

I kinda suspected something would happen like this- I mean, go on TV and expose your life and say that you are using SSI to support your adult baby life?! I am however, not surprised, but yet concerned for Stanley because I despise suicide. I had a friend of mine who was in a bad spot in life after moving to Arizona that he commited suicide by driving his wheelchair in front of a semi. He died on impact. Suicide is something I hate with a passion.

I hope Stanley can get some help and prevent such a tragedy from happening. I do not wish to see someone end their life like this. I admit I am concerned for Stanley's welfare, but disagree with his decision to go on Taboo and expose himself like that. If it had been me, I would have kept the fact that I am on disability private. This whole thing seems to be snowballing out of control. I've seen networks poking fun at Stanley, I've seen even my local Fox station do a story on him. This is becoming something more than a help to the AB community but rather an embarassment. I feel for Stanley as I don't want him comitting suicide. Suicide is not painless- But painful to those in your life.

I wonder what will happen with this thing- I'm just surprised this has snowballed even more.

BabyChris121675

[square_duck]

Ok, a few things here. Stanley posted all about the mechanics of why he does what he does and that he DOESN'T Do the AB RP all the time...maybe an hour a day or so. or he'd get bored. Also, he is a bedwetter and essentially incontinent, so he needs some kind of protection most of the time. Also, being an AB, he is well aware of the fact that there are much better products available for his situation than the cheap diapers that the medical program will provide. SO he has to buy the better ones himself. He prefers to use Wellness briefs because they work...and fit better than the cheap POS that he can get for "free" maybe beggars cannot be choosers, but he shold be able to get a better product to manage his medical condition.

Maybe he was asking for this kind of thing by doing the taping....*shrug* who knows, and it's water under the bridge now, so arging about it is kind of senseless. One thing for sure though, we kno wwhat kind of TV programs some of Our senators are watching

I called him and we chatted for a while, until I had to deal with a water leak emergency at my house soI had those calls to field..UGH But, the outcome was I got Stanley while he was visiting his roommate Sandra (from the video also). She had been hospitalized due to complications she was having from some of the meds she takes for a brain tumor, then while in the hospital she had a heart attack, so all this stress is already surrounding Stanley, so I think this suiside threat came from him being alone at home (which he doesn't like) and Sandra being sick, then the idiot Senator shooting his mouth off about cutting his SDI...with out even considering his medical history

Anyways, I hope things can keep patched together for a while longer, and maybe I can do something to help get him out of the rut he is in.

He's basically at he bottom, he has nothing to loose, no where to go, and no one to turn to, and now the Government is on his back about something they don't even understand

Maybe I'm biting off more than I can chew...maybe noty, but I think it's worth the effort. Stanley is a good guy, and just needs some help getting on his feet. Maybe he can't work a 40 hour 9-5 job, but he can do other stuff. in all honesty he doesn't really NEED much and really WANTS nothing, other than to live in peace and quiet and be left to his own devices, which are all harmless.

The people in the community where they live all saw the program and most if not all have been VERY supportive Sandra speaks with the staff in the hospital and they all "get it" an dare fine with it. Stanley has met others while in line shopping and they just smile and say it's great! So there isn't an issue there at all at the community level. Others are trying to help also, the site I got the email off of, has many people from all walks of life and a couple of attorneys who have offered references and resources to go to email and fax etc, and they know him a LOT better than people here, so he is getting a lot of support from many levels.

Maybe he goofed...ok...so what?? you want to judge him like the fool hardy senator who just wants to grandstand and make this a political issue?? Sorry, if thats the case I don't think we need you here. Again, Stanley is who he is, and he accepts that with all the limitations and nightmares that go with it.

Getting hassles about who he is by shallow people in politics is one thing, and it is what it is, but having people in this community turn their backs on him, and point fingers and say "I TOLD YOU SO" is quite another. he did this for the community as a whole. If you are unhappy, it's for YOU to deal with. Leaving non supportive messages here does nothing. he stuck his neck out, and took some flack...BFD, did he do any harm??? What about that 1 person he was trying to reach out to what about them?? When they realize that they aren't 'freaks' or alone and there are lots of others out there who are like them...I'd say that is very much worth the risk he took.

Stanleys situation has answers, and solutions. There are people willing to help and who accept him for who and what he is. Who knows...sales of Adult diapers might jump due to this

I feel the echoes of this will keep reverberating for quite a while, even after all the political hot air has cooled. If they pull Stanley's check....so what???what has been proven?? NOTHING! he has friends and resources that he never knew he had. Hell, I went onto a realtor site looking at houses in his area and some of them are dirt cheap! If I have to, I'll buy one and stick him in it until something else gets worked out...There are answers and solutions, one just has to be willing to look.

One of my personal heros from my childhood is the character "Spock" from the star trek series. One of his comment she always used is "there are always possibilities" and so I choose to use that here, and not let some small minded blow hard who is trying to score voting points, cause injury to someone else who has done no harm.

I too am a taxpayer, and I have been since I was 17. I'm more pissed off at the people who truly abuse the system than what Stanley is doing. Women who have several kids with different fathers, just so they can get more money from welfare. Children who have no real father or positive roll model, and who will more then likely end up on welfare themselves.This is a damaging cycle that needs to be broken, it's destructive to both people and society in general. The drug users and junkies who can't get tier act together, and the utterly lazy bums that bilk the system and wont work or even TRY to find a job, because they think that they are "entitled" to it THATs what really pisses me off as a taxpayer! That and this expanded EBT program (food stamps) I work in a restaraunt, and we get people coming in with tier card to buy food, and then go home. Some of them pull up in a Mercedes!!!! I'm thinking WTF Here I work for a living, and buy my own %$#@! food and gas etc and support myself and this greedy or lazy S.O.B in a F**N MERCEDES has an EBT card!!!

Hopefully this might get someone to kick start the whole system and investigate the graft and BS that comes with supposedly "free" money. if so, then Stanley has done more good if not and it just gets swept under the rug, and it's abck to business as usual....then that shows you how fickle a lot of the 'supposedly' important people really are.

Anyways, enough of my rant.

As far as I know Stanley is still here and Sandra is getting better and should be able to go home soon, and the world will go on with it's business of moving quietly around the sun.

[BabyChris121675]

Kinda off topic at first- food stamp EBT cards at a restaurant? In Ohio I don't think that's even allowed- wow. As for Stanley, I just hope things get better for him and Sandra. I just hope that this senator with a craw up his ass stops and takes a look at things a bit and looks at Stanley's file or something and then learns something. I think a lot of people are judging because they feel they have the right to do so.

BabyChris121675

[LuvsGurl]

We don't need to walk in your shoes. You've advertised your life on television. I'll be the first person to tell you that you are a disgusting person. It's not an issue that you are getting money for disability. It's the issue that you are using that money to buy diapers, baby food, high chairs, cribs, etc. You don't work, and your excuse is that you are depressed and want to kill yourself. Guess what? America is full of people who are depressed and want to kill themselves. It is also full of people who are rising in poverty and adding to the lower class. Instead of diapers you should be buying therapy or drugs so you can work.

Some people might find this harsh, but I also find it appalling that people are suffering while this jerk is sucking his thumb for money. I work for my fetish. I work dam hard and I try to keep up with it. So coming from a guy who wants to take all the money he has ever been given, waste it on diapers, only to kill himself because he might have to get a job, why don't you get off your dam high horse and walk in MY shoes for a day. Working full time while going to school full time isn't easy. I should be getting money from the government, because unlike you, I am helping to become a productive member of society.

And for those whom want to aid this person? You're just as full of it and guilty as he is. Grow up, and learn to become responsible for your actions and for your own welfare. People literally DIE because they don't have enough money to survive. And you waste it away shitting yourself for fun!

A bit harsh, but QFT.

[Guest munchkitten]

one of the AB groups on fetlife are ripping stanley a new one:

http://fetlife.com/groups/18060/group_posts/1435391?utm_campaign=notifications&utm_medium=email&utm_source=new_group_discussion

[BabyFergstar]

I can understand the position of the government wanting to investigate the circumstances of his collecting SSI. However, I also think it is ridiculous of them to say that because he LOOKS alright, he IS alright. I have a couple friends who suffer debilitating neurosis and are on disability. They can seem perfectly normal given the right circumstances and social settings, but when things go south, it happens hard and sudden. Stanley's threats of suicide could be indicative of horrible emotional and/or mental problems that he is collecting SSI for in the first place. I wish him only the best, but a part of me can't help thinking that he REALLY needs professional help to deal with some issues. Money in any form of income is not the most important thing in life.

By the by, just so we all understand each other, this comes from somebody who GOT professional help when I thought I had hit bottom. I'm not trying to judge anybody, just trying to empathize and let him know that some of us have been there too.

And may be a pretty harsh, Satanic, but I understand what you mean and where you're coming from. Sometimes harsh is the order of the day, and some people need to hear harsh every now and then.

[padded_husky]

I am really surprised that Stanley used his real name myself. I mean, when I seen that episode, I thought that he was using a fake name but apparently he was not. I mean using a fake name when doing something like that I figured was common sense. In any case, I hope that Stanley is able to get things back in order and I am sad to hear his predicament. To be honest though, this entire ordeal makes me remember that I wish SSI would just become an option. I mean, by the time I get a chance to use SSI there is not gonna be any left. On top of that, the people in charge of SSI are complete morons and The amount of money that I put into SSI is sickening since I will probably never get a chance to gain any of it back. In any case, good luck Stanley.

*in other thought* I wonder what Taboo is thinking about all this and if they feel they should say anything or if they feel the need to get involved?

[Guest diaperboykcmo]

I am really surprised that Stanley used his real name myself. I mean, when I seen that episode, I thought that he was using a fake name but apparently he was not. I mean using a fake name when doing something like that I figured was common sense. In any case, I hope that Stanley is able to get things back in order and I am sad to hear his predicament. To be honest though, this entire ordeal makes me remember that I wish SSI would just become an option. I mean, by the time I get a chance to use SSI there is not gonna be any left. On top of that, the people in charge of SSI are complete morons and The amount of money that I put into SSI is sickening since I will probably never get a chance to gain any of it back. In any case, good luck Stanley.

*in other thought* I wonder what Taboo is thinking about all this and if they feel they should say anything or if they feel the need to get involved?

Yeah we put into the system, but we'll never see anything from it. Say what you want about Bush, but he had a plan to give us a little that we could invest with, much better then not getting nothing!

[bbgirlmichelle]

There are a lot of problems with government systems like SSI and welfare and a lot of people screwing the system, but to say that Stanley shouldn't be receiving disability benefits without looking at his medical records is just irresponsible. It's like seeing someone parking in a handicap parking stall, with the appropriate placard and someone judging by looks if they should be parked there. Some bystander on the street does not have the knowledge of the persons medical needs to make that judgement.

As far as Stanley using his money to buy diapers and AB gear, how is that any business of anyones. He gets the exact same amount as anyone in the area, he is able to make it stretch further by having a roomate and sharing costs. If he qualifies for disability payments then it has been determined by the powers that be that he should be receiving them, outside of that it's really not the taxpayer's right to complain about how he spends it. A disabled person has no less rights than you do as a tax payer.

My opinion on welfare and disability:

I think that welfare should be there to help a person out in a really bad time, there should be a time limit on how long you can receive it and if you are able to work you should work or be cut off, if you can't work you had better have a disability that causes you to not be able to hold a job and you should then be on disability payments. There should be multiple checks in the the system, but someone shouldn't be cut off until a new decision is made, if they've been approved for disability payments they have obviously gone through the process once and should continue receiving payments until they decide that the person is capable of working again and even then they should be assisted with a qualified job find program equipped to help someone who has a disability.

Even here in Canada we have tons of people abusing the system, single mothers that stay on welfare and have more and more kids to get more money, the benefits per kid is over $600/mo, but not all of it is the public's fault. My mom needed some help once for childcare when I was a kid so she could go to work, the welfare office told her that she would be better off to no work and go on welfare. Thankfully my mom has a work ethic and refused, and I was brought up with a stellar work ethic.

[Diaper273]

I believe I said that the problem was what he was spending it on. It isn't his money. It's money from the state. It's all of our money. People are given this money when they cannot work and cannot do things themselves. Yet he can perform duties such as building his own equipment. Yeah, he might have a few problems that we don't know about, but medicine should be first priority. Is the Senator being a dick? Absolutely, but then again all politicians are dicks, and with this economic crisis going on (yeah, it still exists) people need to cut down in places where it might disagree with others. Stanley should be able to practice all the fetishness he wants to, but it shouldn't be on my dollar, especially when it should be going to someone else who really needs it to survive. Does Stanley have problems? Absolutely, but Stanley also has money that could be going to relief in Southern USA where people are losing their homes and valuables.

It doesn't matter how much time he spends on it a day; it matters that he is spending it on things he doesn't need with money that is meant for almost purely a need basis. He isn't being given money because his life isn't pleasurable. He is being given money because he needs it. I will not support him merely because I have the same fetish as he does. Yeah, I could "stand behind him because someone is hurting a fellow ABDL", but I refuse to mentally, physically, and emotionally back his way of life in proportion to the rest of society. I am not saying he shouldn't get money from people like me for health issues. I'm saying he shouldn't get money to support his ABDL lifestyle. Other people deserve the money he isn't using properly. You might say, "Well, who are you to say whether we should tell him what to spend his money on?" But it isn't his money. It's the money of the state being lent to him to help him survive. He is doing more than surviving and I have a problem with it. I will speak out about it and I won't be trampled merely because a few hundred people feel sorry for him. And saying you're going to commit suicide if they take away money you are not using responsibly, then you are merely reinforcing the point.

[BabyFergstar]

There ya go...same point, bit more detail, just harsh enough without being overly so. I totally agree with you.

[LilJennie]

I just wanted to say a few things, and I'll try to avoid saying things that others have already said.

The Washington Times is owned by the Unification Church. Yes, that's Reverend Sun Myung "I am Jesus" Moon. Don't expect unbiased journalism there.

Senator Coburn is the one getting Social Security here. I'm betting he's going to cost the government more taxpayer money investigating Stanley Thornton than it would ever save by cutting off his disability checks. And meanwhile he's making political points with his supporters, something he should be spending his reelection campaign money to do instead of taxpayer money. Fortunately it looks to me like "Tom Coburn vs. Adult Baby" is mostly being played for comedy value, so it will probably make him look silly rather than bathing him in the "Crusader against Waste" limelight that he obviously wants. Unfortunately, apparently all we're good for in the public eye is derision.

Even here, I'm seeing people assuming that just because he has a nursery bedroom with a crib and a highchair and whatnot, that means that he's living high on the hog. I don't consider myself rich, but I have some AB clothes that weren't cheap -- because I saved money to get them. If you're disabled and can't work, what are you supposed to do with yourself -- sit alone in an empty room looking out the window all day? I'd imagine you'd probably want to do something you like, so you can at least still get some enjoyment out of life. Being an AB doesn't have to be that expensive. And why is it that he's being attacked for wearing diapers, especially here of all places? If somebody's disabled and incontinent but not an AB, is it a crime for them to get diapers with their disability check?

It may not have been wise for Stanley to go on TV and call attention to himself while having a bio on his website that states that he's on public assistance. But he did a brave thing. Have you done anything that brave lately?

[BabyFergstar]

If anybody else wants to come down for on Satanic, think of it this way - let's say I'm getting money from the government because I say I can work for reasons that are not obvious, like possible mental or emotional issues. Instead of using the money I'm receiving on professional help or medication or what have you, I'm using it to go to 5 star restaurants every day because food is how I cope. How pissed would you be that I'm leeching from your invested money so that I can have a REALLY good steak or lobster tail every day?

[BabyTara]

#1 Nat Geo paid for the highchairs.

#2 People that get government assistance should not ever do anything fun????

[bbgirlmichelle]

If anybody else wants to come down for on Satanic, think of it this way - let's say I'm getting money from the government because I say I can work for reasons that are not obvious, like possible mental or emotional issues. Instead of using the money I'm receiving on professional help or medication or what have you, I'm using it to go to 5 star restaurants every day because food is how I cope. How pissed would you be that I'm leeching from your invested money so that I can have a REALLY good steak or lobster tail every day?

You can do that as much as you want with the money given to you, which may be once a month. It's not like he's going and getting extra money than the standard disability rate so he can buy/make AB gear. Everyone gets the same rate, what they do with the money is their choice, that's it, that's all they get. According to what you're saying they should get just enough money for a roof over their heads, heat, water and food, sure sounds like prison to me. Do you really expect someone who can't work for a living because of no fault of their own to do absolutely nothing? Should someone disabled be punished for being in that disabled? It's not like he's taking lavish vacations or going to 5 star restaurants, he probably saved up for the AB things. It's quite amazing to see how far you can stretch a dollar, the same dollar everyone else in his situation gets, if you put your mind to it.

If you want to monitor what people on disability are spending their money on you're going to have to pay a lot more government employees to manage the process and you're going to invade their privacy and probably spend a lot more than you could save.

Have some compassion and imagine what you're life would be like if you ended up disabled and needed to live on government handouts. Would you seriously tell me that you wouldn't use some of your money to give yourself a means of escape? TV, Internet, diapers? Life could get pretty boring after a while.

[BabyFergstar]

Anyway, compassion and government regulation aside, neither of those are the point here. The point was that he seemed perfectly capable of living in the grown up world without the need for a government handout, thus they want to review his case, and they have every right to do so. I myself am kind of curious as to why he gets SSI in the first place. I think some people get on a government program for legitimate reasons, then stay on a government program because it becomes comfortable. There are almost ALWAYS conditions when it comes to getting money or financial assistance, be it from the government for from a lending institution. Nobody is saying that people can't have any fun while getting assistance, but when you subject yourself to public scrutiny while painting yourself in such a positive light, people are going to wonder why the hell you're not working and why you need taxpayer dollars to survive.

[bbgirlmichelle]

. I myself am kind of curious as to why he gets SSI in the first place.

The answer to that question is in here from Stanley himself.

[Guest Malecoda]

http://www.glennbeck.com/2011/05/19/adult-baby/

I replied.

Thumbs it up. I need the rapport.

[AutieAB]

#1 Nat Geo paid for the highchairs.

#2 People that get government assistance should not ever do anything fun????

QFFT. Particularly point two.

I'm seriously fucked off about the way *this* community is now treating him. Maybe appearing on Nat Geo was a mistake. Maybe he shouldn't have done it. That doesn't matter. Every single goddamn one of us is one unfortunate mistake or circumstance away from being ridiculed, questioned and accused by the gutter press. This community should stand up for one of it's own, not slate him.

(excuse my language).

[LuvsGurl]

Said it once, will say it some more. Don't have any sympathy for someone who burns themselves after being told that fire is hot.

[FretaBWet]

I've been reading this thread without posting because I kept finding myself swinging like a pendulum between both extremes. On the one hand, I find myself in agreement with some of those bashing Stanley and on the other hand I found myself reluctant to blame him for this sh*tstorm.

It finally dawned on me tonight why half of me was reluctant. Maybe we are all to blame for Stanley. Why didn't we speak out about this BEFORE it happened? There are posts in this thread basically saying "I told you so" and they're right. I saw this thread when it was posted

http://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?showtopic=23901&st=0&p=335586&hl=+national%20+geographic&fromsearch=1&#entry335586

and there was no way I would ever participate in something as stupid as this, maybe I should have stood up and said something then. The fact was I didn't and look at the mess we have now.

The other thing I find missing in this thread and it's been bothering me is that there is one big winner in all this. Not too hard to guess who it is is it. This sh*tstorm of negative publicity is like a gold mine to the National Geographic channel. They are getting millions and millions of dollars of free advertising not just from TV but radio, newspapers and magazines. Anyone expecting any type of statement from them to help quell the media frenzy is dumber than a box of rocks. They're probably in their boardroom drinking champagne and trying to come up with a plan to keep it up.

We all got taken here and that's why there's so much anger and hostility. We know better and that just makes it even more painful. It's like we got the letter saying we won the Nigerian lottery we never entered and we mailed the check because we were blinded by greed. When we realize we've been had we're more mad at ourselves for being so stupid then we are at the one who conned us. Many people don't even report it because they don't want to add the embarrassment of looking like an idiot on top of being conned. We all KNOW the media is just looking for ratings at our expense. We all know that no good can come from this TV show.

What's done is done and it can't be undone. What we can do is learn from it. The next time anyone tries to recruit someone from the community to out themselves I'll be on the front lines of the opposition. It's the best I can do and the only thing I can do.

Hugs,

freta

[Total Trash]

I'm gonna be blunt here. The amount of ableism, classism, and fatphobia in this thread is just disgusting. I may not know anything about this guy, but I'm doubtful he or anyone like him had any role in collapsing the world economy. Plenty of posters in this very thread have vouched for the amount of scrutiny required for disability approval, and the unreliable, sometimes-adequate payout. Do you really think this guy could have just showed up and said, "I'd like to be on disability?" Do you really think if he was able to keep a reliable full time job, he would instead opt to live on the pittance offered by the government? Of all the innumerable examples of waste they could have harped on, this is the one they pick? Don't delude yourself thinking this has anything to do with "balancing the budget." The neo-Reaganites are just looking for a new face to point to and say, "These are the sort of freaks and losers who are sucking the public teat dry!"

[LuvsGurl]

It finally dawned on me tonight why half of me was reluctant. Maybe we are all to blame for Stanley. Why didn't we speak out about this BEFORE it happened? There are posts in this thread basically saying "I told you so" and they're right. I saw this thread when it was posted

http://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?showtopic=23901&st=0&p=335586&hl=+national%20+geographic&fromsearch=1&#entry335586

and there was no way I would ever participate in something as stupid as this, maybe I should have stood up and said something then. The fact was I didn't and look at the mess we have now.

Read the thread here, read threads about the show on other popular ABDL sites. Stanley was warned several times by several members of the community. He chose not to heed their advice, now he pays the price.

I don't understand why anyone is surprised that this happened. Recognized members of the community said it was going to! Why should the community be held accountable when someone does something they were told not to do?

Perhaps some good will come of this yet. If the authorities choose to make an example out of Stanley then perhaps the rest of the ABDL community will get the message. Keep this stuff to yourself!

[sarah_ab]

when you get SSI you get insurance.. the INSURANCE will pay for medical treatment.. therefore the check is to help pay for rent, food, clothing and other bills needed....

If someone on SSI uses their money to buy cigarettes and beer, and sit around smoking and drinking all day, this is ok? but a guy hwo uses what little is left over to buy diapers and footed pj's is not ok?

loving that

also an ALJ does make decisions about someone who is disabled, but they are only after you have initially filed and been declined, then filed a reconsideration claim and been denied. THEN your case goes to the hearing level and an ALJ... before that the decision is made by collaboration between an adjudicator and a medical doctor, and ALJ is most definitely NOT the only one who determines whether someone qualifies for SSI or not...

SSI doesn't just say "oh you are depressed? when then here's a check" SSI first looks at what your actual medical impairments are... your diagnoses... back pain is not a diagnosis, but a bulging disc is.... then using the medical evidence and other forms and questionaires filled out, the adjudicator evaluates what the person is STILL capable of doing.... both physically and mentally.... then they take this evaluation, and look at the person's age, and the person's past work... and decide is there any of their past work the person is still capble of doing.. keep in mind.. past work is anything you have done in the past 15 years......... so if you had a job for 1 year, 13 years ago, where you sat all day in front of a computer, SSI could decide you are still physically and mentally able to perform that job..... SSI is not concerned with weather that job/company still exists, or whether you could get hired back to that job... just that you are physically and mentally able to perform that job.

The system was initially designed for people 50 years and older who became disabled and were unable to work, and would be collecting retirement benefits shortly... so the younger you are the harder it is to qualify for disability...

for someone's stanley's age to get SSI, he must have some pretty severe impairments.....

For a senator with most likely absolutely NO knowledge of the adjudicative process to state that after watching a 15 clip of stanley engaged in 30 seconds of different activities, he is capable of working is just naive and ignorant.

[Diapered Jason]

For a senator with most likely absolutely NO knowledge of the adjudicative process to state that after watching a 15 clip of stanley engaged in 30 seconds of different activities, he is capable of working is just naive and ignorant.

Agreed. I'm guessing this is a state Senator. If that is the case, I don't think he can do anything. SSI is a federal benefit.

The thing that really gets me the most is the senator's hypocrisy. Not only is he wasting money in doing this in an attempt to save a few federal dollars; he is wasting time and effort picking on the little guy that could have been better allocated else where.