Depression

[DailyDi]

Five A.M, been up since just after two. Feeling really depressed. Tried to work through it and got a site update done. Tried listening to music to drown it out. Took a xanax to drive it away. Can't escape it today.

There's a song called "How do you get that lonely" that asks:

How do you get so lonely, how do you hurt that bad

To make you make the call, that having no life at all

is better than the life you have

How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go

How do you get that lonely, and nobody know.

Pretty much describes how I'm feeling. Don't get me wrong... I'm not going to do anything stupid. I know it will pass. Just saying I understand what it's like to be there, even if I don't know why I am.

Sorry to be a downer, just had to tell 'someone' and in truth I don't have a lot of people to turn to in the real world.

[Repaid1]

Well you can tell me. I'm dealing with this stuff everyday. Don't know what the heck brings it on. I can be fine one day and down the next. I haven't been able to take the prescriptions the doctor gave me. I think I'm on the tenth or so variation of a anti-depressant. With no luck. I do like you do and just summon up the strength to try to keep it above water so to speak.

My doctor even told me to file for social security he said I'm more than qualified to receive it. I just can't seem to find the energy I need to want to do much.

For those who suffer from Depression, know the pain it can bring. I also have Fibromyalgia, which just makes my life a living hell most days. The bad part is life is pretty good right now otherwise. I just wish I could find out what triggers this darn thing. Hopefully they will find one of the "happy" drugs that will work and that my system will tolerate.

So hang in there bud, Quite a few people on this board suffer from Depression so take that in knowing your certainly not alone. Hope your spell is over soon.

BTW who sings the above song? I know I try to stay away from sad country songs myself. They tend to drive me into the depths of Depression...

[Nia]

It's the sitting in the office with a room full of people you have known for years and feeling like your completely alone and your soul has dropped out of existence. Coming home to a great SO and not feeling any better. Even my dogs don't cheer me up when the blue monster has me. I go to see the psychologist to work through my issue's and deal with the past and I just seem to get lower and then one morning it's not so bad. I hate the cycle of depression and the not knowing when the monster will get me again or for how long. I am really thankful my SO knows what I go through and that there are good days other wise I don't know what I would do. I lost my best friend 6 years ago to depression and I vowed not to let it get me. So like you I find the strength to go another round and not give in.

[aleyxsis]

I totally agree with you guys i have also suffered from depression runs om my moms part of the family .I have tried different meds over the years .The ones i take now seem to help and no they don't make me a drooling zombie like people think!. They just help me to feel half ass normal what ever that is? Also been laid off for a year now that does not help either .So you are not alone daily di hang in there dude be cool ok

[drynot]

I too was in the same boat recently. No job, no direction, really tough to get out of bed in the morning. I had these issues for years before I got enough courage to ask for help.

I went to my doctor and rather than prescribe anti-depressants he did a testosterone test. Turns out my testosterone levels were really low. I am now on a testosterone daily regiment and the change has been incredible. Its hard for me to accurately convey how dramatic the turn around has been.

I would recommend to any male over the age of 30 (sorry girls) to have their testosterone levels checked.

[Honu]

Aloha All,

I don't have clinical depression so please let me tell you what I'm seeing. The sun is out down here and everything is a pleasant shade of green. The coffee is tasty and my dog is sleeping happily on the floor. What do I have to be so cheerful about?

Well, I could justify depression if that was my thing. I was almost killed in a helicopter crash and it did collapse one of my lungs, break 3 ribs and crack my shoulder blade. Five of my friends were killed in that crash. I was divorced by my first two wives and had to pay child support for my two daughters for 16 years. I've had bad bosses, sun burn, cold days and been shot at. Despite all that, I'm glad that I'm still alive, able to run, married to a wonder AB/LG who also sometimes mommies me and am financially comfortable.

I know that everyone has downer days, but thanks to this site, we have a large group of friends that understands how great it is to wear diapers. It's another day and like anything else, it's what you make of it. Until you're ready for that, we're here and supportive of you.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Dealt with clinical depression without medical treatment for a good solid six years or more, lost track. I don't believe I am clinically depressed, anymore, just have occasional bouts of depression at this point. The key is to try to change your train of thought and focus on something else. Getting involved in the community is a great way to redirect attention.

[Horndog]

Depression comes and goes for me. There will be times when I'm full of optimism in spite of the circumstances and there will be times when I feel uninspired, dull and alone. I think this happens to everyone. The best way to combat this is to live in the moment. If I'm down, I tend to go for a drive around my neighborhood, sit in a park somewhere and take a few deep breaths. That's what usually snaps me out of my funk.

[Teddy Bear Brian]

It's crazy. I'm really in the depth of it today. I actually signed on thinking about posting how I feel and your post was on the top of the news posts. You beat me to it. The suicidal thoughts are what get to me. I won't/don't want to act on them but they are there. I shouldn't complain really. I'm not well off but I don't starve. I have a wife who used to baby me but she just isn't interested in it anymore. I should be greatful that I have someone that doesn't hate me for my ab side but thats little consolation when you lose something you had. Thats not the root of my depression..but at one time it was something I could turn to. I could just go to sleep for a very long time. Good luck.

[curiositykilledthecat]

I don't ever have sucidal thoughts as in wanting to do it. I just think about what it will take from time to time to do it. I am too stubborn to quit trying. I think I suffer more along the lines of BPD. I've been so stressed out as of late between bills, no money and dealing with DW, I understand how you feel Dailydi. Just ahng in there, the mood swings usually turn around, it's just a matter of waiting them out.

[Mischa]

I have some big-time depression spurts where I get to the point of not wanting to wake up in the morning. The last one was earlier this week, and a couple of my coworkers along with Curi and DW pulled me through it.

[square_duck]

I have this boogy man follow me around as well, and like some, it runs in my family (2 members committed suicide) so I know it isn't any fun either. I hate the cycles too, some days I am up and others I just don't give a damn.

A thought that kind of helps me is this quote I learned a while ago:

" Everyone needs 3 things in life"

"someone to love"

"Something to look forward to"

"something to do"

It seems pretty simple, but sometimes even this seems like a daunting summit to over come.....

Hope it helps someone though

qwack

[Burp_Cup]

My wife who is interested in natural remedies, consulted her reference books and shared some info relating to depression. These are just suggestions that may help.

B-complex vitamins

Vitamin D-3 1,000 IU

Chromium

Rhodiola Rosea

A few products you may want to consider if you haven't already tried them. Wish you well!

[redneck diaper boy]

See your doctor.

I went through a bout of depression during my divorce many years ago.

The doctor put me on a drug called Effexor. It worked. I stayed on the meds for a few years and was able to get off of it.

[curiositykilledthecat]

I won't take drugs. I am actually terrified of going to a shrink now and being some how forced to take a bunch of meds when I fought so hard to deal with everything else as a teenager without help. The only thing I wouldn't mind is a mood stabilizer, however is feeling numb any better than feeling tortured?

[greatwnorth]

I Know depression well I Have been diagnosed Schizoaffective for about Ten Years now. It is kind of Schizophrenia and Bipolar disorder mixed and I have bouts of Psychosis and Manic periods and Depressive periods I take a number of Medications for it and still have bad times every once in a while. I see my shrink about once a month or sooner if needed, and have been hospilized in the psychiatric ward twice. I feel very sorry for all of you that suffer from clinical depression and just want you all to know it Does get better. talking with you all helps. Thank you.

[PArms]

"Depression may be caused by tension, upset stomach, stress, headaches, nutritional deficiencies, poor diet, sugar, mononucleosis, thyroid disorders, endometriosis, any serious physical disorder and allergies. . .The sun and bright light seem to trigger a response to a brain hormone known as melatonin, which is, in part, responsible for preventing 'the blues.' . . .Research reveals that two hours of morning sun is very effective in lifting depression.

"It has been discovered that foods greatly influence the brain's behavior. Diet is most often the cause of depression, relating to eating habits and constant snacking on junk foods. . . Eating carbohydrates alone seems to have a calming effect, while proteins increase alertness. Protein meals containing essential fatty acids and/or carbohydrates are recommended for increased alertness. Salmon and white fish are food choices. Avoid foods high in saturated fats; consumption of pork or fried foods, such as hamburgers and French fries, leads to sluggishness, slow thinking and fatigue. Fats inhibit the the synthesis of neurotransmitters by the brain in that they cause the blood cells to become sticky and to clump together, resulting in poor circulation, especially to the brain.

"A turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread is a good combination. . .A depressed person who needs his spirits lifted would benefit from eating foods like turkey and salmon.

"Beware: The body will react more quickly to the presence of sugar than it does to the presence of complex carbohydrates. The increase in energy is quickly accompanied by fatigue and depression.

"Heredity is a significant factor in depression."

Balch, James F., MD and Phyllis A. Balch, CNC Prescription for Nutritional Healing 1990. Avery Publishing Group. Garden City Park, NY. Pps 151-153.

Also, Dr Balch states for nutritional supplements: Vitamin B complex. He recommends a "raw fruit and vegetable diet, with soybeans and their byproducts. . . Diets too low in complex carbohydrates can cause serotonin depletion and depression."

[erevu]

I came across this and thought of this thread. Maybe it cheers you up, maybe you hate me for it. I never can tell.

[Yvhuce]

I won't take drugs. I am actually terrified of going to a shrink now and being some how forced to take a bunch of meds when I fought so hard to deal with everything else as a teenager without help. The only thing I wouldn't mind is a mood stabilizer, however is feeling numb any better than feeling tortured?

Shrinks won't force you to take meds. That's what the guys in white suits are for... But, seriously... Some problems can't be cured on our own, due to them being caused by chemical imbalances. Basically, what medications for mental health patients are doing is trying to restore the chemicals in the brain to their proper levels. Yes, there are often side-effects. I spent a couple of weeks seeing weird stuff when I started taking the medicine I take to be able to get to sleep. But, that lessened and eventually went away as my brain re-adjusted to the new "normal" situation. Also, as someone who suffers from excruciating migraines that just won't go away without fairly strong pain medication, I'd say that yes, feeling numb is way better than feeling tortured. I'd much rather be a bit out of it and dizzy, but otherwise being functional, than being in so much pain that it hurts to think and progressing to the point of becoming barely functional...

I was initially diagnosed with clinical depression, but that seems to have gone away with the treatment of my insomnia. It could have been that the depression was a result of prolonged insomnia over about 20 years or so.

[DailyDi]

Thanks for all the comforting words and advice! Doing better today. It's weird... have been stable for several years on lexapro, but all of a sudden I have these occasion sudden bouts of severe depression. From fine to suicidal in minutes with no obvious cause. I suspect it's related to stress from my other medical problems and am planning to see my Primarcy Phys. Tuesday about those issues and will mention the occasional break-downs.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Just discovered that a former class mate who was lazy and obnoxious is suddenly a budding musician and yet I fail at everything I put my hands to. I am at avery dark place right now, just trying to keep myself preoccupied till it passes.

[baby-dandan]

I remember a thread about this a couple years ago. There will be days that I lie in bed all day and neither eat or drink. It been so bad that I went three days in bed with no food or water! You think about getting up but something in your head says what's the point? Would it make any difference if I were here or not? A friend of mine recently went through a divorce. Before that he didn't understand what I was going through but now he is experiencing it big time! It's funny what it takes for people to actually understand how you feel. My doctor now put me on Paxil and Lamictal, and this combination seems to help pretty good. Just remember there are people out there that would do anything for you to make things better!

Pennywise-"Just for You"

"Depression closes in, you, can't escape"

"No one understands, they can't relate"

"You won't know until it hits you"

"It never goes away, you feel it every day"

"Your only hope is to change tomorrow"

"You wanna see a change for tomorrow"

"Don't you wanna see a change just for you"

"You wanna see a change before you throw it all away"

"Something is gonna break just for you"

[babyscoot]

im dealing with severe depression as speak but i ahve no acess to a doctor or med's. i over eat then under eat, hide from people in car or other rooms. cant sit still cant make any decisions dont sleep then sleep to much, the pain is unbearable. around here you can only get help if your suicidal which im not im just blue

[Mischa]

I'm bipolar and have been in a constant downspell for the past three weeks. I'm frankly at the breaking point. My mother doesn't give a shit and has threatened to kick me out. I have fallen back into the pattern of contemplating what will happen after I die.

[curiositykilledthecat]

since it's counterproductive to scream this out my apt window, i shall here. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do I always have to be the sane one with people?