I like the feeling of being helpless and out of control while being loved and cared for while I am regressed my adult brain kinda just leaves me I don't really think about anything much I just feel safe calm peaceful warm and comfortable I don't feel any sense of worry or anger or sadness or terror its while I'm an adult I feel this crushing weight of emotions and responsibilities I am either thinking about work or reflecting on all my past screw ups and mistakes and how to remiedate problems and improve myself even while doing something as simple as eating supper while my body is eating my mind is thinking how close I was to a car accident that day even though the other driver pulled out in front of me and I did hit the brakes with a good 20ft left to go I think to myself what if I had been distracted and not hit the brakes in time how could I of avoided having to slam my breaks is there a way I could have seen that car on the other side of that fence what can I do better if it happens again in the future its like my mind constantly replays every mistake and near f$$k up I've ever made in my head and I'm constantly asking myself what I could have done differently no matter how good I do my brain will always cherry pick everything wrong with it and replay it till I either make another screw up and get to relive it or find an absolutely perfect solution for the insignificant mistake be it a spelling error being 30 seconds late to 15 minutes prior to an appointment or something completely out of my control regression is my only escape from the 24/7 critique and ridicule of my own brain I really wish my brain had off an switch I could hit when I don't have anyone depending on me if anybody knows of some such off switch let me know