diapered-nicksfan

Wow, that blog has got me thinking rather deeply. I think I've been confusing what I've been searching for with what I'm feeling, if that makes sense. Most of the content I immerse myself in when attempting to understand myself on a deeper level is heavily sexualized fantasy content. I have always felt that a lot of what you see in the sissy world is in fact demeaning and sexist. It's a part of myself that I never understood and is why I'm trying to explore it. I can't deny that there are aspects of that world that turn me on sexually. Why it does when I know it's sexist is beyond me. I've struggled with sexualizing things my whole life. Seems to be something I struggle with in this life. Anyone reading this may not understand what I'm trying to say next, however: I'm searching for something with a higher and deeper meaning for myself and my path in life. A connection to my own Soul that is nothing like I have ever experienced before. I have often pondered if my view of sissy exploration is a misplaced attempt through my sexuality to consummate that deeper connection with my higher self. I have stated before that I used to be AB, but my interests have shifted more towards sissy things as of late. The common theme between them is, to me, submission. Not in a BDSM or sexual way as I have recently begun to suspect, but is part of my search for this deeper connection to life and I have sexualized it. I don't think I will find what I'm looking for in the sissy world of things either, as of this moment. My understanding of femininity, masculinity, and even submission seems to be limited due to my sexualized projections. Should knowing this give me clarity? Or is knowing this only the beginning to achieving clarity, inner piece, and understanding? I don't think I'm a "sissy", or desire to be a girl, though I believe I may need to explore that part of myself to understand, to come to that revelation. Then again, I have a nasty habit of thinking too deeply. Even so, this is ... enlightening. Thank you.

I just saw this picture and I'm fascinated by it. Two elements being mixed together in a glass. The element of water: generally associated as a feminine energy relating to emotion/passion. The element of fire: generally associated as a masculine energy relating to will/energy. When the two are mixed as depicted here, it is suggestive to me as a birth of one's desire, or the process leading to manifestation. This also makes me think of the age old question... do you see the glass as half empty or half full. My answer to that has always been with my sense of humor and a kind of "seeing things as black and white" way... it depends on if you just filled it or drank from it. If you just filled it then it's half full. If you drank from it then it's half empty. The answer requires knowledge of the preceding events. Your thoughts?

I will try that. Also it should be known that my printer sits in a dusty environment. I try to keep it clean by blowing it out from time to time. I know dust can wreak havoc on printers. Thank You

It's funny you would post that. I had this theory about folks who pick and eat. Scientific study has show us that exposure to bacteria and virus is what helps our immune system build a defense against them. I have often wondered if by eating your boogers you are in fact giving your immune system a booster of sorts. But then that's how my mind works. I think of stuff like that... random random thoughts.

DL and Other.

I have gone out in diapers on occasion. Several times I changed in a restroom. I choose single use restrooms with a locking door, and use the "standing" method of change, and only if the restroom looks like it's kept clean.

HP Officejet 4500 Desktop

To the OP, if this response is considered a thread hijack, I am VERY sorry, but I could use some third party opinions here. This is something that for me, is a major dilemma in my life right now. I'm a creative person and I love to share my ideas and I believe with all my heart that a few of them I've been sitting on for the past year would benefit the company in huge ways... First, my boss is a good man, but like me and everyone else in this world, he has his faults. His actions rarely reflect his words and his motives tend to be selfish: not what the company wants, or what would be best for the group (our store), but what he wants and is going to benefit him. I have been facing his wrath on more than one occasion as I made decisions that I know the company wants or was "doing the right thing" (another company motto). I'm his ASM btw, and will always do the right thing and am acutely aware that just because he's the boss, doesn't mean he's always right (another thing this company promotes is tactfully calling someone out on stuff like this, but that's a bad idea with him). This isn't my first rodeo in retail. I tread carefully because of past experiences and things I've witnessed. We're our DM's top performing store and are second in the region. That's a boat no one is going to rock no matter what his faults are. Squeaky wheels get greased. He was brought into this company as a SM right at about the time I was promoted to his store. Our company claims no retaliation and all this happy stuff but like I said, I'm not new, or naive. I have run smaller in store ideas past the DM when he's been around and he's liked some of them and dismissed others. He seems a bit more open. Having given that bit of background: I get what you're saying with the example of Miller. I have been contemplating sending my ideas in anyways. I don't know if I'm over thinking things or maybe I'm afraid to take a chance and burn my career, but I believe in the chain of command and not going over anyone's head. The company has an address you can send ideas to and even promotes people doing so. I have a lot of in store useful ideas but I have also had about 6 major game changing ideas that I don't think anyone at even the regional level is qualified to make as it is a direction changer for the company and could potentially make millions on the back end while simultaneously improving daily store running. Some of my ideas are product ideas that could be sold in store, some are things that if patented could be used to run our store and other companies would want, and some are marketing and advertising ideas that could improve certain sections of our stores. Hence why I believe that these half dozen ideas are something no one at the regional level is qualified to make a decision on. I've run a few of them by my DM. His reaction was basically like "I'm indulging you, but this isn't why we're here" kind of thing. Hard to explain. I try to remain objective and take constructive criticism as way to see things from another angle and improve oneself. Some of what he had to say about the ideas I presented to him had truth. Mainly concerning why the company wouldn't want to invest time into them as it's not a direction they are probably not wanting to go in. I can see that, and I could accept that, if that's what they decided. I brought my ideas to them as a matter of respect for the chain of command and hopefully to get input on how to make them better. My point of view is one thing, but if others read them and contributed, it could be a home run. No one seems interested. I'm kind of like that crazy guy who has crazy ideas and is a little of the deep end. It was something my previous store manager loved about me. He would love to have me back as his ASM and has expressed as much. He said "I think you were doing a lot more than you were being given credit for", and that was only two weeks after I left. Anyways, that's where I'm at right now. Between a rock and a hard place. I think I'm reaching a point where I'm going to send them in anyways. I just don't want to burn anyone or my career. I believe with every fiber of my being that at least one of my major ideas would be a home run and make the company a lot of money.

I don't care what anyone says, everyone does it. The question is, how far do you go? Poll results will be anonymous for embarrassment reasons.

My biggest frustration right now is working for a guy who doesn't want or care to hear any ideas I have, and I often have good ideas. Not always, some bomb, but most are really good. Doesn't matter with him, he wants none of it. The company we work for has this list of standards and values and are all about taking intelligent risks, seeking opportunities for personal and professional growth, champion ideas, value of teamwork and such. My previous store manager was a walking text book definition of these values. I was promoted and transferred to This guy's store and he is the complete opposite. It's extremely frustrating and even though I want to throw my hands up and keep my ideas to myself sometimes, I keep pushing forwards into the wall that is him. Just on principle. The one constant in the universe is change, and eventually something will change. I've begun to wonder if he's threatened by me. There's a lot of other things going on that have clued me into this question, not just the idea shoot downs. But that's a long story.

I will say this of buying adult wipes: Be careful. They tend to come in institutional scents. I didn't like that. Nothing wrong with them otherwise, just the scent. I use baby wipes for my regular everyday bathroom needs as it leaves me feeling cleaner, and I get unscented.

I always get candy when I order from ABU, but I never eat it because I get the scent too. I can't imagine those suckers tasting very good :/

We live in a sex obsessed society and have reached a point where having unprotected sex has become taboo. It is probably the writer's intent to ... bolster the moment? On one hand I agree that the mention of it seems unnecessary, but my guess is that in the writer's mind, having unprotected sex is something worth mentioning as to him it is just a bit more arousing. I guess what I'm saying is, the fact that he mentions it gives away his point of view on it. Taboo.

Robe

I don't know if anyone was wondering or if anyone even cares but yes, I was lilme. I think I would have considered who that person was as dramatic, maybe even bordering on troll status? Then again I tend to be hard on myself sometimes. I do know I ended up being banned from the chatroom so that says something about me. I won't make excuses and will leave it at this: People can and do sometimes change, and I've been going through some serious stuff these past few years. I am not who I was as an everyday person or as an AB/DL/Sissy I haven't fully discovered myself yet but I think my journey is taking me to a very beautiful place in life as I gain control of my mind and take stock of myself. For the first time in my life I am starting to feel at peace as I practice a life filled with compassion, empathy, and love. Now my journey is taking me to an understanding of what Love is. A Truth I seem to have been struggling with most of my life even though I thought I knew. What I know now for sure is that I know nothing. I am John, I'm very human, and I apologize for any aggravation I caused anyone in the past.

I have heard those now hold the record as thickest and most absorbent diaper on the market. Would love to try.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you've got a steering wheel on your pants." The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It's driving me nuts."