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Chapter 109: Setting Limits First thing Monday morning, my head was back on its swivel. Left, right, up, forward, behind. The only direction I neglected looking was down. Stupidly, I imagined my neck stretching with use making me taller. It was a silly thought, but the absurdity of it kept my otherwise negative emotions in check. What was really stupid, truly idiotic, was that every time I was ready to give up, I swore I saw something just on the periphery of my vision that made my head turn and I’d do the whole dance all over again. “What are you looking for?” Mandy asked, sounding suspicious. A bad luck of the draw had put us side by side in line. Calling the former athletic tomboy an enemy would be an extreme exaggeration; but we were neither of each other’s favorite people. “Nothing…” I lied. Is it a lie when everyone knows it? Or is it just politics? “He’s probably just peeing and hoping nobody notices,” Billy joked in front of me. “Shut up, Billy.” I said robotically. “I’m not peeing right now.” I’d already done that once before school and again after breakfast. Total wet and forget scenario. Would have stayed forgotten until Beouf or Zoge plopped me down on the changing table, too. It’s not that I was numb between my legs or had zero bladder control; it’s just that who in their right mind kept a constant tally on how many times they peed and pooped? Barring health issues and pain, most people forgot within a minute of washing their hands. For me there was no flush or handwashing, so I was starting to allow myself to forget as soon as my bladder stopped aching. If I didn’t have more important things to worry about that fact might have made me start to worry about myself. “You’re wet, though,” Billy laughed over his shoulder. Anyone with more than a day of dealing with toddlers would recognize that I was already wet. I’d been wet before Zoge took Ivy and I out to the bus loop and added to it during breakfast. The light blue and green striped romper Janet had dressed me in was especially snug between the legs. The pulp had done its job of absorbing everything I’d put into it and had had enough time to swell up. Still, my diaper was nowhere close to leaking and the snaps that ran up between my legs were holding firm. I was going to get changed at Circle Time, but only because it would be inconvenient to have to change me any other time prior to Lunch. What Billy was really looking for that Monday was a fight. Distractedly, I added to the banter and kept looking. “Pot? Did you just call your dear friend Kettle black?” We were about to go into the breezeway and then round the corner into the classroom but maybe I could see if a familiar car had pulled into the front parking lot. “Huh?” Billy said. “Pot?” Mandy rolled her eyes. “He’s saying you’re wet too.” She called back over her shoulder to Annie. “Your boyfriend is an idiot.” “I know,” Annie said. My eyes were elsewhere but I could hear the condescending smile. “He makes me laugh.” “Billy,” I heard Zoge call from Chaz’s stroller. “Eyes forward. Look where you’re going, my love.” Billy took the hint. “Clark, you too.” I stilled my head but my eyes kept going, straining to see in the direction of my ears. Damnit! Nothing! We were back in the breezeway, a brick wall to either side. A left turn would take us to Beouf’s room, but maybe I could jerk my head right and get one last peek in the parking lot. A tap on the shoulder brought me back. “Are you doing that thing, again?” Mandy asked. “Still worried what the big kids think of you?” I frowned at the absurdity. “What? No?” We’d left Breakfast so late that beyond a tardy car rider, there weren’t any actual students around to bear witness to my humiliation. “Good.” Mandy said. “You don’t look that babyish.” Easy for her to say. I couldn’t remember a time when I’d seen her dressed with anything needing snaps. Other than her diaper, Mandy tended to be dressed in clothes that my students might wear. A three or four year old’s wardrobe of shorts that weren’t quite baggy enough and skirts that weren’t quite long enough was a major upgrade from onesies, shortalls, rompers, or just the t-shirt and diaper combo. Rather than argue with her or vent or point out how she was referring to people a fraction of her age as ‘big kids’, I let it go and said “Thanks.” “What are you looking around for?” She asked as soon as we turned the corner. From behind, Ivy answered for me. “Miss Tracy’s not here today. Clark misses her.” I didn’t reply. There was no denying it. She hadn’t been at the bus loop. She hadn’t shuffled in late to the cafeteria to help with the kids at breakfast. I didn’t see any sign of her car. The only consolation I had was that Ambrose looked incredibly peeved, so Tracy’s absence probably wasn’t part of her plan. Brollish maybe…? No! Don’t think about it! Don’t think about it! Tracy was just gone. She didn’t show up today. Called in sick. Took a personal day. Or she just quit; got tired of Ambrose and Brollish’s bullshit and ran off with her man mountain of husband to start a new life. “Whoah!” Mandy said, snapping me out of my head. We were in Beouf’s room and the Amazon duo was unhooking us from the line harnesses. “Are you okay?” “Yeah,” I rasped. “I’m fine.” I was in no mood to fend off Billy or any of my other jackals. Her voice pitched down low and quiet. “You sure? You just looked like you were about to…” “Thanks. I’m good. Just…exhausted.” Exhausted was a good word for how I was feeling. A fine word. An adult word. One that was harder to pounce on than ‘tired’ or ‘cranky’. We waddled over to the front of the classroom and took our positions on the carpet. “I get it.” I stirred and looked gloomily at Mandy. Shauna was on her right, but there was another open spot on Shauna’s other side. She didn’t need to be sitting by me. “Get what?” “I get it,” she repeated. “You’re worried about your friend. That sucks.” “Yeah it does.” I kept breathing and looking down at the massive pulpy bulk squishing beneath me just so that my throat. Billy had gotten unhooked from the line first, but was still prowling around the semi-circle like a tiger in its cage looking for the perfect spot to sit. When Annie walked behind us and took the seat to Shauna’s right, leaving no room for her beau, Billy stopped and looked downright offended. Ivy plopped down on my left, wearing a soft pink dress with her legs covered up in thin white tights. It was just short of Picture Day fancy, and depending on how hot it got as the morning went on, she’d probably lose the tights by the time we got to the playground. Was that why Zoge tended to dress her daughter up so much? Were ornate and flashy baby dresses the closest thing she could fathom to letting Ivy grow up? Did that extra touch somehow make her feel better that her grown flesh and blood never got a real opportunity at life? Did she sleep better at night because at least her daughter was wearing top shelf baby gear instead of running around naked in just her diaper? That was giving Hana Zoge too much credit, I decided. I felt I understood her reasons for the awful things she’d done, but that didn’t mean she’d earned any kind of benefit of the doubt yet. Beouf high stepped over us and sat down cross legged at the head. “Billy, sit down,” she instructed. “We’re ready to begin.” In perfect choreographed harmony, we all heard the first tape on Chaz’s diaper rip from the bathroom “AH! COLD! COLD! COLD!” Zoge’s gentle laughing and cooing were less distinct from where I sat. Grudgingly, my most aggressive bully boy sat down next to Ivy and shot me a look of acknowledgement if not respect. That’s just how people like Billy were. I still had enough credibility in his mind where his antics were more friendly competition than any attempt to assert dominance. I leaned forward just enough to look past Ivy and returned the nod. Then she did the unthinkable. “I’m gonna miss Miss Tracy, too.” I stopped breathing. The full weight of that sentence was crushing my chest and I wanted to scream out in pain from it. Tracy. Gone. Forever. The last time I’d seen her was a fucking grocery store by accident and she wasn’t even in Oakshire anymore! And it was so obvious that even Ivy, a girl born and raised in a fantasy world, was emotionally aware enough that she could see the writing on the wall that I was refusing to read. Wasn’t that so like my life?! Too real! Too fucking real! Oblivious to my emotional state, or maybe not, the Little Yamatoan scooted sideways, leaned over, draped her arm across my shoulders, and pulled me in for the lightest, most gentle hug. I let her. What’s more, I hugged her back. “Thanks,” I whispered. “Welcome,” she whispered back. “EWWW! GROSS! IVY’S VIOLATING CLARK’S CONSENT AGAIN!” It all happened so fast that Beouf hadn’t gotten out the first syllable of one of her Yamatoan nursery rhymes. Ivy jerked up and away from me like she’d been caught doing something wrong. “Sorry!” she said. “Sorry! Sorry! I didn’t mean to!” She started shuffling back, trying to separate herself from me. Just the accusation of her doing something wrong was making her shake. “SHE WAS TRYING TO SUCK ON HIM!” Billy shouted. “LIKE A VAMPIRE! I SAW TEETH! TEETH I TELL YOU!” Zoge rushed out of the bathroom, carrying Chaz. “Ivy?!” Chaz was blushing like a beet. “Mrs. Zoge!” He yelled. “You forgot to button me up!” “Mommy!” Ivy shouted. “I didn’t! I didn’t mean to!” “BILLY!” I snapped. “WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE?!” Billy was trying his best not to laugh at his own cruelty. “What?! I was saving your life. Ivy was trying to give you a hickey or something. She was about to mount you, I swear! That’s how it looked!” Ivy was shaking her head like she’d been accused of murder. The first few words coming out of her mouth were “No,” but after that it melted into what might have been a combination of Yamatoan and wordless blubbering. Chaz was set down so Ivy could be picked up, and soothed; her back rubbed and her bottom patted. No longer caring that his romper wasn’t buttoned up, Chaz wasted no time taking Ivy’s spot and reached out to both Billy and myself for celebratory high five. He got one from Billy. Oh, Ivy! That poor woman! Every time she did something even remotely ‘adult’, it became a scene. She’d been conditioned to the point where even the baseless accusation of impropriety reduced her to tears. Coming from Billy, the accusation had even less credibility. I boomed, “SHE GAVE ME A FUCKING SIDE HUG, YOU ASSHOLE! I WAS FEELING BAD AND SHE WAS TRYING TO BE NICE!” Mandy and the half of the class that normally hated my guts were nodding along. “It’s true, Mrs. B. Ivy was being good!” Half a second later she remembered to say, “So was Clark.” “HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?” Billy said, seeming far more entertained than outraged. I don’t know when I climbed to my feet and stared down at Billy. I just was. “Try minding your own business just once.” I’d woken up with a short fuse already. It was dwindling down. I was done yelling. Soon, a tiny voice in the back of my brain promised, I’d be done talking. Slowly, deliberately, Billy stood up to meet me. Shoulders back, head up, and chest bowed out. He was taller than me, younger, and in better shape. The anger and frustration I was feeling on so many levels didn’t give a damn. I’d never been in a real fight before. First time for everything. Beouf did not stand up, but there was a quiet, intimidating aura that was rapidly expanding from around her. “Billy. Clark. You’re both about to make a bad choice. Do you want to make a bad choice?” We ignored her. “Ivy’s off limits,” I growled. My fists and everything below my waist was clenched, cheeks included. “Yeah?” Billy said. “Yeah,” I mouthed. “Why’s that?” He wasn’t blinking. I was trembling. Given half a day to play with my words I could have told Ivy’s story in a compact enough way to make him understand that she’d had it harder than most. Given fifteen minutes I could at least bullshit some excuse so that he’d think leaving her alone was his idea. I didn’t want that kind of time. “Doesn’t matter,” I heard myself rasp. “Ivy’s. Off. Limits.” Billy’s eyes left me, feeling pressure from the other members of our clique. Zoge and Beouf were looking at each other. Everyone else, I felt, was staring at me. “Or else, what?” “Nope,” Beouf said, snatching me up. I was on her hip and dizzy from the near whiplash. “Nuh-uh. Not doing this. Not today. Not ever. Nope, nope, nope.” She started carrying me to the bathroom. “Billy. Time-out. Clark! Diaper change, then time-out! Mrs. Zoge, take over!” Billy instantly reverted to being a kid who got his hand caught in the proverbial cookie jar. “What’d I do?” “You know what you were doing,” she said, her body radiating anger and heat. “No,” Billy lied. “I was just trying to help! Honest!” I was at ground zero watching Melony’s eyes widen and her jaw go drill sergeant stiff. “Then,” she said evenly. “It seems I need to remediate you on the difference between helping, tattling, and provoking others. We’ll do it during your playground time.” “What? NO!” The rest of Billy’s protests were drowned out by the closing of the bathroom door. I was down on the changing table, and staring up into Melony’s eyes instead of my own ridiculous reflection while she popped open the snaps on my romper. “This isn’t what I meant when I was talking about looking out for Ivy.” “He started it!” I whined. I slapped the palm of my hand over my mouth. Wow, that sounded dumb. “What else was I supposed to do?” “Ignore him,” she said, gathering up the usual changing supplies. “Don’t let him bait you.” “Oh, come-” She threw me a warning look and opened up my diaper. I lowered my voice. “How often does that work in the real world?” I sucked in my breath and bit my tongue while the cold wipes passed over me. “It’s still against school rules,” Beouf said, crossing my ankles and lifting my legs. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you’d get in if you actually got into a fight? Students being dangerous to other students is one of the few ways you could get expelled.” I crossed my arms and tried to forget the fact that a new diaper was being placed under me mid argument. “I know the student code of conduct,” I groused. “Wouldn’t Billy get expelled too?” “Who cares about Billy?” Melony asked. “I’m worried about you!” I locked eyes again and caught her blushing. The caught a glimpse of myself giving the biggest dumbest grin up at her. “Really?” “What?” she asked, pretending to be very focused on getting the tapes on my fresh Monkeez just right. “You’re gonna tell me you didn’t have favorites when you were a teacher?” “Not the point,” I said. “Agreed,” she said. “I’m very proud of you for trying to do the right thing, but there’s a right way and a wrong way to do it.” She was technically correct and I hated it. “What am I supposed to do?” “You work on just being nice to Ivy. I’ll take care of Billy. Just promise me you’re not going to do anything stupid or crazy for the rest of the day.” I huffed. “Fine. I promise.” I didn’t know it at the time, but that was a promise I wasn’t going to come close to keeping. Chapter 110: Crashing Down Time slowed down as I felt the thin bones and cartilage pop beneath my knuckles as my wild swing connected with its target. All around me screams of shock and panic rang out through the air. Heavy running footsteps thundered on the ground too late and the tiniest flecks of blood splattered onto my wrist. If I were a better liar, I’d tell you how I felt a terrible happiness, or a sense of numb peace knowing I’d sealed my fate on my own terms, or some other self-justifying bullshit. There was none of that in the then and there; only the unchecked rage of a full blown tantrum; the cathartic release of a pressure that had been building and building for weeks on end until it finally popped like a cork from a bottle of sparkling wine. I had my reasons of course. I had plenty of them. But for those few glorious moments between the reason that preceded it and the terror that followed, I had only raw red righteous anger pumping through my veins. No future. No past. No regrets. No fears. No anticipation. No pain. No tears. Just red. All of that would come later and very very soon after the popping and crunching, but in that moment, I had no such thing weighing me down or rippling out from that moment. Such reflections would only come in the micro-seconds after my fist was reeling back for a second swing. ************************************************************************************************* “Do you wanna play dollies, or racecars?” Ivy asked me at the independent play center. “Neither,” I said. We were both on our knees on the carpet next to Beouf’s kidney table, restlessly rifling through the toy selection while being careful not to make too much of a mess. We’d have to clean up anything we spilled once centers rotated again and couldn’t make so much noise that it would disturb anyone not specifically paying attention to us. “What about both?” Ivy offered. “The dollies are too big to ride in the cars, but we could have them sit on top of the roofs or something. “So you want to pretend that the dollies are Amazons and the cars belong to Littles?” “Yeah!” Ivy smiled, then frowned. “I mean, no! Little cars are not toys.” She didn’t fully believe what she was saying, but she was trying to be polite. The stroller Janet pushed me around in was bigger than the scooter I used to take to work. “No thanks, Ivy.” I said. “Good effort, though.” Ivy looked briefly crestfallen but busied herself playing with a dollhouse. My eyes scanned the toy shelf, and I felt a sour taste settle in the back of my mouth. The play center was probably my least favorite of the morning activity rotations. Being right next to Beouf’s kidney table, it didn’t have the privacy of the reading nook, and it lacked the direction and pretense of the puzzle table or the attention of either Amazon. The options were to select a toy to entertain yourself for a few minutes, and thus take ownership of that playtime, or to sit and sulk. Boredom could be a powerful motivator. I’d spent more time than I cared to recognize sitting there every day and fiddling with plastic stacking rings, or playing chicken with a jack-in-the-box set to pop before the weasel, just so I could have something to do. lBeouf and Zoge were masterful at creating scenarios where giving in and accepting perpetual infancy felt like common sense, but at the end of the day sometimes all that was really needed were toys and time. Trap someone in diapers for long enough and they’ll wet their pants. Give someone nothing to do but fiddle with useless pieces of plastic, and they’ll play. I wasn’t even an hour removed from my confrontation with Billy, so I was still stewing in it and quietly imagining scenarios where I knocked his block off. The sense of injustice for Ivy that I’d been feeling was only compounded by my own personal outrage that my hard one authority was being challenged again; publicly this time. It’s not like either of us were in an environment where we could work out and build muscle, but genetics and youth were kinder to Billy. He was a more natural athlete than me and I wouldn’t want to arm wrestler or race him. He was no Bert Braun though; and lacked the grit that years of manual labor had built on top of my father-in-law’s frame. That and he was cockier, besides. I popped my pacifier in my mouth and sucked on it, drawing comfort from the fantasy at punching the kid in the throat. All the padding that his diaper provided wouldn’t protect him from a swift kick in the balls; and he did love to spread his legs. I frowned and immediately spat the pacifier out, the rubber tasting of cognitive dissonance. Beating Billy’s ass, even if it were probable, would only get me suspended or worse. Fighting, being a clear and present danger to other students, was an easy way to get expelled. Getting expelled for violence wouldn’t just banish me from one of the few familiar places I had left to me; it’d guarantee me a ticket to New Beginnings. I couldn’t imagine a daycare would want to accept me unless I’d been properly ‘rehabilitated’. Ivy’s looked back from her doll house, her eyes starting to get red puffy again. “Did I do something wrong?” she whispered. “I’m sorry I hugged you.” What happened at Circle Time was still eating at her, too. It was strange, but that made me feel better about my decision to stand up for her. Ivy wasn’t nearly as mindfucked as I’d let myself believe. Not everything rolled off her back so easily. I gently shook my head and tried to replicate my best adult-talking-to-a-crying-kid voice. “Nuh-uh,” I whispered. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” I quickly added, “Next time, maybe ask, but I’m not mad. I would have said ‘yes’.” The Little Yamatoan spread her arms wide. “Can I have one now?” Goodness help me…. “Sure.” On our knees, on the carpet, Ivy and I shuffled forward and wrapped our arms gently around each other. “Thank you,” Ivy said. “Awwwwwww!” I let go of Ivy and backed away like I’d been caught doing something indecent. Over at the puzzle table, Mandy and Shauna were cradling their faces in their hands, and gushing like they’d seen a puppy and a bunny rabbit making friends. Right next to us at the kidney table, Tommy and Jesse were snickering behind their hands right next to us. “Keep working, everyone,” Beouf said. “You should only be worried about what is going on at your center.” Annie and Sandra Lynn were similarly redirected with a gentle tapping on Zoge’s desk. I only caught a flash of the former’s worried frown and the latter’s silly grin before I was treated to the back of their heads once more. Over by the reading nook, two beanbags jiggled as Chaz and Billy buried themselves and yucked it up. “Can I ask you a question?” I asked, face starting to boil. “Remember that story you told me this weekend? Why haven’t you told anybody else about it?” Ivy sat back on her heels and seemed to consider it. “I don’t want to.” “Don’t want to, or not allowed to?” I asked. “Don’t want to.” My hand reached sideways out of habit and I grabbed a large toy dump truck off the bottom row. I tilted the dump body up and down, trying to pour some of the anxious, angry energy I was feeling into the yellow mound of metal and rubber. “Why not?” “That would make me different,” she said. “More different,” she corrected herself. “I’m a baby, but not Adopted.” She leaned over and put a doll inside the truck’s dump bin, setting it with its arms draped over the side like it was lounging. “My Mommy is the same Mommy I’ve always had.” She leaned back and sat down on her bottom, spreading her legs. Even though she was still wearing those white tights, she fluffed out her dress to cover up as much of the diaper bulge as possible without stretching the material.. “She taught me right.” So much to unpack there, but I let the comment go out of pity. “They might be nicer to you, if they knew,” I told her. I gently rolled the truck to her and she stopped it. She waited for me to mirror her so she could roll it back. We had made a kind of pen using our legs. “I don’t think so,” she replied, softly. “People don’t like things that are different.” I caught the rolling dump truck as she passed it and turned it around. “That’s not true.” “Yes it is.” There was no hesitation there. “I was different when people thought I was a big girl and went to big girl school and my friends were mean to me. Then I went back to daycare and I stopped being different.” More than likely, I realized, that was probably because the doomed Littles in Yamatoa were either so mind fucked that they didn’t know how to be mean to her, or they had the common decency to take pity on someone who was an actual child. By the time she left the country, she’d gone through puberty, and had long been a fixture with any and all of the adult Littles already trapped there. I rolled the truck back while trying to find a way to counter her without it becoming a circular argument. “Have you tried telling other Littles before?” “Yes,” she said simply. She pushed it back without turning it around. I pushed the truck back. It went so fast and so sudden that the doll fell over. “Alright, what happened?” Ivy took a moment to prop the doll back up. “Some were nice. Lots were mean. Much opportunity for hardship. All went away when they learned they were really babies like me.” Much more gently, she rolled the toy back over to me. “Why did you tell me, then?” I asked. “You’re different, too.” That felt like an accidental insult. “No. I’m not.” “You used to be a Grown-Up,” Ivy said softly, a hint of awe creeping into her tone. I remembered the truck and kept rolling it. Using just my index finger I circled the room. “So did they,” I said. “How do you know?” Ivy held the truck. “Did you see them be Grown-Ups?” “No.” “Have they told you about them being Grown-Ups?” “N…” I stopped. “A little bit, yeah.” That was a weird question. Come to think of it, we didn’t talk so much about who we were before we had our lives ripped away from us. Snippets here and there when we were feeling really sorry for ourselves, but that was about it. “Why is that?” I wondered aloud. The Yamatoan had a strangely profound answer. “It does not feel natural to talk about who we used to be.” A bit of her mother’s accent and patter snuck into her speech. “The frog often does not think to tell its tadpoles that it too was a tadpole.” “You’re losing me, Ivy.” She passed the toy truck back. “I knew you when you were a Grown-Up. Everybody did. That makes you different, too. That’s why I told you.” At least she didn’t mention something about me sticking around forever. “What if I told everybody?” I offered. “Tell them the story you told me?” Ivy’s entire body stiffened. “Please don’t.” Wow. That had come out wrong. I held up my palms trying to make myself look less threatening. “Not what I meant. I mean, maybe there’s a way I could tell them for you so that they wouldn’t be so mean. So that they would…” I bit my lip and reached up so I could at least squeeze my pacifier like it was Lion. There really wasn’t a good way of saying I wanted to spread the pity around. I settled on, “I’m a teacher. I’m good at explaining things.” “No.” Ivy said, shaking her head. “Please no.” “Why not?” “Do you need a reason to not want a hug?” I sucked on my teeth and let the pacifier dangle again. “Point taken.” Something caught my attention from the corner of my eye. Across from the play center, on the other side of the room, was the reading nook. It was completely barricaded off from Zoge’s sight, and Beouf would have to consciously lean over in her seat to see what went on there. It’s why it was most Littles favorite place to poop if they could get the timing right. Semi-privacy and only sharing your humiliation with one other equally as doomed person. Billy and Chaz had unburied themselves from the beanbag chairs and had taken up a new pastime. They were on their knees hugging each other. That’s the excuse they would have gone with, anyhow. I could already hear Billy’s indignant voice in my head: “What? We were just hugging! Gibson and Ivy can hug but I can’t hug a friend?” Before we met, Billy already knew how to push buttons and play dumber than he really was. He and Chaz weren’t just hugging, however. The way they rubbed their hands over one another’s backs and pressed their faces together, cheek to cheek, gave off more sensual undertones. Looking right at me, they puckered their lips like dying fish, and blew kisses at me. Clark and Ivy sitting in a tree… Caught between our two stations, Mandy and Shauna looked side to side to gauge the boys’ pantomime and Ivy and my reaction. Ivy didn’t seem to notice. My face must have been something priceless, because as soon as they spied me, they used their pacifiers to muffle their giggles. My hand tightened to fist. I was gonna knock Billy’s block off. March right up to him and punch him in the nose. As soon as I stood up a familiar hand reached up and clamped onto my wrist, immobilizing me. Even if I pulled as hard as I could, there was no way I was going to escape Ivy’s grasp. “Ivy…” I leaned in and whispered. “Let go.” For my discretion I heard tiny popping sounds travel across the classroom and straight into my ears. K-I-S-S-I-N-G… “No,” Ivy said. “Don’t be bad. Don’t be naughty.” First Ivy…first then Billy. Even with all her recessive strength, Ivy would be caught off guard if I punched her in the face. Everybody had a plan until they got hit hard enough. I wouldn’t knock out any teeth, but I could shock and stun her enough to…what was I thinking? There was another play here that I wasn’t seeing, something to keep Billy off my back and give me time. I sat back down, but Ivy didn’t let go of my hand. True to form, my disciples changed their positions and held hands in mock reflection of us. Their eyelids batting and continuing to mime making out with each other with their tongues flapping out of their mouths disgustingly. Billy reached out and groped Chaz on the chest. Chaz threw back his head in fake ecstasy. “Billy! Chaz!” Beouf called from her kidney table. “This is your one chance before I call your parents!” “But we weren’t doing anything!’ Billy lied, poorly. “I don’t want to hear it, young man.” “You can’t even see what we’re doing!” Beoufs head motioned to me and then the girls muffling themselves with rubber dummies. “I don’t need to. I can see what everyone else is doing.” She looked over the top of me and straight towards Ivy. Her eyes doubled back on her hand over my wrist. “Good girl, Ivy. Let him go.” Evidently, no one was nearly as quiet as they suspected. Billy and Chaz finished out that particular center rotation glaring at me over the top of large hardback children’s books. Their gaze was unblinking and unforgiving, as if I’d been the one to tattle on them and break some kind of code. I’d only wanted to break Billy’s stupid face; maybe boot Chaz in the ribs or something. When the timer went off and we were supposed to go pull the latest symbol off of our visual schedule, my two disciples were slow approaching. Tommy crawled alongside Chaz, the pair looking like a couple of dire wolves on the prowl. FLICK! A painful, stinging thud lit my left earlobe up. Without thinking I covered my ear with my hand. Tommy, of course. I knew it before I whirled around. The wolf imagery was entirely accurate: Pack tactics. Bullying by numbers. I’d created monsters that I could not control; whose only sense of loyalty was based on who helped them feel good about themselves and inflict pain on others. How fucking immature! I understood Ivy’s hesitance. With how they were now, Ivy would be even more of an Amazon to them, and the rules of the game I’d created were to frustrate the Amazons and their Helpers as much as possible at every turn no matter how self destructive. Wait a second! Game! A bolt of inspiration struck me! “Ow,” I said, rubbing my ear. “Good one!” “Thanks,” Tommy said. He blinked and realized what he’d just admitted to. “One what?” I threw in a conspiratorial wink. “Good,” I said, leaning in. “Just don’t overdo it. I don’t want them to guess.” Then, because I was still extremely petty, I stealthed my arm up to the other side of Tommy’s head and flicked the bottom of his ear. “Ow!” Tommy jumped back, rubbing his ear. “Clark,” Melony gave away who she was watching, “that’s your last warning, too. Your Mommy is a lot closer than everybody else’s, young man.” “Yes, Mrs.B!” I chirped back, filled with fake sunshine. Tommy took the next symbol off of his schedule and stared at me. “What are you talking about? Who are we trying to fool?” I took my own token, and turned my hands to the side of my face to create lip-reading blinders. Using only my breath, I mouthed the word, “Ivy”. A malicious spark lit up in Tommy’s eyes. I had him hooked! I put down my hands and saw him rattle his head. “No,” he mouthed. I didn’t need to look over my head to know that I’d just been spared a second salvo from another member of the A.L.L.; probably Billy. ******************************************************************************************************** Annie came and sat across from me during snacks, right on cue. “What are you doing?” she asked me, point blank. “I’m sitting here with my new friend, Ivy.” I said. “Would you like to join us?” The only girl member of the A.L.L. narrowed her eyes. “Suuuure.” She was suspicious, but receptive. Word about what I’d said to Tommy had gotten around to the rest of the group in between center rotations. Being the most emotionally intelligent of my crew, Annie had come to verify for herself. Thank goodness. If there was a con, she’d be the one to sense it. If something needed to get broken down in a language that even Billy could understand, she’d be the one to translate. Meaning if I could sell Annie on leaving Ivy alone, she’d do the rest of the work for me. “So…” Annie said. She gestured across the table. Ivy hadn’t left my side. “This is new. I heard you had a lot of fun together at the Fall Festival.” “Yes,” Ivy agreed. “Lots of fun. Then Clark came over to my house and we played.” “Oh really ?!” Annie looked like she wasn’t sure if she should be interested, amused, or offended. Perhaps all three. Whatever it was, she smiled in a way that vaguely reminded me of Brollish. I returned the look, and babbled like an idiot, never breaking eye contact. “Oh yeah. Lots of fun. We bounced in the bouncy castles a whole lot! Just us Littles! My Mommy forgot to unbuckle my leash, but then Ivy did it for me.” Annie’s smile slowly mutated into something more genuine. She looked directly at Ivy. “You did?” Ivy blushed and looked away, smiling from the look of admiration on her peer’s face. “Yeah.” My strategy was elegant in its simplicity. Ivy had grabbed my attention when I realized her strength could be used for more than just keeping Littles from running away in the bus loop. All I had to do to get her some social breathing room was sell the idea that staying on her good side could be valuable in the future. Ivy was too trusting and obedient on the whole to be a lookout, a schemer, or an instigator; but a Little that could remove Amazon strength diaper tapes was a golden flying unicorn that crapped rainbows. One would have to be an idiot to not see the potential there. It was a lie of omission, one that played on selfishness and the fantasy of escape, but it would work in the short term. Speaking of short term, finding a way to manipulate my classmates towards my own constructive ends was keeping me from losing my temper and worrying about Tracy. “Hey, Ivy,” I said. “Maybe your Mommy needs help passing out snacks?” The Little Yamatoan looked weary, suspicious even. I got so close that I was practically kissing her. “Don’t worry,” I promised. “I’m not gonna tell her the story.” Ivy leaned back away from me. “Pinky swear?” I wrapped my smallest digit around hers. “Pinky swear.” Ivy got up and waddled over to Zoge by the snack cabinets. Annie and I scanned the room to make sure Beouf was busy passing out paper towels. “Seriously?” she asked. I nodded. “Yeah. She’s that strong. I saw it myself.” Annie’s eyes glazed over with envy and a kind of greed like mine had no doubt been. It wouldn’t take much more to reel her in. And where Annie went, Billy and the others would follow like dominoes. A knock at the back door interrupted my sales pitch. No one said “come in”, but it creaked open anyway. “Hell-o,” an unfamiliar voice called in. “Knock-Knock. Can I come in?” An Amazon stepped inside the classroom carrying plastic cartons stacked on top of each other. “Is this Mrs. Beouf’s room? The baby room?” My eye twitched. For obvious reasons, I did not like this woman, with her bleached blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail so tight that I could see her roots. For half a second, I thought it was Helena Madra, but Amy’s Mommy had less severe features, and paler skin. There was a resemblance, but only in the broadest strokes; like two actors auditioning for the same role. This woman, wearing a bright red suit with a stiff skirt that went all the way down to her ankles and thin rimmed dark sunglasses perched on top of her head, had an air of entitlement and authority about her. Like most Amazons, I could tell she was very used to getting her way. I didn’t think she was a school board member, but she could have been some kind of nebulous regional official; an unelected supervisor from the county. If it were later in the year, I could see the cupcakes being some kind of Teacher Appreciation stunt, but it wasn’t even Winter Break yet. Something in the back of my mind was brewing. Why did she seem so familiar? Beouf looked up from passing out paper napkins and walked to the back of her classroom. “Hello,” she smiled. “How can I help you?” The stranger extended her hand in greeting. “Hi there. Martha Dunwhich,” she said as if that was supposed to mean anything. Dunwhich? That did mean something, but not to Beoufl Beouf took her hand and shook it. “Melony Beouf, pleased to meet you, ma’am. What can I do for you?” I popped my pacifier in my mouth and started working it furiously, biting and gnashing it. I stared down at the activity table and did everything I could to slow my breathing. This woman was largely a stranger to me, but I’d met her before. “My daughter Emily’s birthday was yesterday,” the Amazon said. “She’s four years old!” “Congratulations,” Beouf said. She was being polite, but I could tell she was annoyed. A parent not connected to any of your students in interrupting your class- who wouldn’t be? “And I wanted to let her celebrate her big day with all of her school friends,” the intruder droned on. “But, I seemed to have bought too many cupcakes for the class and I wanted to see if your students wanted the extra.” A murmuring broke out around me. Free sweets were free sweets. They were Amazon sized too; they were practically burgers with chocolate frosting on top. They probably weren’t spiked, but if they were, who cared? We were all padded up and denied potty privileges as it was. Nothing to lose. I didn’t join in. Martha Dunwhich was the last parent I’d gotten to interact with before I had my accident right there in the I.E.P. meeting. Her last words to me were,, “Why are you pooping your pants?” in the most condescending tone ever. “That’s very generous,” Beouf replied. “We were just about to have snacks, but that’s a lot of sugar for their tummies.” Groans of protest erupted out of the mouths of my classmates.. “Oh no no,” what should have been my student’s parent said. “I totally agree. I’m not saying you have to pass them out now. Mrs. Ambrose isn’t having our party until after lunch.” She gestured behind her to what was supposed to be my classroom. “I’ve got two more tins over there. You can have these and do whatever you want with them.” I heard, but did not see Beouf hem and haw semi-theatrically. “What do you think Mrs. Zoge?” “I think it would be a very nice treat for them,” Zoge paused. “On the playground. After naps. If they’re good.” “Sounds like a plan,” Beouf said. I looked up to the sound of resounding cheers as my mentor took the confections out of the intruder’s arms. I was gripping the edge of the table like it was a lap bar on a roller coaster. I wanted this to be over. I wanted this giant bitch to leave and get on with my day. I wanted to find ways to trick and manipulate my friends old and new so that none of them were mean to each other. I wanted to not think about my classroom and the eerie silence that was emanating from it and what that might not mean. I wanted to not accidentally hope that that might mean Tracy had come back in. Annie did a double take looking from me to Dunwhich and back. She saw the look of recognition in my eyes “Clark, who’s that?” “Clark?” Dunwhich repeated it. “Clark Gibson?” She peered past Beouf and into the center of the room where I was sitting. Eye contact was made and I froze. She slipped past Beouf and hunkered down at the side of the table so that she was my eye level, gawking at me “Oh my gosh! You’re so cuuuuute!” she trilled. I bit down on rubber and gripped the table, doing my best to avoid eye contact. Mission Failed. She just leaned in, grinning like Janet had on that first awful day. “Look at you! In your romper, enjoying your paci.” “Ma’am…” Beouf interjected. My friend’s politeness was outright ignored. I felt a hand reach under the table and grip at my feet. “Do you have widdle booties on? No. But that’s okay.” Her hand shot back up over the table and wrenched my cheek. “I bet you’re so much happier now that you’re out of those big boy clothes and have a Mommy or Daddy to take care of you instead of a yucky job.” WHOMP! Everyone froze. Beouf’s eyes went wide with surprise. My fist slammed the table so hard that it thundered. I hadn’t even thought to do it. It just happened. “Whoah,” Dunwhich said, standing back up and out of range of my swings. “ Someone’s cranky!” She wagged her finger at me. I couldn’t tell if she was mocking me or genuinely believed what she was saying. “Remember what your teacher said. Only good babies get cupcakes.” Beouf side stepped in between us. “Ma’am. Please don’t put your hands on my students.” That ‘I want to speak to your manager’ energy I’d sensed started to boil and bubble up to the surface. “I was only saying how cute he was!” Then as if everyone hadn’t figured it out she swelled with pride and said. “I was there when he pooped his pants, right in front of me. Didn’t even notice it or care until I pointed it out!” I expected laughter but heard none, and it had nothing to do with the ringing in my ears. “I think he’s in a much more appropriate placement now, don’t you?” “I understand,” Beouf said, “but do you know his Mommy?” “No, why?” “Would you want anyone you didn’t know or approve of putting their hands on…on…” “Emiwy,” I mumbled past my pacifier. “Would you want anyone you didn’t approve of putting their hands on Emily?” Beouf repeated. “Especially when she was a baby and couldn’t decide to say no to anyone?” The intruder started to object. “Of course not. I went through three nannies because of…” she stopped as the gift of self-awareness loomed its ugly head. “Oh. But this is different.” “How?” “I wasn’t hurting him…” she sounded unsure. Possibly because I hadn’t stopped rubbing my throbbing cheek since she released me. “Oh. Oh.” She took a step back. “He’s just a Lit…” she stopped herself and Zoge walked over to open the back door a little wider, making it creak. “Oh, baby,” she said to me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” I remained mute. “Thank you for the cupcakes, ma’am.” Beouf said politely yet curtly. “My class will enjoy them.” Dunwhich regained some composure. “You’re very welcome. I’m going to get back to the preschool room.” “Good idea.” There was silence after she closed the door. No one said a word. We either didn’t dare or didn’t know what to say. “You handled that very well,” Melony told me. I didn’t recoil at her touch when she petted me top of my head. “For group story time today,” Zoge quietly suggested, “perhaps we should get one of the story books about how it’s okay to say ‘no’ sometimes.” “Yeah,” Beouf nodded. She removed her glasses, and rubbed her temples. “And Mrs. Zoge?” “Yes, Mrs. Beouf?” “Let’s cut the cupcakes in half. Half now, half later.” A raucous cheer went up at that. ************************************************************************************************************ Things were looking up all the way until Lunch that Monday. Gears were turning in motion as far as my social life, and I was running on a major sugar high. Amazon cupcakes…holy fuck, those things were loaded with enough sugar to give a bull elephant diabetes! Close to two hours later and everyone was still buzzing like we’d downed three mugs of coffee. I lied to myself and said I was going to insist that Janet put on that yoga video we’d found as soon as I got home. The only thing I was really looking forward to was getting the other half of one of those cupcakes. Even Ivy was bouncing up and down in her seat. “Nap time is going to be a bust,” Beouf called over to Zoge as they sat us in our communal highchairs. “It was a mistake,” Zoge agreed, “but it was a good mistake.” “Does that mean we can have more?” I asked while the bibs were busy being tied on and the trays of toddler friendly cafeteria food were being wheeled out. My mentor gave me a look and the vaguest hint of a smile played at her lips. “What?” I said. “Sugar us up, let us run around, and put us on the bus. We’re not your problem after the bell rings.” Beouf spooned up what could generously be called pasta and zoomed some towards my mouth. “I have to deal with you.” I took the concoction that was at least fifty percent heated ketchup and swallowed. “Yeah, but I’m not a problem. I’m friggin’ adorable.” If my old friend had been drinking milk it would have squirted out her nose. “Booger,” she grinned and switched to Ivy’s bowl. “It’s a good thing I love you.” “Do you love me, Mrs. B?” Tommy asked. “Can I have a cupcake?” This resulted in a chain reaction. Everyone wanted to be loved by the teacher all of a sudden if it meant getting the other half of that cupcake. “You’ll all get the other half if you keep being good,” Beouf promised. She stuck a spork into some limp over cooked green beans and slid them towards Tommy’s lips. “Eat your veggies, baby boy.” Twenty minutes in, when the majority of the cafeteria had already cleared out, I realized something. Still no sign of Tracy. Also no sign of Ambrose or any of my kids. I could have sworn I saw them walk through the lunch line, same as always. Had they finished already? “Mrs. B,” I asked, “Where’s Miss Tracy’s class?” Beouf looked behind her and paused. “Huh. I don’t know. Maybe they’re doing something special for the birthday girl or something.” That was a hard line of logic to follow. The idea that Ambrose might do something fun or special for one of her students felt like such a stretch because it wasn’t promoting abject misery and terror. Given her druthers I could see Ambrose stuffing her face with the cupcakes in front of her students and forcing them to watch in silence. That or conducting academic death matches to decide who gets a bite of frosting. There was also Emily’s mother to factor in. Dunwhich didn’t seem in a hurry to leave and without Tracy, Ambrose might have seen the benefit of allowing a parent volunteer. I could also very much see Dunwhich complaining to the principal if her daughter wasn’t given the princess treatment on the day after her special day. “Anybody need an emergency change?” Beouf asked Zoge while we were being hitched together on the line leash. “Nothing that can’t wait until we get back to class,” Zoge said, tying me and Ivy together. “Okay then,” Beouf said, leading the front. “Let’s go back and try to take a nap,” A giddy punchdrunk giggle made its way through the ten of us. We waddled through the back door underneath the blow fan, and a yawn bellowed out of me. Sugar crash and a full stomach was finally starting to kick in. A nap might be easier than Beouf anticipated. We rounded the back corner out of the cafeteria as we always did and any chance of me allowing unconsciousness to claim me. Beouf had been correct: Ambrose was doing something special with the class. Three and four year olds wore pointy party hats with elastic string chin straps holding them to the top of their heads. They sat cross legged on picnic blankets with disciplined expressions on their faces while a boombox was put on a chair blasting bland generic party music. The overbearing helicopter parent who I’d been humiliated in front of walked from student to student, her daughter Emily pointing out which classmate of hers got which cupcake. The moment a child was given their dessert, all pretense and discipline left them and they shoved the massive baked good into their tiny mouths. “What do you say?” Mrs. Dunwhich asked. “Fankoo!” the child gushed with crumbs and frosting spilling out of their mouths. “And…?” “Happy Birfday Emwy!” At a glance, it was kind of nice, actually. Nothing too flashy or over the top. Kids getting some very basic manners lessons and a treat. I spotted a box of loose sidewalk chalk just out of reach of the picnic blankets. So the kiddos would get some play, too? Ignoring the fact that that had once been my supply of chalk, I actually felt happy for my kids. But there three people missing from the picture: Tracy, Elmer, and Ambrose. I knew where Tracy was, or rather wasn’t, but where were Elmer and Ambrose? I got my answer right as we finished walking past the cafeteria. Around the opposite corner from the one we’d circled around, near the front of the cafeteria, and just across from the entrance of the preschool classroom, Ambrose was down on one knee and growling at a red faced and crying Elmer. Ambrose’s voice was too low for me to understand what she was saying, and Elmer’s distress had advanced to the point where all he was doing was shaking his head and blubbering, but I had a very good idea of what was going on; and it was very…very bad. Elmer, my poor Tweener student had snot coming out of his nose and he was gripping onto his pants like it was a life raft in shark infested waters. Despite that he couldn’t hike them up far enough to hide the diaper bulge beneath his clothes. Elmer was completely potty trained, though. But Ambrose was holding out one hand and pointing at the ground with the other. She’d diapered him again, and was demanding that he take off the one bit dignity that was left to him. No clue why. His clothes were no more messy than anybody else’s his age; cleaner in fact. Poor kid hadn’t even had a cupcake yet if his clothes were any indication. Not a trace of frosting on his face or fingers. Beouf turned her head towards the noise. I saw her frown and mutter something to herself. The line stopped with her for just a second, but we kept walking. Office politics. Making a child cry, even one as sweet as Elmer, wasn’t a breach of professional conduct. Neither was putting a diaper on a child who ‘needed it’ at teacher discretion. Brollish might even let public humiliation slide if Ambrose dressed it up in the right way. It’s not like anyone else would stand up for the poor kid. Enough was enough. I reached forward and flicked the air. “Tommy,” I whispered. Tommy flinched and looked over his shoulder. “I’m about to do something awesome, tell Billy in front of you to get ready.’ He looked doubtful but I ignored him and tapped Ivy beside me on the shoulder. “Ivy,” I hissed over to her. “Undo my buckle! Hurry!” We were approaching the breezeway and fast. “What?” Ivy whispered back, sounding afraid. I was asking her to do something she knew was against the rules. “Don’t worry,” I promised. “You won’t get in trouble. I’ll say I tricked you. Just do it! Hurry!” “But I-” “I’ll do whatever you want,” I interrupted. “I’ll let you hug me as hard as I can. You can kiss me on the cheek whenever you want. Or the lips, I don’t care!” I jostled the immovable buckle around my torso and legs. “Just get me out of this thing!” Real, tangible fear lit up the Little Yamatoan’s expression .“Can’t you wai-?” “Ivy!” I cut her off,, my cheeks feeling suddenly wet. “There’s a little kid back there, a real little kid, who is being picked on, Ivy! He’s being picked on because he’s different for things that he can’t help! And you’re the only one that can help him.” I tugged again at the buckle. “Now, Ivy!” Deceptively strong yet tiny hands shot out and squeezed the release latch. I slipped out of the harness and sprinted back towards the cafeteria before the woven tether touched the cement.. Everything went into slow motion while my heart pounded fire into my veins. Zoge cried out and reached out to try and stop me, calling my name. Chaz’s laughter mixed with her screams and he rocked back as hard as he could in the moving stroller, forcing her to try to break his fall or stop my escape. Heads must have whipped around fast enough to break the sound barrier and cries went out with “Clark!” being shouted out the way most people screamed “Fire!” Heavy footsteps were cut short with confused shouts of “Look out!” and crocodile tear cries announcing Annie and Billy entering the fray, tripping up Beouf, yanking around the rest of the class, and generally getting underfoot so that she couldn’t catch up in time. Already, Tommy was shouting something along the lines of “Ivy did it! Ivy!” Screams and laughter. Screams and laughter. Would be anarchists and brats, model prisoners and babies all raising their voices as sacred routine, ritual, and daily transition were broken. To some it was glorious. to others, terrifying. Along the side of the building, pudgy frosting covered hands pointed at my approach while the one other adult was busy trying to select the perfect cupcake for her precious princess. I didn’t consciously hear or see any of that. I only pieced it all together after the fact. Tunnel vision and hearing had me. A primal, vicious instinct took over. The one coherent word out of my mouth was a bellowing “HEY!” causing Ambrose to look right at me. No satisfaction filled me while my fist collided perfectly with her snout of a nose. No thoughts of how I was ending it all by swinging as hard as I could and bopping this finless dead eyed shark as hard as I could. My face wasn’t capable of expressing any joy while bones and cartilage crunched and bits of blood came away onto my knuckles. There’s an old saying: “Show me a man who resorts to violence, and I’ll show you a man who’s run out of good ideas.” I guess I’d just run out of good ideas… Time sped up when I drew back my fist. “MOTHER! FUCKER!” Ambrose covered her face and roared. I went to swing again but before I could a meaty paw of a hand smacked me across the face and knocked me off my feet. My ears rang and my breath raced out of my chest while my body collided with the ground, my skin burning as my arms skidded across the rough concrete. This must have been what it was like to get kicked in the head by an emu or something! Dizzy and bewildered I started flying, being hoisted up in the air, jerked around as if by a crane, my face hovering over the ground as tendrils of lightning started sparking against my backside. I was three spanks in before it finally registered to my body what was happening. More screaming and shrieking and crying. None of it from me because I didn’t have the air to do it. My lungs contracted but would not inhale. My body kicked and tensed and flopped but had no more potency than a ragdoll. Lion would have taken a better beating. The only signs of life my body provided were the tears, snot, and piss that were getting beat out of me while I agonized with every cell of my brain and body certain that this was the end. I was going to die. Everything was over. I was going to die. In mind if not body. Body too, more than likely. The ogre was going to beat me to death, I was sure. “PUT HIM DOWN!” came Beouf’s roar. It still sounded far away. Everything sounded far away. More cries from all around me, but the pain didn’t stop. The thundering blows rained down on me like falling meteorites, and I just went limp. “STOP!” “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” The screams, shouts, and protests all mixed together into a chaotic dirge. Classroom doors opened, and onlookers peered out into the bubbling chaos. Littles, students, and teachers added their voices to the song. “HOLY FU-!” THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! “STO-!” THWACK! THWACK! “SOMEBODY GET THE PRI-!” THWACK! THWACK! “CLAR-!” THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! “SOMEBODY CALL THE CO-!” THWACK! “GIBSO-!” THWACK! “DON’T-!” THWACK! THWACK! “SOMEBODY GET MISS GRA-!” THWACK! “I’M FILM-!” THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! “PUTA! PUT THAT LIT-!” THWACK! “BOSS!” WHOOMF! The world blurred forward for a few feet. The sound of flesh being struck still thundered in my ear for a few seconds, but no direct pain registered. I was beyond pain, now. Something had changed though.. I was on the ground, again, but couldn’t see anything. Something, or someone was huddled over me, wrapping me up, shielding me. I breathed in and my lungs felt like they were stabbing me from the inside with thousands of tiny needles. A ragged gasping cry gurgled out of me. And it happened again. And again. And again. All the while, my savior held me closer and tighter, squeezing me gently and supporting my head, pressing me up close to them; almost cradling me. “GET AWAY FROM MY WIFE!” I heard a deep, masculine voice crack the air like thunder. “YOU DO NOT EVER….EVER!...PUT YOUR HANDS ON A STUDENT LIKE THAT!” Another voice screamed. “HE BOKE MUH DOSE! DUH IDDUH BAT BOKE MUH DOSE!” “IS THAT MIST-?” “DID YOU SEE THAT?!” “THAT LITTLE JUST RAN UP TO HER AND-!” “IS HE O-?” “BACK INSIDE CHIL-!” “WHY DID HE-?!” “WHY WAS SHE-?” “CLARK?!” Through my continued wailing and impact scrambled brain cells I was unable to recognize any of the myriad of voices that were screaming their outrage for and against me. The first voice I actively recognized was the one nearest to me, with her body directly on top of mine, shielding me as best she could from further blows. “It’s okay, Boss,” Tracy whispered softly to me. “I’ve got you. Don’t worry. I’ve got you. I’ve got you, Boss. I’ve got you.”

Chapter 62: Three Letters I was awake before Mom had come to get me out of the crib and change me. If not for the fact that yesterday had been New Year’s Day, I wouldn’t have a good sense of what day it was. Christmas break had been a blur, but I as laid in the crib, I was reasonably certain that today was the first day back in school. Mom had not addressed the topic of school, not since two days ago, when I had proven once and for all that I wasn’t capable of being a big girl. The preschool Emilia was graduating into this January when she turned four didn’t take kids that weren’t potty trained. Why should the standards for a high school be any different? And did I even want to go to school? The thought of having to face Samantha and Desi again, and Lisa, after what I’d said and done to alienate them, terrified me. The only justification for my behavior that I could give was the one thing I could never allow them to find out about me. After being put back in diapers following my failed foray into wearing underwear, I had paid no attention whatsoever to my bladder or bowel functions. If I needed to go, I went. And I often went without realizing that I needed to go. There was no longer any question that the diapers were sorely needed. The pacifier Mom had placed in my mouth after tucking me in had fallen out to the side of the crib. I picked it up and put it back into my mouth, focusing on the soothing sensation of my lips and tongue on the rubber nipple. My diaper was soaked, but at least Mom had put pajama pants over it the other night, which both kept my legs warmer and prevented the diaper from getting too saggy. The sun inched higher in the sky, a few rays peeking into the bedroom from the gaps in the blinds. Across the room, Emilia was still sound asleep in what had used to be my bed. It was still far too big for her. She was practically swallowed up by all the blankets and sheets. Creaky footsteps in the hallway. I closed my eyes, pretending that I was still asleep. The door inched open. Mom always got Emilia up first, making sure to remind her to use the potty before sending her along to the kitchen where a bowl of her favorite cereal had already been poured for her along with a glass of milk. Before two days ago, it would have greatly irritated me if Emilia had been around during the morning diaper change, and I would have been grateful to see her leave the room before Mom moved on to getting me up for the day. Now, I wouldn’t have cared if she had stuck around. Our roles were fully reversed. She was the big girl; I was the baby. Mom sometimes changed my diaper before breakfast, but other times she would wait until I had finished eating. I was already picturing how nice a fresh diaper would feel against my body when I felt her hands on my shoulder, gently stirring me awake. “It’s time for a baby to have her breakfast.” That’s fine. I could wait until after breakfast for the diaper change. Mom opened the sliding door to the crib and helped me out. I got down on my hands and knees without needing to be asked. Babies crawl to where they need to go. That was the other reason I was glad to have pajama pants on, as that helped cushion my knees as I trailed behind Mom to the kitchen. Once in the kitchen, I stood up, but only briefly, as I got myself into the old wooden highchair. Emilia was too busy trying to trace a maze on the back of the cereal box to give me any attention. Some dirty plates next to the sink told me that Mom had already gotten her breakfast before getting us out of bed. I opened my mouth complacently as she spooned in cereal. She hadn’t bothered to put on a bib, as I would be changing out of my pajama shirt, anyway. There were dribbles of milk all over the front of it. It was only baby talk for me so far. Lots of trains and airplanes and bumblebees all making their way into my mouth as Mom lifted the spoon to my face. Nothing yet about what was going to happen for school after breakfast. I belatedly realized that I hadn’t done any of the assigned readings for the break. That meant I’d have to suffer through some pop quizzes and hope that I could make the right multiple-choice guesses. I opened my mouth wide for the last bite of cereal as Mom made train noises while sliding the spoon into my mouth. My diaper was likely at its breaking point now, judging from how much warmer it felt compared to when I had first sat down in the highchair. There was another journey along the hallway floor as I went back to the bedroom. Mom had everything prepared for the diaper change on Emilia’s bed by the time I arrived. That answered one question. I would be wearing a diaper today. But it left many more, and I would need to wait until Mom provided an explanation. Something was off about the diaper as I stood up, ready to lie down on top of it. In the middle of the diaper, on top of its padding, was another long strip that looked to be made of the same absorbent material inside the diaper. A booster pad? That was all I could think it would be. These diapers were already incredibly absorbent. With a booster pad, I could probably stay in one diaper the entire school day without changing. That answered another one of the questions swirling in my mind. At least I wasn’t going to have to worry about rushing to get the hall passes. But I shuddered involuntarily at the thought of what my diapered bottom might look like by the time I was in my final class of the day. At least it was extremely rare for me to poop during school. I’d somehow mentally trained my body to not need to do that when I was away from home. As I settled in on the diaper, it took a second to adjust to how it was going to feel to have the extra padding between my legs. I wasn’t going to be running around a lot, either. Mom applied the baby cream, and then a thorough sprinkling of baby powder as well. She had only used both before at night, another sign that I should expect to be in this diaper for a long time. I felt Mom’s fingers press firmly against my waist as she ensured the plastic tapes were snug. What was she going to put on me? Had to be a dress. Anything else either wouldn’t fit over the diaper or would obviously expose it to my classmates. My pajama shirt with the milk splatters on it came off, tossed successfully into the hamper. But it was replaced, not with a dress, but with a short-sleeved t-shirt, and Mom helped me off the bed without putting anything else on me. She had held me out of school before, but only for a day at a time, when I had been wearing diapers for a day as a punishment for having too many accidents in my pull-ups. Is that what was happening now? I looked up at Mom quizzically. But to ask the question I wanted to ask, I’d need to use big girl words, and, as far as I knew, those were still off limits. The crib door was still open. The blankets had been straightened out and pulled to the side, ready for me to lie down. “It’s time for a baby to lie down for a nap.” Mom held my hand and led me to the entrance to the crib. I wouldn’t have to go to school. I wouldn’t have to do any homework. I wouldn’t have to face Samantha, Desi, and Lisa. I crawled into the crib without some difficulty, as it was hard to do so with the thicker diaper. But then I was on my back. Mom pulled the blanket over me. But I was missing something. It took me a second to realize what it was. My mouth felt empty. “Mommy. Paci.” My high-pitched whine echoed in the bedroom. A moment later, a pacifier was in my mouth. “Mommy is going off to work now.” She was standing next to the crib, having shut the door. “I’ll be back during lunch break. I’ve told the school you are being homeschooled for this semester. That will end when you decide you want to be a big girl again.” The pacifier spared me from making any response, even if there was little that could be expressed with baby talk. I couldn’t imagine ever wanting to be a big girl again. I needed my diapers. I couldn’t imagine being able to live without them. “This,” Mom said, as she set something on the dresser, “is so you don’t get into any trouble until I am back home.” I looked closely at what Mom had placed on the dresser. It was a nanny cam. The one she had used to monitor Emilia when she was a baby. It connected via the internet to Mom’s phone, so she could watch it from anywhere. I felt a twinge of annoyance. Not because Mom was monitoring me, but that she somehow still didn’t trust me. Didn’t she understand that I knew now that I was a baby? That I knew that I wanted to wear diapers? Mom left the bedroom without saying anything else. I wondered if that was going to be it before she came back for lunch. Instead, she returned with two baby bottles, both filled with apple juice. She set them inside the crib. That would be more than enough to make sure I didn’t go thirsty until lunch time. And, with the extra padding in the diaper, there would be no issues with any leaks until I was changed again. But I wasn’t thirsty quite yet. Not with all the milk I’d had with my cereal for breakfast. I kept the pacifier in my mouth and closed my eyes, not even opening them as Emilia darted into the bedroom and Mom got her dressed for preschool. I shouldn’t have been tired, but something about laying back down in the crib with the pacifier in my mouth was making me sleepy. My diaper was wet by the time I drifted off to sleep. --- Wake up. Breakfast. Diaper Change. Nap. Diaper change. Lunch. Play time. Diaper change. Nap. Diaper change. Dinner. Playtime. Diaper change. Bath. Bedtime. Repeat. Repeat. And repeat some more. What day was it, anyway? The weekends helped. Sort of. Though the routine for them often ended up following a similar pattern, anyway. How many weekends had even passed since Mom had pulled me out of school with the excuse of homeschooling me? Was it even January still? I didn’t know. Mom still asked me occasionally about whether I was a big girl or a baby. The answer was always the same. I was a baby. The evidence of that grew day by day. But none of those questions really mattered. Those were things a big girl worried about. I was a baby who still wet and messed her diaper, and I needn’t concern myself with any of those things. I hadn’t realized how much stress I had been under the past several months until I had finally experienced what it was like to not being dealing with any of it. All the anxiety from what I had to do to manage my bladder. Being depressed about my failures to re-potty train myself. My jealousy both at Lisa’s successes and Samantha’s ease at accepting her own strange need for diapers. Everything that had combined to make that first semester of school a complete hell for me. There was no stress for me now. Not as I lay in my crib in a wet diaper with a pacifier in my mouth. Babies don’t feel stress. Babies don’t make decisions. Babies don’t have any rules to follow or punishments for being disobedient. Babies don’t need to do anything for themselves. Babies simply exist. Did I even miss anything from my former life? Did I miss school? I couldn’t say that I was feeling any strong urges to do math homework or sit through boring classes. And I was sure my former friends were getting along just fine without me. I’d done enough to alienate them. I doubted any new messages were arriving on my phone, which probably hadn’t been powered up in who knew how long. No, this situation was better, especially for a girl who wasn’t potty trained. How would I even go about wearing a diaper at school in the first place? Or explaining how I had made a stinky mess in it during the middle of math class. I couldn’t clean that up by myself. I don’t think the nurse was paid enough to do that for me. There was a rumbling sound in my stomach, a tightening sensation in my abdomen. Then it was gone, followed a few seconds later by a hint of a pungent odor emanating from the diaper. I was no longer bothered by messing myself. That’s just what babies did. My body told me that I needed to poop and so I did, right then and there. That wasn’t to say that the sensation of a messy diaper wasn’t uncomfortable. But once I had come to accept that everything was now outside of my control, a messy diaper wasn’t anything to worry about. There was a routine to follow. I would be changed when I got changed. I think it was now in the middle of the afternoon. Probably. There was one empty bottle in my crib and another one that I had barely begun to drink. I held the tip of the bottle to my mouth and suckled softly on it. I wasn’t all that thirsty. I was drinking more out of habit for something to do before I closed my eyes to continue the nap. I wasn’t even paying any attention to my bladder as the diaper gradually expanded, this time from a warm stream of urine. The booster pads Mom placed in the diaper while I she was off at work had proven to be extremely useful, especially with how much she often left for me to drink. I was halfway through the second bottle when I heard the front door slam open. I wasn’t able to see the clock from the crib, but even though the curtains and blinds were down, there seemed to be more light coming in than there should be by the time I was expecting Mom to be home with Emilia. There was a voice, or maybe voices, coming from elsewhere in the house. Maybe Mom was home early. Or perhaps it was the weekend after all. I didn’t let the noise distract me any further. I put the bottle back into my mouth. I would be the perfect image of a baby when Mom stepped in to check on me. The bedroom door swung open. A woman stepped through, scanning the room with a flashlight in her hand. I was able to make out three letters on her jacket before I averted my eyes from the light. CPS.

Chapter 14: Rebellion Little in Love 2 – LittleFallenPrincess “Thank you for passing to me, my right honourable friend.” I said, trying to follow the proper conduct. Or at least what I thought was the proper conduct anyway. Having never spoken in all my time here, I was mostly using a combination of what I learnt from watching others here, my assistant trying to teach me just how the Commons works, and what I had seen on TV in the past. But at the same time… I just didn’t care. I was very close to just screaming at all these arseholes… arseholes who had created this world we live in where us littles are second class citizens. Clenching my fist and taking a deep breath, I looked out at the many faces all staring at me, all with mixtures of disgust and pity. None of them believe I should have even been allowed to run, let alone hold this seat. But the people have spoken. They wanted me here. And I’m sure Amber… I’m sure Amber would want me here right now… I looked up to see the camera panning over to me, the one broadcasting today’s sessions out onto the internet and onto various TV channels. Not only did I have the eyes and ears of my ‘colleagues’, but also everyone watching out there. Sure, I had no idea just how many people were watching, but even if it was only a few, I needed to do this. “I’d like to start off by saying that I am very thankful to the public for allowing me a seat here, for allowing me to help all littles out there, to allow me to improve lives and repair the rift between Amazon and little.” A few from the conservative party snickered at this, whispering to themselves. And thankfully, despite not caring about what I had to say, the speaker quickly admonished them and allowed me to continue. “I always pictured the first time I’d stand up here to speak as the time I would introduce the littles equality bill that a large number of us have been working on.” More snickering from the backbenches, including my own party this time. “But I was saddened to see, during my time here, that my party does not give a SHIT about littles.” The commons gasped at the outburst and use of foul language. But fuck this. Decorum went straight out the window when my friend’s brain was wiped. “Miss Clarke… this is your one and only warning. We will not allow…” The Speaker turned to admonish me. “You all look at me, with these condescending faces, and see a baby. A lot of Amazons do. But compare my achievements to that of yourselves. And I’m talking to all parties here. I ran my own business. I married a successful Amazon woman, whom I love with all my heart. I graduated university and made it to this age without having my brain turned to mush. I helped countless littles from abusive adoptions…” I quickly realised I shouldn’t have said that last bit… but I was on a roll, so I continued. “...I won the election for my party… and what did they do? They gave me a position that has no power for change, they ignore the will of the people who voted for them, and they betray every single little who risked their lives to go out and vote for them. You could see the worried face of the Prime Minister and the rest of the cabinet as they all stared at me and frantically started whispering to each other. “That’s right, it was that much of a risk for littles to go out and vote. It’s a risk for any little to do ANYTHING these days. We could accomplish more than any of you… and yet you still see us as babies. All because you happened to have been born taller than us. But you know what? Height isn’t everything. I’ve known littles worth ten of you.” That’s when the tears started forming in the corners of my eyes. “One of whom… one of whom went through so much in her life. Adopted in her early adult years, she was forced to be someone’s little plaything all because that Amazon happened to have controlling and abusive friends. Forced to wear nappies and suck a dummy. Forced to mess herself and watch her entire life crumble around her. Imagine another race of people came to this country, ones twice as big as you… imagine them thinking you’re all babies to them. Imagine losing everything you worked hard for, every bit of progress in your life… losing your entire life and your mind itself… all because someone bigger than you thought you’d be cuter in nappies.” I could see the embarrassed face of my colleagues as I ranted, which just fueled my anger. “Now… my friend… she managed to get out of that abusive situation. Thanks to my wonderful wife, we helped her and her adoptive Amazon mother get out from under the thumb of their abusive friends. And over time, that friend of mine potty trained, learned to be an adult again, got treated like an equal by her adoptive mother-turned roommate. And once she got her adult status back, became a successful chef at that same Amazon’s restaurant. She made something of her life, despite having years of her life taken away from her. Now she sits in a hospital, shi… messing herself… babbling and sucking her thumb. And I bet you’re thinking ‘Oh she must have messed up, proved she’s just a baby’. Well no. She didn’t. She didn’t do anything wrong. You want to know why her whole identity and personality got erased and replaced by a baby? Because those abusive friends of hers from before decided that they’d get some revenge finally, and used the new brute force technique on her.” Some colleagues giggled, and I wanted to dash over and punch them in the face… but I held in my rage right now and continued. At least some colleagues were starting to look empathetic. “So now my friend is gone. She’s dead. Replaced by an adult baby I don’t know. All because of some Amazon’s petty grievances. Now… Do any of you think that’s fair? Imagine your husband or wife… or your best friend… or your children… imagine they had their minds erased, just like my friend did. And all because someone taller than you had an issue with you or even with someone close to you. But I bet you can’t. Because you’re all privileged arseholes with no moral compass, all guided by your ridiculous physiology.” I could see the speaker had whispered to someone, so no doubt after my last use of foul language, I was to be escorted out any moment, so I had to make every second count. “I have no hope for the opposition to stand up for what’s right. You don’t care about other Amazons, let alone littles. You have no humanity, no empathy, no compassion. You’re selfish and greedy and have only hate in your hearts. No… what hurts most is that MY PARTY is just as selfish and greedy as you. They use us littles to win the election, then betray us all by voting for these ridiculous bills giving adoption centres of all places MORE POWER TO ABUSE US. WE ARE SUFFERING, WE ARE BEING HUNTED, WE ARE DYING. ALL BECAUSE YOU WON’T STAND UP FOR WHAT IS RIGHT. THE PUBLIC KNOWS THIS. AND DON’T THINK THEY WILL ALLOW YOU TO DO THIS FOR MUCH LONGER!” As two security guards picked me up from my seat at the back of the room, the Prime Minister looked furious, before taking a deep breath and standing up, taking the stand by the centre of the room. “Looks like she just needs a nap and maybe a change…” He joked, trying to brush off my outburst. And I swore to myself… that man will not keep his position if it’s the last thing I do. --------------------------------------------------------------------- “OLIVIA! WHAT WAS THAT?” Charlie yelled at me as I walked through the front door to our home, throwing my bag off to the side and slipping my shoes off. I shrugged and walked off into the living room, before collapsing on the sofa, laying back and looking up at the ceiling. Charlie followed me in from the hallway and swatted my legs to move them out of the way so she could sit down. So I sat up, leaning against the arm rest as my wife sat down and sighed. “I know what happened to Amber was…” “She’s dead.” I snapped back at her. “No she’s not, she’s just…” “Her mind is gone. Completely. And not in any way that Eve could fix.” “You don’t know that! Zoey was a lost cause at one point, right?” “Yes, but this new technique they’re using… it… it could take years, or even a lifetime, to fix.” “Give Eve some time. She’s been working her arse off trying to figure this out. What we don’t need are little outbursts like…” “Like what? Like my little ‘tantrum’ in the commons today? The one that ‘the whole country saw’? Yeah, don’t worry, the Prime Minister and the rest of the cabinet made sure to yell at me plenty afterwards. Threatened me with a diagnosis of maturosis.” “They WHAT?” Charlie suddenly looked furious. “Don’t worry, I just won’t be showing up to any more sessions for a little while whilst I’m suspended…” “Suspended? I guess that was to be expected… Liv… I know you’re upset, but you can’t do that. You can’t…” “Why not?” I said, looking her dead in the eyes. Charlie and I were usually on the same wavelength, but right now… she… she wasn’t on my side and it hurt. “Because it endangers you! It threatens our relationship! I don’t know what I’d do if I lost my wife…” “Like Gwen lost Amber?” “I know, but that’s not the same, they were just friends.” “So? Amber lost her mind. There should be public outcry. There should be protests and people demanding action from the government. The same government I’m supposedly a part of! I have never felt so powerless before! Even before we were married I never felt this powerless.” “I know it must be frustrating…” “FRUSTRATING? I’m FURIOUS! My friend is basically dead. My party doesn't care about me or my people. You wouldn’t understand, you’re just an Ama…” “An Amazon? I know.” Charlie sighed. “I can empathise all I want, but I won’t ever feel the fear you and other littles do. That’s why I try to be the best ally I can be. But when it comes to you… I can’t risk losing you, babe.” “And what if my party continues giving more powers to basically enslave littles, just like the other countries did? What happens to our marriage then? What happens to me?” “It won’t…” “Don’t finish that sentence. Because that’s what they said in other countries, and look at the direction they went. If we don’t call out the bullshit now…” “Language…” “Fuck off, Charlie.” I… couldn’t believe I had just said that. Not once had I spoken to her like that. And she… she looked… betrayed. “I… I’m going to go. I’ve got a meeting soon. Potential publisher wants to talk to me. I’ll… talk to you later…” She replied, sounding like she was about to cry. “No, Charlie, I…” I reached up with my hand to grab her, but she ignored me and stood up, walked into the hall, grabbed her bag along the way, and left the house. I fucked up. I knew I fucked up. But… she doesn’t understand. Maybe I could’ve been more gentle… but Amazons don’t understand what we go through as littles. They don’t understand the fear, the sadness… the hopelessness… we face as littles trying to get by in this rigged society. It’s why I had my little ‘tantrum’. Amazons needed to wake the fuck up and realise the damage they are causing. Even our ‘allies’ need to wake the fuck up. We need them to actually stand up for us, because otherwise we’ll never be taken seriously. Otherwise… we’ll slowly but surely have our rights taken away and eventually we’ll ALL be in nurseries, shitting ourselves. And I won’t allow that. I’ve got two weeks to work on a plan for what to do. I need to get this Littles Equality Act draft finalised and ready to propose. I need to call on whatever allies I can. I need to get the message out there. Today was just the start. Amazons are going to be brought into an equal society… …Kicking and screaming if needs be. ======================================================= Also if you haven't seen, I'm now up and running on Subscribestar! (Sorry for the reminder again, trying to get my subscribers back after the Patreon rubbish!) Hoping to start the new SubscribeStar exclusive short stories with a trial run in January! if the first commission goes well, I'll see how many I can handle per month (thinking about 2 per month. These stories won't be posted here at all.) ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want to read the next 4 chapters, thanks to two weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories (or even have a chance at commissioning one when I add the tier for them!), why don't you check out my SubscribeStar! The basic tier gets early access and exclusive access to short stories (when they're written), higher tiers will be limited but get a short story each month (1-2 per month in total, also not yet running this tier yet, will announce when I'm starting!). Thank you to all my patrons for their support over the past couple of years! Seriously, your support meant the world to me, and I hope to be set up somewhere new soon. New chapters of Little in Love 2 every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. 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It's dinner time. Daniel has found himself falling further and further into his cousin's clutches. As he tries to rationalise all the madness that has happened he discovers exactly why he's been taped into a diaper. --- Writing is my passion and my only source of income. If you enjoy my stories you may be interested to learn that you can see every update I post one week before the rest of the world with a $5 pledge on one of my subscription sites. There has been a lot of upheaval recently with Patreon purging a lot of ABDL content so I have tried to diversify a little so that I can continue to bring everyone stories. For just a $5 pledge on any of these you can see updates a week early and for $10 you can see all of my 50+ EXCLUSIVE stories only available to subscribers. The money I get goes to paying bills and putting food on the table so I appreciate all of my subscribers and would appreciate anyone who might be interested in supporting me to check out my subscription sites ❤️ https://subscribestar.adult/elfy https://reamstories.com/elfy --- Daniel was still reeling from finding he was now locked into his diaper when he was lifted off the floor into Emmy’s arms. He felt one of her long arms wrap around his back and the other went to his butt. As he was forced to lean forwards on to Emmy’s chest he wondered if he should tell Emmy that the thought of taking his diaper off hadn’t crossed his mind. He doubted it would win him any brownie points. “You’ve been napping so long it’s practically dinner time.” Emmy said as she effortlessly carried Daniel down the stairs. Had it really been that long? Daniel looked out a window as they passed and the sky was definitely darkening with reds and purples replacing the blue. He had lost track of time in the crib for sure but he hadn’t realised that much time had been lost. It made him feel nervous, it started to feel like he wasn’t connected to the world outside any more. It was as if this house and all the craziness within it was a separate reality inhabited by just himself and Emmy. After having his belly filled so many times he didn’t feel at all hungry but he knew that once Emmy had decided something she wouldn’t be dissuaded. Instead of the dining room though he was taken into the living room. Being held against Emmy’s chest and looking over her shoulder meant he couldn’t see the room until he was set down on the ground. He turned around with the unfamiliar bulk between his legs and then gasped. He backed up until he hit Emmy who hadn’t moved. “This should keep you out of trouble.” Emmy said. Daniel was stunned into motionless silence as Emmy reached over the top of him and opened the gate to a large playpen. She must have set it up whilst he was trapped in the crib, the metal bars were painted red and were tall enough to prevent any possible escape for him. He didn’t think anything should surprise him but he was very wrong. “In you go.” Emmy said cheerily as she gave Daniel a little nudge in the back, “Remember to crawl. We don’t want you hurting yourself.” Instead of dropping on to all fours like Emmy wished Daniel backed up against her. He shook his head and before he knew what he was doing he was turning around and waddling towards the doorway. He felt his legs forced wide by the bulky diaper and plastic pants but he hurried as quickly as he could. He knew the front door was out of reach so he had to look elsewhere for escape. His rational mind had disappeared to be replaced by panic. Daniel ran out towards the dining room. He tripped over himself as he still struggled with the diaper and fell to the ground in a heap. There was a door to the backyard in front of him and he scurried forwards on all fours which, thanks to the diaper, was actually quicker than his infantile waddling. He reached the door and stood up to find the door handle predictably out of reach. With grunts of frustration Daniel jumped as much as he could but could do little more than tickle the underside of the metal handle. He knew his attempt to get out of the house was doomed when Emmy came walking up behind him. He slumped down until he was sitting on the floor, the new padding around his butt becoming an unwelcome pillow. Emmy didn’t say a word as she leaned down and scooped Daniel up again. In some ways it felt even worse than if she had chastised him. He was carried back through to the living room and this time placed in the large playpen. He watched forlornly as Emmy closed the gate behind her and then left the room without a word. The playpen was incredibly bare. There was nothing in there except a blanket, a pillow and his stuffed toy, Arthur. He was just getting used to the surroundings when Emmy came back into the living room and she was holding something very large in her hands. It looked like a thick towel of some kind that had been folded over many times. “Something for you to wear.” Emmy said as she opened the gate and stepped inside, “Stand up and put your arms above your head.” Daniel was trapped in a literal cage and the only exit was guarded by Emmy. With an embarrassed sigh he lifted his hands in preparation for being dressed by his younger cousin. He closed his eyes as Emmy stepped forwards and then felt the soft cloth of whatever she was carrying come down over his head. Daniel was lost in the soft baby blue fabric until it was pulled all the way down over his head. He then saw Emmy crouch down in front of him, she pulled part of the cloth around to the front but as she did so an unexpected mass filled the space between Daniel’s legs. It was clipped together before Emmy took a step back. “What the hell?” Daniel muttered. He tried to take a step but it was almost impossible and he found himself down on his hands and knees again. He looked up at Emmy for an explanation. “Isn’t it great?” Emmy said with a big smile, “It’s called a waddler. I noticed you were having trouble remembering to crawl so this will help you.” Daniel twisted around so he was sat on his diaper and looked down. With a start he realised what he was wearing looked just like a baby’s onesie. The worst part was undoubtedly the section between his legs, it wasn’t just the same elastic material but actually felt like a pillow. With the diaper underneath it he had to keep his legs very far apart. “I’ll prepare dinner.” Emmy said. She continued after a short pause, “Be good.” Daniel waited for Emmy to leave the room before he did anything. He waited for a minute until he could hear the sounds of cooking and then prodded the huge bulky mass between his legs. The padding had some give in it but it was also very stiff. He tried to climb to his feet but the onesie made it almost impossible. With a red face he crawled to the edge of the playpen and used the bars to pull himself upright. He wobbled as he let go and when he tried to take a single step he found himself back on his butt. Now sat in the playpen Daniel had a second to think about everything that had happened. He felt panic running through his system like cold water as he thought about his situation. Now sat on the floor in clothing that made him unable to walk, with a diaper that was locked on to him and surrounded by a playpen he didn’t know what could possibly be worse. He pulled Arthur to him and held him close to his chest. “At least I’m not restrained anymore...” Daniel muttered to himself bitterly. --- “Still dry?” Emmy sounded somewhat surprised. “Of course…” Daniel replied in annoyance, “Look, can we just stop this stu-” “Ah, ah, ah.” Emmy chided Daniel, “You know better than that. Come on, it’s dinner time.” Daniel watched as Emmy opened the gate of the playpen. He flopped on to his front and tried to bring his legs together, the waddler made it impossible, he was just about able to bring his knees close enough to lift him off the floor. Emmy smiled down at him and nodded towards the door. Daniel wanted to shout and swear. He wanted to refuse but he knew he couldn’t. Emmy held all the cards and all Daniel could do was play the game and hope for some kind of opening to escape or get help. He lifted his body on to his hands and knees and started crawling. His face flushed with heat as he childishly crawled towards the dining room. Emmy stood aside as Daniel went past, the size difference between them had never felt so pronounced. Once in the dining room Daniel was unsurprised to see only one chair at the table. It looked like Emmy was giving up even the pretence that Daniel might feed himself. Emmy stepped over Daniel and sat on the only seat, she reached down and Daniel was soon lifted up and sat in her lap. He felt more embarrassed than ever. He heard the diaper taped around his waist crinkle as his body sunk slightly into the padding. Emmy bounced him a couple of times and chuckled. The food was already on the table. Daniel saw a plate with a delicious looking lasagne and felt his mouth watering but it didn’t take him long to realise his dinner was actually in the bowl next to the plate. It was the first time his meal was different from Emmy’s and he assumed that was not a good sign for him. “Ugh…” Daniel couldn’t hide his disgust when Emmy lifted up a spoon loaded with a thick viscous mush. “I’m sure it tastes better than it looks.” Emmy smiled as she blew on the spoon to cool the steaming food. “Why can’t I eat the same as you?” Daniel asked sulkily before scrunching up his face in disgust. “Just be a good boy for Aunty Emmy.” Emmy replied as the spoon came towards Daniel’s mouth. Daniel closed his mouth tightly. It didn’t smell very nice and he was sure it would taste just as bad. He knew he was defying Emmy by refusing to eat but he still couldn’t bring himself to voluntarily open his mouth and allow the food to come into contact with his taste buds. He closed his eyes as Emmy scowled down at him. Daniel felt Emmy’s arms moving and wondered if he was winning this battle of wills until he felt two fingers pinching his nose. Suddenly unable to breathe Daniel flailed until he was eventually forced to open his mouth to get some air. He was barely able to gasp and get some air before he felt the warm spoon pushing into his mouth. The utensil was upturned and the sloppy, lumpy food was poured over Daniel’s tongue. Daniel’s eyes opened wide as the foul tasting food seemed to cover every inch of his mouth. He swallowed it down just to try and get rid of the awful taste. He saw a bottle of milk on the table and, like a baby, reached out for it even though it was well out of reach. He could feel the slimy food go down his oesophagus. He made a disgusted face even as Emmy started to gather another spoonful of baby food. “It’s not that bad.” Emmy said as if Daniel was making a fuss over nothing. “Please…” Daniel coughed out as he reached for the bottle. He didn’t even care that it was for babies at this point, he just needed something to wash the taste away. “You can have your bottle after you finish your dinner.” Emmy said as she brought the spoon forwards. Daniel whimpered. He didn’t feel like he had a choice. He had to get rid of this horrid taste and the only way was the bottle of milk that waited just out of his grasp. With trembling lips he opened his mouth and soon felt the spoon pressing against his tongue. He swallowed as quickly as possible but it wasn’t enough to prevent another wave of revulsion washing over him. “What a good boy.” Emmy said as she dipped the food in the bowl again. Daniel was red in the face and knew this wasn’t going to end any time soon. He looked to the side to look at the bowl and moaned in resignation. Just like everything else the bowl was huge, there would be no respite from this meal any time soon. The third, fourth and fifth swallows were no easier than the first two. It felt like this bland but unappealing mush was all Daniel would be able to taste forever. Daniel was soon filling up but had to keep opening his mouth robotically. Soon the taste didn’t bother Daniel quite so much. With his taste buds covered in the food it became less foul as it went down into his rapidly filling belly. He hadn’t been that hungry when he started but Emmy didn’t seem to care, it seemed that as far as she was concerned he was going to eat all of his dinner no matter what. Daniel’s hands rested on his belly and he felt almost like a balloon with every mouthful of food pumping him up even further. He already knew that Emmy wasn’t going to be happy until he had finished the whole bowl. He could feel his tummy pre-emptively gurgling and growling in protest. One of the worst parts of this feeding was not knowing how much food was left in the bowl. Daniel slumped down a little more with each mouthful and he couldn’t see how much there was left. All he knew was that there was more coming as the spoon approached his mouth and tipped the mushy food in. He was practically horizontal after what he estimated was half the bowl with Emmy’s arm behind him holding his head up. After another of the countless mouthfuls of mushy food Daniel felt a sudden pressure on his bladder. His eyes went wide as he tried to work out why the need to go came on so suddenly. As he heard his bloated stomach groan he wondered if it was so full it was putting pressure on everything around it. He could picture his poor little bladder struggling to hold off the stomach which was full to bursting. As Daniel concentrated his thoughts inwards towards his bladder he robotically opened and closed his mouth every time the spoon was brought near him. He kept eating despite being well past full. With the meal still going Daniel eventually felt a small slip of his control and a small amount of pee squirted out. With the spoon in the bowl he had to take his chance. “Emmy, could I please you the potty?” Daniel asked through his embarrassment. He never thought he would be asking, practically begging, to use a little training potty. “Don’t be silly.” Emmy replied with a small chuckle as she took a bite from her own meal, “Why do you think you are wearing that diaper?” “I know but…” Daniel started. He couldn’t stop himself from sounding like a whiny toddler. As he spoke his hands went down to his crotch and he crossed his legs. “Enough.” Emmy said with a finality that scared Daniel, “Be a good boy for Aunty Emmy or you’ll get put back in your crib after dinner.” Daniel was still desperately trying to find the combination of words that would get through to Emmy when she started feeding him again. Daniel squirmed as much as he could but it wasn’t helping and more food was being shovelled into his mouth making his body even more desperate to relieve the pressure. Daniel held on for as long as he could but there was no winning this battle. The scraping of the bowl gave him some hope but as soon as the last of the food had been swallowed into his bulging stomach Emmy picked up the bottle. “Wai-” Daniel started. Daniel was cut-off by the latex nipple that pushed between his lips. As he started sucking down the liquid he felt his bladder finally slip beyond his control. He shuddered as he felt urine trickling down his penis, it burst out into the diaper causing him to gasp around the bottle he was sucking from. Once the dam was cracked there was no way to repair the damage. Daniel fought until the very end but there was never a way for him to win. He groaned as he was forced to swallow the milk and whilst that liquid poured into him another, much warmer, liquid poured out. The diapered man closed his eyes in resignation. Urine seemed to spray out of Daniel like a hose that had just been untangled. All the holding on Daniel had been doing resulted in a huge build-up of pressure and when he released it the urine pushed out of him with force. The piss splashed off the inside of his disposable and washed against him, the heat spreading out over Daniel’s crotch and padding. He had the irrational fear that his pee would go everywhere because he was so unused to the diaper taped between his legs. As Daniel realised the diaper was holding he relaxed a little bit. The hot urine was now hitting the padding and soaking in all over the disposable. Daniel could feel the warmth pressing against his skin, it felt like he had absolutely soaked his underwear by the time the stream came to an end. Daniel had been feeding from the bottle mindlessly whilst his concentration was focused on his diaper. He blushed as he heard air coming through the bottle. “What a hungry baby.” Emmy said as she pulled the teat out of Daniel’s mouth and placed it on the table. --- You can find out what happens next RIGHT NOW on my subscription pages: https://subscribestar.adult/posts/1141906 https://reamstories.com/page/lpjgftb4y2/story/lplyuiwxy1/chapter/d41cfe8c-bc17-4429-a3f1-cd0bec5f8310

Today's update: There have been a lot of logistics to work through. I need to go to the passport office soon. I had to find my birth certificate and I went to CVS to get my passport photo taken. I need to get some pre-op blood work done. I could have it done in Mexico the day before the procedure, but I'd rather get it out of the way sooner so I'll be giving a blood draw tomorrow or some time this week. I also booked the hotel for my stay. I'll just stay at the hotel rather than the recovery center. My surgery date is now in February, less than a month away. I already took time off work but need to shift that from March to February since I bumped my surgery date up. I'm not telling anyone outside of this website about the procedure or that I'm going to Mexico. One concern I have now is when I call my friends or family after surgery, will it show up on their cell phone that I'm in Mexico, or look in any way different? I do need to tell people something, so in order to keep as close to the truth as possible without making people (and myself) uncomfortable, I let my closest friends know I'm having a bladder neck surgery here in town as a quick fix to my bladder retention. Next I need to tell my family that. That is more stressful. I think once I tell my parents, as long as they aren't too worried, I'll feel a lot more relieved. There's just a lot to think through and some of it is weighing on me. I'm very excited, just nervous about all the details. And about my close relationships.

Chapter 9 : Much lighter Kelia woke up rested, straightened up in her crib and rubbed her eyes. But something caught her attention. She felt a spongy sensation between her legs. She leaned over to examine her diaper and found that it was wet. Kelia was pretty sure she hadn't wet herself before falling asleep, which could only mean one thing: she'd wet herself while asleep. Kelia began to panic. Wetting her diaper voluntarily was one thing, but doing it involuntarily while asleep was quite another. Had her bladder abandoned her already? She was truly ashamed when she realized that she looked every bit a baby now. Kelia didn't know what time it was, but she hoped she still had time. She wanted to stay isolated in her room as much as possible before her mother returned. At least she knew Kelia was an adult and had no choice. But after about ten minutes, Kelia heard footsteps approaching from behind the door. Amy entered the room. "Looks like baby had a good sleep." She said, smiling at Kelia. Kelia was torn. On the one hand, the situation couldn't have been more embarrassing for her, but on the other, Amy really did seem very kind and sweet. Besides, it wasn't really her fault; she didn't know that Kelia was actually an adult. Amy lifted Kelia out of the cradle and into her arms. Kelia felt Amy's fingers probe her diaper. "Your mother was right, you're a little wetter! We'll change you right away so you'll be more comfortable." Kelia's face was flushed, but she tried to hide it. Amy laid Kelia on the changing table and untapped her diaper. While she cleaned Kelia, she whistled a little song. Changing a diaper was perfectly normal for her. Having a diaper changed was less so for Kelia, although she was getting used to it. "You're adorable, you're all right." Amy said as she lifted Kelia's feet and slipped a new diaper under her bottom. Little did Amy know that if Kelia remained quiet, it was simply because she was an adult who had no intention of giggling and fussing like a baby. Once Kelia was wrapped in her new diaper, Amy took her downstairs. She fetched a baby bottle of milk from the microwave, and fed Kelia on the couch - as she was used to be fed by now. As Amy fed her, Kelia felt... well? Of course, she wasn't very comfortable, but Amy's benevolence contrasted with her mother's malevolence, and made interactions between Kelia and Amy much less unpleasant. When her mother commented on what Kelia was doing, she knew full well it was only to humiliate her, whereas Amy, Kelia knew, was sincerely trying to comfort her and make her feel good. As Kelia finished swallowing the last drops of milk from her bottle, Amy called Sarah. "Sarah! Want to watch a movie?" Sarah, who was drawing on the living room table, immediately stood up. "Yes!!!" Sarah came and settled herself on the sofa next to her babysitter, and Amy placed Kelia back on her lap, holding her close. Amy turned on the TV and started a Disney movie and they all watched the film together, Kelia a little sleepy, who felt surprisingly comfortable in Amy's caring arms. Kelia didn't fall asleep right away, but she sensed that she wasn't quite awake yet either. Without thinking about it, she felt her bladder relax and warmth spread from the front to the back of her diaper. Kelia wasn't really concentrating on the film anymore. Her eyes closed and she felt sleep take her away. It was as if her body was crying out for a sleep where she could feel truly safe. Cradled against Amy, Kelia didn't resist any longer and drifted off to sleep. When she awoke, Kelia saw that the film was in its final scenes. Looking next to her, she saw that she wasn't the only one who had fallen asleep, Sarah was still dozing with her head resting on Amy's shoulder. It wasn't long before she too woke up when the credits rolled on the screen. "Well, are you hungry Sarah?" Amy asked. Yawning, Sarah nodded. "How about I order a pizza?" "Oh yes, please!" Sarah had regained her usual energy at hearing the word "pizza". "Here, can you take care of your little sister?" Amy asked Sarah, handing her Kelia. Sarah didn't hesitate and nodded, taking Kelia in her arms, while Amy got up and grabbed her phone to call the local pizzeria. Kelia thought it was cute that her sister looked so proud to be taking care of her "little sister". Landing between Sarah's legs, Kelia felt the soaked material of her diaper against her skin. She thought she must have wet herself again while she slept, as her diaper seemed to have taken more than one wetting. Kelia blushed when she felt Sarah's hand squeeze her diaper. "Amy! I think Kelia need a change!" Amy nodded as she finished her call. What bothered Kelia wasn't the fact that her diaper was being checked - she was used to it -but that her sister was doing it. Amy returned to the sofa and checked Kelia's diaper herself with her hand. "What a great big sister, you take good care of her!" Amy said to Sarah. Sarah had a big smile on her face. Amy picked up Kelia and headed for the stairs. "I ordered the pizza it should be here in about fifteen minutes." She said to Sarah. Kelia was taken upstairs to her room by Amy and changed. She must have been used to babysitting because she was much better at changing diapers than her mother. When Amy returned downstairs with Kelia, Sarah was sitting quietly on the sofa, having changed the program to cartoons. Amy put Kelia down on the sofa and headed for the kitchen. Kelia spent the time watching cartoons with her sister. She wasn't sure why, but the more time passed, the more she began to enjoy watching these kinds of children's shows. It was as if her brain kept asking for more, even though she knew she shouldn't be sitting there watching cartoons. When the pizza arrived, Amy went to collect it and pay the deliveryman, then put the pizza on the dining room table. She picked up Kelia and put her in her highchair, and Sarah joined Amy at the table. Sarah didn't wait for Amy to finish feeding Kelia before starting to devour the pizza. It was very rare for their mother to order this kind of food, so when it happened, Kelia and Sarah didn't waste a crumb of their meal. Well, in this case, Kelia would unfortunately not be so lucky. Although Kelia was somewhat frustrated at missing this opportunity, she'd gotten used to her new situation, so it didn't bother her any more than that. When Amy said she'd order a pizza, it didn't cross Kelia's mind for a second that she might touch it, so she couldn't be too disappointed. While being fed by Amy, Kelia felt discomfort in her bowels and began to push without thinking. She felt her mess spread to the back of her diaper. She wasn't as bothered by a dirty diaper as she used to be. Of course it certainly wasn't comfortable, but she knew she'd be changed soon enough anyway. Once the meal was over, Amy cleared the table. "Come on, it's going to be bedtime for you two, your mother told me to get you to bed early tonight." Sarah tried to get a little more time by pouting at Amy with a sad face, but she wasn't the first child Amy had babysat and this kind of ploy was of little use on her. So Sarah resigned herself and went upstairs to get ready for bed, and Amy took Kelia out of her highchair and into her room. Kelia felt Amy's hand crush the mess in her diaper, which made her wince a little. "Oh, someone left a big present in her diaper, don't worry you'll be all clean in no time." Kelia was placed on her changing table and Amy began to change her. She knew the process by now and no longer let herself be surprised by the feeling of cold wipes against her skin or her legs being lifted in the air. Once in a new diaper, Kelia was deposited by Amy in her crib. "Good night, sweetie." She said before leaving, silently closing the door behind her. Kelia was feeling very tired that evening, and it wasn't long before she was swept off to sleep. The difference was that, that evening, she felt much lighter than usual. ----------------------------------------------- Hi ! I apologize for this chapter being pretty late - and pretty shorter than usual. I been kinda busy lately and i didn't have much time to write. + ya know, when the inspiration won't come... well there's not much we can do about it. I think that's the chapter i'm the least proud of to be honest but.... well i hope you still enjoyed it, and hopefully the next chapters will be better

Hi guys! So recently I've been on discord a lot lately. And I met this guy on a discord server named Paul. He's 72 and lives in Canada. We got to talking and he liked me so much that he volunteered to be my new Grandpa. He's very nurturing, and very loving. He thinks I'm the sweetest little grandson he's ever had, and I couldn't agree more. I love him so much. We just instantly clicked and hit it off very well. I told him about my childhood and what it was like for me growing up. He said he would have loved to take care of me back then. He's so nice! He's EVERYTHING I wanted in a grandpa. And he likes cartoons like me and wears super dry kids diapers too. And he said that when I was 7 and 8 back then, he would have put me back in diapers to keep my pants dry and he would have said that I was a big boy for that so that I wouldn't feel ashamed for wearing diapers when I was little. I'm so grateful and blessed to have a grandpa like him now, especially because I was never really close with my REAL Grandpa and I didn't really know a lot about him. But I guess God has a way of finding people for me to bond with, and I LOVE him so much for that.

Here's the second part. I have an idea for a part three, so if people like this one I'll get on with it. PART TWO: We’d been standing still for at least fifteen minutes, and I had become very conscious of how badly I stank. I tugged at your arm, “Please. I’m sorry for being naughty,” People were glancing at us, but it was hard to tell whether that was because I was pleading with you, or because of the smell. You smiled at me, which instantly calmed me down a little, “We can move on” you said, “but I think we’ll have to walk through the gift shop before we get to the lockers. Do you still want to claim your prize from finding all those fishes? You did work hard for it after all” I nodded. I didn’t want to spend more time around people than was necessary, but I really wanted my prize. And besides, as you’d pointed out earlier, this was the aquarium’s fault. I took your hand, and waddled to the exit door. As you had guessed, the next room was a gift shop - brightly coloured, well-lit, and filled with shelves upon shelves of stuffies and toys, t-shirts and hats. And lots and lots of people, crowding around and blocking every passage. I felt my lip start to quiver and my throat get dry. I squeezed your hand tight. “It’ll be OK” I heard you whisper in my ear, “we can grab your prize and go straight out to the locker, then get you changed”. I nodded, gulping back tears and doing my best to compose myself. “Would you like to grab a stuffy to remember the trip by?” you asked. I got a little excited at this, until I glanced around and saw every single table with stuffies absolutely surrounded by people. “It’s OK,” I said, a glum tone to my voice. You put your hands on my shoulders and gently turned me around to face you, then looked me in the eyes, “If someone noticed you had an accident, what’s the worst that might happen?” you asked, “I don’t know?” I replied, “they might be mean.” “But no one has been so far?” you pointed out. I nodded. “Then stop letting something that probably won’t happen stop you having fun”. I nodded again, forcing a smile. Then I turned around, waddled to the table with octopus stuffires and grabbed a big orange one. Just holding it made me feel a bit happier and more comfortable. I brought it back over to you. “Found your new friend then?” You asked. “Yep” I grinned. “Did anything bad happen?” “Nope”. “Shall we go pay and get your prize?” I nodded again, already forgetting my worries. At the checkout I put the octopus on the counter, then pulled out my phone, showing the worker the app with the winning screen. The worker congratulated me, then grabbed a small stuffie of a panda guppie. I grinned as soon as I saw it, thanking them for my new friend. After you paid we made our way out of the gift shop and back to the lockers. I stood there feeling increasingly uncomfortable as I waited for you to get the bag out. It didn’t actually take all that long, but it felt like forever. Particularly as my nappy got warm as I wet myself again. Once you had the bag you led me towards the toilets. Much like the rest of the aquarium they were clean and modern. Beside the accessible cubicles was another door with a sign that looked like a disabled toilet sign, but also had a person standing behind a platform on it. You opened the door. It was huge, even compared to a normal accessible toilet, and had an bed-sized changing table attached to the wall. After ushering me in, you shut the door and locked it. I began to panic a little. “I don’t think we should be using this one” I said a slight quiver in my voice. You glanced at me, your eyebrow raised. “What if someone else needs it?” “They’ll just have to wait,” you said, as you unbuttoned my jeans and let them drop to the floor, exposing my very wet, very full, and very stinky nappy. “But it’s for incontinent people” I protested, as you led me to the changing table and pulled it down. You glanced down at my nappy, “I think that qualifies you” you said, giving me a gentle pat on the butt, and ushering me onto the table. “I mean really incontinent people. Not people playing a kinky game.” There was a petulant tone to my voice I hadn’t intended. You gently took my chin in your hands, and tilted my head so I was looking in your eyes. “How many days in the last month have you wet in your sleep?” you asked. I shrugged. “I dunno. A few.” You took your phone out and tapped the screen a few times, “Every night except one.” you said, “you also woke up stinky nine times.” I was about to protest, when you showed me the phone screen. On it was a potty training tracker app, showing all of my accidents over the last month. There were a lot. You turned it back towards you, “Do you know how many times I noticed you’d wet yourself during the day?” I blushed, and my lip quivered a little. “Some” “Eighty four” you said, that’s nearly three times every day. And that’s just the times I noticed. Your tone softened a little, “You also didn’t make it to the potty in time to poo a single time. Even on days when you didn’t have a full accident you had bad enough skid marks that you needed clean underwear.” I blushed even harder. “I’m trying. I’m sorry” my voice cracked. You stroked my hair and spoke softly, “you’ve got nothing to be sorry for. It’s not your fault, and you don’t need to worry about it anymore. I wasn’t doing this to embarrass you, just to make it clear that you don’t need to feel bad about using somewhere like this. You’re as entitled as anyone else.” I nodded, trying to stop myself from crying. “You being cute and little and bratty is the game.” you continued, “. You having accidents and needing nappies is just a fact of life. Even if it does make you look cute”. I tried to fight the smile that creeped across my face. “And smell cute” you said, gently guiding me to lie down, “even when you’re stinky” You eased my top up and blew a raspberry on my belly. I coudn’t help but giggle. Then you took my pacifier from the bag, popped it in my mouth, and gave me my octopus to hold. I used him to cover my face, and closed my eyes. I felt your hands on the top of my nappy, and heard a ‘pop’ as you removed each tape. You started with the top two, then moved down to the bottom two. As you eased the nappy open I got a full blast of how bad it smelled, and realised how bad an accident I’d had. I whimpered a little behind my paci. “It’s OK,” you said, “you’ll feel all better in a few minutes” I felt the front of the nappy rubbing against my butt as you used it to clean off the worst of the mess, then I felt the cool, damp wipes against my skin as you started wiping me down. It’s incredibly soothing, and I felt myself calming down and starting to get a little fuzzy-headed. I suckled on my paci, and moved my octopus from in front of my face down to my chest, cuddling him tight. I barely noticed when you lifted my legs up and slid the nappy out from under me, or when you slipped the clean one in its place. By the time I realised what was happening I felt much cleaner and less uncomfortable. It was only when you taped me up that I started to come back to my senses and notice you smiling down at me with a slight look of concern on your face. “Is everything OK?” I asked, sitting up. “Yep” you said, “did you notice you were having an accident when I was changing you?” “I didn’t.” I said, shaking my head to emphasise my lack of awareness, “sorry. I didn’t mean to pee on you”. “It wasn’t pee”. I blushed again, and buried my face in my octopus. This wasn’t the first time this sort of thing had happened - dairy tended to make me ‘leak’ small amounts without noticing - but that didn’t make it less embarrassing. “It’s OK”, you assured me, helping me step back into my jeans, “I’ll just have to make sure I keep checking you and get you clean as soon as anything is noticeable.” Nobody was waiting outside when we left the changing room. The ten minutes it took to make sure I no longer smelled like a sewage works didn’t cause anyone else any inconvenience, I did get a slightly odd look from an older lady who was walking past the entrance to the toilets, but I felt a little more confident and better about myself, and so I pulled my top up a little, and flashed her the white waistband of my nappy. She soon glanced away, embarrassed at her misjudgement. I didn’t think you noticed at first, then I saw the little grin on your face as you turned towards me, “What shall we get for lunch?” you asked? You needn’t have, we both knew the answer, but I said it anyway: “Nooooooodddddssss!!!” **** The noodle place was a short walk away, only about 20 minutes, just the other side of the river, but after the aquarium I’d already built up an appetite, and was ready to fill my face with ramen. Annoyingly, there was a queue outside the restaurant as other people had the same idea. While we were standing, waiting, I felt your hand on the back of my jeans, and a little tug backwards. It seemed subtle, and don’t think anyone else noticed, but I blushed. Then you leaned forward and whispered in my ear, “You’re already a tiny bit stinky, but it should be OK for now. If it’s not too uncomfortable”. I felt my cheeks get really warm, and I swear they glowed red. “I’ll be fine” I mumbled. As I said that, I felt a trickle of pee escape into my nappy. I was wetting myself, and I hadn’t even noticed. “It’s so busy” I said, trying to distract myself a little. “Yep. Because it’s so good.” you replied. “But they won’t be long, I’m sure.” I felt you take hold of my hand. “Are you tired out after the aquarium?” you asked I nodded, “a little bit. But I think I’ll be good after food” “So you’ve still got energy to go shopping after then?” “Yeah” I said, excited for the comic shop. It wasn’t long before we were let into the noodle bar, and shown to a small table. It was cramped and crowded, and smelled absolutely amazing. Apart from the slight warmth, I hadn't really been aware of my nappy when we were outside, but as I sat down it squelched against the seat. I wasn’t just a bit soggy, I was soaked. I also felt the mess that had leaked out sticking to my butt cheeks. It wasn’t too uncomfortable, but it was certainly hard to ignore, and if I hadn’t been padded, I would have had a big stain on my jeans. You started looking at the menu, “Any idea what you’re having?” you asked. “Tonkotsu” I replied, in a flash, “with extra noods.” You chuckled to yourself. “Just that?” I looked at the menu properly. “Karaage too. And sparkling water.” “I’ll get us a big portion we can share” you said, “and some takoyaki.” You pulled out your phone, placed the order through their weird online ordering system, and within a few minutes our drinks and chicken had arrived. I dug in, grabbing some chicken and devouring it. It was amazing. Crispy, juicy, slightly spicy. I had to stop myself from gorging on the whole plate, but I had ramen on its way, and was also meant to be sharing the chicken with you. I stopped myself after four pieces, and took a swig of my drink. “You’re enjoying it then?” you said, a little surprised at how quickly I’d eaten the chicken. “Yep”, I grinned. Our ramen arrived shortly afterwards. It might have been my imagination, but I’d have sworn the waiter paused and sniffed the air a little when he put it down in front of me. I would have worried, but I had noodles in front of me,and was too excited for it. The way I dove into the ramen made my chicken eating seem restrained. I slurped and guzzled, and splattered soup all over myself. If I had any dignity left after my morning of humiliation, I’d have definitely left it all over the table. And my top. And face. After a few moments I looked up to see you chuckling to yourself. “Shall I order you some extra noodles?” you asked. I nodded. Saying anything else in reply would just result in covering you in half-chewed food, and that might make you less inclined to order me more noodles. Just as you placed the noodle order, the waiter came back over with a plate of takoyaki. I paused my noodle demolition to snarf down an octopus ball. Then I immediately regretted it as I realised how hot the damned thing was. I quickly took a swig of water, which helped cool my mouth down a little. “You know,” you said, that sly grin still set on your face, “it may be utterly chaotic, but it's really cute how much you're enjoying your food’. Twenty minutes of munching and gulping later, and we were paid up and ready to leave. As we wandered through the packed restaurant and toward the door, I felt your hand on my back, a gentle tug on my jeans, and a slight pull on my jumper, then heard you whisper, “just tucking your nappy back in. The waistband was peeking out under your top.” I should have felt humiliated. Particularly as the slight smell of my leaky butt had become more noticeable while we ate, but I'd already gone through so much today that I was beyond caring. So much so that without lowering my voice I replied, “do you think I need a nappy change before we leave?” At least one person glanced over at that. I didn't care though. If anything, I was pleased. “Not here” you said, there wouldn't be room to change you properly in the toilet.” **** The comic shop was a two minute walk from the noodle place. That didn't give us any options for a place to change before we got there. I hadn't thought that was much of an issue, but as we got inside you stopped me and pulled me in for a hug. As you did I heard you sniff, and felt your hand touch my butt. “I think we're going to have to get you changed pretty urgently” you said, “you're wetter than I thought, and it's pretty obvious that you've pooped too.” I nodded. “Then can we come back?” “Of course” you reassured me, “I’m sorry I had to interrupt fun, but I think you'd rather be clean and dry, wouldn't you?” I shrugged. I'd already had so many embarrassing moments today that at this point I was broadly indifferent. “I don't mind,” I said, much more confident than I had been most of today, “besides, it's not like last time where we had to leave and go home because I had an accident”. “Very true,” you agreed. The last time we'd been here was pretty bad. I'd curled up in their reading area with an indie comic while you browsed through every box for one specific X-Men back issue, and without much notice I'd felt a really bad rumble and cramping in my tummy. By the time I'd found you to tell you I needed to go to the potty, I'd had a really bad messy accident. We left right away, and worse than that, I had to ride all the way home on the train with poopy pants. Delaying our comic hunt for ten minutes while we found somewhere for me to be changed seemed like a big improvement on that. It turns out finding somewhere to change during the lunchtime rush wasn’t as simple as we’d hoped. Most of the restaurants, pubs and coffee shops we walked past were packed and most of them looked like their toilets would be too small anyway. After a little trek down the street we saw a cinema that was just opening its doors and ducked inside. We’d hoped the toilets would be in the foyer as we went in but it was clear from a quick look around that they were in the area after the ticket check. I was about to turn around to leave, but you approached one of the staff,I didn’t hear quite what you said, but I definitely heard the words ‘incontinent’, ‘accident’, and ‘change’. I blushed a little, but didn’t have time to think much about it as you beckoned me over and we were ushered toward the toilets. As we got inside the accessible cubicle and you locked the door behind us, I asked what you’d told him to get him to let us use the toilet. “The truth” you replied, “that you’d had an accident in your nappy and that we needed to get you changed as soon as possible.” I nodded. You unbuttoned my jeans, then laid a changing mat down on the floor of the room. The smell was nowhere near as bad as before, but my nappy was incredibly soggy. So much so that I felt a rivulet of pee run down my leg as I was clearly having another wetting accident which had pushed it over the edge of leaking. You saw the liquid glistening on my thigh, “It seems we’ve got here just in time”. You gestured for me to lie on the changing mat. I sat down with a squish, then laid on my back. I felt a slight dampness as the nappy leaked a little more.Without much ceremony, you popped the tapes. A slight smell of poop permeated the room. Nowhere near as bad as before, but still a little stinky. Without thinking I let out a giggle. You looked at me with a slightly quizzical expression on your face, “something funny, stinky butt?” “Yep, but I’m not even sure what. I think I’m just happy?” “Oh?” “This is, what, the third time you’ve cleaned up my messy accidents today, and you’re not making a big deal of it. It’s kind of nice. Even if it’s a bit embarrassing.” “It isn’t a big deal. You have accidents, so I’m helping you cope with them.” I giggled again, “Thank you”. I felt you pull the dirty nappy out from under me, and wipe me clean. Because the mess was so much less bad than the previous ones, the change was much quicker. You slipped the clean nappy under me, and taped me back in. In a few minutes I was clean, dry and ready to get back to our adventure. Trying again, we entered the comic shop. In all honesty, ‘comic shop’ did it a bit of an injustice. . There were comics, of course, but there was also a small gallery of art, including original comic pages, and a coffee shop with a reading area. I knew you were going to want to spend time hunting down ancient back issues in their second hand bins, so I beelined for the indie comics, grabbed a graphic novel and a handful of small press titles, then went to the cafe to read them. I decided to have a hot chocolate as well. I knew what that would probably mean - a big chance of another messy accident before we went home - but at this point I was kind of past caring. So far today I’d had some of the most humiliating accidents of my life, and things had worked out OK. Also, I really wanted a hot chocolate. At the same time as buying my drink I paid for my comics, and in a few minutes I settled in a big comfy chair ready to enjoy a nice relaxing reading session. I sipped my drink and read my comic. Got completely lost in my comic, in fact. It wasn’t until I’d read through the whole thing that I realised we’d already been in there nearly an hour. I glanced around to see what you were up to. As expected, you were still going through the comic bins. I then picked up another book and started reading that. When I was about half way through the comic I felt a grumble in my tummy. I ignored it and kept reading. By the time I finished my book I realised I was going to poop. I raised myself off my chair a little and let it go. It didn’t feel like I let a lot out. Probably about twice as much as had leaked out before you last changed me, but it immediately smelled kind of bad. My cheeks felt a little hot as it occurred to me that people would be able to smell it if they came near, but then I remembered how you’d helped me make things better all day, and I went back to my comic. As I read, I had a slightly naughty idea, and started squirming around in my seat, feeling the mess moving around inside my nappy. I enjoyed being changed by you, and this would make the next change longer and more relaxing. As I wiggled around, I started to get excited. I also noticed the smell was becoming worse. That made me even more excited. I finished my comic, then glanced around to find you. From the looks of things you had found what you wanted and moved along to a different section of the shop, an area that was a little busier. Coming over to you would mean I’d have to be around quite a few people who would undoubtedly notice the smell and realise I had pooped myself. I heitated for a moment, then got up out of my comfy chair, picked up my collection of new comices, and walked towards you, sneaking up and pouncing with a hug. “Hello you” you said, a little hint of surprise in your voice, “are you done with your reading?” “I think so,” I replied, “I could read another book, but I wanted to check how you were doing before I started. I didn’t want to get interrupted by you wanting to go.” You chuckled. “Speaking of go,” you whispered, “I think you might have a stinky nappy”. I grinned at you. “Yeah. I kind of couldn’t hold it. I didn’t think you’d mind” You gave me a big smile and an even bigger hug, “I’m glad you’re feeling a bit more comfortable about that. Shall we go pay then get you cleaned up?” “Sure”. I decided to wait outside while you paid for your comics. It seemed only fair to the shop. It was one thing to have an accident in a quiet corner away from people, but it was quite another to stand in the checkout queue making everyone else uncomfortable. You came out after a few minutes. When you did you had a slightly concerned look on your face, “So the games cafe is only round the corner” You said, “We could take a walk and and find somewhere to change you before we go in, but I don’t know where to go and it might take a while to find somewhere. And right now we probably have just about enough time for one game.” I gave you a big grin, “I don’t mind, let’s go to the games cafe”. “That’ll mean that people we walk past on the way to get you changed will be sitting next to us after.” You said, making clear that I’d likely have to be around people who knew I’d been in a messy nappy a few minutes earlier. I took your hand in mine, “I know” I said, giving it a squeeze, “but you’ve looked after me so far, and I know you’ll make me feel OK when that happens too” **** It only took us a few minutes to get to the games cafe. As we stood outside we saw how busy it was though the window. “Are you sure about this?” you asked. You’d been holding my hand since we left the comic shop, it felt incredibly reassuring, “yeah, I am.” I replied, squeezing extra tight. The pace was packed. There was a row of tables between us and the toilets, and every one was crowded with people. The walkway was jammed too. Getting through was going to take quite a bit of pushing and jostling, and as we stood in the doorway I realised I smelled worse than I thought. I was beginning to regret my escapade mushing my mess against the chair. Fortunately, you took the lead, gently guiding us through the crowd. No one said anything, but I definitely saw a few twitchy noses, and got some funny looks. Eventually, After what felt like an age, but was probably less than a minute, we'd made it through the crowd and were safely shut away in the accessible toilet cubicle. Then a thought occurred to me, “A load of people just saw us walk in here together. What if they think we've come in here for sexy stuff?” “You mean me changing your messy butt isnt sexy?” You teased. “It's the sexiest thing I can think of right now” I assured you, a wryness to my tone, “but you know what I mean. I don't want to get banned from here for them thinking we were banging in the bathroom.” “Well half the people in this place almost certainly also smelled your messy nappy” you pointed out, “but if it reassures you I could always ‘accidentally’ tuck your shirt in to the top of your clean one, so everyone can see it and there's no doubt about why we came in here.” This was clearly a joke on your part. I gave it a moment's consideration. “Sure. Let's do that.” You seemed a little taken aback by this. “Where did this confidence come from?” I shrugged, “ I guess you, really.” I said, “and knowing you're looking after me.” You reached into the change bag, and pulled out one of my really thick overnight nappies. It was still plain-coloured, but it was so thick and bulky that even dry it made my jeans bulge out, and it also made me waddle a little. Most mornings after I soaked it, I’d end up toddling along like Tommy Pickles in the intro to the Rugrats. My eyes went wide. “Maybe, as you don’t mind people knowing you’re in a nappy, it’s worth putting this on you” you said, “that way I won’t have to change you until we get home.” “What if I have another messy accident?” I asked. “Then we probably need to call the Guinness Book of Records,” you joked “and a doctor.” I gave you a withering look. “But if you do, we’ll play it by ear. If it’s bad we’ll get you changed, and if it’s not I’ll keep you feeling safe and looked after until we get home.” “OK”, I said, a cheeky smile on my face. “Let’s see what I’m dealing with.” You unbuttoned my jeans, letting them drop to the floor, then turned me round and look down the back of my nappy, causing a waft of poo-smell to fill the room, then you glanced down at my thighs. “It doesn’t look all that bad” you assured me, “but it’s gone everywhere. How on earth did you get it to the top and out the leg bands?” I blushed, “It’s leaked out the legs too.” you continued, “this is going to be a pretty big clean up” You took the changing mat from the bag and laid it on the floor, “Right, stinky pants, lie down let’s get you clean.” I did as I was told, carefully laying myself down on the changing mat to avoid it leaking any more than it already had. Without my asking you popped my pacifier in my mouth and gave me my octopus to cuddle, then you untaped the nappy and set to wiping me clean. It took several minutes of careful wiping to get me clean, and I enjoyed every moment of it, giggling and squirming throughout. I wasn’t trying to make the change difficult for you, but now I had overcome a lot of the nerves around my accidents, the sensation of being wiped clean while we were in a public place felt so naughty and cute that I couldn’t help but enjoy myself. Once I was clean you held the thick, overnight nappy up once again. “Are you sure about this?” I nodded. You pulled a thick stuffer from the bag and held it up alongside the nappy, “What about this?” I hesitated for a moment, then nodded again. If it was going to be obvious that I was in a nappy, I might as well go all-in on it. You knelt down once again and slipped the nappy under my bottom, adding the stuffer underneath. Then it was time for rash creme, then baby powder, and finally you closed it up and taped it shut. I tried to close my legs. It was impossible. There was no way I was going to be able to hide the nappy now. Once you got my jeans and top back on me, you turned me around again, and adjusted my top, before gently steering me so I could see myself in the mirror. The bottom of my jumper was tucked into the waistband of my nappy, revealing it to anyone who so much as glanced at me. There was no question of why we were in the toilet together now. “Ready?” you asked, your hand on the door handle. “Ready” I said. And much to my surprise, I was. I toddled back into the cafe, following behind you. There were long tables with bench seats, where people were playing communal games, and we sat down across from a group of people who were just setting up for their next go round. We’d both played the game before, so we joined in. The people we were playing with were a really friendly group, and we found ourselves completely sucked into the game, so much so that when the waitress came round to take our drinks order, she had to ask us twice before we responded. We made sure to pay attention when she came back though, so that she wasn’t wasting time waiting for us. I’d gone for another hot chocolate, with whipped cream and marshmallows, and you had coffee. At one point during the game the nice woman sitting next to me leaned in close, “Your jumper’s ridden up a bit”, she explained, “want me to help adjust it?” “Sure,” I replied. I felt her hand on my back for a moment, and then my nappy was once again hidden away from the world. I blushed a little when she mentioned it to me, but it was only for a moment. I was having too much fun to care about silly things like being embarrassed for having accidents, and she’d not made a big deal of it at all. The game took about 90 minutes in total, and by the time we were done, the cafe staff were beginning to close up for the night. There was part of me that was disappointed by this. I was really enjoying myself, but I was also starting to realise how tiring our day had been. I got up to leave, and nearly fell over. My nappy had become even thicker than it was when I sat down. I must have peed quite a bit while we were playing, but I didn’t notice at all. I grabbed onto your arm to steady myself as I climbed back over the bench seat, and waddled to the exit. “Slightly soggy?” you teased, as you watched me walk. “I think so, yeah.” It took me a few steps to get used to the bulk between my legs, before I got used to walking with my legs so far apart, but I managed to get there. “Is it just wet?” you asked “I think so. Do you want to find somewhere to check before we get the train home?” You shrugged, “It’s not going to make much difference. If you are stinky, it’s not bad enough to smell yet, so not much point in changing you. Besides, you’d probably just poo yourself again before we get on the train anyway”, there was a big grin on your face, as you teased me. “Hey!” I replied, also smiling, “What? It’s true.” “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you need to say it.” I giggled as I said this, then gave you a hug. “Thank you for looking after me today, it’s been lovely.” “It really has.” you said, putting your arm around me and guiding me towards the train station.

Hello, As the title says, I am planning to have the incontinence surgery in Mexico that others have discussed. I reached out to the center that performs the surgery last week, and I have been told it will result in complete and irreversible urinary incontinence. I have wanted this all my life and I am ready. I will be planning to use this page to provide updates and answer any questions. I am currently working on getting my passport, and have tentatively scheduled the surgery for March 2024. Thanks and peace Edit: the surgery date was moved up to Feb 12th, 2024 Edit on 2/16/2024: the thread title was changed from "Getting Surgery in Mexico" to "Got Surgery in Mexico" because I had the surgery on Monday, 2/12. Edit: on 3/18/2024: a follow up surgery was scheduled for June 1, and the thread title was changed back to "Getting Surgery in Mexico"

So this is my first time, trying to write any kind of story revolving around ABDL and also one of the first time I've ever tried sticking my nose into creative writing at all. This is basically a preview. I would like some feedback on my writing style and also if this is an "story idea and concept" that people would like to see me put some time and effort into. To zero and back Chapter 0: ” You GOT to be joking!” My mother stared back at me with a dumbfound look on her face. “You can’t be serious, about such an idea!?” Her eyes didn’t flinch, as she just stared right at me, with a blank expression. “Mom, seriously, it’s a great idea and it’s NEVER been done before. And the people at the magazine already signed off on it. They think its brilliant! This could be my big break!” I could easily tell, that my attempts at convincing her, had little to no effect. “So let me get this straight.” Taking a zip of her coffee, she learned forward in the couch, staring even harder at me, from the other side of the living room table. “The biggest child and parent’s magazine in the country, “Mommy Mag” has agreed for you to write a parenting guide on potty-training, by first unpotty-training yourself and then training yourself again, alongside your baby cousin!? And how long did they give you to write this article?” “Two years.” I mumbled, trying to break free of her locked stare. “So what, one year to unlearn everything and then when your cousin turns three, you got one year to learn everything again alongside him and write this damn thing!?”. “Pretty much.” Her eyes did not flinch, she had barely blinked since the conversation started. “And what does the deal include.” She took another sip of her coffee. This was my shot, my one opening to sell her on the idea. “They have agreed to take care of all expenses, WHATEVER that may include, also I would be under full time contract the full 2 years, but will not have to meet into the office to work on the article. And Mom, the salary is great and when the 2 years are up, if the article gets printed, I’m guaranteed to have my contract renewed and is free to work on whatever I feel like afterward. It’s a great deal and I really think this could be my big shot, at making it in the business.” That last part wasn’t a lie, I truly did believe that this could be my chance of making it big in the journalism business. Ever since getting my degree almost a year ago, nothing had really gone my way and 12 months after finishing school, I was still living at home with my mom and had, little to no luck at getting my foot in the door anywhere. That was one of the reasons of this project of my, but there was another, one that nobody and especially my mom needed to know about. I’m an ABDL which stands for adultbaby diaper lover, it’s a kind of fetish that has its roots in ageplay and regression often revolving around wearing and using diapers. So basically being able to wear and use diapers and combine it with my work, which may lead to something bigger, while getting PAID to do so, was the ultimate dream come true. But first, I had to convince my mother, since I was living under her roof and this would come to affect her day and life. “And what does your aunt Karen and uncle Rob think of this?” “They are pretty cool with it, I’ve already ran the idea by them and it’s not like it’s really going to affect them. Especially not until cousin Jack turns two and then it’s still limited how big a part of it, he and they are going to play. I’m the test subject, Jack is only playing the role of control test, so I’ll have some routines to follow, while training myself back up.” She took another zip of her coffee cup, still looking skeptical, but her stare had lightened. “I still can’t believe, that my sister agreed to this.” She exhaled deeply. “And how exactly are you planning on….UNtraining yourself?”. “Well...” I hesitated for a second. “I’ve been reading a lot about it on the internet, there are actually a lot of information on the subject, believe it or not. In reality, it’s like un-training any other muscle and there’s also hypnosis and stuff, that should help with the process.” She continued to stare into her cup, not giving me a second look as she spoke. “Well Patrick, you’ve seem to have already made up your mind. And you’re an adult, it’s not like I can stop you and you seem to have done your research. If this is want you think you NEED to do, to get your career going and if you promise to take good care of yourself.” My eyes lit up, as she looked back up at me. “Then go for it,” JACKPOT! Chapter 1: After a rather quiet, but especially awkward dinner, I found myself sitting in front of my laptop, armed with my company credit card and ready to begin my project. Seeking out diapers was my first priority, it didn’t take me long to find a local site that sold incontinent product and offered express shipping. I ordered a case of plain white adult diapers, in medium thickness and capacity and continued on to the second target on my “to do list”. I had been looking at hypnotic ABDL files for a while. Most of them seemed too good to be true, offering complete incontinent and mental regression. But at one point I stumbled upon a webpage that didn’t promise too much and actually sported some great review of their files. One file offered help to induce urinary incontinent, making the listener more open to the thought of becoming less bladder control aware and accepting this fact. Another offered the same but included bowel incontinence. But the one I had my eyes on, offered both of these, plus included ties to mental regression and acceptance. Linking the thought of becoming incontinent, with the thought of being a toddler or infant. Mentioning allowing the user to not be embarrassed by the idea of wearing and using diapers, because that is what babies would do and making “giving up control” easier, as this train of thought and connection between the two grew stronger. That was all I needed to read and within seconds the file was ordered and arrived in my email inbox. That would be all, I would need for now and I put my trusted company card away and decided to call it a night. But not before transferring the hypnotic file to my phone, so I could listen to it while I slept. Laying in my bed, I plugged my headset in and played the file, which sadly turned out to be a disappointment. The field proved to be some sort of subliminal message, just a random mix of radio scatter and sounds bites. The only noticeable feature, was a faint sound of a nursery lullaby appearing from time to time. But still I found the simple thought of the promised effect and what awaited me in the near future arousing and jacked myself to a major orgasm, before falling asleep, the file still playing in my ears. I woke up the next morning refreshed and excited. Luckily Mom had left for work, when I got up so awkward encounter ruined the morning as I had breakfast and started my day. I did not achieve a lot that day, as I constantly found myself checking the driveway waiting for the delivery of my diaper order. But I did manager to kill some time in front of my laptop and after much thought came up with a name for my article. “To zero and back” I said to myself as a wrote the headline on the word document. That name seemed fitting, as I would be going back to zero potty training and then back again afterwards. The mere thought of that, got me excited. Finally, the doorbell sounded and I sprang across the house. Opening the door, I was greeted by a UPS driver, holding a large cardboard box in his arms. Quickly signing for the order and sending him on his way, I ran back across the house and into my room, throwing the box onto my bed before ripping it open. Inside I found exactly what I ordered. A shipment of plain white diapers, enough to surely last me a while. At least in the beginning. Now came the part I had been waiting for. Time to put on, what hopefully was my first of many diapers for a long time. I ripped one of the diapers out of the box and sniffed it. No apparent smell hit, to my disappointment, so I quickly continued to open the diaper and spread it out on my before, taking a second to admire it, before slowly unbuttoning my jeans and letting them drop down around my ankles, before stepping out of them. Next I removed my underwear, realizing this may be the last time in a while, that I wore such a pair of boxerbriefs. I turned around and placed my bum on the diaper, it felt thinner than expected, but still the feeling of the soft padding, sent chills down my spine, as I laid back and put the front up between my legs. Next came the tapes, which proved to be quite a challenge, as each side sported 2 pieces of sticky material. It took a lot of fiddling and several on and off attempts but finally I had all four pieces of tape attached and the diaper secured around my waist. After standing up and walking over to my bedroom mirror to inspect myself, it became clear that “secured” may have been an overstatement. The diapers were hanging rather loose and slightly crocket around my hips. It took 5 more minutes of fiddling and opening and reapplying the tapes, before I ended up with a semi acceptable result. There I stood, dressed in nothing but my t-shirt and a crinkly white diaper. This was a dream come true, but the dream quickly ended as I heard the front door open and my Mom enter the house. I panicked and quickly ran to pick up my pants, we may have had the talk and this may be a dream come true, but I was nowhere near ready to let my Mom see me, in just a diaper. The pants proved to be a challenge to put on, the diaper was thicker than expected and it took quiet a lot of effort to force my pants up and over the diaper, but I managed to close them around my waist and went to greet my Mom. As I entered the kitchen to meet her, I became aware of the crinkle that followed my every step, as a result of the diaper moving around my hips. I slowed my movement, careful not to walk to fast, as a mean to dampen the noise of my new underwear. “Oh there you are, so how has your day been?” My Mom was busy unpacking the groceries as I entered. “Fine I guess, I’ve got a bit of writing done and I even came up with a title for my article.” I picked up a grocery bag from the table and start unloading it into the cabinet. My Mom stood quiet for a moment, staring down at me, as I was kneeling in front of the cabinet. “So, how does it feel?”. I looked up at her with a confused look. “What do you mean?” I folded up the bag and stood back up. “How does it feel being back in diapers?” My mouth dropped for a second. “How did you know?” My response triggered a chuckle from her. “It pretty hard not to notice, that crinkle is pretty hard to ignore, also its peaking up from the back of your pants when you squat down and when you entered, you were waddling almost like a toddler trying to hide it.” She continued to chuckle, as she put the bags away. “Guess it’s something we both have to get used to. It’s not like you can sneak around for the next 2 years, trying to hide it.” At this point my face was burning bright red, this was one of the things I hadn’t thought about, but she was right. I spent the next few hours “hiding” in my room, trying to avoid awkward diaper contact with my Mom, until the time came for my bladder to declare itself “full”. “This is it.” I mumbled to myself, as I stood up from my desk. Standing in the center of my room, I closed my eyes and relaxed my body. Nothing. I took a deep breath, exhaled and relaxed. Again, nothing. This was proving to be quite a challenge, and this whole untraining concept, may be harder than expected. Once again I took a deep breath, held it, exhaled and FINALLY. I felt a warm flow spread around my crotch, as the diaper flooded and consumed the urine flowing from my body. The warmth continued to spread across the front of the diaper, slowly making its way towards the back and… DOWN MY LEG!? I opened my eyes, just in time to catch the first drops of liquid, roll my thigh and onto the floor. “SHIT!” I mumbled loudly. The flow of urine stopped, but it was clear that my diaper had leaked and I had managed to make a mess on the floor. “Guess I didn’t do such a good job after all.” I thought, as I stood there contemplating my situation. I quickly made my way to the bathroom. First to rip off the “failed” diaper and wash myself off with a cloth, before grapping a roll of paper and run back to my room for a quick clean up. With the mess taken care off, I dropped the used diaper in the bathroom waste bin and soon found myself back in my room, fresh diaper in hand and ready to give it another try. Once again I placed the diaper on my bed and started placing it around my hips. AND once again I found myself having to fiddle with the tapes for several minutes, applying and reapplying them, before I ended up with an acceptable result. At this time, Mom was yelling that dinner was ready, so I threw my pants back on and slowly snuck my way to join her. Nothing particular happened for the rest of the night, as we both tried avoiding starting any awkward conversation during dinner, before I quickly snuck my way back to the safety of my room, where I spent the rest of the night, until it was time for bed. Laying in my bed that night, the hypnotic file playing through my headset. I quickly discovered that falling asleep wearing my new underwear would prove to be a challenge. The extra padding between my legs, made laying on my side rather difficult, not to mention the loud crinkle that followed my every movement and the extreme heat that was generated around my groin. But finally after much tossing and turning, I drifted off to sleep. 1 day down, 729 to go.

Hi ! This is my first story here, i hope you'll like it. I've been reading ABDL stories here for a while now and i've always liked creating stories, so i thought i should make my own one. I'm not a writter, and i'm pretty sure my writing style is pretty bad (+ my native language is not english). But, who cares, i mean i enjoy writing this, i guess that's the most important, and i hope you'll enjoy reading it Feel free to give your opinion ! ----------------------------------- Kelia's New Childhood Kelia felt terrible. She had just had another argument with her mother. Her relationship with her mother had been deteriorating for months, ever since she turned 18 in fact. Her mother has always been rather restrictive, which has always upset her, as Kelia has always had a rather rebellious and independent nature since she was a teenager. But the fact that this hadn't changed since she turned 18 annoyed her even more. She was an adult now, yet she felt that her mother still treated her like a child. She wasn't allowed to go out as she pleased, rarely allowed to invite friends over or sleep over. Kelia took a deep breath. If her mother had taught her anything, it was how to deal with emotions. It was already late, but she wasn't tired, so she plunged into her sketchbooks, until she finally fell asleep on her desk. The next morning, Kelia awoke to the sound of her bedroom door opening softly. Her mother appeared in the doorframe. "Can I come in?" Her mother asked in a soft voice. Kelia nodded, yawning. Her mother entered, closing the door behind her. She sat down on the bed and beckoned Kelia to come and sit beside her. Kelia was apprehensive about the discussion that was about to take place. When her mother looked so soft and solemn, especially soon after an argument, it often meant that she was about to make an important decision. Kelia came and sat down next to her mother, who remained silent for a moment, seemingly searching for words. "Kelia, these last few months have been complicated for both of us, with a lot of tension." began her mother. "Last night I called Mickaela, my friend who works in psychiatry who I told you about the other day. I explained our problems to her, and she suggested a solution. It's a special program based on a new technology that consists of... regress a person in order to soften their behavior, or relieve them of pressure." Kelia wasn't sure she understood, but it didn't sound like good news. Her mother resumed: "I signed you up for this program. All you have to do is sign a few papers. Then, the doctors will use a machine to make you smaller. The program is supposed to last 1 year." Kelia, confused, practically cut her mother off. "Wait, I don't understand, what do you mean by regress? What do you mean shrink me? I don't know what you're talking about." Her mother cleared her throat and spoke again. "Well, this program consists of making you relive your early childhood, and everything that goes with it. Basically, you'll become a baby again for the space of a year." Kelia almost let out a nervous laugh, so surreal was what she'd just heard. She knew her mother could sometimes go too far when it came to punishment, or Kelia's behavior in general, but this was beyond anything she could have imagined. She seriously considered for a few moments that her mother might be playing a joke on her. Did such "technology" even really exist? And how far would her regression go? Kelia tried to organize her thoughts and answered her mother. "What if I refuse and don't sign those papers you mentioned?" Her mother thought for a moment. "You don't have a choice. You're living under my roof, you're obliged to comply. You probably won't like this experience at first, but it's for your own good, and it's an opportunity to reforge a healthy mother-daughter relationship. I assure you, it will bring you nothing but happiness." A slight smile appeared on her mother's face, but Kelia began to get angry. "No! I don't want that, we'll do what you want, we'll have counselling sessions if that's what you want, but not that, that's ridiculous!" "Kelia, I've already made up my mind." Replied her mother in a firmer tone. "I'm your mother, and as long as you're living here, I'm the one who decides." "But I'm an adult! I'm 18, I have the right to make my own decisions!" "Kelia, that's enough." Her mother frowned, and took a warning tone. Kelia knew it was pointless to argue, that once her mother had made her decision there was no going back. But it all seemed so ridiculous, it was hard to believe. Kelia's mother took a piece of paper out of her pocket and unfolded it. "Here's the paper you have to sign." The tone of her voice clearly left no room for discussion and Kelia knew it. She couldn't refuse to sign it, otherwise where would she sleep? Would her mother be able to throw her out? Kelia wasn't sure, but knowing her mother, she certainly didn't want to tempt the devil. She grabbed the paper and stood up, walking over to her desk, grabbing a pen and reluctantly signing at the bottom of the sheet filled with long blocks of text that she didn't even take the time to read. Looking satisfied, her mother stood up. "We have an appointment tomorrow afternoon at the hospital." The tone of his voice softened a little, as if to change the subject. "Now come and join your sister and me downstairs for breakfast." She said, smiling slightly.

I just absolutely love the new wetness indicator on these Rearz Daydreamer diapers. No yellow stripes that turn blue. No little shapes or characters that fade away. It's just plain and simple, my pee shows through and makes the diaper turn yellow. Maybe it's not for everyone, but I really like how it looks. I'm sitting here in my recliner in my diaper and a T-shirt watching the yellow spot in my diaper slowly expand over time. It's awesome. I really need to get some Vitamin D. I can't wait to make the diaper turn brown.

Source: https://www.etsy.com/shop/PupusDiapers?ref=l2-about-shopname

Thank you for telling me this. Sometimes I worry that I'm tooting my own horn playing with my imaginary friends. It's good to know they're other people's imaginary friends, too. NGL, I teared up writing "I've got you boss".

I admire your commitment and I wish you all the best. There are a lot of people here who are interested in hearing how you make out, @Reddy.

I have rarely read a chapter so full of emotion. It was absolutely brilliant and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Vickie's got a great job! Treat yourself to a nice mid-morning orgasm, write the experience up in a report, and collect your paycheck. Ah, but Sarah's on to her. How far down the rabbit hole will Vickie end up going?

Other At this juncture. I am known by my medical team that I suffer from urge incontinence. I am married 12 years to the love of my life who accepted my diapers from day one. so why do I want to go further? I am tired of massive floods making me need high capacity diapers that can still fail. I want smaller urinations and not giant wetting. I feel this will allow me not needing to be so concerned about the integrity of the diaper when leaving the house or away.

Tankies you guys!!

Hello

Hi MAX, and welcome to DD. Glad to have you here with us. Grab a high chair, and make yourself at home! There’s lots of good likeminded people here. Any questions, just ask. Relax, have fun, and enjoy!

Yes, quite a bit over time. 😃

I just thought his mother used the day he started wearing for the article as his new birthday

i just feel so much better mentally when diapered. Using diapers just feels right to me and lessens my general mood of anxiety. I just really want to have some kind of legitimate need for them always have.

If you don't waddle like a duck, it's not thick enough.

Chapter 76: Meanwhile… I LOOKED AROUND the room and saw that the other three guys were trying to stay awake but seemingly failing at it. I debated where I wanted to talk to my family inside the nest. A moment into pondering, I suddenly remembered that the neural interface meant I wouldn’t be audibly talking in the virtual space. I settled into a bean bag chair off to the side and donned the glasses. I’d learned several tricks over the weekend, so I made sure that I set up the proximity sensors to go off if anyone approached. I was able to place an extension on my pod area of the room, too, so I could be sure no one messed with my stuff while I was in the space! Several moments later, I ran through the instructions and found myself in a virtual room with a wall-sized TV screen. I ensured I wore a casual pair of jeans and an Emerson sweatshirt before activating the inter-dimensional connection Grandma had set up. My moms and sisters suddenly appeared on the giant screen before me a moment later. “Connor!” they all said at once. I did my best not to cry when I saw them. I really missed them a lot!!! “Hi guys,” I told them. “How’s it going?” “Lousy!” Riley said first, “We miss you, Con!!!” “I miss you too,” I said, suddenly feeling a stone in my stomach as I realized how much. “You look good,” Mama said to me. “Well, this is a virtual version of me; I’d hope so?” I smiled. I noted having a two-dimensional screen of them in the EdgeSphere world was a bit weird compared to the three-dimensional projections I’d become accustomed to over the past four weeks. “Nerd,” Rylie kidded me. I smiled, “Duh! By the way, everyone here was really impressed with your version of photos, Ry!” She blushed, “Thanks.” “So, what have you all been up to?” I asked them. The entire family on the other side of the screen suddenly left me feeling disconnected, but it was good to see them! “Well, we had our national cheer competition this past weekend,” Lila said. “We didn’t win but came in as runner-up in our pom division!” Hannah added. “That’s so cool! Congrats! I wish I’d been there to see it,” I told them. They shrugged, “You’re off on a bigger adventure anyway,” Lila said. “What else is new?” I asked them. Rylie told me about how she’d been selected for an art show in Paris that summer. “I’m so excited! I know we’ve been to the Louvre and most of the major museums over the past few years, but it’s a lot crazier to think I’ll be featured in a major gallery not far from them!” “That’s awesome!” I told her, “I can’t wait to go!” Her face turned, “You will be back, right?” “Not planning on staying, Ry,” I told them. Mom asked, “So your Grandma said there have been some issues?” “I’m not sure how secure this connection is?” Grandma chose that moment to let herself in. “Secure enough,” she told me. I looked up at her and realized I hadn’t adjusted my height settings, so it was clear that I was less than half her height. “Whoa!” Lila and Hannah said together. “Hi, Grandma,” Rylie said. “She’s so tall!” Mama said, for the first time, having the context of my size to compare with her. “Well, I shrank a bit when I came through,” I reminded her. “So, what’s been happening?” Mom asked, clearly unwilling to allow distractions now that she knew it was secure. “Well, things started the first week I got here…?” I filled them in on the accidents, the poisoning of the first meal, and the first couple of weeks. I told the story of my fiery food challenge, but for good reasons, I held back the effects I suffered. Mom gave me a knowing look, and I suspected she already knew somehow. We told them about the previous week, and I tried to avoid getting into the details. Grandma decided just to come out with it, though. “They poisoned him with LittleGo Plus last week, Stacy,” she told her. “What’s the plus?” Mom asked. “Extra nanites that keep making that breast milk protein,” Grandma replied. “What about the nanites he had already?” “They fought with the new ones valiantly but were getting overwhelmed. We had to completely eliminate all of the nanites inside of Connor.” Grandma told her. “That’s not good,” Mom said. “Definitely not the best thing, but it was the best we could do, unfortunately.” “Connor, you have to keep a closer eye on things,” Mom told me with a sigh. “What else is happening?” Lilah asked nervously, sensing a desire from me to change the subject! I mentally projected, ‘Thanks, sis!’ “So anyway, I guess the big thing is the film project we’re getting ready to ramp up with filming tomorrow,” I told them. “What’s it about?” Rylie asked me. I blushed. “Well…” I stalled. “If you don’t tell them, I will?” Grandma said. I groaned, “Well, it’s about as cliché of a story as we could have here… Basically, a mom is having problems potty training her daughter, who’s going to be held back from going to kindergarten over it for a second year. One of her friends…” Mom looked both sick and shook her head while laughing nervously, “Not that stupid potty training buddy trope?” I nodded. “Potty training, buddy?” Hannah asked. I turned redder, “Basically, if your kid can’t learn how to use the potty with every other trick, you adopt a Little to train both side by side.” I worried my sisters were going to laugh at me. I figured for certain Rylie would make a smart-aleck comment about finally being the oldest. I assumed that Lila and Hannah would come up with something snarky about it being their turn to change my diapers or something… Instead, all five of my family members back home stared at me slack-jawed. “You can’t do this!” Mom told me, “You have to tell them no!” “Are you crazy?” Rylie asked me. I could see tears forming in her eyes. “It’s okay!” I told them. “Almost everyone is supportive and will not let anything happen to me. Besides, we have to use group members as cast - it’s one of the rules?” “Who’s playing the potty dunce?” Mom asked. I sighed, “Beth?” “Cameron is going to kill anyone who hurts her,” Mom said. “Her mom’s probably none-too-likely to let things go either,” Grandma said. “I don’t like it any more than you do, sweetie, but I think they’re safe?” “Mommy, you have to protect them,” Mom said to Grandma. I noticed her blush as she realized she had reverted to her name when she’d lived there. “I’ll do everything I can. They have a major acting starlet in their group that I think will probably do more than I can.” “Major star?” Lila asked. “She was on a long-running TV show that she basically grew up on from like age four to her teen years,” I told them. “Kind of cute. It reminds me of some of those old Disney Channel shows Mama used to insist we watch when we were kids.” “Cool!” Hannah said. “Is she nice?” Rylie asked. “Really nice; she laid down the law about picking on Beth and me during our first meeting. She was helpful today, too, as we were doing our costume fitting.” “Making sure diapers fit you alright?” Lila prodded. “Something like that,” I blushed. I tried to think of something to change the subject again. “Hey, Mom?” “Yes?” “One of the nest mothers here was helping me out the other day with some problems. She said her mom met you once?” “What was her mom’s name?” Mom asked. “Kylie?” I paused, “I don’t know her maiden name; her married name, I think, must be Desmond; that’s her daughter’s last name, at least.” Mom looked thoughtful, “I don’t recognize that name.” I saw her consider things for a moment, and given her crazy memory, I was shocked that she didn’t immediately know who I was asking about. “Mommy, does that ring a bell for you?” Grandma looked just as thoughtful, “I don’t think so? This nest mother, what’s her name?” “Lilly?” “She’s a Big, right?” “Yes, as far as I know, it’s a requirement to be a nest mother, right?” Grandma shrugged, “Not technically, but I’m sure no one would apply or be accepted if they weren’t.” “So, no idea?” I asked. “No?” Mom said. “She mentioned it may have been such a short interaction you may not have remembered?” Mom shrugged, “Anything is possible if she was a student at the university?” I nodded, “It’s weird she’d mention it, though,” I told her. Grandma seemed to be making a note in her head as we moved on to the next topic of conversation. Apparently, Rylie had a new boyfriend, and the twins insisted they needed to tell me about him and their disastrous first date! The six of us talked for a long while, with Grandma doing an excellent job occasionally sharing an embarrassing story of Mom’s time here. Eventually, an alarm I had set up to alert me of it getting too late went off. “I hate to leave, guys, but I need to get some sleep before tomorrow. It’s going to be a long day,” I told them all. My sisters both looked sad about it, and Mama looked devastated at the end of the call, too. Mom, however, had a more thoughtful look. “We need to do this again in a couple of weeks; I don’t want to lose touch, Connor.” “Yes, ma’am,” I told her. “I love you guys.” I heard a chorus of ‘Love you’s’ back from my sisters and moms before hanging up with them. Grandma was still in the virtual room, “Did you need something else, Grandma?” I asked. She shook her head, “I’m going to look into this Lilly girl more. Tell me more about her, though, first?” I thought for a second, “I don’t know her that well other than she swims in the mornings at the same time as me. We actually race each other in the water quite often, too?” “What else?” “Well, she was in the nest the night Mackenzie had to deal with the Littles who tried framing me?” Grandma nodded, “Anything else?” “When Beth overheard them at the table with that other girl, she said Lilly seemed as mad as anyone? She also seemed sympathetic as she gave me a spare diaper from one of her girls?” “Hmm…” Grandma said with a sigh. “Lilly Desmonde… time to figure out who you are. I’ll get back to you tomorrow if I can,” Grandma said. “I don’t like anyone with connections to your mom’s time making cryptic remarks like that. She had some friends, but she also pissed off a lot of people too.” I nodded, “Yeah, she told me many of the stories before I came.” “Anyway, you need to get some sleep! Good night,” She told me. The connection instantly severed even though I hadn’t exited myself. ‘Of course, Grandma would have a way to kick me out,’ I thought with a shake of my head. I pulled the glasses off my head and looked around the room. The lights had dimmed to darkness, and I could tell the other guys had called it a night. Unfortunately, my need to go pee was building, but I wasn’t quite sure what to do. It was growing rapidly, and I knew I would not make it to the morning! Right then, Mackenzie came out of her door. “Finally stopped playing games?” She asked with a little bit of an annoyed tone. I shook my head, “I wasn’t playing games; I was talking with my grandmother.” “Oh?” “Really – we were talking about some of the things happening this past week?” She looked a little less sure of herself then. “Sorry, I assumed you were playing games… You probably should think about some sleep?” I nodded, “Yeah… umm…” “Need to go potty?” She asked me. I blushed but nodded, “Would you mind helping me?” With a sigh, she picked me up off the floor. “Let’s put these down on your desk,” she said, taking the glasses from me and doing so. I was carried to the bathroom, and she just pulled the diaper off in front of the toilet, “Go ahead and go potty, Connor.” I couldn’t help but still blush as I sat on the tiny toilet and relieved myself. I was amazed by just how much I needed to go! In fact, I suddenly realized that the food from earlier was already making an appearance. I groaned as I pushed waves of soft poop that was borderline runny into the bowl. When the contractions finally stopped, it took me several moments to wipe while Mackenzie stood there. With each wipe, I noted the burning sensation that seemed far more intense than the flavor of the food going down! When the wipes finally ran clean, I stood up. “All done?” Mackenzie asked then. I nodded. She picked me up and carried me over to a taller counter area that, from what I’d seen, was never used. I realized why as she laid me down, and I realized it was just another changing table! My diaper was retaped onto my body, and she carried me over to wash my hands and hers. “Okay, done for the night?” She asked. I nodded, “Swim tomorrow, right?” She nodded, “Sure, but you need to get some sleep!” I nodded in agreement, “Good idea!” A few minutes later, I was out like a light, having stayed up much longer than I had any other night at Emerson so far! BETH FOUND HERSELF cuddling Rings that night as she worked on homework. The fact she had already had to wear one diaper today was not a pleasant memory. ‘I wonder if I have to actually poop them?’ Beth nervously wondered. She was way too scared to ask that question! It was hard for her to turn off her thoughts about the film and work on homework, but she did her best. She sent a couple of replies to Livy when she texted her but didn’t really engage with any of her friends that night. She finally gave in long before she’d typically go to sleep, dressed in her pajamas, and crawled into bed. Rachel popped up just long enough to tuck her in and disappeared. ‘I don’t want to be a Little again…’ Beth thought worriedly as she closed her eyes. ‘Connor did look cute, though,’ she had to admit. ‘He really doesn’t seem to mind the trans part of his character. If anything, I think he might like it?’ She wondered if Connor felt that way in real life and what it might mean for any relationship between them moving forward. All she could think of, though, over and over again, was Charlotte Perez putting her in a diaper. The memory of how small and helpless she felt as she taped the horrible garment shut haunted her. Finally, when sleep came for her, she kept waking up as several dreams in a row found herself cared for in a nursery sized for her… +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thanks for reading!!! Please leave me a comment and press the like button! Remember all of my completed works are available on Amazon! Purchasing those works helps keep me motivated and inspired to keep writing! 🙂 (Thanks to anyone who does do so or has done so!) https://www.amazon.com/author/babysofia

Chapter 4: Eyes that know too much Aidan caught my eye, and in it, I saw a flicker of understanding—or was it pity? His hand found mine, a firm grip that yanked me back to the present, away from the suffocating cloud of embarrassment. Weaving through the throng of students, he led me like I was some lost kid at a fair. I could feel the stares drilling into my back, the whispers that scuttled from mouth to ear. "Check out diaper boy," someone snickered, a jab that knotted my insides tighter. Aidan notices my distress and squeezes my hand reassuringly. "Don't worry, little guy," he says softly. "We'll get you cleaned up quickly and get you back to your day.” * * * The door to the changing station swung open, and the scene inside mocked everything I was. Huge changing tables lined the walls, their surfaces gleaming under the bright lights. Each one bore straps decorated with cartoons – grinning bears and dancing rabbits – their cheerfulness a stark contrast to the dread knotting my stomach. I clenched my fists tighter, nails digging into my palms as if they could anchor me to a reality where this wasn't happening. But it was no use; this was Amazonia's reality, and I was caught in its snare. Aidan guided me to one of the tables. "It's for your own good," he said softly. But his words sounded hollow against the backdrop of infantile illustrations staring back at me. "I'm not some... some baby," I muttered, the fight simmering beneath my breath. My underwear felt like a thin shield of dignity that I clung to desperately. "No one thinks you are," Aidan tried to reassure me. But we both knew it was a lie painted over an unforgiving truth. I stumbled against the table's edge, its height forcing me to crane my neck upward. The cold surface seemed to wait for me with open arms – an invitation to surrender all that I was. A shiver ran down my spine as I imagined myself lying there, helpless and exposed. "You don't have to do this," I pleaded one last time, hoping for an ounce of mercy in Aidan's eyes. But all he did was offer a sad smile that didn't reach his eyes. "It's just how things are done here," he whispered as if sharing a secret I already knew but wished to forget. I looked down at my hands, now open and empty by my sides. The defiance drained from them like water through open fingers, leaving behind only the dread of what was about to come. "Please," I begged, my voice cracking under the weight of my plea. "Just let me clean myself up. I don't need... this." I gestured helplessly at the looming tables with their juvenile restraints. He looked at me with those eyes that seemed to understand too much, yet offered no reprieve. "Listen, it's not about what you need or don't need. It's about following the rules here. You know that." Anger flared within me, a desperate fire against the cold reality of his words. "But these aren't my rules!" I shouted, louder than I intended. "I'm not one of your... your little to be diapered and coddled!" Aiden's expression softened for a moment, but it was like watching empathy from behind a glass wall – close enough to see, too far to touch. "I know you're not," he said quietly. "But causing a scene won't change anything." "Fine," I said at last, the word tasting like ash in my mouth. "Do what you must." And with that surrender. Aiden's hands were gentle, but firm as they guided my wrists into the straps. "There we go, just a little snug so you don't wiggle around too much," he cooed, the straps clicking into place. His voice held that sing-song quality used on unruly kids, grating against my every nerve. I tugged at the restraints, a futile attempt to free myself. The straps held fast, unyielding. I exhaled a defeated sigh, feeling every bit the part of a misbehaving child they saw me as. "Now let's get you out of those icky pants," Aiden continued, his tone absurdly soothing as he peeled away the last of my dignity along with my soiled clothes. "Accidents happen, but we'll have you all fresh and clean in no time!" I lay there, stripped of more than just my clothes—stripped of pride, autonomy, adulthood. "I'm not a kid," I murmured, the protest weak even to my own ears. Aiden chuckled softly. "Of course you're not. You're just a big boy who had a little mishap. Happens to the best of us!" His words felt like pats on the head, well-meaning but utterly patronizing. Heat crept up my cheeks as I lay there exposed, the childish prints on the straps mocking me from above. "Just... just get it over with," I muttered, wishing I could sink through the table and disappear. His hands, steady and impersonal, slipped under my knees, lifting them with a practiced ease that had no place in my world of wrenches and engines. "This isn't how it's supposed to be," I muttered, my voice betraying a tremble I hadn't intended. The smell was overwhelming, and I squirmed in discomfort as he reached for a warm, wet wipe. The wipe was rough against my skin as he scrubbed away at the mess, paying special attention to the creases and folds where dirt tended to accumulate. It was an intimate and humiliating experience, but I felt a sense of relief as the wipe began to clean me up. As he continued to clean me, I could feel his fingers probing deeper into my crevices, searching for any traces of waste that may have been missed. It was an invasive feeling, but I remained still and cooperative as he worked. "There you go, almost done," he cooed, as if his soothing tone could somehow make the situation less degrading. "It's not fair," I grumbled under my breath, the words spilling out like oil from a leaky gasket. "I'm not some kid who can't handle himself." "I know it doesn't seem fair," Aiden replied, his voice calm and infuriatingly reasonable. "But it's just how things work around here. You'll get used to it." * * * My eyes fix on Aidan as he grabs a diaper from the stack, the sound of it fluffing up like some mocking applause. He unfolds it with a swift motion, his hands practiced and sure. I can't believe this is happening. The plastic backing crinkles loudly in the silent room. "Legs up, Bix," Aidan instructs, his voice calm and without a trace of mockery. I comply, feeling every shred of my dignity peeling away with the sound of the diaper rustling beneath me. He slides it under my backside, the cool touch of the inner lining sending a shiver up my spine. The front gets pulled up between my legs, snug against my skin. "Easy now, it'll be over before you know it," he says, almost gently. I clench my jaw to keep from spitting out the anger boiling inside me. The tapes secure with a definitive ripping sound, each one a nail in the coffin of my adulthood. He adjusts the fit, ensuring it's tight enough not to leak but not so much that it'd chafe. "This is ridiculous," I grumbled, unable to keep the bitterness from seeping into my voice. "It's just how things are done here," Aiden replied, sliding the diaper under me with an efficiency that only deepened my humiliation. "Better safe than sorry, right?" Aidan unbuckles the straps that held me down during this ordeal and helps me off the table with a firm hand under my arm. As I find my feet, he gives a pat to the back of my newly adorned garment, making me cringe at the soft puffing noise it makes against my backside. "See? All done," Aidan says with an infuriating hint of pride in his voice. I stand there for a moment, frozen by humiliation and disbelief. Then, almost involuntarily, my hand drifts down to explore this alien thing hugging my hips. I press against it; the childish drawings on its surface – little rockets and stars – —the bulk between my legs and the way it forced my thighs apart just slightly do nothing to comfort me. Instead, they scream out that I'm no longer seen as an adult here. I sigh heavily, feeling each crinkle echo through the room like distant thunder. "Happy now?" I mutter bitterly under my breath. "Thanks," I muttered sarcastically. "Nothing like being babied to boost your self-esteem." Aiden's expression softened slightly. "Hey, don't let it get to you. You're not the first to have an accident around here." "Yeah? Well, it doesn't exactly feel like an accomplishment." I sighed heavily and looked down at myself—a grown man dressed in what was essentially an oversized baby diaper decorated with flying cartoons. I took an experimental step and winced at the unmistakable sound that followed. This was going to be a long semester. *** Aiden snagged my hand, his grip firm, like I was some wayward toddler instead of a guy who had built his first engine at ten. "Come on, Bix, let's get you home." I yanked back, the heat of anger flushing my cheeks. "No way am I walking across campus like this!" He tilted his head, and his voice dropped to that singsong lilt Bigs used when they thought they were being soothing. "Don't throw a fit, little man. You don't want a spanking here, do you?" My teeth clenched so tight I thought they might crack. The threat, wrapped in childish taunting, made my blood boil. But what choice did I have? A public spanking would only add to my current shame. So, I fell into step beside him, my shoes scuffing against the floor as if to voice my silent protest. I was a bundle of raw nerves, every sound and sensation amplified. And then it happened—the sudden warmth spreading against my skin, the softness beneath me giving way to an unmistakable squish. My stomach lurched; this couldn't be real. My steps faltered as the mess shifted with each movement—a grim reminder of my current state. Aiden glanced over, no sympathy in his eyes. "Keep moving," he ordered. But I was rooted to the spot, terror freezing me as another wave of warmth flooded the front of the diaper. Giggles from passing Bigs pierced me like a barrage of bullets. Laughter bubbled up around us like poison gas—Bigs snickering as they passed by. Their eyes were on me, on the sagging diaper now heavy with my shame. "Looks like someone's had an accident," one called out in amusement. "Aw, does the little baby need his mommy?" another teased with a cruel smile. Aiden tugged on my hand again, harder this time. "We don't have all day." I stumbled forward, the weight of the used diaper dragging me down with every step. It clung to me like a second skin—a loathsome, squelching layer that broadcasted my humiliation with each movement. As we walked on—Aiden unfazed and me fighting back tears—I could feel it sagging between my legs, the once crisp material now a sodden mess sticking uncomfortably to my thighs. The padding squished audibly beneath me, a constant reminder of what had just transpired. The dorms loomed ahead—a sanctuary in sight—but with each step I took in that disgusting diaper, it felt more like a walk of shame than anything else.

Chapter 7 : Public wetting Kelia was awakened in the middle of the night by a pain in her bladder. Her body was telling her it needed to go to the bathroom. She knew very well that there was absolutely no way of getting to the bathroom, and being very tired, she wanted to get back to sleep as quickly as possible. So she decided to let herself go in her diaper. She didn't have much choice. The feeling of the diaper heating up and filling up still felt strange, but she had to face the fact that she was going to have to get used to it. Once she'd finished emptying her bladder, she closed her eyes to drift off to sleep, still sucking on her pacifier. Kelia found it hard to admit, but it was true that it was rather comforting to have a pacifier to suck on. She wouldn't do it in front of other people, though. --------------------------------------------------- When Kelia finally woke up the next morning, she was still feeling a bit groggy. It was hard to get a good night's sleep these days. Evidently, she was awakened by her mother, who came into the room to get her up. "Good morning, baby." She said in a gentle voice. Kelia sat up and left her pacifier on the bed as her mother lifted her out of the crib. She felt her mother examine her diaper with her hand as she carried her. It was still humiliating, but at least she figured she'd be entitled to a slightly more comfortable diaper. However, her mother carried her out of the room, down the stairs to the living room. "Aren't... Aren't you going to change me?" As she said this, Kelia blushed heavily. She was ashamed to ask her mother to change her diaper, but a cold diaper was unpleasant enough, and she'd like to get out of it quickly. "No sweetheart, your diaper can still hold until we leave." Leave? To go where? Kelia's heart began to beat quite hard. "What do you mean? Where are we going?" She asked, worried. "We're just going out to do some shopping, I need more stuff for you." Kelia was dreading this. Going out in public? Like this? It was beyond her means. "Maybe I could stay here..." "I'm not going to leave you home alone unsupervised, what kind of mother do you take me for?" Her mother replied as if her question sounded absurd. Kelia didn't fight any longer. She had come to understand over the last few days that if her mother wanted her to do something, she would do it whether she wanted to or not. Her mother headed for the kitchen to retrieve a baby bottle of milk from the microwave, then sat down on the sofa to give Kelia her bottle. Kelia didn't resist and sucked the bottle's teat. Sarah arrived in the living room just as Kelia was finishing her bottle. She was already fully dressed and ready to go out. "Hi Mom! Hi Kelia!" She said with her usual enthusiasm. The landline phone began to ring and Kelia was set down on the floor. "You've got 10 minutes to play before we leave." Her mother said as she hurried to answer the phone. Kelia dreaded going into a public place. How could she go public like this? Would people realize that she wasn't really a baby? How would they react? A whole host of questions, each more distressing than the last, raced through her mind, but she tried to distract herself. Her diaper was getting pretty uncomfortable at this point and she was really hoping to be changed soon. She never thought she'd look forward to a diaper change. Sarah sat down on the sofa and turned on the TV to watch cartoons. It wasn't exciting, but it passed the time. Besides, even if the situation made it rather embarrassing, Kelia still liked to watch a few childhood cartoons now and then. However, Kelia could vaguely hear her mother talking on the phone in the next room, and this distracted her. She strained her ear to try and hear what she was saying, but could only hear a few snatches of conversation. "Yes! Tomorrow afternoon and evening until I get home around 8 or 9! Absolutely..." That was all Kelia could hear. The idea of going out again the next day didn't really appeal to Kelia, and she had no idea where they could be going at such an hour, or who she was talking to. She thought maybe it was a delivery man or something, even if it was weird. Her mother finished her call soon after and came to pick her up. "Come on, let's get you changed and dressed." She told her as she lifted Kelia and walked back up to her room. She was placed on the changing table and the buttons of her onesie were removed and her mother took off her onesie. It was very strange for Kelia to find herself naked except for her diaper. And it was the first time she'd noticed that her chest was completely flat, a strange feeling she hadn't felt for several years. Her mother removed the tape from her diaper and lowered the front, before starting to clean Kelia's crotch. It was always an unpleasant situation, but wearing a wet diaper was just as unpleasant, so Kelia let her mother do the work. When she was finally in a clean diaper, her mother went to a drawer from which she pulled out a pair of jean shorts, baby-sized, and a very childish t-shirt, all pink, with a picture of Cinderella on it and sequins. Kelia was amazed at how hard her mother could work to keep her down. She looked like some kind of evil genius. Kelia let her mother dress her, and once she had done so, she was lifted off the changing table again and carried downstairs. Sarah was already putting on her shoes. When Kelia's mother arrived at the door, she set her down on the floor and opened the shoe cabinet, from which she took out her own shoes and a pair of baby sneakers that looked really ridiculous. Her mother put on her shoes, then grabbed one of the two baby shoes and stretched it from the inside. "Give me your foot, sweetheart." "I can do it myself..." "Don't be silly." Kelia wondered how she'd even thought to ask to do it herself. She should have realized by now that the answer was already pre-made. So she stretched out her foot and let her mother put her shoes on. Once everyone was ready to leave, Kelia was once again lifted by her mother, who opened the door and stepped outside, closely followed by Sarah. For Kelia, it was quite impressive to re-discover the street in front of her house, which she had seen hundreds and hundreds of times, from her new perspective. Everything so big, so different, it was almost as if it was another world to her. Kelia was carried to the back door of the car, and once it was open, she was placed in a car seat. She hardly noticed; it was obvious to her that she was entitled to a child seat. Her mother clipped the car seat shut and Kelia was locked inside. She realized that once the car seat was fastened, it would be very difficult for her to get out on her own, given the location of the opening button and how restricted her movements were. Sarah was placed in her car seat too, and their mother took the wheel and drove off. It was a quiet drive, with Kelia keeping herself busy by looking out of the window at the landscapes she no longer recognized. To tell the truth, she was mainly trying to distract her mind, as the idea of going out in public frightened her. Besides, her shorts weren't really very effective at covering her diaper. You could see the plastic protruding from the top of her shorts and you could easily make out the shape of the diaper underneath, which embarrassed Kelia even more. When they finally arrived at the supermarket, Sarah was able to get out of the car, but Kelia was not taken out immediately by her mother. She wondered why, and heard the trunk of the car open. When the door on her side was opened, she understood why. Her mother had bought a stroller and taken it out of the trunk. "Mom, this really isn't necessary... I can walk!" Kelia pleaded, as her mother untied her and lifted her out of the car seat. "Trust me, you don't want to throw a tantrum here." She replied in a rather cold tone. The message was very clear to Kelia: her mother wouldn't hesitate to humiliate her in public if she had to. And that was the one thing Kelia wanted to avoid, whatever the cost. So she decided to take it in her stride and let her mother install her in the stroller and clip on the fastener. As with the car seat, her movements were rather limited. And the tether that passed between her legs and pressed her diaper against her was quite uncomfortable. The 3 of them entered the store and, although Kelia's mother went to buy a few groceries, she quickly headed for the baby section. She bought a bit of everything: milk, diaper packs, baby lotions. Kelia remained completely silent. She wanted to draw as little attention to herself as possible. A lot of people walked by and no one seemed to pay any particular attention to her, but at the moment she felt a little paranoid that everyone knew exactly who she really was. While her mother was still busy checking the shelves for items of all kinds, Kelia's situation suddenly deteriorated. Her bladder was signalling that it was time to go. For Kelia, wetting her diaper in the privacy of her own home was one thing - although it was humiliating enough, but wetting in public was totally different. What if people noticed? What if her diaper leaked? She didn't really know how absorbent those were, and what if her mother decided to change her in the supermarket toilet? She didn't know if she'd do it, but after everything her mother had done so far, she was sure she could. Unfortunately for Kelia, with her bladder's resistance greatly reduced since her regression, holding back was becoming painful rather quickly, and her mother didn't seem to be finished with the shopping. Kelia tried to think of something else to distract her mind, but as she closed her eyes to concentrate, she felt a stream of urine gush from inside her diaper. She tried to stop the flow, but it was already too late, there was nothing she could do. She could feel her diaper swelling and heating up as she soaked. Kelia let out a few tears. When her mother finally returned and realized the state she was in, she crouched down to the stroller. "What's wrong, sweetie?" she asked. Kelia didn't dare answer, just looked away. She prayed her mother would move on, as she didn't want to attract attention. Suddenly, she felt her mother's hand press the front of her diaper through her shorts. "Oh, I know someone who needs a new clean diaper." Kelia had never blushed so much. She was sure her mother had said that loud enough on purpose for those around to hear. "Don't worry, we won't be long." Her mother told her before putting a pacifier in her mouth. It was a different one from the one she'd left in her crib this morning. Kelia didn't know how many pacifiers she had in stock, but apparently she had a supply. It was very difficult for Kelia not to think of the situation she was in: in her stroller, in tears, with her pacifier in her mouth and her diaper soaked. Her mother continued to select a few items before placing them in a bag under the stroller. They quickly exited the store after checking out, but it seemed like hours to Kelia. Even though she knew no one was paying any attention to her, she felt as if all eyes were on her. They returned to the car, Kelia and Sarah were placed in their car seats, and they headed home. On the way, Kelia felt discomfort in her intestines. She wasn't happy about it, but she relented and pushed into her diaper. Anyway, it's not as if she'll be able to go to the bathroom when she gets home. And at least she'd be able to keep a clean diaper at least until after lunch. Sitting made a full diaper even more unpleasant, and she hoped they'd be home soon to get changed. Once back home, Kelia's mother went out first to collect the groceries, then came to let Sarah down and pick up Kelia. Kelia felt her mother's hand press the back of her diaper. She knew it was only to humiliate her, as the smell left no doubt as to the contents of Kelia's diaper. "Someone left Mommy a present in her diaper!" Kelia blushed hard. Did her mother really have to comment on everything she was OBLIGATED to do? Once she was on the changing table, Kelia was almost happy. Not that a diaper change was pleasant, but getting out of her dirty diaper was still a relief. The rest of the day passed as usual. Kelia was fed, changed a few times, and stayed with Sarah in her room most of the time. Kelia took it into her head to be more compliant, hoping that her mother would eventually shorten her punishment. So she tried not to draw attention to herself and to be "good". Once evening came, Kelia slept surprisingly better than usual. In the space of a few days, she'd had time to accept her situation and integrate the fact that this would be her daily routine for some time to come. It didn't take her long to fall asleep. Before she did, she emptied her bladder and wet her diaper. She didn't want to wake up in the middle of the night like the day before. Little did Kelia know that tomorrow would once again put her to the test. --------------------------------- Hey ! Sorry for this chapter being a bit late, i hope you still enjoyed it. As always, let me know what's your thoughts about it !

Thanks That particular poster had only posted once before that day and hasn't visited this site since. There is no sexual content. It's simply a hypothetical story about a kid who doesn't want to be potty trained anymore.

Chapter 6 : Last bribes of pride Kelia's awakening was not pleasant. It took her a few seconds to come back to reality. after opening her eyes. She wasn't quite used to not waking up in bed, wearing perfectly normal underwear, ready to enjoy a new day as an 18-year-old. And as if that weren't unpleasant enough, the sensation of her cold diaper reminded her of what she had done. But the room was still silent and no one came to get her. She had no idea what time it was or how long she'd been asleep. She hesitated for a moment to call her mother to come and get her, but the last thing she wanted was to sound like a little child calling for her mommy. And above all, she dreaded the inevitable moment when her mother would realize that she had wet her diaper. So she lay down on the mattress and waited, staring at the ceiling. She found that a cold diaper was even more uncomfortable than a freshly filled one. She wasn't sure how long she'd been waiting. At this point, she had more or less lost track of time. All she knew was that it was Saturday. Probably mid-afternoon, since she'd been put to bed after lunch. But after a while, the bedroom door finally opened, and her mother entered the room. "Look who's awake already!" She said, with overplayed excitement in her voice. Kelia straightened up and waited for her mother to get her out of the crib. But as her mother leaned over to grab her, Kelia felt her hand examine the front and back of her diaper. Kelia's face turned red as she realized she was having her diaper checked. "Oh, you're wet, sweetie. Let's go change that nasty diaper." Said her mother as she lifted her from the crib and took her in her arms. For a moment, Kelia thought she was going to die of shame. But what could she do? It wasn't as if her mother had let her go to the bathroom; she couldn't hold back indefinitely. She saw her mother heading for the changing table, but it was too much for her. "Mom, please stop, I've learned my lesson! Please stop all this!" "Shhh, don't make a fuss, everything's fine." "No! It's not all right! I'm 18 and I shouldn't be sent to nap or diaper changed by my mother! It's enough!" Kelia's shame was turning to anger. None of this made any sense. She shouldn't be in this situation. When Kelia had finished speaking, her mother stopped. "I don't think you remember how your father and I used to correct you when you misbehaved as a child. I'll remind you." Kelia was ready to assert herself, but when her mother went and sat down on a cushion in the corner of the room and laid her on her lap, she knew at once that she had made a big mistake. Without any warning, her mother inflicted a series of painful spankings. The pain felt unbearable. Unable to contain herself, she began to sob. After a minute or two that seemed interminable, her mother stopped the spanking and straightened Kelia on her lap. "Now, are you going to be a good girl?" Kelia didn't dare say a word, her cheeks covered in tears. "Are you going to be a good girl?" Her mother repeated, insisting on an answer from Kelia. Kelia merely nodded. Her bottom was sore after that, and she no longer had the strength to resist. "Come on, I'll put you in a clean diaper." Said her mother, softening her tone and heading back to the changing table, Kelia still in her arms. When she was placed on the changing table, she was still crying. Humiliation and pain combined to make the moment extremely unpleasant. She saw her mother bend down to grab something from under the changing table, and before she could react, a pacifier was shoved into her mouth. Kelia didn't react; she didn't want to prolong the moment any further. Her mother began to unclip the buttons of Kelia's onesie, the front of which was pulled over her belly, and then undid the tapes of the diaper, and lowered the front of the diaper, exposing Kelia's crotch. It was a very unsettling moment for Kelia. It had been at least a decade since she'd found herself in such a vulnerable position in front of her mother. She felt the baby wipes starting to clean her. Kelia remained motionless throughout the process. She had the feeling that moving a single muscle would make the situation even worse. The wetness and coldness of the wipes was very unpleasant, but she tried to ignore it. After a few minutes that seemed to last an eternity, her mother finished cleaning her and took out a new diaper. Even though Kelia already knew it, she was still disappointed. As her mother lifted the top of the diaper and adjusted it, Kelia realized that she had unconsciously started sucking on her pacifier. She stopped immediately. "All clean!" Her mother exclaimed, in an enthusiastic tone, while redoing the buttons on her onesie. "You can go and play now." Kelia was rested on the floor and her mother adressed her a little smile before leaving the room, leaving the door open. At least her diaper was a bit more comfortable now. Kelia wiped away her tears and took the pacifier out of her mouth, which she simply let fall to the floor. She was somewhat disoriented, having been through so much in just a few minutes. She decided to head for her sister's room. She wasn't comfortable anywhere, but this was where she felt safest, at least. As she left her room and headed for Sarah's, she suddenly felt the same dizziness as earlier in the day. It wasn't as strong as before, but it was enough to worry Kelia. What was going on? She didn't understand. After about ten seconds, the dizziness went away. Kelia decided to ignore it. Whatever happened, there was nothing she could do about it. Kelia lightly pushed open the door to Sarah's room and stepped inside. Sarah, seeing Kelia enter, looked very happy. "Hi! You wanna play now?" Kelia really didn't feel like indulging in childish games with Sarah. But it wasn't as if she had many other options for entertaining herself. "Well.... I don't know, what would you like to play?" Sarah's face lights up. "I've got lots of toys, look!" As she said this, she turned to open her toy chest. Indeed, it was rather well-stocked. Kelia was almost jealous, she'd never had so many toys when she was little. She glanced at Sarah's toy chest. Of course, nothing really appealed to her. These kinds of toys weren't really meant to entertain 18-year-olds. "Um, well, pick what you want." Sarah began to take out several dolls and play with them. Kelia was content to sit and watch her. It was much better for her this way. Besides, it was kind of cute watching her little sister have fun. Well, older sister. But little sister. The time obviously seemed a little long for Kelia, although her sister seemed to be enjoying herself and not seeing the time go by. Suddenly, someone knocked on the door and their mother opened it. "Time for dinner, girls!" Sarah and Kelia got up without wasting any time. Kelia wasn't in a hurry, on the contrary, she understood that from now on meals would be very unpleasant moments, but she doubted she'd be able to tell her mother she wasn't hungry. When Kelia reached the stairs, she froze. That dizzy feeling kept coming back, and this time it was very strong. She began to stagger and almost fell forward, but fortunately Sarah caught her. "Oh, don't worry I'll help you!" Sarah lifted Kelia under her arms and held her firmly as she descended the stairs. Kelia was very embarrassed, but she said nothing. She was forced to admit that, to her dismay, she probably wouldn't have made it down on her own. Kelia didn't know what was wrong with her. Then she remembered what the doctor had said about "cognitive abilities". She sincerely hoped she was wrong and that it was only temporary, but she feared the worst, especially as it didn't seem to be getting any better. Arriving in the dining room, Sarah put Kelia down and their mother walked over to her. "Oh, yes I should have helped you downstairs, excuse me sweetheart." Her mother said, lifting her into her high chair. The worst thing for Kelia had to be how her mother acted and interacted with her like a real baby. However, she had learned her lesson earlier and certainly had no intention of trying to rebel again. Anyway, it's not as if she could do anything with her size. A wonderful aroma filled the room as her mother brought two plates of spaghetti for Sarah and herself. Kelia wasn't kidding herself, she knew she wouldn't be able to touch it, and she began to suspect that her mother was deliberately preparing only appetizing dishes to frustrate her as much as possible. She wasn't surprised when her mother brought out a new baby pot for her. The meal went more or less as it had at lunchtime. Kelia was more obedient, she knew there was nothing else she could do, and she didn't want to risk tempting her mother to correct her again. So she did as she was told. When she finished her pot, Sarah and her mother were eating at the table, and she felt a sudden pressure in her bowels. "No no no... anything but that..." she murmured to herself. The pressure quickly became painful. She was now sure that her ability to restrain her needs had been impaired by her regression. The worst part was that she couldn't do anything, locked in her high chair, she could barely move. There she was, about to fill her diaper, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. Knowing full well that she was only postponing the inevitable, Kelia decided to give up and started pushing. She felt the mess spreading around her diaper. The fact that she was sitting down only made the situation worse; she could feel absolutely everything that was going on in her diaper. When she finished, Kelia couldn't help crying. It was so humiliating. She didn't want to attract her mother's attention, but she couldn't hold back her emotion. Her mother didn't fail to notice that something was wrong when she heard and saw Kelia crying, and it was as if she already knew what had just happened. "Oh, it's all right, sweetheart, it's all right." She said, getting up and walking over to Kelia. She took her out of her high chair and carried her as one would carry a baby. As if it wasn't enough, Kelia felt her mother probe the back of her diaper with her hand. Kelia was carried to her room and then laid on the changing table. "It's all right, I'll get you out of that dirty diapie." Her mother said, in a tone of voice intended to be "reassuring". Of course, she didn't fail to shove the pacifier lying on the floor into Kelia's mouth. It was obvious by this point that if she could make the situation even more humiliating for Kelia, she wouldn't hesitate. The process of that afternoon was repeated, the tapes on Kelia's diaper were removed and the front was lowered, exposing her once again. It was even more unpleasant when her mother lifted her feet in the air to wipe her bottom. Kelia didn't say a word, she just wanted to disappear. She wanted this moment to pass as quickly as possible. When her mother finished cleaning her up, she tossed the diaper into a basket, and taped a fresh new diaper over Kelia. "You must be tired after such a hard day, I think it's bedtime for you." Her mother said as she lifted her up again and headed for the crib. Kelia remained silent, still sobbing around her pacifier in her mother's arms. She was placed in her crib, and her mother caressed her cheek before leaving the room. "Sweet dreams, my angel." What little self-esteem Kelia had left had just been swept away. She truly felt like a helpless little child. Despite the fact that Kelia felt horrible, she found sleep quickly enough. Going through so many emotions was quite exhausting. Eventually, she closed her eyes, lulled by the sound of regular sucking on her pacifier. --------------------------------------- Hi ! So, here's today's chapter, hope you liked it

Chapter 4 : The little sister Kelia spent a terrible night. Firstly, she was grounded - which didn't make much difference in the end, and secondly, she was immediately deprived of her phone. Kelia was used to this kind of punishment, so it didn't bother her in the least; what bothered her most was not being able to listen to music on her phone. However, her mother told her something else that worried her even more. Apparently, she wouldn't limit herself to these two punishments and said she'd take the night off to think about it. And that meant her mother intended to make her mark. Kelia was worried, of course, but deep down she thought it was hard to see how her mother could do any worse than the punishment she was about to endure for a year. Kelia awoke at around 9 a.m. to the sound of her bedroom door opening. Her mother appeared in the doorframe. "We'll have to talk." Her mother's tone was serious, and Kelia's anxiety went up a notch. Kelia straightened up and sat down on her bed, but her mother remained in front of her, arms crossed. "You see that punishment I told you about? Your regression that was supposed to start this afternoon and last a year." Kelia nodded tiredly and rather questioningly, wondering why her mother was bringing the subject up again, when she'd made it clear she was determined. "Well, actually I had no intention of applying it. I just wanted to scare you. Besides, I had to call the doctor this morning to cancel our appointment for this afternoon." Kelia smiled suddenly. "Really?! Mom, thank..." Kelia couldn't finish her sentence when her mother interrupted. "Nevertheless, what you did yesterday got me thinking. I realized I wasn't hard enough on you. Don't worry, I don't blame you, it's my fault, I should have tightened the screw sooner." resumed her mother, with a cynical tone. Kelia's face decomposed as her mother continued. She didn't want to hear the rest. She was afraid of what she was going to say next. She knew what she was going to say next. "Therefore I've decided not to cancel this afternoon's appointment." Without saying another word, her mother left her room, taking the time to close the door behind her. Kelia was destroyed. The worst part wasn't that her punishment would stand, the worst part was that if she'd decided to remain reasonable last night, there would have been no punishment. And on top of that, her mother had given her a few moments of hope before dashing them. Kelia sat on her bed for a good ten minutes. Time to digest what she had just heard. Kelia sighed. "I guess I'll be the little sister..." she murmured to herself. Kelia didn't come down from her room for breakfast or lunch. She told her mother she wasn't hungry. She knew her mother wouldn't let her nibble later, that was how she functioned when Kelia didn't want to come and eat, but she didn't care. She needed peace and solitude to enjoy her last hours of "adult" life before a long time. She spent all her time drawing, or even doing nothing, just staring at the ceiling on her bed. She alternated between the two. However, she couldn't take her eyes off her alarm clock, which displayed the time. It was torture for her. Time seemed to pass terribly slowly. It was as if the universe wanted to make her think as much as possible before her mother's irrevocable sentence, 4 p.m., the time of the appointment. Kelia decided to take a nap to switch off her brain and stop thinking about everything until the appointment. Surprisingly, she fell asleep quite quickly. --------------------------------------------- She awoke almost with a start when her mother opened the bedroom door. "Wake up, it's time to go." She said in a very neutral tone. Kelia was in automatic mode. She got up, went downstairs, put on her shoes, and waited for her mother to leave. She arrived a few moments later, ready to go. She opened the door, and the two headed for the car. At least, Kelia thought, Sarah wasn't there this time. But she didn't dare imagine how embarrassed she will be when she'll to face her mother and sister with her "new body". The car set off. Kelia felt very empty. She was very detached from the situation, as if, in the end, it was all a dream and didn't matter, that she was going to wake up any minute. "Once they've finished their work, the doctors will keep you overnight for observation and we'll come and collect you the next morning with Sarah. Apparently you'll be asleep through the whole process and into the next day." Her mother told her, matter-of-factly. "So I'll be anesthetized?" Kelia asked. It was a new detail that wasn't reassuring; she'd never been under general anaesthetic and, even though she knew it wasn't what she should be most worried about, it didn't help her relax. "Yes, the doctor told me on the phone that the process can be relatively painful for an awake person, so he prefers to anesthetize." Her mother replied. Kelia assimilated the information, then contented herself with remaining silent for the rest of the journey. There wasn't much to say. At this point, she knew that trying to convince her mother would be a waste of energy. When they arrived at the hospital, they didn't have long to wait, as the doctor came to collect them almost immediately. Obviously, Kelia wasn't too happy about this. The doctor led them to a seemingly ordinary hospital room. But it was quite large, and there were some imposing machines that Kelia didn't know what they were for. The doctor gave Kelia a hospital gown, and she was allowed some privacy to change. "So, Kelia..." began the doctor. "I don't know if your mother told you, but you'll have to be under general anesthetic for the whole process, and you shouldn't wake up until the next morning." Kelia simply nodded. She was resigned. "A nurse will be in to look after you shortly and prepare you for the anaesthetic." The doctor left the room and Kelia and her mother were left alone inside. Their eyes met a few times, but they didn't exchange a word. After 5, or maybe 10 minutes, a nurse entered the room and greeted Kelia and her mother. She was very gentle and kind with Kelia. She placed a whole range of equipment on her body, including a drip. After that, she grabbed some kind of oxygen mask and brought it up to Kelia's face. "I'm going to ask you to breathe deeply and calmly, is that okay?" the nurse asked. Kelia nodded. She couldn't really say it wasn't okay at all. She couldn't really say that she just wanted to rip off her drip, her hospital gown and go home. Kelia was pretty anxious, she didn't know what to expect from the anaesthetic. The nurse placed the mask over her face, and as Kelia took a deep breath, her eyelids grew heavy, her vision blurred, and she fell into a deep sleep. ----------------------------------------- Hope you enjoyed this chapter The next one MAY eventually be out today, but if it's not today it will be tomorrow for sure

Chapter 3 : Consequences Kelia climbed into the front of the car while her mother helped Sarah into her car seat. What immediately caught Kelia's attention was that there were two child seats in the back. Kelia didn't even want to think about what this implied. The car started and off they went. "So... what exactly is this appointment for?" Kelia asked, a little worried. "Well, the doctor, Doctor Desmond if I remember correctly, is going to explain the process you'll be going through and all its implications for the coming year. He told me that after this appointment, we'll be able to come back very quickly for... "the operation". Maybe even in the next few days, if we're lucky." "You still haven't changed your mind... have you?" Kelia asked, holding out little hope of a positive response. "We've already talked about this Kelia." Her mother replied firmly. Even though Kelia knew the answer in advance, she was still disappointed. She simply slumped back in her seat and waited for the ride to pass, feeling a little sick to her stomach. "Mom, why does Kelia need surgery? Is she sick?" Sarah asked from the back seat. "Oh, no honey, it's not that kind of operation. You see, your big sister has been acting like a baby for the last few months, and when someone acts like a baby, they're treated like a baby, so the doctor is going to use a super machine to turn your sister back into a baby for the space of a year, to get her to stop acting like one." Her mother replied. Kelia hated the way her mother explained it to her sister as something quite trivial. "Does this mean I'm getting a little sister?!" Sarah exclaimed excitedly. "No, that..." Kelia started to speak to contradict her little sister, but her mother immediately interrupted her. "Yes Sarah, that's exactly it!" Said her mother enthusiastically. Kelia was very upset. She was 18, she loved her little sister very much, but if she thought she would become the big sister she was wrong, Kelia refused to be "the little sister" when her sister was only 6. For the rest of the journey, Sarah and her mother chatted a little, but Kelia remained entirely silent. When they finally arrived at the hospital, they entered without wasting any time and presented themselves at the reception desk. "Hello..." began her mother, addressing the man behind the counter, "We have an appointment in 15 minutes with the doctor... Desmond?" "Yes!" The man replied immediately. "Please be patient on the seats, the doctor will come to collect you in a few moments." Kelia, Sarah and their mother took their seats and waited. It didn't take long for the doctor to arrive. Kelia's mother stared at him a little before recognizing the doctor waving to them and the name on his badge. They all stood up and, after greeting the doctor, followed him to a room at the end of a corridor. The doctor held the door open and motioned for them to take their seats. "So... this is for Kelia is it?" began the doctor, sitting down at his desk. "Yes it is." replied her mother. The doctor turned to Kelia, whom he recognized as the older of the two sisters. "Have you understood what this is all about?" "Not really..." Kelia replied, somewhat apprehensive about the doctor's explanations. "Well, the process you're about to undergo basically consists of shrinking a person's body, or rather 'reversing its growth' if you prefer. This process takes place overnight and lasts for about a year, after which your body will start growing again, but at a much faster rate, so you should be back to your normal size within a few months." explained the doctor. Kelia listened attentively. She wanted to know exactly what to expect, as what she'd learned from her mother had been rather confusing until now. "Apart from your height adjusting to the size of a child of about one or two years, there may be some side effects due to the rather sudden shrinkage of your body, particularly with regard to cognitive abilities." Kelia didn't like what she was hearing at all. Side effects? Cognitive abilities? That didn't sound good at all. "These effects are quite random and vary greatly from patient to patient, some simply have loss of balance, others memory lapses or speech difficulties, some have all these effects at once and others none at all. You won't be able to know until after the process." the doctor concluded. What the doctor had just explained seemed less serious than Kelia had initially imagined when he mentioned side effects, but it certainly wouldn't be a cakewalk. She still found it hard to imagine that what she'd just heard would actually happen. Her brain simply couldn't accept the fact that it was possible. "It's perfect doctor!" Kelia's mother exclaimed. She seemed very enthusiastic about the idea, almost too much so; her enthusiasm seemed almost overplayed. Sarah, meanwhile, remained silent throughout, no doubt somewhat intimidated by the doctor. "If everything's good with you, can I give you an appointment as early as tomorrow afternoon, 4pm? One of our patients canceled so his slot became available." "That's perfect, 4pm tomorrow, oh and here's the signed paper you asked me for." Kelia's mother took the paper she'd made her sign out of her handbag and handed it to the doctor, who took it and thanked her. ------------------------------------------ THE EVENING ------------------------------------------ Returning home was embarrassing for Kelia. Sarah didn't hesitate to ask her mother lots of questions about what all this meant, and she didn't hesitate to say how excited she was at the idea of having a "little sister". She hoped Sarah would stop being too curious once they got home, but even during dinner, she didn't stop talking about it. And her mother, too, responded with great enthusiasm, as if it were all wonderful news. After she'd finished eating, Kelia retreated to her room as quickly as possible. She just wanted to stop thinking about it. She told herself that maybe, if she stopped thinking about it, she'd wake up tomorrow and all this would never have happened and nobody would ever talk about it again. While Kelia was busy drawing to distract herself, her phone began to vibrate on her desk. Jenny's name appeared on the screen. Jenny was one of the few friends Kelia had made during her school years. They were quite close and similar in some ways, although Jenny, whom Kelia called "Jen", was more of a "punk" than Kelia. She was the type to disobey her parents, make fun of her teachers, and sneak out at night to drink and smoke with friends, sometimes not just cigarettes. Kelia took the call. "Hello?" She said. "Hey Kel! What's up?" Jenny replied, sounding excited. Kelia knew that when Jenny took that tone, she was about to propose something forbidden. "Hi Jen, I'm fine, how about you?" Kelia considered for a moment telling her about what was going on with her mother, but she wouldn't even know how to explain it, so she refrained. "I'm fine, say, I'm sneaking out tonight, you want to join me? It'll be fun!" "Jen, you know my mom won't let me go out, you know her, if I don't give her a week's notice it's dead. Especially for going out at night." "Come on! Just do what I do! Sneak out of your house and join me, climb out a window if you have to, you'll be home before your mother even has a chance to notice you're out!" Jenny insisted. "My mom will really kick my ass if she notices... plus it's already... complicated right now." "Come on, how long has it been since we've had a chance to see just the two of us? And the times you've used the excuse of babysitting your sister while your mom was away don't count!" Kelia thought for a moment. It was a difficult dilemma. On the one hand, she felt like saying "Fuck it, I'm 18 and I want to see my friend", but on the other, she knew she was risking a lot if her mother found out. Kelia took a moment to think. "Okay, i'm coming." she replied. "Cool!" Jenny exclaimed. "I'll be waiting for you at our special place." Jenny hung up. Kelia knew exactly what she meant by "our special place". It was a place they'd found about a year ago, near a park on the edge of a stream, it was a quiet place where no one was ever around. It was great for stargazing and having deep conversations with friends. Kelia knew she couldn't go through the front door. She'd make too much noise and be spotted by her mother, nor through her bedroom window, since her bedroom was upstairs. However, she knew there was a back door to the house, which they never used. She didn't know if it was locked, but it was worth a try. Trying to make as little noise as possible, she slipped out of her room. She descended the stairs as quietly as possible, which wasn't easy as the stairs kept creaking. At least she knew that if her mother found her standing there, she could still pretend to go to the bathroom. When she finally reached the back door, she turned the handle to check if it was open and, to her great relief, it was. Kelia hastily slipped on her shoes, and silently closed the door behind her. The place where she was to meet Jenny wasn't far - it was only a 5-minute walk - so it didn't take her long to get there. When she finally met Jenny, Kelia felt a kind of relief. As if she were in no danger. Of course she wasn't, but she felt safe with her. The two girls greeted each other with an embrace and sat down in the grass by the stream. They chatted for a long time about everything and anything, Jenny telling her how much school pissed her off, and Kelia telling her that she still hadn't found a job. Taking out a cigarette, Jenny offered one to Kelia. "You know my mom will kill me if she smells tobacco on my clothes or in my room..." she replied. "With just one, she won't even notice, don't worry." Kelia was about to refuse again, but a thought crossed her mind. If she was going to be punished and treated like a baby for a year, then she was going to enjoy her adult life as much as possible before then. She grabbed the cigarette Jenny held out to her and let her light it. She coughed a little as she took her first drag, clearly not used to cigarettes. Jenny let out a little laugh and Kelia laughed in response. She was happy to be able, for once, just to have a good time with her friend, totally free, like a real adult. Kelia returned home about 1 hour later. She wasn't too worried, thinking that in such a short time, her mother wouldn't have noticed her absence. She did her best to remove her shoes quickly and quietly, closing the back door, and slowly climbed the stairs. No sign of her mother, she was relieved. As she arrived in front of her room and opened the door, she froze for a moment in the doorway, and quickly lost the small smile of satisfaction she had been wearing. "We're going to have a little chat, young lady." Said her mother, sitting on her bed, arms crossed, face impassive. ---------------------------------------- Hi there ! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. As always you can tell me what you think about it The next chapter will probably be much shorter because i already knew exactly where i wanted the chapter 4 to stop, but it gives me a head start on chapter 5, which should be out very soon after chapter 4 to compensate!

First of all, all the best for 2024 and thanks for reading that story. without further ado, time for chapter 3. Chapter 3: Whispers in the Machina The Machina Facultas called to me, its existence a symbol of engineering excellence—a sanctuary of innovation where minds like mine aspired to shape the future. Approaching it, I experienced the awakening of a long-cherished dream, a vision of contributing to this towering world. With each step I took toward it, I felt the stirrings of a dream that had long been nurtured within the confines of my imagination, one where I could leave my mark upon this grand world that towered over me. The structure loomed ahead, a monolith of glass and steel reaching skyward as if to grasp the very essence of innovation from the heavens themselves. My fingers grazed the sleek surface of the entrance door, and as it whooshed open, a wave of awe washed over me. Inside, wonders awaited at every turn. Engines that defied gravity floated in suspended animation, and machines that could weave fabric from light itself blinked rhythmically in a hypnotic dance. Here, there were no demerits, no looming threat of adoption—only pure potential. My eyes settled on an exhibit featuring a magdrive from one of the legendary skyboats. The magdrive’s intricate design was both elegant and formidable; its sleek lines spoke of power contained with precision. My mind raced with possibilities as I imagined crafting something worthy to stand among these marvels. "Wouldn't it be something?" I whispered to myself, my voice nearly lost amid the hums and whirs that filled the hall. My fingers twitched with an urge to dismantle and rebuild—to understand each cog and circuit that allowed these masterpieces to redefine reality. My Magnus opus... what form would it take? A machine that could bridge dimensions? Or perhaps one that could elevate Littles beyond their assigned fate? I envisioned myself unveiling a creation so groundbreaking that even Bigs would look upon it—and me—with respect rather than condescension. The dream took hold with such ferocity that for a moment, I forgot my surroundings; I was an engineer first and foremost, not just a Little in a world ruled by giants. Around me, visitors moved like shadows as they admired the exhibits. Their faces reflected the same wonder that sparked within me—a shared reverence for human ingenuity. My heart swelled with determination. One day, they would come here to see what Bixente Echavoyen had wrought—a marvel not just for Amazonia but for all dimensions. The Machina Facultas would house my legacy. And as I exited those hallowed halls with sketches and ideas burning bright in my mind, I clung to that vision with unwavering resolve. * * * I paced through the campus, my mind still whirring from the technological marvels I'd witnessed at the Machina Facultas. Each invention seemed to whisper a promise of endless possibilities, stirring a sense of pride within me. For a fleeting moment, I felt like I belonged to this grand, alien world. As I meandered toward the park, lost in dreams of crafting my own mechanical masterpiece, a sudden clenching in my gut yanked me back to a less inspiring reality. My face flushed with heat as the familiar dread of urgency gnawed at my insides. "Fuck! Not now," I muttered under my breath, each step more frantic than the last. Memories of embarrassing moments from my past clawed their way into my thoughts, taunting me. I had thought those days were behind me, but here I was, in a foreign land that already insisted on treating me like a child, and my body seemed determined to betray me at the worst possible time. I scanned the surroundings for any sign of a restroom. The landscape was picturesque, with lush greenery and benches inviting contemplation, but none of that mattered now. My stride turned into a half-run, half-waddle as I clutched at my abdomen, willing myself to hold on just a little longer. The serene beauty of the campus lake came into view—its tranquil waters mocking my desperation. Couples lounged on its banks, and students laughed nearby. My heart raced; the threat of humiliation hovered over me like a dark cloud. "I need to find a bathroom," I whispered fiercely to myself. With every step, the panic swelled, turning each breath ragged and sharp. The fear of what might happen if I didn't make it gnawed at my resolve, but I pushed forward. I bolted, my legs pumping as I made a beeline for the restroom earmarked for Littles. Every second counted, every footfall heavy with dread. I reached the door, my hands already fumbling for the handle before I even arrived. I shoved hard, but it was like slamming into a wall—the door wouldn't give. Locked. A strangled "Why?!" escaped my lips, barely louder than a breath. My body was on fire with betrayal, a twisted cramp tightening its grip as if to mock me. My eyes stung, whether from sweat or something else, I couldn't tell. I scanned the area, frantic for any other sign of sanctuary. The place teemed with people—Bigs and Mids alike—each step they took seemed leisurely and purposeful. None of them had the slightest clue about the tempest brewing inside me. I wiped my forehead, smearing away the beads of sweat that had gathered there like uninvited guests. My mind raced as fast as my heart, which thudded against my ribcage like it wanted out. There had to be another bathroom nearby—one that wasn't under some absurd lock and key regime. Panic clawed at my throat, and I felt small and vulnerable—a feeling I despised with every fiber of my being. I thought of Eric and how he'd snicker if he could see me now; it spurred me on. I couldn't let this world see me as anything less than capable. Not now. I turned on my heel, setting off again, each step laced with desperation. "Keep it together," I muttered to myself. "Just gotta find another place." My voice was a whisper lost in the cacophony of university life unfolding around me, blissfully unaware of my plight. I could feel it—the inevitable. My gut gave up, and I felt the unmistakable sensation of my poop running, invading my underwear before dripping on the ground. The humiliation was overwhelming, and I wanted to sink into the earth and disappear. My face burned with shame as I clutched at my abdomen, trying to stem the flow. But it was too late; the damage had been done. Panic set in as I realized that everyone around me would surely notice what was happening. The laughter of students nearby seemed to mock me, and I felt small and exposed in this alien world where I was already treated like a child. I tried to walk faster, hoping that if I could just get away from everyone, maybe they wouldn't see what was happening. But it was no use; the smell was already starting to waft through the air, a pungent reminder of my predicament. My heart raced as I scanned the area for any sign of sanctuary—a secluded corner or an empty building where I could hide until this nightmare passed. But there was nothing—just people everywhere, going about their business as if nothing were wrong. * * * I felt a sudden tug on my sleeve, and I turned to see two towering girls smirking at me. Their laughter was cruel, and I could feel the eyes of everyone around us on me. "Look who needs a diaper !" one of them sneered, her voice dripping with sarcasm. I blushed furiously, my heart pounding in my chest. I knew I should have gone to the bathroom when I had the chance, but now it was too late. The smell was unmistakable, and it seemed to be drawing even more attention to me. "You're such a little baby," the other girl said, her voice mocking. "Maybe you should just put on a diaper and be done with it mr Poopypants." They both laughed again, and I felt my face burn even hotter. I tried to back away, but they grabbed my arms tightly, holding me in place. "Unless you want the dean to hear about this," one of them said menacingly, "you'd better do as we say." The threat was clear - if I didn't comply, they would report me for soiling myself and getting spanked by the dean. And worse yet, they would demand that I be demoted and adopted by them as their personal little boy. The thought made me shudder with fear. My knees felt like they might buckle under the weight of their taunts. Just as I braced myself for another wave of humiliation, a voice sliced through the cacophony of jeers. "Leave him alone." He materialized from the throng of students like a sudden shadow, tall and lean, with eyes sharp enough to cut through steel. Aiden Ricoh, I'd later learn his name. His smile was a blade—sharp and deceptive. He stood there, exuding an air of authority that seemed to momentarily stagger the Bigs. The girls' laughter sputtered into silence, their smirks faltering. "And who are you? His knight in shining armor?" one of them mocked, her voice oozing disdain. Aiden's grin didn't waver. "No armor here. Just a guy who doesn't enjoy watching two people pick on someone half their size." They sized him up, eyes narrowing. I could see the gears turning in their heads as they decided whether he was worth the challenge. But something about Aiden's stance—confident, almost defiant—made them pause. "We don't need this," the other girl said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "But watch your back, little boy," she sneered at me. "You can't hide behind someone forever." Her words slithered into my ears, leaving a trail of cold dread down my spine. The threat was clear; my reprieve was temporary. As they sauntered away, Aiden turned to me with a look that wasn't quite a smile nor a frown—it was calculating. "You alright?" I nodded, trying to regain some semblance of composure despite feeling anything but alright. "Thanks," I mumbled, my voice barely above a whisper. "Don't mention it," he replied casually. "But be careful who you trust around here." His eyes scanned the area as if expecting trouble at every corner. I swallowed hard, trying to dispel the unease his words stirred within me. "I don't even know you," I pointed out, more to remind myself that he was a stranger than anything else. "You will," Aiden said cryptically.

Chapter 11 – Helping Hands Mrs. Jacobs looked at her new charge, sitting at one of the low tables, contemplating his pacifier, with tears running down his cheeks. Her heart swelled with maternal concern for him; she’d known Oli since he was a toddler, and she could see that he was very upset about his current predicament. “Oli,” she said gently, “do you need your pacifier?” Oliver nodded without lifting his eyes from the table in front of him. He didn’t mean to nod, it just kind of happened. He felt a pressure cooker of emotions welling up inside him, and he knew that in moments, the room was going to begin filling with excited preschoolers and early grade kids, eager to share stories of their Christmas presents, have snacks, and sing seasonal songs together. Plus one or more older helpers, a task which Oliver had performed himself many times. “Go ahead, Oliver – use your paci,” the kindly lady said. Oliver reached for it with a shaking hand, retrieving it from the plate, and placed it in his mouth. “Now,” she continued, “I’m pretty sure that at least some of what you’re upset about is the kids coming in here and seeing you while you’re… still getting control of your emotions. Is that right?” “Yeth,” Oli said around the soother. “And also, you’re concerned about being in that skirt, I’d imagine. I have an idea… do you maybe want to have a lie down in the nap room for a little while, rather than sitting out here where everyone will be coming and going?” Oliver remembered back to when he had been a regular attendant of the Sunday school, and the throng of parents and kids milling about as jackets were hung up and shoes were taken off, hats and mittens secured and noses wiped. He knew that chaotic influx was moments away. Solemnly, he nodded. Mrs. Jacobs walked over and took him by the hand, leading up past the washroom doors and into the nap room. Looking around, the room appeared more or less as he remembered it. There were mats on the floor, although now they were in bright colours, whereas when he was smaller, he thought they had all been blue. The windows were covered in blackout curtains, and unlike in the main area, which was lit by bright fluorescents, in this room, the ceiling lights were off, and there were lamps on tables that emitted a low, warm light, and which could be turned on and off from a main switch by the door. He swallowed, concerned about lying down on one of the mats, in plain view in the middle of the floor, but Mrs. Jacobs led him down a path between them. He looked up, and realized they were headed towards two enormous metal cribs that lined the wall under the cloaked windows. Covered in flaking white paint, they looked like they’d been scavenged from some long-closed 1950’s paediatric ward. Oliver had never been in one of the cribs himself, but he remembered that they were used to sleep the very young parishioners’ children, little ones too small to be relied upon to stay planted on their mat for nap time. Each crib could sleep a few tots, laid down crosswise. He looked up at Mrs. Jacobs as they approached the crib on the right. She let go of his hand, and reached down to the underside of the crib, which had a high clearance underneath it, almost big enough to slide a standard-height bed under. She struggled under the crib with something, eventually pulling a lever that was recessed, and with a clang and several creaks, the railing of the crib dropped on slides until it was in contact with the floor, bringing it a couple of feet below the level of the head and footboards, and the rear railing. Mrs. Jacobs reached under the adjacent crib and pulled out a grey metal step stool, sliding it in front of the opened crib, before placing a hand on her back, and wincing. “I’m not built to operate these things anymore – it’s hard for me to bend over like that!” She rubbed her back and smiled at Oliver. “Before you lie down, Oli, we should take of your skirt – it might get wrinkled if you sleep in it,” she said, as she crouched, lifted the hem of his sweater, and slid a finger around the inside of his waistband. She found the outside edge of the Velcro fastening panels, noted where they were, and then dropped to her knee with an intake of breath, and quickly opened the oversized safety pin along the lower pleats of the skirt, leaving it fastened on one side after delicately sliding it free of the other. Finally, she took the edge of the kilt and pulled back on it. The Velcro emitted a tearing noise, and then the bolt of tartan fabric fell free, and she expertly unwrapped Oliver without letting it touch the floor. Oli’s cheeks burned as he felt the coolness of the basement air against his nylon-clad legs, and the comparative warmth of his compressed plastic pants and diaper. Mrs. Jacobs folded the kilt and laid it over the footboard of the opened crib, before reaching down for the lower edges of Oliver’s sweater. Wordlessly, she lifted the garment, waiting for Oliver to raise his arms, which, slowly, he did. The sweater came off with a crackle of static electricity through his hair, and then he was standing in the nap room on the lower floor of the church, wearing white tights over a pair of light blue gingham plastic pants, which looked even lighter under the white nylon. Mrs. Jacobs tugged his tights up over the top of his plastic pants, until they enveloped a good part of his belly and his lower back. She placed a hand on his bottom and directed him onto the stool, which he climbed robotically, pacifier bobbing in the middle of his red face. Oliver stepped gingerly over the metal crib railing, which flared outward at the top in an industrial attempt at softening its appearance, reaching over to the headboard as he pulled himself up, leaving him standing on the mattress, which emitted a plasticky crinkle and sank only the smallest amount under his feet. He turned and stood standing with his hands at his side, as Mrs. Jacobs lifted the crib railing with some apparent effort, until it engaged in its upward position with a pronounced, metallic click. Tears trembled at the edges of Oliver’s eyes. Mrs. Jacobs smiled warmly, and wiped them away with her thumb, left to right. “Don’t fret, little one, I’m going to drape a blanket over the railing, so nobody coming in here will even know you’re there.” She kissed him on the forehead and said “Lie down, cutie.” Oliver put his hands on the railing to steady himself, and sunk to his knees on the firm, plastic-covered mattress, before folding over onto his side, and putting his head on a thin pillow, which also issued a crinkle from under its thin cotton cover. The elderly lady returned a moment later, and draped a white comforter over the crib railing so that it completely obscured his view through the bars, into the nap room. Then, she laid a pink and yellow quilt overtop of him, letting it fall over his shoulders, because she could not reach far enough over the railing to tuck him in. Oliver rolled onto his back and pulled the quilt up to his chin, as he heard her footsteps recede across the room. She flicked the lights off, and now, it felt like he was at the bottom of a well, looking up along the square metal bars, to the darkened ceiling. He listened for the door to click shut behind her, but it didn’t, allowing him to overhear the murmurs and excited squeaks from the other room as kids started entering the Sunday school. Oliver cringed every time he heard footsteps enter the room he was in, but eventually concluded that he was, indeed, effectively hidden in his crib cave. Kids put belongings down next to their mats and left the room, navigating by the light coming in through the door. Oliver took a sharp breath in when, once, the overhead fixtures went on, flooding the room with stark white light, but then he heard Mrs. Jacobs say “Turn the lights off, Ana, I have a baby sleeping in here,” and then the lights went off again. After a while, the activity seemed to move away from the room he was in, and far off into the other room, and Oliver was able to relax a bit. He sucked on his paci for a while, and then felt stupid, and decided he was tired of having it in his mouth, so he took it out and put it beside him on the mattress. He acknowledged a twinge from his bladder by relieving himself in his diaper, feeling the moist warmth fan out behind him. Eventually, he found his mind drifting, as the sounds of children singing carols floated in from the other room, and his eyes got heavy. _________ Oliver awoke with a start, not sure for a moment where he was… some kind of cage?!? Then it came back to him. A crib. In the church nursery school. He’d been awakened by the lights coming on again, not the bright overhead ones, but rather, the table lamps. He heard footsteps in the room and held his breath, listening. They weren’t the heavy, soft footfalls of Mrs. Jacobs. They were lighter, and had a scraping whisper to them. Some kid. He assumed that they would go away shortly, but then he heard them drawing closer to his crib. Suddenly, there was a voice, almost directly in front of him, from behind the blanket draped over the crib railing. “Mrs. Jacobs! The baby dropped her soother! I’ll put it back in the crib!” Oliver’s eyes went wide, and he did a quick sweep beside him with his arm. The pacifier was gone. He’d knocked it through the bars of the crib while he was sleeping. Fuck. “No, Anastasia, it’s fine, leave the baby…” he heard Mrs. Jacobs say from outside of the room, but it was too late. With a woosh, the blanket covering the side of the crib fell to the floor, and in front of Oliver’s wide eyes appeared a girl of about eight or nine, with long red hair, wearing a white Sunday dress. In her right hand, she held Oliver’s purple pacifier. “OH!” she exclaimed, and took a step back. “It’s a boy! I thought you were a baby!” Mrs. Jacobs fast-walked into the room, coming up quickly behind her. She had a slightly embarrassed smile on her face as she put a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Oli, I’m sorry about this. I see you’ve met Anastasia. Ana is one of my helpers – she comes down to assist me with getting the smaller kids up to the alter for their blessing. Ana, this is Oliver. He used to be one of my helpers, too. He’s not feeling well today, so his mommy brought him here to lie down.” Anastasia, looking confused, held out the pacifier again. “Is this yours?” Mrs. Jacobs took it from her extended hand, and dropped it into one of her pockets. “Well, since you’re here, you might as well help me get Oliver out of the crib – we’re going to be running late for our part in the service if we don’t hurry.” Oliver’s eyes went wide and he sat partway up, propped on one elbow, while being careful to keep the quilt over himself. “Mrs. Jacobs – I don’t need help! I can get dressed!” “No, Oliver, you can’t help me open up the crib from inside it, I’m afraid. Ana, can you reach under the railing for me? There is a metal lever down there. You’ll have to give it a good push.” Anastasia knelt down, her knee-length dress covering her white leather shoes. She reached beneath the crib and saw a grey, metal rod that extended down at an angle, so she grabbed hold of it. It took her a couple of tries to figure out that it had to be pushed upward to disengage the latch, which moved with a heavy, gritty action. Mrs. Jacobs put a hand on the crib railing so that it wouldn’t drop onto her extended arm, although its motion was slowed, in any case, by an evident need for lubrication. The crib rail descended with a few creaks, and then Mrs. Jacobs extended a hand into the crib. “Come, Oli, I’ll help you get out.” Oliver remained frozen in position on his side, propped partway up on his elbow. His mouth opened and closed, but no sounds came out. Wordlessly, Mrs. Jacobs reached in and extracted the quilt he was under with a sharp tug that he was not ready for and did not have time to resist. Oliver emitted a strained whine and curled in on himself, turning his face into the pillow below him. Anastasia took in the image of a boy who seemed to be around her age, wearing tights that were the same as hers, cradling himself in a crib. She could see that he was wearing blue underwear under the tights… quite puffy underwear. Right then, she detected a twinge of baby powder on the air around him, with a very slight urea undertone that an adult nose, with its time-blunted capabilities, probably would not have noted. He's wearing diapers. Stepping forward, she placed a hand on Oliver’s shoulder. “Shush, it’s okay, little guy, I’m a helper here,” she said in a soft voice. She turned her head and looked up at Mrs. Jacobs. “Is he sick, Mrs. Jacobs?” Mrs. Jacobs nodded. “Yes, Ana, he hasn’t been feeling well for a while. Here,” she said, reaching into her pocket. “This might help. Give him his soother.” “His name is Oli?” the girl asked, with wide eyes. “Yes.” “Oli,” she whispered, “do you want your soother? You can have it. Here…” she leaned into the crib and slowly and carefully touched the clear silicone nipple to the side of his cheek. Oliver turned his face just slightly towards the pacifier, with lips that where pinched closed as tightly as his eyes. Ana angled the nipple in against his closed mouth. In that moment, something inside Oliver snapped, his head turned, his lips quivered, and he parted them slightly, accepting the pacifier. His eyes opened, spilling tears onto his cheeks, and slowly, he unravelled himself, standing up in the crib, with his hands at his side. Silent sobs shook his frame as both Mrs. Jacobs, and Anastasia each took one of his hands and helped him step down out of the crib. At the entrance from the hall, in the doorway, were a few pairs of eyes, low to the ground, taking in the confusing scene unfolding at the other end of the nap room.

My name reverberated across the space, a signal slicing through the haze of expectation. A mix of excitement and anxiety churned within me, eating away at my core. This was the turning point, where the future rested on a clear call to action. Rising from the bench, I stood upright, ignoring the shake in my legs. "Bixente Echavoyen," I muttered to myself, a quiet incantation to calm my pounding pulse. Approaching the interview chamber, I mentally practiced each piece of information I had packed into my head. The door hinges moaned as I swung it open, unveiling an office permeated with the scent of fresh paper and gleaming timber. A representative from Emerson sat across a desk that resembled a barricade, occupying the room with an aura of authority yet tranquility—a true Titan in my view. The precision of his attire indicated extreme attention to detail, while his light but penetrating stare seemed to see right through me. Summoning all my courage, I locked eyes with him. "Bixente Echavoyen," I declared, my tone disguising the inner turmoil. He gave a single nod, a gesture that prepared the ground for what lay ahead. "Take a seat, Bixente," he said, his voice smooth with an undercurrent that this was more than mere routine. I took my place in the chair across from him, reminiscent of slipping into a pilot's seat—a familiar sense of command mixed with the weight of duty. The chair's leather groaned, a sonic indicator that every action here was consequential. "Now," he started, clasping his hands atop the desk as though presenting an unseen chart between us. "Explain why you aspire to be part of our community at Emerson University." My throat felt parched; the critical moment was upon us. Yet, as I peered into his eyes—eyes that had probably witnessed numerous aspirants—I discovered a spark of determination. "I seek more than mere education," I asserted. "My aim is to forge connections—among realms, concepts... individuals." His face remained inscrutable, yet a subtle glimmer of either intrigue or challenge appeared. It kindled something deep within me. I edged forward a bit, hands resting on my legs. "And Emerson," I added with increased passion, "is the birthplace of such connections." We sat in a brief silence before he acknowledged once more with a nod. "Very well," he stated, reaching for a dossier on his desk. "Let's commence." He slid out a pile of documents, fingertips skimming the margins akin to a musician preparing for a performance. The space seemed to contract as he flipped through my scholastic history, every turn of the page marking time, each moment resonating with the beats of my pulse. Thoughts rushed to every assessment, each exhaustive night poring over texts in the weak light of my desk lamp. Had I overlooked something? Was there a minor detail that could dismantle everything? His gaze lifted from the papers, locking with mine. "Your academic performance is impressive, Bixente," he stated, with a note of astonishment in his voice that I might have conjured. "Yet, how do you fare with practical tasks? Book smarts are one aspect, direct involvement is quite another." I sat up straight, prepared to demonstrate my capabilities beyond the written record. "I've dedicated innumerable hours in the workshop," I declared confidently. "Experimenting, crafting, repairing ever since I was able to wield a tool. To me, mechanics isn't merely theoretical; it's ingrained in my very being." He arched an eyebrow, remaining silent as he reviewed the papers once again. It was a minor triumph, yet I held onto it tightly. Next was the power of attorney form, the symbol of my autonomy in this immense new realm. His penetrating scrutiny persisted as he examined every word of the form. I sensed I was being intensely observed, each inhale and exhale measured for its consistency and depth. "Do you grasp the significance of this form?" he inquired, eyes still on the document. "Undoubtedly," I answered, imbuing my tone with assurance that masked my apprehension. "It signifies my transition, my pledge to this path." At last, he placed the documents aside and offered another nod—his action signaling affirmation. My shoulders dropped a fraction; a sensation of relief escaped me like the slow deflation of a tire. "All seems to be correct," he remarked without flourish. "Welcome to Emerson University." Those words echoed in my consciousness—a summons to a journey filled with both promise and the unknown. My existence was on the brink of transformation beyond what I could truly grasp. "Thank you," I uttered, maintaining composure amid the internal tempest. "I will not disappoint you." With a subsequent, barely noticeable nod, he signaled the beginning of my next step in orientation. Rising and approaching the doorway, my footsteps felt more buoyant than they had previously. * * * The rep's nod, stiff as a board, ushers me toward the door marked "Health Check." My hand grazes the cold metal handle, and I push through. Heart drumming a wild rhythm against my ribs, I step over the threshold. Inside, the room unfolds like a scene from a sci-fi flick, gleaming equipment and screens casting a sterile glow. A tech with hair pulled back so tight it could snap stands clipboard in hand, eyes sharp as a hawk's. "Name?" "Bixente Echavoyen." She ticks off something on her board and gestures to a chair that looks more like a throne from the future. "Sit. We'll start with your vitals." I lower myself onto the chair, arms resting on cold metal sidebars. The chair hums to life as cuffs wrap around my biceps, squeezing gently. "Blood pressure normal," she announces, her voice void of any warmth. Next comes a gadget that beeps over my chest – checking my heart, I guess. "Heart rate's a bit high. Nervous?" "Aren't I supposed to be?" She doesn't smile. Instead, she motions me to follow her to another station where a device scans me head to toe. "Height and weight within acceptable range for Earthling standards," she mutters, scribbling more notes. We move through each test – blood drawn, reflexes checked, vision screened – each beep and scribble cranks up the tension in my gut. "Ever been through anything like this before?" I ask, trying to cut through the silence. "Routine for all travelers," she replies curtly. "Precautionary measures." A new contraption looms ahead; it's like an oversized helmet attached to a nest of wires. She sees me eyeing it. "Neurological sync check," she explains. "It'll align your brainwaves with Amazonian frequencies." The helmet lowers onto my head with a soft whirr. A faint buzzing tickles my scalp. "All set," she declares after a moment that stretches long enough for me to question what 'all set' really means. As we round up the tests, my anticipation spikes alongside my nerves. Each check is another step closer to Amazonia – another step away from everything familiar. With each test marked complete on her clipboard, the tech leads me back to the door. "You're cleared for travel," she says, handing me a badge with my name and picture on it. "This is your ID and health pass." Taking the badge, I can't help but feel like it's more than just plastic and print – it's the ticket to my new life. She escorts me towards another door at the end of the room. My future waits just beyond it – immense and unknowable. I swallow hard. "What's next?" "The portal," she says as if it's just another routine step in this otherworldly process. My throat tightens around words I can't quite find as I inch closer to the shimmering gateway that will rocket me into the unknown.

I have been a cross dresser for over 30 years and I have been active for at least 10 years (bar, club, restaurants, events etc) and I had a lot of trans friends My point of view is that wanting to suppress the right to freedom of expression because there are people who don't think like you is as serious in my eyes as being homophobic, transphobic etc etc etc Now if you want to ban me because I don't agree with the fact that we don't solve a problem by prohibiting freedom of expression, you can do it I will sleep with a clear conscience

Chapter 4: Amazon Love in Dimensions – LittleFallenPrincess As soon as I saw the Amazon walk through the enormous portal, I leapt off the sofa and ran for my life. ‘No way she’s catching me!’ I thought to myself as my heart was beating a mile a minute. ‘I like being Alex’s little... but I’d hate to have it forced upon me. I’m sure this place has places I can hide. I mean... she can barely fit in the sanctum... she can’t get through the doorways!’ So I ran towards the nearest doorway, which looked to be the kitchen. My shoes slipped on the wooden floor as I ran as quickly as I could for a safe place to hide. “PAIGE!” I heard from behind me. No. Can’t stop and look back now. I need to hide. Diving behind a kitchen counter, I leant back, crouching down so I was out of view of that... monster. “Paige... where are you?” I heard from behind me. Noelle popped her head around the corner and looked at me. “Paige... what the hell?” “She... she’s an amazon... she’ll adopt... she...” “You really are scared of them, aren’t you?” she asked, sitting down next to me and placing her hand on my leg. “I... I’ve heard the horror stories. She’s not taking me.” I replied. “But we told you, she’s just a variation of Alexandria. She’s nice! I promise!” “I... no... Amazons aren’t nice. Or at least they pretend to be... then they shove you in a nursery and you’re never heard from again...” Noelle grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “I promise you, Charlie won’t do that. She’s like the nicest person ever, although she can be a bit of a tease sometime. Which apparently seems to be another reoccurring trait between variations of her. Lemme guess, Alexandria loves to tease you?” “I...” My heart was slowing down. “Umm, I mean... yeah. She does.” “See! She’s just a really tall version of Alex. I promise you. Have a look if you don’t believe me...” I turned around and slowly peeked over the kitchen counter towards the doorway. And sat down with her legs crossed on the other side of the kitchen... was... no... she looked like Alex... but bigger. But... she had the same smile I had seen countless times on my wife before. She had the exact same smile that I loved. The same freckles. But her hair was ginger, instead of blonde. Whilst not as strong as the bond I felt with Alex... I could feel a connection with Charlotte... something telling me I could trust her... that... we were... connected somehow. “You feel it too, right?” Noelle asked, breaking my concentration. “Feel what?” I played dumb. “Like you could trust her. And Rose. And Morgan.” “Y... yeah... what is that?” “I’ve talked to Liv and Faith about it, they feel it too. It seems like we have a special bond with our dimension’s version of them... but even with the other ones, it’s still there... albeit weaker. Stronger than friendship, but not quite as intense as the bond we have with our own Mummy.” “I... should be scared of her. I mean I was a minute ago... but looking at her... it’s like...” “Like she’s your Mummy, but not quite?” She had taken the words right out of my mouth... “Yeah. That’s exactly it.” “Apparently they feel the same way about us. They feel strongest about their own little, but they’re still super protective and maternal around the rest of us. Rose was telling me how she was willing to protect Liv with her life when Liv got regressed at her wedding.” “Wait... so it’s not just a... relationship? The little version of us... and the Amazon version of Alex... they’re... married?” “Yeah! They had this big wedding. Charlie’s ex nearly regressed Liv fully, but they managed to save her with the help of Faith’s nanites. It was apparently very scary. Shortly after that wedding, Rose met me.” “But I thought... Amazons were evil and wouldn’t... couldn’t date littles...” “That may have been the case a few years ago, but Charlie is a big shot author who wrote some very pro-little books, which convinced their country to pass a bill to allow them to marry. They were the first little-Amazon couple to marry in their country. It was a huge deal. Now Charlie is working on a third book, and Liv is running for Government.” “Wow! Really?” “Uh huh! It’s super exciting.” I took a deep breath. I knew what I needed to do, despite my instincts tell me to hide still. Thankfully, that connection between me and her was more powerful than me fear of her Amazon status. “Umm... I’d... I’d like to apologise to Charlie, if that’s okay...” “I’ve got an idea. I need to run it by Rose first. So stay right here, okay?” Noelle said, standing up and rushing out. “...Uh... okay...” I said, sitting there, bewildered. I stayed there for a good ten minutes. No one came in, and I was still too nervous to go out, especially since Noelle told me to stay put. Even Charlie had gotten up and walked off somewhere. I kept peeking over the top of the counter to see if anything was happening... but there was nothing. Not even Alex came to check on me. “Paige? Sweetie?” That was a familiar voice... but considering they all sound so damn similar... I couldn’t be sure. “Alex?” I stood up, spinning around to see Alex by the door. “They... they’ve fixed the problem.” She said. “Huh?” “Come see for yourself, baby. Come along...” Alex waved me over. Nervously walking out of the kitchen, I grabbed her hand as she escorted me slowly out to the living area again. “W... where’s Charlotte?” I asked. “Here I am!” I heard someone say in the distance. I couldn’t see anyone. That was until Liv moved to the side, and stood there, the same height as Rose, Alex and Morgan... was Charlie. “I can’t believe it worked! You’re... well not my height... but... you’re a little!” Liv said, a massive grin appearing on her face. She wasn’t wrong, she was the same height as Alex and the other variations of her... but she still had to look down towards me as I got closer and closer to her. But now it’s the same height difference that Alex and I share. “I’m... a little!” Charlie couldn’t believe it. You could tell by her face that she wasn’t ever expecting to be this small. “What happened?” I asked nervously. Noelle skipped over to me. “Well Rose and I during our travels came across some other dimensions that also had access to magic. Turns out our dimension wasn’t the only one! Well anyway, reading through some of their research, we managed to find a way to cast the size transformation spell Rose loves to use on me on someone as large as Charlie. We hadn’t tried it yet, but I figured this was the best opportunity. So it means you aren’t frightened of her, and she can use the bathrooms in this place!” Noelle laughed. Charlie walked over to me. I could see something shiny dangling from her neck, something that wasn’t there before. ‘The spell... must be something to do with that necklace she’s now wearing...’ “Sorry for scaring you. I know a lot of Amazons can be cruel, and some, if not most, of the horror stories you’ve heard are true. But not all of us are like that. Our society is changing, at least in our country it is. Amazons are starting to treat littles with respect and dignity.” “That... that’s because of you and Liv, right?” I asked. I could feel myself warm up to her as we talked. “Well I like to think we had a hand in it, yes. But I think a lot of people were capable of it, it’s just... they needed a push. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still a lot of progress. That’s why Liv is hoping to become an MP.” “I... I’m sorry. For the way I acted. I... I’ve always had a fear of your dimension. My... my old crew loved to make threats about sending me there as punishment.” “Well that’s just cruel. I don’t blame you for being so scared sweetie. Come here...” Charlie pulled me closer for a hug. Letting her do so, I felt her normal-sized arms wrap themselves around me. And it felt... familiar. Just like Alex’s hugs. But a bit different. “Can we start again?” I asked, pulling out of the hug. “Of course. Hi! I’m Charlotte, but you can call me Charlie.” “Hi Charlie... I’m Paige.” “Well it’s lovely to meet you, Paige. And this is your Mummy, I presume? Seeing as we both look alike...” Charlie grinned. Alex walked up and shook her hand. “Hi. I’m Alexandria... but I suppose if we’re going to be friends... you lot can call me Alex.” “Well it’s lovely to meet you Alex.” Charlie responded. Charlie was taken aback as Liv suddenly surprise-hugged her. “Oh hey baby...” Charlie squeezed her back. “You’re... I... I can’t believe it...” Liv said, her voice muffled by Charlie’s top. Liv’s face was pressed into her wife’s chest so much, I’m surprised she could still breathe! “I know baby, neither can I! I’m your size now!” They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed each other. It was a little awkward, no doubt they needed to get used to the tiny size difference compared to the usual difference they had to deal with on a daily basis. “Noelle? How long will this last?” Liv asked. “Well as long as that necklace I created is around your neck... it should last indefinitely. If you take that off... I’d give it an hour at most before the spell’s connection breaks.” “We’ll work with that.” Charlie said, smiling. Liv just stood there, mystified by her wife not being twice her height. “I...” was all she could get out. “Come on baby, let’s go snuggle up together on the sofa, try out this new size. I can’t carry you though... or maybe I can? I’m not sure.” “You should still have the same strength as your Amazon body, but densely packed into your new size.” Noelle mentioned. Charlie lifted Liv up in her arms effortlessly and carried her over to the sofa area where they snuggled up with each other, kissing each other and losing themselves in each other’s eyes. “If everyone would like to come sit down...” Rose announced to the rest of us. Alex took my hand and escorted me over to the sofa area. Morgan carried Faith over and they snuggled up together, and Noelle sat next to Rose. It seemed each couple had taken their own corner of the sofa-pit, snuggling up together. It was cute. And weird. Very weird. Seeing multiple versions of me and Alex... but all of them different slightly... I couldn’t stop looking at Charlie’s new height... Morgan’s robot arms... Rose’s glasses... “You okay baby?” Alex whispered to me. “Uh... uh huh. Just... getting used to all this. It’s... a lot to take in.” “Me too, baby, me too. But they seem trustworthy. So let’s just see what all this is about, okay?” “Thank you for coming, everyone.” Rose spoke up. “As you are aware, the multiverse theory is real. And there are multiple variations of us. It’s nice to welcome Alex and Paige into our little... whatever you want to call it. Sorry it was under such... unusual circumstances. But that’s what we’re here to discuss.” “It’s nice to be here, and meet all of you. Still going to take a bit to get used to the fact that there are other us...’s.” Alex said. Everyone responded with a smile, a couple of the littles waved happily. “So as you are all aware... we had a vision. All of us. At the same time. Now... I’ve had a vision before, similar to the shared one we had.” “You have?” Noelle asked. “When? Why didn’t you tell me?” “Because I didn’t think it was important until we had the shared one earlier. I figured it was just my brain playing tricks on me.” “When did you have the vision?” Charlie asked. “...When I died.” “You failed to tell us you died!” Charlie looked unimpressed. “Well... I’m not dead now!” Rose joked. “So what was in your vision the first time?” Morgan asked. “Same couple. But I was on a beach, enjoying the sun with the little. They hadn’t been... captured... or whatever had happened to them... yet.” Looking around, everyone seemed fascinated by this revelation. Everyone... except Faith. “F... Faith?” I asked, nervously. She just sat there, snuggled up to Morgan, frozen. “What’s up, babygirl?” Morgan bent down to ask her. “I... umm...” “Go on... you can tell me...” “Umm... when... when I was shot...” “You were shot?” Liv shouted at her. Now it was Liv’s turn to be surprised. Apparently despite being the same people... we didn’t seem to share a lot of key points. “Yeah... just before I came over to your universe to recover...” Faith took a breath. “My ex shot me. I nearly died.” “I mean you did die for a short time sweetie... Evie revived you...” Morgan corrected her. “I did? Umm...” “You had a vision too, didn’t you sweetie?” Rose asked her, softly. The same way Alex talks to me when I’m little and feeling sensitive or nervous. “Uh huh. It was on a beach. With the brown haired one. It was... nice. The buildings were all white and...” “Gold?” Rose finished her sentence. “Yeah!” Faith looked surprised. “So we had the same dream or vision or whatever when we died... and when I touched the jewel, we all had the same vision... across dimensions.” “Wait... so if we had the same visions, does that mean... the other variations in other dimensions had it too?” “Ah, I had thought of that. Before I went to get Liv and Charlie, I quickly visited one other dimension where I knew I had met another version of us before.” “Which one?” Alex asked. “Aeyuivia.” “Oh! The one from the story you gave us! See Charlie, I knew it was another version, and I told you it was Rose!” Liv said, looking up at her wife with the biggest grin on her face. “Yes you did, baby, well done.” Charlie replied. Liv looked so proud of herself, it was adorable. Especially with her all dressed up all babyish like that. It kind of made me wish I was little like her now... “Well yes, I went back to Aeyuivia. But apparently... they hadn’t experienced any visions.” Rose continued. “So it was just the four pairs of us?” Noelle asked. “That I know of... yes. I don’t know why, but it only affected us eight, and no other variations. But still, it managed to affect us spread across three different dimensions...” “So what was it? The vision I mean.” Noelle asked. I just kept quiet and watched as everyone else talked. “Well what we know so far... is that there are these two women... who look like us. So automatically... I’m assuming they’re another variation. Ones with magic, obviously. Not just because of the illusion spell the Mummy cast in the vision, but also because the vision was sent out as soon as I touched the jewel at Alex and Paige’s place. It felt... magical in origin.” Rose sounded so confident, despite not knowing much more about all this than the rest of us. “But what about the visions you and Faith had when you... died.” Charlie asked. “That... I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with how I was brought back. I’m not sure about anything, that’s why...” Rose held her hand out, palm up. Then waving her other over it... something magically appeared. “Wow... look Alex! Magic!” I said to Alex, excitedly. “I know baby! I never would have thought it was real before today!” She responded, squeezing me tightly. In Rose’s hand, lay a black cloth. And inside it... was another jewel, that looked almost identical to the one Alex had stored in her safe... the one Rose touched and started this whole thing off with. But this one was white, not red. Same size, same shape... just different colour. “Is that...?” Alex asked. “Yes. But not the same. It’s one I found in Aeyuivia, for helping out the King a long time ago... well... I say help.... anyway, I never claimed my reward, so when I went back to check on them earlier to see if the Queen and her Princess had had any visions... I saw this on display. They had no idea what it was, they hadn’t even touched it, it was apparently something the King had acquired when he was young. So I asked if I could take it as late payment, and they said sure.” “So... there’s more than one jewel...” Alex cupped her chin in her hand, deep in thought. “Yes, two that we know of now. And we have both. But this one... this one hasn’t been touched.” “Umm... I’m guessing if we do... we’ll all have those visions again?” I asked. “I’d say there’s a high probability of that being the case, yes. But only if everyone is ready. Plus, there’s something I’d like to try out if that’s okay?” Rose asked. Alex looked up at her. “Well I’m sure we can handle those visions again.” Everyone around the living room area nodded. “But... what is this thing you’d like to try?” Alex’s inquisitive nature coming out yet again. “Well... no doubt you’ve had that jewel of yours for years, correct?” “Correct. It was Paige who stole it for me.” “Wait... stole?” Liv asked. “I... I was a thief. It’s how Alex and I met...” I muttered as my face turned red and I focused my view towards the floor. “Oh you’ll have to tell us the full story sometime! I’m intrigued!” Liv grinned. Blushing, I snuggled closer to Alex. “Well in those years... both of you must have handled it, correct?” Rose continued with her train of thought. “I mean... when I stole it, I was wearing gloves. But when we got together and we worked on her research... yeah I handled it, as did Alex.” I answered. “Yet no one had any visions...” “Yeah...” Alex squinted, trying to figure this all out in her head. “So for some reason... it was only when I touched it that it activated and showed us all the visions. Which would make me believe that it must be something magical about it that triggers it. So if I can test my theory... can everyone try touching this jewel, one by one?” “...Okay...” Alex said, standing up and reaching out. Taking the round, flawless jewel in her hand... aaaand... nothing happened. “You next, babygirl.” She said, handing me the jewel. I hesitantly held out my hand, awaiting some kind of reaction as the jewel touched my skin... but again, nothing happened. Liv and Charlie got up and took the jewel from me, passing it from Charlie to Liv with no reaction whatsoever. Next was Morgan and Faith... still no reaction. “Now babygirl...” Rose looked at Noelle. “We know I’ve been able to activate one... let’s see if it’s magic that activates it...” Noelle walked over to Morgan, nervously taking the jewel from her hand. And as soon as her finger touched the surface of the crystal-clear jewel... A searing pain shot through my head. ========================================================== Another vision next chapter! ? I hope everyone enjoys this new story as it goes on! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! Thank you to all my patrons for their support! Don't forget, the next 4 chapters are available on my Patreon, which can be found here if you go for the second tier. You get two weeks early access to chapters of Love in Dimensions. New chapters of Love in Dimensions every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks! ?

Chapter 9: Sitting there on the edge of my bed, my senses was on high alert as adrenaline was rushing through my veins. Every inhale and exhale, every beat of my heart and the footstep of my Mom, which got closer and closer, I could hear all of it as I sat there, waiting for her to come and change my diaper, which I knew I had wet a couple of times earlier in the day. As her footsteps got closer, time seemed to slow down as I sat there, waiting and waiting, until finally the door to my bedroom was slowly pushed open, as Mom poked her head through the opening, a relaxed, caring and forgiving smile on her face, which also reflected in her eyes and the tone of her voice. “You all ready, honey?” She stepped inside, slowly approaching me. “Mom, really, I’m okay with changing myself. As I said, the new diapers shoulder be easier, with them only having to tapes and all.” The same argument as I had tried in the kitchen earlier, clearly still didn’t have any validation, as she continued to get closer. She seemed to completely ignore my wasted attempt of talking my way out of what was about to happen, as she went to my dresser and opened the designated top diaper drawer and started pulling out everything she would need for the awaiting process. Producing a bottle of power, wipes and a fresh new color full diaper, she stopped for a second before addressing me. “Which plastic pants would you prefer?” The idea of having to pick out a pair of plastic pants to go over my diaper, seemed so distant for me, that I seemed to have trouble formulate an answer, before Mom answered her own question. “I’ll think we’ll go with the see-through once for now, that way we can also see if the wetness indicator actually works.” She produced a pair of transparent plastic pants from the drawer, gathered everything and then made the finale few steps towards me, placing everything onto the bed next to me. She made it sound like, I wasn’t perfectly capable of keeping track of the wetness of my own diaper and the indicator being an absolute must to avoid any accidental leakages. But there was no time to dwell further into that statement, as a mix of my ABDL dreams and my worst nightmare was about to take place. “Pants off, please.” Her command went for deaf ears, I’m pretty sure I heard her completely fine, but the whole situation had sent my central nervous system and brain into a state of shock, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to react, I was simply to slow to follow through, before Mom lost patient with me. “Okay then, lay back down, honey.” She placed her palm on my chest and gently guided me backwards, until my head and back hit the mattress, which resulted in the plastic sheet crinkling underneath my weight. “Now, let’s see here.” She proceeds to unbutton my pants and wiggle them downwards off my hips and off the swollen, wet diaper, leaving them hanging around my ankles. “We may have a problem with the new diapers, Honey. Your pants are already awfully tight around the old once, I’m not sure they are going to fit over the new once.” She placed a light palm on the front of my moist diaper, sending chills down my spine. “Or maybe it’s just because you wet this one, so much. Wow, you really did a job on it. Good thing we were going to change you anyway or this may have resulted in another unfortunate leak.” She slowly moved her hand across the diaper and proceed to grab and rip the tape on the right side, before quickly switching to the left side and in one swift moment ripped that one to. The old air hit me instantly as the diaper was lifted from on top of my crotch and opened up, revealing my “manhood” and leaving me exposed right there in front of my Mom, naked as the day I was born. “Yeah, it’s completely soaked through, this could not have handle another single drop. Bum up.” It was hard figuring out, if the small talk was directed at me or if she was just thinking out loud, but her instruction resulted in an imitate reaction, as I lifted my hips, allowing her to slide the used diaper out from under me. As she was busy folding up the used diaper, the situation finally hit me, as my hands shot down to my crotch, trying to cover up the best I could, desperately trying to avoid the embarrassment of lying there naked in front of my Mom. She lets the used diaper drop to the floor and pulled out a few wipes and started the process of washing me off, completely ignoring the fact, that I was trying to cover up, simply pushing my hands away. “You’re keeping a good hygiene honey, but you’re starting to turn a little bit red. We need to keep an eye on that, don’t want you developing a diaper rash, now would we?” I didn’t understand how she could be so casual about all of this, how could she not find it weird or even uncomfortable to see her twenty something son, laying bare ass naked in front of her? But that was another question, I never had the time to find an answer to, as the next thing I knew she was picking up a brand new diaper, unfolding it in her hands and with a quick “Up.” Command, made me raise my hips off the bed, allowing her to slide it under my bottom. It didn’t take long to notice that this diaper was clearly thicker, it felt like my ass was laying on a pillow or an inflated cloud. Powder started sprinkling down onto my still naked crotch, before quickly being patted in by Mom’s gently, soft palms, before she grabbed a hold of the front of the diaper and started wiggling it up between my thighs, making sure to make it nice and snug, before folding the front up, finally covering up my crotch area. As I heard the opening and following closing of the tapes on each side, it was obvious that this diaper was different. The way it fit and almost hugged my waist and crotch, the clear size and volume difference compared to my previous plastic underwear and of course the bright decorated outer shell, complete with bears, pacifiers, rattles and bottles and the much discussed wetness indicator. This was truly something else. Lost in my own thought about my new plastic shell, I didn’t even notice Mom sliding my pants off my ankles and quickly replacing them with the see through plastic pants, as she slid them up my legs and thighs. “Stand up for me please, honey.” I did as I was told, with a gentle assist from Mom, as the plastic pants was still stuck around my thighs. Just as I got up, she gave them one last yank, bringing them up and over the diaper and up to my hips and waist, before making sure everything was safely tucked inside, leaving me standing there, ready for inspection. She took at short step backwards, taking a second to admire her handy work. “It’s a miracle, a perfect fit, I wasn’t sure about your size, when I ordered everything, but seems I got it just right.” She continued to give me the elevator stare, as I stood in front of her, my legs in a wide stance due to the sheer size and volume of the diaper between my legs. “But I’m sorry, Honey.” She chuckled. “Even in dry condition, there is no way, that your jeans are going to fit over those diapers.” She bent down, picking up the used diaper she just changed me out of. “But we’ll find a solution to that problem also. For now, throw on some sweatpants and when you’re ready just come down stairs, I’ll start making dinner.” She turned and walked out of my room, leaving me alone in my new diaper and plastic pants, still in a state of shock, as I turned and walked or more like waddled over to the full length mirror that occupied one wall of the room. There was no hiding the sheer size and volume of this diaper, despite it being in mint condition, with no wetness to it at all, it was clear that this diaper was no meant to be discreet or hidden in anyway. The way it pushed my legs apart and the puff in the back and front, rounded out my whole crotch area and the transparent plastic pants, meant that the colorful and childish design of the diaper itself, was on full display. Speaking of the plastic pants, as I made my way to the dresser to pick up a pair of sweatpants that hopefully would fit over the massive diaper, the plastic pants made a crinkle with every single step I took. The diaper on its own made noise, but the plastic pants were on a whole another level. Luckily I managed to slide some sweats over the diaper, but a quick glance in the mirror, revealed that the diaper was still pretty obvious. The rounding around the hips and crotch, together with the volume in the back and front, combined with a slightly wider stance was all a clear indication that something was off and was something you would normally see on a small child, toddler or even infant. Confined to my new wardrobe, I let out a sigh and finally headed out the room and towards the kitchen, where the smell of food hit my nostrils. Upon entering I was instructed to help set the table, which I waddled around and did to the best of my ability, with a clear and distinct crinkle following my every step and move. “By the way.” Mom broke the silence, as we both enjoyed the food in front of us. “I briefly described your article to the diaper company and they seemed rather interested and asked if it would be possible for you to give them a few mentions, throughout it. Just for publicity. It may spread the word to more people around the city and even the country, that there is a company specializing in these sort of product. It’s one of the reason, why they gave me such a good offer. So before bed tonight, could you please write something in your notes about them so you don’t forget?” She took another mouthful and washed it down with a glass of water. “Uh, yeah sure, Mom.” Compared to everything else that happened in the last few hours, describing in my article how I ended up in this sort of infantile diaper and plastic pants, didn’t seem like a big deal and we both carried on eating, before clearing the table and retreating to the living room As the night progressed we lost ourselves in guessing along to another generic TV gameshow, as we usually did. The sun set outside and evening turned to night, when the distinct feeling of a full bladder hit me like lightning from a clear blue sky. The new diaper was about to be put to the test, as with little to no effort I relaxed my lower abdomen and unleashed a flood of warm urine into the awaiting padding. The diaper instantly started soaked up the stream of urine, that poured out of my body, as I felt the diaper started to swell around my crotch. Surprisingly the diaper did an amazing job, soaking up the pee as fast as I could let it out, as it continued to swell, spreading my legs further and further apart. As the stream stopped, the diaper finished it job, soaked up the last few drops and if it wasn’t for the warm feeling around my groin, I would have never known that I had just emptied my bladder, as the diaper didn’t feel especially moist or wet. About an hour later I announced that I would be retreating to my bedroom to do some writing on my article and afterwards go straight to bed. As I got up to leave, I could feel the heaviness of the diaper beneath me and my waddle had gotten even more obvious due to the diaper having expended upon soaking up my last wetting. “Hold on one second.” I turned around, to see my Mom get up from the couch and walk towards me. “Just going to do a quick check.” Before I even had time to ask her, “what she needed to check?” She had her hands on the edge of my pants and with a quick tug, brought them down just enough to expose my plastic pants covered diaper. “uh, would you look at that.” She proclaimed, placing a light palm on the front of the diaper. “Well, you clearly used it and the wetness indicator actually seems to be working.” Referee to some of the childish starts running up and down the diaper being partially faded. “But, there doesn’t seem to be any reason to change you yet, you’re fine wearing this to bed tonight.” She quickly pulled my pants back up and gave me a smile. “Sleep tight, Honey and I’ll see you tomorrow.” She turned back around to return to the couch and her tv-show. Once again I was left at a loss for words, as I simply turned and waddled my way back to my bedroom and closed the door behind me. Sitting down at my desk and firing up my computer, I went into writing overdrive sparing no details in the describing the events of the day and of course making sure to mention the company, that played a part in all of it going down. Putting words down on paper seemed like a kind of therapy that night, I was still having trouble processing everything that had happened, the shock, the panic, the embarrassment and a few hundred other feelings all mixed together. You would think being an ABDL that this was a dream come true and I would be lying if I said I had never fantasied about the events of that day unfolding in my head a million times. But having it actually happen in real life, laying their naked in front of my Mom, as she stood over me looking down, unfolding fresh diaper and placing it under me, taping it up and sealing me inside the colorful plastic cover. Having her due a literal diaper check, without my approval. All of this seemed like the wildest fantasy for any Adult Baby. But as they say “be careful, what you wish for.” I had not felt any pleasure during those moments and the thoughts of it potentially happening again, send shivers down my spine. As I typed out the last sentences, I felt another slight pressure builder in my bladder and once again let loose into my diaper. Compare to the earlier wetting this was nothing special and the diaper did a quick job of absorbing every last drop, as I got up and headed to bed. Completely emotionally drained from the happenings of the day.

I've had a few messages asking if this story was still alive and if I was planning to write more of it and trust me, the story is still going, but sadly the Covid19 chaos, have been effecting my everyday life and put a lot of stress on me, so my time and energy have not been spent on writing. My country is now almost on a complete lockdown, school, bars and most shops are now closed and I'm expecting my place of employment to close down too. But hey, maybe that will give me 14 days with a lot of free time on my hand And speaking of which. Here ya go: Chapter 7: To avoid another argument and scolding, I did as I was told and started bringing the damn bag with me every time I left the house. I made sure to leave it in the car, when going out shopping or doing anything else outside the house. It seemed stupid and pointless, but I knew Mom had made up her made and another discussion would simply lead to another lose on my behalf. But one day the bag did come into play. Having been sent to the store one afternoon to do some basic grocery shopping, which included buying more power, oil and wipes for myself, I was making my way out the supermarket, well knowingly that I has used my diaper not only on the way to the store, but also while browsing through the aisles, trying to find everything on my shopping list. Both wettings had seemed rather small and was quickly absorbed into the soft padding of my plastic underwear, which is why as I was leaving the store and hit by the feeling of a full bladder once again, I did not think a second about and as I was making my way across the parking lot towards the car, I went through the process that had become almost second nature and simply held my breath for a brief moment, allowing my muscles to relax and my bladder to let loose. Within seconds of my bladder letting go, I was hit with a feeling I knew too well. Not the feeling of my diaper soaking up the warm urine, that had already happened. Not the feeling of my bladder emptying and my diaper swelling up around my groin, that had already happened. The feeling that hit me, was the feeling of my pants soaking. The feeling of warm urine leaking out the side of my diaper and slowly running down my leg. Without a second thought and without even having a quick look at the damage I had caused, as soon as the flow of urine stopped, I set out in an all-out sprint. I could see the car; it was only a few 100 meters away. I did not have time to see if anyone had seen me standing there in the middle of the parking lot, pissing myself so badly, that my diaper had leaked. The only thing on my mind, was getting to the safety of the car. I reached it within seconds and while gasping for air I threw the grocery bag into the front seat, before throwing myself after it, landing with a splat on the seat and slamming the door behind me. My heartbeat was through the roof, I was gasping for air, on the verge of a mental breakdown as I looked down myself, my pants completely soaked from the crotch and down both legs. If anyone had seen me, it would have been very clear, what had happened to me. My eyes started to swell up, on the verge of tears, I tried to compose myself, trying to take deep breath, trying to get my breathing, body and emotions under control. I was edging on a complete panic attack, as I was hyperventilating in the front seat of the car. My aspect of time disappeared for that moment. I don’t know how long I was sitting in the front seat, trying to calm myself, trying to avoid going completely hysteric and having a full blown breakdown right then and there. But the reality of my soaked pants turning old and irritating my skin, brought me back. Using the sleeve of my shirt, I whipped the snot and few tears away from my face, tried taking in a deep breath and compose myself, before awkwardly sliding between the two front seats and into the backseat, where my diaper bag was located. Opening up the bag, I damn near threw all the content onto the back seat and started the process of removing my soaked jeans, tossing and turning in the back of the car, trying to peel them off my legs, exposing my soaked diaper, while praying that nobody would pass by the car at that moment and see me, now sitting naked in the backseat surrounded by everything you would need to change a baby out of their spoiled diaper and into a fresh new one. Cleaning myself and putting on a new diaper and pants in the backseat wasn’t easy and it didn’t turn out great or pretty. But after tossing and turning for what seemed like half an hour, I was finally back in a dry diaper and more importantly a dry pair of pants. I threw the soaked diaper and jeans into a plastic bag and dumped it onto the floor of the car, before slithering back into the front seat and fired up the engine, wanting to get home as quick as possible, hoping for this nightmare to end as I reached the safety of home. I felt like I was dreaming on the way home, everything felt so surreal and I believe I was still in a state of emotional shock, as I arrived in the driveway and headed straight inside, not even bothering to bring the groceries, my diaper bag or used diaper and spoiled jeans with me. Upon entering the house, I almost bumped into Mom who was in the middle of cleaning up. “Hey Honey, how did it go.” Noticing the lack of groceries with me, she gave me a confused look. “Where are the groceries and your diaper bag. Are you okay?” the motherly and concerned tone in her voice, must have tricked something in my brain as I completely broke down, then and there. Tears rolling down my face, completely unable to control my emotions, as snot and saliva started to flow from my nose and mouth. “Oh honey, it’s okay.” She quickly embraced me, allowing my face to be buried into her chest, as I continued to cry my eyes out, gasping for air between my cries. “Sh,sh,sssshhh. It’s okay honey, it’s okay. Did you have a big accident, is that what happened?” She could already tell, what had happened, due to the fact that I was wearing different pants, despite me being unable to explain the situation, due to hyperventilating. The result of my unstable emotional state, resulted in a complete lack of body control, as I flooded my diaper, while embracing my Mom and as a result of a terrible diaper job in the back of the car, once again leaked and sent a warm flow of urine running down my legs and onto the floor. “Oh honey, look at you. You’re a real mess, you’re leaking all over the floor.” Despite me now standing in a puddle of urine, she did not let go, allowing me to sob into her chest, until my breathing finally slowed and I started to calm down, as I regained my ability to breath and speak. “I’m so, so sorry. I leaked at the store and had to change in the car and it was just, it was just, it was just so HARD.” I was on the verge of breaking down again and she quickly caught that. “its’s okay baby, it’s okay. I’ll get everything from the car and take care of all of this. Just go to your room, try to calm down and clean yourself up.” While still gasping for air and sniffing heavily, trying to stop snot from running down my face, I let go of my Mom and so did she, as we went in separate directions passing each other, her heading to the car and me heading straight to my room. Entering the safety of my bedroom, I ripped off my pants, shirt, socks and tore the diaper off almost in a fit of rage, curling it all together, while walked straight towards the bathroom, naked as the day I was born. In there I hurled the diaper into the diaper pail and threw all my clothes into the washing machine, slamming the door on it, as hard as I could. While showing off, tears once again started running down my face, as I leaned against the wall. The day had been so humiliating, the loss of control and being unable to fix anything by myself, had been a real tipping point. Luckily nobody had seen me embarrass and wetting myself in the middle of the carpark and despite wetting all over the floor and making a real mess, Mom had not seemed mad or angry with me. After showing in what seemed like forever, scrubbing every part of my body, trying to wash of the embarrassment, I went back to my bedroom and diapered myself once again, taking really good care to make sure the diaper was on perfectly, not wanting to have the embarrassment of the day repeat itself anytime in the near future. Afterwards I let my head hit the pillow, planning to just take a quick nap, trying to rest up and forget everything that just happened. As my eyes got heavy and I sank into a deep comfortable sleep.

Thank you for the feedback and interest guys. I'll try to keep the updates regular, but some time real life takes priority or I just hit a writers block, so please be patient with me. But here you go Chapter 2: Slowly opening up my eyes the next morning, two things quickly hit me. 1. I’ve been sleeping on my stomach; which I don’t think I’ve ever done before. 2. I really got to use the restroom. “Well, I’m wearing a diaper for a reason.” I thought to myself, as I repeated the process from the day before, of closing my eyes, inhaling and exhaling deeply and trying to relax. Sadly, the result was the same, as the night before, with nothing happening. Shifting myself to my back, to take some of the pressure off my crotch area, I repeated the process and after several deep breaths, I was meet by a tickle and warm sensation spreading around my crotch and diaper area. As the stream stopped, I laid frozen for a few minutes, enjoying the experience and taking in my situation. I slowly moved my hands down under my covers, down along my body until they finally met the warm soft crinkly covers of my diapers. “Oh for FUCK SAKE!” I exclaimed loudly, as the next thing my hands touched was a wet spot on my bedsheet. I shut out of bed and yanked the covers away to reveal several small wet patches on my sheets, where my diaper had been. Once again I had leaked, thanks to a bad diapering job. I quickly stripped the sheets of my bed, while cursing the damn diaper and proceeded to throw everything in the washer, before stripping myself of the failed diaper and jumping in the shower. Afterwards I once again proceeded to diaper myself, being really careful with the tapes and place of the diaper, hoping the third time would be charm, before carrying on with my day. Later in the afternoon I was hit by the urge to use the diaper again and standing in the center of my bedroom one more, this time it seemed to do its job and held everything in. The sense of a warm diaper around my ground instantly turned me on and I proceeded to rub myself through the diaper, reaching what may have been the best orgasm in my life and afterwards spent a few more hours in the moist diaper, even wetting it one more time with success, before finally changing to a fresh one, throwing the old one in the bathroom waste bin, just as Mom arrived home. Several days past in that sort of manner. I would slowly become more comfortable wetting my diaper, often with a 50/50 success in regards to leaks, due to my inability to figure out how to properly diaper myself, but luckily I only wet in the seclusion of my room, which I had been spending almost all my time in since going back to diapers. This was mainly due to the awkwardness of being around my Mom while wearing my new underwear. So I spent most days alone in my room, playing computer, watching TV and writing small bits and pieces, of what would hopefully be my groundbreaking article, often I would only come out to eat or to go change in the bathroom. This was all fine. In my mind I was slowly easing into my new lifestyle, I took everything in a slow pace, this was going to be an adjustment and it would take time to get used to. But then I suddenly got thrown into the deep end. The weekend had arrived, which posed a few challenges. My Mom was going to be home the whole day, so avoiding her would prove to be damn near impossible. But that wasn’t the biggest hurdle that I was about to have to jump. My Mom was yelling for me from the kitchen, as I carefully “waddled” my way to the kitchen, so figure out what was up. “Oh there you are, would you mind driving to the store really quick, I seem to have forgot to buy coffee.” That sentence made my heart skip a beat. GO OUT, in PUBLIC, in my DIAPER!? I knew this was something I would have to get used to at some point, but the reality of that being at that second hit me hard. “Uh, sure Mom.” I stammered as I turned around and headed back to my room. In almost a state of panic, I started to look for pant, which would be able to hide my diaper bulge. At this point my selection of pants, had almost been cut in half, as I had learned that many jeans were not made to fit over an adult sized diaper. I decided on a loose pair of sweatpants and made my way towards the garage, picking up the car keys on the way and soon drove out of the driveway on the way to the store, my heart racing a million miles per hour. Arriving at the store a few moments later, I was on the verge of having a heart attack, as my ticker was almost beating out of my chest. I knew this was something that I had to get over and a challenge that I was forced to was. Still it took several minutes and a lot of deep breaths, before I finally opened the door and exited the car, making my way across the parking lot and into the supermarket. Luckily it turned out to be nearly empty, as I entered through the entrance. “Okay, get in, get out. Nice and easy.” I thought to myself. The question was, do I move slowly trying to avoid having my diaper crinkle too loudly or do I just go for it, hoping to move fast enough for people not to notice the sound of my plastic underwear? “Sprint it is.” I thought, as I picked up my pace, almost running through the aisles, knowing the exact route to my target shelf. I quickly paced by an elderly couple, they didn’t notice me at all, as I turned the corner and arrived at coffee shelf. I stopped for a moment, almost having to catch my breath as my eyes wandered the shelfs, searching for the correct brand. I quickly stopped it and grabbed a glass off the shelf, but stopped dead in my track just as I was about to turn around and make my way towards the exit. A very familiar pressure was pushing on my bladder, feeling I knew very well. I stood frozen, as I surveyed my surroundings. Not a person in sight. “I’ve come this far, got to get past this sooner or later.” The thoughts were bouncing around my head, did I dare, was I ready? My brain apparently made up its own mind, as it took over control and my body let loose. What started as a trickle, quickly turned into a fountain as I flooded my diaper right there in the coffee aisle. “Please don’t leak, please don’t leak.” I was praying that I had done a good job in diapering myself and that my plastic underwear would hold together. After what seemed like hours, but may only have been a minute, the stream stopped and I was left out of breath, standing alone in the middle of the supermarket in a soaked diaper. I quickly inspected my pants and found them, DRY!. “Thank god.” I thought, as I once again looked around, finding myself alone. “That was easier than expected.” I mumbled to myself, as I slowly turned around and started to make way towards the check out, my waddle a bit heavier and my pace a lot slower, than when I entered. I reached the same elderly couple that I had passed by moment before, slowly picking up my pace, while trying to now draw attention to myself, my slight waddle or the crinkle coming from my pants. I greeted the middle age woman sitting at the checkout, as I placed the coffee on the register, quickly paying before heading straight for the exit. Finally, back in the car, I exhaled deeply, trying to slow down my heartrate. “Wow!” I let out a scream, happy and satisfied with the outcome of my adventure, a milestone had been passed and it felt amazing! With my diaper still warm between my legs, I made the quick drive home and entered the house proud of my courage and adventure. I put the coffee on the kitchen table together with the keys and made my way towards my room, but was stopped by the sound of my Mom calling me into the living room. Stepping into the living room, I found her sitting on the couch. “Thank you honey, everything went smooth?” She smiled at me. “Yeah, nice and easy, no problem.” I responded, smiling back at her. “And judging by the swelling between your legs, I assume you had quit an adventure.” She chuckled, gesturing towards my diaper area. “Oh yeah, that.” I blushed, almost unable to get my words out. “I wanted to talk to you about that, you may start using some powder…BABY powder that is, just to keep the moisture away from your skin and it would also help hide the smell, that’s bound to appear at some point. If you leave the company card on the table, I could swing by the shop tomorrow and by you some.” I was left stunned for a second, not really sure how to respond to that. “Oh, uhm, yeah, that would be great thanks, Mom”. “No problem.” She turned her attention back to the TV, as I backed out of the room, making sure to leave my credit card on the kitchen table, before heading to my room. This day gave me a lot of material for my article and I made sure to put it all down in writing, before turning in for the night.

glycerine, have you tried a roll-ed up kotex pad? It you roll it over the plastic stickiness, like a sleeping bag, it makes a great plug, especially because it gets thicker when the enema water hits it. also, i dont really understand storing the metamucil overnight, or even making it cold. I always get lukewarm enemas, i can always take more that way, and the metamucil will just all settle overnight. maybe i'm missing something... also, bananas are amazing metamucil substitutes.

Very nice idea, but I suggest that the water one uses is boiled cooled water. Therefore, you are not introducing bacteria into your bowel cavity. - remember, everything that enters your bowels enters the bloodstream direct without being filtered by the liver. Therefore, any harmful bacteria found in water will enter your bloodstream and create toxic shock. Play safe, please.