Getting Surgery in Mexico

[Reddy]

I've been searching for details on what happens during a TURP procedure.  I wanted something very detailed to be able to visualize it.  This was great.  The discussion of the veru and positioning of the external sphincter just past the veru is very interesting.  You can visualize where the external sphincter could be resected.  The surgeon is supposed to take special care not to go outward past the veru because it's too close to the external sphincter, and any damage there risks permanent Incontinence.  But I suppose we're gonna go right past that veru and resect the hell out of some sphincter muscle fibers.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK560884/

I've really wondered about one thing.  Does the resection of these areas occur behind the uretha?  I.e. the surgeon cuts through/past the urethra which exists distinct from the prostate, and then he resects material outside the urethral wall, being careful not to damage the urethra?  Now, I think not.  I am inferring from the reading that the prostatitic urethra is inseparable from the prostate itself, and is entirely obliterated during a TURP.  Based on the link below, it simply regrows like skin inside the prostate.

https://researchexperts.utmb.edu/en/publications/mechanism-of-healing-of-the-human-prostatic-urethra-following-the

[Donaldo]

I envy you, Reddy
And I fully understand you. I am very seriously considering the surgery as well.

My own biggest worries are:
1. Side effects, especially the approx.. 10% risk of getting ED.
2. I have type 2 diabetes, and combined with this surgery, kidneys are double-exposed to issues.
3. I get another injury that combined with this, makes diapered life horrible. (Think: loosing an arm, so you cant do diaper changes yourself)
4. My mind. I would be at the end of the road of a journey that lasted 40+ years. Its taken up a lot of space in my mind for so long. What will be next?

I've been wanting to use diapers since I was 4. Always looking for a reason for it. Always hiding it. I've had my own suicide planned when I was a teenager. A plan I would execute if my DL interest was ever discovered. When I in the late 1990'ies found others with AB/DL interest and realized I was far from alone, those plans got scrapped. When I moved to my own place at age 21, I started using diapers pretty much every night, and every weekend. But never at work, or near friends/family.

Right up to my marriage, that stopped my diaper usage almost completely. (She never supported it)

When I got divorced 4 years ago, my ex' started threating about telling everyone about my DL interest. So I suddenly became "real incontinent", with everyone knowing about it, and started using 24/7. The second-best thing that happened in my life (Getting a son being the best): Being "forced" into diapers very suddenly and not having to hide it. Something similar to what you will soon experience, Reddy. And I promise you: You will cope. And You will love it. Its not "that big a deal" to go diaper dependent overnight. I bet most people who wears diapers (for real reasons) start using them pretty suddenly. At least you have time to mentally prepare.

So good luck, and enjoy the journey. I look forward to your story post-op. Especially about how #4 on my list hits your mind.

 

/D

[Reddy]

Thanks Donaldo, I appreciate the likeness of our desire.  I will definitely keep you all updated post-op.  I'll put in my 2c for your list of concerns.

 

1. Side effects, especially the approx.. 10% risk of getting ED.

This one is maybe my biggest fear.  It's extremely important to me that I can continue to get erect and orgasm.  I am really trusting the surgeon when he says the risk is small, and nobody who got this surgery has had this issue before.  I do expect retrograde ejaculation, but I don't mind that.

2. I have type 2 diabetes, and combined with this surgery, kidneys are double-exposed to issues.

How does this surgery contribute to kidney risks?  Would it be in case of infections due to the surgery?  Or some other cause?  I don't have this concern, but maybe I do not understand it.

3. I get another injury that combined with this, makes diapered life horrible. (Think: loosing an arm, so you cant do diaper changes yourself)

Wow, I never considered that.  That sounds kind of amazing!  I would be totally required to have some kind of assistance, I think.  Unless I could manage it somehow.  I'm not as worried about this though.

4. My mind. I would be at the end of the road of a journey that lasted 40+ years. Its taken up a lot of space in my mind for so long. What will be next?

This is interesting.  I will find out soon!  I think I will have enough other things to pursue, but with the added happiness of being incontinent.  So I don't worry as much about this for now.

 

It is still so hard for me to wait for the surgery.  Time feels so slow.  But once I get through the rest of this week, there are only two more work weeks to go.  I so wish it would come faster.

[superabsorbantpolymer]

20 hours ago, Reddy said:

I've been searching for details on what happens during a TURP procedure.  I wanted something very detailed to be able to visualize it.  This was great.  The discussion of the veru and positioning of the external sphincter just past the veru is very interesting.  You can visualize where the external sphincter could be resected.  The surgeon is supposed to take special care not to go outward past the veru because it's too close to the external sphincter, and any damage there risks permanent Incontinence.  But I suppose we're gonna go right past that veru and resect the hell out of some sphincter muscle fibers.

The source you link states 

>> great care should be taken not to remove tissue more distal than the very, which is directly opposite. This can be challenging as the veru is not visible when resecting the roof. Also, the prostatic tissue is relatively thin here, and there is a significant venous complex (the periprostatic venous plexus or Santorini's plexus) covering the anterior prostatic capsule, which can cause very troublesome bleeding if violated

So bleeding is quite possible due to the very/veru being near to thin veins. (And throughout the surgery, of course). 

If it bleeds it will have to be cauterized.

Your source also states:

>> Do not cauterize the very, as it can cause painful ejaculation later

So painful ejaculation is a very possible outcome of the surgery. 

Other risks include perforation of the urethra, bladder, prostate etc (either through the surgeon being too ambitious, accidents, or a rarely occuring reflex where the patient jumps during surgery), TUR syndrome (a sickness cause by a absorption of monopolar resection fluid), bleeding, anesthesia risks etc.

The cuts and cauterizations form scar tissue, which can get inflamed, infected, block your flow (life threatening), requiring further surgeries. 

Honestly given your surgeon has been instructed to "just fuck my shit up", and will be actively disregarding the standard guidelines, it probably raises the likelihood of complications, the 1/10 risk of impotence for example is definitely raised.

They are doing a lot of trauma to your urinary tract in your surgery, you could end up with abscesses (holes in your body with infection), strictures (scar tissue blocking flow of urine). Then you get more surgery and each time there more trauma and less anatomy to work with.  You could end up with a suprapubic catheter and never pee again or a diversion from your urethra out of your perineum (between your balls and asshole). You could end up with infections that spread to your bladder, kidneys and beyond. 

If all goes well with the surgery, you're still looking at potential long term health issues as a result of the changes to your voiding function. Your constant drip (if that is the outcome) would result in your bladder muscles atrophying, potentially cysts forming. When I've tried to look at cases where they've done as much work as your getting, it's usually for paralysed patients. In one study almost all of them progressed to a suprapubic catheter eventually. That transition is partly influenced by ease of management of their condition, but some of them will be because of failure of the lower urinary tract and a medical need to create a diversion. I'd have to read more to try and find out.

I hope you get the picture. No surgery is risk free, especially an elective do-harm surgery obliterating several key parts of an organ system supporting life. I'm not a doctor but I know enough about surgery to know it's incredibly complex and rarely perfect.  I'm a little worried for you, this is a big operation. I had a much more minor, and complication free urogenital operation (to fix testicle torsion) and it had a really big impact on my life. Months of inflammation, pain, to this day I'm not the same tbh. You're willingly submitting yourself to more trauma and risk, 

[Reddy]

30 minutes ago, superabsorbantpolymer said:

The source you link states 

>> great care should be taken not to remove tissue more distal than the very, which is directly opposite. This can be challenging as the veru is not visible when resecting the roof. Also, the prostatic tissue is relatively thin here, and there is a significant venous complex (the periprostatic venous plexus or Santorini's plexus) covering the anterior prostatic capsule, which can cause very troublesome bleeding if violated

So bleeding is quite possible due to the very/veru being near to thin veins. (And throughout the surgery, of course). 

If it bleeds it will have to be cauterized.

Your source also states:

>> Do not cauterize the very, as it can cause painful ejaculation later

So painful ejaculation is a very possible outcome of the surgery. 

Other risks include perforation of the urethra, bladder, prostate etc (either through the surgeon being too ambitious, accidents, or a rarely occuring reflex where the patient jumps during surgery), TUR syndrome (a sickness cause by a absorption of monopolar resection fluid), bleeding, anesthesia risks etc.

The cuts and cauterizations form scar tissue, which can get inflamed, infected, block your flow (life threatening), requiring further surgeries. 

Honestly given your surgeon has been instructed to "just fuck my shit up", and will be actively disregarding the standard guidelines, it probably raises the likelihood of complications, the 1/10 risk of impotence for example is definitely raised.

They are doing a lot of trauma to your urinary tract in your surgery, you could end up with abscesses (holes in your body with infection), strictures (scar tissue blocking flow of urine). Then you get more surgery and each time there more trauma and less anatomy to work with.  You could end up with a suprapubic catheter and never pee again or a diversion from your urethra out of your perineum (between your balls and asshole). You could end up with infections that spread to your bladder, kidneys and beyond. 

If all goes well with the surgery, you're still looking at potential long term health issues as a result of the changes to your voiding function. Your constant drip (if that is the outcome) would result in your bladder muscles atrophying, potentially cysts forming. When I've tried to look at cases where they've done as much work as your getting, it's usually for paralysed patients. In one study almost all of them progressed to a suprapubic catheter eventually. That transition is partly influenced by ease of management of their condition, but some of them will be because of failure of the lower urinary tract and a medical need to create a diversion. I'd have to read more to try and find out.

I hope you get the picture. No surgery is risk free, especially an elective do-harm surgery obliterating several key parts of an organ system supporting life. I'm not a doctor but I know enough about surgery to know it's incredibly complex and rarely perfect.  I'm a little worried for you, this is a big operation. I had a much more minor, and complication free urogenital operation (to fix testicle torsion) and it had a really big impact on my life. Months of inflammation, pain, to this day I'm not the same tbh. You're willingly submitting yourself to more trauma and risk, 

I don't think I ever used those words or gave a surgeon that instruction.  Why do you think he will disregard standard guidelines?  I don't think he will.

Yes, I got a picture.  I'll research the suprapubic catheter situations.  From what I can see they're optional.  If they're ending up as the only option for some people because of incontinence, I would like to know about that.

[superabsorbantpolymer]

5 hours ago, Reddy said:

Thanks Donaldo, I appreciate the likeness of our desire.  I will definitely keep you all updated post-op.  I'll put in my 2c for your list of concerns.

 

1. Side effects, especially the approx.. 10% risk of getting ED.

This one is maybe my biggest fear.  It's extremely important to me that I can continue to get erect and orgasm.  I am really trusting the surgeon when he says the risk is small, and nobody who got this surgery has had this issue before.  I do expect retrograde ejaculation, but I don't mind that.

2. I have type 2 diabetes, and combined with this surgery, kidneys are double-exposed to issues.

How does this surgery contribute to kidney risks?  Would it be in case of infections due to the surgery?  Or some other cause?  I don't have this concern, but maybe I do not understand it.

3. I get another injury that combined with this, makes diapered life horrible. (Think: loosing an arm, so you cant do diaper changes yourself)

Wow, I never considered that.  That sounds kind of amazing!  I would be totally required to have some kind of assistance, I think.  Unless I could manage it somehow.  I'm not as worried about this though.

4. My mind. I would be at the end of the road of a journey that lasted 40+ years. Its taken up a lot of space in my mind for so long. What will be next?

This is interesting.  I will find out soon!  I think I will have enough other things to pursue, but with the added happiness of being incontinent.  So I don't worry as much about this for now.

This is definitely just the beginning for you. You are (in addition to general "recovery" which is non trivial) instantly going to have an embarrassing, high maintenance disability that in my opinion you are entirely unprepared for.

Like how you say you don't want other people to know that you wear, or to leak. I speak from years of experience, discrete 24/7 is a skill that takes lots of practice and on a long enough time scale it is virtually impossible. Even if there is a 99% chance a diaper doesn't leak (let me know - I would buy that brand) by 500 diapers you'll have one leak with 99+% certainly (3-4 months).

All it takes is one mistimed diaper change, one kink in your urethra that's undone by standing (thereby incurring a flood), one in the product, a faulty leak guard, your dick pointing wrong, so many causes. You're going to leak in many public embarrassing ways. 

Then there's your appearance. When socializing, you'll have to choose between thin and thick diapers, both are sub optimal as thin diapers have higher leak incidence and thick diapers less discreet. You'll constantly be considering your wardrobe, your laundry levels for your clothes and onesies, all the associated products you require. You'll be bringing them everywhere and changing constantly. 

Anyone that is in close contact with you regularly is probably going to realize eventually, there's just too much to hide.

I have so many skills and life hacks for diapering 24/7 discretely that I've learned through living the lifestyle for months on end repeatedly over years. I have almost certainly been noticed by friends, family, coworkers, strangers many times and that's with a functioning urinary system. You're going to have to learn all those skills, on hard mode.

During some long stints of 24/7 I think I have experienced some of the same mental health issues that incontinent people go through tbh. Shame, embarrassment, fear of socializing, isolating. Being incontinent was really part of my identity and I couldn't go without my diapers so I only did things I was comfortable to do in my diapers without stress. You really won't be able to go without your diapers or catheter no matter how awkward. I expect you to go through difficult times even if you are happy overall with it. That can come and go over time, as your settings change. Don't be afraid to reach out to me at least when you do, even if the sayers of yay and nay don't want to hear about it haha

Edited January 24 by superabsorbantpolymer

[Reddy]

15 minutes ago, superabsorbantpolymer said:

This is definitely just the beginning for you. You are (in addition to general "recovery" which is non trivial) instantly going to have an embarrassing, high maintenance disability that in my opinion you are entirely unprepared for.

Like how you say you don't want other people to know that you wear, or to leak. I speak from years of experience, discrete 24/7 is a skill that takes lots of practice and on a long enough time scale it is virtually impossible. Even if there is a 99% chance a diaper doesn't leak (let me know - I would buy that brand) by 500 diapers you'll have one leak with 99+% certainly (3-4 months).

All it takes is one mistimed diaper change, one kink in your urethra that's undone by standing (thereby incurring a flood), one in the product, a faulty leak guard, your dick pointing wrong, so many causes. You're going to leak in many public embarrassing ways. 

Then there's your appearance. When socializing, you'll have to choose between thin and thick diapers, both are sub optimal as thin diapers have higher leak incidence and thick diapers less discreet. 

Anyone that is in close contact with you regularly is probably going to realize eventually, there's just too much to hide.

I have so many skills and life hacks for diapering 24/7 discretely that I've learned through living the lifestyle for months on end repeatedly over years. I have almost certainly been noticed by  friends, family, coworkers, strangers  many times and that's with a functioning urinary system that enables me to not pee anymore if my diapers about to leak.

I am okay with all this.  I just don't ever want a suprapubic catheter or any other complications.

21 minutes ago, superabsorbantpolymer said:

This is definitely just the beginning for you. You are (in addition to general "recovery" which is non trivial) instantly going to have an embarrassing, high maintenance disability that in my opinion you are entirely unprepared for.

Like how you say you don't want other people to know that you wear, or to leak. I speak from years of experience, discrete 24/7 is a skill that takes lots of practice and on a long enough time scale it is virtually impossible. Even if there is a 99% chance a diaper doesn't leak (let me know - I would buy that brand) by 500 diapers you'll have one leak with 99+% certainly (3-4 months).

All it takes is one mistimed diaper change, one kink in your urethra that's undone by standing (thereby incurring a flood), one in the product, a faulty leak guard, your dick pointing wrong, so many causes. You're going to leak in many public embarrassing ways. 

Then there's your appearance. When socializing, you'll have to choose between thin and thick diapers, both are sub optimal as thin diapers have higher leak incidence and thick diapers less discreet. You'll constantly be considering your wardrobe, your laundry levels for your clothes and onesies, all the associated products you require. You'll be bringing them everywhere and changing constantly. 

Anyone that is in close contact with you regularly is probably going to realize eventually, there's just too much to hide.

I have so many skills and life hacks for diapering 24/7 discretely that I've learned through living the lifestyle for months on end repeatedly over years. I have almost certainly been noticed by friends, family, coworkers, strangers many times and that's with a functioning urinary system. You're going to have to learn all those skills, on hard mode.

During some long stints of 24/7 I think I have experienced some of the same mental health issues that incontinent people go through tbh. Shame, embarrassment, fear of socializing, isolating. Being incontinent was really part of my identity and I couldn't go without my diapers so I only did things I was comfortable to do in my diapers without stress. You really won't be able to go without your diapers or catheter no matter how awkward. I expect you to go through difficult times even if you are happy overall with it. That can come and go over time, as your settings change. Don't be afraid to reach out to me at least when you do, even if the sayers of yay and nay don't want to hear about it haha

Thanks, I appreciate you offering that support.  It will probably be really challenging at first.  It will be a lot to get used to, very suddenly.

[superabsorbantpolymer]

46 minutes ago, Reddy said:

I don't think I ever used those words or gave a surgeon that instruction.  Why do you think he will disregard standard guidelines?  I don't think he will.

Yesterday you posted:

 

>>  The surgeon is supposed to take special care not to go outward past the veru because it's too close to the external sphincter, and any damage there risks permanent Incontinence. But I suppose we're gonna go right past that veru and resect the hell out of some sphincter muscle fibers

As you know from reading these sources, you aren't getting a standard surgery, he's giving you a combination of elements of these standard surgeries (turp, bladder neck incision etc) in the hopes that it makes you incontinent. Doing all of this at once, possible deviation from guidelines, and the intended outcome (incontinence) are not standard surgery. (sorry I was joking by "just fuck my shit up", but it's kinda what you're asking for)

 

Edited January 24 by superabsorbantpolymer

[Reddy]

24 minutes ago, superabsorbantpolymer said:

Yesterday you posted:

 

>>  The surgeon is supposed to take special care not to go outward past the veru because it's too close to the external sphincter, and any damage there risks permanent Incontinence. But I suppose we're gonna go right past that veru and resect the hell out of some sphincter muscle fibers

As you know from reading these sources, you aren't getting a standard surgery, he's giving you a combination of elements of these standard surgeries (turp, bladder neck incision etc) in the hopes that it makes you incontinent. Doing all of this at once, possible deviation from guidelines, and the intended outcome (incontinence) are not standard surgery. (sorry I was joking by "just fuck my shit up", but it's kinda what you're asking for)

Okay yeah, essentially that is true.  And I did say what I said, but which was different words though, and also I'm not going to tell him that.  I hope he will be careful though.  I'm still hoping and praying for a good recovery and healthy outcome.  That would be nice.

[superabsorbantpolymer]

Yeah same. Hope all goes well for you, just been reading into all this myself and wanted to dispel any misconception this was routine or low risk 

[Elfy]

I have to say I find the whole thing very intriguing. I personally never thought I'd see a surgeon who would willingly do this sort of surgery since it goes against the "do no harm" mantra which is very important. I would have concerns at how "legit" the surgeon is. It's kind of an oxymoron... If I wanted a surgery like this I don't know if I'd trust anyone willing to actually do it!

Personally I would love to be fitted with a little switch where I could turn continence on and off like a light

I think I'd be too concerned with side effects to go through with it myself. There was another member here once who really wanted either this type of surgery or one like it done but was struggling to find anyone in America who would go for it. As far as I remember he had all sorts of problems with his urinary system and many of them are the exact side effects you would be risking.

Not to mention ED and stuff like that. I'm a very sexual person, I wouldn't want to risk any of that sort of thing in any way. But then my need for diapers isn't as strong as others. Different priorities mean different paths to happiness.

I do think there is a good chance you could regret the surgery in the future. When the reality hits, when the shine wears off, when potential side effects cause pain or problems... but I also think you have considered them all and it your body, you should be free to do what you want with it. I know my girlfriend would be REALLY interested in a similar procedure.

So, I wish you the best of luck, I hope you get what you need from it and I'll be following the thread with curious interest

With a bit of luck maybe you can message me one day soon to move it from "Incontinence - Desires" to the "Incontinence - Medical forum"!

[Reddy]

8 hours ago, Elfy said:

With a bit of luck maybe you can message me one day soon to move it from "Incontinence - Desires" to the "Incontinence - Medical forum"!

Haha, true.  And I was already actually thinking in a couple weeks when I come out of surgery I could change the title from "Getting Surgery in Mexico" to "Got Surgery in Mexico" 😄

Oh actually I don't think I know how to change the title.  That's fine.

[Reddy]

I don't ever remember feeling such frustration for having to wait for something.  Not even summer vacation as a kid.

It's so crazy I was first thinking August for the surgery.  My consultation wasn't even originally scheduled to happen until Jan 29th. Then I moved my consultation to Jan 8th. Then I thought I could consider April or May for the surgery if I could get past anxiety about being incontinent for a road trip with my dad. Then I thought I was being really wild scheduling the surgery for March 20th. Now it's in two and a half weeks on Feb 12th. Lol.

[DAQ]

10 hours ago, Elfy said:

I have to say I find the whole thing very intriguing. I personally never thought I'd see a surgeon who would willingly do this sort of surgery since it goes against the "do no harm" mantra which is very important. I would have concerns at how "legit" the surgeon is. It's kind of an oxymoron... If I wanted a surgery like this I don't know if I'd trust anyone willing to actually do it!

Personally I would love to be fitted with a little switch where I could turn continence on and off like a light

I think I'd be too concerned with side effects to go through with it myself. There was another member here once who really wanted either this type of surgery or one like it done but was struggling to find anyone in America who would go for it. As far as I remember he had all sorts of problems with his urinary system and many of them are the exact side effects you would be risking.

Not to mention ED and stuff like that. I'm a very sexual person, I wouldn't want to risk any of that sort of thing in any way. But then my need for diapers isn't as strong as others. Different priorities mean different paths to happiness.

I do think there is a good chance you could regret the surgery in the future. When the reality hits, when the shine wears off, when potential side effects cause pain or problems... but I also think you have considered them all and it your body, you should be free to do what you want with it. I know my girlfriend would be REALLY interested in a similar procedure.

So, I wish you the best of luck, I hope you get what you need from it and I'll be following the thread with curious interest

With a bit of luck maybe you can message me one day soon to move it from "Incontinence - Desires" to the "Incontinence - Medical forum"!

It would be interesting to see/know how the procedure differs in women. Much shorter Urinary systems and 86 on the prostate.

[ValentinesStuff]

14 hours ago, Elfy said:

 

Personally I would love to be fitted with a little switch where I could turn continence on and off like a light

You could hook it up to a Clapper™. And "clap dry". "clap wet."😁

 

There was a while where there was a series of stories about control valves being used to cause uncontrollable wetting. 

[padded-nightly]

15 hours ago, Elfy said:

Personally I would love to be fitted with a little switch where I could turn continence on and off like a light

 

I would do that in a heartbeat.

Unfortunate fact is even though I've been wearing diapers almost daily for most of my life, I've lost absolutely no continence.

I recently took a trip where I was away for almost 8 weeks and for a few reasons chose not to bring/use any diapers. It's probably the longest I've been out of diapers since I was originally potty trained and before I started wearing again at around 12 or 13.

I was not at all worried about the daytime, since I regularly don't wear in the daytime, but, I've probably worn about 364 out of 365 nights in the past year so I was a bit worried about the overnights, but, I literally had not one accident in the entire time I was away!

I do wish I could experience actual incontinence again and (with all due respect to the pioneers in the field like @cathdiap) stents seem risky to me (even riskier than the surgery here!).

Maybe some day the technology like the memokath or similar will evolve to the point where we can have that on-off switch. I'd be there in a heartbest.

[MinnesotaWriter]

I bit the bullet and finally clicked the link to this topic. Wishing I hadn't. But it's like a trainwreck, I wasn't able to look away from any of the seven pages.

All I can say is that I greatly hope this is some attempt at elaborate trolling, but the alternative just makes me want to scream.

A unique surgery in another country, with no clear picture of what the risks/complications are, unclear plans for post surgery care, and of course you aren't able to tell friends/family easily if something goes wrong. Worse of all, you haven't ever actually fully committed to the lifestyle of wearing diapers full time before.

I'm generally of the belief that if someone is an adult, and their behavior isn't directly/indirectly harming anyone else, that they should be able to do as they please. I'm not saying you don't legally have the right to do this. I am saying I legally have the right to describe exactly how recklessly stupid it is.

If there is one really important lesson I've learned with kink stuff, be it ABDL, DDLG, other other BDSM things, it is this:

Fantasy is not the same as reality. It is one thing to fantasize about doing something, especially something close to 24/7, it is a whole different thing to be doing it (especially if you are locked into it with no way out). Moderation is often far better.

If committing to wearing diapers 24/7 voluntarily hasn't been satisfactory for you, then forced incontinence is only going to bring you grief.

Seriously, you need to reconsider this. If you, for example, had been wearing diapers full time already for like a year, I'd probably say whatever, but the lack of prior commitment, combined with all the other potential risks, just makes this look like the bad beginnings of some old ABDL story written a couple decades ago in the early stages of the internet.

[Reddy]

8 minutes ago, MinnesotaWriter said:

I bit the bullet and finally clicked the link to this topic. Wishing I hadn't. But it's like a trainwreck, I wasn't able to look away from any of the seven pages.

All I can say is that I greatly hope this is some attempt at elaborate trolling, but the alternative just makes me want to scream.

A unique surgery in another country, with no clear picture of what the risks/complications are, unclear plans for post surgery care, and of course you aren't able to tell friends/family easily if something goes wrong. Worse of all, you haven't ever actually fully committed to the lifestyle of wearing diapers full time before.

I'm generally of the belief that if someone is an adult, and their behavior isn't directly/indirectly harming anyone else, that they should be able to do as they please. I'm not saying you don't legally have the right to do this. I am saying I legally have the right to describe exactly how recklessly stupid it is.

If there is one really important lesson I've learned with kink stuff, be it ABDL, DDLG, other other BDSM things, it is this:

Fantasy is not the same as reality. It is one thing to fantasize about doing something, especially something close to 24/7, it is a whole different thing to be doing it (especially if you are locked into it with no way out). Moderation is often far better.

If committing to wearing diapers 24/7 voluntarily hasn't been satisfactory for you, then forced incontinence is only going to bring you grief.

Seriously, you need to reconsider this. If you, for example, had been wearing diapers full time already for like a year, I'd probably say whatever, but the lack of prior commitment, combined with all the other potential risks, just makes this look like the bad beginnings of some old ABDL story written a couple decades ago in the early stages of the internet.

Nope it's not trolling.

I don't think you really know this is going to bring me grief.  You are just guessing about that.

I just don't think you understand the situation.  That makes you stupid, not me.  I'm not interested in wearing diapers voluntarily.  If I was I would have done that.  I think it would make me feel weird and not worth it.  The only way I'm going to follow through on wearing diapers every day is if I have to.  That's why I need the surgery.  If you don't understand it's not my problem.

[MinnesotaWriter]

3 minutes ago, Reddy said:

Nope it's not trolling.

I don't think you really know this is going to bring me grief.  You are just guessing about that.

I just don't think you understand the situation.  That makes you stupid, not me.  I'm not interested in wearing diapers voluntarily.  If I was I would have done that.  I think it would make me feel weird and not worth it.  The only way I'm going to follow through on wearing diapers every day is if I have to.  That's why I need the surgery.  If you don't understand it's not my problem.

You're right. The surgery could go off without a hitch. You could completely enjoy your new state of being incontinent.

I also think there are some common sense precautions you should be undertaking if you still want to do this.

You really need to wear diapers 24/7 for at least a month, if not two. I understand that doesn't interest you. That is beside the point.

Incontinence is uncomfortable and difficult to deal with.

You will have to make a massive amount of adjustments to your life and lifestyle. There are the physical issues of wearing 24/7. Rashes, chaffing, excessive sweating in summer heat, urinary tract infections.

There are lifestyle adjustments depending on whether you plan to be open about this medical condition or hiding it. You'll need to change how you dress, plan out your entire day around being able to change when you need to. There will be leaks in public. There will be awkward moments with friends and strangers. There will be events and activities that will become either inaccessible or difficult for you to do. This is going to completely and utterly change your life.

You may think that is what you want, and that it your right to do so. Like I said, I support your right to make the decision, even if I disagree with it.

But it is one thing to theoretically consider all the issues with incontinence in your head. It is something entirely different to experience it.

That is why I really think it would be best for you to wearing diapers for a significant period of time before you go ahead with this surgery. You need to experience a lot of the hardships that come with incontinence firsthand before you flip a switch that you will never be able to undo.

And you know what, if you are happy after that trial period, then by all means, go ahead with the surgery. It has risks, but at least you're prepared for what it is going to do to your life.

That's my main objection to this. And two cents of advice for anyone considering doing something similar. If you are going to make an irreversible life decision, at least do the due diligence to understand how it is going to impact you.

[superabsorbantpolymer]

25 minutes ago, MinnesotaWriter said:

You're right. The surgery could go off without a hitch. You could completely enjoy your new state of being incontinent.

I also think there are some common sense precautions you should be undertaking if you still want to do this.

You really need to wear diapers 24/7 for at least a month, if not two. I understand that doesn't interest you. That is beside the point.

Incontinence is uncomfortable and difficult to deal with.

You will have to make a massive amount of adjustments to your life and lifestyle. There are the physical issues of wearing 24/7. Rashes, chaffing, excessive sweating in summer heat, urinary tract infections.

There are lifestyle adjustments depending on whether you plan to be open about this medical condition or hiding it. You'll need to change how you dress, plan out your entire day around being able to change when you need to. There will be leaks in public. There will be awkward moments with friends and strangers. There will be events and activities that will become either inaccessible or difficult for you to do. This is going to completely and utterly change your life.

You may think that is what you want, and that it your right to do so. Like I said, I support your right to make the decision, even if I disagree with it.

But it is one thing to theoretically consider all the issues with incontinence in your head. It is something entirely different to experience it.

That is why I really think it would be best for you to wearing diapers for a significant period of time before you go ahead with this surgery. You need to experience a lot of the hardships that come with incontinence firsthand before you flip a switch that you will never be able to undo.

And you know what, if you are happy after that trial period, then by all means, go ahead with the surgery. It has risks, but at least you're prepared for what it is going to do to your life.

That's my main objection to this. And two cents of advice for anyone considering doing something similar. If you are going to make an irreversible life decision, at least do the due diligence to understand how it is going to impact you.

I agree 100%. Honestly reddy I know you think you can't wait but I really think your outcome would be better if you postponed a few months and went 24/7. It also gives you time to build up a more plausible backstory (complain of symptoms to friends family, pretend to manage different ways but gradually grow your dependency. Then it's more understandable why you're going to be incontinent when you do get the surgery.

But regardless of your specific case, If I were a psychiatrist/surgeon type drawing up guidelines for a surgery to be available legitimately (tbh the Overton window of medical ethics seems to be constantly liberalizing, maybe some day it will be advisable), I'd say patients would need a few thousand hours of continuous diapering to actually understand what they're signing up for. 

This feels like an impulse decision, everything is so rushed. You're not ready, reddy (sorry for the pun)

[padded-nightly]

I'm really disappointed with all of the people in this thread who are judging @Reddy for his choices.

We would all do well to remember that there are people outside our community who look at all of us like freaks who do disgusting things.  Frankly there are things in or adjacent to this community which I'm not a fan of and I manage to keep my mouth shut about it.

Just because you wouldn't do what Reddy is doing doesn't mean that what he is doing is wrong. Just because you're convinced he will regret his choices doesn't mean he will, doesn't mean you need to say it here and definitely doesn't mean you need to act like you're going to celebrate when he inevitably regrets his choices or has some complication. It seems like some of you are cheering for Reddy to develop a complication from the surgery and it's horrible.

Please don't forget where and who we are. We are a community of freaks, just because someone is a bit more freaky than you are doesn't make them wrong. We are all wrong in the eyes of most of the world.

 

Judge not lest ye be judged.

On 1/23/2024 at 7:07 PM, Reddy said:

Wow, I never considered that.  That sounds kind of amazing!  I would be totally required to have some kind of assistance, I think.  Unless I could manage it somehow.  I'm not as worried about this though.

 

LOL, I never thought you would reply like that when I read the original message

[superabsorbantpolymer]

I'm not judging, as I've said before I hope everything goes well and ultimately I respect his decision. I think I've tried to give honest, respectful advice and warnings based on my knowledge and experience. At the end of the day, I and many other here who may come across as "judging" get where he's coming from to some extent, we just have tested our fantasy a bit more in the real world and felt the thorns on the rose.

But yeah no judgement, surgery or not we are all freaks here ❤️🚼

[MinnesotaWriter]

26 minutes ago, padded-nightly said:

I'm really disappointed with all of the people in this thread who are judging @Reddy for his choices.

We would all do well to remember that there are people outside our community who look at all of us like freaks who do disgusting things.  Frankly there are things in or adjacent to this community which I'm not a fan of and I manage to keep my mouth shut about it.

Just because you wouldn't do what Reddy is doing doesn't mean that what he is doing is wrong. Just because you're convinced he will regret his choices doesn't mean he will, doesn't mean you need to say it here and definitely doesn't mean you need to act like you're going to celebrate when he inevitably regrets his choices or has some complication. It seems like some of you are cheering for Reddy to develop a complication from the surgery and it's horrible.

Please don't forget where and who we are. We are a community of freaks, just because someone is a bit more freaky than you are doesn't make them wrong. We are all wrong in the eyes of most of the world.

 

Judge not lest ye be judged.

LOL, I never thought you would reply like that when I read the original message

I'm disappointed by the people who are enabling what is, by any objective standard, a really poorly thought-out decision by Reddy.

If Reddy had started his first post by saying that he had been wearing diapers 24/7 for a year and was tired of being continent and wanted to do the surgery, the situation would be a lot different. Yes, it would stlil be risky, but at least it would be clear that he knows exactly what he wants and how it woudl change and impact his life (and as an adult, can decide if the risk is worth it).

But he doesn't know if the risk is worth it, because he has refused to take the very simple step of actually experiencing what it would be like to wear diapers for a significant time. That's what both frustrates and puzzles me about this situation.

Yes, we are all freaks, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't act out our freakish fantasies with at least some level of common sense and due diligence. 

---
"Just not lest ye be judged." 

I dislike that phrase when it's being used as an attempt to deflect from valid criticism of a poor decision because the idea decision isn't actually defensible.

(As someone raised in a conservative environment who had to suffer through way too many lessons on theology, I'll refrain from a full exegesis on that passage of scripture. Suffice it to say, it doesn't mean don't judge; it just means that you shouldn't be hypocritical in doing so, and you should hold yourself to the same standards as you hold others. i.e. take the plank out of your own eye first)

[padded-nightly]

3 minutes ago, MinnesotaWriter said:

I'm disappointed by the people who are enabling what is, by any objective standard, a really poorly thought-out decision by Reddy.

Exactly this. It's not "any objective standard," it's "in your opinion." Stop judging people.

[superabsorbantpolymer]

He's pushed the surgery forward a few times, is saying a few weeks is too long and he's not had any 24/7 experience.  At the end of the day sure it's subjective but I think if you try to approach it from a "minimize possible regret" methodology, I agree it's objectively poorly though out. I'm not judging him for that, if anything I'm trying to help him think through this all. 

 

 

 

Edited January 25 by superabsorbantpolymer