Getting Surgery in Mexico

[Diapered Dave]

On 12/16/2024 at 5:37 PM, Living Curious said:

I just got a reply from my therapist. It's not secure messaging so she just acknowledged the email and said we'll talk about it next session.

But now it's all out there for her. This is pretty big for me. 

So have you had another session since this post?  Just curious what your therapist's point of view is...

[Reddy]

Im not in a diaper.  Its nice to take a break sometimes.  And feel normal.  But my pants and bed are wet now.  Its probably gonna be really soon that im in a diaper again.  But it was interesting being out of a diaper for a while.

[foreverdl]

59 minutes ago, Reddy said:

Im not in a diaper.  Its nice to take a break sometimes.  And feel normal.  But my pants and bed are wet now.  Its probably gonna be really soon that im in a diaper again.  But it was interesting being out of a diaper for a while.

I Love being in my diapers 24/7, but it would be a really cool thing to finally get my extra room mattress setup with the stuff so I can enjoy sleeping without a diaper and let it flood , sleep and enjoy.........Since I sleep in my recliner I still have to have the protection so I don't pee smell it up... I need to sleep sitting up because of my health issues ...

[Diapered Dave]

1 hour ago, Reddy said:

Im not in a diaper.  Its nice to take a break sometimes.  And feel normal.  But my pants and bed are wet now.  Its probably gonna be really soon that im in a diaper again.  But it was interesting being out of a diaper for a while.

Were you just relaxing in bed without a diaper, or did you go to bed to sleep, and woke up wet? Do you have a plastic sheet on your bed?

Now that you've been in diapers for about a year, is your diaper usage about what you expected it would be?  (Are you using more or less diapers per day, than you thought you would...) Do you try to get the maximum use out of each diaper, wearing them until almost leaking?  Do you ever wear plastic pants over your diapers? Any use of cloth diapers?

And have you ever tried the penis clamps that were mentioned here some months ago?

Sorry for all the questions, just interested in whether your expectations are meeting your reality.

[Reddy]

3 hours ago, Diapered Dave said:

Were you just relaxing in bed without a diaper, or did you go to bed to sleep, and woke up wet? Do you have a plastic sheet on your bed?

Now that you've been in diapers for about a year, is your diaper usage about what you expected it would be?  (Are you using more or less diapers per day, than you thought you would...) Do you try to get the maximum use out of each diaper, wearing them until almost leaking?  Do you ever wear plastic pants over your diapers? Any use of cloth diapers?

And have you ever tried the penis clamps that were mentioned here some months ago?

Sorry for all the questions, just interested in whether your expectations are meeting your reality.

I was just relaxing in bed after dinner.

I use about as many diapers as I expected.  3 or 4 diapers every 24 hours.  I don't really try to get maximum use out of each diaper, it just happens because I don't realize I need to change until I need to change.  I don't wear plastic pants or cloth diapers.  Although I'm not opposed to it.  But I don't.

I have never tried the penis clamps.

[Dribbler247]

So you never feel that you 'need to pee' any more?

 

[Reddy]

12 minutes ago, Dribbler247 said:

So you never feel that you 'need to pee' any more?

 

Yes I do.  Because I sit down at my job.

[Dribbler247]

At which point you stand, and the flow starts? Or could you actually hold it for a period of time?

[longislandguy]

He has no way of holding it so I’d imagine it just flows. Probably the only time he has anything close to a flood. 

[PeterLupus]

On 2/7/2025 at 7:56 PM, Reddy said:

Yes I do.  Because I sit down at my job.

Are there other times when you can feel your bladder filling? If yes, what are they?

[Reddy]

11 hours ago, Dribbler247 said:

At which point you stand, and the flow starts? Or could you actually hold it for a period of time?

I can hold the bulk of it a little while but drips and drops start to come out.  I used to go to the bathroom when I felt full.  But I had too many times where it just soaked my pants.  Not worth it to get just part of it in the urinal after mostly filling diaper anyway.

10 hours ago, longislandguy said:

He has no way of holding it so I’d imagine it just flows. Probably the only time he has anything close to a flood. 

I never flood because my stream is too weak and even if I push it comes out slowly.  So even if my bladder is really full if I start walking around it just slowly drips into my diaper.

6 hours ago, PeterLupus said:

Are there other times when you can feel your bladder filling? If yes, what are they?

It only fills after sitting down and after sleeping in bed.  If I am consistently walking then my bladder doesn't fill up as fast as the dribbles empty it so in those cases I never feel my bladder, just feeling a wetter and wetter diaper.

[PeterLupus]

17 hours ago, Reddy said:

On 2/9/2025 at 7:31 AM, PeterLupus said:

Are there other times when you can feel your bladder filling? If yes, what are they?

It only fills after sitting down and after sleeping in bed.  If I am consistently walking then my bladder doesn't fill up as fast as the dribbles empty it so in those cases I never feel my bladder, just feeling a wetter and wetter diaper.

Thank you for that.

With my OAB symptoms (ie really annoying and very distracting feeling of urgency), the question about feeling your bladder is important to me. You wrote that you can feel your bladder after sleeping in bed. Does that mean that it does not continuously drain while you sleep? What have you observed?

Thank you.

[Reddy]

On 2/10/2025 at 9:46 AM, PeterLupus said:

Thank you for that.

With my OAB symptoms (ie really annoying and very distracting feeling of urgency), the question about feeling your bladder is important to me. You wrote that you can feel your bladder after sleeping in bed. Does that mean that it does not continuously drain while you sleep? What have you observed?

Thank you.

Yes that's correct.  It does not continuously drain while I sleep.  I have to wear a diaper to bed because my pants and bed will start to get really wet before I fall asleep, because even while lying down I pee with movements, with large intakes of breath, with coughing, sneezing, etc.  But it fills up overnight or when I'm sitting for a long time.

But overall in my life, I feel the need to pee a lot less.  If I'm up and about my bladder never fills, my diaper just gets wetter.  It's not worth it to try to make it to the bathroom because my diaper is always getting wetter no matter what.  And my stream is so weak it would take a long time if I went to the bathroom and I would mostly drip everywhere and on my pants (it's hard to push enough to make pee go outward at all).  And then, if I do feel any urgency, which I haven't for a long time, it's not uncomfortable because I would have peed long before I got that full.

I remember constantly having to go to the bathroom so often all day long.  Now that is just not part of my life.  And that's kinda nice.

[secretdesire]

14 hours ago, Reddy said:

I remember constantly having to go to the bathroom so often all day long.  Now that is just not part of my life.  And that's kinda nice.

I don't think "normal" people would understand how maddening that feeling is to constantly have to pee. Even if you can hold it well past that initial warning, having that constantly nagging feeling is so disruptive in every aspect of life. You give in and go to the bathroom which just reduces the time of the feedback loop (OAB makes OAB worse over time). Going 24/7 in diapers was so freeing that I don't even care anymore about being completely incontinent.

[hvb22]

On 2/8/2025 at 4:44 AM, Dribbler247 said:

So you never feel that you 'need to pee' any more?

 

On 2/9/2025 at 4:31 PM, PeterLupus said:

Are there other times when you can feel your bladder filling? If yes, what are they?

On 2/13/2025 at 5:39 PM, secretdesire said:

I don't think "normal" people would understand how maddening that feeling is to constantly have to pee. Even if you can hold it well past that initial warning, having that constantly nagging feeling is so disruptive in every aspect of life. You give in and go to the bathroom which just reduces the time of the feedback loop (OAB makes OAB worse over time). Going 24/7 in diapers was so freeing that I don't even care anymore about being completely incontinent.

I hate the sensation of a full bladder. I had contacted Dr. A before I found this website. I asked if he could do surgery that would drain all urine immediately once it's produced (zero storage capacity of the bladder). He told me it's possible. But we have learned from the people who had the surgery that they all have some degree of bladder control, feel it filling up, and in some cases even go to the toilet to pee. So my conclusion is that the surgery will make you diaper dependent, but doesn't help those of us who want a completely empty bladder.

[MiddleBro]

This whole topic has been such an interesting and insightful read. I’m finally caught up! Thank you, @Reddy (and @BrownBobby) for letting us go on this journey with you and including all the ups and downs. 
 

I’ve been into diapers for as long as I can remember and have HATED this kink and this side of me. I’ve given myself more grace over the years but still can’t help but feel like a fraud (I’m more into DL and incontinence realism than AB). I’ve often thought if I needed diapers then it would give me a reason, a permission, to wear. 
 

I have become a bedwetter with moderate and conditional success but could stop it at any time. I felt like becoming a bedwetter and “needing” diapers was a nice half way point for me, considering my active lifestyle. I have done 24/7 stints before, and about to do one again, but in the warm summers when I’m hiking I’m glad I’m not incontinent. 

I totally understand the weight being lifted after coming clean about your incontinence to your friends and family. I had a conversation with my sibling that unexpectedly allowed for an opening to discuss my bedwetting and I might just take it. It would be so much easier not to worry about hiding things or getting caught whenever I visit and stay at their house. 
 

@Reddy, your feelings and journey have really stirred something in me. I’m not far from Mexico either- but not hastily making any plans as of now. My other kinks, big bulges, underwear, and chastity, all keep each other in check. It’s quite the dichotomy of kinks, which are all equally fun and equally frustrating at times. 
 

In summary, I’m very happy for you! And you validated feelings that I’ve had for years. I never knew other people felt the way I did. Thanks again for sharing! Would you mind terribly answering more questions?

- How has your day to day changed?

- how do you carry changes while you’re out? Do you have a diaper bag?

- What’s your skin care process look like? 

- Any new unexpected challenges you’ve encountered and conquered?

- How is your sexual health now? Do you know if @BrownBobby experienced issues?

- Have you been on dates or intimate with anyone? Any advice? 

- Is there anything you wish you knew before becoming incontinent/advice or warnings you’d give someone?

[PeterLupus]

On 2/12/2025 at 5:33 PM, Reddy said:

I remember constantly having to go to the bathroom so often all day long.  Now that is just not part of my life.  And that's kinda nice.

Here is the key sentence. Thank you.

[PeterLupus]

On 2/13/2025 at 5:39 PM, secretdesire said:

I don't think "normal" people would understand how maddening that feeling is to constantly have to pee.

This.

[Squeaky Bearsies]

On 1/24/2025 at 7:10 PM, superabsorbantpolymer said:

Yeah I hope @Peeleedoesn't have as severe sexual side effects as reddy, since he didn't have his prostate operated on. Hopefully he continues to update us, I wish him all the best. 🙏 

@BobbyBrownhad a piecemeal approach to the dismantling of his continence, but iirc he first only had his bladder neck operated on, and then later his prostate and external urinary sphincter? So there's no guarantee of total incontinence until you have all three knocked out. Although he had a strong need to wear protection even before the final surgery. (Correct me if I got the details wrong!)

Personally, I would ideally just impair my external urinary sphincter. I want the sensation of urge incontinence, rather than a constant drip. And I'd rather not disturb my prostate unless it's medically necessary so as to preserve sexual functions. I'm no expert so there might be better ways of approaching that, if I ever decide to take the plunge.

Me as well if they can't preserve my sexual functions it's a no go for me! I still think it's bs they can't just disable the external urinary spinchter! And I don't want to be 100% incontinent anyway. I don't want constant dribbling or completely empty bladder like some people want here  I just want some kind of incontinence so I have medical reason to wear diapers. So what if I only got my external spnichter removed?..... And not mess with my bladder neck, prostate, or internal spinchter. Would that cause any sexual issues?  Hell if I wanted more incontinence I could just finish with going 24/7 diapers training after the surgery. It's not worth making myself sterile and not being able to have erections. But at least getting the external spinchter removed only makes it alot easier to start the 24/7 diapers training process if you wanted the constant drip...

[superabsorbantpolymer]

21 hours ago, Squeaky Bearsies said:

Me as well if they can't preserve my sexual functions it's a no go for me! I still think it's bs they can't just disable the external urinary spinchter! And I don't want to be 100% incontinent anyway. I don't want constant dribbling or completely empty bladder like some people want here  I just want some kind of incontinence so I have medical reason to wear diapers. So what if I only got my external spnichter removed?..... And not mess with my bladder neck, prostate, or internal spinchter. Would that cause any sexual issues?  Hell if I wanted more incontinence I could just finish with going 24/7 diapers training after the surgery. It's not worth making myself sterile and not being able to have erections. But at least getting the external spinchter removed only makes it alot easier to start the 24/7 diapers training process if you wanted the constant drip...

For sure, I don't think it needs to be an all or nothing approach. I think it would be a good idea to try the external sphincter first. That + diaper training would probably leave you pretty diaper dependent. 

[BrownBobby]

I'm thinking it's best I write a dedicated post summarizing it, but now that I'm nine months after my revision and almost two years after the first surgery, I wanted to just chime in again to say that I am absolutely, 100% happy with how things are for me now.  Besides retrograde ejaculation, there's been almost no effect to my sexual function, and the stricture is now to the point where I only need to cath every 2-3 weeks to keep it from closing up again.  All in all, I'd trade those in a heartbeat to be where I am now, a full-time pantswetter with no hope in hell of staying dry without another surgical intervention.

For those trying to look at "But what if you just remove part of it" as a solution, let me caution you immediately that down those roads lie madness.  If you want to hope you're the lucky 1 in 3 who first has any results from surgery, and then has those results stay for any significant length of time...then go for it.  My original external sphincterotomy did almost nothing, and focusing on just the bladder neck and external sphincter was only a partial success. It took all three to get me here, but now that I'm here...I'm thrilled.

If there are specific questions, feel free to ask away, but I'm basically happy to get to just...have incontinence be something I get to enjoy for the rest of my life as I deal with everything else.

[Diapered Dave]

Good to hear from you again, BrownBobby!!

Glad to hear that everything is still going good with diaper-dependence!  Now that you have been peeing pretty freely for over 9 months, is it about what you expected, as far as diaper usage?? Using more or fewer diapers than you planned?  Do you ever use cloth diapers and plastic pants to cut down on costs?

[foreverdl]

6 hours ago, BrownBobby said:

I'm thinking it's best I write a dedicated post summarizing it, but now that I'm nine months after my revision and almost two years after the first surgery, I wanted to just chime in again to say that I am absolutely, 100% happy with how things are for me now.  Besides retrograde ejaculation, there's been almost no effect to my sexual function, and the stricture is now to the point where I only need to cath every 2-3 weeks to keep it from closing up again.  All in all, I'd trade those in a heartbeat to be where I am now, a full-time pantswetter with no hope in hell of staying dry without another surgical intervention.

For those trying to look at "But what if you just remove part of it" as a solution, let me caution you immediately that down those roads lie madness.  If you want to hope you're the lucky 1 in 3 who first has any results from surgery, and then has those results stay for any significant length of time...then go for it.  My original external sphincterotomy did almost nothing, and focusing on just the bladder neck and external sphincter was only a partial success. It took all three to get me here, but now that I'm here...I'm thrilled.

If there are specific questions, feel free to ask away, but I'm basically happy to get to just...have incontinence be something I get to enjoy for the rest of my life as I deal with everything else.

Hi, I haven't followed this real regularly , I first of all am very glad for your success . you say you use the Cath every 2-3 weeks so after both operations , the Cath is to keep them open?  And when you do masterbate do you get pee in it also? I have leakage as part of wearing for a lot of yrs 24/7, and having slow success , but I will have some pee mixed in. I can't control my pee leaks just after I cum, or when it feels like I cum, I will pee within seconds. Just trying to see if there's any difference in surgery or the weakening of muscles.  Again if I could I would love to do the surgery ..

[superabsorbantpolymer]

On 2/12/2025 at 5:33 PM, Reddy said:

Yes that's correct.  It does not continuously drain while I sleep.  I have to wear a diaper to bed because my pants and bed will start to get really wet before I fall asleep, because even while lying down I pee with movements, with large intakes of breath, with coughing, sneezing, etc.  But it fills up overnight or when I'm sitting for a long time.

But overall in my life, I feel the need to pee a lot less.  If I'm up and about my bladder never fills, my diaper just gets wetter.  It's not worth it to try to make it to the bathroom because my diaper is always getting wetter no matter what.  And my stream is so weak it would take a long time if I went to the bathroom and I would mostly drip everywhere and on my pants (it's hard to push enough to make pee go outward at all).  And then, if I do feel any urgency, which I haven't for a long time, it's not uncomfortable because I would have peed long before I got that full.

I remember constantly having to go to the bathroom so often all day long.  Now that is just not part of my life.  And that's kinda nice.

It's been a while @Reddy how are you doing? Sorry don't want to pressure you just want to make sure you're ok!

[nappymelb]

After hearing about this discussion on another group. I had previous surgery with Dr Ivan in September 2023. I have since found out MTC does this surgery so I have a preliminary booking for the first week in October. My experience with  MTC staff as well as the recovery center (Tijuana)was amazing. I have no concerns about getting this new procedure done. I have worn 24/7 for a long time. I also have been trying to be cathed almost constantly as a practice run. At present the currency fluxuations with the AUD- USD is adding to costs. But I am watching this to hopefully pay the deposit at an improved rate.