Getting Surgery in Mexico

[DAQ]

4 hours ago, Reddy said:

Hi Everybody, I'm sorry for being absent, work was busy and then I spent the whole weekend out at my parents.  I got blocked up pretty bad during the week, but I associated it to restarting caffeine and quit that again yesterday (I even noticed my tight esophagus was much worse the days I was on caffeine).  I also used a catheter here and there just to pee, and then for a few hours at a time too.  Dr. Ivan said to go back to a catheter if I'm blocked, and also that we might need to see if I have developed a urethral stricture.  Obviously I don't know, but I feel pretty sure I have the stricture.  Over the weekend at my parents house I was blocked multiple times in the night and used a catheter once or twice.  Since the afternoon I've been back at my apartment.  Not wearing diapers.  Just relaxing in boxers.  Nothing is leaking whatsoever.  I want to find out about the stricture and also might ask Dr. Ivan about another surgery.  But first I'll see how the next days go.

Thank you for being open about the problems and/or complications that have occurred post op.  While I am rooting for you and the option it presents, I think being realistic is important.

[boyhood]

Sorry if this was mentioned earlier on in the thread Reddy but I'm curious to hear if you told your folks about the surgery? Do they know that you are diaper (or in this case catheter) dependent right now or were you able to (or intend to) hide that from them and your friends? So you have managed to just wear regular clothes with no risk of leaking right now? Sending best wishes your way and hoping the cath opens things back up for you.

[michael1538]

I have a friend that had prostate surgery for an enlarged prostate. It was to open up the urethra. Well he developed scar tissue that blocked off the passage for urine and he had to catheter himself just to go. He had another procedure and that resulted in more scar tissue. Eventually he found a doctor that inserted a stent that was medicated to reduce the swelling and scar tissues. This has worked out very good for him and he is back to peeing normally again. I mention this just in case you are having scar tissue or something blocking your urethra and need a procedure to open it up again. 

My doctor wants to do a procedure on me because of the enlarged prostate problems. So far I am resisting but starting to think about it. I wear diapers and pee whenever I feel a build up, even if it is only a dribble. If I could get snipped to make me dribble all the time, I would probably go for it.

I think about your decision all the time and hope everything works out great for you

[superabsorbantpolymer]

You mention how since you've been blocked up you've been wearing boxers, don't you think you should wear a diaper just in case you bladder pressure overcomes the blockage? 

[Diapered Dave]

4 minutes ago, superabsorbantpolymer said:

You mention how since you've been blocked up you've been wearing boxers, don't you think you should wear a diaper just in case you bladder pressure overcomes the blockage? 

At one point, a while back, he was using a catheter with a shut-off valve on the end, so he could pee in the toilet when he wanted. He might be back to that setup.

[superabsorbantpolymer]

When I do that setup, I need to wear a pull up. Any time I cough or sneeze I leak around the catheter (stress incontinence). I get a little yellow patch where my penis and catheter have been resting against my pullup.

[BrownBobby]

I personally have found it invaluable to do so - a diaper makes a lot easier, even if it's not draining into it.  Heck, even makes recovering from surgery easier. The nurses in my stricture removal were impressed I had planned to wear a "brief" out - they're used to having to talk people into it over whatever "mesh underwear with pads" would count as.

[Reddy]

23 hours ago, Diapered Dave said:

Well, that SUCKS!!!  Ok, let's look at the bright side... You're saving on diaper use!  Hmm... Nope, it still sucks!

So  I wonder  if  wearing a larger size  catheter for a few  days,  or week,  will compress a stricture for a while??  Didn't BrownBobby use a catheter for his stricture? 

I just put in a 18fr foley which is the largest cath I have done so far since the surgery.  With the valve thing.  So maybe I will use that for a while since it's better than not peeing.

 

21 hours ago, superabsorbantpolymer said:

Wow, sorry to hear that. so now you are only peeing via intermittent cath? You should get seen, maybe it's time to call the urologist you got the referral to? 

May as well keep a cath in at this point so as to keep things stretched.

I made an appointment just now and also messaged my pcp.  The first appointment I got was not until late April but maybe things will get better by then, in case this is just swelling, or else by using caths to stretch out.

20 hours ago, DAQ said:

Thank you for being open about the problems and/or complications that have occurred post op.  While I am rooting for you and the option it presents, I think being realistic is important.

Thank you, I agree being open is good.  Now if only my urethra also agreed to being more open.

17 hours ago, boyhood said:

Sorry if this was mentioned earlier on in the thread Reddy but I'm curious to hear if you told your folks about the surgery? Do they know that you are diaper (or in this case catheter) dependent right now or were you able to (or intend to) hide that from them and your friends? So you have managed to just wear regular clothes with no risk of leaking right now? Sending best wishes your way and hoping the cath opens things back up for you.

I haven't told my parents yet.  I just visited them for the entire weekend.  I wore diapers the entire time but progressively stopped wetting them.

I wore regular clothes last night and tonight at home, but I still wear a diaper at work because I wouldn't want something to suddenly shift and then I wet my pants or something.

10 hours ago, michael1538 said:

I have a friend that had prostate surgery for an enlarged prostate. It was to open up the urethra. Well he developed scar tissue that blocked off the passage for urine and he had to catheter himself just to go. He had another procedure and that resulted in more scar tissue. Eventually he found a doctor that inserted a stent that was medicated to reduce the swelling and scar tissues. This has worked out very good for him and he is back to peeing normally again. I mention this just in case you are having scar tissue or something blocking your urethra and need a procedure to open it up again. 

My doctor wants to do a procedure on me because of the enlarged prostate problems. So far I am resisting but starting to think about it. I wear diapers and pee whenever I feel a build up, even if it is only a dribble. If I could get snipped to make me dribble all the time, I would probably go for it.

I think about your decision all the time and hope everything works out great for you

That sounds great, what kind of stent was it?  Not optilume?

Thank you for the well wishes!  I'm glad my procedure had an impression on you and thank you for thinking about it.

1 hour ago, superabsorbantpolymer said:

You mention how since you've been blocked up you've been wearing boxers, don't you think you should wear a diaper just in case you bladder pressure overcomes the blockage? 

I definitely wear a diaper still if I leave my apartment.  I am too afraid of a surprise.  But at home it's just boxers.

1 hour ago, Diapered Dave said:

At one point, a while back, he was using a catheter with a shut-off valve on the end, so he could pee in the toilet when he wanted. He might be back to that setup.

I am, just in the last half hour.  It feels more comfortable than it did in the past, maybe because I'm otherwise much more healed and feel almost normal (even a week ago, I was completely different, still sore...)

1 hour ago, superabsorbantpolymer said:

When I do that setup, I need to wear a pull up. Any time I cough or sneeze I leak around the catheter (stress incontinence). I get a little yellow patch where my penis and catheter have been resting against my pullup.

That happened to me with the 14fr foley pretty bad.  Back in Mexico I was at the toilet trying to get the catheter plug out and my bladder decided it wanted to empty and everything gushed out on the sides of the catheter.

Hopefully the 18fr I have in now will not do that, but I'll still wear a diaper over it at work just in case that happens or the valve fails or something.

14 minutes ago, BrownBobby said:

I personally have found it invaluable to do so - a diaper makes a lot easier, even if it's not draining into it.  Heck, even makes recovering from surgery easier. The nurses in my stricture removal were impressed I had planned to wear a "brief" out - they're used to having to talk people into it over whatever "mesh underwear with pads" would count as.

That's another good point, it keeps the catheter in place!

[Reddy]

On 2/28/2024 at 1:06 PM, superabsorbantpolymer said:

Wow that sounds so great, you are profoundly incontinent now. Do you carry a spare pair of pants in case your diaper leaks? 

It must be nice always having an empty bladder, I love that feeling of being drained when I have a catheter in. 

Re: pull ups, I think they're really great for exercise. I love running in them the support my junk and fit nicely under athletic shorts. I'm at the point where I can walk, strech, etc and pee at the same time so releasing often means they absorb quite a lot but if I flood it would be an issue (but you don't do that). You definitely need a heavy duty diaper for logger stretches tho, no pulling up/down to pp for you, ever again 😜

It does feel good when it's empty.  I really noticed that last week when I was leaking

On 2/28/2024 at 2:22 PM, Diapered Dave said:

It depends on whether you're facing north or south when you cum. You know, the magnetic poles and such. I read it on the internet, so it's gotta be true. 😆

 

Wow, that's great!  With the thick diapers, is it noticeable in the outline of your pants? In the few times I wore diapers to work, I had to watch out how much I wet, because the diaper would really swell up and create a very obvious diaper bulge.

 

Often when I change my diapers and I don't want to leak in my pants, (When I have a stent in..)  I change while standing up, butt against the wall. I'll lower my pants to my knees, open up my new diaper and lay it open, on top of my lowered pants. Then I unfasten my wet diaper, and remove it. Any dripping urine just falls into my new diaper. Easy pezzy !!

So is it the urge to pee that wakes you up? (When your bladder is holding urine..) Have you had any diaper leaks in bed yet?

 

So how's your frame of mind? Has it sunk in that you're REALLY incontinent? Are you enjoying your now true diaper dependence?

Any lingering soreness or pain from the operation? No more clots?

Yeah, what he said!!!  I have also had almost a whole bag of diapers turn out to be defective.  I opened a NEW bag of diapers, while on vacation, and almost every one of them had one tape missing, in the same spot. Manufacturing defect.

Yes it does become a noticable diaper bulge in my pants when I wet.  I just hope nobody thinks too much about it.

Good idea for changing.

Yes the full bladder wakes me up.

It hadn't really hit me even when I was leaking.  I think because I hadn't fully healed yet, so I didn't feel like I knew exactly how things would end up.  I still felt like I had a huge throbbing uncertainty down there.

I had quite a bit of soreness still a week ago, but now almost none.

When I was in Mexico one of the diapers I bought there had a clean slice through it in the crotch and I didn't notice until I was leaking everywhere lol.

On 2/28/2024 at 2:35 PM, Craisler said:

I’m glad things are going so well for you.  

I suspect you won’t be too happy with pull-up diapers when it comes time to change.  Most of the time you have to undress completely below the waist, including shoes, to get the wet diaper off and the new one on.

I’ve found that cloth diapers are economically the best choice around the house and for night use.  They don’t have the capacity of disposable diapers, but over time, they are a lot less expensive.  At night, they are less likely to leak.

Good luck, I’m certainly envious.  When I was your age, I would have jumped at the chance to do what you’ve done if such a procedure had been available.  As it is, I no longer really need to be incontinent to wear diapers.  Nearly everyone almost expects people my age to be wearing diapers and my underwear confirms their expectations.

Oh yes that's a good point.  I wouldn't like having to take my shoes and pants off just to change in the bathroom at work.

On 2/29/2024 at 6:16 AM, Elfy said:

So, Reddy... Is incontinence everything you hoped for and expected so far?

It almost was, and now it's backslid.  But I'm still hopeful that once the blockage gets better, either through reduced swelling, or a stricture treatment, I will be enjoying incontinence again.

On 2/29/2024 at 1:33 PM, michael1538 said:

Hello Mr. Reddy, I know you have heard this before but I will still compliment you on your decision to have the surgery and become incontinent. That was possible something you had to think about for a long time before making that decision and now that it is done, you will have some life changing results. I would love to experience how your incontinence is working.

I have a couple questions.

I read in earlier postings that you were not a long time diaper user. You wore diapers at times but not for long periods of 24/7. Yet you still desired incontinence, which would result in you needing to wear diapers full time. When you made your decision to go through the surgery that made you incontinent, was it the full time need of diapers OR the full time incontinence that gave you the ammunition to go through with the operation?

In some later postings you have mentioned that you have tried masturbation after the operation. I have read about guys that masturbate and after the climax, they loose interest in wearing diapers for a while. I have also experienced that myself. Have you had those same feelings after climaxing before your surgery? How about now, now that you HAVE to be in diapers to control your pee. Does it still feel the same afterwords or are you working on changing your mindset that you MUST still wear a diaper? 

I have to say that since I made a commitment to myself to use diapers full time starting this year, When I do climax, either in a diaper or not, I will force myself (if necessary) to continue wearing a diaper. I will say that it is getting easier to put on a clean diaper or just continue wearing what I have on until  such time it is ready to be changed.

Again, CONGRATULATIONS with your decision. Most people won't understand it but there are those of us that do and I bet, most are jealous of your results. I wish you the best!

 

 

 

It was the full time need of diapers that made me want it.  Even though I didn't have experience with that, I knew I wanted it.

I normally never had that switch to not wanting diapers after I climax.  Similarly now, I felt no change in my mood about diapers after masturbation.

And thank you!

On 3/1/2024 at 7:10 PM, superabsorbantpolymer said:

So, it's Friday. How did your first week of being an incontinent professional go @reddy? Any highlights? Leaks? Difficulty managing discretion?

I don't mean to pester you to share, just hope everything is going well 😊

The first two days in the office were wonderful.  The last two, not as much 😄

No leaks and no difficulty.  I was surprised that I needed to change so often at first.  Later on I wasn't needing to change due to retention.  But at first that was interesting.

No real difficulty managing discretion.  The thing that was most difficult that surprised me was having trouble bringing a diaper to the bathroom.  I ended up hiding it inside my pullover.  It felt awkward.  I might want to use some bag or covering that doesn't arouse suspicion so I don't need to stuff it in my clothes.  I'm just not sure what that would be yet.

On 3/2/2024 at 12:50 PM, soggster said:

In many ways this sounds like a case of BIID (now called BID but that's harder to Google for) - which is where someone's body doesn't match their internal idea of who they are. It's a very real condition and can to lead to people making attempts at "fixing" their bodies to match how they feel they should be. Sadly this is often done harmfully due to the lack of legal routes and understanding of BIID; so strong are the emotions that it's worth the risks and pain to many folk. So I'm very glad that Reddy has chosen to do it in the safest way possible.

Reddy, you have my best wishes - it's still an exciting time no doubt for you and us all reading along at home. When the excitement fades and the daily routines are figured out I'd still very much love to hear how you adapt and get on with things.

Thank you for the well wishes!  Things are still changing by the day, but hopefully I settle into a good routine soon.

[superabsorbantpolymer]

Thanks for all the responses! Did you include a reason for the appointment when you contacted the urologist? You mentioned how the surgeon in Mexico offered to do revisions, is that included in the original price? Would you go back to that clinic if you could? 

Over a month is a long time to wait to see a urologist. You should try and expedite it maybe? Either way you should keep things stretched out as much as possible. There's scars forming on your prostate and sphincters, you need to keep the passage open as much as possible. After the surgery they had a 22f in you right? Maybe it's worth putting one in, if only for a few hours at a time to really stretch out the tissues.

[PuraVidaDip]

On 3/4/2024 at 10:56 PM, Reddy said:

It does feel good when it's empty.  I really noticed that last week when I was leaking

Yes it does become a noticable diaper bulge in my pants when I wet.  I just hope nobody thinks too much about it.

Good idea for changing.

Yes the full bladder wakes me up.

It hadn't really hit me even when I was leaking.  I think because I hadn't fully healed yet, so I didn't feel like I knew exactly how things would end up.  I still felt like I had a huge throbbing uncertainty down there.

I had quite a bit of soreness still a week ago, but now almost none.

When I was in Mexico one of the diapers I bought there had a clean slice through it in the crotch and I didn't notice until I was leaking everywhere lol.

Oh yes that's a good point.  I wouldn't like having to take my shoes and pants off just to change in the bathroom at work.

It almost was, and now it's backslid.  But I'm still hopeful that once the blockage gets better, either through reduced swelling, or a stricture treatment, I will be enjoying incontinence again.

It was the full time need of diapers that made me want it.  Even though I didn't have experience with that, I knew I wanted it.

I normally never had that switch to not wanting diapers after I climax.  Similarly now, I felt no change in my mood about diapers after masturbation.

And thank you!

The first two days in the office were wonderful.  The last two, not as much 😄

No leaks and no difficulty.  I was surprised that I needed to change so often at first.  Later on I wasn't needing to change due to retention.  But at first that was interesting.

No real difficulty managing discretion.  The thing that was most difficult that surprised me was having trouble bringing a diaper to the bathroom.  I ended up hiding it inside my pullover.  It felt awkward.  I might want to use some bag or covering that doesn't arouse suspicion so I don't need to stuff it in my clothes.  I'm just not sure what that would be yet.

Thank you for the well wishes!  Things are still changing by the day, but hopefully I settle into a good routine soon.

Hope everything works out for you! I wear 24/7 and I have to change way more than it seems some people do. 1-2 diapers per day? Not sure what's going on there but I suspect they use the toilet for #2 and pee at the same time. More realistic for a 24/7 wearer is 3-6 diapers per day.

[DAQ]

57 minutes ago, PuraVidaDip said:

Hope everything works out for you! I wear 24/7 and I have to change way more than it seems some people do. 1-2 diapers per day? Not sure what's going on there but I suspect they use the toilet for #2 and pee at the same time. More realistic for a 24/7 wearer is 3-6 diapers per day.

You're using 3-6 because that is how manh times you are messing?

[PuraVidaDip]

2 hours ago, DAQ said:

You're using 3-6 because that is how manh times you are messing?

I drink an appropriate amount of fluids. I also mess 2-3 times per day. But what I am saying is that, I noticed this at CapCon because I REALLY tried to go #2 in the toilet when I could make it (about 1/2 the time I did) that I ended up urinating in the toilet while going #2 which is common for humans to do. I bet that decreases the number of needed diapers by 1-2 per day.

I just have read so many comments like more than 3 diapers a day - insane! Not needed! When well, that's what I need. To each their own, but to help set proper expectations, 3-6 diapers a day is a normal use case, regardless of the absorbancy. Sure, have I ever in my life only used 2 diapers in a day wearing 247 - YES. But I was sedentary, dehydrated and didn't poop or pooped in the toilet.

It's just not realistic for someone relatively active, who stays reasonably hydrated, who never uses a toilet, to only use 2-3 diapers a day.

[Diapered Dave]

Also, if you're using only 2 diapers a day, odds are that you will start smelling like urine after sitting in a 12-hour wet diaper. That might be ok at home, but at work, it might be a problem.

[superabsorbantpolymer]

Yeah if I am using a ultra aborbent product like in BeDry or Megamax I still have to use 3-4 diapers a day. At least one of them will be messy (usually my night diaper that I keep in until I mess). But if I am staying properly hydrated I need to change after 6-8 hours regardless (morning, early afternoon, evening, nighttime). If I am wearing less absorbent products I use 5-7 per day. 

I am a big person (tall not fat) so I probably have more urine output than the average individual. I can see how someone much smaller than me who doesn't stay hydrated might get by with 2, but they're going to smell more strongly and probably have a higher risk of skin irritation.

[voodoochild]

@Reddy im so glad you are on the other side. I hope i can fulfill my lifelong desire of being incontonent as you have done i know right no you have to be cathed becaused of the scar tissue (which sucks!) But hope your recovery is pain free and that the strictures subside so you can be you!

On a side note ive had a burning desire to be incontinent my whole life im still pressuing ways to achive it but my mind is made up...id love surgical way but tbe strictures sounds like it kills it 😭 why is it sooo hard to be incontinent!! For all you nay sayers please kindly f@@k off!

Well done mr.reddy

[superabsorbantpolymer]

How was your week @Reddy? Still wearing the same catheter? Have you been talking to your surgeon in Mexico about the retention? Or any update on the local doctors? 

Hope you're holding up okay! 

[keyman419]

On 3/7/2024 at 9:55 PM, voodoochild said:

On a side note ive had a burning desire to be incontinent my whole life im still pressuing ways to achive it but my mind is made up...id love surgical way but tbe strictures sounds like it kills it 😭 why is it sooo hard to be incontinent!! For all you nay sayers please kindly f@@k off!

Stricture is always a risk but not a given. It can be a bump in the road but can be dealt with and the long term outcome will be good. I encourage you to pursue your dream as you desire. I've achieved my nullification surgery and reroute and had no issues but knew stricture was a possible. Now considering incontinence surgery for myself, I'm willing to accept the risk for the desired outcome. The Mexican clinic has a very good reputation and there are others doing it now too. Having used a long term stent, I can tell you incontinence with constant dribbling and zero control is amazing. 

[Diapered Dave]

2 hours ago, keyman419 said:

 The Mexican clinic has a very good reputation and there are others doing it now too. 

You've found other clinics doing the surgery too? That's exciting news for many in this group! Are any of them in the U.S.?  

[whetdiaper]

Good luck to you! Big transitions mean big emotions, so be sure to give yourself the space to feel all of them and plenty of time to heal!

[Ineedboth1994]

Stay strong @Reddy

 

Just remember that no matter what you are completely diaper dependent now. I’m sure the blockage is a bit of a bummer but it could clear up at any time.

 

We are all rooting for you!

[Don Incognito]

On 3/9/2024 at 1:42 AM, Diapered Dave said:

You've found other clinics doing the surgery too? That's exciting news for many in this group! Are any of them in the U.S.?  

I'm sure a few people here would also be interested in knowing if any of them charge less than $25,000.

[Reddy]

On 3/4/2024 at 11:57 PM, superabsorbantpolymer said:

Thanks for all the responses! Did you include a reason for the appointment when you contacted the urologist? You mentioned how the surgeon in Mexico offered to do revisions, is that included in the original price? Would you go back to that clinic if you could? 

Over a month is a long time to wait to see a urologist. You should try and expedite it maybe? Either way you should keep things stretched out as much as possible. There's scars forming on your prostate and sphincters, you need to keep the passage open as much as possible. After the surgery they had a 22f in you right? Maybe it's worth putting one in, if only for a few hours at a time to really stretch out the tissues.

Yes I would go back to the clinic in Mexico.  I'm not sure about what's included.  But I would go anyway if I'm not incontinent.

When I made the new appointment for urology I had told my pcp I am having blockages alternating with incontinence but there wasn't an opportunity to tell the urology department that.  They only had a few options to click on and none of them matched blockages so I clicked on incontinence.  It seemed the closest (vs erectile dysfunction, hematuria, etc because blockage is also a problem with peeing.

My appointment was originally 4/24 but just by watching the website when appointments become available (maybe due to people cancelling) I got my appointment moved up to this Wednesday 3/13!!

I am very glad about that and hope to deal with the stricture very soon!

[keyman419]

1 minute ago, Reddy said:

Yes I would go back to the clinic in Mexico.  I'm not sure about what's included.  But I would go anyway if I'm not incontinent.

...

I am very glad about that and hope to deal with the stricture very soon!

I'm certain it will get taken care of and you will enjoy your future as dribbling incontinence. This is just a bump in the road and will be taken care of soon. We all here are excited for your progress and some will be moving forward with you.

[Reddy]

On 3/6/2024 at 9:12 AM, PuraVidaDip said:

Hope everything works out for you! I wear 24/7 and I have to change way more than it seems some people do. 1-2 diapers per day? Not sure what's going on there but I suspect they use the toilet for #2 and pee at the same time. More realistic for a 24/7 wearer is 3-6 diapers per day.

Thanks!  When I wasn't having a blockage it was more in the 3-6 diapers range for sure.  At least 4 in a 24 hr period and I had really good diapers on.