Getting Surgery in Mexico

[Reddy]

I downloaded a countdown timer app and used a photo I created with AI about a man becoming suddenly incontinent after a bladder surgery in Guadalajara as the background 🤣

I think the AI image really captured the feeling 🙏

[Diapered Dave]

I love the graphics!!!   I've never seen a diaper with a built-in gridle, but I still love it!!

Now after the surgery, for authenticity, there will have to be a growing yellow spot on the front of the diaper!   😁

[Reddy]

Yeah I would have chosen a slightly different "diaper" than whatever that is, but I guess it's not terrible.  The rest of the graphic is just perfect.  There were some duds that came out of the AI at first but this one was great.

I love the idea of an after picture with the yellow spot 😄

[Reddy]

I have a question for any readers of this thread.  If you got the incontinence surgery in Mexico, and assuming you then need to see your doctor or urologist for follow up care back in your home country, would you be fully honest with your doctors and urologists about what you had done, where it was done, and the incontinence desires that motivated you to do it?  Why or why not?

Possible reasons to be honest: you're comfortable sharing the details, it doesn't embarrass you, you expect better quality of care by providing full honesty about what you had done and why and where, you assume doctors will be able to tell you had incontinence surgery anyway by examining you, or you simply don't have a reason to lie.

Possible reasons to withhold your intentions behind the surgery: you just don't want anyone to ever know you desired the incontinence, you're too embarrassed to discuss those desires and would prefer not to reveal your incontinence desires, you don't think it will impact the level of care because you can still describe the procedure and explain that you think the surgery was botched/you didn't understand it very well/whatever reason to play innocent about it, you don't want to divulge that you went to Mexico for care, or you just don't see any reason to divulge the intentions behind the surgery.  And POTENTIALLY, this could be a BIG one... insurance does not cover aftercare from an "elective" surgery-?  So being honest could cost big $$$ (?)

What say you?  I lean towards not mentioning Mexico or incontinence desires at all, but I would explain that I had a "procedure" for a specific purpose and that now I need a second opinion and to have someone look at it because I'm "concerned" about the results and/or what was done, and need stricture treatment, help with blockages, irritation, infection, or whatever the case may be.

[DAQ]

2 hours ago, Reddy said:

I downloaded a countdown timer app

 

[oznl]

5 hours ago, Reddy said:

Do you have another idea for sharing the story?  Do you just mean the thread could be deleted or lost unexpectedly not by my actions?  I would be open to alternatives if necessary.

I think it’s great that your chronicle is here and I don’t have any reason to suggest that it’s about to get lost.   It’s not like you’re breaking any laws.

It’s more that the account you would author would be vanishingly rare and possibly too valuable to be left to the vagaries of discussion forums where at best, they sink down the viewing order over time.   It’s unfortunately happened in the past that discussions similar to this get invaded by thought-zombies whereupon the point of them can get diluted or lost in general acrimony and/or the author (unsurprisingly) decamps because the topic has descended into abuse.  I've seen even seen worthy threads (not here) get zapped by mods just because of all the ballyhoo they got infected with.

Hopefully that will not happen.  There’s no hint of it so far.

But…

At a minimum, I’d be keeping my diary off-line and posting your updates out of that diary.  That way you have a backup should this world end and you need to find another one.  That’s what I do with my own chronicle.  What appears here is a reflection of what I wrote somewhere else.  Should something happen to my thread or worse, DD, at least I have a backup.

4 hours ago, Reddy said:

No plastic sheet, but I'll have to be careful.

There's something I *might* be able to contribute to.  I'm not daytime incontinent but I've certainly developed bedwetting.

My experience is that my propensity for leaks got higher once true bedwetting appeared because I got very random about  "managing" my position in bed when I peed and adult disposables don't like getting used in certain positions.

Back when I was a corporate traveller, I used terry-lined plastic pants (the double layer "Kins" ones are excellent) over my night nappy.  By the end of my career (Covid), I was both a frequent flyer AND a bedwetter.  I leaked plenty of times but I *never* wet a hotel bed with those. 

I may have been drying them out over a radiator a few times though 🤣

[Reddy]

Two good pieces of advice, thank you @oznl.  I'll definitely look into a separate copy of my journal of thoughts and updates.

I may need those terry lined plastic pants.  I'm a side sleeper, so I expect if I do wet overnight long term, I'll be leaking way too much otherwise.

Edit: there's a possibility I'll be too tired to look at my phone and type up an update in this thread post-surgery, but that I call @DAQ and ask him to post an update on my behalf.  So if it's after my 2/12 surgery and DAQ posts an update about me, it will be the truth.

[DAQ]

8 hours ago, Reddy said:

Edit: there's a possibility I'll be too tired to look at my phone and type up an update in this thread post-surgery, but that I call @DAQ and ask him to post an update on my behalf.  So if it's after my 2/12 surgery and DAQ posts an update about me, it will be the truth.

I wouldn't leave me with that kind of power and responsibility. You will get back and everyone is going to be asking you about how you found the Chupacabra and your short stint as a Lucho Libre "El Bandido Pañal"!

[Diapered Dave]

Oh Crap, man!!! Don't go!!! I completely forgot about the Chupacabra!!!! 

[Reddy]

That made me laugh.  Well that story sounds like it will be more entertaining than the truth, so I support it.

I decided to focus on the countdown to my flight on 2/10 instead of the surgery date on 2/12.  So, that is down to 22 days!

[Reddy]

An update for today:

I had my follow up appointment with my primary care doctor to discuss bladder pain, discomfort, and urgency issues I had complained about last month (before I knew about the center in Mexico).  I was nervous about this appointment already, but a little more nervous now.  It went really well.  I explained my symptoms, which I've actually had intermittently since around puberty.  I had been planning to discuss this well before I had even heard of or considered the surgery option.  But I then told him I had seen another urologist who was recommended and who wants to perform a procedure (this is all true right now) and I asked about possibly seeing another urologist.  He created a referral good for the next year in my file in case I want to pursue getting a 2nd opinion.  I'm really glad to have that referral for ongoing care I might need.  I don't think I'll actually go in to get the "2nd opinion" before my surgery, but I will go in maybe 6 weeks post-surgery or later.  He asked me what health system the urologist I saw is part of, and I said I didn't know, but that I think it was just a small office (also all true).  He said that's fine, he was just asking in case he would be able to pull records, but since it's a small office he probably wouldn't be able to anyway, so he told me not to worry about that.  He was really glad I had seen a urologist and really encouraging of pursuing more discussions with them and/or other urologists.

I'm just relieved to have the visit over with because I hate talking about this kind of stuff with doctors.  But I'm also really glad that I 1) took my primary doctor off the hook on my actual symptoms so he doesn't have to worry anymore, 2) got the standing referral for when I might need it, and 3) already got the discussion about medical records out of the way and resolved.

A great day!

[padded-nightly]

Have to admit I'm super jealous after reading this post.

Please don't listen to the naysayers, especially the ones who are trying to frighten you with incorrect information about how a hospital would deal with any emergency.

I will say that, personally, if I was talking to a doctor after the fact I would be factual and honest about your history. You can simply say "I had an elective transuretheral resection of the bladder neck, prostate, and sphincter." I don't think that hiding information from your doctor is going to yield good results.

I would also not assume that insurance is going to not cover anything remotely related to this in the future. Especially the farther you get from it in time, it will become far less relevant. Insurance will not notice or care if you get a bladder infection in a year and need antibiotics they are never going to notice that.

Anyway, best of luck, don't let the haters get you down, they are just jealous

[Diapered Dave]

2 hours ago, Reddy said:

I don't think I'll actually go in to get the "2nd opinion" before my surgery, but I will go in maybe 6 weeks post-surgery or later. 

Would you just go in even if everything was going to plan? (Wetting without control, no pain, no blockage, etc...)

I would think if you saw the "2nd Opinion" urologist to soon, in diapers, he might become alarmed and try to fix it. Which would then leave you in the position of explaining that you don't want it fixed.

[Reddy]

Yeah, I'm probably going to go see the 2nd Opinion doctor even if everything went perfectly.  I had thought about it, and I figure if he tries to "fix it" I can pretty reasonably tell him I'm very leery of getting ANY more surgeries, given my complications (except stricture or blockage treatment, etc).  He might think I'm silly, but would at least accept it as an understandable response.

[Diapered Dave]

Are you going to be diapered on the flight down there? You might as well be.... It's your new lifestyle. And if you're taking diapers with you in your luggage, the TSA would pretty much expect you to be in diapers.  Check out that TSA Notification Card that I posted a photo of on page 2 of this thread... You can get it from the TSA website here:

https://www.tsa.gov/sites/default/files/disability_notification_card_508.pdf

Just type what you want in the white space, download it, and print it.  I laminated mine too. Then if they stop you for an extra check, show them the card to get a private screening.

 

[DAQ]

1 hour ago, Diapered Dave said:

Are you going to be diapered on the flight down there? You might as well be.... It's your new lifestyle. And if you're taking diapers with you in your luggage, the TSA would pretty much expect you to be in diapers.  Check out that TSA Notification Card that I posted a photo of on page 2 of this thread... You can get it from the TSA website here:

https://www.tsa.gov/sites/default/files/disability_notification_card_508.pdf

Just type what you want in the white space, download it, and print it.  I laminated mine too. Then if they stop you for an extra check, show them the card to get a private screening.

 

Just don't fly with diaper powder unless you want to meet the nice NSA EXO man. Apparently diaper powder is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS and very explosive according to the NSA. So the TSA will call them because their instruments only say boom while the NSA instruments say go zoom.

[Reddy]

That's a good point if I am taking diapers in my luggage, the TSA would pretty much expect me diapered.  Yeah I think I will diaper up for the flights down there.  You actually just changed my mind towards being diapered.

[zzyzx]

12 hours ago, DAQ said:

Just don't fly with diaper powder unless you want to meet the nice NSA EXO man. Apparently diaper powder is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS and very explosive according to the NSA. So the TSA will call them because their instruments only say boom while the NSA instruments say go zoom.

At this point, I always remove my bottle of (talc baby) powder and leave it by itself in the bucket when going through (US) airport security. I think the last several times I've flown they have always run the explosives test on the container, and then let it pass.....  So if you do bring it, just leave it where they don't have to dig through your carry on bag at the security check.  A full bottle (new) is almost guarantee to trigger checks after x-ray.  A partial bottle might slip through OK.

OK, you can't get talc powder in the US anymore, and I haven't tested corn starch yet, but it wouldn't surprise me if it shows similar on the x-ray machine.

The real "fun" one with that explosive machine is some sun tan lotions.....

[Reddy]

Thoughts and dreams...

Last week I dreamed for the first time about being incontinent.  I was in some situation where everybody was naked, and I was too but it was a problem because I was the only one leaking urine.  In the dream, it made me sad that I could never be naked.  When I woke up, I was excited.

Yesterday, I started to worry about retrograde ejaculation (dry orgasm).  I read some things saying it feels the same as regular orgasm, and some things saying it's shorter and ends immediately after the first sensation of orgasm.  I wonder if anybody has experience and can refute this.

Last night's dream was different.  I had told my parents I was incontinent, but then I never was.  I had undergone the surgery, but then I was left with complete control of my bladder.  That was upsetting in the dream, and I was extremely disappointed and depressed by it.

Happy Saturday, only 21 days until my flight, 23 days until surgery.

[oznl]

1 hour ago, Reddy said:

Thoughts and dreams...

Last week I dreamed for the first time about being incontinent.  I was in some situation where everybody was naked, and I was too but it was a problem because I was the only one leaking urine.  In the dream, it made me sad that I could never be naked.  When I woke up, I was excited.

There’s a few of us who’ve been chronicling our journeys into 24/7 and dreams have been a thing for us.

It seems that this soaks (the puns just never stop 😆) into our subconscious to regularly pop up in those mad sleep-movies that screen most nights in our heads.

Some of those dream-influences were probably just physiological.  It was a marked thing as I was developing bed-wetting for my dreams to reflect some long rambling narrative that was in effect, giving me permission to pee whilst asleep.  A variant on this was some implausible scenario that was explaining to me why I WAS peeing whilst I was asleep (and "rationalising" the associated physical sensations).

Those still happen today but they’re not as frequent.  I suspect this might be because bed-wetting is by now, somewhat normalised for me although I still don't think it's every night (well think, I don't know anymore).

The other class of diaper dream reflects misgivings or fears about the consequences of my lifestyle choice.   This seem to be what you are describing here and reflects the emotional journey as opposed to the physiological one.  In these, being involuntarily exposed is a frequent-flyer theme.  To be honest, sometimes, these have been “depressing and/or disturbing” to use your phraseology.

It will be interesting in your case what happens with respect to these dreams.

In contrast to myself, you’re just going to wake up to find yourself a bedwetter in a couple of weeks time.  There will be no protracted transition nor behaviours to acquire.

You’re also going to find yourself similarly-instantly daytime-incontinent and any decision about it is by that point moot.

Regrets will be futile.  Again, this is in contrast to my own situation which is no more than a gradual decline in continence that I suspect I could at this point, stop and reverse, a choice-point that grants my subconscious the luxury of tormenting me.

[superabsorbantpolymer]

On 1/19/2024 at 3:28 PM, Reddy said:

I'm just relieved to have the visit over with because I hate talking about this kind of stuff with doctors.  But I'm also really glad that I 1) took my primary doctor off the hook on my actual symptoms so he doesn't have to worry anymore, 2) got the standing referral for when I might need it, and 3) already got the discussion about medical records out of the way and resolved.

 

Yeah this was smart, as I said before (and I hope it doesn't make me a naysayer because you are living my fantasy at the same time), but you'll almost certainly need that referral. You're a urology patient for life now. You will have the urological anatomy of a paraplegic. You will have all sorts of issues and possible revisions in the future, but as other posters said it's all run of the mill. Each new doctor picks up where the last left off and will treat you as they find you even if it's self imposed. But your explanation of elective resection of all your continence organs to treat no specific condition except oab is a wild thing for a doctor to hear. But as said it is what it is at that point. They'll definitely  talk about it to their colleagues.

Your dreams are very interesting. Perhaps your sub conscious is not ready for a life of truly no control? There's artificial sphincters and such out there these days. If its absolutely not what you want you can probably "fix" it to some extent. Would be cool to have an artificial sphincter than you can toggle on/off. IDK if that's a thing but hopefully it will be. 

[Diaperman1995]

Wow that was a lot to read.  As a incontinent member for almost 3 decades I really think you are about to make a really big mistake.  But it is your life and if you are willing to live with the mistake then so be it.  /i can tell you it is no fun at all when you can not turn it off.  YOu may be excited now but you will one day regret this.  Even if you do accept being incontinent and the surgery goes well you are going to have days you will feel so stupid for doing this to yourself. 

Think of all the times you have wet your diaper already and then get the urge and you know your diaper can not hold it so you hold it in until you can go change.  That is never going to be a option.  You will leak in public and you will have to change in public spaces around people you know.  When I am sick and hurting I just wish I could not move but I have to change my diaper.  Diaper rash will happen especially in the summer months and you will want a break.  But your only option for that break will be a condom cath or foley.   Skin heals so much faster when not wet.  I am spending over $250 a month on diapers and I never get a break from that either.   With incontinence comes bladder infections as well.  They can turn ugly and become life threatening kidney infections and then turn septic all in one day.  I have lost count the number of times I have became septic and in the hospital even the ICU. Your bladder size will shrink the walls will become thick and covered in cystitis. It cause horrible bladder spasms and burning much like a infection.  That can turn into a bladder cancer.   I am not making shit up or trying to scare you into doing something different but I really hope you do some real research on the negatives and why only a hack for hire in mexico would do this surgery.  Scar tissue forming in strictures is very real and can even block off things.  I have had stricture surgery a couple times in my life.  I am 10 years older than you and I do have a lot of other health issues.  But Incontinence brings a lot in it's self more than I have seen anyone here post.  I had a bladder stim put in to try and help mine and it is a simple out paitent surgery. Only mine got infected badly and I became septic twice from it before it had to be removed.  The last time the infection settled around my heart.  Any surgery no matter the path taken and procedure used are able to cause infection and tissue death.     I just want you to really study up on the negatives as much as you can in the next week.  If you decide to go through with it at least you have a idea. 

What is the longest you have went wearing a diaper 24/7? The fact you was thinking about flying down un diapered makes me wonder if you are really mentally prepared.  Also You have worn diapers knowing you did not need them and it makes you feel wrong. How are you going to feel when you know deep in your heart you never needed them and you created this issue?  How are you going to feel if it becomes a life threatening infection?

 

To answer your question if you do this or when you do this should you tell your american doctor the truth if you have complications?  Yes 100% you should tell him.  What you tell him he can not share with your family or anyone that is not treating you. Do not be ashamed of what you did so bad you would over look telling someone your full medical history.   I can assure you he will without a doubt know that you are not being honest when he runs a scope up you and sees what has been cut.  Having a surgery to loosen for retention is not the same as cutting both bladder sphincters and the inside of the prostate.  He will know you had a hack job done and he will want to see the medical records of the surgery you told him you had done.  He is going to want to know what hospital and why it was done.  If you are not honest you only stand the chance of getting inadequate healthcare for the complications you are having.  It is not like they can do a surgery to reverse what is done without your consent.  

Anyway these are my thoughts as someone who has lived 30 years bladder incontinent and the last 5 with fecal incontinence getting worse yearly.   Please Promise you will never go for loss of number 2 because you 1000% have no clue what you are asking.      I apologize if it sounds like am am busting your balls for fun.  I just want to make sure you really know what you are asking.  Unless you have went 3-5 years 24/7 you have not got a clue & even then it is not the same as being incontinent.  

I want you to be happy so I will not keep busting your balls.  But if you have this done be honest to the group over the next few years if you was right or wrong to want this and if it was as easy and great a life as you imagined.  That is what I ask.   You have my best wishes and I sadly look forward to reading how this goes long term.

 

[diaperboymi]

I can clearify the "dry orgasm" from my point of view.  Several years ago I had prostate cancer.  I had surgery that totally removed the prostate.  No more ejaculation.  I can tell you that my orgasms are Absolutely the same as before the surgery.  Just as long and just as intense.  My wife actually likes them better.  No mess 😅.  

[cathdiap]

This topic has made me think a lot about my increasing desires for incontinence in recent months Although the idea of being irreversibly incontinent is very tempting at times, to the point where I started considering having this surgery done myself, I keep coming back to the belief that I should NEVER do it. as long as I

1) lose interest in diapers after masturbating on the thought of being incontinent

2) stop wearing diapers when visiting family

3) get bored of the constant peeing and wetness between my legs

Over the last few weeks all of these things have happened, so for now I know I am definitely not ready for it. So given all the reasons I still have for wanting to become incontinent, I face a major mental challenge for the near future. 

And then there is the ethical question of whether the costs of any postoperative interventions and aftercare should be passed on to society or borne by the patient. What do we think of that?

[DAQ]

1 hour ago, cathdiap said:

This topic has made me think a lot about my increasing desires for incontinence in recent months Although the idea of being irreversibly incontinent is very tempting at times, to the point where I started considering having this surgery done myself, I keep coming back to the belief that I should NEVER do it. as long as I

1) lose interest in diapers after masturbating on the thought of being incontinent

2) stop wearing diapers when visiting family

3) get bored of the constant peeing and wetness between my legs

Over the last few weeks all of these things have happened, so for now I know I am definitely not ready for it. So given all the reasons I still have for wanting to become incontinent, I face a major mental challenge for the near future. 

And then there is the ethical question of whether the costs of any postoperative interventions and aftercare should be passed on to society or borne by the patient. What do we think of that?

This topic has been very interesting for me. Having talked with Reddy in and out of this forum has made me consider things as a reality that I had not before. It has taught me a ton. It made me realize there were things I had thought of but not processed as a reality. Like my plan was originally to become more or less incontinent before telling anyone in my family but this thread has made me reconsider and push past that fear.

There are things I think that one should consider before taking this dive. If you lose interest with something as simply masturbating, maybe its a sexual fantasy and not BIID. It may be worth pondering further. The desire to not wear around family I think is understandable, I can't speak for everyone but most ABDLs harbor many negative thoughts and emotions surrounding diapers and it is inevitable that some of these would center around family. I can't speak to your #3. That has never been an issue for me ever.

The people who are able to become incontinent through untraining have to be 100% incontinent mentally before it can happen physically. ANY doubt will stymie the process. But the hard reality that it is possible one way or another can be a powerful tool to really examine how ready one is. 10 days ago when I read the original post that had the contact information for the surgical center, I was 100% ready. Now I am 90-95% ready. The biggest thing holding me back is my aversion to any unnecessary surgery and to spending $25k. But it is interesting, because I have been working on moving forward with hypnosis and somehow the looming threat of a definite, permanent solution has made my unconscious mind process things differently and faster.