Serious Question about incontinence management.

[prideful]

I have been pretty exhausted spending so much on diapers. I am on a subscription and I seem to have ran out faster then I expected this month. I am trying to be COMPLETELY urinary incontinent. I don't like the bowel stuff. Just want relieved of my overactive bladder. I have made progress and I seem to Just be relaxed all the time down there. It is nice but the diapers tend to build up in my trash and I was wondering.

 

Those of you that have NO control of your bladder. NOT bowels. On days u wanna be lazy, how do you manage incontinence. I have been debating on buying regular incontinence panties and just wearing a overnight poise pad? How long does it last? Should I just buy a bunch of cheap pull-ups or just keep wearing old pants and sitting on a bed pad getting wet, on the days i just want air? I personally think buying more panties after loosing all my old pairs would be weird but I do kinda want something lighter than a diaper now and then.

Would really like some advice? Thanks 😊 

[Enthusi]

Welcome to incontinence!  It’s exhausting, expensive, and it never lets up.  In my experience people in your shoes respond in one of two ways: 

1. They decide that 24/7 isn’t worth it to them and they cut back on wearing to a point that is more comfortable for them. This is by far the most common outcome.

2. They are fueled by the validation of having to wear diapers out of need, even when it’s not convenient or enjoyable. 

I myself am firmly in the second camp.  There are LOTS of times when I don’t really feel like putting up with the hassles of being incontinent and diaper dependent. I find it most annoying when I’m on vacation or at the beach or pool.  But even then, the validation of knowing that I HAVE to wear diapers or face an embarrassing leak keeps me going. 

As for using lighter protection,  that would make me even more stressed out because I would be worried about leaking.  Sometimes I will air out on an incontinence pad, or take a nice long bath. But usually I just push through it. 

That said, I think it’s more economical to have a variety of diapers of different levels of absorbency (and cost).  As your bladder control worsens you’ll find it’s more convenient to plan your diaper changes around your schedule. There will be times when you only need a few hours of protection until your next change and in those situations thick premium diapers are overkill.  Plus the variety of diapers keeps it fresh. 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, incontinence would really suck if you didn’t like it. 

[prideful]

i hate to say that I seem to be in a grey area. I have to agree with you, that lighter protection makes me anxious. Especially when I am out of the house. I like your tip about keeping a bunch of different absorbancy diapers. It "does" seem like it would change things up while im at home. I will try that. As for my 24/7 journey I find it easier to wear diapers in general since I started expiriencing OAB symtoms, years back.

I was always curious of diapers growing up and after my urgency started increasing I began fantising about wearing 24/7, for real. Now that I am actually "living the dream as they say" I find myself doing the opposite. Now I think about wearing light protection or just underwear occasionally. Problem is anytime I try I realise how awful i feel if i "do" hold it in. I am pretty sure I am on the edge of the "too far gone phase" Only issue is it is more convient to stay diapered at this point. Almost everyone in my social circle knows I wear. I drive a lot for work so wearing my abdl diapers through the day just makes things easier as i don't have to use public toilets constantly. For me, pros outweigh the cons. P

Planning my changes around my schedual seems like a decent idea but i already have a natual wake up, lunch and dinner change. I think one of the cons I'm dealing with is not changing as much as i should. I would like to be able to change anytime i want more frequently but time is a commodity and diapers are expensive.

[stevewet]

Nappies are expensive. I get some via the NHS continence service but have to buy the rest I need. I try and make them last as long as possible between changes especially when at home.

[rusty pins]

Check out any local Goodwill and Thrift stores.  I get a lot of my diapers there and while they are low end store types like Prevail and 4-tape cloth backed Attends, I can get a new unopened package of 18 to 22 diapers for around $4.  They don't always have them, but when they do it's a cost saver.  For me they are good for about 3 hours or so of constant wetting, but that's usually how long I wear diapers early morning on days I don't work.  For the price they would do a lot better than a small Poise pad.

[babykeiff]

If you are concerned about the costs and absorbance of disposable diapers, why not invest in cloth diapers. One can layer them for overnight / times when you need more absorbancy, and since you do not mess them, the associated cleaning of same should be easier.

[Babypants]

Given how hot and uncomfortable summer days can get, it's always a good idea to have multiple options at your fingertips.  For example, on seriously hot days I wear a disposable TENA pull up, which is good for one long or two intermediate wettings.  If I need added protection, I take two 27 x 27 gauze baby diapers, and fold them either into a 4 ply soaker pad 13.5 x 27, or a 6 ply pad 9 x 27.  Either slips easily inside the pull up, and can be just as easily removed when the time comes.

If you are out and about, it is a good idea to take it for granted that you are going to leak.  This will get you in the habit of carrying a change of clothes with you.  Be proactive in managing incontinence, not reactive, and the problem ends up in the nuisance category.

[prideful]

I'm curious about cloth diapers. Are they comfy? I really like a fluffy absorbant product and I think I have some misconception about cloth but I am willing to try.

Also I am going out of town for work and am carpooling with 4 people. Gonna wear a large abdl diaper with a booster. Kinda nervous but curious if I can actually manage this. I will update my experience tonight. 

[babykeiff]

3 hours ago, prideful said:

I'm curious about cloth diapers. Are they comfy? I really like a fluffy absorbant product and I think I have some misconception about cloth but I am willing to try.

Also I am going out of town for work and am carpooling with 4 people. Gonna wear a large abdl diaper with a booster. Kinda nervous but curious if I can actually manage this. I will update my experience tonight. 

Cloth diapers can be fluffy, absorbant and comfortable. If you put them in a clothes dryer / hot press before putting them on, they are alos warm - but do not use any form of fabric softener in either the washing machine / clothes dryer as it tends to put a layer of waterproof material on clothes which reduces absorbancy of cloth diapers. The best process of washing diapers is presoaking them in water and then washing by hand / machine without any laundry detergent. Urine soaked diapers only need to be rinsed out in cold / luke warm water to clean same. Hot water / soaps tend to expand the fibres which tear thus weakening the diaper material.  What is advantagous for the cloth diaper is a fast spin cycle. As a result, the diaper comes out of the machine nearly dry. It can be hung on a clothes line outside or placed into a tumble dryer to dry and fluff up. Don't dry infront of a heat source unless you want diapers as hard as steel.

The best diapers are flat fold diapers - so you can make them as think as you want by adding multiple layers AND, each single diaper is fast to wash and dry.

[spark]

4 hours ago, prideful said:

I'm curious about cloth diapers. Are they comfy? I really like a fluffy absorbant product and I think I have some misconception about cloth but I am willing to try.

Also I am going out of town for work and am carpooling with 4 people. Gonna wear a large abdl diaper with a booster. Kinda nervous but curious if I can actually manage this. I will update my experience tonight. 

I struggled with cloth diapers for a long time because of issues with the taping and getting the folds and fits right.  I finally found a way that works for me.  I use diaper covers with cloth booster inserted in them.  I'm biased and prefer the feel to my disposable diaper, so I tend to use those, but the cloth are more efficient.  That tends to be what I use at night.   In the morning, I put it in the speed wash cycle and then in the hamper, which tends to reduce the odor.   

[Enthusi]

I haven’t had a terrific experience with cloth diapers.  Even if they’re cheaper the hassle isn’t worth it. Plus they are so darn thick and do nothing to cover urine smell, which makes it hard to wear them while out and about.    These days the only time I wear cloth diaper is over a disposable when I drank a lot before bedtime and I need extra-extra protection. 

[spark]

1 hour ago, Enthusi said:

I haven’t had a terrific experience with cloth diapers.  Even if they’re cheaper the hassle isn’t worth it. Plus they are so darn thick and do nothing to cover urine smell, which makes it hard to wear them while out and about.    These days the only time I wear cloth diaper is over a disposable when I drank a lot before bedtime and I need extra-extra protection. 

That's been my experience, and there are far less convenient. It wasn't until I found the diaper covers with inserts that I found a way to make cloth diapers work for me, and it's still a PITA to deal with.  I run the washing machine to soak the diapers, and the diaper covers can't go into the dryer.  I also have leaks due to user error with cloth diapers, which almost never happens when I use a disposable.  My leaks with the disposables are almost always because the user didn't pay attention to the state of his diaper.  

I think I'm biased because I saw Pampers as a baby item, even though I was probably raised on cloth diapers.

[justforfun]

I've used cloth for bedwetting for a long time, and once I figured it out (multiple thin layers for easy wash and dry, folded in a way that works for me to prevent leaks) cloth has been great for night.

But... over the last month, and for the next month, I've had the opportunity to wear 24/7, as long as it is cloth.  So, I've been trying a bunch of options and boy, it is definitely harder to wear cloth during the day.  As @Enthusi said, the bulk and smell, which is not a big deal at night, is quite a bit more annoying when you have to deal with it all day...

So, one of the solutions I've gravitated to (besides just wearing a thinner version of the night-time prefolds)  has been the ACD cloth pull-ons (https://www.adultclothdiaper.com/Adult-Pullon-Flannel-Diapers_2).  They launder easily, aren't too uncomfortable, and can be pulled up and down as needed.  You could stick a disposable pad in there if you wanted to.  A PUL pant over it is pretty breathable.  Maybe that would help?

 

[Hannah YMS]

23 hours ago, prideful said:

I'm curious about cloth diapers. Are they comfy? I really like a fluffy absorbant product and I think I have some misconception about cloth but I am willing to try.

Also I am going out of town for work and am carpooling with 4 people. Gonna wear a large abdl diaper with a booster. Kinda nervous but curious if I can actually manage this. I will update my experience tonight. 

Cloth diapers can be quite comfy if you diaper yourself right. There are plenty of tutorials online for how to fold a cloth diaper. If you launder them properly they stay soft and absorbent. The downside to cloth is the extra work you need to put in to diaper yourself and to launder the soiled diapers. They are initially expensive but over time they can save you some $ down the line. And cloth is a good way to change things up when you're feeling rashy or chafed.

"Kinda nervous but curious if I can actually manage this." You're incontinent, right? You've got no other choice but TO manage this. You'll find a way. 

[prideful]

I am makimg an update like i promised. I went to a meeting yesterday and i had to drive for 4 hours. I left at 12 noon. drove for 2 hours and got to the meeting then we went for Linner. Before i left I changed into a Tykyeables with a booster pad. I got home and changed at 8:00. I made the decision to leave my diaper bag back home, idk why but a piece of me said if i don't make it, it isn't worth it. i was a little nervous halfway through but didn't feel much different. just waddling a little. then just forgot about it till i got home. I can confirm it made the entire trip worth it. I didn't have to stop once. So in all it was a pleseant expirience. I wil always wear abdl diapers out of the house, after this experience i strangly feel like i got my confidence back.

I bought some abena pullups on your guys advice just to have something good but also a little lighter. I also let curiosity get the better of me and bought some maternity water proof panties and some overnight poise pads 8 drops. I did a little research and it all said that was the best combo for pads. After yesterday there is no going back, it is just so much easier not to have to stress aboout finding a bathroom. I didn't think it stressed me out as much as it did. As for the pads, I just kinda want to test how long they'll last if i just dribble like I do my diaper, purely out of the desire to have something after my shower and im drying off. I will have to say buying panties after so long felt wrong for some reason LOL. I asked my friend who thinks i just don't have any control at all, "witch is mostly an assumption of me not wanting to tell all the details". What she thinks about my purchase? She is convinced I'd leak right through. she has seen me leak a couple of times lol. she figured it out pretty quick. 

 

I am going to buy a cloth diaper tonight, any suggestions? brand? etc? I read through some of your replies and I don't really imagine me liking it since i have a sensory disorder. I do however want to try it at least once. Last thing I'm curious is how you guys personally manage incontinence or even 24/7 out of comfort? I have a great rythymm down, but am intrested in your guys life hacks?

[Hannah YMS]

7 minutes ago, prideful said:

Last thing I'm curious is how you guys personally manage incontinence or even 24/7 out of comfort? I have a great rythymm down, but am intrested in your guys life hacks?

The only life hack I have for going 24/7 and sticking with it is to just keep putting on another diaper after you change. Make it routine. Don't play tricks on your  mind and think you can take a break for a day or two. You either want to do it for one reason or another or you'll find a way not to. Just gotta commit. The rest comes over time as you manage your lifestyle with incontinence.

[prideful]

i tried not wearing a diaper for one night and it was a horribly painful expirience. I instinctivly held it in over night witch i haven't done in a LOOOONNNG time. I swear it was like i was peeing daggers. I genuinly don't trust myself not wearing a diaper. when i am awake. Couple weeks ago i put on a pair of old jeans and worked on my computer to see how my control was. I randomly felt the urge and i feel like i could have held it but not for long. i try my best not to hold anything back even during a test. I don't pay so mutch attention when i am wearing a diaper, for some reason my body is subconciously aware when and when I am not in a diaper. 

If i go out of the house for a few hours and hypathetically i just wore pants with nothing underneath. I imagine it would go like this. "I would get the feeling of needing to pee as soon as i got in the car. after 20 mmin I would feel sore. then 30 to 45 min it would begin to actually physically hurt. at an hour i would just be in pain and feel sick to my stomache. I would probably have a genuine accident before the 2 hour mark. I don't have a tonne of evidence, just based off my pre 24/7, current at home expiraments. I have been wearing diapers out of the house for 3-4 years now so I really don't have much faith in my capacity. I only went 24/7 because i realised at some point I had accidently wore diapers for a week strait not thinking and ran out. The seriously bad anxiety attack made me realise my calling. LMAO so i just gave in.  

[Enthusi]

On 8/2/2023 at 12:24 AM, prideful said:

Couple weeks ago i put on a pair of old jeans and worked on my computer to see how my control was. I randomly felt the urge and i feel like i could have held it but not for long

It’s a trap!   Earlier in my journey I tested myself all the time and each and every time I felt like I could’ve held it longer, but I wanted to fail the test so I intentionally gave up. Therefore the results are inconclusive.   Despite the mounting evidence of wet clothes, towels, and bottles of floor cleaner, I still wasn’t convinced these accidents were truly involuntary.  
 

It turns out that the “I could’ve made it if I tried harder.” sentiment is common for people with incontinence.  Besides, regardless of my actual bladder strength and capacity,  I am clearly not ready to handle the responsibly of staying dry, so I need to wear a diaper, and my floors for it. 

[prideful]

36 minutes ago, Enthusi said:

It’s a trap!   Earlier in my journey I tested myself all the time and each and every time I felt like I could’ve held it longer, but I wanted to fail the test so I intentionally gave up. Therefore the results are inconclusive.   Despite the mounting evidence of wet clothes, towels, and bottles of floor cleaner, I still wasn’t convinced these accidents were truly involuntary.  
 

It turns out that the “I could’ve made it if I tried harder.” sentiment is common for people with incontinence.  Besides, regardless of my actual bladder strength and capacity,  I am clearly not ready to handle the responsibly of staying dry, so I need to wear a diaper, and my floors for it. 

Now that u say that. I might be past my too far gone stage already. 😕 I had soaked sheets this morning and I have been repeatedly peeing on myself during changes. I have already gotten the habit of doing the quick switcheroo, so maybe?

Would you suggest a real test where I try and hold it for real? 

[Enthusi]

4 hours ago, prideful said:

Would you suggest a real test where I try and hold it for real? 

Yes! But you need to make sure you are trying REALLY hard!  

[prideful]

3 hours ago, Enthusi said:

Yes! But you need to make sure you are trying REALLY hard!  

I might try a real test, soon. I don't know why but I feel.super I intimidated actually trying to hold it at all. Maybe in a few days or even a week I'll give it a shot. I have made amazing progress and I don't wanna mess that up now by delaying my release. 

Just a  little bit longer of not holding back. I feel like I am on the verge of "too far gone" Even if I'm already past that I don't wanna take the chance.