Having Babies

[rusty pins]

Some may not like this thread, but I made some observations this morning on babies and toddlers.  At age 64 I have at times regretted that I didn't have any children.  No one to pass down my treasured keepsakes, family photos, spend time with in my old age and take care of my final preparations.  Just when I get those regrets I see something that brings me back to reality.  Babies, 1 and 2 year old's can be cute (especially to their parents) but they can also be disgusting a lot!  Maybe it's my age. 

I had a haircut appointment this morning and got to the barber shop at the same time a mother was bringing in her son who I would guess to be about 14 months old.  First, what bothered me was the mom.  I got to my appointment 7 minutes early, she got there 23 minutes late!  No responsibility with young people anymore!  That's the way of life for them!  They just don't care who they inconvenience and think only of themselves.  The good thing is the barber shop held firm!  She missed her appointment and now had to wait 40 minutes from the time she got there until there was a break in appointments!  GOOD FOR THEM!!

Naturally while waiting my turn in the chair, the mom and kid were playing around next to me.  It was very obvious the kid had messed his diaper because it leaked out on his clothing in back but the mom was oblivious to it!  Then I watched as the kid squatted and I knew, not even having kids of my own, that he was pooping his already full diaper again.  The kid was drooling on the floor, the magazines and had a dripping nose.  The mom was trying to keep his mouth and nose wiped but wasn't having much success.  Finally it was my turn in the chair, about 5 minutes late.  As I was getting my hair cut, the mom finally stopped, took a closer look and noticed her kid's very light blue shortalls were poopy.  How could she not notice when it was the first thing I saw?  She grabbed a thick cloth all in one diaper, wipes and a changing pad from the diaper bag, went out to her truck and changed the kid.  When they came back in, the kid had clean clothes on.

I guess I still regret having biological kids of my own, but looking back on it I guess if I had it to do over, I might just adopt a 5 or 6 year old, give him or her a loving family and while there would still be issues with the kid getting sick now and then, it wouldn't be like always having a 1 or 2 year old with stuff oozing from every orifice most of the time!  It's all part of being a parent I guess, and truth be known, If I had my own biological kids I would be like most doting parents and deal with the drooling and diaper changes like anyone else.

I just came once more to the realization this morning that little kids can be disgusting a lot!

[willnotwill]

When I met my wife, she already had two children.   I've been part of their life since they were 6 and 3.    I don't rue not having biological children of my own.

I've already had to walk one of them to the grave.   The other has provided me three grandchildren.

[ValentinesStuff]

@rusty pins I think the problem with the kid in the barbershop is more a problem with the parent. I'm surprised she had clean clothes.

 

I have no children, I would be a horrible parent. I can barely adult as it is. I do have 8 nephews and nieces, 6 married, 1 engaged, and the youngest just in college. They have a dozen or so kids between them so far. One of which struck me as matching near perfectly how I should look. (I was so jealous.)

[Dubious]

15 hours ago, rusty pins said:

I guess I still regret having biological kids of my own, but looking back on it I guess if I had it to do over, I might just adopt a 5 or 6 year old, give him or her a loving family and while there would still be issues with the kid getting sick now and then, it wouldn't be like always having a 1 or 2 year old with stuff oozing from every orifice most of the time!  It's all part of being a parent I guess, and truth be known, If I had my own biological kids I would be like most doting parents and deal with the drooling and diaper changes like anyone else.

If only it was much easier for single and gay people to adopt, then maybe there would be no homeless children.

"Anyone" can make their own child, but when it comes to adopting there is strict rules, stupid rules. 

[feralfreak]

i have no regrets whatsoever about not having kids, or about not getting into anything that would sentence me to at least 18 years of parenthood, not only do i hate kids, i dont have the temperment to be a parent(knowing this puts me head and shoulders above my biological father, he was abusive, loved being abusive, and made it clear we meant less than his junk, and some cant break those cycles).  one of the things you mentioned is a part of why i never wanted to have kids, having to change dirty diapers, my policy on that is "if it aint MY ass, it aint MY problem!"(yet another reason to stay away from dangerous activities, you make'em, you clean'em). not having kids you have more money for yourself, you dont have to worry about something horrible happening to them like what we saw in past shootings, or abductions, car wrecks, or other tragedies, its just not worth it to me.

[Dubious]

I like kids, but I can't handle the screaming/crying, so having my own is not an option. 
I also don't like the responsibility, so the only time I ever watch the kids is when the parents are nearby. 

[square_duck]

I remember back when I was around 12 or so...... Laying on my bed at home...... And thinking.... "I'm never going to get married OR have kids" I know I'd be a lousy parent, since I had a lousy "roll model" ( dad didn't want kids...but considered it a "business deal" ugh) as an unwanted kid, who is basically a "contract" I think it is perfectly understandable for me to make that decision at that age..

But then again, at age 5-6, I also told myself I wanted to wear diapers again....?????

I guess not all early decisions are wise decisions!!!

[feralfreak]

1 hour ago, square_duck said:

I remember back when I was around 12 or so...... Laying on my bed at home...... And thinking.... "I'm never going to get married OR have kids" I know I'd be a lousy parent, since I had a lousy "roll model" ( dad didn't want kids...but considered it a "business deal" ugh) as an unwanted kid, who is basically a "contract" I think it is perfectly understandable for me to make that decision at that age..

But then again, at age 5-6, I also told myself I wanted to wear diapers again....?????

I guess not all early decisions are wise decisions!!!

you get to wear diapers, and you dont have youngins, id say you made good choices. id trade you fathers any day of the week.

[nonny]

Parenthood is not for everyone, and I totally understand the choice not to do it.

For me, those early years with my kids (three of them, so quite a few years) are the best and happiest I have ever been. Everything anyone would say about the mess, overwhelm, and exhaustion is completely true. Probably not true enough. Blowouts to the armpits, helpless terror at fevers in the night. And… I have never felt more continuous joy, love, purpose and beauty. If I could choose one time in my life to live over again, it would be that one. Everything matters. You see everything with new eyes. Capacities you never knew you had awaken... It was magic.

(Some parts of the older years, not so much. Those early years are by far the simplest.)

[2sail2]

I got married late and wife is like 6 years older.  My sister scared me about issues having babies late in life.  So, that was a big turn off.  Sex is a bit of an effort for us.  I kind of wonder if ones of us are not fertile enough. Only had a couple years of it after first getting married.   In terms of parenting, I think I'd be clueless.  My parents really never parented me.  More or less learned by watching my older brother and sister, what not to do and what to do, respectively.    I'm not sure how I'd deal with my dl desires and kids.  I could probably hide it ok.

[oliver d]

Got two kids, adults now but if my wife had not wanted kids I would have been perfectly happy with that decision as I did not really want kids.Regrets no but life would have been a lot easier.Had a crap relationship with my kids was not really intrested in them.In the last few years my relationship with them has become better as they are no longer kids but adults.

[feralfreak]

1 hour ago, oliver d said:

Got two kids, adults now but if my wife had not wanted kids I would have been perfectly happy with that decision as I did not really want kids.Regrets no but life would have been a lot easier.Had a crap relationship with my kids was not really intrested in them.In the last few years my relationship with them has become better as they are no longer kids but adults.

too bad you couldnt just jump ahead and avoid the headaches

[babykuri]

I like kids but between mental health issues and chronic illnesses its better that I don't have children. I actually worked as a nanny for a long time with kiddos that I still stay in contact with. At this point in my life I'd rather be the one being taken care of than doing the caring. 

[Newbee]

I have kids and I have always wanted kids, I have a great relationship with my children but I also understand why some people don’t want kids.

[~Brian~]

3 minutes ago, Newbee said:

I have kids and I have always wanted kids, I have a great relationship with my children but I also understand why some people don’t want kids.

I am an uncle to several nieces and nephews myself. Although I don't have kids of my own, and I am single, I think of my nieces and nephews as something that is very important to me, and I take it as a serious responsibility. Being an uncle is one of the best things that has ever happened in my life. This is because I am able to teach someone something, and they form a bonding relationship with me, and they like it when they can see me. Some of my nieces and nephews have grown up, and so I don't see them as often, or are they are busy working. While others, are probably between the ages of 6 and 15, and I get to see them when I see my father, and of course my brother James posted a video this morning of one of my nieces mastering writing a two Wheeler, which is something that she had been trying to do for a long time.  

I am very very proud of my nieces and my nephews. They work very hard and they do their very best, and one of the best things that can happen is the good feelings that can be elicited because one of my nieces or my nephews has done something amazing, or has succeeded in doing something that was quite difficult for them, but they persevere. One of the things that I always try to do is instill the fact that each of my nieces and my nephews should take responsibility for everything that they do, and make sure that they always tell the truth karma and make sure that if they need help they ask an adult for assistance.  There are times that I miss my nieces and my nephews, but I always have them in the back of my head. One of the best things that you can do as an uncle or an aunt is to try to set the best example possible, which is what I always try to do. One of the things that you can do to help children grow is to set the best example, because if they have a good example and good role models and good backing they will do a lot better in life. Sometimes I feel as if I'm gushing over my nieces and my nephews because I'm so proud of them, but being an uncle, I'm very proud of anything and everything they have done!

Brian

[Nat]

I have two of my own and dont regret it. My oldest is already starting junior high next week. I never bothered taking my kids to the hair cutting place to get mine cut till they were old enough to behave and wait. I can understand how moms can be late with toddlers because they're unpredictable and don't understand time and they're not puppets so shit happens. I once left a $10 tip when my youngest was 4 because the lady working there had to practically baby sit while I got my hair cut because her being left with books and coloring wasn't enough so she wandered around. Luckily they were not busy so I was thr only customer there but lesson learned.