Could be permanently in diapers this year

[Billy987]

Urologist went well. He wanted me to be on flomax then come back in July. Then try a medication for OAB. Not going to take flomax. “Going to take” medication for OAB in July. Tell him it works, then I assume I can be diagnosed with OAB. This would be much easier with friends and family that would need to know or find out. 
 

May end up going to a doctor about rectal trauma that has caused leakage this year. Since I’m wanting to be in diapers for the rest of my life, (goal is to become completely dependent) this would help with family and acceptance on they are absolutely needed. 

[Cruiser 03]

No decent doctor can be “baffled by bullshit” into a diagnosis of incontinence without a full and complete work up by both a urologist and  colon/ rectal work up by GI proctology , they can’t justify a diagnosis code without the prerequite diagnostic work up being done , to insurance or to “Defensive medicine” to protect them from allegations of malpractice . They may work you up and not find a “smoking gun” cause but in order to get insurance to pay for your care they have to get invasive and uncomfortable , they can’t just make up fiction by listening to patient “signs and symptoms “ possible over active bladder is a long way from incontinent requires pads ,diapers  or catheters for life , there’s only about $80,000 dollars of testing anylsis and quantifying urine bladder stool rectum and muscle testing ,medication trials and various uncomfortable humiliating tests before being referred to physical therapy for additional testing and attempts at excersise intervention before you can be left alone in peace with really cheap diapers . You will still have 6 month to 1 year visits and exams and even then  if your Doctor,insurance, or coverage changes you may have to go through it all again . Nothing is written in stone in modern medicine .

[Cute_Kitten]

Not sure what your situation is OP, but your post seems worried about friends and family accepting your need to wear diapers and having a medical excuse would make it seem more "legit".  If you're over 18, your medical records/ medical business is private info for you and your insurance/ doctors alone. Family can't have access unless you want them to. (Unless your individual circumstances are different, but generally that's how it goes). So if your friends/ family are nosy, just say "Yeah I got some health issues going on, it's fine don't worry but I really don't wanna discuss it." and leave it at that. It's your choice and yours alone if you wanna wear diapers 24/7, no doctor permission slip necessary. We only get one life to live.  But if you're having health issues/ want an incontinence diagnosis, I wish you well and best of luck. 

[Enthusi]

On 4/9/2022 at 9:20 PM, Cruiser 03 said:

No decent doctor can be “baffled by bullshit” into a diagnosis of incontinence without a full and complete work up by both a urologist and  colon/ rectal work up by GI proctology

I “almost completely agree” ?.  Yes you are absolutely right that any competent specialist would see right through lies and bogus claims.  And one should NEVER lie to their doctor, especially about something like this.  At best it’s not ethical, at worst it’s potentially dangerous.  
 

That said… I brought up incontinence with my doctor several months ago and I was referred to a urologist which I begrudgingly went to. However I made it crystal clear from outset that:

 1.  I already wear diapers full time and am fine with it. I’m not looking for more treatment.

 2.  There’s a psychological component to my incontinence. 

3. I simply want it documented in my health history so I don’t get any eyebrow raises from medical providers when I have to disrobe in front of them.  

The urologist said in that case he had nothing to offer me.  He did document incontinence as the diagnosis and his recommendations for further urologic studies, but also noted that I declined workup. And that’s that.  Since then I’ve worn a diaper to several medical visits and had to disrobe on at least 2 occasions and nobody said anything.  So… mission accomplished!

I don’t know if any of this info is helpful or even pertinent, but I thought I’d share.

[spark]

1 hour ago, Enthusi said:

I “almost completely agree” ?.  Yes you are absolutely right that any competent specialist would see right through lies and bogus claims.  And one should NEVER lie to their doctor, especially about something like this.  At best it’s not ethical, at worst it’s potentially dangerous.  
 

That said… I brought up incontinence with my doctor several months ago and I was referred to a urologist which I begrudgingly went to. However I made it crystal clear from outset that:

 1.  I already wear diapers full time and am fine with it. I’m not looking for more treatment.

 2.  There’s a psychological component to my incontinence. 

3. I simply want it documented in my health history so I don’t get any eyebrow raises from medical providers when I have to disrobe in front of them.  

The urologist said in that case he had nothing to offer me.  He did document incontinence as the diagnosis and his recommendations for further urologic studies, but also noted that I declined workup. And that’s that.  Since then I’ve worn a diaper to several medical visits and had to disrobe on at least 2 occasions and nobody said anything.  So… mission accomplished!

I don’t know if any of this info is helpful or even pertinent, but I thought I’d share.

For what it is worth, I don't wear a diaper if I expect to disrobe.  I've worn for eye appointments, blood work, and I think I even wore when I visited my PCP back in August.   But being honest with your medical team is critical.

[~Brian~]

On 4/10/2022 at 1:23 PM, Cute_Kitten said:

Not sure what your situation is OP, but your post seems worried about friends and family accepting your need to wear diapers and having a medical excuse would make it seem more "legit".  If you're over 18, your medical records/ medical business is private info for you and your insurance/ doctors alone. Family can't have access unless you want them to. (Unless your individual circumstances are different, but generally that's how it goes). So if your friends/ family are nosy, just say "Yeah I got some health issues going on, it's fine don't worry but I really don't wanna discuss it." and leave it at that. It's your choice and yours alone if you wanna wear diapers 24/7, no doctor permission slip necessary. We only get one life to live.  But if you're having health issues/ want an incontinence diagnosis, I wish you well and best of luck. 

@Billy987

I agree with my esteemed colleague: I would not worry too much about medical excuses or what your family would think of you if you were wearing diapers. If there is a reason that you have for wearing such diapers, and you are over 18 years old as she states, your medical records as well as your medical status are private and only available to you and your medical team. The only way that your medical records can be disclosed to family members is if there is a bona fide reason for this. If you are experiencing issues, it is up to you to make the decision how to handle it, and if you decide that diapers are in your best interest, then that is what you have decided. I stand by this because I made that decision in 2019, and I refused to back down and Backstep, because life is too short, and there’s too many things that are more important than worrying about whether you can make it to the bathroom every single time. I’d rather have a wet diaper that I have to change, rather than to worry that I’m not gonna make it to the bathroom, or whether I’m going to hurt myself getting there. Diapers make it easier for me to be able to handle this, and I’m not sure if what you are worried about is the fact that your parents would find out and then think any less of you than they do now, but if you have a reason, it is up to you to decide how to handle who and what and how much to disclose about your condition, as well as when to disclose it. If there is no reason to disclose it, because you are the one who deals with it, you may not have to disclose: the only time you should disclose is if there’s somebody that you are living with, that you trust, or somebody that needs to know because they are your significant other/girlfriend/wife/partner, and they are living with you, or sleeping with you in a bed, and if you are a bedwetter, or something like this then it would be appropriate to disclose.

 As I have learned in the past, it is not necessary to disclose information to those who do not need to know. Disclosing information such as this to the wrong individual can backfire on you and cause you issues. However, if you are dealing with incontinence, Or fecal incontinence, or something else, and you choose not to take any medicine for it, that is your choice. I am sure that anyone who knows of you and how you are would also understand your reasoning, within the scope of the fact that you’re dealing with medical issues. When you were incontinent, you have to make that determination, and you have to make the decision that makes the most sense to you, and while you were thinking of that particular decision, you have to decide what is in your best interest. In my case, I did not want to be worrying about whether I was going to be wet, whether I was going to mass, or how I was going to deal with it: it’s way too easy to have someone just Misunderstand your motives, or your reasons, and then turn something that is embarrassing or debilitating against you. What I have learned from this experience is that diapers are not the enemy, they are your friends, and they will help you in ways that you will probably understand at some point: life is way too short to be worried about whether you are going to be wet or whether you’re going to be dry or whether you are going to mess, and whether or not you decide to tell your friends or your parents, that is up to you, but anybody who decides to look down upon you or put you down because you decide to wear a diaper because of some sort of incontinence, well, they have way too much time on their hands if all they’re going to do is turn around and make you feel bad for your decision. Diaper wearing has been some sort of “stigma“ for almost as long as I’ve been alive, which is approaching a half a century – people have to realize that diapers have a function, and whether or not someone agrees with that functioning, people use it. There are far more adults nowadays that are wearing diapers for whatever reason, then were wearing them probably 25 or 30 years ago. Times have changed, and sometimes what happens is people‘s attitudes don’t change along with it. There are what they call “normal” that people used to determine what is appropriate and what is not. Wearing a diaper is no different than wearing underwear, the only differences is that a diaper is something that you can release anything in, and I bet you every single person that wears diapers wears diapers for a good reason: “good reason“ is defined by each person separately, and each person who decides to make that decision makes it after thinking about what is in their best interest, what is in their best interest of their health, safety, sanity, psychological health, emotional health, spiritual health, etc. I can tell you from personal experience that the bestest decision I ever made was made in 2019, because I went to a doctor, I told him of my problem, I was experiencing things that were totally embarrassing and I could not help it, so I decided to throw down the gauntlet, suck it up and ask the doctor for help: when I returned on August 7 of 2019, I made my account here, and signed on, and the rest is history.

The next thing that you must deal with is acceptance of whether you wear diapers or not. This is not something that is going to be immediate, and it might take time. All I can say is that the best thing that you can do is to just make the decision that you think is in your best interest. If people don’t understand that, then they aren’t very good in trying to help you. There are people who may not understand the reasoning for wearing or using diapers, and I can understand that, but far too often and for far too long people have been put down, made fun of, and basically people who don’t understand the reasoning or the rational behind a decision tend to rip it apart make fun of it, or simply refuse to understand it: diapers are not the enemy, the enemy is people who don’t understand the diapers help people in more ways than one: ask anyone here including those that I posted above me, and they can tell you that there are people who feel better because they have diapers on, or because they use diapers: they make a decision as to how to live their life based on this, and there are people who are adult babies are diaper lovers or whatever, and that is based on what they think is in their best interest: those who would have made the choice to accept what they are dealing with understand what is going on, because they live it every day. When somebody makes a joke, or when they make fun of somebody that uses a diaper, it shows that someone does not understand or have that compassion that is needed: people need diapers for whatever reason, and it is not for us to decide whether or not the need is great, or whether a person actually is suffering from something that would require them to wear diapers. If you’re Incontinent you have a reason, if you have a disability that requires you to wear diapers, or one that wearing diapers would make it easier for you to deal with, you have a reason: if you feel like you wanna wear them because they make you feel good, you have a reason. All of these can be considered medical reasoning, and regardless of how many people rely on old style thinking, diapers do help people, and there are people who are obviously dealing with situations that are traumatic for some reason, and some people like to relive the days when they were little, when they didn’t have anything to worry about, where everybody took care of them, and a diaper is also a way to protect themselves from the real world:  Friends like @Kawaharucan tell you that she wears her diapers as a “badge of honor“ and that they “protect her“ from the adult world. Diapers help her to be able to live her life as an adult baby so she can live her life as an adult on her own terms. In my case, I am incontinent, and I like diapers, so that means I am a diaper lover, but part of the problem is that some people have to wear diapers for whatever reason, so what has to happen for some people is they have to find a way to be able to accept it and deal with it, so they may add aspects of the lifestyle to compensate. There is nothing inappropriate about wearing a diaper, or anything else as long as it is between consenting adults: no one should be able to tell you that wearing diapers is wrong, or inappropriate, because diapers are An underwear choice, and that is up to you – do not let anyone else tell you that you are wrong, because if it helps you to deal with the situation then it is the decision that you must make, and if you think you have made the right decision, then don’t worry about what anyone else says thinks or believes, because eventually it may actually come out that you wear diapers, but if you have a medical reasoning for some bona fide reason, I doubt Anyone is going to buck  that, and because you Are an adult, you have The power in your hands, and no one can disclose this information to anyone whom you do not authorize, unless of course there is some sort of an emergency situation where disclosure is necessary.

in other words I wouldn’t worry too much about what it’s gonna happen if somebody finds out. If they find out, then you would have to deal with it in an appropriate way, and what I would probably do is exactly what people have said: if it comes up, simply play it down and let people know that it is something that you are dealing with in an appropriate manner, and as long as it does not interfere with the way somebody else is living, then there should not be an issue. There are plenty of people who wear diapers on a daily basis, and they always have to deal with the inevitable: either going to be wet, messy or they are going to have to eventually change: how they deal with it is part of the cycle: if you are well prepared, changing a diaper is as easy as falling off a log, and cleaning up after yourself can be difficult but it is not impossible. Do not lose hope, for a diaper is your best friend: diapers don’t judge, they protect in more ways than one, and help people in ways that people who do not understand would never understand.

Hold your hand and your head up high, and just realize that it is you who is in the driver seat here: if you are over 18, there is nothing to worry about: what you describe is simply nervousness or worrying about something that you may have to worry about later, but I would much rather see an individual make a decision that helps them live their life to the best of their ability, rather than to have somebody be the “wet blanket“ and dump water all over you because you decide to wear diapers: there are a lot of people in this world that were diapers on a daily basis, and I can guarantee you that that will not change, in fact I believe that will increase, so take heart and understand that there are many of us that are behind you 100%, and we support you: you may not understand what you are experiencing, because it may be coming too fast, but you were on a journey that may take a long time to get to the level of acceptance that you need, but it will come in time. Just remember that a diaper will help you, and as long as you have the tools you need, a diaper is not a bad thing, and it never will be. The bad thing is people don’t understand why – and that can be the problem – very old axioms and very old norms that say that “babies wear diapers, not adults – that is bull crap“

Fear not hold your head up high: you are not alone – we are all on the journey together: how we got here may be different for each person here, our reasons for starting the journey are different for each person, our experiences are different for each person, and our stories are different from each person. The one thing that we share in common Is that we are here because of diapers: how we got here is irrelevant, but we are here, and no one is going to take away our diapers, and people who put us down that don’t understand will learn eventually, when someone straightens them out: don’t worry about that, just live your life to the fullest extent possible and enjoy it!

Brian