Is un-potty training yourself worth it?

[squishii]

Basically, I remember lurking around and coming across a post about un-potty training from a while ago. I thought it was an interesting idea and, now that I may have the opportunity to handle it, I considered doing it. But is it worth it? Please let me know.

[IminWetPampers]

While I’m not completely in-potty trained I am largely diaper dependent (on a good day if I concentrate and stay focused I can hold it for about 5 minutes before I wet my pants) so I do remain diapered 24/7. 

[DiapergirlWB]

That really depends on you.  I have gotten to the point where I wet reflexively. I can still hold with concentration but the longer I wait the more likely I will wet myself (only had to do this once in the past month. It was nerve wracking).  So this means I have to take precautions.  Must have a changing bag.  I keep a spare set of clothes in my car too.  I always get changed in a place where accidents are easy to clean up.  I have peed on the bathroom floor getting in and out of the shower multiple times I put a mat down now.  You will learn the difference between always using a diaper and needing to use a diaper, that is quite the revelation.  At night I find myself waking only enough to wet and go back to sleep without really thinking about it.  Would probably wet the bed without a diaper.  So there is a lot to think about.  i am really happy with where I am and am looking forwards to what is still coming so not naysaying you.

 

[ozziebee]

Are you wishing to go 24/7?  

At the start, it may sound quite easy to do, and it is.

But then there's everything else to consider - friends and family reactions, disclosing nappy use to doctors and hospitals, employment implications, financial cost of nappies and associated products, the need to change at inconvenient moments, the resulting rubbish and smells, and finally the changes your body will go through as you advance down the road to true 24/7.  The road is very long (many many years).

You may be able to train your body to go wet and/or mess in your nappies, but it's a slippery slope from there to 24/7 with a difficult potty-training to get back control.  

Think about what you want.  There's lots of support on here for if you start down the path to 24/7.  

[rusty pins]

It all depends on what you yourself want to do and how much you want it.  Some people have done it and never looked back.  Others have done it and wished they hadn't.  Just think it through carefully.  At age 22 your hormones are still raging and affecting your common sense.  Once you are incontinent, it's nearly impossible to regain any control.  At age 22, do you really want to spend the next 3/4 of your life 100% in diapers with no options?  If you live to age 88, that's 66 years in diapers, 3 times longer that the life you have lived so far.

What future plans do you have for your life?  If you want to go into politics, it will be hard for you to run for office and hide the fact you are in diapers.  Everyone will be doing all they can to dig up dirt on you.  How about teaching school to kids?  Even if it is a medical issue, it only takes one type of parent to find out and that could be the end of your job.  The school will not want a problem should it come out so they may take the point of terminating you, even though you could hire a lawyer and fight it.  

What type of job or career do you plan on having, and how might it be affected if you are in diapers 24/7/365?  What about having a job where you have to travel with a coworker and share a hotel room?  What about marriage, family and kids?  How about active sports you like?  How would it be at age 24 running up and down a basketball court wearing a thick bulky wet sagging chafing diaper under shorts that is obvious to all watching the game?  How would you feel about changing clothes in a locker room full of other guys and having them see you in your diaper?  Or after the game and a shower having to diaper yourself in the locker room in front of them before dressing in your street clothes?

Then you have to consider things like the monthly cost of diapers and other supporting supplies like wipes, ointments and waterproof pants which can take a good chunk out of your pay.  Also, you will have to carry a diaper bag and even an emergency change of clothing with you every where you go every day of the year.  What happens when you are leaking or about to leak and there is no place to go change your diaper, or having to change your diaper in a bathroom stall with other people hearing you and knowing just what you are doing?  Having to somehow carry a diaper and any changing supplies into the nearest restroom, including a store where you may be ask what's in the bag or be made to leave it at the front of the store?  Having to open the bag to a stranger, show them the contents and tell them you need to change your diaper and these are your changing supplies?  All your friends, family and possibly coworkers mayy eventually find out no matter how much you try and hide it, at least the ones you are close to and see every day.  How are you going to explain to your doctor when you go for a physical or check up why you are suddenly wearing diapers?  How about when you go swimming?  You wear a diaper in the pool everyone will know the second you get out.  A disposable diaper will not hold up in a pool and a cloth diaper will be come so totally saturated that the second you get out of the pool it will sag to the point of fallng down.  All that in front of everyone else at the pool or beach.

24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year for the next 60+ years.  It may sound exciting right now but the luster may soon wear off.  By then it will be too late to do anything about it.  Think about it really good before you decide.  I like to wear diapers but I have the options of not losing my control or un-potty training.  I can still wear my diapers as often as I want, but I have the option of not wearing diapers when I don't want to, when it would not be a good idea, around some friends or coworkers, when I wear shorts or go to the beach, when I play sports or have to change clothing in a locker room or around someone else.  Just the fact that I have my bladder and bowel control means I have a choice that is not available to someone who has unpotty trained and has no choice but to be diapered 100% of the time.  Remember, you don't have to physically untrain yourself and lose your bladder control to wear diapers.  You can still wear them as often as you like without becoming incontinent.

[oznl]

10 hours ago, squishii said:

Basically, I remember lurking around and coming across a post about un-potty training from a while ago. I thought it was an interesting idea and, now that I may have the opportunity to handle it, I considered doing it. But is it worth it? Please let me know.

There are really only subjective answers to such a question.  Both factors in the effort/reward calculation will vary wildly from individual to another.

As others have pointed out however, you’ll have a LONG time to think about whether such a move is working for you personally along the way.  @ozziebee is right.  It’s not like you’ll be incontinent by next Tuesday: that's just fantasy.   The “try before you buy” maxim is kind of built in with this venture.

De-training also won’t happen by accident (no pun intended).  There are plenty of people who have been permanently diapered for very many years and are still fully continent.  Choosing to pee in a nappy instead of a toilet will not of itself degrade continence.  Rather it’s the persistent practice of NOT exploiting your body’s capacity for timed voiding that changes things.

I’ve been doing that for more than 3 years.  I’m a bed wetter now and that’s something I need to plan for.  That did sneak up on me.  By the time I realised I was bedwetting, that behaviour was baked in.  During the day though, even at this point, I can be (fairly) continent if I need to be but I have very limited range and urgency issues to the point where for many things, it’s simply more practical for me to be in a nappy.  A road trip without a nappy would be frustrating for everybody and very uncomfortable for me now.

Looking back to when I was your age however, making myself dependent on nappies would have severely limited a lot of my life.   @rusty pins pointed out a lot of that.   It's different now for me but who is to say that my circumstances align with yours.  Only you can tell. 

It’s something you need to think about but you can safely go 24/7 for a while (maybe a few months) to see what you think about it.  I'd suggest you try that if you're interested and don't be afraid to walk away from it if it doesn't work for you.  It's meant to make your life better, not worse.

[PuraVidaDip]

3 hours ago, rusty pins said:

It all depends on what you yourself want to do and how much you want it.  Some people have done it and never looked back.  Others have done it and wished they hadn't.  Just think it through carefully.  At age 22 your hormones are still raging and affecting your common sense.  Once you are incontinent, it's nearly impossible to regain any control.  At age 22, do you really want to spend the next 3/4 of your life 100% in diapers with no options?  If you live to age 88, that's 66 years in diapers, 3 times longer that the life you have lived so far.

What future plans do you have for your life?  If you want to go into politics, it will be hard for you to run for office and hide the fact you are in diapers.  Everyone will be doing all they can to dig up dirt on you.  How about teaching school to kids?  Even if it is a medical issue, it only takes one type of parent to find out and that could be the end of your job.  The school will not want a problem should it come out so they may take the point of terminating you, even though you could hire a lawyer and fight it.  

What type of job or career do you plan on having, and how might it be affected if you are in diapers 24/7/365?  What about having a job where you have to travel with a coworker and share a hotel room?  What about marriage, family and kids?  How about active sports you like?  How would it be at age 24 running up and down a basketball court wearing a thick bulky wet sagging chafing diaper under shorts that is obvious to all watching the game?  How would you feel about changing clothes in a locker room full of other guys and having them see you in your diaper?  Or after the game and a shower having to diaper yourself in the locker room in front of them before dressing in your street clothes?

Then you have to consider things like the monthly cost of diapers and other supporting supplies like wipes, ointments and waterproof pants which can take a good chunk out of your pay.  Also, you will have to carry a diaper bag and even an emergency change of clothing with you every where you go every day of the year.  What happens when you are leaking or about to leak and there is no place to go change your diaper, or having to change your diaper in a bathroom stall with other people hearing you and knowing just what you are doing?  Having to somehow carry a diaper and any changing supplies into the nearest restroom, including a store where you may be ask what's in the bag or be made to leave it at the front of the store?  Having to open the bag to a stranger, show them the contents and tell them you need to change your diaper and these are your changing supplies?  All your friends, family and possibly coworkers mayy eventually find out no matter how much you try and hide it, at least the ones you are close to and see every day.  How are you going to explain to your doctor when you go for a physical or check up why you are suddenly wearing diapers?  How about when you go swimming?  You wear a diaper in the pool everyone will know the second you get out.  A disposable diaper will not hold up in a pool and a cloth diaper will be come so totally saturated that the second you get out of the pool it will sag to the point of fallng down.  All that in front of everyone else at the pool or beach.

24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year for the next 60+ years.  It may sound exciting right now but the luster may soon wear off.  By then it will be too late to do anything about it.  Think about it really good before you decide.  I like to wear diapers but I have the options of not losing my control or un-potty training.  I can still wear my diapers as often as I want, but I have the option of not wearing diapers when I don't want to, when it would not be a good idea, around some friends or coworkers, when I wear shorts or go to the beach, when I play sports or have to change clothing in a locker room or around someone else.  Just the fact that I have my bladder and bowel control means I have a choice that is not available to someone who has unpotty trained and has no choice but to be diapered 100% of the time.  Remember, you don't have to physically untrain yourself and lose your bladder control to wear diapers.  You can still wear them as often as you like without becoming incontinent.

Good points here especially the age and future considerations. Cost is high and that needs to be budgeted. I’d argue for 4-5 diapers a day to keep you hydrated and happy and skin in good condition. So that’s expensive plus wipes, bags, single accommodations when traveling can definitely add up. 

Nondiscrimination acts for disabilities should cover you at work. 

Swimmates swim diapers and a cover like the My Pool Pal are super easy to hide under swimsuits. For exiting pool if you BM. But otherwise no way to tell. But then changing has to be planned out. If pool then bathroom (need a diaper bag) or if ocean or lake (skip the swimmates) it’s run into the body of water and stay away from others!

Much to consider here. It’s not always a choice but it could be a choice that makes your life easier and better. That’s up for everyone to choose.

[squishii]

Alright, thanks for everybody's responses! I'm grateful any of you even bothered replying and giving me any help, and it has severely affected my thoughts on if I should do it or not. After a long, thorough reading of everyones replies, I've decided not to un potty train. HOWEVER, I will be wearing diapers much more often. While I can't go 24/7, I will probably be able to wear them for most of the day. Still, thank you all! 

[Little Cub Pants]

1 hour ago, squishii said:

Alright, thanks for everybody's responses! I'm grateful any of you even bothered replying and giving me any help, and it has severely affected my thoughts on if I should do it or not. After a long, thorough reading of everyones replies, I've decided not to un potty train. HOWEVER, I will be wearing diapers much more often. While I can't go 24/7, I will probably be able to wear them for most of the day. Still, thank you all! 

Why won't you be able to wear diapies 24/7??? Or do you even want to????

[squishii]

2 minutes ago, BabySpiderBoy said:

Why won't you be able to wear diapies 24/7?

Well, I'm not sure if I have the correct definition of 24/7, but it means all the time right? There are times where I can't wear diapers, although they aren't usually long times.

 

3 minutes ago, BabySpiderBoy said:

Or do you even want to????

Oh, trust me. I definitely want to. The thought of not having to use big boy toilets and instead exclusively use diapers is incredibly pleasing and definitely something I want to do. 

[Kawaharu]

Well for me, I am un potty trained and I am diaper dependent and diapered permanently. I don't own any adult underwear because adult underwear is for grown ups and for me, I am kept diapered all the time. I'm also an adult baby and it helps me deal with being incontinent and being kept in diapers.

[rusty pins]

By the way, I wrote a long post above that apparently confused someone.  If anyone is confused about something I wrote, feel free to post a question here about what they are confused about and I will try and clarify it for them.

[PuraVidaDip]

On 1/29/2022 at 3:19 PM, squishii said:

Well, I'm not sure if I have the correct definition of 24/7, but it means all the time right? There are times where I can't wear diapers, although they aren't usually long times.

 

Oh, trust me. I definitely want to. The thought of not having to use big boy toilets and instead exclusively use diapers is incredibly pleasing and definitely something I want to do. 

As another mentioned, you likely have many decades ahead of you and can make that decision later in life. 

[MLDK]

I have been diapered 24/7 for almost a decade, and I have maybe lost only a small amount of bladder capacity, I’m no closer to being incontinent than when I first began wearing. I tested my ability for some time last year. mind you, that was after nine years of wearing and using diapers 24/7, never holding back intentionally. I didn’t have one single wetting accident, though I now dribble a lot more than before, but true incontinence, no!

I wet more easily when in diapers, and my bladder sometimes just releases without warning or urge, however whenever I’m not in diapers, nothing unexpected happens. Never peed on the floor when going for a shower, or peed in my pants.

 

 

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

In a word: No It deprives you of options. It is one thing to romanticize incontinence: It is another thing to live it Things become a whole lot different when you HAVE to do them; for one thing, it is not done at you leisure, but at its own time and place. Let me quote 3 Fairy proverbs that stand on their own merits, but are used together

1. Magic does not give you what you want. It gives you what you ask for
2. To cheat a fool, give her that for which she asks
3. To lie to a liar, speak the truth; and she will run herself through on it

[Little Cub Pants]

31 minutes ago, MLDK said:

I have been diapered 24/7 for almost a decade, and I have maybe lost only a small amount of bladder capacity, I’m no closer to being incontinent than when I first began wearing. I tested my ability for some time last year. mind you, that was after nine years of wearing and using diapers 24/7, never holding back intentionally. I didn’t have one single wetting accident, though I now dribble a lot more than before, but true incontinence, no!

I wet more easily when in diapers, and my bladder sometimes just releases without warning or urge, however whenever I’m not in diapers, nothing unexpected happens. Never peed on the floor when going for a shower, or peed in my pants.

 

 

That must be because your body knows when it's not diapered and it has big boy underwear on.? Our bodies can be really smart sometimes. I know this may sound gross but, try going potty in your underwear even when you're NOT diapered. It will feel awkward at first but in time as you start going in your underwear eventually your body will get use to it and recognize it's a good thing. Keep it up and your body will even start to do it subconsciously. It's not just about being physically incontinent, it's also about being MENTALLY incontinent. Do that and trust me, you'll be pooing and peeing yourself just like an toddler again!☺️????? LOL!???? Good luck buddy, I hope it helps!????❤️??❤️???

[MLDK]

10 hours ago, BabySpiderBoy said:

That must be because your body knows when it's not diapered and it has big boy underwear on.? Our bodies can be really smart sometimes. I know this may sound gross but, try going potty in your underwear even when you're NOT diapered. It will feel awkward at first but in time as you start going in your underwear eventually your body will get use to it and recognize it's a good thing. Keep it up and your body will even start to do it subconsciously. It's not just about being physically incontinent, it's also about being MENTALLY incontinent. Do that and trust me, you'll be pooing and peeing yourself just like an toddler again!☺️????? LOL!???? Good luck buddy, I hope it helps!????❤️??❤️???

You May have a point! Maybe the subconscious fears of leaks are holding me back? Combined with fear of being found out, and being ridiculed.

however even though my wife is “ok” with occasional leaks, I doubt she will be fine with completely soaked pants all the time, and that I’m doing nothing to prevent them. She’s ok with me wearing and using diapers. I convinced her, that I need them. I know I have been deceiving her, but my need to be in diapers are simply too strong for me.

I may try your suggestion, and focus more on exercising no control, regardless of me being diapered or not.

 

[Pampertimmy]

I think it really depends on the person. One thing to remember, this is not a two week course. To become really diaper dependant (un-potty trained) will take years and might not ever fully happen. For me, it has been many years of trying, and trying, and trying. Even today I’m not fully un-potty trained. I still feel the need to go but I can’t hold it (if I tried which I don’t) very long at all. I am diapered full-time and don’t trying to hold it so I guess you could say I’m not potty trained. I have however become a true bedwetter. There isn’t a morning when I don’t wake up in a wet diaper. A warning for anyone who wants to really give this a go. Make sure this is really what you want. It does change your life. I won’t go without a day-time diaper and have to bring a diaper bag with me at all times. I also can’t go a night without a diaper or I would have a very wet bed every morning. I love that I’m mostly un-potty trained but it works for me. I won’t work for everyone.

[PuraVidaDip]

On 2/1/2022 at 1:11 AM, MLDK said:

You May have a point! Maybe the subconscious fears of leaks are holding me back? Combined with fear of being found out, and being ridiculed.

however even though my wife is “ok” with occasional leaks, I doubt she will be fine with completely soaked pants all the time, and that I’m doing nothing to prevent them. She’s ok with me wearing and using diapers. I convinced her, that I need them. I know I have been deceiving her, but my need to be in diapers are simply too strong for me.

I may try your suggestion, and focus more on exercising no control, regardless of me being diapered or not.

 

Yeah try going without and wet and mess your pants a few times and she won’t let you go without again! 

On 1/29/2022 at 3:19 PM, squishii said:

Well, I'm not sure if I have the correct definition of 24/7, but it means all the time right? There are times where I can't wear diapers, although they aren't usually long times.

 

Oh, trust me. I definitely want to. The thought of not having to use big boy toilets and instead exclusively use diapers is incredibly pleasing and definitely something I want to do. 

There is no definition of 24/7 but it generally means you are wearing diapers and or some absorbent product any time you aren’t in the shower in the water. Some people are 24/7 for wetting some are for both.

There is no governing authority, there is no card issued, no one is going to follow you to ensure you are doing it “right.” It’s all subjective. 

For me it started as 24/7 no toilets. I now will dribble in the toilet while I change, and though I use my diaper for messing, I try and empty the mess into the toilet. TMI but it will fall off my ass into the toilet but not out of my ass.

I have some true incontinence issues and the diaper solution was half assed for me and I’d kept on having accidents do I decided for me it’s everything goes in my diaper, or if I’m not diapered it goes into where ever I am at the time including the floor, so I truly need to be 24/7 diapered.

But others, especially those without any fecal incontinence can decide hey they 24/7 but that really means 23.5/7 because they use the potty for poops. Again there is no authority so you define that for yourself. 

If you can’t be in a diaper all the time, you can’t really unpotty train so it’s a moot point for you it seems. You can always go for a week or so 24/7 and build up from there, going back and forth. If at some point you decide to go for it, you have a better idea of the pros and cons because you’ve trained for it. 

[oznl]

10 hours ago, PuraVidaDip said:

If you can’t be in a diaper all the time, you can’t really unpotty train so it’s a moot point for you it seems. You can always go for a week or so 24/7 and build up from there, going back and forth. If at some point you decide to go for it, you have a better idea of the pros and cons because you’ve trained for it. 

I did this. It's a great way to get a taste of it and also learn logistically how to do it with the safety-net of backing out of diapers if you need to.  In late 2018, I started going 24/7 here and there.  A few days here, a few days there.  Then I did a week of 24/7.  Then I tried an interstate business trip 24/7.

Then, on December 27th of 2018, I said "yep, this is do-able" and went 24/7 indefinitely.  There was a 2 - 3 week sabbatical in March 2019 I think but that didn't last.

I've been 24/7 ever since.  I can still go without during the day if I have to but I'm 100% nappy-dependent at night now.  I've no regrets but I'm much older.

[spark]

6 hours ago, oznl said:

I did this. It's a great way to get a taste of it and also learn logistically how to do it with the safety-net of backing out of diapers if you need to.  In late 2018, I started going 24/7 here and there.  A few days here, a few days there.  Then I did a week of 24/7.  Then I tried an interstate business trip 24/7.

Then, on December 27th of 2018, I said "yep, this is do-able" and went 24/7 indefinitely.  There was a 2 - 3 week sabbatical in March 2019 I think but that didn't last.

I've been 24/7 ever since.  I can still go without during the day if I have to but I'm 100% nappy-dependent at night now.  I've no regrets but I'm much older.

Your and my paths are very similar, and with a similar time line.  I think I crossed the 50% barrier some time around 2016.     At would wear at home.  I think I started to fly in diapers about 2017, rather than Pull Ups.   In 2019 I went to Norway, Vietnam, Singapore, back to San Francisco.  It was an 18-day trip.  I used Pull Ups and Diapers, and rationed my diapers.  I was diapered for every flight, and used mostly Pull Ups.  I don't typically wet at night, so Pull Ups were fine for night time.

For some unexplained reason, I spent a lot more time at home in March of 2020?  Being at home by myself most of the time meant that it was more natural to just use the diaper, so I'm probably dependent on my diaper.  Now, I still use the toilet for #2, and I do pee in the toilet to extend my diaper.  

What I've wondered about, and if you read my current story, is how long this process would take if using the toilet was not an option, and I was not responsible- nor allowed to deal with my diaper.  That would 100% on somebody else.   My suspicion is that my ability to avoid would completely disappear much faster.

Much like you, I have no regrets with my current level of continence.   I'm way more comfortable with a diaper than I am without one.  Going  back to even 2000, I realized that if my access to toilet was restricted (I.E- car trip, middle seat,  class), I would need to pee soon after sitting down.  Once I had confidence that my diaper could handle it, if needed, I didn't have the need to use it.   Now I don't even concern myself with that.

[herb330]

I have been diapered 24/7 for several years.  At first it was tough getting used to.  After a while it became normal.  All of my underwear were thrown out.  The toilet is under lock and key  only used to disposed of my waste by my wife who changes me..  After a while your body get's used to just letting the urges happen.