How long did it take you to experience your first 'wetting without knowing'?

[DBiker]

I'm interested to know from anyone who has followed the 12 month diaper program or worn for extended periods of time with the intention to become incontinent, how long did it take you to experience your first episode of wetting without knowing? By this I don't mean full incontinence, but rather when you still had control but first started to notice you'd occasionally be wet when you checked your diaper and not know when you'd wet.

The 12 month diaper program states that "Find yourself in a wet diaper and not remember doing it" is in month 7. Is this roughly what others have found, or did this take you less or more time?

[Enthusi]

I didn’t do the 12 month program.  But I’d say a year or so into untraining.  
 

The first time I remember was when I was at Disney and I had to quickly walk from the back to the front of a crowded park.  Afterwards I was feeling clammy, more so than normal sweat and I check and my diaper was soaked.   It totally caught me off guard… in a good way. 

[herb330]

After being placed into diapers' it was quite soon that I lost the control.  of course I did not mind it since I have protection

[Baby Foo Foo]

It wasn't long at all for me because the disorder that happened to me in my mid 30's and it happened to me like overnight left me incontinent and with other side effects. So I went from one day in my mid 30's from driving a car, working, being able to use the toilet, being able to walk without being off balance to the next day when this Rare Neurological disorder hit me to losing all of that and even some more as well as having horrible head pain chronically. To top it all off my official diagnosis did not come until years later because the doctors couldn't really figure exactly what was going on with me. But to answer the question, right after this came on I started going both pee and poo with no control and having to completely rely on a diaper. Needless to say I was quite confused and frustrated for some time. 

[BabyJilly_S]

Been wearing at least a year. I believe I have unconsciously wet (though never 100% sure) when asleep a few times, during the day I still know when I start going, though it seems I can't feel it going. I have found that on occasion if I start going (say stood up making a cup of tea) when I start moving I am surprised to find that I am still going as moving turns the flow off....

[Little Sherri]

I'm a bit more than 2.5 years into living 24/7 in diapers, although I haven't pursued un-training specifically, but rather, my habits have been shaped by diaper wearing "best practices". Diapers contend with regular, small small discharges much better than infrequent deluges; they are way less likely to leak, and, you get more range out of them. Having lived like that for a while, my tolerance for holding has declined, and one thing I've lost is the ability to stop an event, once it's begun, but, that said, most of the time, nothing happens unless I let it happen. MOST of the time. There have been a few instances, usually involving alcohol, where my diaper was wetter than I recall letting it become. I think sometimes this has to do with my generally having very little feedback from the plumbing, specifically no sensation of an event stopping - my typical experience is feeling a slight urge to go, maybe every 20 - 35 minutes, allowing the gates to open, but not pushing at all, and the pressure peters off pretty quickly, but I don't "cinch up" at the end, like you would if you were using a toilet. Things just stop of their own accord, and often with no feeling that they've done so. 

My theory is that on the occasions where I realized that my diaper seemed to have gotten wet "by itself", its not that I just suddenly started leaking into my diaper and wasn't aware of it, but rather, that I opened the gates up deliberately at some point, but then, they never fully closed again, and a low-level trickle continued for some time. Maybe I'm fooling myself. 

Overnight is another story; I've been sleeping in diapers for more than three years, and while I am not a reliable involuntary bedwetter, it definitely does happen from time to time. I go to bed in a dry diaper, sleep like a rock, and wake up wet, with no recollection of how it happened. 

[ThomasInWVa]

1 hour ago, Little Sherri said:

Diapers contend with regular, small small discharges much better than infrequent deluges; they are way less likely to leak, and, you get more range out of them.

Hit this sub forum by accident and this line caught my eye. It was accurate years ago but these days, good quality disposables can easily handle multiple "deluges" in an 8 hour period. I'm 24/7 due to actual incontinence. There are times when I'll retain urine and it can be released in a torrent. Diapers like BetterDry can handle this without much of a problem. The only time it may be an issue I've experienced is when lying on my back or sides at night. In those situations, a heavy torrent can leak a bit. 

But overall, modern disposables are very good at handling multiple heavy flows. This is by design as more older adults are not fully incontinent but have control issues. They will retain urine as usual but suddenly lose control at times. So modern adult diapers are made to handle this condition. 

Interestingly enough, they are best suited for often moderate releases rather than constant wetting. Constant wetting tends to saturate the absorbent material in a local area that leads to early clumping and breakup of the matting. Occasional moderate releases allow the urine to flow to unsaturated material before being absorbed. This allows the diaper to absorb across it s surface. 

So modern diapers like BetterDry work better when having moderate to heavy releases rather than a constant light drips. And they are designed to work best when sitting or standing. Even a male wetting in the front will often allow wetness to reach the back of the diaper over time. 

[DiapergirlWB]

I've never worn long enough to go from a dry diaper to a we one without noticing but I have had instances where I didnt remember exactally how many times I wet over a period of time.

 

[Little Sherri]

56 minutes ago, ThomasInWVa said:

So modern diapers like BetterDry work better when having moderate to heavy releases rather than a constant light drips.

I have worn BetterDry's on occasion, but they aren't my main go-to product, so I will defer to you on what kind of use pattern they support best, and you being actually incontinent makes you an expert on the topic, whereas I am what you might call a seasoned amateur. In general, my experience with the diapers I wear most often during the day, which are the Rearz "medium weight" diapers (like their Lil' Monsters) and Northshore's Megamax, is that they do a tremendous job of soaking up a big release, as you say, but, if you send episodic monsoon rivers migrating across their landscapes in search of unsaturated ground, they can find the edges and overwhelm them. This may be a case of the shape of my body, coupled with the fact that I'm almost always either sitting in an office chair, or driving, when I wear them, and perhaps my individual retention capacity, and maybe the phase of the moon as well, all having an effect, so everyone's mileage may vary. When I used to get caught up with work or with driving, and unconsciously go back into old patterns of holding it for hours, when I finally did let go, I had to be careful with the download speeds I allowed, or else I would end up with a wet spot on the back of my pants. 

So, I got in the habit over the first year or so of being in diapers, of trying to remember to go frequently. Not constantly, but at least a couple of times an hour. Doing that has allowed me to get very respectable range out of the higher-end products in my wardrobe, such as the Rearz/InControl Elite Hybride, or their Alpaca, or Bambino's Magnifico, for example. I have been able to wear one diaper for upwards of 18 to 20 hours, if some of that time was during sleep, when I don't wet very much, and usually the reason I have to take it off is not because it's at absolute capacity, but rather, because it has become so swollen that I look like I have a dead raccoon jammed down my pants, and I can't really go anywhere anymore without looking ridiculous. The medium-weight diapers I discussed before usually give me 8  - 10 hours of reliable service. 

[oznl]

I didn’t specifically follow the 12 month program but I went 24/7 nearly 3 years ago and immediately stopped bothering to control peeing, making an effort to remain empty at all times.

Interestingly, I believe it was overnight where “wetting without knowing” started although the early incidents were accompanied by “pee dreams”.  I think this was just short of a year in.  After a while the pee dreams became optional but I was still consistently finding my night nappy to be wetter than I could remember by morning.  Eventually (after about 2 years) I went without a nappy for a couple of nights and found that I would unconsciously wet the bed.  To this day, I suspect I “wet the bed” 2 – 3 nights per week but I’m honestly not sure.  Sometimes I suspect it’s every night and I just don’t notice.  It’s hard to tell because I’m usually a bit wet when I get into bed.

The dominant narrative says that "bedwetting" is the LAST thing to manifest, not the first but a few (and my own experience) suggests that this isn't a hard and fast rule.  I'm not sure if I'm actually incontinent whilst asleep or (more likely) simply "nappy trained".

I still don’t think I’m incontinent during the day although I regularly forget that I’ve used my nappy and occasionally, I’ll realise that I’ve started wetting myself and not be entirely sure when I decided to do that (but I STILL think that I did “decide” to do it for some reason).  I no longer think before peeing which I realise might be problematic if I wasn't wearing my nappy.

I’ve found that I’ve gotten VERY used to wetting myself and being wet so it all gets a bit blurry about what happened when.

[DLJeff52]

Love the question! I'm in week 3, so nothing compared to the previous responders, but yet I can connect already with some of what they are sharing.

1.  I very much feel the sensation of about to pee and 95% of the time need to mentally "ok" to start the flow.  The other 5% usually happens when I'm super hydrated and/or standing and/or distracted and I just start peeing with much less sensation or conscious decision.  I also tend to lose a lot of "awareness" as to if I'm still going or not, but occasionally feel the warmth and a sensation spreading that I can only assume is more wetting occurring. 

2.  I have had a handful of times where I have wet my nighttime diaper without waking, but it has only been the first wetting, I've pretty much woken up for the other 3 or so wettings that follow.

3.  I did have one time where I forgot I hadn't put my new diaper and had to take a call and just began peeing, aware but not a conscious release, only to feel my pants get soaked as I was on the phone.

Great question! I can only look forward to more "unawareness" moving forward!

[sparklezBear]

I've just posted my own thread with my 9-month 24/7 update. At this point, I do wet my nappy a bit without knowing unless paying particular attention. I would say that maybe up to 20% of my wetting is without knowing. However, I would say also, with girl parts, it's particularly hard to wet more than a slow dribble without knowing. The sensation is always present for any significant amount I think. Does that means I'm wetting knowingly if I didn't consciously start the release?