Maybe All It Takes Is A Change Of Mindset

[dlsafrica]

When parents etc (ie or anyone really) don't know how to deal with discovering an interest in diapers in someone, no matter what age, and say something like "if you want to act like a baby you'll be treated like one" as an intended deterent or even punishment (not knowing that it doesn't just go away)... maybe it would be psychologically easier all round if it were replaced by "if you want to be treated like a baby, you can be one".

[~Brian~]

@dlsafrica

Part of the problem is, as I see it:  Parents want their kids to be kids, and they want them to enjoy childhood, and when they reach a milestone, they are happy as heck that they did reach that milestone.  They also know they have to take care of you for 18+ years, and they try to potty train you when you are 1.5 or 2.5 years old, so that they don't have to deal with diapers as much.  Sure, you will have a wet bed or maybe an accident every once and awhile, and that is to be expected, but when you make it out of diapers, they have made it to a plateau, and they probably don't expect to have to use diapers as much, but in some cases, they train too early, or they try to do it, and the kid isn't READY for it, and the main thing is: CHILDREN have to be the ones to tell you when they are ready, and sometimes, it does not work the way the parents think it should.

As far as the old addage:  "If you want to be ACT like a Baby, you will be Treated like One:"  This is something that parents usually hang over our heads when they think that we are acting particularly juvenile or baby-like.  Sometimes, kids "lose it" and they just don't know how to handle the emotions they are dealing with, so they throw a tantrum, and Mom or Dad can't deal with it, so they threaten us with that.  I had that happen to a cousin of mine, who was 10, and he was told to go to bed.  He didn't want to, because he wanted to stay up late with me and our Grandmother, but he had summer school in the morning, and even though it was for 4 hours, he threw a tantrum that was so bad, that my uncle threatened to Diaper him, and have him sleep with his baby sister, in her crib (who was 2 at the time) and I had to go in there and straighten him out, because I was like "WOAH......His brother and Sister are YOUNGER than him, and they are doing what they are supposed to do, and he's doing THIS?? ......NOT happening."  I gave him a lecture and told him to calm down, and I listened to him tell me why he was mad....we straightened it out. 

Sometimes, emotions are stronger than your ability to deal with them, and sometimes, I think parents OVER REACT to them, and can't deal with them.  I can't tell you how many times my parents were "sick of me, and my supposed 'excuses', and threatened to send me to live with my FATHER".....which was NOT an option - I even had Dad speak to my mom several times, because I was concerned that they keep changing rules, and they were drinking, and that changed things somewhat.  I even called my DAD down to my house, in an effort to shut MOM down, because she was threatening to kick me out again and again, and I got sick of it:  I wanted someone to understand me, and Dad came down, and told me a story of him being 17, and why he joined the Navy.........  (I was 17 at the time too) I betcha @Evelyn Dellcerro would get a laugh outta that, and I know I did:  Dad said he left home BECAUSE of the garbage that I was experiencing;  I couldn't leave home: I just got sick of being DISRESPECTED because my parents were thinking they were "always right" and I was "always in trouble or WRONG."   Parents need to be reminded that WORDS and ACTIONS are always being processed by children, and they REMEMBER things: Parents leave "marks" and thoughts in the heads of their kids, and they may cause damage that is irreparable!   This situation was nowhere NEAR as bad as what happened to @amorfraldaJR, but it could have gone that way if I didn't call for my Dad - and all because I didn't wanna hear any more bad stuff that happened during my parents marriage that had to do with my late brother - that were being blamed on HIM and projected to ME  - That made me lose it:  I called Dad - I needed him at my side.  I told him to help me deal with this, or I was gonna say something I would regret.....He DID

If you are past 2-3 or 4 years old, that probably means you are trained, and you don't need diapers anymore.  However, if you have to use diapers or you WANT to wear and use diapers, this DOES NOT make you a baby, any more than liking them makes you one.  There are PLENTY of adults out there that wear, Wear and use, or are incontinent, and they are NOT babies.  I think anyone who makes the choice to deal with incontinence by using Incontinence Products should be RESPECTED, and anyone who wants to wear or use diapers or "baby equipment" should be allowed to do so without being looked down upon.

Parents think that by regressing you, or making you/treating you like a baby is gonna change your attitude and behavior:  It may, but I doubt that they will be looked on in good favor:  In @Glennie's case, it was HELL for him, and I think parents should really think about what they say to or threaten their kids with: because it can and often DOES cause problems for them.

20 hours ago, dlsafrica said:

maybe it would be psychologically easier all round if it were replaced by "if you want to be treated like a baby, you can be one".

Maybe, but usually, if you were to respond to your parents that you "wanted to be one" (baby) they would NOT make it fun or easy, and they would make you feel less of a man/woman than you are.  If you are an ADULT, you can make the decision, but as a kid, you cannot.

Brian

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

I am not here to judge anyone or tell anyone what to do or say. I was raised by two very loving caring parents. I was raised with common sense. I was never censored and was never told or given an hour to go to sleep. I was never told what to watch and when to watch it. I was taught responsibility at a very young age. I knew I had school, and I knew I had to get sleep (no brainer). From discussions with my mom I was potty trained by 23 months and never peed the bed or my pants for that matter. I do admit that by age 10, I was very curious and knew I had different feelings from other children. I knew I was bisexual already, because I had feelings for males and females. This curiousity led me to try many things. By age 12, I tried pooping my panties and I liked it.

By age 13, I was pooping diapers and loved it. I enjoyed sex at a young age with both male and females my age. I was promiscuous and I wanted to try everything. This was the late 70s. No internet, no video games. We went to the park. we rode bikes, we played stickball. We went outside. I still cant for the life of me get used to seeing kids staying inside a house and rotting their brains for hours playing video games. Now that is my opinion. That was not entertainment for me as a child and it never will be.

@dlsafrica My nephew was kicked out of his home at 13 because he told his father he was gay. Not the easiest thing for a 13 yr old to handle. I handled it, and I raised him from age 13. He is now 18 and a diaper lover and a very loving man. I admit I was a very big influence on him, and I take no shame and have no regrets in raising my diaper loving gay nephew. He is the love of my life and if I had to do it all over again I would do it over and over. It doesnt take a little mindset, it takes a lot. Parents listen to your children and guide them. Husbands listen to your wives, wives listen to your husbands. A piece of plastic with padding is not a crime, but many sure make it look that way.

[scorepio]

Brilliantly stated!

[Transfusionelle]

Whether its a change of mindset or maybe a hardwire many still have to learn for themselves. My wife @Evelyn Dellcerro chose me over so many other men. She is a beautiful woman with a heart of gold and she can have any man in the world. But in the 4 years we have been together I have learned one thing. She loves me for me, not my diapers or my looks or my penis for that matter. I am male and yes I wear diapers and dress as a woman. I dont do this as a deterrent or as a way to attract anyone in particular. I dress for me I like it and it has been a part of me now 23 years. If I put on a onesie and drank out of a baby bottle and sucked on a pacifier, I know in my heart she will still love me for who I am. Many married couples lose their spark after 4 years, and that is a true fact, we  (I & Evelyn) are just beginning to fuel the flame. Ours is not a relationship based solely on diapers. We go out, we have plenty of friends. We have plenty of diaper lover friends also. We go to the movies, we go out dancing, We go shopping together, we take long drives in the country and go sight seeing.

Like 2 young teens in school we sit and hold hands and we read aloud from forums. We sit and cry and hug. There are so many stories here that are so sad and so heart breaking yes. There are also stories that touch our hearts and make us cry happy tears. When @dlsafrica says maybe it would be psychologically easier all round if it were replaced by "if you want to be treated like a baby, you can be one". I feel it. I have never had a problem with anyone being AB and I do praise those that fight so hard to regress back to a time when they felt safe and comfortable. There are so many AB people here that I would love to meet, just to give them a hug and hold them and give a loving embrace @square_duck.

People that have gone through torture at a young age @Glennie and treated in ways no one should ever be treated. The stigma of wearing diapers to regress is portrayed on the internet as though they are deviants and murderers, and rapists, when all they want to do is feel comfortable and go back to a time when life was better, simple and easier and no stress, no mess, no bills, no worries. As evelyn said husbands and wives fighting over a piece of plastic with padding. What happened to "I pledge thee my faith" or "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to love and cherish till death do us part" ??? I never read the vow that said "if my partner wears a diaper to run and to ridicule, and to tell the whole world my partner wants to be treated as a baby" @Marcus... This stigma has to stop, and we must all help to make people aware of the casualties this is causing.

I know there are many here that hide their fetish from their partners and honestly that really sucks in my eyes. These are our partners people we will be spending our remaining years with. Partners are just that our soulmate for life. I work nights and Evelyn works days. When I get home she is at work. When Evelyn gets home, I am asleep. Our weekend is just that,,, It is our weekend to let loose to love and to have fun. We get on this site and we share our life with everyone here. A simple life that starts out with love @spoonchicken. Lol love is something we all must learn. We all crave the human touch. We are animals, but we are human beings first. Love you all and keep this in mind, diapers are just a small part of all of us.

[Dubious]

You want your kids to be potty trained long before they start at school, or they are for sure gonna be the victim for bullies when found out.

It is also expensive to buy diapers if they don't have a medical condition and its much cheaper to wash some sheets for a period.
They might have to wear during night for a longer period.

No parent want that extra cost, and so much more work, changing and cleaning kid many times a day
Every parent I know is happy their kids are out of diapers

I only remember being diapered one time after being potty trained, about the only thing I remember from my childhood 
I mostly remember diapered moments for some reason, even my teenage years.

[~Brian~]

On 2/21/2021 at 5:30 PM, Dubious said:

You want your kids to be potty trained long before they start at school, or they are for sure gonna be the victim for bullies when found out.

It is also expensive to buy diapers if they don't have a medical condition and its much cheaper to wash some sheets for a period.
They might have to wear during night for a longer period.

No parent want that extra cost, and so much more work, changing and cleaning kid many times a day
Every parent I know is happy their kids are out of diapers

I only remember being diapered one time after being potty trained, about the only thing I remember from my childhood 
I mostly remember diapered moments for some reason, even my teenage years.

@Dubious

I can understand and accept what you are saying regarding the fact that for the most parents want their kids trained and out of diapers before school age.  This is based on what can be called "getting ready for school and life."  Parents may not want to change diapers past school age, and that is because there would be ridicule and bullying and all of that they would have to go through.  Most parents would laud the day their kiddo finally ditch the diapers, but, as some on the boards know, My parents were not like "most parents" and I was disabled, with Cerebral Palsy, at BIRTH, so the playbook was a LOT different for me, as I was not like "most kids" and in my family, diapers were there if we needed them, and we were encouraged to train when we were ready, and or able to.  My Aunt Julie had Down Syndrome, so the 3 of us had what we needed, and we were loved a LOT:  I still have days I cry:  My Grammy has done LOTS of things in her time, and we all respected her:  She served in the Navy with her Brothers in WWII:  She raised my Dad and my uncles and my Aunts:  She is a woman that I respect because of what she taught us: and without a family like MINE, I don't think I would be the man I am today without her:  I was fortunate enough to see her ONE final time before she died, On July 4, 2010, and she died in February 2011 - I don't  think I was prepared to see such a STRONG woman run with Alzheimers WASTE away like that, babbling, but I kept talking at her, like I used to, holding back my tears til I could hit Dad's Truck - It was hard, but Grammy was STRONG for us, and Grampa was her ally.  

My Auntie Sherry IS AWESOME, as an Auntie, and a Sister, and a MOTHER, and she has raised 2 sons and a daughter, and the LOVE is there: Grammy loved us all, and our love for each other is STRONG: we may have disabilities, but we lived our lives as best we could, with plenty of love around.  Aunt Sherry is the Grammy Now, and she has taken that position, but she learned from the BEST!

However, there are children who may not be fully trained until they are older.  I attended school, and they had a Multi-disability classroom, and these kids had multiple disabilities that were multi aged, and most were non-verbal, and in diapers, or had autism, and were in diapers:  These kids were tended to daily, and they "learned" the best that they could, and they had teachers, and aides, and people who made sure that they were socialized with people in the building:  I remember a couple who I rode the bus with, and they would SMILE at me, or laugh or engage with me when I would walk up next to them:  They may not have been able to say many words, but the EXPRESSIONS I would get would be WORTH every engagement.  Imagine for a sec having a NV person having a bad day - You listen for "cues" or like my Mom says "Ricky's Noises" and you knew his state:  I even had someone laughing so hard because they were so happy to see me, or when the bus driver used to take a bumpy road home, because the driver knew that the kid enjoyed the bumpy ride that would happen as we went up the road, or as I would blow kisses to another 10 year old NV disabled friend of mine, and watch her smile and laugh..... PRICELESS!

On 2/21/2021 at 5:30 PM, Dubious said:

No parent want that extra cost, and so much more work, changing and cleaning kid many times a day

Parents may not WANT the extra expense of the diapers, or the extra work, but LOVE is a strong thing, and we do for our kids the best we can.  Remember, we all have accidents, and may need help changing or getting dressed.  Being a parent is an 18+ year job, and you do what you have to do

I couldn't even put my shoes on myself until I was 11, and I couldn't tie them for a while before that, or after it, because I lacked the coordination to do it.  My Stepmom helped me to learn how to tie my shoes, but I [ahem] threw a TANTRUM because I couldn't do it right, but she stood by me and helped me get through it - Parents do it because they want to help us live our lives to the fullest extent possible.

My Mom took care of my disabled non-verbal brother for 10 years, and changed diapers every day, several times a day, and I had friends at summer camp, who wore, because they were bedwetters, or were incontinent.  People picked on them, but we dealt with it - I GET It: We were taught that It's not supposed to be "cool" and "hip" to wear diapers:  But it is easier to change a wet or messy diaper or shower a kid off, (which they could do at my elementary school:  They had a FULL ROLL IN shower in the bathroom of one of 3 classrooms, and could do laundry and all that RIGHT there at school), than to have them worry about messing or peeing themselves.  When you are disabled, you see both sides of the coin, and can empathize with a situation, because guys like me were in Rehab centers half our lives, and deal with what happens when you have spills, accidents, or have to change because you went in your pants.  I've done it, and I've been changed before, as a kid, and run in a mobile commode or a shower/commode chair right down the hall from my room:  There were advantages to rehab, especially when you could roll in and take your own shower, or be changed easily in the accessible bathroom

I would RATHER wear a diaper then pee or poop on the floor, or worry that I'm not gonna make it

On 2/21/2021 at 5:30 PM, Dubious said:

Every parent I know is happy their kids are out of diapers

Most parents I know are happy when they don't have to change diapers or help their kid use the potty.  I think that is one of the goals that we strive for, independence from having mom/dad help us.  As a disabled individual, I can tell you, that I have SEEN many diapers put on, taken off, thrown away, etc, and some people may need them, or take longer to get to the land of the non-diapered.  However, we should NOT bully/harass, belittle, chastise or make fun of them, or THREATEN to baby them, or regress them, or make them feel bad, because they can't keep clean or dry.  There are some of us, who CAN'T help it, or are sick of having to worry that they can't tell when they will release.  For those individuals, Diapers are an option, and we should NOT shun them or make them feel bad because they need them, or because they CHOOSE to deal with the issue with diapers, or add any facet of the AB/DL lifestyle:  If you have to or choose to wear diapers, why NOT have FUN - Take a page from @Evelyn Dellcerro's or @Transfusionelle's BOOK:  You've got ONE life, folks, so LIVE it to the fullest!

 

STIGMA: IT NEEDS TO STOP.....N O W!!!

 

Lets Analyze the following statement:

On 2/20/2021 at 7:23 PM, Transfusionelle said:

People that have gone through torture at a young age @Glennie and treated in ways no one should ever be treated. The stigma of wearing diapers to regress is portrayed on the internet as though they are deviants and murderers, and rapists, when all they want to do is feel comfortable and go back to a time when life was better, simple and easier and no stress, no mess, no bills, no worries. As evelyn said husbands and wives fighting over a piece of plastic with padding. What happened to "I pledge thee my faith" or "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to love and cherish till death do us part" ??? I never read the vow that said "if my partner wears a diaper to run and to ridicule, and to tell the whole world my partner wants to be treated as a baby" @Marcus... This stigma has to stop, and we must all help to make people aware of the casualties this is causing.

The "stigma" that we all deal with is ingrained in our heads:  "diapers are for babies, they are for peepee and poopies, and they are dirty and yucky..... and all this".  If you can't train by school age, you may be chastised and laughed at or mocked or whatever, and that is WRONG:  Kids and adults may not have the ability to train like everyone else, and may have to wear diapers, but it goes deeper than that:  Parents may use the "if you wanna ACT like a baby, I will TREAT you as or like one..." line, because they figure that if they do that, kids will get the message that their attitude stinks, and they better fix it.  Parents have the ability to SAY and DO many things to us as we grow up, but they also have the RESPONSIBILITY to make sure that they do not say something that is SO toxic, that it makes you YEARN for the days of younger times:  What @Glennietells us happened to him is INEXCUSABLE, and REALLY ROTTEN, to the DIRTIEST DIAPER'S Center CORE Padding.  There are so many things happening in our world right NOW, that it is a wonder we all don't all teleport to BABY EARTH and start OVER:  Our parents taught us respect, courtesy, manners, not to lie, and all that, and we have a government that does NOT play by the rules, and they need to be slapped, and PUNISHED for this - If I lied to @Evelyn Dellcerro, I'd be willing to wager that she'd forgive me, and would NOT forget that for a while, but when you have a government doing it EVERY day, and you are looking for someone to worry about what's RIGHT, or makes sense:  Point being:  I am a TRUTHFUL man, and I don't have to LIE to @Evelyn Dellcerro, or ANYONE for that matter, because I have a BRAIN and can use it to determine right and wrong:  Our Government seems to have forgotten that.

 

On 2/20/2021 at 7:23 PM, Transfusionelle said:

As evelyn said husbands and wives fighting over a piece of plastic with padding. What happened to "I pledge thee my faith" or "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to love and cherish till death do us part" ???

I KEEP SAYIN' IT and I'm a'gonna SAY it again, @Evelyn Dellcerroand @Transfusionelleare.WISE - you have to work together:  Since when is a diaper a reason to divorce?  Its been done for stupider reasons I will wager, but Elle HIT this one, and MAN she is as hot as a PISTOL!  What happened to the "VOWS" you promise to your partner?  Why fight over a piece of plastic?  I've had friends that are health care aides, and they bathe and change people every day, so dealing with diapers is no sweat to them.  As I said "Stigma". It helps no one, and makes someone feel bad, or uncomfortable:  If you have to wear/use, or you LIKE diapers, what is the CRIME or the big deal here: I mean @amorfraldaJRhas support of his aunts, and they will help him explore things, and I betcha no one is gonna tell THEM to STOP doing what they like/live - Because, Man, that is NOT happening:  Eve, Elle, Jr, @philmydiaper, YOU Name it:  the stigma CAN be broken:  But it takes "A Change of Mindset" and I DARE anyone to "Tell them" they hehehehe cannot hheehehehe do heheheh what they are doing -  BZZZT!!!

 

So, Let's Break that STIGMA, and start telling people that it is OK:  OK to be who you are, what you are, the way you feel, and that it is OK to Use/Like/Wear what they want.  As LONG as it is legally done, in an appropriate manner, who the hell am I, or anyone else, to say that what they do is WRONG?  I learn EVERY Day, and I am GLAD I can do that!

 

On 2/20/2021 at 7:23 PM, Transfusionelle said:

I never read the vow that said "if my partner wears a diaper to run and to ridicule, and to tell the whole world my partner wants to be treated as a baby" @Marcus... This stigma has to stop, and we must all help to make people aware of the casualties this is causing.

@Transfusionelle

ME either: and there are plenty of people who, if they use information like this, could ruin someone.  You are correct:  You WONT see a vow like that, because when you married your wife @Evelyn Dellcerroyou pledged yourself to ALL of her, and well, that line "Til DEATH US DO PART" means a lot.  EACH word of that VOW means something, and she's gonna take care of YOU, as much as YOU take care of her, diapers NOT withstanding or an issue.  A husband and wife are supposed to love each other, and poor @Marcusis getting the skewer run through him.  What GOOD will come from his wife "broadcasting" that "her husband is [INSERT HERE] and wants to be a baby"

 

ANSWER:  N O N E!

Elle and Eve are RIGHT @Marcus This STIGMA MUST end - NOW - Too many people do NOT understand what we go through, so they are in NO POSITION to start "broadcasting" your fetishes to others, family or friends.  If your wife cannot UNDERSTAND what you are going through, she is very likely NOT to accept it: There are people on DD that are married, and they deal with it, and I am NOT saying that it is easy - but when your wife is willing to "throw away" what she has/had because of a piece of soft plastic and tapes that you wear about your waist, then I would question why......If, I was born, and had CP, and I needed diapers for the rest of my LIFE, My Mom or if I had a wife, would have dealt with it, because she loved me, and THAT is THAT - She's NOT gonna get all upset and leave:  YOUR [WIFE] may NOT be able to accept it, but as I said in another POST, there is so much GARBAGE out there, that is placing our community in BAD light:  if your wife believes that sewage, than you will have little chance of convincing your wife that it is NOT as bad as it seems.  I CANNOT condone, however, your wife's use of your DAUGHTER as a pawn in this situation though:  Put a STOPPER on that one man!

On 2/20/2021 at 7:23 PM, Transfusionelle said:

I know there are many here that hide their fetish from their partners and honestly that really sucks in my eyes. These are our partners people we will be spending our remaining years with. Partners are just that our soulmate for life. I work nights and Evelyn works days. When I get home she is at work. When Evelyn gets home, I am asleep. Our weekend is just that,,, It is our weekend to let loose to love and to have fun. We get on this site and we share our life with everyone here. A simple life that starts out with love @spoonchicken. Lol love is something we all must learn. We all crave the human touch. We are animals, but we are human beings first. Love you all and keep this in mind, diapers are just a small part of all of us.

 

The reason that you have to "HIDE" the fetishes you practice is because of Stigmas and Norms, that do NOT mesh with the ones that are currently acceptable.  Sweet Elle, You have done it again.  You BOTH lead the lives you want to lead, and you DON"T LET anyone tell you what you're gonna do:  You work different shifts, and you LOVE each other, and you spend the weekends doing things together:  The simple things:  The things that matter:  LOVE is a powerful, wonderful thing, and you BOTH have the right Idea.  You choose to share a small part of your life here on Daily Diapers, and help people that hit the bumps in the road, and you do it so well:  I can't even begin to thank you  both, and the rest of the team here,for what you have done for me:  Diapers are a small part of who we are, and each one of us has to come to the end of the same road, which is the realization that the way we are is OK/NOT wrong/not bad or anything else.  Worrying about what others will think/say/believe will cause you to second guess yourself:  I think I can say, that @Evelyn Dellcerro or @Transfusionellebeing as strong as they are, don't CARE what others may think, because they live the life that they want to live, and they are NOT gonna worry about a piece of plastic, and if one of them REALLY needed them, then they would NOT worry, and they would take CARE of one another, diapers NOT withstanding

(Hopefully I make sense here Ladies and gents)

 

On 2/21/2021 at 5:30 PM, Dubious said:

I only remember being diapered one time after being potty trained, about the only thing I remember from my childhood 
I mostly remember diapered moments for some reason, even my teenage years.

@Dubious

I remember being changed on the living room floor on a hot summer day as a kid, and I would have dreams of wearing diapers, even when I was out of them. 

Have a Great Night

Brian

 

 

Edited February 23, 2021 by ~Brian~
corrected spelling on a word/other edits

[Dubious]

I still don't know how to tie shoes the correct way
Never bothered to learn it

I make 2 loops and make a knot, the way my grandma learned me as I had problem with it

[ValentinesStuff]

1 hour ago, Dubious said:

I still don't know how to tie shoes the correct way
Never bothered to learn it

I make 2 loops and make a knot, the way my grandma learned me as I had problem with it

Do your shoes stay tied?

If so, then you have learned to tie them a correct way.

 

I've known a few people that tie their shoes that way. It was how they were taught.