Mental Battles

[MinnieMouse]

Hi,

I was just wondering if anyone had any tips or anything about how they mentally cope with the whole diaper thing. Personally I find I really struggle with the whole thing and go through 'purges' and cycles of enjoying diapers and almost craving them. To periods where I hate this whole part of me and feel very ashamed of it. I know that others have similar thoughts to me and was hoping people would be able to help as I really don't know what to do!!

Thanks 

[olympus]

I too have had times where I "purged" my diapers. There are often times when I don't want to wear and times when I really need to wear. What I would suggest is that you find a place to hide your diapers that is out of sight. That way you know they are there if you need them.

[le Hollandais]

You aren't alone. I had the same experience when I was young. One day walking home from school, I thought to myself that I'd like to put on my nasty pants, as I called them. And this other voice in my head said "I think I may have a problem, here. Fifteen year old boys don't do that." So I didn't.

Except a few years later, I couldn't stuff down the feelings anymore. I went through that sort of thing for years and years. Finally I said to myself "I like diapers, and I'm going to wear them when I have the time and opportunity." And I found this site.

Take it easy on yourself. There may be no logical, rational answer to the question of why. You don't have to confess to anyone if you don't want to.

[Leaksolot]

Im not good  with words but maybe what I have to say might ease your  mind a little. First you're not alone,  I've struggled with this myself since I was attracted to diapers since I was around the age of 5. I thought I was crazy and very confused about these feelings until I discovered I wasn't alone. Now that I have reached my golden years and suffer from incontinence, diapers have become a necessity for me now and I think this condition is easier for me to be more comfortable with being a diaper lover for all those years. All I can say is,  try not to let these feelings interfere with your daily life and to be honest with your feelings.  We all have things in our life we don't understand. If you happen to be a religious person,  you might consider praying about it. In my case I discussed this with my church pastor and found him to be very understanding. You might consider talking to a psychologist also. You might find discussing your feelings with a professional and being completely honest may help a lot, it did me.

[~Brian~]

@MinnieMouse

I am incontinent myself, so there are times where I used to think how "strange, wrong, weird, different", etc that I was.  I finally accepted that I would use them and have them a part of my life, because of circumstances beyond my control.  It is NOT uncommon to feel that you are going through "cycles."  I have had that happen in my life, because you have a funny feeling that you crave it, and then you act on it, and its awesome, and you can't get enough of it, and then you lose interest in wearing/using diapers. (In this case)

It is similar to seeing a succulent chocolate cake, and craving it:  Your mouth is watering, you smell it, you see it, you WANT it.  You then stand there, debating, and eventually you find that you are in heaven, and you can't get enough of the cake, and eat yourself to submission! - at that point, you have overloaded yourself, your stomach, your senses, your being, with chocolate cake, and you don't even want to LOOK at cake, and it makes you sick, because you have had enough of it.  At that point, you don't want cake, or maybe not even cookies, or anything that is chocolate for a LONG while - The same thing can be said of Diapers, or any AB/DL equipment - You go through stages, where you can't get enough of it, and then times when you could care less, and go without it for  weeks/months or longer.

1 hour ago, MinnieMouse said:

Personally I find I really struggle with the whole thing and go through 'purges' and cycles of enjoying diapers and almost craving them. To periods where I hate this whole part of me and feel very ashamed of it.

You should NEVER be ashamed of who you are, what you feel, or what makes you feel better/safe/happy.  There are many people that wear diapers here - Some of us use Cloth Diapers, some disposables - Each of us has their reasons for using or wearing.  There are even some who, have accepted diapers, and need them, and rather than worrying about the stigma of having to wear for medical reasons, have embraced the AB/DL lifestyle to be able to cope with the them. They do this by making the diaper wearing part fun - Maybe they "play baby" or play with toys, read books, play games, etc.  Some of us use diapers for comfort, or because it makes us feel "Little" or reminds us of a time when we had no responsibilities - where we could just be kids, and be "safe."

Yes, you go through binges and purges - You may buy diapers, use them for a while, then get rid of them, because you feel that you don't want them anymore - But eventually the craving returns, and when it does, the cycle starts again - You then may feel like you have to indulge - There is absolutely NO SHAME at all in wearing, using, enjoying or doing things in diapers.  Remember, you are in control, and as long as you are comfortable with YOUR REASONS for using diapers, or partaking in activities involving them, doing so responsibly, no one will know, and if they do find out, you can give them a reason, but really, the only one that will know the real reason for the use of diapers is YOU - and anyone else, well, they can pound sand.

I was a lurker here on DD for at least 10 years, having the same kind of guilt, and feelings that it was "Yucky," "Wrong,"  "Strange,"  and other feelings - I was DRAWN to diapers in the way I described - Its like something taking over your subconscious mind, and your autonomic reaction is to "satisfy that craving" - I've been through the Binge and purge cycles, and regardless of how many times I have done it, I always come back to the realization that "Hey, I still like diapers, I like the feel of them, I like the softness/crinkle of them, etc" and NOTHING is gonna change that - Last summer, I was having issues of incontinence myself, and decided that I was gonna deal with it using diapers:  I figured, with my Cerebral Palsy, I am looking ahead, and preparing for a future where I may need and will need to use them.  Yes, it can be a pain, and it can be inconvenient at times, but think of it this way, would you rather have a wet or messy diaper, or an accident in your pants?  My answer is:  The Diaper!  There are people here that have other experiences too, so take a look at their comments, but remember that you are HUMAN, and as such have urges - There are far WORSE things that are a lot more harmful than wearing diapers.  I have accepted that I need and use diapers, and I would NOT go back - Its a decision I stand by all the way.

NEVER be afraid to be yourself - If you think that wearing or using diapers or having feelings and urges to act little or the urges to indulge is not common, I can tell you from experience, that the urge or feeling is NOT uncommon - Diapers are a Tool, and can be used to help you experience and enhance your feelings:  NEVER feel guilty - Weather you use for medical, emotional, or comfort reasons:  Diapers are just a special "Underwear" -   (and Ladies that have periods understand this quite well) Who cares if they look cute or white, or babyish, as long as they make YOU feel complete? - YOU know the reasons, and it is common to feel like you are "getting away with" something, like when we were kids, and we would wet our diapers.  If they make you "feel good," then GREAT - Embrace and GO - just know that we all go through the cycles of wanting to wear or not wear - As a guy that's incontinent, I can tell you that the experiences I've had are amazing!

Good Luck - Feel free to send me a message if you wish!

Brian

[oznl]

The “binge/purge” cycle you describe is as depressingly common and familiar to many people around here as is the periodic flocks of negative thoughts blocking out the sun.

I wouldn’t describe myself as any kind of template and I can’t really say that I’m 100% happy about what I am but I’m not standing out on any metaphorical window ledges either.

The biggest concession I dealt myself here is something that I believe holds true for me and may well hold true for you too.

You didn’t choose this.  It chose you.  It’s wired in deep and you’re stuck with managing it.  The sooner you can move on from blaming yourself for getting something you never asked for and figure out how to integrate it into your life so you don’t go mad, the happier you’ll be.

That’s how I try to look at it these days.  I wish I'd tried to look at it that way 30 years earlier - I think I'm a slow learner...

[Stroller]

41 minutes ago, oznl said:

The “binge/purge” cycle you describe is as depressingly common and familiar to many people around here as is the periodic flocks of negative thoughts blocking out the sun.

 

I wouldn’t describe myself as any kind of template and I can’t really say that I’m 100% happy about what I am but I’m not standing out on any metaphorical window ledges either.

 

The biggest concession I dealt myself here is something that I believe holds true for me and may well hold true for you too.

 

You didn’t choose this.  It chose you.  It’s wired in deep and you’re stuck with managing it.  The sooner you can move on from blaming yourself for getting something you never asked for and figure out how to integrate it into your life so you don’t go mad, the happier you’ll be.

 

That’s how I try to look at it these days.  I wish I'd tried to look at it that way 30 years earlier - I think I'm a slow learner...

 

What he said.  For so many of us it has taken many years to accept what we are and order our lives so that it works without the binge/purge cycles and the guilt.  But quite a lot of us on here have reached that point eventually, and are comfortable with what we are.  The lucky ones get there more quickly.  A lot of people never reconcile themselves to it at all, but as far as we know this thing we have never goes away for anybody.  You have to learn to love what you are, and enjoy it.  Easier said than done I know, but it's the way to go.  Be proud on the inside!

[waynecook52]

18 hours ago, Stroller said:

What he said.  For so many of us it has taken many years to accept what we are and order our lives so that it works without the binge/purge cycles and the guilt.  But quite a lot of us on here have reached that point eventually, and are comfortable with what we are.  The lucky ones get there more quickly.  A lot of people never reconcile themselves to it at all, but as far as we know this thing we have never goes away for anybody.  You have to learn to love what you are, and enjoy it.  Easier said than done I know, but it's the way to go.  Be proud on the inside!

Stroller I don't think there is anyone on D.D. that could have said it better.

[Wheels]

@MinnieMouse, there's a lot of good replies here! Just remember:

1. It only feels wrong because so many of us were "shamed" out of diapers during potty training, so many people will put this fetish down as a bad thing.
2. Your diaper desire is not hurting you, or anyone else.
3. You are entitled to happiness!
4. Your desire to be diapered is likely deeply ingrained into who you are, so try to ride out the binge urges with the mindset of "this too shall pass"
5. When your binge cycle kicks in, embrace and enjoy it!
6. Know that the more you work toward acceptance, the more you'll come to enjoy the "binge" side and the "urge to purge" will eventually wane.

[Littlejx9]

The best advice I can give is to someone I understand where your coming from. Remember as we get older we need try new things and something you just don’t understand how you feel. ? hope this helps 

[AwakenEvil]

Finding IRL friends help out a lot. When you find you are not alone, and others share your interests is a good thing I believe

[feralfreak]

im curious why one feels bad about liking diapers, who is it hurting to let yourself have them? to give a question a psychologist asked me when she was screening me for autism and i mentioned not wanting to get into dating because i didnt want to be like my father, "whos in charge of you?" that answer is YOU, if you are not making someone clean your wet or dirty backside, not making someone fix you a bottle(this excludes those who are in role play and want to), wheres the harm? is it just something you do when alone? you are ALONE! NO ONE HAS TO GIVE YOU APPROVAL, is it fear that God will smite you? give me a break there isnt anything he dont know about you and he loves you, feeling bad because you let yourself have this hurts you and he sees that, and its no sin to wear a diaper, or enjoy a baby bottle, there are worse things you could be doing like having unprotected sex with strangers, or doing drugs, those are things that can hurt others and yourself, the most you might get from diapers is a little rash here or there.