All My Mother's Rules (Ch. 70 & Epilogue - 2/13/24)

[BabySofia]

1 hour ago, MinnesotaWriter said:

No more hiding who and what I was.

Now, unfortunately, what else is mom going to do...? I think we're at four more chapters...? I don't remember? Either way I doubt this is going to be a giving her the thing she needs moment. (I really hate her mom)

[spark]

20 minutes ago, BabySofia said:

Now, unfortunately, what else is mom going to do...? I think we're at four more chapters...? I don't remember? Either way I doubt this is going to be a giving her the thing she needs moment. (I really hate her mom)

Making Sarah stand in a cold shower is beyond emotional abuse.   Mom set her up to fail for some reason.

[BabySofia]

5 minutes ago, spark said:

Mom set her up to fail for some reason.

She's psychotic? Definitely diagnosable with something...

[GQLF]

Sarah has fallen, and sadly, it was her own choice. The last time she wet her pants was the last straw, and her self-esteem has completely disappeared. Since she accepted the fact that she really needed diapers, she had no ability or reason to resist.

 

However, we can also see from Sarah's inner confession that this is a relief for her own spirit. The pressure of concealing her urinary leakage from everyone for several months has already made the 14-year-old unbearable. If being forced to wear diapers by her mother as a baby is the dark end, then Sarah voluntarily becoming a baby wearing diapers is a "good end" for herself in a sense.

 

I'm not referring to returning to her original life, but becoming a baby represents the disappearance of all stress, which is a great relief for Sarah.

[MinnesotaWriter]

2 hours ago, Babytom948 said:

Welcome to the dark side

I think the story has been a bit dark for a while now.

1 hour ago, BabySofia said:

Now, unfortunately, what else is mom going to do...? I think we're at four more chapters...? I don't remember? Either way I doubt this is going to be a giving her the thing she needs moment. (I really hate her mom)

I'm counting five to six more chapters, albeit all fairly long ones. I'm a habitual offender for underestimating the amount of chapters remaining in my outline, so we'll see. 

44 minutes ago, spark said:

Making Sarah stand in a cold shower is beyond emotional abuse.   Mom set her up to fail for some reason.

I see it as more as the mom being completely incapable of understanding why Sarah isn't succeeding, and lashing out at her.

38 minutes ago, BabySofia said:

She's psychotic? Definitely diagnosable with something...

I'm sticking with narcissism for my diagnosis, but I'm not a psychologist, so I'm sure her behavior might fall under some other categories.

2 minutes ago, GQLF said:

Sarah has fallen, and sadly, it was her own choice. The last time she wet her pants was the last straw, and her self-esteem has completely disappeared. Since she accepted the fact that she really needed diapers, she had no ability or reason to resist.

 

However, we can also see from Sarah's inner confession that this is a relief for her own spirit. The pressure of concealing her urinary leakage from everyone for several months has already made the 14-year-old unbearable. If being forced to wear diapers by her mother as a baby is the dark end, then Sarah voluntarily becoming a baby wearing diapers is a "good end" for herself in a sense.

 

I'm not referring to returning to her original life, but becoming a baby represents the disappearance of all stress, which is a great relief for Sarah.

We'll have to see how those theories hold up in coming chapters.

[Night Rain]

Sarah still has to deal with whatever is going to happen once she runs into her friends again when school starts.

But when Sarah get's older she's going to have a lot of emotional baggage. Or might even have thoughts of trying to harm herself.

[WehavePi314]

Girl.  Get thee to a mandated reporter.  Tell them everything she did over break.  If possible, provoke your mother into administering a spanking that leaves obvious bruises first so there is evidence.  But run to the counselor.

[Jayme]

Stockholm syndrome and cult like programing have hit Sarah hard. I'm wondering if her friends are seeing this or have caught glimpses of it before?

[Kahlez]

There are two interesting things for me this chapter.

First her mother, I think she she was really hoping that Sarah would proof she is a big girl again, since my guess is that Sarah´s mother is frustrated more than anything with her. She feels like a mother who is not very flexible, Rules are the rules and life has a certain order. Sarah is the oldest daughter who should help her by now and instead she begins to beliefe Sarah maybe even wants to be babied. The last accident maybe even enough "proof" for her that this is the case. 

Secondly Sarah...yeah i guess that looks really bad for her now. Her feeling relieved wearing diapers again because she believes she needs them makes the situation even more complicated. First of it could give her mother an additional proof she wants to be babied by not fully understanding why her daughter wants to wear them. Secondly the chances that Sarah is telling anyone about the abuse case are getting very slime now. If i had to guess unless something else big happens in the last chapters there is a 90% chance Sarah will not report this or tell everyone she wants/need it. Therefore chances to helping her are getting really low here. Unlike in Europe in the US you are allowed to home school so if her mother choosing this option, it probably would end every bit of chance left for Sarah to escape it.

[Allman90]

Her mother, again, is a psycho. 

Her strict adherence to the rules are a great example of why I have big issues with most established sources of authority in the world today, a lot of them do very similar. The mother likely was only taught to obey rules above all else. Regardless, that's her current priority. She sees no flaw in the rules or their punishments. She doesn't care about her daughters, only that they follow the rules. Life in general is full of exceptional situations, and arbitrary rules become counter productive more often than not. 

 

Sarah doesn't want diapers. She doesn't like them. 

 

Instead, Sarah is just terrified of the punishments and the rules. After what sounds like around two weeks, she's been heavily conditioned. Brainwashed almost. Her mother has made it so miserable to even attempt to follow the rules that she now much prefers anything which can provide her an escape from the torment. She's at the point where literally shitting in diapers is preferable to trying to appease her mother. And she hates wearing diapers. While she may be trying to convince herself that she's making the right choice, I think it's just a cope. 

 

Her mother mistakenly thinks Sarah wants to be a baby. She keeps hammering this point to Sarah, thinking that it will deter her. But she's going about this in such an inhuman way that it's done nothing more that driven Sarah to just give up and be the think she was accused of being. Because that's easier than the impossible task of proving to a stubborn psycho that she doesn't want to be a baby. 

 

Good life lesson, really. Don't accuse people of being something they're not. Don't just stick a label on them, or they might end up being the thing the thing you accused them of in the first place. 

 

I await the conclusion. Here's hoping something actually happens to the mother and it changes her. 

 

[nadine_enough]

Just getting caught up again, thanks for continuing to create and share this story!

I've not been too interested in litigating all the ways when or how Sarah should talk to a mandated reporter. That will probably happen at some point, so to me it's honestly like whatever, who cares. (or, unlikely outcome, potentially that never happens, at which point the story stops being satisfying, like one of those old "bad end" ABDL stories)

No, the more interesting development to me is this:

20 hours ago, MinnesotaWriter said:

No more hiding who and what I was.

I was a teenage girl who couldn’t help but keep pissing herself. And I wanted to wear diapers.

Between this, and Sarah lisping in the previous chapter when given a chance to speak, this trajectory makes total sense narratively. Her responding to "do you want to be a big girl" with "wes mommy" was a sign to me that she may have only been days away from giving up and accepting babyhood as her true status. I believe she said as much that she was no longer trying to hold in her bladder at the tail end of her diaper punishment, so this conclusion was inevitable.

Personally I think this path is way more interesting to read and these ideas way more interesting to explore than just rushing Sarah towards CPS.

[kerry]

17 hours ago, MinnesotaWriter said:

18 hours ago, spark said:

Making Sarah stand in a cold shower is beyond emotional abuse.   Mom set her up to fail for some reason.

I see it as more as the mom being completely incapable of understanding why Sarah isn't succeeding, and lashing out at her.

Pardon me, but this is really giving that abusive bitch of a mom more credit than she deserves. There is absolutely no scenario that could justify her actions.

As for the potential ending: we've come a very long way since the cheer accident that resulted in Sarah's problems, but I think it would be wrong not to take her to a doctor who could actually diagnose her correctly. So, my probably-wrong predictions for the remainder of the plot:

• Mom continues to be abusive.
• Sarah, in diapers at school, either decides on her own to report things or, more likely, is compelled when either her friends find out or she is discovered by an enemy.
• CPS removes her from her mom's clutches along with Emilia. Sarah opts to live with Lisa instead of whatever relative takes her sister.
• At a court-ordered doctor appointment, Sarah's bladder injury is discovered and she remembers the cheer accident.
• Her mom, charged with abuse, goes into counseling, which may eventually allow her to get Emilia back...though not Sarah.

As I said, it's probably all wrong. But it would be highly satisfactory. It even manages to help that abusive, twisted mom.

[MinnesotaWriter]

21 hours ago, Night Rain said:

Sarah still has to deal with whatever is going to happen once she runs into her friends again when school starts.

But when Sarah get's older she's going to have a lot of emotional baggage. Or might even have thoughts of trying to harm herself.

The story won't end before there's a chance to delve further into how all of this has impacted Sarah.

20 hours ago, WehavePi314 said:

Girl.  Get thee to a mandated reporter.  Tell them everything she did over break.  If possible, provoke your mother into administering a spanking that leaves obvious bruises first so there is evidence.  But run to the counselor.

Hard to feel the need to tell someone else when you're convinced that you are fully deserving of what is happening to you.

12 hours ago, Jayme said:

Stockholm syndrome and cult like programing have hit Sarah hard. I'm wondering if her friends are seeing this or have caught glimpses of it before?

Before Christmas break, Lisa was pressing Sarah pretty hard about if there was anything going on. And of course there was Sarah's blowup at Lisa at the mall later on.

11 hours ago, Kahlez said:

There are two interesting things for me this chapter.

First her mother, I think she she was really hoping that Sarah would proof she is a big girl again, since my guess is that Sarah´s mother is frustrated more than anything with her. She feels like a mother who is not very flexible, Rules are the rules and life has a certain order. Sarah is the oldest daughter who should help her by now and instead she begins to beliefe Sarah maybe even wants to be babied. The last accident maybe even enough "proof" for her that this is the case. 

Secondly Sarah...yeah i guess that looks really bad for her now. Her feeling relieved wearing diapers again because she believes she needs them makes the situation even more complicated. First of it could give her mother an additional proof she wants to be babied by not fully understanding why her daughter wants to wear them. Secondly the chances that Sarah is telling anyone about the abuse case are getting very slime now. If i had to guess unless something else big happens in the last chapters there is a 90% chance Sarah will not report this or tell everyone she wants/need it. Therefore chances to helping her are getting really low here. Unlike in Europe in the US you are allowed to home school so if her mother choosing this option, it probably would end every bit of chance left for Sarah to escape it.

This last chapter took place on New Year's Eve. We'll find out about what happens regarding school in the next chapter. That should be out around Monday/Tuesday.

4 hours ago, nadine_enough said:

Just getting caught up again, thanks for continuing to create and share this story!

I've not been too interested in litigating all the ways when or how Sarah should talk to a mandated reporter. That will probably happen at some point, so to me it's honestly like whatever, who cares. (or, unlikely outcome, potentially that never happens, at which point the story stops being satisfying, like one of those old "bad end" ABDL stories)

No, the more interesting development to me is this:

Between this, and Sarah lisping in the previous chapter when given a chance to speak, this trajectory makes total sense narratively. Her responding to "do you want to be a big girl" with "wes mommy" was a sign to me that she may have only been days away from giving up and accepting babyhood as her true status. I believe she said as much that she was no longer trying to hold in her bladder at the tail end of her diaper punishment, so this conclusion was inevitable.

Personally I think this path is way more interesting to read and these ideas way more interesting to explore than just rushing Sarah towards CPS.

Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it. There are some more developments in store for Sarah still.

3 hours ago, kerry said:

Pardon me, but this is really giving that abusive bitch of a mom more credit than she deserves. There is absolutely no scenario that could justify her actions.

As for the potential ending: we've come a very long way since the cheer accident that resulted in Sarah's problems, but I think it would be wrong not to take her to a doctor who could actually diagnose her correctly. So, my probably-wrong predictions for the remainder of the plot:

• Mom continues to be abusive.
• Sarah, in diapers at school, either decides on her own to report things or, more likely, is compelled when either her friends find out or she is discovered by an enemy.
• CPS removes her from her mom's clutches along with Emilia. Sarah opts to live with Lisa instead of whatever relative takes her sister.
• At a court-ordered doctor appointment, Sarah's bladder injury is discovered and she remembers the cheer accident.
• Her mom, charged with abuse, goes into counseling, which may eventually allow her to get Emilia back...though not Sarah.

As I said, it's probably all wrong. But it would be highly satisfactory. It even manages to help that abusive, twisted mom.

Appreciate the thorough predictions. My lips are sealed for now.

[spark]

5 hours ago, nadine_enough said:

Between this, and Sarah lisping in the previous chapter when given a chance to speak, this trajectory makes total sense narratively. Her responding to "do you want to be a big girl" with "wes mommy" was a sign to me that she may have only been days away from giving up and accepting babyhood as her true status. I believe she said as much that she was no longer trying to hold in her bladder at the tail end of her diaper punishment, so this conclusion was inevitable.

Personally I think this path is way more interesting to read and these ideas way more interesting to explore than just rushing Sarah towards CPS.

I disagree.  The babytalk was forced and she was afraid to use real language.

In my opinion, Sarah thoughts are more from a desire for survival.   It reminds of what you hear when somebody is in a physically abusive relationship and starts to think they did something to deserve it.   The reason is that they can't escape, so she tries to convince herself that she deserves it. 

We know that Sarah does not want to be a baby, and never has.     She has a very serious incontinence issue that any normal parent would understand quickly.   I would find any ending where Sarah is still around her mother as unsatisfying.  I think she would eventually run away before allowing that.  She could also assault her mother, which is what MW did with Diapers Never Lie.

[Kahlez]

9 hours ago, spark said:

In my opinion, Sarah thoughts are more from a desire for survival.   It reminds of what you hear when somebody is in a physically abusive relationship and starts to think they did something to deserve it.   The reason is that they can't escape, so she tries to convince herself that she deserves it. 

I have to disagree on this one here. The way it is written makes it at least for me clear that Sarah actually believes she needs those diapers. Which would actually make a lot of sense given that she had the chance being a big girl again and failed being the last push needed. The issue is that no one of them thinks about medical reason anymore and so Sarah is blaming herself. Yes she does not want to be a baby but still she be believes she needs diapers now with all those failings she had regarding her potty training.

[TheJ]

On 1/10/2024 at 1:29 AM, MinnesotaWriter said:

Emilia immediately trotted off to go to the restroom.

I stood up, careful to maintain my tenuous control over my bladder.

“Not yet,” mom said.

“But you said I can go once she is done.”

“I did, and once she comes back, you can head over to the bathroom.”

It has to be obvious to the mother that Sarah is trying to go to the bathroom whenever she needs to and is physically incapable of holding her bladder for a longer time. She has to be delusional to still think Sarah wants to have accidents.

I hope whatever is causing the incontinence doesn't cause Sarah to crash before she can see a doctor. The incontinence could be caused by neurological damage, tumour or diabetes. To my recollection no other symptoms have been mentioned in the story so far, which could make psychological cause more likely, but that requires treatment nonetheless. Urinary tract infection can cause incontinence as well, but given how long Sarah has had problems with her bladder without other symptoms, I highly doubt it's the cause.

[AdultInnocence]

My theory on why Lisa hasn't done anything is there is no legal recourse right now for her uncle, even if she does suspect anything. The first day back at school would be the best chance for her friends and Lisa's uncle to get her in a private room and confront her. Lisa should have noticed the BS answers when she asked about testing, and then when Sarah said what she did at the mall, I am sure Lisa, having things happen to her in the past, knows something is going on. I think Sarah is finally at a point if pushed enough she'll just blurt it all out and spill out of exhaustion, and saying that she deserves what is happening to her, which will then force Lisa's uncle to get involved.

I suspect that Lisa and her uncle are going to be a big part of Sarah's recovery from all this. I do feel that whatever damage has been done for the lack of doctor care, it could be at a point where diapers are going to be permanent if surgery is not an option to fix things. The fact that she has had accidents without feeling anything clues in on that.

I have a feeling MW will adjust chapter numbers as needed to get the story finished. I think it was said the numbers were an estimation before. We know it's about six long chapters, and there is also the option of an epilogue at the end as well. We are all invested in this story and are rooting for Sarah and justice for what she has gone through.

[spark]

14 hours ago, Kahlez said:

I have to disagree on this one here. The way it is written makes it at least for me clear that Sarah actually believes she needs those diapers. Which would actually make a lot of sense given that she had the chance being a big girl again and failed being the last push needed. The issue is that no one of them thinks about medical reason anymore and so Sarah is blaming herself. Yes she does not want to be a baby but still she be believes she needs diapers now with all those failings she had regarding her potty training.

She may be thinking that, but she a long way from wanting it.   That's what makes it abuse.  Abuse can do funny things to the abused, and that's where Sarah is right now.   IMO- I don't believe that's how the story ends.   In the end, Sarah might have bladder issues and require diapers, but I don't see her ending up being treated like a baby in any way.   Personally, I any ending that Sarah ends up still under her mother's control and sad, and not in the spirit of the story.   A sad ending doesn't feel right to me.

4 hours ago, AdultInnocence said:

My theory on why Lisa hasn't done anything is there is no legal recourse right now for her uncle, even if she does suspect anything.

I'm fascinated by the legal requirements if Lisa shared her concerns with her uncle at home during Christmas break, and whether he would be legally required to report to CPS.     He is technically not in the mandated capacity at that point, but I think it would require a report to CPS.   FTR- he doesn't need legal recourse to make the report  Mom would have no legal recourse if he filed the report, even if no evidence was discovered.   

Much would depend on what Lisa suspects, and to what level.  She could easily share that there is untreated incontinence and Sarah is afraid to have Lisa talk to her mom about it, and that is enough to make a CPS report for me.  I would suspect medical neglect.

 

[Shotgun Diplomat]

On 1/10/2024 at 4:52 PM, MinnesotaWriter said:

Hard to feel the need to tell someone else when you're convinced that you are fully deserving of what is happening to you.

 

Echoing this statement. When there is abuse, and it has been piled on thicker and thicker over a period of time it becomes normal. It becomes expected. Talking to anyone with a duty to report is so incredibly difficult simply because the abuse is considered normal by the individual.

 

Man this story is bringing up some sort of feelings in me.  

[MinnesotaWriter]

Chapter 62: Three Letters

I was awake before Mom had come to get me out of the crib and change me.

If not for the fact that yesterday had been New Year’s Day, I wouldn’t have a good sense of what day it was. Christmas break had been a blur, but I as laid in the crib, I was reasonably certain that today was the first day back in school.

Mom had not addressed the topic of school, not since two days ago, when I had proven once and for all that I wasn’t capable of being a big girl. The preschool Emilia was graduating into this January when she turned four didn’t take kids that weren’t potty trained. Why should the standards for a high school be any different?

And did I even want to go to school? The thought of having to face Samantha and Desi again, and Lisa, after what I’d said and done to alienate them, terrified me. The only justification for my behavior that I could give was the one thing I could never allow them to find out about me.

After being put back in diapers following my failed foray into wearing underwear, I had paid no attention whatsoever to my bladder or bowel functions. If I needed to go, I went. And I often went without realizing that I needed to go. There was no longer any question that the diapers were sorely needed.

The pacifier Mom had placed in my mouth after tucking me in had fallen out to the side of the crib. I picked it up and put it back into my mouth, focusing on the soothing sensation of my lips and tongue on the rubber nipple.

My diaper was soaked, but at least Mom had put pajama pants over it the other night, which both kept my legs warmer and prevented the diaper from getting too saggy.

The sun inched higher in the sky, a few rays peeking into the bedroom from the gaps in the blinds. Across the room, Emilia was still sound asleep in what had used to be my bed. It was still far too big for her. She was practically swallowed up by all the blankets and sheets.

Creaky footsteps in the hallway. I closed my eyes, pretending that I was still asleep. The door inched open. Mom always got Emilia up first, making sure to remind her to use the potty before sending her along to the kitchen where a bowl of her favorite cereal had already been poured for her along with a glass of milk.

Before two days ago, it would have greatly irritated me if Emilia had been around during the morning diaper change, and I would have been grateful to see her leave the room before Mom moved on to getting me up for the day. Now, I wouldn’t have cared if she had stuck around. Our roles were fully reversed. She was the big girl; I was the baby.

Mom sometimes changed my diaper before breakfast, but other times she would wait until I had finished eating. I was already picturing how nice a fresh diaper would feel against my body when I felt her hands on my shoulder, gently stirring me awake.

“It’s time for a baby to have her breakfast.”

That’s fine. I could wait until after breakfast for the diaper change.

Mom opened the sliding door to the crib and helped me out. I got down on my hands and knees without needing to be asked. Babies crawl to where they need to go. That was the other reason I was glad to have pajama pants on, as that helped cushion my knees as I trailed behind Mom to the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen, I stood up, but only briefly, as I got myself into the old wooden highchair. Emilia was too busy trying to trace a maze on the back of the cereal box to give me any attention.

Some dirty plates next to the sink told me that Mom had already gotten her breakfast before getting us out of bed. I opened my mouth complacently as she spooned in cereal. She hadn’t bothered to put on a bib, as I would be changing out of my pajama shirt, anyway. There were dribbles of milk all over the front of it.

It was only baby talk for me so far. Lots of trains and airplanes and bumblebees all making their way into my mouth as Mom lifted the spoon to my face. Nothing yet about what was going to happen for school after breakfast.

I belatedly realized that I hadn’t done any of the assigned readings for the break. That meant I’d have to suffer through some pop quizzes and hope that I could make the right multiple-choice guesses.

I opened my mouth wide for the last bite of cereal as Mom made train noises while sliding the spoon into my mouth. My diaper was likely at its breaking point now, judging from how much warmer it felt compared to when I had first sat down in the highchair.

There was another journey along the hallway floor as I went back to the bedroom. Mom had everything prepared for the diaper change on Emilia’s bed by the time I arrived.

That answered one question. I would be wearing a diaper today. But it left many more, and I would need to wait until Mom provided an explanation.

Something was off about the diaper as I stood up, ready to lie down on top of it. In the middle of the diaper, on top of its padding, was another long strip that looked to be made of the same absorbent material inside the diaper.

A booster pad? That was all I could think it would be. These diapers were already incredibly absorbent. With a booster pad, I could probably stay in one diaper the entire school day without changing.

That answered another one of the questions swirling in my mind. At least I wasn’t going to have to worry about rushing to get the hall passes. But I shuddered involuntarily at the thought of what my diapered bottom might look like by the time I was in my final class of the day.

At least it was extremely rare for me to poop during school. I’d somehow mentally trained my body to not need to do that when I was away from home.

As I settled in on the diaper, it took a second to adjust to how it was going to feel to have the extra padding between my legs. I wasn’t going to be running around a lot, either. Mom applied the baby cream, and then a thorough sprinkling of baby powder as well. She had only used both before at night, another sign that I should expect to be in this diaper for a long time.

I felt Mom’s fingers press firmly against my waist as she ensured the plastic tapes were snug. What was she going to put on me? Had to be a dress. Anything else either wouldn’t fit over the diaper or would obviously expose it to my classmates.

My pajama shirt with the milk splatters on it came off, tossed successfully into the hamper. But it was replaced, not with a dress, but with a short-sleeved t-shirt, and Mom helped me off the bed without putting anything else on me.

She had held me out of school before, but only for a day at a time, when I had been wearing diapers for a day as a punishment for having too many accidents in my pull-ups. Is that what was happening now? I looked up at Mom quizzically. But to ask the question I wanted to ask, I’d need to use big girl words, and, as far as I knew, those were still off limits.

The crib door was still open. The blankets had been straightened out and pulled to the side, ready for me to lie down.

“It’s time for a baby to lie down for a nap.” Mom held my hand and led me to the entrance to the crib.

I wouldn’t have to go to school. I wouldn’t have to do any homework. I wouldn’t have to face Samantha, Desi, and Lisa. I crawled into the crib without some difficulty, as it was hard to do so with the thicker diaper. But then I was on my back. Mom pulled the blanket over me.

But I was missing something. It took me a second to realize what it was.

My mouth felt empty. “Mommy. Paci.” My high-pitched whine echoed in the bedroom.

A moment later, a pacifier was in my mouth.

“Mommy is going off to work now.” She was standing next to the crib, having shut the door. “I’ll be back during lunch break. I’ve told the school you are being homeschooled for this semester. That will end when you decide you want to be a big girl again.”

The pacifier spared me from making any response, even if there was little that could be expressed with baby talk. I couldn’t imagine ever wanting to be a big girl again. I needed my diapers. I couldn’t imagine being able to live without them.

“This,” Mom said, as she set something on the dresser, “is so you don’t get into any trouble until I am back home.”

I looked closely at what Mom had placed on the dresser. It was a nanny cam. The one she had used to monitor Emilia when she was a baby. It connected via the internet to Mom’s phone, so she could watch it from anywhere.

I felt a twinge of annoyance. Not because Mom was monitoring me, but that she somehow still didn’t trust me. Didn’t she understand that I knew now that I was a baby? That I knew that I wanted to wear diapers?

Mom left the bedroom without saying anything else. I wondered if that was going to be it before she came back for lunch. Instead, she returned with two baby bottles, both filled with apple juice. She set them inside the crib. That would be more than enough to make sure I didn’t go thirsty until lunch time. And, with the extra padding in the diaper, there would be no issues with any leaks until I was changed again.

But I wasn’t thirsty quite yet. Not with all the milk I’d had with my cereal for breakfast. I kept the pacifier in my mouth and closed my eyes, not even opening them as Emilia darted into the bedroom and Mom got her dressed for preschool.

I shouldn’t have been tired, but something about laying back down in the crib with the pacifier in my mouth was making me sleepy.

My diaper was wet by the time I drifted off to sleep.

---

Wake up. Breakfast. Diaper Change. Nap. Diaper change. Lunch. Play time. Diaper change. Nap. Diaper change. Dinner. Playtime. Diaper change. Bath. Bedtime. Repeat. Repeat. And repeat some more.

What day was it, anyway? The weekends helped. Sort of. Though the routine for them often ended up following a similar pattern, anyway. How many weekends had even passed since Mom had pulled me out of school with the excuse of homeschooling me? Was it even January still? I didn’t know. Mom still asked me occasionally about whether I was a big girl or a baby. The answer was always the same. I was a baby. The evidence of that grew day by day.

But none of those questions really mattered. Those were things a big girl worried about. I was a baby who still wet and messed her diaper, and I needn’t concern myself with any of those things.

I hadn’t realized how much stress I had been under the past several months until I had finally experienced what it was like to not being dealing with any of it.

All the anxiety from what I had to do to manage my bladder. Being depressed about my failures to re-potty train myself. My jealousy both at Lisa’s successes and Samantha’s ease at accepting her own strange need for diapers. Everything that had combined to make that first semester of school a complete hell for me.

There was no stress for me now. Not as I lay in my crib in a wet diaper with a pacifier in my mouth. Babies don’t feel stress. Babies don’t make decisions. Babies don’t have any rules to follow or punishments for being disobedient. Babies don’t need to do anything for themselves.

Babies simply exist.

Did I even miss anything from my former life?

Did I miss school? I couldn’t say that I was feeling any strong urges to do math homework or sit through boring classes. And I was sure my former friends were getting along just fine without me. I’d done enough to alienate them. I doubted any new messages were arriving on my phone, which probably hadn’t been powered up in who knew how long.

No, this situation was better, especially for a girl who wasn’t potty trained. How would I even go about wearing a diaper at school in the first place? Or explaining how I had made a stinky mess in it during the middle of math class. I couldn’t clean that up by myself. I don’t think the nurse was paid enough to do that for me.

There was a rumbling sound in my stomach, a tightening sensation in my abdomen. Then it was gone, followed a few seconds later by a hint of a pungent odor emanating from the diaper.

I was no longer bothered by messing myself. That’s just what babies did. My body told me that I needed to poop and so I did, right then and there. That wasn’t to say that the sensation of a messy diaper wasn’t uncomfortable.

But once I had come to accept that everything was now outside of my control, a messy diaper wasn’t anything to worry about. There was a routine to follow. I would be changed when I got changed.

I think it was now in the middle of the afternoon. Probably. There was one empty bottle in my crib and another one that I had barely begun to drink.

I held the tip of the bottle to my mouth and suckled softly on it. I wasn’t all that thirsty. I was drinking more out of habit for something to do before I closed my eyes to continue the nap.

I wasn’t even paying any attention to my bladder as the diaper gradually expanded, this time from a warm stream of urine. The booster pads Mom placed in the diaper while I she was off at work had proven to be extremely useful, especially with how much she often left for me to drink.

I was halfway through the second bottle when I heard the front door slam open.

I wasn’t able to see the clock from the crib, but even though the curtains and blinds were down, there seemed to be more light coming in than there should be by the time I was expecting Mom to be home with Emilia. There was a voice, or maybe voices, coming from elsewhere in the house.

Maybe Mom was home early. Or perhaps it was the weekend after all. I didn’t let the noise distract me any further. I put the bottle back into my mouth. I would be the perfect image of a baby when Mom stepped in to check on me.

The bedroom door swung open. A woman stepped through, scanning the room with a flashlight in her hand. I was able to make out three letters on her jacket before I averted my eyes from the light.

CPS.

[spark]

I knew it!

I'm sure you'll explain in the coming chapters, but I wonder how they found out.  I think the red flag was pulling communication from Sarah, which put Lisa on alert and then disenrolled her in school.

It didn't appear that Mom did anything about homeschooling.    Homeschooling requires parents to register with a district, and the district is responsible for showing evidence that education is happening.  

Great chapter!   It's heartbreaking to see how much Mom destroyed Sarah's will and turned her into a pathetic character.   

[BabySofia]

40 minutes ago, MinnesotaWriter said:

The bedroom door swung open. A woman stepped through, scanning the room with a flashlight in her hand. I was able to make out three letters on her jacket before I averted my eyes from the light.

CPS.

Thank God!!!!! Finally!

I wonder how much time has passed...? I honestly expected her to have her go back to school in diapers honestly, I didn't see her actually pulling the homeschool card in the end. All I know is I hope she gets the help she needs to recover from this horrific abusive mother, and that the next step is that mother going to prison for a very long time at this point!

[kerry]

All I can say is: Thank goodness!

[JustaFoxGirl]

Been reading this for a while (without an account) and feel like now is a good time to chime in with my thoughts.

 

Firstly, I'm glad that Sarah will finally be away from her psycho mother. Hopefully she can begin healing now, but I know this kind of abuse stays with a person. That being said..

The second thing is, speaking as someone who is incontinent, her acceptance of diapers is a good thing long-term. Despite all her best efforts in potty training, anytime Sarah made it to a toilet it felt more like she got lucky than anything. It seems pretty clear that she is, for all intents and purposes, incontinent. Being able to accept that and her needs is healthy, even if it came from a place of abuse.

Thirdly, once again trying to see a positive in the nightmare, perhaps Sarah will understand why Samantha likes being babied now. Even though she was forced and abused by it, and a lot of what she was thinking was a result of that, I can see her having a better understanding of how her friend feels. I recall it was something Sarah struggled to understand at the time and more or less went along with it because that's what friends do. Although after all this, I also wouldn't be surprised if Samantha is shocked out of wanting to do it anymore after learning about what happened, but will Sarah let her? It's going to be an interesting dynamic going forward.

I'm looking forward to how this story finishes, and hopefully there is some good to come from all this for Sarah.

[spark]

5 minutes ago, JustaFoxGirl said:

Been reading this for a while (without an account) and feel like now is a good time to chime in with my thoughts.

 

Firstly, I'm glad that Sarah will finally be away from her psycho mother. Hopefully she can begin healing now, but I know this kind of abuse stays with a person. That being said..

The second thing is, speaking as someone who is incontinent, her acceptance of diapers is a good thing long-term. Despite all her best efforts in potty training, anytime Sarah made it to a toilet it felt more like she got lucky than anything. It seems pretty clear that she is, for all intents and purposes, incontinent. Being able to accept that and her needs is healthy, even if it came from a place of abuse.

Thirdly, once again trying to see a positive in the nightmare, perhaps Sarah will understand why Samantha likes being babied now. Even though she was forced and abused by it, and a lot of what she was thinking was a result of that, I can see her having a better understanding of how her friend feels. I recall it was something Sarah struggled to understand at the time and more or less went along with it because that's what friends do. Although after all this, I also wouldn't be surprised if Samantha is shocked out of wanting to do it anymore after learning about what happened, but will Sarah let her? It's going to be an interesting dynamic going forward.

I'm looking forward to how this story finishes, and hopefully there is some good to come from all this for Sarah.

Great thoughts!

@MinnesotaWriter did you do any research on types of incontinence that Sarah would have?  I don't do deep research, but I do check if there is a condition that could explain the issues.

The abuse broke Sarah.  The passage of time is intentionally vague, which makes sense given what Sarah has gone.   I sense that it is months rather than weeks because she lost track of the weekends.   

She is in a worse place than Lisa ever was,

I hope there is an update soon.