Recent Anti-Spanking Rants on TV

[Nat]

Lot of kids were spanked when I was growing up. I was spanked, my husband used to get hit with a belt and last time it happened, he was 16 because of his stupid friend and my husband just happened to be there when it happened and he didn't know it happened until he saw it. He did get rid of the friend. I was even hit with a wooden spoon. It didn't happen often. 

 

I am still waiting to do a crime lol and so is my husband. My parents are still waiting too. 

[cookiemonster23]

On 12/14/2020 at 1:24 AM, marinus18 said:

That is lazy parenting because she doesn´t make it clear why you deserve it. Our mom would always explain it exactly. She was an intellectual so believed understanding was key so we had to discipline. Punishment was merely a tool to make sure we would listen. Punishing a child without explanation regardless of if it's physical or not is abusive. Even if she didn't spank and just did things like grounding and chores without explaining why it would still be bad.

Really? Is that age truly accurate?

 

I think spankings have gone out of favor because people have more time to raise their kids. One big advantage of spankings is that they are much quicker. You don't have to go into lengthy talks. You can just tell them what they did wrong and spank them and they will accept it. Now however families are smaller and modern tech has drastically cut down on the time needed for household chores. Before children HAD to do their chores as a single mother was simply unable to do it on her own. Now though a single mother can do all the chores of a 3 children household reasonably easily. So making sure they do their chores is no longer essential and she has the time to spend on other discipline methods.

Also today the understanding of psychology is much greater than it was before so there are many more techniques available that don't include physical force. My mom was really into that and read all kinds of books and had quite elaborate and creative child rearing methods.

 

Therefore most spankings do not occur because a parent wants to responsibly teach their child discipline and have happy family but because they are too lazy to look into other methods or too selfish to put too much effort into their kids. Or worse of all they spank their children to blow off some steam. I think that's why many kids who are suffering spankings now develop a lot more damage. It's not the spankings themselves but usually the only parents who resort to them also have all kinds of other issues.

"she doesn't make it clear why you deserve it" Excuse me, what? I DIDN'T deserve it. No child deserves to be hit. 

[BabyJune]

Geez, in elementary school the paddle was the most-used method of discipline. We were actually afraid to misbehave. And if we got paddled in school, we also got it again when we got home.

[~Brian~]

6 hours ago, BabyJune said:

Geez, in elementary school the paddle was the most-used method of discipline. We were actually afraid to misbehave. And if we got paddled in school, we also got it again when we got home.

@BabyJune

I only saw one time that I remember when a teacher "punished" a student by spanking them.  When that happened, the Student said something or did something wrong, and the teacher just said, "You are gonna do this......or.....You will be spanked"  He  mouthed off to the teacher, and he was stood up, spanked 4 or 5 times, and then he was sit back down.  This happened when I was in third grade, and I was like "I'm not gonna get in trouble around here like that, because I KNOW what happens when I get home."  This was in the late 70's and I think it only happened once that I saw. 

I remember going to Florida in 1996, 1997, and 1999.  When I did that the friend I stayed with had a 7 to 8 year old son, and he had ADHD and was disabled.  He would get "excited" and would do things she thought were inappropriate when he would "lose control."  I believe the way that they dealt with this would be that he could be corporeally punished to deal with these issues.   This was used at school to deal with his issues.  For some reason, there were times when he would "lose control" and he would just say/do things that would make people squirm, because of him being a wise cracker - Lets just say he was "very disrespectful" and what he said made me go "WTF?"

Corporal Punishment in schools is illegal in most jurisdictions, but apparently (at the time) in Florida, it WAS legal if the parent(s) signed a waiver and an agreement that it was OK to use a "paddle" as a way to correct errant behavior.  I don't think you should spank, UNLESS there is a immediate Danger of harm, or if a parent believes there is a GOOD reason.  Any other use of punishment like this, is just a reason for someone to take out their anger or disapproval out on whoever is causing problems.  There are BETTER ways nowadays to get your point across:  "Spanking" can be used as way to deal with it, but when I was growing up, you basically knew as @BabyJune said, that if you got in trouble and paddled at school, you were gonna get it again when you got home, and that was something to be afraid of and AVOID at ALL COSTS!

I Don't sanction the type of punishments where someone is mad, and just hits to deal with their anger or disapproval:  That is NOT going to teach any lesson:  that just results in kids figuring out that if someone is mad at you, that you are OK to hit someone repeatedly and yell and scream.  This can HURT someone, and sends the wrong message:  That message is "Man, I better make sure I don't make someone mad/upset, or they will beat the heck outta me."  It also sets the stage for kids to be AFRAID to deal with their parents if they are in need of something.  Parents need to set an example that regardless of what happens, they have their kids back, and they can always come to them if they are in trouble:  If they are afraid of getting "spanked badly" they will shy away if they know what that means.

13 hours ago, cookiemonster23 said:

Excuse me, what? I DIDN'T deserve it. No child deserves to be hit.

@cookiemonster23

No child deserves to be Hit: That is a given, and I support that:  There are better ways now to get your point across, and communication with your kids is KEY:  If they KNOW your expectations, and what will happen if they are breached, they will be less likely to have a situation where a corporal punishment will need to be used.  I knew that as a kid, and sometimes, even I "took a punishment" like that because I didn't want to deal with my Mom punishing me:  I took a spanking ONCE, so that my transgretion would be "done with", and I was PROMISED that I would NOT have any further punishment, and Mom would NOT know, and wasn't told, and I was LIED to, and Mom Spanked me anyway:  so that means, I got spanked TWICE: one by her Boyfriend at the time, and once by her:  I hate spankings, because they were used a LOT when I was little.  No talk: a lot of yelling, and a lot of feeling like I didn't deserve some of that.   I feel for you, because back in the day, Parents used to threaten to spank all the time, and sometimes, you got whipped when you didn't deserve it

You are correct:  Children are Children, and they should be allowed to be kids.  They also should be taught that there are rules, and consequences for breaking them.  When a child breaks a rule, the consequence is enforced, based on the age and maturity and understanding of the child in question.  They do NOT deserve to be hit.  When you are "punishing" someone, this is supposed to be a teaching moment, and not a fight or a "whip the heck outta someone" moment.  a "swat on the butt" is one thing, and I've seen that dispensed by my family members, when misbehavior happens, but it is NOT a continuous whipping - That is WRONG

On 12/18/2020 at 2:22 AM, Nat said:

I was even hit with a wooden spoon. It didn't happen often. 

@Nat

Ohhhhh.......That Damn Wooden Spoon.........I hated that thing:  Mom used to threaten me with using that all the time!

Brian

Edited January 8, 2021 by ~Brian~
added a word

[philmydiaper]

On 12/18/2020 at 12:44 AM, Safari Baby said:

Was spanked and the belt but was never beaten so if done right it's harmless.  Now getting lifted on the ground by the neck and slammed into a wall that will mess with you for a bit!

I hear you buddy ! thats physicall abuse borderline assault. I would never wish that on any child or person. That would be poor parenting at its worst.

[1950potty]

When dealing with children corner time is valuable.  Now the child considers it is part of punishment (which it is) but It allows the parent to cool off.  One time my daughter made a big mistake, my now ex sent her to her room for 2 hours before my ex spanked her.  Yes we did spank but we never did it when angry.   It is not a bad idea for using corner time for any parent who needs to punish a child regardless of the method.

[Guest]

On 11/15/2018 at 10:24 AM, Angela Bauer said:

As many of you saw on-line and on TV in El Paso, TX on 12 October a mother caught her 14 year-old son joyriding in her BMW. She chased him, pulled him over and spanked him with a belt in public as cars drove by. All that was steamed on Twitter by her adult daughter. All the TV and cable networks showed the Twitter footage. Needless to say media and the public in Western Texas supported the mother. By the same token reaction in other places blamed "Spanking Texas Mom" Liza Martinez.

Even Fox network and cable dragged out old anti-spanking rants.

Is it true that every kid or teen who got spanked turns out to be violent? Is it possible to raise kids to be responsible adults without ever spanking?

No, this is not true, and no one who understands even vaguely that this is true.  What the research shows, is that children who receive corporal punishment, including spanking, are more likely to be violent.  You're setting up an argument such that it's trivial to dismiss.  All you need to prove this is *not* true, is to find *one* person who was spanked who isn't violent.  That's a straw man. 

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When I was growing up both of my parents were strongly anti-spanking. My maternal Granny lived next door and frequently told me, "Angela, what you need is a good hairbrush spanking!" By the time I was almost 14 I had become fascinated by romantic spanking. My youngest Aunt Betsy and her family had just bought the house across the street. Betsy made no secret that she spanked her kids including a girl 6 years younger than me. Several times I saw Betsy spank her daughter and her brother who was 8 years my junior.

Then one night Aunt Betsy caught me sneaking home way after curfew. She offered me a deal: She would spank me then or rat me out to my folks. Betsy had no clue about my spanking fascination. Of course I opted to be spanked. She used her hairbrush harder on me than on her kids. I cried and realized I deserved and needed to be spanked as punishment. About a year later my Mom changed her anti-spanking attitude and started spanking me and my younger siblings with a hairbrush. I am sure this made me a more responsible person.

Okay, so what do all of you think?

https://www.koco.com/article/spanking-your-kids/14476144

I can't say that I agree, many make this argument.  And maybe the idea of "no discipline," vs. "discipline involving spanking," this does make sense.  What I don't see is what discipline existed in your household *prior* to spanking being implemented.  There's a *huge* difference between erotic spanking, and *adult* "disciplinary" spanking, and spanking children. 

[Spanky]

@ModdyMoon now that spanking kids is pretty much a thing of the past, we can see the negative results.  Kids grow up learning that there's basically no real consequences for their actions.  Spanking has worked for centuries and now, all of a sudden,  it's a bad thing.   Corporal punishment needs to be brought back into the home and the school as a useful tool when other discipline strategies don't work. 

[foreverdl]

I was raised with spankings all my younger years, and same with all my family , we were not violent . I learned to respect when my dad said we did something wrong, we got punished, and I don't mean a green sticker or a red sticker. I think the sooner we get back to spankingg ( not leaving belt marks, bruises ) the sooner we will have less people in Prison.. I said that back in the days when I raised my son who is as old and older than a lot of people on DD, they could take him if I couldn't spank.....simple as that, I have a very nice 40 yr old son, he works 3 jobs out here and takes care of his wife , and she has many health issues and she walks like an 80 yr old, so for all that I am very proud of him, If it come to a vote ,,I will Vote to bring back spanking for punishment . with monitoring for abuse of it of course,, there are Way too many  brats out there.

3 hours ago, Spanky said:

@ModdyMoon now that spanking kids is pretty much a thing of the past, we can see the negative results.  Kids grow up learning that there's basically no real consequences for their actions.  Spanking has worked for centuries and now, all of a sudden,  it's a bad thing.   Corporal punishment needs to be brought back into the home and the school as a useful tool when other discipline strategies don't work. 

When I was in grade school, spanking was abused, I got spanked for daydreams  they said I was not paying attention , that was too far.

[Guest]

On 3/9/2025 at 9:04 AM, Spanky said:

@ModdyMoon now that spanking kids is pretty much a thing of the past, we can see the negative results.  Kids grow up learning that there's basically no real consequences for their actions.  Spanking has worked for centuries and now, all of a sudden,  it's a bad thing.   Corporal punishment needs to be brought back into the home and the school as a useful tool when other discipline strategies don't work. 

Spanking has failed for centuries, and back ages ago (1930s or so I would guess) there were serious concerns.  Yes, we can see the negative effects of spanking, now that we have people who can say they have been spanked, and people who were not spanked. 

This isn't a matter of people having some sort of anecdote about what has happened.  There's research out there.  Research you choose to believe is false somehow.  And believe some belief that people speaking about anecdotes, know more than actual scientists. 

That's good to know. 

23 hours ago, foreverdl said:

I was raised with spankings all my younger years, and same with all my family , we were not violent . I learned to respect when my dad said we did something wrong, we got punished, and I don't mean a green sticker or a red sticker. I think the sooner we get back to spankingg ( not leaving belt marks, bruises ) the sooner we will have less people in Prison.. I said that back in the days when I raised my son who is as old and older than a lot of people on DD, they could take him if I couldn't spank.....simple as that, I have a very nice 40 yr old son, he works 3 jobs out here and takes care of his wife , and she has many health issues and she walks like an 80 yr old, so for all that I am very proud of him, If it come to a vote ,,I will Vote to bring back spanking for punishment . with monitoring for abuse of it of course,, there are Way too many  brats out there.

When I was in grade school, spanking was abused, I got spanked for daydreams  they said I was not paying attention , that was too far.

You quote a reply to me between these two paragraphs.  I'm leaving this as it is, but going to respond to this in bits and bobs. 

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I was raised with spankings all my younger years, and same with all my family , we were not violent .

Let me put this into context...  You claim that you were not violent, but you experienced violence on a regular basis, and dismiss the violence of *that*.  Spanking is an act of violence. 

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I learned to respect when my dad said we did something wrong, we got punished, and I don't mean a green sticker or a red sticker.

"Respect" or would it be more accurate to call it fear?  Did you try to get away with stuff?  And just fear getting caught?  Or were you good uprigth and honest people who might slip from time to time and have violence inflicted on you for slipping up?

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I think the sooner we get back to spankingg ( not leaving belt marks, bruises ) the sooner we will have less people in Prison..

The main reason that we have people in prison is because of non-violent acts, and the incarcerating people who have done things which have not harmed other people.  This then trains them to be "better" criminals, and are very much more likely to return to prison.

That is before we start talking about the profit driven prison industry which want more prisoners.  As soon as you make it so that people don't benefit from housing prisoners, you will have less people in prison. 

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I said that back in the days when I raised my son who is as old and older than a lot of people on DD, they could take him if I couldn't spank.....simple as that, I have a very nice 40 yr old son, he works 3 jobs out here and takes care of his wife , and she has many health issues and she walks like an 80 yr old, so for all that I am very proud of him,

Much of this I just don't understand...  Why does he work 3 jobs?  Why is it that there's not just one job that would serve the needs there?

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If it come to a vote ,,I will Vote to bring back spanking for punishment . with monitoring for abuse of it of course,, there are Way too many  brats out there.

Could you explain what has been "taken away" that you would "bring back"?  And how would you deal with "monitoring"? 

I've never had to use violence against a child, or an animal.  That's weird.  They listen to me.  I don't see children who are brats.  I do see many abusive adults, and I suspect that if someone is promoting the use of violence against children, because there are "too many brats" out there, there's a very good chance they are quite likely abusive.

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When I was in grade school, spanking was abused, I got spanked for daydreams  they said I was not paying attention , that was too far.

How does your "world" view manage to allow "good spanking," and "prevent bad spanking." 

[foreverdl]

As I said there is a limit and I did say if a kid has marks or bruising someone needs to report them , 

I never said there's a Perfect answer. But many more people who were disciplined as a kid are responsible and good adults.

I said my piece about this, and I will not get into a conversation with moddymoon, you sound like an abusive adult.

That's not why I am on this site 

[rubbersheetmike]

On 3/10/2025 at 3:38 PM, foreverdl said:

I never said there's a Perfect answer. But many more people who were disciplined as a kid are responsible and good adults.

I agree with you on this. Me and my siblings were spanked as kids and we grew up to be responsible adults.

[foreverdl]

16 hours ago, rubbersheetmike said:

I agree with you on this. Me and my siblings were spanked as kids and we grew up to be responsible adults.

Thanks,  for your comments ...it's just horrible at least here in Ca, in are smaller town, we have younger idiots that don't respect any law, and we have several cars trucks stolen every night because for some reason the non disciplined ones think our car is free for the taking?? we pay good money for it and every chance ,, they will take what they want, and some think that's a crime that hurts no one?? what about when a $40k car gets stollen and with so called full coverage we get back half???? and on a fixed income we can't buy another dependable car to drive 45 mins for Dr appointment ?? Make the idiot Get a job.....

[Guest]

On 3/10/2025 at 12:38 PM, foreverdl said:

As I said there is a limit and I did say if a kid has marks or bruising someone needs to report them , 

I never said there's a Perfect answer. But many more people who were disciplined as a kid are responsible and good adults.

I said my piece about this, and I will not get into a conversation with moddymoon, you sound like an abusive adult.

That's not why I am on this site 

"You sound like an abusive adult"  This is said by someone who is willing to hit a child.  Thinks that children *deserve* to be hit.  That sounds like a lot of projecting.  Especially when it's to someone who has said, "Please don't hit children". 

"You don't want to do things to hurt children, that's abuse." is a fair translation of that.  Really? 

On 3/13/2025 at 8:48 PM, rubbersheetmike said:

I agree with you on this. Me and my siblings were spanked as kids and we grew up to be responsible adults.

Which doesn't prove that people who are spanked, are no more likely to be abusive.  Interestingly...  "I was hit as a child, and I feel it's a good thing to hit children," despite the actual research that shows this is very much harmful, shows that you *are* likely to be abusive. 

On 3/14/2025 at 1:15 PM, foreverdl said:

Thanks,  for your comments ...it's just horrible at least here in Ca, in are smaller town, we have younger idiots that don't respect any law, and we have several cars trucks stolen every night because for some reason the non disciplined ones think our car is free for the taking?? we pay good money for it and every chance ,, they will take what they want, and some think that's a crime that hurts no one?? what about when a $40k car gets stollen and with so called full coverage we get back half???? and on a fixed income we can't buy another dependable car to drive 45 mins for Dr appointment ?? Make the idiot Get a job.....

Where's your evidence for your claim.  Have there been studies done?  Are these studies using sound methodology?  Or are you using news reports as your evidence? 

I mean, everything you're saying here is just like hypethetical, which probably is almost certainly disputed by the very data that you're *refusing* to look at. 

It's good that you think that I'm the abusive adult here.  Not the person who wishes to force people to be put in a harmful situation, yourself.  Good to know that you know facts and logic so well. 

[Guest]

On 3/10/2025 at 12:38 PM, foreverdl said:

As I said there is a limit and I did say if a kid has marks or bruising someone needs to report them , 

I never said there's a Perfect answer. But many more people who were disciplined as a kid are responsible and good adults.

I said my piece about this, and I will not get into a conversation with moddymoon, you sound like an abusive adult.

That's not why I am on this site 

I asked, and you've not answered...

What is banned that you'd like to reinstitute?  What *specifically*? 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, foreverdl said:

Ok,,,,,, There is a way to teach Parents to use spanking, you DON'T spank when you are madd, you have to wait for a cool down time what ever it is 15mins an hour?? that way it is a conversation about hat they did wrong and why you are spanking. the child, But with a paddle, my mom used a switch we had to cut off the tree ourselves , but my first wife used a wooden spoon and all that did was hurt my sons pride, because I tried hitting my hand with it and it didn't hurt, my mom also used our ping pong toy after the ball and band was broken off, none of it hurt, but we didn't do what ever we had done again, as I said I am not the geniuses if you don't like to spank your kid, I really hope he has some form of scare from you so when you speak he or she knows you mean business . Now a days you don't even have to spank your kid, if you make threats of any punishment , all the kid has to do is call the police and you are in jail with a wild kid that gets there way and most likely will be in jail.....I don't have the resources you have to know that most people n jail don't belong there, because it never hurt anyone ..... I don't have the answers for every parent all kids are different one may never need any punishment , and the other who knows..

You're talking about how you would go about using punishment.  My question was about what you see has been taken away in this situation, which you'd like to see reinstituted.  What isn't possible to do, which you feel should be. 

I'm not talking about what might be considered unacceptable by people who have looked at the research, to find there is very little evidence to suggest there's a positive result that comes from using punishment as a form of operant conditioning.  Even whether operant conditioning is a useful way of bringing change with a relationship (especially caregiver/child). 

Where's your evidence for the claims that, "Now a days you don't even have to spank your kid, if you make threats of any punishment , all the kid has to do is call the police and you are in jail" because I have seen (and have gone looking) for cases where parents have faced consequences for behaviour as mild as you *claim* (spanking a child, not just threatening to).

Maybe, the CPS/police will come and "check out the situation," but you're stating clearly that you, "are in jail," for "threatening to punish" a child.  Where's your evidence.

You are making things up, about how you can't "do anything these days," as best I can tell.  Maybe you are caught in some silo where this is the predominant world view, and being able to see the factual basis, is unimportant. 

You say that you don't have the resources that I have.  What resources do you think I have that you are lacking, and if possible what would it take for you to "get them." 

If you believe that "jail never hurt anyone," I'm not sure where you're getting this belief from.

Also, if you believe that, then what's so wrong with a child who you have threatened to punish, having you sent to jail?

Are you making claims about some part of the world I literally am unable to know, because my language skills are lacking? 

I'm not asking you to provide answers "to every parent."  I'm asking you to explain what your basis for your outrage is.

[Guest]

59 minutes ago, foreverdl said:

Ok, I give up your a computer , I have no time to go on the web and do all this research , I know form what I heard back when I was raising my kid, they were saying it's not legal to spank your kid in any way or form, you will be Arrested  That was back in the early 1990's  Maybe the judges have gone the other way now, since my kid is 40 I haven't kept up on details like you, I don't have the time like you.  If you had an unruly kid that only related to a spanking ba ck then,,you had to let them run wild if you didn't find a restroom to get him/her to mind. You would have had the cops on you if you spanked them in public ..This was in the 90's,,,,, You are saying that all kids can be told just be nice and they will you sound like some of the people that never had kids or they were Very Very lucky to have an excellent kid , my son didn't need spanked very often but MY opinion most do need it to to have discipline and you can and all parents I knew back then would lead up to a paddling? once a kid remembers it the just saying it works,,if you have a kid thats not having tantrums on the floor of the store ?? I have seen that soo much more these days I A Not or were Ever an abusive Parent And spanking was taken away at least in the 90's in public , that I do know .

I am Done with Mr computer and I am Sorry I ever answered this thread, But only because of you.....

Where are you where they say that it's not legal to spank your kid.  I *know* there may be some places where that is true, and I have no idea where you're at (I believe I've asked several times, I certainly have meant to). 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_corporal_punishment_laws

Since you didn't have the 15 seconds to do that, there I've done it for you.  Looking to see if there's any evidence that *anyone* has been arrested for spanking their own children, I can find exactly zero reports of such.  I have *one* report of someone arrested for "spanking their neighbour's child". 

You've stated repeatedly that you don't want to participate, and I'm not forcing you to. 

You have made it very clear that you have *zero* interest in doing the research to see if you're actually basing your argument on actual facts, or just speaking from some hearsay that is ~35-40 years old (and is less likely to have been true at that time, than it is now). 

You state you, "haven't kept up on details..."  because "your child is 40..."  I have zero children, I'm 50 myself.  The main reason I take the time to look into this sort of thing, is because people making statements like you have, that seem very much to fall into, "that sounds like a reactionary response to something that has little to no support in facts."

You have presented no evidence to support your argument, you have not refuted (made a counter argument) anything that I have said.  I have asked repeatedly questions to help understand your argument.  You've called me, "a computer," and "likely abusive."  I have done my best to inform you of what I know (which is barely the tip of the iceberg of knowledge on the topic you claim to have reason to state that I know nothing about). 

As for, "You are saying that all kids can be told just be nice and they will" I have made *zero* arguments to that effect, I have disputed, and presented arguments contrary to what you have said. 

You have made mere asersions of "how things are" which I've demonstrated to be "not how things are." 

"you sound like some of the people that never had kids or they were Very Very lucky to have an excellent kid," I'm not making any argument about what I would do, so this is an irrelevant argument, to the person, rather than any argument which addresses what has been stated. 

I have been responding to your argument.  And your stated, "factual basis" for your argument.  I've asked for references, which you've refused to provide. 

I guess I want to ask something really important right now.  Are you interested at all in whether or not what you are saying is true?  (I don't like the term true, because what I am talking about is basically three things, a basis in facts, the validity of the premises from those facts, and the soundness of the argument from those premises, truth isn't really a fair term)

If you are interested in the "truth" of what you are arguing, why are you refusing to provide any support for what you're saying?

If you're not interested in the truth of what you're saying, then what is your purpose here?

I have to say, I have no care whether you respond or not.  If you decide *not* to further it, that's fair.  If you do, again that's fair. 

It's amazing how it's "my fault" that you got involved with this.  To quote you:

Quote

I am Done with Mr computer and I am Sorry I ever answered this thread, But only because of you.....

Yeah, I did some "harm" to you, by you responding to someone responding to me...  Why is it that you who were raised right, can't take personal responsibility?  I was 10 when your child was born.  So it's not because you've not lived as long as me, and are "just a kid".