Bad Jokes

[Shotgun Diplomat]

I collect knives, but my girlfriend doesn't get the point.

[Wet Knight]

There is a story, that when King Edward VII told his Mistress that he was going to launch a Battleship, he quipped that he had spent enough on her to build one.

Her reply was "You have spent enough spunk in me to float one"

[Bettypooh]

Prostitutes are all buy-sexual.

Bettypooh

[rusty pins]

The difference between Peanut Butter and Prostitutes - One spreads on bread, the other spreads for bread!

[Shotgun Diplomat]

So the Leper says to the Prostitute "You can keep the tip".

[rusty pins]

How do you make a hormone?

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

I always heard that you did it by kicking her in the side

[Jackiewope]

What do you call a black man with a medical degree?

[Bettypooh]

Three Blonds walk into a bar. The Brunette ducks under it

Bettypooh

[feralfreak]

ever hear of having rodeo sex? you get behind your wife, stick it in her ass, and whisper "your sister was better" and try to hold on for 8 seconds

[Wet Knight]

The Queen was placed next to the President of China at the formal banquet.

When the soup was served, the Queen turned to the President and enquired "Likey soupy?".

[notyalc]

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

[Mars.inDiapers]

A pair of jumper cords walks into a bar and the bartender says: Hey,

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Schroedinger's Cat walked into a bar and didn't

[Shotgun Diplomat]

My girlfriend is always complaining about being cold, whenever she does that I just tell her to "Sit in a corner, because it is always 90 degrees" she doesn't think it is acute joke about angles. Some people are a little obtuse though.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

You ar sooooo right

[Shotgun Diplomat]

For the Hallowe'en time. What did the Ghost say when he arrived at the party? "I am only here for the booze"

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

I went to a halloween party as a little girl and got chided for not being in disguise

[matt4]

Taken from "Not Will Ferrell"

My sex life is like a Ferrari. I don't have a Ferrari.

[rusty pins]

What did the maid say when she went to clean the hotel bathroom after Pope Francis left?

[Mars.inDiapers]

Two men and one woman of each of these nationalities are castaway on a beautiful, deserted island: Italian, French, German, Greek, English, Bulgarian, American, Japanese,

[Wet Knight]

A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt... there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons.

So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your
note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk.

Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde said,
"No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde said,
"No, just up to my tits ...
I can splash it on my eyes if I need to!"

[Shotgun Diplomat]

Whats black and doesn't work?

[dlover49]

A friend said he went to the nursing home to see his uncle back in November.

[Wet Knight]

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest,