Bad Jokes

[rusty pins]

2 hours ago, Apache Raccoon said:

I used to be a doctor, but I had to quit because I lost my patience

 

So that's why you're nursing a grudge!

[Firefly 35]

I saw the library has free tutoring, but somehow it is always booked.

[dlsafrica]

What do you call a court case in a barn?      A travesty of just horse

[rusty pins]

Like the farmer who won an award for being "Outstanding In His Field"

[Firefly 35]

On 6/10/2019 at 7:43 AM, rusty pins said:

Like the farmer who won an award for being "Outstanding In His Field"

Which is a pig deal for most farmers.

[feralfreak]

This is a play on words, a loaded diaper

[rusty pins]

Now you can really "shoot your load" in your diaper!

[rusty pins]

In the Norwegian Star Wars Harrison Fjord played Han Oslo. 

[Firefly 35]

What do you get by combining fluorine, uranium, carbon, and potassium?

FUCK!

[dlsafrica]

If a court case is held in a barn it is a travesty of just horse

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

I donot know, but if it is held at the North or South Pole, it is a travasty of just ice

So I sez to the Fairy; I sez "Wanda"

So I sez to the atheist; I sez "Godfrey"

[Pampersboy121]

I was going to tell you guys a gay joke, butt fuck it.

[Firefly 35]

18 hours ago, dlsafrica said:

If a court case is held in a barn it is a travesty of just horse

It better be mooooved somewhere else before it becomes a tractor of odd news.

[rusty pins]

A truck driver picked up a couple hitch hikers one afternoon.  It soon became apparent that they were gay.  The driver didn't care and was enjoying the conversation.  Finally one of the guys said, "I have to pass gas.  Is it OK?"  The driver said, "Sure!"  The guy let out a huge long noisy fart.  Soon after the other gay guy said, "I have to pass gas too" and he let out a huge long noisy fart, even noisier than his friend.  Finally the truck driver said, "I have to fart too"  He let out a quiet "poot".  The gay guys looked at each other and said in unison, "We know who's a virgin!  We know who's a virgin!"  (By the way, this joke was told to me by one of my friends who is gay).

[id0ntknow]

The monk from Diablo 3 always says "You have been defeated!" after killing enemies, but I've never seen any monsters with missing feet.

[dyperbole]

A girl named Darling had a particularly rough childhood because of her uncommon name.

Darling always got a lot of teasing and abuse at school. Eventually, after she had grown up and was married, she realized that the teasing actually made her stronger, and that having a unique name was actually a good thing.

So, when her first child was born, she talked her husband into naming their daughter 'Love,' knowing that while the child might be teased, she would grow up stronger and thank her one day. As expected, when Love started school, she endured much of the same teasing that Darling did, all because of her strange name.

One day, Love simply had had enough. She came home from school very angry and screamed at her dad, asking why her parents gave her such a stupid name. The husband, being a good man, took the blame of naming her to protect his wife and apologized.

In a fit of rage, Love shot him with her dart gun and ran away.

Minutes later, Darling came home and saw her husband lying on the ground.

"Oh my God, what happened?!" she asked, running to him.

He waved her closer, and whispered, "Shot with the dart, and you're to blame. Darling, you gave Love a bad name".

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

3 hours ago, dyperbole said:

A girl named Darling had a particularly rough childhood because of her uncommon name.

Darling always got a lot of teasing and abuse at school. Eventually, after she had grown up and was married, she realized that the teasing actually made her stronger, and that having a unique name was actually a good thing.

So, when her first child was born, she talked her husband into naming their daughter 'Love,' knowing that while the child might be teased, she would grow up stronger and thank her one day. As expected, when Love started school, she endured much of the same teasing that Darling did, all because of her strange name.

One day, Love simply had had enough. She came home from school very angry and screamed at her dad, asking why her parents gave her such a stupid name. The husband, being a good man, took the blame of naming her to protect his wife and apologized.

In a fit of rage, Love shot him with her dart gun and ran away.

Minutes later, Darling came home and saw her husband lying on the ground.

"Oh my God, what happened?!" she asked, running to him.

He waved her closer, and whispered, "Shot with the dart, and you're to blame. Darling, you gave Love a bad name".

That was the first joke of yours I read and it is such a groaner that it will be the last so let me say

Your very first "Chris" is your first "Chris 'good-bye'"

[Firefly 35]

Have you seen the donkey that always walks across the freeway?  What an ass.

[rusty pins]

On 8/21/2019 at 3:34 AM, Firefly 35 said:

Have you seen the donkey that always walks across the freeway?  What an ass.

I said that about the cute 20 year old girl in her tight jeans!

[feralfreak]

Hillbilly wife :"why ddont chu git sum dim pills dat make yu horny?"

Hillbilly husband :"yu mean yu want dim diet pills?"

She goes on trial for murder Monday 

[Firefly 35]

How do you know if your diapers are crappy?  

It depends.

[rusty pins]

Did you hear about the farmer?  He won an award for being "outstanding in his field"

[rusty pins]

What kind of tractor needs a diaper change?  'Messey' Ferguson!

[Firefly 35]

Why do they call it black Friday?

Be on Lookout for Assholes Cheaters & Knockoffs

Why do they call it Cyber Monday?

Card has Yet to Buy at Every Retailer

[dlsafrica]

On 9/26/2019 at 12:59 PM, rusty pins said:

Did you hear about the farmer?  He won an award for being "outstanding in his field"

That's outstanding