foofybabykitten Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 Why did the computer show up late to work? It had a hard drive. Link to comment
Firefly 35 Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 8 hours ago, foofybabykitten said: Why did the computer show up late to work? It had a hard drive. And the bus (of USB) was running late. Link to comment
Spatula Raccoon Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 A group of car friends named Elantra, Veloster, Accent, Tuscon and Ioniq all decided to use questionable chemicals to change the colour of there hair: why were they all zonked out afterwards? Because they were High On Dyes Link to comment
Spatula Raccoon Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 I used to be a doctor, but I had to quit because I lost my patience Link to comment
rusty pins Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 2 hours ago, Apache Raccoon said: I used to be a doctor, but I had to quit because I lost my patience So that's why you're nursing a grudge! 1 Link to comment
Firefly 35 Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 I saw the library has free tutoring, but somehow it is always booked. Link to comment
dlsafrica Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 What do you call a court case in a barn? A travesty of just horse Link to comment
rusty pins Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 Like the farmer who won an award for being "Outstanding In His Field" 1 Link to comment
Firefly 35 Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 On 6/10/2019 at 7:43 AM, rusty pins said: Like the farmer who won an award for being "Outstanding In His Field" Which is a pig deal for most farmers. Link to comment
feralfreak Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 This is a play on words, a loaded diaper 1 Link to comment
rusty pins Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 Now you can really "shoot your load" in your diaper! 1 Link to comment
Spatula Raccoon Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 At a wind farm, one windmill asked another windmill what kind of music they liked. To which the reply was, I'm a big metal fan. 1 Link to comment
Spatula Raccoon Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 In the Norwegian remake of ‘Raiders of the lost ark’: which actor played Indiana Jones? Harrison Fjord Link to comment
rusty pins Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 In the Norwegian Star Wars Harrison Fjord played Han Oslo. Link to comment
Spatula Raccoon Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 6 minutes ago, rusty pins said: In the Norwegian Star Wars Harrison Fjord played Han Oslo. lol Link to comment
Firefly 35 Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 What do you get by combining fluorine, uranium, carbon, and potassium? FUCK! Link to comment
dlsafrica Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 If a court case is held in a barn it is a travesty of just horse Link to comment
Little BabyDoll Christine Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 I donot know, but if it is held at the North or South Pole, it is a travasty of just ice So I sez to the Fairy; I sez "Wanda" So I sez to the atheist; I sez "Godfrey" Link to comment
Pampersboy121 Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 I was going to tell you guys a gay joke, butt fuck it. 1 Link to comment
Firefly 35 Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 18 hours ago, dlsafrica said: If a court case is held in a barn it is a travesty of just horse It better be mooooved somewhere else before it becomes a tractor of odd news. Link to comment
rusty pins Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 A truck driver picked up a couple hitch hikers one afternoon. It soon became apparent that they were gay. The driver didn't care and was enjoying the conversation. Finally one of the guys said, "I have to pass gas. Is it OK?" The driver said, "Sure!" The guy let out a huge long noisy fart. Soon after the other gay guy said, "I have to pass gas too" and he let out a huge long noisy fart, even noisier than his friend. Finally the truck driver said, "I have to fart too" He let out a quiet "poot". The gay guys looked at each other and said in unison, "We know who's a virgin! We know who's a virgin!" (By the way, this joke was told to me by one of my friends who is gay). Link to comment
id0ntknow Posted July 29, 2019 Share Posted July 29, 2019 The monk from Diablo 3 always says "You have been defeated!" after killing enemies, but I've never seen any monsters with missing feet. Link to comment
dyperbole Posted July 29, 2019 Share Posted July 29, 2019 A girl named Darling had a particularly rough childhood because of her uncommon name. Darling always got a lot of teasing and abuse at school. Eventually, after she had grown up and was married, she realized that the teasing actually made her stronger, and that having a unique name was actually a good thing. So, when her first child was born, she talked her husband into naming their daughter 'Love,' knowing that while the child might be teased, she would grow up stronger and thank her one day. As expected, when Love started school, she endured much of the same teasing that Darling did, all because of her strange name. One day, Love simply had had enough. She came home from school very angry and screamed at her dad, asking why her parents gave her such a stupid name. The husband, being a good man, took the blame of naming her to protect his wife and apologized. In a fit of rage, Love shot him with her dart gun and ran away. Minutes later, Darling came home and saw her husband lying on the ground. "Oh my God, what happened?!" she asked, running to him. He waved her closer, and whispered, "Shot with the dart, and you're to blame. Darling, you gave Love a bad name". Link to comment
Little BabyDoll Christine Posted July 29, 2019 Share Posted July 29, 2019 3 hours ago, dyperbole said: A girl named Darling had a particularly rough childhood because of her uncommon name. Darling always got a lot of teasing and abuse at school. Eventually, after she had grown up and was married, she realized that the teasing actually made her stronger, and that having a unique name was actually a good thing. So, when her first child was born, she talked her husband into naming their daughter 'Love,' knowing that while the child might be teased, she would grow up stronger and thank her one day. As expected, when Love started school, she endured much of the same teasing that Darling did, all because of her strange name. One day, Love simply had had enough. She came home from school very angry and screamed at her dad, asking why her parents gave her such a stupid name. The husband, being a good man, took the blame of naming her to protect his wife and apologized. In a fit of rage, Love shot him with her dart gun and ran away. Minutes later, Darling came home and saw her husband lying on the ground. "Oh my God, what happened?!" she asked, running to him. He waved her closer, and whispered, "Shot with the dart, and you're to blame. Darling, you gave Love a bad name". That was the first joke of yours I read and it is such a groaner that it will be the last so let me say Your very first "Chris" is your first "Chris 'good-bye'" Link to comment
Firefly 35 Posted August 21, 2019 Share Posted August 21, 2019 Have you seen the donkey that always walks across the freeway? What an ass. 1 Link to comment
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