Little BabyDoll Christine Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 You-Can't-Make-This-Stuff-Up Dept Given what the NATIONAL ENQUIRER deals in, and is currently involved in, and who his longtime friend is and what he is like in terms of priapism, is it any surprise that the CEO of seaid scandal sheet is named David Pecker? Link to comment
rusty pins Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 38 minutes ago, Little Christine said: You-Can't-Make-This-Stuff-Up Dept Given what the NATIONAL ENQUIRER deals in, and is currently involved in, and who his longtime friend is and what he is like in terms of priapism, is it any surprise that the CEO of seaid scandal sheet is named David Pecker? I thought of that yesterday when he was the subject of some interesting news stories! Can you imagine some of these people with weird last names when they were in school? I remember the Chicago Bears football player Ryan Wetnight. I can imagine the teasing he got at school! "Did you wet your bed again last night? He He He" "Why don't you just wear diapers to bed? Ha Ha Ha!" Then again, as big of a football player he was, maybe he didn't get teased that much! And my own opinion? Anyone who publishes a rag like The National Inquirer is a pecker! Link to comment
dyperbole Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 5 hours ago, rusty pins said: I thought of that yesterday when he was the subject of some interesting news stories! Can you imagine some of these people with weird last names when they were in school? I remember the Chicago Bears football player Ryan Wetnight. I can imagine the teasing he got at school! "Did you wet your bed again last night? He He He" "Why don't you just wear diapers to bed? Ha Ha Ha!" Then again, as big of a football player he was, maybe he didn't get teased that much! And my own opinion? Anyone who publishes a rag like The National Inquirer is a pecker! Same with Dick Butkus...... Link to comment
Little BabyDoll Christine Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 1 hour ago, dyperbole said: Same with Dick Butkus...... He has the name, but not th pedigree: Head of the most sordid bit of fake news scandal sheet and buddies with the biggest Peckerhead in thw world AND having them intertwined. Beat THAT bit of lowlife breeding Link to comment
rusty pins Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 I think one of the best names that really tops things off is a politition who was running for office in Michigan in the early 1980's. His name was Richard Headly, and if you Google that name you will find many others. Imagine going through life with the nickname, "Dick Head!" Link to comment
Little BabyDoll Christine Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 Here is a true story. During the last 8 years or so, you probably heard of a General David Zaisz (sp?) from Fall River MA born in the mid 19teens. My aunt, born in 1915 went to school with him and she told me about the biggest hoot in her class was that his name was pronounced "Zass" locally. Well morning class roll was called alphabetically, and immediately before his name was "Robert Tickle [there is a Tickle Rd in Westport Ma]" Need I tell the story further or can you figure it out? I get verification from someone whose mom was also in that class about 3 years ago Link to comment
raekun Posted August 28, 2018 Share Posted August 28, 2018 not really a joke, but more of a riddle. Anybody ever notice how we drive on parkways and park on driveways? i would almost bet my soul that somebody has posted this at some point, though if not kudos to me i guess Link to comment
vvp39 Posted August 28, 2018 Share Posted August 28, 2018 ...one of the oldest memes online. But why wouldn't it be? Link to comment
Little BabyDoll Christine Posted August 28, 2018 Share Posted August 28, 2018 9 hours ago, raekun said: not really a joke, but more of a riddle. Anybody ever notice how we drive on parkways and park on driveways? i would almost bet my soul that somebody has posted this at some point, though if not kudos to me i guess In the Northeast, "Parkway" also refers to a road from which trucks are banned due to the height restrictions of some overpasses. Ever see the traffic or accident nightmare that ensues when a 13'4" high truck tries to get under a 13'1" overpass? Gordian Knot on PED's and the police can't just take a sword to it Link to comment
rusty pins Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 Teacher: "Can someone use the word 'Definitely' in a sentance?" Girl: "The sky is definitely blue." Teacher: "No, the sky can have many colors. White, Pink, Grey. The word definitely has stronger meaning. Anyone else?" Boy: "The grass is definitely green." Teacher: "Well, the grass can sometimes be yellow or brown too. Someone else?" Other boy: "Teacher, does a fart have lumps?" Teacher: "Johnny! No!" Johnny: "Then I definitely shit my pants!" Link to comment
raekun Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 On 8/28/2018 at 11:24 AM, Little Christine said: In the Northeast, "Parkway" also refers to a road from which trucks are banned due to the height restrictions of some overpasses. Ever see the traffic or accident nightmare that ensues when a 13'4" high truck tries to get under a 13'1" overpass? Gordian Knot on PED's and the police can't just take a sword to it No but I have heard of a truck *attempting* to go under an 11.8 bridge Link to comment
foofybabykitten Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 Me and my girlfriends spent a week in Rio this summer. Yea, it was riol boring surprisingly, it was too rainy to do anything and experience any riol nightlife, or daylife, or anylife for that matter. Link to comment
Firefly 35 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 I always wondered if I would fit in at New Jersey - I only have old ones. Link to comment
rusty pins Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 If Miss issipi gave Mis ouri her new jersey, what would Dela ware? Al Ask A. What state has the most flowers? Florida (flora -DUH!) Link to comment
Firefly 35 Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 What do you call iron drifting in the wind? Fe breeze! What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? You may have graduated, but I have a lot of degrees! Why is iron man actually a girl? Because iron man is Fe male. Link to comment
rusty pins Posted September 10, 2018 Share Posted September 10, 2018 When does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout? When he eats his first Brownie! Link to comment
willnotwill Posted September 10, 2018 Share Posted September 10, 2018 8 hours ago, rusty pins said: When does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout? When he eats his first Brownie! If you're looking for adventure of a new and different kind, And you come across a girl scout who is similarly inclined, Don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared... be prepared. The above is from Tom Lehrer's "Be Prepared" parody. Amusingly, this is the tamer of the lyrics, still pretty risque for 1953. Originally, it was:"If you’re out behind the woodshed doing what you'd like to do, just be sure that your companion is a Boy Scout too, Link to comment
Spatula Raccoon Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 If you want a My Little Pony toy but haven’t got one why should you consider painting your cars interior fascia in various bright colours? Because then you’ll have a Rainbow Dash Link to comment
rusty pins Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 A woman was complaining to her friend that her husband just wasn't paying much interest in her anymore in a sexual way. Woman: "I try everything at night but my husband just isn't interested in me anymore" Friend "The same thing happened to me a couple of years ago but I found a solution. Try wearing your nighty backwards. It really turns on my husband!" Woman: "Really? I'll give it a try tonight!" The woman goes home, her husband comes home from work, eats dinner, sits in the livingroom chair and watches TV all evening long. Finally the woman goes into the bedroom, puts on her nighty backwards and comes out into the livingroom dancing and flirting in front of her husband. He looks up at her and then goes back to watching the TV with no comment or interest. Woman: "Don't you notice anything different tonight?" Husband: "Yeah. The shit stains are in front now". Link to comment
Lil'PinkDi-dee Posted October 4, 2018 Share Posted October 4, 2018 If "con" is the opposite of "pro", then congress is the opposite of progress. Anyone in the USA knows that. Link to comment
BabyJune Posted October 4, 2018 Share Posted October 4, 2018 Some people act nonchalant, but you never see people acting chalant. 1 Link to comment
rusty pins Posted October 5, 2018 Share Posted October 5, 2018 Remember you have to be "diculous" before you can be "rediculous". You have to be "dundant" before you can be "redundant". And do you have to "move" something before you can "remove" it? Link to comment
dyperbole Posted October 5, 2018 Share Posted October 5, 2018 I'm not disgruntled. In fact, I'm quite gruntled. Link to comment
rusty pins Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 13 hours ago, dyperbole said: I'm not disgruntled. In fact, I'm quite gruntled. I imagine you gruntle a lot when pushing out a hard load into your diaper! 1 Link to comment
Firefly 35 Posted October 7, 2018 Share Posted October 7, 2018 On 10/5/2018 at 4:29 PM, dyperbole said: I'm not disgruntled. In fact, I'm quite gruntled. There are two types of companies: Limited Liability Corporations and Lunatic Led Catastrophies Link to comment
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