Wearing diapers at a wedding

[growlycub]

I play guitar a bunch and it ends up that I have to play at a wedding on Saturday. My bandmates don't know about my diapers and I am trying to figure out a good way to hide that. I could just tell them, but I don't know if I want to go there.

[lilbitbaby]

I would recommend a cloth diaper that way nobody will really know the difference they would be easier in this situation also wear something over it and it will be harder if you have to wear one of those that have thick diapers it makes less crinkles sound

[Little Girl Milly]

I don't have any substantial advice, but if you're performing at a wedding, the one thing most people will be interested in is the quality of the music you produce. That plus I doubt you know any of the guests attending the wedding (unless it's a favour for a friend), in which case most people won't even remember your face once you've gone (if something were to go awry).

[hlcl]

If possible, I would wear dark pants in case of a leak. People probably won't notice a you are wearing a diaper but they will notice a leak.

Consider plastic pants to help contain any leaks.

This is not the time to experiment with a new diaper. Whatever diaper you decide to wear, give it a trial before the wedding. A diaper that works for someone else might not work for you.

Please let us know how it goes.

[babyalan]

I would recomend a cloth backed disposable like Kendalls Lille Supreme Or the Abena X Plus and wear a loose baggy pair of pants with a long sleeve shirt not tucked in only someone who is looking for it will recognize it and wear a nice form fitting pair of undies over them.

[rusty pins]

Like Milly asked, are you actually incontinent?

[WakkoWannaBe]

Yeah Milly and Rusty Pins already hit what I was gonna say.

[diaperpt]

OK, so rusty pins and Milly have put up the right question. Also, though, will you be in your own car or in someone else's? In your own car it might be easy to stash a couple extra diapers in an obscure place like the spare tire well (if there is one). I may pack my diapers in a backpack, but each one is wrapped in a plastic grocery bag (you could use a small opaquel trash bag). That way, you can go to your back pack and take into the bathroom only the one diaper, which depending on your clothes can be tucked somewhere it can't be seen. Or just take your backpack. Unless you've got crappy diapers (no no... not THAT kind of crappy!) you should be able to go for 4 or 5 hours w/o a change - I can sometimes go up to 7-8 hrs or even longer with my Abena M-4's. This will limit the number of times you've got to change.

[Baby Brian]

I'd recommend you wear loose, black pants. More likely than not, nobody will notice you wearing one this way. I wouldn't go with cloth like diapers though, they are much more likely to leak and a wet spot is much more obvious than a diaper bulge. I wouldn't wear cloth either. They are inherently thicker, will smell more than a disposable would, and you won't be able to discretely dispose of them when you change. Go with a good premium diaper like abena xplus, molicare, or xp l4. Don't bother with adding a soaker either, they too will make your diaper bulge more obvious. You will have to carry a back pack with you to keep a few changes in, but when someone asks about it just say it's personal, or medical supplies, and that you don't want to get into it.

[growlycub]

Okay, to clear things up, I have been working to get self-induced incontinence since mid-January. It has caused me to have legitimate daytime and nighttime issues. It's not like I have no control, but it's getting there, especially at night. So no, I do not want to take a break from the diapers because of worries associated with that.

The other part of it is that I don't want to backpedal the training.. But if you guys think it's too risky for me to purposely wet as much as I have been, then I suppose I can suck it up and wet less often.

Sorry about the confusion.

[WakkoWannaBe]

Oh man this is gonna sound totally jerk-ish, but I take this advice from the widely-worshiped 9 month program.

[growlycub]

Oh man this is gonna sound totally jerk-ish, but I take this advice from the widely-worshiped 9 month program.

If you started taking the steps to become IC...then you should have, before you started, become okay with the idea of telling people in your life that you are IC and that you have to wear diapers. I mean idk what your process was. Maybe you were okay with it. Maybe you were partially okay with it, and thought that when the time came you would be ready (and maybe "the time" came a bit sooner than expected). Maybe you didn't think about it, but were okay with it on a slightly conscious level. Or wholly unconscious. Idk.

But....if this is the case then this might be a good time to say something to your band mates. This is probably a big step in your journey to become IC - but if becoming IC is really something you want, then you're going to have to get over this fear sooner rather than later. If you feel like it's too soon, then try to suck it up for a weekend (or maybe use a pad and regular underwear?), but otherwise tell yo peeps, yo.

Of course, I'm not trying to become IC so idk if my 2 cents is worth anything o.O.

No I don't think you're being jerk-ish. You make a legitimate point, and I may just tell them. The problem is though, they're not in my life that much. I've only been playing with them since December or so. This could also potentially be our last gig depending on circumstances.

So all in all, I'm undecided if that's the option I want to take. I think right now that I want to use that as a last resort if there is no other way to hide this.

[Spargano]

Or do as I did the week my friend visited. You need to be ready with an explanation if it gets brought up, but it really isn't anyone's business. Not everyone needs to know.

Follow the advice given in this thread and you should be fine. If someone asks, be honest but vague "medical" for bringing your backpack to the bathroom to change.

As has been said. If you wear a decent diaper before each stage of your journey you should be fine.

Change before the trip. Change when you get there. Change before the gig. Change before the hanging out.

If you get pushed into a corner. You are, I assume, armed with your medical knowledge of your condition which I am sure is greater than theirs. This is a disability, and as such should be respected. If they don't respect it, then these are grade A assholes

Spargano

[maly]

This post belongs in the incontinent desires sub forum not this one.

Maly.

[Bettypooh]

You need to be ready with an explanation if it gets brought up, but it really isn't anyone's business. Not everyone needs to know.

[DavidMW]

I'll suggest Molicares.

[Guest fakename7]

Since you are intentionally working toward incontinence, the WORST thing you could do is decide to take a "break" from your diapers for the weekend.

[babyleanna75]

Buy either abena 4 series plastic backed or molicares strongest diaper and you may need two back packs I use to have duffle bag big enough to carry all the bats that a baseball team needs dont know wear to find the big duffle bags anymore walmarts kamart and target has gotton smalleron all their backpacks and duffle bags for some reason its getting harder to find a backpack to carry diapers. I think part of the reasons for smaller backpacks is ipads and laptops being uses more in schools so kids are carrying less books

[growlycub]

So the wedding actually went great. I was able to conceal the diapers at least moderately well by wearing baggier shorts and dress pants. I was also limiting my liquids intake which was helpful.

[babyleanna75]

I know what you mean I have been dehydrated for two weaks and had stinky diapers the whole time. My meds caused pannick attack type symptoms which made it hard to drink cause of my breathing. Glad the wedding went good.

[Spargano]

You impeded nothing. You dealt with it exactly right and just as normal ic people do.

Spargano

[Bettypooh]

Glad everything went well and I hope you have more confidence in yourself now, you handled it as well as anyone could have.

[WakkoWannaBe]

So was this the last gig for your band or are y'all gonna continue?

[diaperpt]

At the risk of duplicating Spargano and Bettypooh, good for you!! This is a big step in accepting yourself and has generated a discussion which might be helpful to others whether they are incontinent, want to be incontinent or simply like the idea of wearing diapers.

[Guest fakename7]

Great job, Growlycub!