Death

[spoonchicken]

Several days ago on the "Todays Birthdays" listing, the name of a deceased member (who commited suicide about two years ago) came up on the list. So, before I offer advice to DailyDi, I'm undecided.....Should we remove those names to avoid hurt feelings of those

[WakkoWannaBe]

Really interesting question. I'm definitely in the "keep them" camp. Despite that they are no longer with us, they have touched people's lives for better or for worse. And, regardless of whether they touched your life in a good or bad way, it is necessary to celebrate the fact that they existed - because either way grew as a person for having interacted with them.

[BabyGizmo]

This came up alot on facebook, as when people die their accounts are not closed (it is imposable to permanently close a facebook account anyway) and on their birthdays, all their friends receive a "Wish XXXX a happy birthday" anyway.

[notababy]

It is not impossible to remove a Facebook account. I speak from experience.

[Hookedondiapers]

I say keep them.

[astrodiaper]

I don't know anyone that formally here, but I've had family and some acquaitences (?) commit suicide. Usually, about the time a birthday comes around, someone will post something on FB, whether it be a song or a pic. Here, that's a tough call. If someone here were to find out that I indeed died, I would want my name removed. It is in my final wishes that I don't anything named for me snd to be forgotten.

[Dirty Diaper/Maxipad Lover]

Really interesting question. I'm definitely in the "keep them" camp. Despite that they are no longer with us, they have touched people's lives for better or for worse. And, regardless of whether they touched your life in a good or bad way, it is necessary to celebrate the fact that they existed - because either way grew as a person for having interacted with them.

[thickdiaperedbaby]

I vote for leaving them intact. I say if you have other wishes, that perhaps a pm to dailydi with your wishes, should, God forbid, that happen. My brother passed away at a young age from cancer, and his Facebook page is an everlasting memorial to the good times he had while with us. Since this is typically a "happy" place for most of us, I'd vote to keep, and not remove, deceased members profiles.

[Zander]

I feel very strongly we should have a "psudo-deletion" or "account-retirement" process here. I wish people would stop thinking that "active" (here) and "deleted" (gone) are the only options, as there are other ways we can sensibly protect users and remove unused accounts and other such crap from the site.

I made a post in back in August 2011 (in the 'Can You Please Delete My Account' topic) which I think helps explain my thinking here:

[repetitivediaperwetter88]

Death is a tough subject for a lot of people but When I hear the song "Don't Fear the Reaper" I think that if something were to happen to me, just keep my name on here.

[repetitivediaperwetter88]

PS, If something were to happen to me I wish to be buried in a diaper and dressed AB in my Closed Coffin. Thank you.

[BabyTara]

I would like my name to stay if I were to pass.

[spoonchicken]

Well so far the wind is blowing towards leaving the names in place.....

[froggy]

i think the names of our departed friends should remain but with the addition of a notation that they have died somehow connected with the name on the profile and the birthday list.

[astrodiaper]

Call me crazy, but wasn't there someone suggesting a PM to an admin, stating one's wishes? Anyhoo, I see very strong arguments for leaving the profile. I'm still of mind to seek removal of my name. While others may disagree, I don't find myself particularly memorable. To me, it seems the harm I've caused, great or small will live on more than the good I've done. But I will admit to being a pessimist with a fatalistic view. But it's like my father says, "Today's today, tomorrow's tommorrow.

[WakkoWannaBe]

Or, as Brutus would say "The evil men do lives after them, and the good is oft interred with their bones"

[SoCalAB]

We remember the birthdays of those passed on and recall their contributions to the world.

[spoonchicken]

It has been suggested recently that it might be a good idea to add some sort of an "R.I.P." tag or badge to a deceased members profile page. Not my idea, but I think it's a very good suggestion. And so does DailyDi himself. Pending further discussion, I for one would like to see this happen.. Your thoughts, everyone?

[WakkoWannaBe]

I think this has already been touched on, but since we're an internet community: what is the real difference between a user actually dying and a user who just decides that they wanna stop hanging out on the site?

[spoonchicken]

Yes it does, and the R.I.P badge should be reserved only for those we know to be deceased, and no one else.

[spoonchicken]

My latest idea is that every deceased member deserves their own thread in the Memorial Forum. To that end, I have started some new threads to accomplish this purpose. Please feel free to post your thoughts / feelings / memories of these folks...they deserve it

[WakkoWannaBe]

is the memorial thread new? I noticed that you posted a lot of topics there and thought it might be.

[spoonchicken]

yes it's brand-new

[WakkoWannaBe]

^ That's a bit much for me. I wouldn't want that to happen to me (well...on second though...maybe?), but I can definitely sympathize.