I Need Some Opinions On This!

[diaperedandloveit]

I had though about trying to sit down and talk to my mother about me wearing diapers. That I don't want to be babied, being bottle fed, suck a pacifier or have her change my diapers when they need it. That I just feel like wearing diapers sometimes and that I really don't have a reason why. All I want is the freedom to wear them when I want to, even if that includes letting her know that I am wearing a diaper. Well after reading numerous discussion about this topic and seeing what others had to think, I decided against telling her. I figured I would come out and tell her everything if: A) She finds my stash, AGAIN, and demands answers for why I have them, or b: Lo and behold she catches me actually wearing on and sure enough demanding answers on why I am doing this. I would like to know what ya'll think about this!

[ABigDL]

As long as you're not scared of the repercussions.. sounds like a plan. good luck!

[ThomasInWVa]

I'm not sure why your mother needs to know anything. If you are living in the same house, I can see how she could find out a number of ways but at 27, your underwear usage isn't a topic for your mother. It doesn't matter if she finds out or not, if she does you don't need to tell her anyting. Gently inform her it isn't a topic for discussion. If she is concerned for you physical well-being as most mothers are, just tell her it isn't a serious condition and you are fine and not to worry. Leave it there. Don't try to explain anything.

If you are living at home with your monther you may be bumping up against the idea that you still a kid in her house, etc. You need to fix THAT problem. At 27, you are an adult and she should not be snooping around your things. What would she say if you snooped around and found her vibrator collection?

If you are living in your mother's house, you need to move out and get a place of your own. Spending money anything recreational instead of getting a place of your own is the real problem. It doesn't matter if its is video games, extreme sports, nights out with the guys, or diapers.

[sarah_ab]

not everyone who lives in their parents house when they are older does it because they can't afford it..... there are many reasons for an older adult child to be living with their parents.... lets not assume the OP lives there strictly due to financial reasons...

HOWEVER i do agree you mother has no business snooping in your things, but if you are purposely leaving diapers out than its not all her fault, for example if she opens the door to your room because she is looking for all the missing spoons and knows you constantly bring food to your room, and you hav eleft your diapers and stuff all over the floor and bed... than its not entirely her fault for finding them....

Even if she finds them, unless she asks, theres no reason for you to even let on you know she has found them. Just carry on as usual. And if she asks just tell her its private, and you don't want to talk about it.. if she pushes first say "well mom, i wanted to ask you about your underwear first.... and while we are on it.. do you enjoy vibrators? or butt plugs?" and when she says "thats inappropriate." just say "exactly" and leave the converastion and room.

[gah!ghost]

Yeah I lived with my parents for quite some time into my late 20s simply because it was mutually beneficial. I paid more in rent and bills when I lived with them than I do on my own. Not that I'm complaining, simply stating. I think sarah and I have talked about this before and have similar thoughts on the largely American idea of "living with your family means there's something wrong with you". I think in some respects I lived with my parents as long as I did to spit in the face of that concept.

When I did live with them though they kept out of my business and I think maybe the OP should have a talk with his mother about that rather than any of the specifics of a diaper fetish. That's none of her business and she probably doesn't want to know in any event. Private does not equal shame or "bad". Some things are just private and there's nothing wrong with that.

I don't see living at home as the problem here. You could have very similar issues with any roommates. You just need to set boundaries.

[Bettypooh]

I had though about trying to sit down and talk to my mother about me wearing diapers. That I don't want to be babied, being bottle fed, suck a pacifier or have her change my diapers when they need it. That I just feel like wearing diapers sometimes and that I really don't have a reason why. All I want is the freedom to wear them when I want to, even if that includes letting her know that I am wearing a diaper. Well after reading numerous discussion about this topic and seeing what others had to think, I decided against telling her. I figured I would come out and tell her everything if: A) She finds my stash, AGAIN, and demands answers for why I have them, or b: Lo and behold she catches me actually wearing on and sure enough demanding answers on why I am doing this. I would like to know what ya'll think about this!

The first thing I think is that at 27 you should not be accidentally getting 'caught'. You are old enough to figure out ways to avoid that will work. There are many threads here regarding how to hide your stash if you need ideas. Second is that most people can move out from the parents by then, and if you are doing something they don't want you to do in their home, then you need to have your own place simply out of respect for them. In your own home, you set the rules, and that's how things should be. Third is your approach to 'getting caught' (again?) seems to be little different than your outright telling them everything

My choice of discretion is partially for my sake and partially for the sake of everyone else. I can handle being outed but my life is easier if that doesn't happen I care enough about them to not want to trouble their minds or hearts with something that does not need to be part of their life- they are doing fine and quite happy not knowing a thing. With this all going so well I am not willing to do something that could make things worse for everybody. I have the ability to do this and so do you. Should my efforts at discretion fail I have already planned my responses based on who, where, and how that discovery happened. My family members, who love me and are concerned for my health and well being, will get "I'm dealing with a little problem and I'm fine, the doctor said so, and I'd rather not discuss this". If they press it, I go into some details of what SI, UI, and OAB are and how common it is. I blow their minds by informing them that it can happen to anybody anytime, even them, thus ending the conversation while they consider that Such a response eases their concerns about my health and tells them it's not really a problem for me, and that's all they really need to know. Lesser relationships get lesser responses.

The overall theme I see here is that you want your Mom's approval for wearing and it seems that isn't likely to happen. You cannot change anyone but yourself; everyone else is going to be and do as they want to, so all you can do is figure out how you are going to deal with them. I hate that I have to pull on pants just to step outside for a moment so that my diaper isn't visible. I hate having to monitor my diaper's wetness so I don't leak. I hate having to check that I'm not exposed when I'm out and about, but the effort is worth it because more than anything I'd hate for this to become a problem when it doesn't have to be one!

The easiest way is to try to do things so that you don't have to deal with others unless you want to- discretion I wear 24/7 and they haven't yet figured it out so they probably won't. I can and do wear whenever I want to and you can too. I cover up to be considerate to them- especially those I care most about, and in so doing I take care of me too.That is the best perspective and the best approach to wearing for most of us here to have

Even though it is me and not them who wears diapers, that does not give me the right to possibly trouble them over it. That is my choice so long as it remains hidden, and knowing that I can change that choice if I want to makes me feel better in seeing that I am not really boxed in or stuck any more than I choose to be. My choice has made things go well for everyone so I will stick with it's success even through the times when I wish i could be more open about my wearing

Bettypooh

[diaperedandloveit]

Even though it is me and not them who wears diapers, that does not give me the right to possibly trouble them over it. That is my choice so long as it remains hidden, and knowing that I can change that choice if I want to makes me feel better in seeing that I am not really boxed in or stuck any more than I choose to be. My choice has made things go well for everyone so I will stick with it's success even through the times when I wish i could be more open about my wearing

Bettypooh

Thank you for you advice. I would like to know what your method of disposal is while at home? When your out and about with your family and you have to change, what do you use to have diapers on hand to change in to?

[diapered1964]

Every time I try to bring up the subject of me wearing diapers with my mother, who by the way knows that I wear and use my diapers for what diapers are intended to be used for, she just changes the subject.

Its like she is fine knowing her adult son wears diapers but she does not want to talk about it.

My mother found out about me wearing diapers way back in 1972 when I was 8 years old, as that was the first time I had been caught wearing a diaper and punished for doing so.

Summer of 87 I had a ATV accident, started wearing diapers full time around the family, and was not worried if someone noticed them.

All my family knows I wear them, none care to talk about it.

So I dont think you will have to much to worry about if your mother happens to stumble apond your diaper stash.

[Amyuser]

well if you live under her roof of course its her rules what ever age you are,if you live in your own "poverty palace" well she may not like it or agree with it but she is your Mother and there is something that i firmly hold on to and that is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and if your Mom does not give it tell her to see repaid 1 or another therapist at a brick and mortar counseling agency.

Rules of raising a a respectful honorable child as believed by me:

Unconditional Love

No matter what happens between MOM and DAD never fight argue or bcker in front of the children

Never let anyone in the house go to bed mad or angry

no matter what do not threaten or actually hit your children there are better ways than beating the daylights out of them

if you are ever unsure of what to do apply a heaping dose of love

And if you think these rules are soft or to kind i was a child who had the daylights beaten out of them, with thick wide leather belts with my fathers favorite piece of 2 X 4 ,i was drugged i was locked in the addict with nothing but a candy ba for weeks at a time, and Child protective took my custody away finally after the 9 time of him shooting me with his rifle and i have been in therapy for many years trying to get the flashbacks to go away i have a severe form of PTSD that is from what my father did to me. Versus what i learned from my adpsted mother who got me when i was 13-14ish.

Be Happy in your Nappy

[gah!ghost]

My parents might have known but if they did they never mentioned it to me. I guess I was lucky in that my parents stayed out of my stuff. When I lived at home I also kept my diapers in a corner behind this large tv cabinet that I was the only one who was both strong enough to move it and was skinny enough to get behind it without having to move it. So I guess even if they wanted to they couldn't snoop around.

[Billiardnut]

As hard as it may seem, I say bite the bullet and tell her that you want to wear the diapers. If you live somebody - they will find your stash regardless of how well you think it is hidden. Might as well be up front and open about it and get it over with.

[sarah_ab]

just because someone finds their stash doesn't mean they will say anything... my boyfriend and I have lived with his mormon parents for years.... we know his dad has seen my diapers and other baby stuff. Some household repair items are in our bedroom closet (extra doors and the like) and once or twice when we were away on vacation he needed to go into the closet to get them. That is where we keep all my ab stuff... so obviously he saw it.... but has never one mentioned it.. why would he.. we are adults, it was in our room....

so just because someone finds it, doesn't mean they are going to care, or say anything....

[Guest diaperj71]

Tough topic... But at the end of the day the house is not yours so there is no law that supports you having privacy. If you feel you might get caught in the future, you might want to either come clean or concoct a story about needing them for a bedwetting problem... Not that I condone lying but it can be beneficial in some circumstances. I don't think I could go the route of telling my mom about the diaper fetish but since I am still having bedwetting issues (some would would say I'm lucky but really it sucks having that problem), I told her a couple years back that I still deal with that problem. The only reason I did was because I was staying over at the house for a week and I felt better that she knew I would be diapered at night than take a chance of her somehow seeing me in a diaper or associated with one and have that even more uncomfortable moment. Once she knew, it was a relief that I didn't have to hide anything.

[sarah_ab]

i completely disagree that just because its your parents house means you have no privacy! You are an adult and deserve just as much privacy as they do. Just because it is their house does not mean they have free reign to just wander in and out of your room. If this is what yoiur mother is doing, than I would definitely have a chat with her, and explain to her you are an adult and while you appreciate her wanting to do your laundry, clean your room, etc.... but you would rather she ask you first before entering your space.... if she cannot respect this than i would either suggest a lock on your door, your own place, or just not wearing diapers while you live there.

[gah!ghost]

Yeah think of it like a guest. You wouldn't assume you could just go rifling through a guest's things because they happened to be in your house.

[BabyJune]

Put yourself in your mother's place and think how you would react if your child told you about liking to wear diapers. For anyone who doesn't enjoy wearing diapers or role-playing for recreation, they will not understand it, nor will they accept it. Remember, too, that once the "cat is out of the bag," you can't put it back in the bag. Give it a lot of thought before you do something you will regret--something that cannot be undone.

[BriGuy]

I've never understood the drive to tell parents that you like to soil your pants, or wank of in them. My parents don't need to know what goes on in my bedroom, just like I don't want to know what goes on in theirs.

Best to stay not getting caught, and if privacy becomes an issue speak to your mother about it. If she is unweilding with her desire to not respect your privacy move out, or cease engaging in the diaper thing till you have privacy.

[redneck diaper boy]

At 27, why are you living with your mom? Are you disabled?

[sarah_ab]

jesus christ seriously! with the amount of times this has been dfiscussed, its absolutely rediculous... Not all people who live with their parents are doing so because they are poor, they are 'losers' or there is something wrong with them.

seriously, in today's economy and increasingly in the past 10 years, it has become the norm for older adult children to live with their parents. In other cultures this IS the norm, for multiple generations to live together.... Also, myabe his MOTHER needed help with rent or bills, maybe his MOTHER is the one who is disabled....

people always assume there is something wrong with the child... but the parent could just as easily have asked the child to move in to help them.

I can think of 4 people/couples i know off the top of my head who live with their parents, and non of it has to do with them wanting to live for free, not being able to grow up, etc....etc..... and all of them have good jobs, college educations and have their shit together.

[BriGuy]

non

"None" :-p

Luv ya Sarah!

[diaprbayb]

Yeah think of it like a guest. You wouldn't assume you could just go rifling through a guest's things because they happened to be in your house.

wow, you just may have answered my question about why nobody ever visits me twice!

[Bettypooh]

Sarah is right on target here. My sister moved back in with my Mom because Mom was at a point mentally and physically where she needed someone there all the time due to her aging My sister was struggling to get by on her own but managing. Other than their not always getting along with each other, they both know this is what is best for them both with the way things are now In my sister doing this all of the family is better off now Mom and sister both have more money and fewer worries now that the living expenses of a home are being shared

I still believe that you should leave your parents home and build your own life as soon as you can. Most of the time this is the proper way to approach things. I still believe that whoever is in legal control of the property has the right to set the rules there, though they need to be openly known and clear Everyone's privacy should be respected when they become an adult, but if that doesn't happen then it is up to you- not your parents- to cause this to change by moving out Only when you take on the responsibilities of legal control of a property do you have any right to make decisions regarding what will be allowed there, for that is what gives the controller that right. If you are burdening your parents by lingering when you could be moved out then you need to fix that- their obligations to you end once you reach adulthood. You may find yourself in a situation like me later on in life where a parent needs your time to take care of them in their waning years- you owe them that for the time they gave of themselves raising you In between you should both have your own lives and your own separate places to live so that you can be free to do as you wish at all times. Nobody said it would be easy and it usually isn't, but it's the right thing to do for most of us And whether you like them or not, rules are to be followed. If you don't like them it is up to you to change that by leaving.

Bettypooh

[sarah_ab]

"None" :-p

Luv ya Sarah!

*giggles* i'm always amazed with the hundreds of typos i make (mostly due to either posting from my phone and suffering from fat finger syndrome, or because i'm just to lazy to care to fix my posts).. how few people will pick apart me grammar and spelling...

its like i'm inivislbe to the grammar nazis!!!!

but u can pick me apart all u want briguy!

[gah!ghost]

I mostly try to use appropriate–ish grammar just for the aesthetics. I like using the correct dash characters instead of the hyphen–minus (-) which is neither a hyphen or a minus but rather some amalgamation of the two. For example of this, the en dashes used in this post or an em dash in something like an open set, 1945—.