Why Do So Many People Dislike This Fetish?

[dl10956]

I know there's a multitude of reasons. With that being said, I've been together with two different women (one who hated it completely and another who would wear simply because she was really into me), both of whom were uninterested. Unfortunately, I don't think I'd be able to be in a serious relationship with a woman who wasn't into ABDL. Thoughts?

[Guest]

Well, at least the latter did it, and for all reasons, to make you happy! That says something positive. I would keep her.

[Amyuser]

The first thing to remember is that everyone "hates" whatever they do not understand, and unfortunately unless they keep an open mind they will never understand it , and when was the last time you met someone who didn't have preconceived notions that ABDL's where "Pedo's" or other disgusting things that 99.995% are not. Sorry for the bad news but thats why they seem to "hate"

[sarah_ab]

how about this... think of a food you don't like... a tv show you really can't stand.... a movie you just thought was awful... a book that was painful to read...

wait... what? you mean there are things yo don't like either? ok how about this.... what about sexual things you don't like? do you want to piss on someone or be pissed on? what about eating out a girl while she is on her period? having a dude take a dump on you?

wait.. what? there are sexual things you don't like? wow...... thats SOOOO unusual....

see what i'm getting at here? why is it really a shock to find out that people don't want to engage in anything abdl related? i mean seriously.... we enjoy, but other people don't... thats just like i really like 19 kids and counting, and my boyfriend really doesn't. Just like i don't really care for balsamic vinegar and olive oil to dip my bread in, i prefer just olive oil, but my boyfriend really likes that combination.

As for the not being in a relationship with someone who isn't abld, i do completely understand that. Sexual compatibility is crucial to a relationship, and if abdl activities are very important to you sexually, then finding a woman who is also into many of the same activities will be important. So, start looking for one, sign up for websites, go into chat rooms, reply to posts... get to know females as people, and then maybe a relationship can blossom.

[Missy Q]

"Humans fear what they do not understand"

[timmyc]

potty training is very firmly rooted into peoples psyche. I think 90% of ab/dl's acquired their desires at a young age. Many people have very strong feeling that accidents of any kind are the worst thing imaginable. In a solid relationship, I think there can be some successful conversions but it is a numbers game too. A majority of people that aren't predisposed to our interest are not going to see the appeal. I also think many ab/dls myself included can get selfish about it and want to play more than a partner might like. Relationships give and take, but always give more than you take.

[Leilin]

Why do people hate most members of Congress?

Why do people look down on people who've been on Jerry Springer and Judge Judy?

Why are Raider fans pretty much universally ridiculed as drooling morons with no self-control?

Why doesn't anybody like Duke?

Because, ultimately, the people who form the clearest impression of a community are the loudest people, whether or not that impression is accurate being completely immaterial. For us, those are the utter asshats who feel that it is their right to force their sexual fetish upon the unwilling, those who are unable to balance their proclivities and lead a normal life which isn't entirely centered around their chosen undergarments, and, alternatively, those who are gulliible enough to think that TV show iteration N + 1 will be somehow different from all of the previous ones and will somehow respectfully portray us.

Sadly, I'm not sure there's all that much that we can do about this.

[Backindiapers]

Just like i don't really care for balsamic vinegar and olive oil to dip my bread in, i prefer just olive oil, but my boyfriend really likes that combination.

I could not be in a serious relationship with a female who did not like dipping their bread in balsamic vinegar and olive oil!!

[waynecook52]

"Humans fear what they do not understand"

I have to say that of the replys so far yours is the best.

[Eir]

Hey guys, I have a question for you? Has anyone else had a crush on a babysitter when they were little? I had a horrible crush on Miss Lizz when I was eight, and my mother teased me at the dinner table infront of my sister and father! Timmy has a girlfriend! Timmy has a girlfriend! So, how how do you like Miss Lizz? My mother was using humor to enforce decorum, but to this day it is a turn on when women speak down to me, as if I were little. I think this has a lot to do with it. I think subconsciously I would mess with women to see if they would see me in a younger light. In the past I would get excited when female coworkers made comments about why they felt like they were babysitting me! YEAH!!! I think I am somewhat unusual in the sense that I like other things equally to this. I am attracted first and foremost to funloving people who do not allow themselves to be serious (all the time)! I also have a thing for slapstick, and wetlook, and have been known for marathoning water rides, and swimming in full clothes, and for walking in the rain! I think a lot of women enjoy treating men like children, but the diaper thing is just going a little too far. But in all honestly, if you could find someone who would gravitate towards the babysitter role in a relationship, wouldn't this be enough?

[happyindprs]

I echo what others have said here. There is a preconceived notion that you grow out of diapers but you don't return to them unless you are ill or injured. People have the idea that a diaper is nothing but cold and clammy and uncomfortable. If you like wearing diapers and it' snot for medical reasons, you're a perv. Look at it another way, it is not a social norm. Tattoos used to be found only on sailors, soldiers or bikers, now it's common place for people of all walks of life.

[Amyuser]

Hey guys, I have a question for you? Has anyone else had a crush on a babysitter when they were little? I had a horrible crush on Miss Lizz when I was eight, and my mother teased me at the dinner table infront of my sister and father! Timmy has a girlfriend! Timmy has a girlfriend! So, how how do you like Miss Lizz? My mother was using humor to enforce decorum, but to this day it is a turn on when women speak down to me, as if I were little. I think this has a lot to do with it. I think subconsciously I would mess with women to see if they would see me in a younger light. In the past I would get excited when female coworkers made comments about why they felt like they were babysitting me! YEAH!!! I think I am somewhat unusual in the sense that I like other things equally to this. I am attracted first and foremost to funloving people who do not allow themselves to be serious (all the time)! I also have a thing for slapstick, and wetlook, and have been known for marathoning water rides, and swimming in full clothes, and for walking in the rain! I think a lot of women enjoy treating men like children, but the diaper thing is just going a little too far. But in all honestly, if you could find someone who would gravitate towards the babysitter role in a relationship, wouldn't this be enough?

What kind of diaper do you wear when Marathoning Water rides????

[Yvhuce]

Take a look at the "Diapers in the news" section, or do an internet search for "Adult Diapers" with the family filter off. This is what most people see in reference to adults who choose to wear diapers. The general public is conditioned to see those who wear diapers by choice as being insane and/or pedophiles, or otherwise deranged.

Why do people hate most members of Congress?

Why do people look down on people who've been on Jerry Springer and Judge Judy?

Why are Raider fans pretty much universally ridiculed as drooling morons with no self-control?

Why doesn't anybody like Duke?

Because, ultimately, the people who form the clearest impression of a community are the loudest people, whether or not that impression is accurate being completely immaterial. For us, those are the utter asshats who feel that it is their right to force their sexual fetish upon the unwilling, those who are unable to balance their proclivities and lead a normal life which isn't entirely centered around their chosen undergarments, and, alternatively, those who are gulliible enough to think that TV show iteration N + 1 will be somehow different from all of the previous ones and will somehow respectfully portray us.

Sadly, I'm not sure there's all that much that we can do about this.

For congressmen, it's usually because they're elected officials who were supposed to represent the people and are instead trying to line their own pockets and screw over the people who elected them. Websters defines "politician" as "Someone who practices politics, usually for self-gain".

[rusty pins]

Step back and take an unbiased and objective look at the situation from someone else's standpoint. If you didn't know anything about this fetish and wern't an AB or DL yourself, wouldn't you be turned off and think it disgusting that adults would actually choose to put on diapers, wet and mess them purpously and sit around in their own waste just for fun? Then add the baby play to it and I can 100% see why people who don't have this fetish themselves can be turned off by it.

[Leilin]

For congressmen, it's usually because they're elected officials who were supposed to represent the people and are instead trying to line their own pockets and screw over the people who elected them. Websters defines "politician" as "Someone who practices politics, usually for self-gain".

Overwhelmingly, while Congress's approval rating as a whole is very low, with noted exceptions, each individual critter's approval rating in his own constituency is very high.

[Eir]

What kind of diaper do you wear when Marathoning Water rides????

I was not. I was wearing normal underwear (Men's nylon bikini briefs from Flexables). What I was saying is that I

enjoyed wetlook since I was in Junior High. This is somewhat new to me I wear because the mental block that

keeps me from wetting diapers is very similar to the block my paruresis imposes on me when I try to use a public

restroom. It was similar enough for me to take advantage of and has taken months off my near 12 month struggle.

I have had paruresis since I was eight. I practice voiding in diapers to teach my body that it is okay to relax enough

to urinate, and how to relax. I also practice systemic relaxation. I have never worn a diaper on a water ride, (or out

of the house for that matter, save for one occasion that you will see below.) I like to marathon water rides because

they are fun and I enjoy the tactile sensation of getting completely soaking wet, and walking around in wet clothes.

A few marathons, like Grizzley Rapids at DCA and perilous plunge (Knotts) have gotten me so soaked that my underwear

were also sloshing around with me!!!! And when I was at six flags in the summer, went on tidal wave. I chose to sat in the back

because they hold you when the tidal wave from the previous boat comes around goes over the back wall and soaks you down to

your underwear! (I love that feeling) And after that, I stood on the bridge with a few friends, and got even wetter, and downright

slap happy! Hiking trips are an excellent way to wind up swimming in your clothes without eyebrows being raised. Wetlook, either

getting soaked myself or watching others get soaked is just as fun or even more fun than ABDL. Some people have more than one

interest.

Until last year I did not know that it had a name, that I was one of the 7 million

Americans that have it, and that I could be cured! I am almost out. You can google this if you are interested and if you

have it yourself than you should definitely check it out. I have never worn outside the house (except a few nights ago when

I wanted a shake at 4 am and drove myself to McDonalds to buy one! Open 24 hours! I felt like a three year old driving in

Mommy's car!!! I was wearing a thick towel diaper under my jeans! And plastic pants made of trash bags securely fashioned,

That was quite a rush! The shake tasted like pumpkin pie and was very good!!! But I had more fun driving while diapered!

And of course I was soggy by the time I got home. No one caught me (although I am living in an appartment)!!! Except

for three deer, a doe and two little ones. They stared at me until I locked the car, then they took off!

[curiositykilledthecat]

Whyb do you assume most people hate this fetish? Most people as in the general populace don't know about this fetish. It's the same argument my roommate makes about being a multiple. there's a difference between the wrold not giving a crap and the world hating something. In regards to why people may not like this fetish is more or less the same as other fetishes as in:

1.) It's a deviation of what the individual believes to be socially normal

2.) They do not understand the concept behind *insert fetish*

3.) They just don't like it, it's not their forte.

4.) It may be personally triggering to them on a subconscious level. I.e. repressed memories of abuse, flashbacks to heavy periods and so forth.

The most important thing to remember here is that tolerance and acceptance are not the same and only one can be expected out of people. There is no reason to expect or demand every person you meet to embrace this fetish/lifestyle.

[Dirty Diaper/Maxipad Lover]

I like Duke.

Okay, seriously though, back on topic. I actually think that the OP is asking the wrong question here--the question isn't "Why do so many people dislike this fetish," but rather, "why do biological females dislike this fetish?" Just look around DD for a moment. The majority of AB/DLs are men. Now look at the members here who are female--a large portion of them are actually transgendered people who are biologically male, and the majority of biological females who post here are actually incontinent. There are several reason why biological females, especially straight biological females dislike this fetish, but key among them are the following.

1. Gender roles are defined very early on in life, especially traditional gender roles. Granted, this has slowly changed over the past few decades, but focus on traditional gender roles for just a moment. Boys are generally taught to be "rough and tough," and to be fearless of anything remotely unclean, such as dirty or mud. In contrast, girls are frequently taught to keep themselves as clean (and by extension "pretty") as possible. Early in life boys are traditionally taught that it's okay to get dirty, and girls are traditionally taught that it's unacceptable to get dirty. By definition diapers and their contents are associated with being "dirty," often at the same age that boys and girls are being given different messages about being dirty in a traditional setting.

2. Women menstruate. Let me put this another way, how many women do you know who enjoy their period, particularly if it's a heavy one? My guess is not many, if any at all. (And no, women who are just happy that they're not pregnant aren't factored into this equation, because what they're really enjoying is the fact that they're not pregnant, not the fact that they're menstruating.) Furthermore, if you were to survey women and ask them whether they used pads or tampons, (or something similar to tampons) and whether they enjoyed, tolerated, or disliked their period you'd likely get the following results. Women who strictly use tampons would usually tell you that they disliked their period, while a few might say that they tolerated it. Women who strictly use pads would tell you that they either tolerated their period, or enjoyed aspects of it, and occasionally, you might find someone who actually liked their period. Women who used both pads and tampons would largely fall into a group that tolerates their periods, but are largely indifferent to them. (Such as survey was actually done a few years ago.) In general, diapers remind women of pads, and if a particular woman uses tampons exclusively, she's likely to despise anything that reminds her of pads, which would remind her of her period. Women who use pads are likely to be more accepting of AB/DL play, but still less likely to openly embrace anything that reminds them of their periods. This is starting to change, but most women are taught as girls that "periods are icky/dirty," and as noted above, "being dirty is bad," and by extension, periods and anything associated with them are bad/dirty.

3. The few straight, biological females who might actually be willing to try this fetish are quickly driven away by the small group of relentless pervs who eye them like pieces of meat. Eventually these women begin to associate the AB/DL fetish not with something that they enjoy, but with the aforementioned pervs. Now when someone whose an ABL, but not a perv attempts to date these women, they have the deck stacked against them.

4. AB/DLs are terrible at public relations. This is tied to #3 above, but on a much broader scale. Instead of embracing media publicity, many AB/DLs continually make the same ignorant mistake of believing that "the media is inherently evil." As a result, the "representatives" of this fetish are largely a combination of pedos with AB/DL paraphernalia in their possession who've made the evening news, and a small but vocal group of AB/DLs who fail to represent the community at large. This could largely be solved by AB/DLs actually taking up the task of content creators and producing material that accurately represents the AB/DL community, but that won't happen so long as people believe that "the media is inherently evil." The real problem the lack of good publicity creates though is that it drives away people who might be curious about this fetish. A female whose not an AB/DL may remember reading something about the type of person mentioned above, and believe that her new boyfriend is like one of "those people." Likewise a female whose initially tolerant of her boyfriend being an AB/DL, may decide to do some research on her new boyfriend's fetish, simply because she wants to learn more about what her boyfriend enjoys. Upon a quick search, the woman in question quickly discovers the type of content that's mentioned above, and is now revolted by the idea of her boyfriend being an AB/DL, and may even begin to wonder if her boyfriend is a pedophile. I'm not saying this is right, or that this is how it should be, but until AB/DLs make themselves visible in a more positive light, this isn't going to change. You don't see AB/DLs doing charitable fundraisers or holding parades like members of other fetish "communities" do. That type of thing goes a long way in making a fetish look good. A documentary produced by a qualified AB/DL and sold to a major TV station wouldn't hurt either. (It would also help if AB/DLs were better at giving interviews, but that's another story.)

Of course, this doesn't account for people who don't know about this fetish, (you can't hate something that you don't know exists,) or for males who dislike this fetish, but males are another story entirely. For the most part, males are likely to be more open to this fetish as a result of the difference in traditional gender roles noted above, the fact that they don't menstruate, and the fact that they're generally not hounded by the pervs in the community. Sarah also raises a good point, which is that people's tastes differ. Of course, in a good relationship, partners frequently indulge each other in activities that they would normally never be involved with on their own, but that they know are important to their partners, and that often includes activities pertaining to fetishes.

I should end this by noting that although there are males who dislike the AB/DL fetish, they have far less of a reason to be vocal about it. A female with an AB/DL fetish should have no problem finding a male partner whose either willing to indulge her or who enjoys the fetish himself. It's different for males for the reasons mentioned above.

[Eir]

For many people being an ABDL is somehow related for comfort. For me it is practical, I have paruresis and have had it for FIFTEEN YEARS, since I was eight years old. Some people spend several thousands of dollars on therapy, and spend decades in isolation suffering this horrible affliction. I use towel diapers and "plastic pants" (trashbags) so I can teach my body how to relax enough to allow me to urinate. I will wear diapers for entire days and practice my visualizations, my breathing exercise, and my systemic relaxation. (A very simple meditation used for self help). I count backwards very slowly from 12 to 1. It takes roughly an hour. I relax each muscle group completely before going on to the next one. There is a key that I use to symbolize the sphincters opening. I relax by counting from 12 to 1. Lately, my diaper has been getting soaked after I reach 7 in the countdown. Then I continue counting down as my wet diaper becomes soggier and soggier! A three bath towel is enough to last me the entire day, I have spent entire days in these!!! Sometimes it gets so heavy that I use more packing tape to hold it up. Half the time all I have to do is close my eyes while counting down and an image of a urinal row appears in my mind!!! I started wearing so I could use the mental block that I have against wetting myself and work it into my visualization exercise. In many situations I can use a urinal just as well as my diapers!!!!!!!!!!!!! In all honesty, when I got the idea to meditate and practice my visualizations in diapers I thought it was crazy! I quickly realized that this would force me to be honest when I practice my visualizations. No more, yeah I can do this, of course! And then fail miserably in the real world. I have aleady been able to use a urinal infront of the janitor, once when a guy was washing his hands at the sink, and even once WHEN A BATHROOM WAS BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A guy was in the stall, and a classmate was in the other urinal, I had no choice, but I used it!!!!!!!! I have not been able to do that since I was in the third grade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Practicing my visualiation exercises in diapers is my final solution. You do not know how happy I am to find a community where I can be public about my final solution with others!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am almost out of diapers now, as I only have trouble in very situation. But you know what. If I fail and totally freeze up at the urinal. I do not see myself as a paruretic. This happened a few days ago. I did not judge myself for failing. I gave myself grace for not being out of diapers yet!! I went upstairs, and I used another urinal without any problems (no one was in there, but I did not know that). When I had trouble that day, I had been holding for a very long time, and was surprised i was able to make it. I was in fight or flight before I got into the restroom, and I just could not relax enough to use the urinal. I felt heat travel to a lower level, but still nothing. I just got too nervous, and I was self conscious about the fact that I did not pee. I did not see myself as a failure, but as a boy who still needs diapers. I have taken to wearing 24/7 when I do not have school or social engagements. You fight by denying the battle! Breaking the expectation that I must pee when I am at the urinal will certainly cure this. I am afraid that I will not perform, therefore my sphincter's tense up and I am not able to perform.

This came directly from the third circle of hell. In one dungeon there are paruretics in an impossibly large urnial display of urinals, stretched out in many great circles, they are forced to stand there, eon after eon with bursting bladders that they will never be able to release, and they are taunted for not being able to relese. They are forced to watch a giant television screen where they are forced to watch everyone who has ever made fun of them do so. One day there was an earthquake in the third circle of hell and the paruretics escaped. No one knows what caused the earthquake, altough some believe that the demon Blowgut was dared by Catwoman to light one of his farts on fire!! Apparently he used a bathroom that was part of the wall that contained the paruretics in the third circle. Blowgut should have tought twice when he remembered that last week he blew the door of the restroom, but he didn't. Afterall catwoman dared him to light a fart, and She is HOTT!! He lit a match, put it to his butt, cocked his head, put his webcam on the stall door and fully released. He thought he would be a hit on Helltube! Blowgut survived even though he completely carbonized the restroom into a smoldering crater, because he bathed in the river Styx, as all demons and those who were condemned did. This hell shattering explosion freed the paruretics! And they sought to become human again so they caused human women to become pregnant in order to get human bodies, and that is why we have paruretics. But because the third circle of hell is outside our space time, these paruretics entered human women accross all times, and regions and became human! What was the sin that they were punished for? No one knows. Some they they peed in the holy water, others say that they plotted to rip out baptismals in churches accross America, and replace them with spa tubs, so youth groups could have Hot Tub parties in church!! When I was in Junior High, my church had a baptismal at the back of the stage. And when we built the expansion, we thought it would be AWESOME to rip it out, and install a hot tub!! That didn't happen because we could never find the money, and it was thought to be a tincy wincy bit irreverant! In case you are wondering, I do not have any moral hangups about using diapers whatsoever!

[Eir]

I am willing to admit that my belief that paruretics were punished in the third circle is a complete farce! I am not a spirit baby! Nor have I ever been to the third circle, although I was a bratty boy who put his poor mother through hell!! If you think this is irreverant or in any way an inappropriate post please, please PLEASE keep in mind that I wrote it at 3:19 AM and that I intend for it to be humorous. Read this if you have any trouble dampening your diaper, you can thank me later, no need to bow down (just throw money at me!)

[Bettypooh]

Why do you assume most people hate this fetish? Most people as in the general populace don't know about this fetish....

Great post Curi! As always, you seem to find an unseen point- I like that education. Jewels are valuable because they are pretty, which is only in the eyes of the beholder and as such variable; and because they are rare- as are us ABDL's. To those who can see past the visual alone (or who actually enjoy our look) there can be tolerance- even acceptance. But people able to see that deeply are equally rare. Add to Curi's point about a general lack of knowledge and you see why acceptance is so rare- and so valuable when you find it!

1.) It's a deviation of what the individual believes to be socially normal

2.) They do not understand the concept behind *insert fetish*

3.) They just don't like it, it's not their forte.

4.) It may be personally triggering to them on a subconscious level. I.e. repressed memories of abuse, flashbacks to heavy periods and so forth.

The most important thing to remember here is that tolerance and acceptance are not the same and only one can be expected out of people. There is no reason to expect or demand every person you meet to embrace this fetish/lifestyle.

Here I differ- we should desire, and therefore expect, tolerance of the knowledge of, though not necessarily the practice of (insert any fetish here) itself. It's not going to happen unless we expect it- even if our expectations are not met. We must remember that what we expect we have to first give, so to have an expectation of tolerance we have to be tolerant too or it won't work. I tolerate certain types of people I am repulsed by, but I don't have to like anything or anyone- nor does anyone else. For me to ask them to tolerate me I give them that first, then live and let live. I think we'd all do better with that attitude but judging by posts here we aren't quite there overall. In fact there are some very intolerant people here- that is just the usual cross-section of our society today.

There's another angle here- sex. Western society and some others have made sex in general a taboo subject, so anything that goes with sex becomes another taboo. There's no reason to be ashamed of your vibrator, dildo, feather duster, whip, diapers, or whatever but we are because that has been pushed on us all our lives by almost everyone we've been in contact with. Anything except the concept of procreational sex isn't well tolerated in public settings, but as a whole we are beginning to learn.

I can't understand a lot of things that appeal to others. I live with that. Do the same.

Bettypooh

[curiositykilledthecat]

oh i agree that existence should be tolerated, however I don't expect or demand people to approve or understand. It's the differences between groups that makes the human race the beautiful and bizzarre creature it is.

[Nat]

I think the OP was asking why do so many people not accept this fetish. It's the most misunderstood fetish out there because people associate this with pedophilia. When people hear the word diaper, they think baby. Then when they hear about people pretending to be babies and being taken care of, they think pedophile and think if someone is being turned on by someone who is acting like a baby, they must be turned on by a child so they are having an adult act like one so they can get off it.

But most people find diapers disgusting and the usage of them because lot of people don't like to sit in their poop and pee so they don't understand why would someone want to sit in theirs. I don't understand why it grosses them out but watersports grosses me out, two girls and one cup grosses me out and scat play and people who suck pee out of their diapers or rub used diapers on themselves or wear someone else's used diaper or have someone pee in their diaper. I find that all sick. But I am not going to judge someone for doing it. I just don't want to see it. Some people don't want to see a diaper on someone or want to know someone is wearing one.

Anyone find it hypocritical I don't want to wear someone's used diaper or have their poop and pee in mine but yet I don't mind my own? I guess it's the same with menstrual pads, women don't mind sitting in their own blood but they wouldn't want to wear someone else's used pad or tampon but yet they don't mind their own bloody tampons inside them.

[diaperpt]

I agree with several posts - curi's is the most recent in this chain.

Why don't more of us realize how UNACCEPTABLE diaper use is to almost all of the general public? Once trained, you are NEVER supposed to need or use diapers anymore. Age is no excuse unless you're mentally feeble and bedridden. Wearing of diapers is a perfectly legitimate cause for great humor and ridicule.

I suspect even those who might know and 'accept' that we wear diapers probably talk behind our backs. Paranoid? maybe. or maybe I'm close to right.

Yes, some people can overcome the above stereotypes when they find someone they know MUST use diapers, but for most, I think, they can't shake the societal prejudice. Hey, I see my 'need' to wear diapers is perfectly fine, but there are few out there (beyond others of our persuasion) who would agree.

[DiaperPony]

Yep, it starts early. My kid is in kindergarten. A classmate taunted them by accusing them of wearing a diaper (they weren't of course). So even at a young age wearing a diaper is already ingrained as unacceptable (by potty training, probably).