Came Out Of The Closet, Accidentaly

[Guest Malecoda]

Mom found my diapers.

I had them in a rolling storage bin under the bed, the one I kept my sweaters in. I had them tucked under, in, and below the sweaters. It was impossible to open up a drawer and for it to be obvious. This was enough to last me a week, the rest of the case was locked up in a toolbox in the shed. I also had some baby toys, pacifiers, etc.

I guess I could understand a mother being protective over their teenaged daughter. When I was 17. But when I toed the line from minor to adult, this episode blows into the ridiculous.

I just moved back from my boyfriend's house and there's still no lock on my door. The door is back on the hinges but still no lock...

So my mother decides she was missing something, either her keys or perfume, and thinks I'd be stashing it like a little kid in my sweater box.

She picks me up from work and tells me, "You need to see a doctor. You need to see a priest. I saw the diaper chat lines and the "hot girls in diapers" sites, and I'm sure that if you keep this up, you will be a pedophile."

My mother threatened to call the sex offender registry, when we fought, but her only justification was "I don't want to give my family a bad name."

Oh you best believe I spoke to her about it. I hauled everything I had at her. Telling her I was not a pedophile, that I just enjoyed wearing diapers. She told me that she didn't raise me as an adult to have me "shitting in diapers" and it was disgusting, vulgar, and she lost all respect for me.

My mother told my father, brother, grandmother, people at work, my coach, bus driver, the milkman, whatever, that her daughter is "using diapers" to fufill "sick fantasies" and the like. People I have shook hands with. People I lived with.

She wasn't the only one who had an adverse reaction, but it's different to my face. People she worked with "picked their jaws up off the floor" and my aunt hung up on her. Now my family says "There's nothing wrong with that," when they bring it up in conversation. I know better. I'm no longer invited to family parties.

I know better.

I haven't slept and I really haven't eaten anything aside from junkfood in the past two days. I feel like I'm going crazy. What's wrong with me?

[Daddy R]

Sounds to me that you just need to get away from your family an start a diaper life where you don't need to hide everything from your mother. Also if you drop contact w/ her maybe she will see the light.

[aleyxsis]

No 1 Your mom had no business telling all of your family and friends ! .No 2 there is nothing wrong with you ! .Just look at this site ! many of us do this i have came very close to getting caught when i was younger and i think my mom might have known .But as she has said over the years there are things i do not need to know about you ! (thank god lol) .My point is just lay low hopefully your friends and family will either believe it or not !.From what i have read you might be suprised that some people are ok with it as long as they don't see it they don't believe it ! goodluck be cool and take care !

[diapered_jeff48801]

First I have to say I'm sorry you're going through this, it cannot be easy.

From what it sounds your mother has a clear lack of understanding of this lifestyle.

I hope things get better for you

-Jeff-

[lukeout]

Holy Canolie! that's terrible! I can't believe your mother acted so Disowningly, especially in this day and age... and the automatic Pedofile assumption? She has no clue, she judges harshly.

1 question, Did you say your relatives say there is nothing wrong with it or...?

I'm Sorry You're Going through this terrible ordeal, and My hope's are with you.

[J Y F]

From what I've read, you seem to be excessively enraged by this. In my opinion, the first thing that you have to do is take a calmer and more indifferent stance towards this and just get back to sleeping regularly and eating more healthily. You have to make sure you're not affected emotionally whatsoever by whatever other people say or act towards you. Never let others make you feel ashamed of yourself. It's not your problem if they can't accept who you are and you certainly do not have the responsibility to convince them otherwise.

One of the hardest (and some professional speakers actually call it impossible) things to do is to argue rationally with your family. In my opinion, it might help to bring in some third party outside of your immediate relations that supports you to help explain things to your mother, but of course this might take some time. Just put some distance between you and whoever's been involved. Make sure that you are as emotionally calm and unstressed as humanly possible and you'll make the right choices.

[babykeiff]

What I am going to say might shock, but please read before making a decision.

Organise a meeting with a psychiatrist for yourself, and BRING YOUR MOTHER. She is the one who needs mental help. It is not normal for a mother to expose her own child for anything the child does. The normal 'sane' reaction is to talk to a professional, which your mother, in her obviously pathetic life has nothing better to talk about to friends and family other than to expose her own flesh and blood.

[Diapers4Me]

Your mother needs help, not you! That said, she won't see it that way.

Sorry this has happened. If any of your family members is truely sympathetic, I'd get the heck out of your mom's house and move in with them. Then get a job and your own place.... If that isn't an option, then you will have to deal with your mom somehow...not sure how....last post is a good suggestion, but I doubt you have a phychiatrist available to help you out.

Good luck, and I hope things work out! We are here for ya!

[babyally]

Just to give you some context here, because the sheer disgust i feel at the lack of care and basic respect youve got from your mother astounds me.

I had a little bit of fun with an ex girlfriend one week when i had my parents place to myself, im in my own house and have been for a few years but i went back to watch the place and thier many animals whilst my parents took my sisters on holiday. I had to dash when they got back as i had a festival to go to and left a bag with a quite poorly hidden pack of Tena Maxi mediums with dummys, handcuffs, a bottle, condoms and lube, hardly a subtle collection of items. I got a phone call the day i left the fest and my mum asked me about it on the phone.

Now her reactions was along the lines of; "i had to put some washed clothes in your bag and saw what you had in there, did you want to talk about it? I tried to laugh it off, chatting some rubbish about it being for a bet. My mum simply responds that she "didnt expect to see them, it reminded her of "shoot Em Up" and that i was a lot more interesting than her and father." I was clearly embarassed and didnt want to talk about it so she didnt push it any further and despite seeing each other loads in the year thats passed she has never mentioned it.

Now i do think my mum is a bit special really, she's a very kind, liberally minded woman with only 20 years on me so we do have a very good relationship but i think this is what id call a sane and respectful reaction. Your experience seemed complete based on ignorance and i really feel for you being [ut in such a difficult situation. Just remember the old Dr Suess quote "those who mind dont matter and those who matter wont mind".

[froggy]

I am glad that I have a separate place to live. I never shared my diaper interest with the parents.

The pedo claim is more disturbing. I feel that those of us with an outlet for our intersts are less likely to actually involve real kids. I have difficulties in acceptance with the local BDSM community too. They express that age play is one step short of pedo. For a group that begs for acceptance of a different lifestyle, they are not open for others.

My advice, move out. Butt out of mom's affairs and tell her to butt out of yours.

[MLGTexas84]

Her reaction was a bit on the crazy side, but over my years I've learned that most people don't understand. It's just the way it is. However, I've also learned that none of them actually care.

I've been outed more times than I care to be and guess what?? It doesn't matter.

My sister found my diapers when I was 20 she told my mom who called my dad and her current husband at the time as well.

Latter I told most of my friends from high school (I felt I needed to "come-out" or something). Most didn't get it, but one of them is sexually deviant in his own right and he totally got it.

After I joined the Army, I was shot and my computer had diaper porn playing when the cops, paramedics and fire department showed up, as well as 2 guys from my unit. At the hospital I heard a bunch of them talking about it trying to figure it out. Few of them ever mentioned it to me. I did hear one funny story one of the girls was talking negatively about it and one of the most hardcore guys in my unit at the time said, "He's hard enough to get shot, he can do whatever he damn well pleases."

I've come to the conclusion that unless someone is a super bigot they won't really care what you do in your personal time.

[spoonchicken]

If your family is gonna turn their backs on you like this, I say return the favor. Turn your back to them and stop speaking with them. Move out. Your mom is a control freak bordering on pyschological imbalance....and it's none of her business at your age anyway. To hell with her, and them...and to tell everyone about it constitutes an invasion of privacy. I say speak with a lawyer regarding civil legal action aganist Mom. That might snap her back to reality.

[babymarie123]

Hello, I had a very similar situation - i was also 19 when it happened! When my parents and sister had discovered my lil needs - my dummys and what not. I was speaking to others on ds and dd all the time because i was depressed and they didn't like it. They didn't know how to help- so when things got out of control they took my laptop away and i had to spend a week with my grandparents becuase my younger sister didn't believe she 'could look after me' They thought that those guys were pedos and that i was one slightly at the beginging. They can't stand my boyfriend because he's abdl - daddy for me. They hate the fact were together. I've had loads of relationship troubles with them and they still don't trust me even after three years.

I still have trouble with them thinking about the nappies being wrong and sick and what ever the other words were.

Its not easy i know but if you stand your ground it'll be better than noting at all. I'm sorry to hear that your mum told your family and friends that was out of order. my family have been quite good and not told many but still there have been threats. I hope you can sort it out and get your mum to think right.

marie

[Diapered Jason]

I think you and the author of this song have some things in common at least when it comes to your relationship with your mother. Whether or not you like the band, I think you will like the song and it may help you feel better.

[Guest]

I'm coming upon this way late, but wow!

First of all, I wanted to respond because I felt compelled to extend to you some additional moral support! *gives a hug through the monitor.... somehow*

Secondly, what happened to you is what I fear the most with my own family. I'm lucky in that when I felt the need to come out to my mom, she didn't react like your mom did, but I think she only did it because she put love first. She's conservative, she thinks it's very weird, she would prefer that I shun it and not indulge in it at all, and for the last two years, that's what she thinks I have done, so I'm essentially back "in the closet" again.

But if I had told anyone else in the family, I think it would have been closer to the reaction you got above. Maybe not with the anger, but very likely I would have gotten a sub-zero shoulder from everybody, likely for at least a long, long time. Too conservative, and this is too weird. It's not like saying I want to do some minor bondage with a girl, this is wearing diapers and that opens the door to a whole other level of strangeness if you're not used to it already.

So to bring this back to the beginning, I just wanted to say I'm thinking about you, I wish you well, and I don't want to get too far into giving advice because I simply don't know enough (in general or about your situation) to do so, but my instinct would be to get some distance for now, let things breathe, and when you've had time to calm down, feel as close to normal as possible, and hopefully, eventually, start to feel the desire to "make things right", start thinking about what you might be able to do to mend fences. I'm not saying I know it can be done, but I know that if it were me, I'd want to try.

[wugga]

The only way to triumph in this matter is to keep being right. Once you're done doing that, you'll have proven them wrong.

[Baby Brian]

The only way to triumph in this matter is to keep being right. Once you're done doing that, you'll have proven them wrong.

I did that with my own mom. She was pretty thick headed about it so it took nearly 20 years for her to figure out I was right. Turns out liking diapers is not a "phase", won't make me bad, sick, or any of that crap. Well, it may make me crap.

[Mama Melody]

....this truly makes me want to punch people in the face. Please excuse me for being so blunt and angry, but it's simply not fair.

I cannot offer much advice, just my condolences and this:

It is not fair what is happening to you. Nothing is wrong with you. Your mother should not have treated you that way and I hope later in her life she has trouble sleeping at night thinking what she put you through. Good luck. I know the road ahead cannot be easy for you, but don't met them pull you down. You deserve respect and love, just like everyone here.

[DaddyHatiwolf]

Whats wrong with you is ... that you were honest? What your mom did was well beyond the rationality of a normal person. Once upon a time it was a crime to be gay ... now its a crime to the world to wear diapers? One step at a time and we will make this world a more open happy place to live where it wont be a federal offence to be happy. In the meantime ... get some sleep. The milk is spilled. Your mom will have to one day come to her senses and apologize for the terrible way in which she acted toward a family member.

[Fulldiaper]

First I'm sorry to hear this. I went through this with my former pastor, ex-wife and friends and family too. My ex got mad at me one day and called our pastor and I was going to a Fundamental Baptist Church that preaches fire and brimstone hellfire type stuff if you don't stick to the straight and narrow. I was hauled up to the OCD counselor and shrink and told the similar things that you were about pedophilia and sexuality issues.

But I tried and did stick to my guns and finally my pastor threw his hands up and said, "I'm done!" I said, "me too." and I left the church and divorced my ex. Parents like that are mentally abusive and you need to get the hell out of that environment and personally I love my mother, but if she did that to me, she could consider me no son of hers and I would just tell people I don't have a mother or she passed away.

When I moved out of my mothers house, I did so because she always said, "when you live under my roof, you abide by MY RULES!" So at 17 I enlisted in the US Army after being told to get a job or move out. I did both. Now my mother has really passed away and there are many times I wish I had told her, but I know that I probably would be scared for life since my mother reminds me of the woman you call your mother. Everytime I did something wrong, she was quick to point it out, but if I did something right, well that was to be expected. Negative reinforcement isn't good for a child to hear from a parent and it's taking me years and years to realize it's NOT ME. I'm OK with who I am and who I've become. The diapers aren't me, they're just a part, just like my humor, attitude and physical appearance. They don't completely define me, but they are as a much of me as my skin, genitalia, hair color and eye color.

When I was younger I went through binge and purge events in my life and to this day, I regret losing all my magazines, clothing, and everything. I won't binge and purge ever again!!!

I know it all seems hopeless, but everything passes in time. I remember Robin WIlliams in Dead Poet's Society and his quote, "look at their eyes, their desire and dreams they have...where are they now?" DEAD!! or something to that extent. I knowk right now it's really touch to absorb, but in time you will see who your real family and friends are from this event and time in your life!

...just my .02 cents

[lilJester]

ya know, i love how everyone AUTOMATICALLY says "you need to seek help before you become a pedophile" ....please promptly SLAP the taste out of your mothers mouth and say Jester (me) said to....

My mom found my stash when i was in highschool and started freaking out over the whole thing much like yours, but since i was only 17 when she found them she didn't threaten with sex offender hotline just threatened to toss me in the looney bin. I told her flat out "FINE. Better than being stuck with you and hey YOU want to wash sheets day in day out, then HAVE AT IT!" because i was not jsut wearing them becasue well yeah i liked them, not just because they comforted me but because of the fact i was WETTING THE BED. so she kinda dropped it.

whats wrong? Stress. its a wonderful thing is it not?

[sweetandsensitiveguy]

eventually if you just leave it be and make sure she doesnt find diapers and stuff again she will claim down and pretend everything is ok

I remember when my parents found out it wasnt my doing

i told the shrink i was forced to see for my behavior problems i told him i havent told them and wanted to keep it secret he said sure. Later that day he called my mom and told her.

She tried to have a talk to me about how it wasnt right for me to wear diapers unless i was a baby or needed them.

She tried to use some stupid reason she said what if she wanted to suck on a pacifier how would i feel i told her ok if thats what she wanted. She was like what if i did it in front of your friends and i told her well thats different its not like i wear diapers when family and friends are over its a private thing.

She still try to debate it but dropped it cause i'm hardheaded in her eyes.

My dad was not happy or understanding at all.

In fact one day he caught me when i was in bed with baby diapers on back when i could fit into them.

After that he threated to kick me out when i was in middle school if he caught me wearing again had to do deep hiding of them basically they know i still like it but as long as they dont see me do it or talk about it our lives went on like it didnt happen.

Just do like i did and find friends who are understanding

[RC-db-UK]

it sounds like your mother is still of the opinion that it's her house and her rules so she has every right to search ur room for anything at any time she likes and then use anything she finds to embarrassing to course

you problems and become more reliant oh her well i say turn the tables if u can try and find out things about her that she wouldnt want anyone outside of the family to know and also find something out that the family dont know and tell them parents seem to think having a fetish as it's manily seen i'm guessing she grew up in the 60's so theres bound to be something u can find out if u can ask your grandparents may be wirth taking a bottle of wine with u to help losen things and for ur own private stuff buy a old stemer trunk and put external pad locks on it leave it eamty or put the stuff u find out about her in it i think 4 padlocks should make her want to know whats in there put 1 on each side and 2 on the front and if you can get them inside put a line of bricks in it so it's really heavey and hard to move the curiosity should drive her crazy

[happyindprs]

The Op stated that her mother did not want to give her family a bad name and the proceeded to do exactly that by outing her. Sometimes the ones that make the biggest stink about something have the most to hide. Perhaps your actions brought back memories of her childhood. May someone in her family played outside the lines or maybe she herself did something along those lines as well. At any rate, your mother has issues of intolerance that are far worse than you wearing a diaper.

[tcc]

Actually, the more those of us with a diaper "lifestyle" of any kind react to people "outraged" by their discovery of OUR "thing", the worse it can be. Actually, it's OUR choice to pursue fulfillment of AB or DL urges. As I always say, for cripe's sake, IT'S ONLY DIAPERS. And, if it's a choice - AB or DL - it's still ONLY DIAPERS. They are legal legitimate product produced for a specific need, even if it IS by CHOICE!

If someone discovers us and our "thing", unlike your mother, what are they going to say? And, exactly WHO has to know and for WHAT reason? WHY is it so important to so many that our deep dark secret be revealed? Does it make US feel better to have our sick depraved secret out in the open? Here's a situation where the revelation IS out, regardless of how it happened, and look how it was taken? OMG! Talk about off the wall and over the edge reaction! Are you kidding me? And, as an adult, you let your mother buffalo you? Geez, what if she had found you wear men's boxer shorts or crotchless women's panties? That would be okay? I'm not so sure with the reaction she gave over DIAPERS.

Yeah, it's HER house. It's YOUR thing. You can let her dominate you and make you miserable, or you can decide to do you own thing, and ignore her. And, when she tries to humilate you, ignore THAT and laugh it off. How WE react to other's reactions to US and what WE do contributes to HOW they react to us. With the cat out of the bag, we can't change what people think of us or about us, so what does it matter. Your affectation with diapers isn't affecting your ability to live life within society or earn a living. So, you wear diapers, by choice. What difference does it make and what difference SHOULD it make - especially to other people? You're not forcing diapers onto THEM, and YOU are the one wearing them. They should be happy you aren't forcing them all to be diapered and being made fun of! Gee, maybe you should! LOL

Your mother overreacted, and may be in real need of medication. Hang in there. Just try and figure out how to fulfill and satisfy your needs and urges and do it behind her back or without her knowing. Don't give her a reason to be snoopy, and if she does snoop, ignore it. I'm sure you're looking to be out on your own when you can be. THEN, let her wonder all about your diaper life, especially when she sees you happy, moreso than with her downer presence around you. Good luck. Diapers rock, and can be incorporated into virtually any lifestyle, and there ARE potential partners out there that not only can accept an AB or DL in their life, but can embrace it, encourage it and maybe even participate in it. And, a lot of it depends upon your presentation of it in the beginning!