Confident Working Professional?

[pampers212]

My question is this: Is there anyone here who is in a high profile career that requires a lot of confidence when meeting clients, prospects, business associates and other professionals? (I'm sure there is.) I am basically wondering if anyone has a tendancy to feel like less of professinal because they have this secret AB/DL lifestyle going on.

I spoke with a therapist once about the AB/DL lifestyle, and she was worried that I would feel incompitant in the business world if I continued the lifestyle. I can't say that I really worried about that before she said anything, but now I do and I'm trying to figure out if she just put this in my head, or if it was already there and she just pointed it out. I am a self employed building desinger. I meet prospect clients and other business people (contractors, developers, ect) all of the time. I can't afford to have something in my life that is draining away my confidence, but I would like to know what others might do about this.

So, tell me about yourself, what your career is, and what you do to separate in your mind your career profile from your recreational indulgences.

[gbw_dl]

im an automotive technician, working to be a paramedic, but i usually dont really think about diapers when im out and about, usually just when im at home and i have plenty of free think time.

[BBB]

Yes, I've meet with high profile people within the aerospace community while working through various programs. From high ranking military, to CEO's/Presidents of major Corporations that are listening to information that I'm presenting, or explaining technical aspects of a process to.

Never once cared about what goes on in the bedroom while I'm in the work place.

Just doesn't factor into my perspective. If I know the data required, then I'm absolutely confident... No reason not to.

[babykeiff]

I am self employed, and constantly meet highly influential people in business. What I mean by highly influential is, that if they sense any sort of weakness within me or my company, I would not be in business very long. At times it gives me a chill to know what I wear as underwear, and at other time, it is a source of strength.

I have constantly stated here, don't let your choice of underwear / form of self relaxation effect your life.

[tcc]

You have begun a thread that has a million ways to go with it. I'm sure, over time, most of the avenues will be travelled.

I would say this. I am a DL. I own my own business. I deal with the public on a daily basis. I go through cycles where I choose to be diapered(my "little secret" perhaps?) nearly 24/7. I am married. My wife accepts, encourages and participates, to a degree, in my DL side/life/world.

A true incon, has little choice but to wear diapers in daily life to control a medical situation, so the diaper issue is kind of a moot point.

An AB, while enjoying the vestiges of infancy, if to reprise it to relive it and "start over" or "do it right this time", or being "stuck" in that period of life, must not only set up some sort of "scene" or set aside a block of time to indulge and satisfy needs, but ALSO life an adult life, meaning being productive in society, which means having a job and creating an income to have an independent adult life.

The DL can quite successfully AND discreetly indulge diaper desires at virtually any time and any place with no one else knowing.

So, it boils down to this. What are you into? How do you feel you NEED it to incorporate into YOUR "normal"(everyday) life? WHO do you feel NEEDS to know what you're into?(Would you go around proclaiming you're into BDSM? Spanking? Enemas?) How discreet ARE you with your "little secret" such that you are virtually SURE you will never KNOWINGLY allow yourself to be "accidentally discovered" indulging yourself or do you always operate "on the edge" such that you MIGHT have someone walk in on you, damn what might be said or thought of you? And, what WOULD another person SAY(it doesn't MATTER what they THINK; that's THEIR problem), and in some cases, say to someone ELSE, upon discovering your "little secret", be it that you wear diapers for need, by choice, or because your a fetishist that indulges in fetish "scenes" on a regular basis? It's DIAPERS, for cripe's sake! Adult diapers are a legitimate product to meet a legitimate need and there is a huge market. They are neither illegal, immoral NOR fattening!

I wear my diapers often, and use them - I save messing for private time at home, which I enjoy immensely - and no one ever knows. I am discreet, I'm not obvious and bulgy, and give no indication what I'm wearing under my work clothes OR recreational clothes. My choice of wearing diapers is MY thing. It give ME pleasure and hurts and impacts NO ONE else. I force my DL side/life/world on NO ONE.

So, what more do you need to know? Wear your diapers. Do it discreetly, don't make any kind of a deal about it and enjoy yourself. No one else will know and if they DO find out - and HOW are they GOING TO? - what will they care? It's YOU wearing the diapers!

[paradox]

I would say my job is I guess stressful. I ran a dive club of national competitors for a few years, currently I am a paramedic in one of the highest call volume counties, And If I I am l lucky I start med school in the fall. Well snow balls chance in hell but hey I will take my chances. Never once did I think my fetish or what I did at home would interfere with me playing god at work. Playing god is to much fun!

[sarah_ab]

I work for social security. Its a pretty professional job i have, but i don't see what my sex life has to do with my job.

So what if i like to be a sub in the bedroom, doesn't mean that is my whole personality, my whole self, its just one aspect of me... just like i am a giant goofball and love to crack jokes, but when i'm on the phone with a claimant, i'm not going to crack the same insensitive jokes i would with my friends.... again, its just one aspect of my personality.

[FretaBWet]

Therapists are no different than any other profession. There are members who excel at their chosen career and those who are not even competent. You had the bad luck to stumble onto the latter. It's very easy for the student to know the right answer and earn a degree. The difficult part is applying the correct answer in the course of your job. Therapists and Psychiatrists are trained to not allow their own feelings to enter into the therapy. Your therapist doesn't seem capable of separating her "work" self from her "private" self.

I was a Manager for a very big company and when I got laid off I was very blue but I never lacked confidence. I was good in my job. I got above average reviews. I had the respect of my peers. That's the evidence you need to pay attention to not the worry of an incompetent in their profession. Look at your career and achievements and let that be your guide. You were confident before so I'm guessing you have plenty to be proud of and to be confident about.

Good Luck,

Freta

[pampers212]

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I am really starting to think this is a case of a therapist letting their own personal bias into their work. It helps to know that there are others in the ABDL community who are living confident professional lives. I have to admit that I let her words get to me a bit, and I've noticed over the last few months that I've been doubting myself in light of what she said. Time for a new therapist, perhaps.

tcc,

I am a DL, with slight ABish tendancies. I wear mostly at night, but not every night. It does help me sleep more peacefully, and I do find I wake up more rested and better prepared for the day. Sometimes I wear early in the evening to destress and relax. I rarely leave the house while wearing, and if I do it is only to run errands. I won't go to work, church, or social events while wearing. The problem with that is there are times where I just don't want to take off the diaper, so I end up not doing things outside the home that are important to me and keep me energized (sports, social events, ect.) I've got to balance this part a little better. I can always diaper up when I get back home.

[Bettypooh]

I turn the tables around I am more confident of myself because I'm diapered It's those who can't get over what someone else does that are weak Now seen from the proper perspective,. this shows not only my confidence but also my intelligence and depth I'd be embarrassed as heck if it got out, but I'd face it head-on and win based on that approach

I happen to be very good at what I do with few equals and fewer betters- I only wish I got paid like I used to Maybe someday the building industry will rebound

Bettypooh

[tcc]

tcc,

I am a DL, with slight ABish tendancies. I wear mostly at night, but not every night. It does help me sleep more peacefully, and I do find I wake up more rested and better prepared for the day. Sometimes I wear early in the evening to destress and relax. I rarely leave the house while wearing, and if I do it is only to run errands. I won't go to work, church, or social events while wearing. The problem with that is there are times where I just don't want to take off the diaper, so I end up not doing things outside the home that are important to me and keep me energized (sports, social events, ect.) I've got to balance this part a little better. I can always diaper up when I get back home.

Balance comes with acceptance. Accepting oneself the way one is is the biggest impediment to happiness people seek in the DL/AB community. Most constantly chide and browbeat themselves because they, themselves, don't accept their leanings and fetishism, and, like society, feel THIS desire/urge - diapers - is ABnormal, sick, and maybe wrong.

Yes, you can always "diaper up" once you are back home. However, just like I can't wear diapers into the pool at the YMCA when I swim, and don't NEED a "swim diaper", because I'm not incontinent, I CAN get out of my discreetly worn and now wet diapers in a handicapper stall before I swim and get "diapered up" back in that stall before I head home. Duffle bags can contain more than just "street clothes" and shaving gear! And, other activities outside the home may not be the easiest to deal with while diapered, but, what if you WERE a true incon? You'd be in diapers doing EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE, and simply do it. I got over any anxiety about wanting or needing to be diapered, and not being able to get home to get comfy.

When I have filled my pants - and I do more than just wet - I HAVE to get cleaned up before I head out - not that I WANT to, but it IS reality, even though I truly enjoy messy diapers as a part of my DL side. Otherwise, I seldom let being diapered or wanting to be stop me from going anywhere UNLESS knowing I'm going to need a diaper change - which means, at times, I may refrain from freely wetting, and wear, but use a stall to pee - and it won't be convenient or very easy to do, I may not want to use my diapers while out. If I know I'm going to need to have a BM, I use extra care and caution OR I will adjust the diapers I select, the types of soakers I might add and the type of plastic pants I use - i.e., snap-ons versus pull-ons - for the "package" I choose for that day or period of time.

Trust me, unless you WANT someone else to know what you're wearing, unless you WANT to be obvious and less than discreet, diapers are merely absorbent UNDERWEAR, and totally legit, and what you do besides wear them - use them, make them part of further "kink" or incorporate them into a "scene", or they have sexual overtones and connotations "behind closed doors" or "between consenting adults" - is up to YOU. Nobody else needs to know unless YOU tell them or like so many young ABs, are so "revved up" they allow themselves to be "discovered" and "outed" by being idiots, and then whine about it. That is so not necessary.

Confident? Yes. Proud? Yes. An avowed DL? Yes. Diapers, discreetly worn/used on a daily basis? Definitely.

As my wife says - and she knew about my DL side/life/world BEFORE we made a long-term committment, and accepted it, or we would not now BE in our third year of marriage - my DL side/life/world is simply a part of ME. So, I deal with it. I embrace it. I incorporate it. And, it's never had any negative repurcussions at any point in my life. And, it shouldn't for anyone else, even if they are not yet independent and living on their own. It's all in how you choose to handle the situation, and deal with it yourself, in your own mind...

[LILJIM]

Thinking on this abit: 1)she might have thought "You didn't feel as mature or as grown-up as others". maybe the reason you wore. 2)she might have planted your self doult for you to visit more to deal with it. 3) I run a side job sometimes on my days away from the mill. I am AB/DL depends on my mood & need. Indulging is mainly for stress releif mainly at home. But at times I wear while dealing with my side job. As tcc said dress according and no-one will notice. I know my business and I present myself with "confidence" that I will do my best for them. I've had no bad things come from it. Before I get hit with I shouldn't wear out -My jobs sometimes take me where there are no bathroom around but still in public eye; so I handle those times with diapers or a long ride to find one. Just relax & use your destress sleep-aid as I do.

[curiositykilledthecat]

What you do outside of work is irrelevant, unless an illegal activity.

[Toddler Pampers]

So, tell me about yourself, what your career is, and what you do to separate in your mind your career profile from your recreational indulgences.

I got the very same feeling when I passed the Bar Exam. I just didn't think wearing diapers 'for fun' was anything a lawyer should be doing. So I stopped, which is what you should do if you are bothered. Now, perhaps you will become bothered that you are denying yourself a harmless little pleasure, at which point you will return to wearing diapers, which is what I did.

Life brings changes (no pun intended), many of which cause us to rethink what we've been doing. So give change a try, and see what happens. You may like how you feel, and you may give up diapers forever at this point. Or, you may decide you miss diapers and decide to see if you can have your cake and eat it, too.

I have become very good at compartmentalizing, and perhaps you will, too. Compartmentalization allows you to still be a 'good person'. You don't let a kink define you above all else. Make it something you're not ashamed of, because it's just a small part of your otherwise completely normal, thriving life.

[LuvsGurl]

What you do outside of work is irrelevant, unless an illegal activity.

If only this were true. People with high-profile jobs serving the public (teachers, lawyers, police/fire/emt, doctors, etc.) can be judged quite harshly should any "deviant" habits or practices become known.

[Bettypooh]

What you do outside of work is irrelevant, unless an illegal activity.

Or if you happen to live in ma "right to work" state where they can fire you for any reason or no reason at all and unless you can clearly prove that you were fired for something protected by Federal law, you're screwed Some companies have a 'laundry list' of prohibited activities in their employee manual that are all legal If you want to work there you have to agree to that when you sign on Welcome to Amerika Curi, now you'll do as we say or else !!!!

Bettypooh

[Letluvsrool]

Far from it, I'd be willing to hazard a guess that the people in those ultra-high stress occupations like business execs and politicians are far MORE likely to have some wacky fetish. If some big powerful CEO spends all his working life in charge of everything barking orders at all his subordinates all day long, you can bet when he punches out (just an expression, those types don't bother with something as blue collar as a timeclock) he's like to head home or to the Dom parlor for a little S&M, humiliation, diaper play, or whatever he wants to help him unwind.

The people in this world who try the hardest to project an image of normalcy in their public lives are the most likely to be into the really kinky stuff. The guy who mops up the peep show booths in the seedy part of town probably goes home to watch videos of married couples having sex in the missionary position while telling each other how much they "complete" me.

[diaperpt]

I won't bother going back to what my career is, but I have a feeling that I would no longer have it if at least my portion of the general public were to know I wear for pleasure. In a rather small and local way, I am in a fairly high visibility career. I don't feel it limits me in any way other than having to be careful about not being found out. I have, unfortunately, come close on some occasions.

On the other hand, I've found diapers very helpful when I'm speaking with someone who has sought me out to talk. I can sit with that person, wet my diaper and not have to excuse myself to go to the restroom and interrupt the whole train of the conversation. I'm not incon but while not major, I do have issues with having to go to the bathroom more often than is convenient.

I've been seeing a psychiatrist who has said perhaps I'll never overcome my feeling of need for diapers. And yes, I've given a little thought to the idea that maybe his opinion is biased as much as one who says a successful person cannot get by using diapers. Did I just find someone whose opinion I like? (I am being helped significantly in other areas of my life, so I'm not really worried about the diaper thing for now, at least.)

[curiositykilledthecat]

If only this were true. People with high-profile jobs serving the public (teachers, lawyers, police/fire/emt, doctors, etc.) can be judged quite harshly should any "deviant" habits or practices become known.

It's all about commonsense. If you have a high profile career you don't go to dungeons or do things that will cause public exposure. It's the same reason the preacher might enjoy a glass of wine or a Sam Adams at home but not at a bar.

[sarah_ab]

course you could always think of it this way.... the fact that you know what you enjoy, recognize it is something you enjoy that is safe sane and consensual (if a partner is involved) and then being self accepting enough to engage it in w/out feelings of guilt or misgivings, makes you better adjusted and a more confident person than the one who hides their true feelings or desires.. or spends their life in agony unable to accept who they are.....

[pampers212]

I'm not incon but while not major, I do have issues with having to go to the bathroom more often than is convenient.

You know, I can be like that too. I'm supposed to drink 8 cups of water a day, but when I do, I am constantly running to the washroom. My dad is the same way, only he drinks a lot of coffee and is on medication for PTSD. I would like to drink more water regularly, and I think I would feel better if I did. Hmm . . .

[sarah_ab]

i go to the bathroom like once an hour at work..... i drink one cup of tea, one 12 oz diet coke at lunch and about 10 cups of water while at work.....

[attends_99]

I find that I feel more secure and more confident while wearing diapers.

[tcc]

course you could always think of it this way.... the fact that you know what you enjoy, recognize it is something you enjoy that is safe sane and consensual (if a partner is involved) and then being self accepting enough to engage it in w/out feelings of guilt or misgivings, makes you better adjusted and a more confident person than the one who hides their true feelings or desires.. or spends their life in agony unable to accept who they are.....

I don't think it could be said much better. Kinda covers a wide spectrum here! Thanks, Sarah. You are very wise and have, like I have, to a very comfortable place in your life.