I Saw You

[tris]

You're middle aged; pretty hefty and looking like Fatguy-in-a-little-coat. Your chimo glasses are huge and you're balding. Mommy and I are walking behind you at the Tree Lighting Festival, it's about quarter to four. The plaza is crowded. There are more children than adults milling about, and people are pretty much shoulder-to-shoulder, wandering through the displays. I watch as you meander your way through the crowd. I asked Mommy: "Do you see what I see?" I point at the fat patch of pale skin exposed between your too-short jacket and waist 48 khakis.

I see a ratty pair of underwear. It's got a blue and yellow stripe, some cheapo brand. What is it covering? A just as cheap Depend or store-brand pullup, pulled up above the underwear WAY too high. Clearly you did this with the intent that others might see, though you made it look like an accident. There's no way you can't notice this, it's freezing cold outside, and it's trying to snow.

I walked around and got just enough of a profile view to see that you weren't a retard; otherwise, I might have let this slide and placed blame on your companion/caregiver for neglecting your appearance, shaming you in public. You're alone, and I can see why.

But no, you clearly wanted to be noticed. Well Bucko, you got your wish: I noticed you, and so did parents as you walked past their children, sledding down the hill. Was it worth it? Did you get the rush you needed?

After you're done blowing your load by reliving your afternoon antics, (embellished enough to fulfill your fantasy) I want you to imagine what society would be like if ABDL was as accepted as LGBT. How wonderful the world could be if diapered adults weren't viewed with pity or disgust.

Now I want you to contemplate what individuals like yourself are doing for our community's image: Fat, balding, ugly, middle-aged man cruising through a crowd of parents and children while his XL pullup is intentionally exposed for all to see. Your ass was a billboard that day, and your marketing department definitely didn't do their research before going to press.

I hope that you're a lurker here, and you can read this to know that what you did was inappropriate. If you want acceptance and tolerance of our lifestyle, do the revolution a favor and cover your fat ass up.

Sincerely,

Tris

[/rant] #Beginflamewar

[DailyDi]

Your ass was a billboard that day, and your marketing department definitely didn't do their research before going to press.

[curiositykilledthecat]

win

[Guest baby-jessy]

*claps* bravo. i will +rep this cause your right, its stuff like that, that gives us the rap we have. i hope others take this as a example *glares into crowed*

[Codymoogle]

...

*standing ovation*

~ moogle

[aj15s]

Right on!

[TheMagicDragon]

Please pin this to the wall, DailyDi!

[BriGuy]

Tris FTW

[FretaBWet]

For what it's worth I thought your piece was really well written. I'm in complete agreement too.

Hugs,

Freta

[sarah_ab]

ohhhh i've always wanted to see the lights at leavenworth.... wait are we talking washington state? or like hte prison??

nice post.. very funny. but true

[tris]

Hm. Not where I saw this going. I fully expected a flamewar to erupt, but I felt it necessary to point this out, depsite the possible consequences. Thanks, gang!

What sucks is that my first version was alot better, and while I was reviewing and editing, I hit 'backspace' a bunch of times, trying to re-write a quip, and the text box didn't have the focus. Firefox backed up a few pages and I lost my reply. I almost took it as an omen that I shouldn't go through with it, but you can clearly see what I decided.

It's unfortunate that some individuals must be further oppressed when they're in an already painful situation. For as long as humans have existed, there have been those who did not excel in the social arena; for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which would be visual appeal, or lack thereof. In no way does this mean that those people are no longer worthwhile, but sadly, there are some things that some folks just can't do based upon their social and/or visual status. And I wholeheartedly subscribe to the theory that people can change, at any time, for any reason. After all, we were designed this way; if it's one thing humans do collectively well, it's adapt to survive.

However, it is still survival of the fittest, sadly, and that means that there will be some casualties. But since our battle is Time, the playing field is equalized by our ability to recognize patterns in our own behavior, and adapt accordingly. To my younger members: This means you.

Each generation serves as an example to its immediate, and future successors since people have been gathering and communicating. Specifically with our community, those who are taking the leap to find out more about this aspect of themselves, and begin their own personal journey of acceptance, are the future of our collective acceptance into what we know as modern American society.

Your ability to get to know yourself, and integrate yourself into your environment, as well as find healthy, productive outlets to fulfill the emotional voids in your life will ultimately protect you from a future of ostricism, despair, and loneliness. (and also from getting called out on the internet by some twenty-something punk for looking like a perv.)

There are two very different futures ahead of you, my friends. Do yourselves, and us all, a huge favor, and be the best person you can be. Address your needs and rectify the situations that hold you back from living your dream. If you don't do it soon, you may be too late. Do everything you can to live the best life, the right life. Take care of yourself, and take care of each other.

Good night.

[BabyLex]

Tris,

Always great to read your posts. It's been awhile since I've logged in, great to see you're still participating and keeping things interesting.

Btw, where on the west coast are you?

--Lex

[drynot]

While I cannot condone this type of behaviour from any individual in this lifestyle it still pains me to see that there is far, far too much focus on how overweight the subject of Tris's rant was......

Why Tris? Why do you feel the need to berate the individual about their weight? Its not just you either. Poking fun at overweight individuals seems to be a national past time for many folks.....

[turtlepins]

Cruel, but good word choice. That's the problem with deciding you're better than someone else for whatever reason. It always comes off cruel. Next time, instead of making it about this person or that, make it about the cause, and your feelings. Don't come off as judge, jury, and executioner. I'm sure I'm an idiot too many times to count! And I've been torn into like that from time to time, about other things, some deserved. It always kills something inside me, takes something away I can never get back, and leaves me bloodied and wounded and alone and withered. Just a thought.

[tris]

Like I said, I knew this wouldn't earn me many friends, and that there would be consequences and casualties.

Drynot, Tpins: I will reaffirm that I believe that anyone can change, at any time, for any reason. While I won't take this in a personal direction for either of you, will say plainly that, just like everyone else, your present is based on your past and the choices you have made. The good news is that you can steer your future into a more desirable destination, at any time. You must simply choose to do so.

As far as the weight thing goes -- isn't the obesity rate something like 42%? It's no secret Americans are fat. I agree, the definition could use some tweaking, but 42% is nearly half. Even at a conservative guesstimate, we're still talking 30-something percent -- that's not cool, yo. Bringing it back for a second, I'd like to shout out to my homeboy Lex up there -- I believe it was he that started the 'Drop a diaper size' thread and challenge? That's Proof positive: Your status quo can be changed at any time. You only have to choose.

Look, what I'm getting at with all of this is that a generation can be an inspiration, an example worthy of note, or it can be a reminder, a note to take heed; to be made example of.

Being an ABDL can be a burden in one's hand, and an anchor on one's heart and mind. That is why I urge the young people to face their issues head-on, learn themselves, and how they must get along. Be social, build relationships. Play the game, and play it well. You only live once, and the sooner you can start to accept yourself, the sooner others can accept you, and your best life can begin. This comes with all kinds of rewards, not the least of which is not ending up middle-aged, fat, balding, alone, and possibly living in your mother's basement. (Or in a van down by the river!)

[rusty pins]

I have to agree with you about the Billboard part. I do, however, feel that obesity, while a problem, isn't something that everyone can help. Please realize that there are people out there who have medical metabolism problems and gastric bypass or lapband surgery isn't an option. Some people eat like birds and still can't lose the weight. Excersize is important, but in some cases it can't be done to the extent it should be based on medical conditions (including leg, knee and ankle problems, torn shoulder ligaments). There is no debate that losing weight is much healthier for a person as obesity can lead to heart problmes and diabeties. On the other hand, so many people focus on their looks and weight, especially some girls and teen girls! Trying to fit in the size 2 dress and starving yourself into anerexia is just as bad as obesity. People aren't perfect and we all have perceptions on how someone should look, but we also need to be more axcepting of others. In the big sceme of things, is being overweight such a reason to belittle and condem a person if they are a good person otherwise? Of course, I'm not talking about the creep showing off his diapers to all the little kids at the tree lighting ceramony, but hate him for being a creep, not for being overweight.

[diaperpt]

On the other hand, so many people focus on their looks and weight, especially some girls and teen girls! Trying to fit in the size 2 dress and starving yourself into anerexia is just as bad as obesity. People aren't perfect and we all have perceptions on how someone should look, but we also need to be more axcepting of others. In the big sceme of things, is being overweight such a reason to belittle and condem a person if they are a good person otherwise? Of course, I'm not talking about the creep showing off his diapers to all the little kids at the tree lighting ceramony, but hate him for being a creep, not for being overweight.

good points - I'll even accept your spelling errors (maybe you have spelling issues, don't like spell check or were using your cell phone).

Tris, I did like your first post - overall, though not in every detail. Unfortunately, I think you've gotten carried away a little in your further responses - could it be you were really looking for a flame response and not getting it decided to come back in and bait? Too bad you didn't quit while you had so many in agreement with you.

[LuvsGurl]

If you want acceptance and tolerance of our lifestyle, do the revolution a favor and cover your fat ass up.

QFT

[D_Rainger]

Shame on you! You are judgemental and cruel. How do you know this person did it on purpose? Did you talk to him? Tell him that he was "showing"? Maybe he would have appreciated the help. You didn't know what was really going on, you simply jumped to conclusions. Get off your high horse and have some human compassion.

-DR

[KittenAB]

The fact that it was an underwear clone diaper, I have to agree more with D_Rainger on this matter. Retardation comes in varying degrees, being over weight can cause other issues which require just a little more protection than vanilla underwear can contain, and the underwear clones are not made well at all for adults, their fit is just inhuman. A medium "pull up" as you called them comes almost to my chest, while the padding just below my hips, for most brands, Depends being the worst. Most who use these do so because they think no one will notice the difference, that is their selling point as a whole, and they are not made like a child's "pull up" at all. Also the fact that there was vanilla underwear over them, he may have actually attempted to hide them. There is just so many nonperverted possibilities, but this kind of snap judgment shows a flaw in the "fetish" community, not in this man's behavior, because you still haven't gotten over yourself. Hate to be blunt, but you were, are you so caught up in your own sexual perversion that you believe everyone who wears the same thing is also a sexual pervert? Can you not see how quickly you jumped into frame of mind? The vanilla folk I expect such knee jerking from, but someone who wears for pleasure should be a little more knowledgeable and thoughtful than they are.

[Yvhuce]

Screw political correctness... Only hot women should be allowed to wear clothes that don't fit properly... I'm a bit overweight, myself... And I wear appropriate clothing for 2 reasons: 1: It's more comfortable. 2: I know that people don't wanna see my fat hanging out. And quite frankly, I don't really want them to see it, either...

[KittenAB]

Screw political correctness... Only hot women should be allowed to wear clothes that don't fit properly... I'm a bit overweight, myself... And I wear appropriate clothing for 2 reasons: 1: It's more comfortable. 2: I know that people don't wanna see my fat hanging out. And quite frankly, I don't really want them to see it, either...

Honesty! If you're going to hate something, hate it.

[tris]

@Kitten, D_Ranger: Read the part where I said it was freezing cold outside. Everyone was bundled up from head to toe, and any exposed part of the body, no matter who it belonged to, would have been chilly enough to react by covering it up. I maintain that this was an act of exhibition.

Funny that most of you jumped on the weight issue. Your indignant responses lead me to believe that you too, suffer from a bit of a weight problem; I can understand that you might feel a bit hurt reading those words, as you've likely had them said to you at least once or twice. This was far from the focus of my diatribe, yet many of you chose to take it in that direction.

hate him for being a creep, not for being overweight.

This was the focus. But I felt it necessary to expand on his traits that would allow one to make logical inferences about his personality and lifestyle. (Yes, I know I just took a more euphemistic way around saying that I'm judgmental.)

But we're all judgmental, whether we want to be or not. Our media plays a very significant role in how we decide what's attractive by further magnifying (and often obscuring) the little details of our human condition. Add to this our natural instinct, and you've got what we now call a Stereotype. I hate Metallica, but: Sad But True. This defines how we interact with one another, and in turn, our social structure.

What I would like to impress is that even when one of us witnesses this kind of image, it's displeasing, and only moreso because we know that we're basically in the same boat. The moral of the story is: don't be that guy.

[D_Rainger]

But friend.... you still don't know for sure.

-DR

[KittenAB]

I wear miniskirts in 40F .... only put on a coat (jacket really) if it's colder than 50F .... when I walk (and I'm skinny) more than a block my body temperature rises to the point where I can get hot in the snow. Seriously, some people can stand even colder temps, though I prefer warmer temps it's not impossible for someone to be warm or even hot in "cold" weather.

Also, if you are judging someone by "what's attractive" ... then you really should get your head examined.