Real Children

[tris]

It's gonna be Halloween, and let's face it: it's really a kids' holiday. The rest of us can enjoy it, but I'd like to think that the main focus is handing out candy to kids and making them happy. However, this leads me to think of how I feel about kids in general. .

I'm an only child, but I have younger cousins, and now being closer to mommy's family, we're in contact with alot of her younger cousins/family.

To be blunt, children make me uncomfortable. Or rather, I just feel awkward around them. Like I'm unable to really connect with them, or have some kind of meaningful conversation. They're just odd creatures most of the time. Don't get me wrong, I like 'em enough, I just don't know what to do with them. Only once in the last couple of months did I get down on the floor and play cars with a toddler, like a toddler. The whole family was there watching and thought it was pretty cute that I did this, too. But generally, I just am more uncomfortable around children than anyone else. Is this weird?

So is this just me, or do any of you go out of your way to avoid children (not just because of being an ABDL) when in public, or with family/friends?

[freswith]

I used to be the same. Then I realised that children were just people like me, only simpler. Talk to them the same way you might chat up a girl: Smile (eyes too), remember that everybody's favourite subject is themselves. Talk about them, ask them about their toys. Try to see the world through their eyes. They have much the same fears, they are probably afraid of a big grown-up like you, and they will be afraid of making fools of themselves. Come down to their level, avoid too much eye contact, and move slowly and gently, as you would with a puppy.

Don't be too worried about what other people think. Girlfriends, although they might say they are only after you for your body, if they are at all serious they will actually be assessing you on your potential as a father, and you will score a lot of points if you can show that you like children and can relate to them.

[toddmdl]

Halloween is not a kids holiday lol. When you're younger it is more about trick or treating but when I was in eigth grade I figured out how festive of a holiday it really is. My brother let me at the age of 14 go to a Halloween party at the college that I attend now and I realized it really is about getting dressed up and partying hard when you get older. It's just another event in America that we use to get festive and get inebriated haha. As far as kids go I like them, I think they're generally cute. I don't have much experience being around them but I like them and I would like to have a big family down the road when I have more patience.

[Yvhuce]

I don't like kids... Not to the point of hating them, though (last year, I did help a couple of kids retrieve their bikes after the neighbor dogs scared them)... I just don't like being around them... Especially nowadays... Back when I was a kid, everyone in town was authorized to whup everyone else's kids's asses if they acted up... Nowadays, parents can't even do that to their own kids... Stupid political correctness BS...

[PArms]

Being around kids is just something you have to get used to. Freswith has good advice.

I find that the hardest thing about young children is understanding their speech. Mom and dad understand them because they spend a lot of time talking to them, but when you're around them maybe once a month or less, then it's more difficult to decipher what they are saying (especially over the phone). I like to say "Oh really," or repeat back part of what they say. They will almost always respond with "Yeah." They get excited knowing that you're having a real conversation with them.

[diaperliz]

It's gonna be Halloween, and let's face it: it's really a kids' holiday.

Woooah, hold on, slow down, timeout, freeze frame, stop everything!

[*mongoose]

It depends what age of kid you are talking about. I like them up to the point when they can speak, anything after that it all goes downhill.

[Guest NaughtyAshes]

... Nowadays, parents can't even do that to their own kids... Stupid political correctness BS...

If by "political correctness" you mean preventing child abuse.

[fluff]

I really can't be bothered with children.

I don't know why really, I'm just not a child friendly environment.

I'll step up when I need to around kids but I'd prefer to be in a child free zone.

Which to be honest, sounds weird given the nature of my lifestyle. If an overwhelming amount of abs tend to dislike or probably more apt distance themselves from children is it perhaps its a natural defence mech that we all create.

[rusty pins]

I can get along with kids but I know what people mean about sometimes not being comfortable around them. In my case, it's more the parents fault sometimes. It seems that every parent thinks their children are the greatest ones in the whole world and that everyone else needs to feel that way too. I guess that's natural for a parent however I don't like going to a friend's house and having him tell his kids to jump on me and wrestle with me! He may enjoy that but I don't. I also don't think it's right to take kids to a restaraunt or coffee shop and have them tear up the place with misbehaving. My friend thinks it's fun and they should just be able to have fun and do what they want. He feels if they can't just do whatever they want then they won't have fun and won't want to go again in the future. Even at age 5 and 6, it's time to teach your kids proper manners and how to act when out in public. I feel that the kids are old enough at 8 and 6 to behave when out at a restaraunt and should start learning how to act in public. It's not fair to the staff at the restaraunt to have to clean up a big mess and it's not fair to other diners to be subject to loud and disrupting kids just because their dad thinks it's cute. Unfortunatly, some parents seem to turn a blind eye away from the behavior of their kids and feel that anything they do is OK because it's their kids. As my friend's kids have grown (collage age now) things are different, however I still say that kids can be fun when they are 4, 5, 6 or older as long as everyone keeps things in perspective and the parents don't force inappropriate behavior of their kids on others because their kids are the greatest and should be allowed to do whatever they want. Last thing I want are 6 and 7 year olds jumping off the couch onto my chair and grabbing my arms and hair to "wrestle with me" as their dad told them to.

[wetbear_nb]

Generally I like kids but prefer them to be walking and talking. Babies are kind of boring. People say I have a kid and animal magnetism because both always gravitate to me. So it's good that I get along with them. In one of my jobs. Kids look up to me and I have to deal with them, usually when they are scared and their lives are coming apart around them. Maybe because I am in touch with my inner child, they can relate to me better than other adults.

[ArtemisEnterri]

If by "political correctness" you mean preventing child abuse.

Spanking a child to prevent bad behavior is NOT child abuse! Beating the living sh!t out of a child IS child abuse. There is a MAJOR F***ING DIFFERENCE!

The whole "political correctness" stuff is ABSOLUTE PURE CRAP! It is "political correctness" which ruined education by telling teachers "You can't tell a child they are wrong, because it hurts their self esteem" and by telling gym teachers or sports coaches "You can't tell a child they lost a game, because it hurts their self esteem".

You know what? Education is NOT about "self esteem". Education is about learning RIGHT from WRONG and WINNING from LOSING! The word "C A T" is NOT spelled "K A T", 1 plus 1 does NOT equal 3 (and 2 plus 2 does NOT equal 5), and when you're playing a game, one team WINS the other team LOSES. I'm sick to hell of it. It's ruining the intelligence level of kids by the time they graduate high school, and makes it more difficult for them to get into college or even into a good job.

(Altho if you look at students of PRIVATE schools, which are usually run by churches, or home-schooled kids, you'll see a BIG difference because those kids are taught the RIGHT way to spell words, do math, and write sentences.)

As far as the whole issue of Halloween and whether it's a children's, teen's, or adult's holiday it all depends on your point of view.

And I tend to get along better with video game loving pre-teens and early teens than I do with other adults, and I have had plenty of experience with diaper changes (having 6 or 7 cousins younger than me and a total of about 16 or 17 nieces and nephews ranging in age from recently born to just turned 17).

[Darkfinn]

Kids don't bother me... they are ignorant of behavioral standards and don't know any better.

LAZY PARENTS however, infuriate me to no end. Children can be taught to be quiet and polite when in public settings... not screaming, running, and generally going crazy and being a nusiance.

When I was a kid... if I acted out in public I got the belt... it was that simple.

What ever happened to that?

[froggy]

Real children can be loads of fun to be around. I have one firm rule; my kink does involve real children. I teach teens. They are the harder ones.

[tris]

^ Uhm, is that really what you meant to say? Can I get an edit check?

To me, Teens are like bigger toddlers. They're exploring their world, albeit a little deeper, and experimenting with pushing boundaries, much in the way toddlers do. The only difference is that the (bad)attitude is more defined, and they've got acne. It's also harder to just put them down for a nap and walk away, much to the parent's dismay, I'm sure.

I don't think I should distance myself from them because of my lifestyle. But, I do understand that EVERYTHING you do affects a child until they possess the intelligence to fully understand the general cause-and-effect that is Life. Therefore, I watch myself carefully; I don't want to contribute to F*cking up a kid's worldview. I don't want the responsibility. .

[BabyJune]

All my life I desperately wanted to adopt a child. But now that I'm 50, I'm past the cutoff age to adopt an infant, (42 years old is the cutoff) which is what I preferred to avoid any behavioral or emotional problems with relocating an older child. I've spent most of my life working with children, though, by volunteering at an elementary school, being a scout leader for over 20 years, and spending my summers as a camp counselor. Although it isn't the same as having my own child, it gives me the experience of taking care of children. I was also a part-time foster parent to one of my little Scouts. I had her at my house every weekend from the time she was six years old until she was seventeen. She went away for college for a while, but she's back home and I still see her frequently. It was almost like having a daughter, I guess.

I've given up hope of becoming an adoptive parent and come to grips with it. It was a tough decision not to pursue it, but I just don't earn enough money. I know "money isn't everything" when it comes to being a good parent, but realistically, raising a child PROPERLY is expensive. Besides, as much as I adore children, I really want to use my money to retire early.

[Yvhuce]

If by "political correctness" you mean preventing child abuse.

No. I mean the infringement upon people's rights because some pansy-ass folk worry more about hurting some people's feelings than anything else. The idea of "spanking = child abuse" is 100% Grade A Bullshit. Political correctness was perhaps started with good intent, but it's now a monster that's turning the future generations into wusses and criminals, because it's not politically correct for them to "learn the hard way" or take accountability for their own actions. Children are manipulative creatures who, if not properly motivated, will do what they want... Do you honestly think that BS like "time out" will curb bad behavior? Not nearly as much as good ol' fashion spanking with a board or belt. I speak from experience, there... I had some friends whose parents were onboard with that whole "time out" stuff... They often wondered just why I'd decline to do stuff that would get us in trouble... "If I do this and get caught, I'll have to go sit in a corner" or something similar is laughable compared to "If I do this, I may not be able to sit down for a while...", in terms of preventing one from getting into trouble...

Spanking a child to prevent bad behavior is NOT child abuse! Beating the living sh!t out of a child IS child abuse. There is a MAJOR F***ING DIFFERENCE!

The whole "political correctness" stuff is ABSOLUTE PURE CRAP! It is "political correctness" which ruined education by telling teachers "You can't tell a child they are wrong, because it hurts their self esteem" and by telling gym teachers or sports coaches "You can't tell a child they lost a game, because it hurts their self esteem".

You know what? Education is NOT about "self esteem". Education is about learning RIGHT from WRONG and WINNING from LOSING! The word "C A T" is NOT spelled "K A T", 1 plus 1 does NOT equal 3 (and 2 plus 2 does NOT equal 5), and when you're playing a game, one team WINS the other team LOSES. I'm sick to hell of it. It's ruining the intelligence level of kids by the time they graduate high school, and makes it more difficult for them to get into college or even into a good job.

(Altho if you look at students of PRIVATE schools, which are usually run by churches, or home-schooled kids, you'll see a BIG difference because those kids are taught the RIGHT way to spell words, do math, and write sentences.)

Damn straight.

Kids don't bother me... they are ignorant of behavioral standards and don't know any better.

LAZY PARENTS however, infuriate me to no end. Children can be taught to be quiet and polite when in public settings... not screaming, running, and generally going crazy and being a nusiance.

When I was a kid... if I acted out in public I got the belt... it was that simple.

What ever happened to that?

Again: Damn straight.

[Guest NaughtyAshes]

spanking a child is hitting a child. hitting a child is abuse. period. end of story.

There is no such thing as "political correctness" there is just being a decent mature human being. If you want to criticize people for trying to be decent and respectful then I think you have problems.

[turtlepins]

So is this just me, or do any of you go out of your way to avoid children (not just because of being an ABDL) when in public, or with family/friends?

I work with children all the time, and I love it! Kids somehow know I'm a kids kinda guy, and they warm up to me pretty quickly. I especially love toddlers and play with them whenever I get the chance. I can be a pirate, an elephant, or any other character needed for the moment. Telling stories is a specialty of mine. But then I raised three of my own, so I should be comfortable around kids. Kids will warm to you if you are open and honest, kind and attentive. I'm mentoring a young couple with a 15 month-old boy. They get embarrassed when he comes into my office and pushes all my books to the back of the shelf and helps himself to my toy Jeep and plays with it on the floor, takes off the spare tire and the top. I have to remind them often that he's just being a fifteen-month-old boy! People still tell me I shouldn't get down on the floor and play with kids but I don't care. I love kids!

[ArtemisEnterri]

spanking a child is hitting a child. hitting a child is abuse. period. end of story.

There is no such thing as "political correctness" there is just being a decent mature human being. If you want to criticize people for trying to be decent and respectful then I think you have problems.

Gee, it's really funny that a punishment method that was STANDARD for HUNDREDS of years is suddenly considered "abuse".

As Yvhuce said, "time out" or taking things (toys, games, meals, etc) away from the kids DO NOT WORK to stop bad behaviors.

The ONLY PROVEN method throughout all of recorded history has been CORPORAL PUNISHMENT (meaning spanking).

I will say it again, SPANKING to correct or prevent bad behaviors IS NOT ABUSE. Abuse is when an adult beats the total sh!t out of a child because the adult doesn't know when to stop.

[turtlepins]

Kids and I generally get along, but I think my real problem is that I want to still 'BE' a kid and so I am jealous of kids for what they have and such... Kids aren't stupid, and they can tell if you are a decent person and a straight shooter, thats why I guess they are practically drawn to me..I guess.. i am who I am and don't pretend to be anything other then who I am.

I just wish i was a kid sometimes and be able to forget about the world and just go somewhere to play or ride my bike, like I used to.

*SIGH*

qwack

I love your passion, Ducky! My parents never had kids of their own, and they never should have been allowed to adopt us. You're right about getting down to children's level and enjoying their world. Don't be jealous! They'll let you in anytime you want to join! huggles and snuggles!

[Yvhuce]

spanking a child is hitting a child. hitting a child is abuse. period. end of story.

There is no such thing as "political correctness" there is just being a decent mature human being. If you want to criticize people for trying to be decent and respectful then I think you have problems.

Wrong.

Artemis already shot down your first arguement, so I'll take on the second one.

"Political Correctness" has nothing to do with being descent and respectful. It it did, then we wouldn't have a problem with it because the PC crowd would respect our decision to not fall for their lies and wussification techniques... When they try to villify us because we tell an kid that it's wrong to run around kneecapping people with a claw hammer, or let them put their hand on the red-hot stove coil to see that it is, in fact, hot, then they become the enemy. They want the world to be like the evil that is Barney & Friends, rather than to allow even a shred of real human nature to be acceptable...

[Mary-Ann]

I like kids . I find it most easy to get along with those under age 7. they are fun. I think it is easy for me to get along with children because i remember what it was like when i was a kid .

I think one swat on the bottom is okay but definitely not belt or paddling . when a kid is obedient because she is scared of what you will do if you find out they just learn to be sneaky . I know from my own experience . if you take the time to teach values and right from wrong they develop a inner jiminy cricket a conscience . time out doesn't work if you use it too much or incorrect . if you give kids enough supervision they have less opportunity to get in trouble .

those who believe its okay to spank kids do you Also think it okay to spank your dog ? do you think it okay to hit other adults ?

and I like Barney btw

[curiositykilledthecat]

I like kids from birth to five years, then they suck until about 16.

[anondl]

I like kids as long as they aren't my own. They're a lot of fun for a few hours but when I get tired I'm glad they have parents and I'm free to go home.

Anondl