Is It Worth Waiting For An Ab/dl Girl?

[cuteabdl]

I'm a 25 y/o male and I'm still in the closet about being an ab/dl. When I was with my ex girlfriend, I never got the courage to tell her about my diaper fetish - out of fear of humiliation, rejection, and the ruining of my life basically. I felt guilty about holding back this part of me from her, and in many ways I know that it contributed to the ending of our relationship. My biggest fear was her telling her friends about it, and it getting around to my friends and family. To me, her knowing my big secret and having something on me wasn't worth the bundles of joy that I would get from seeing her in diapers.

When I was with her, I wanted an ab/dl girl so badly. I wanted (and still want) somebody who can relate to diapers the way that I do. I don't feel that I will ever *truly* be happy until I am with a girl that shares the same passion that I have for diapers. I'm at a point in my life where I feel that dating is pointless, unless it is with an ab/dl girl. But at the same time, I know how few females there are with this fetish.

Is it worth waiting for an ab/dl girl?

For those of you who are in relationships and have told your significant (non-ab/dl) other about this side of you, how did things turn out?

[Necare]

Well, I never thought that I would find someone open and accepting towards this particular fetish, and I was thoroughly depressed about the whole situation. But lo and behold, when everything seemed bleak and hopeless, I met the most wonderful girl I could ever hope to meet! I told her about my fetish almost at once, she had not heard about it before, but she was intrigued, and was willing to give it a try. She is growing more and more comfortable with being my mommy, and because she has been so accepting of this, I have also learned to accept that part of me. Something which I did not think was possible before I met her. So, yeah, it is possible to meet the girl you are dreaming of! Just have faith that it will happen man, it can you know. Cheers, and good luck with your search!

[waycool_jr]

Well lets put it like this. You have better chance of winning the lottery Twice in your life time then hooking up with a Ab/dl girl. Sorry dude its just the facts. So here are the facts that we have discussed many times on here, for every fifty Ab/dl boys in the world there’s only one Ab/dl girl and most of those are looking for daddy's not playmates.. Abdl girls are very very rare in our culture.

Don't believe me? just go to the personals site here look up how many guys are seeking girls and then look up how many girls are looking for guys Nuf said....

My advive find girl that can except you for you and live your life.

Peace

Good luck

[diaperwearntigger]

There are more ABDL girls out there than you realize. Unfortunantly, many still like to hide in the shadows because of HNG (horny net geeks) who are only after one thing. We do exist and relationships can happen. I guess my daddy/hubby is very forunante being one of the few that did find an ABDL girl of his own, but I do know that his search was a long one, but I would think he would say it was worth the wait

I personally did not want to date out of the scene, I just think its much easier on everyone if you find someone who is into the scene, less explaining to do and definitely less heartache. I have many guy friends who are ABs and who's SO does not want anything to do with their baby side. They are accepting, but not just a willing participant.

If you stick with what you want you eventually will get it, it just might not be in the timing you want it to be in. Big advice from this AB girl.... DO NOT show yourself as a HNG, or being lonely and desperate... all of those are a big turn off. I think what has worked for my daddy/hubby and I is that we established a friendship first ever before we became daddy/baby.... Our relationship is not based on diapers, we look at diapers as a bonus to our relationship.

Another word of advice, don't go actually looking for an AB girl.... relationships always happen when you are not looking for one. When I met my daddy/hubby 4 1/2 yrs ago, I was not looking for a relationship, nor was he... maybe thats why we became friends first because neither one of us was looking for anything more than that.

I think the biggest mistake that couples make in the ABDL relationship area is that they are too focused on the diapers, and they don't really get to know each other. The diapers are a great common interest, but lets be realistic you can't have diaper play all the time.... You have to find other common interests as well to keep a relationship going... after all we still need to work, we have bills to pay, we have adult lives to live.... Just look at the diapers as a bonus to your relationship.

Don't get discouraged... everything happens for a reason and everything happens in its perfect time.

[Baby Bethany]

I've been with my wife since I was 22, so haven't looked for a gf since then. I was 22 in 1991, and back then you would have had very little chance. The only way you could really meet another AB of any form was through a contact mag or at a fetish club/party.

I didn't really think about AB girls, because I wasn't really sure if there were any. I focused more on finding a regular gf and then, at some point, having the guts to tell her. I didn't tell any of my gf's (like you I was nervous) until I actually found myself in a long term relationship and living with her. I told her because I thought I was living a lie, and also because I was fed up with hiding stuff and only indulging when she was out. Anyway I told her, and she packed her bags and left. She just couldn't accept it. She was quite a kinky girl, but she wouldn't try to understand this.......she just thought it was wrong.

At first I was upset and thought I would never find an accepting gf, but then I met my wife and kind of forgot about her. The offshoot was that it took me 12 years to actually tell my wife, we had been married about 3 years by then. I just became very depressed over keeping this secret, and finally decided that I would rather be alone than live a lie, so I told her. That was 5 years ago, ago and she's been my mommy ever since.

I think it's actually quite easy to meet a girl on a forum like this, but yeah, the odds of her being in your area, single, and willing to meet are pretty long.

I think if I had it to do again, I would just find a girl I like first and then explain to her after a few weeks. Some will accept it and some won't.

Just a couple of points:

Don't bother with a girl that goes blabbing all your private business to friends and family, some things are private between the two of you.

I have a DL friend who has a technique that he has used to tell, I think, 3 girls, and all have accepted his diaper wearing. I'm not recommending it because it's deceiving, but I am aware that it's worked........for him. If you are really interested, I will tell you.

Beth

[diamondback6881]

I've been with my fiance for about 3 years now. When we went out on a that first date, I immediately told her that I had to wear diapers, what happened etc. She wasn't disgusted and was actually very sympathetic. And the rest, as they say, is history. I can only reitterate what has already been said. DO NOT come on to a girl acting like an HNG. It is a major turn-off. Find out what their interests(other than diapers) are, and try and have a genuine interest in them. Do not base your relationship solely on diapers.

[Mean Mommy]

Sometimes you need to be proactive about these sort of things.

Compared to the rest of the population, the amount of people out there who identify and embrace their sexual deviance is low. Besides, just because you find a girlie who likes wearing diapers doesn't actually mean you'll like her. Diaper fetishism is only one aspect of your significant other. She may look cute in diapers but what if she has no sense of humor, or smells like onions? And have you noticed where we hail from? We're all over the place! It will be very pricey to exclusively date the AB/DL community.

So you need to convert people. As in, you need to find a good candidate to join the church of kink.

I did this with my boy. When we first dated he snarled at any hint of wearing diapers, now he's ready to jump in a pair at the mention of them. I managed to convince him to explore his diaper fetishism thanks to a lot of patience and a lot of trust.

1. Select the proper candidate.

Try to find a girl who you like (duh) and who you sense has a freaky side. This takes a lot of diligence and care. Notice the things she says. Does she make any vaguely kinky jokes? They reveal a dirtier mind than you may have previously thought. If she mentions diapers without provocation then you can be fairly confident you have a closet AB/DL on your hands (my boy used to drop a few diaper jokes fairly often).

Also, like Baby Bethany said, if you can't trust that your girl, she ain't the girl for you. Maybe you were too scared to test her trust with this possibly damning secret. So test her trust in other ways. You need to figure out where her loyalty lies.

2. Encourage open-minded conversation.

Initiate conversations about sex. Ask her if there's anything she'd like to try in the bedroom. If she has a healthy sexual appetite, she should have compiled a mental list. You probably won't hear diapers being mentioned. As far as kinks go it's still something people feel a lot of shame about. But maybe she'll want to be spanked, maybe she'll want to smack your butt with a whip. Listen to her and try your best to accommodate her desires within reason. You shouldn't let her hang you from the ceiling by your wrists if that's not something you're comfortable with, but you should let her bind them together. Talk until your both happy and satisfied.

Likewise you should share some of your sexual predilections too. Don't tell her about your intense love for diapers yet. Let your gf be comfortable in a sexually progressive relationship, and work on supporting and trusting each other's sexual identity.

3. Finally, take the plunge.

When you know you have an open-minded trustworthy girlfriend, take a deep breath and tell her. It probably won't be received warmly (when I told my boy he pretended he hadn't heard for a while...veeery awkward...) If she's willing to accommodate you then you succeeded. Let her warm up to this idea, encourage her participation and be patient. If all goes well you will soon have a rabid diaper fan in no time.

You just have to sew some seeds first. Then reap the awards later.

[tris]

In answer to the question at hand, "Is it worth waiting for an ABDL girl?" -- Aren't you still gonna be 'waiting' no matter what? I mean, c'mon, guys -- pick a hand and see how long you can stick with it.

At the very least, it's great practice, great practice for a real relationship, and uhh its a great way to stay in shape.

And when the real deal comes along, you'll be confident in knowing that you don't "need" "her" to satisfy and complete you --you already are.

and uhh, it's a great way to stay in shape.

[lil_baby_wet_n_squishy]

If your waiting forever means that you turn into an anti social person that spends all of their time on the computer trying to find one... then thats bad. You need to get off your computer and go out and meet people and have fun. When you least expect it you will run into someone. AB/DL isn't everything in life. If you find a girl that truly loves you, she will be willing to accept the ab thing.

[babybuhbu25]

I told my GF/wife about 1 year into our relationship. We've now been together for 9 years. I'm more of a DL, but I do really enjoy the diaper change. I started off slow by dropping hints about changing my diaper, and it slowly progressed. Granted, I only wear about 2-3 days a month. I enjoy it very much. Now days, I'll bring her a diaper and she'll change it. And about 100% of the time wearing diapers leads to sex. Lately, she's really into me humping her with the diaper while she spanks and grabs me. I still take it slow with things. Like the fact that I want to order better diapers and a onesie and/or sleeper online. I'm not sure how she'll take it, but we'll see how things go.

Just build up trust in your relationship and things will work out.

[Guest Newph]

I don't think I could possibly be happy in a relationship with a girl who wasn't an AB/DL or open minded enough to indulge with me. Either way though, I'm waiting and perfectly content with doing that at the moment anyway. I got more important matters in my life (such as saving my money for college ) than worrying over if I'll ever meet the perfect girl for me.

-Newph

[Topguy]

I've had about ten casual girlfriends in diapers over the past fifteen years. None of them were ever really meant to be anything "serious" just for fun. But I'm pretty much a Top, as my name here suggests. And I am in no way a baby-submissive women are just not into that shit.

The last thing they want to do is take responsibility for a guy. Because THEY get off on giving up the control-not taking it.

[Guest Newph]

I've had a girlfriend who liked taking control. Didn't like diapers though (kinda ruined our relationship). Go figure.

-Newph

[babylin]

You're only 24 and like most HNG from the tone of your letter "you want what you want". Hey! Grow up! A lasting relationship is not about you and your wants. Stop being obsessive-compulsive. Learn to accept yourself first. Learn to be happy with yourself. Learn not to be lonely, but happy alone. Not many women are looking for a "fixer-upper" guy. Date. Find a woman who attracts you and turns you on then be yourself. Sometime before you commit, tell her of your diaper desires. You may lose her, so what. By then you will be able to attract another woman, or another, because you will be a happy person and more self-confident and someone a woman is attracted to.

I didn't find my wife until I was 31. We've been married 26 years and my bride still does not know about my diaper desires. She is more important to me than the diapers. Once you learn to accept yourself, life begins.

HAPPINESS IS WEARING COTTON DIAPERS.

[WDCA]

You don't necessarily have to find an AB girl to fulfill this desire of yours. I told my high school sweetheart about the diapers expecting her to freak out. Instead she was the kind of girlfriend who wanted to understand my preoccupation with diapers and explore it. She wasn't kinky, she wasn't crazy, she just loved me and was willing to take an interest in my diapers for me. It turned into a fun activity to share and it brought us way closer.

You don't necessarily have to find an AB, you just need to find someone who is open, understanding, and will take an interest in you.

[BriGuy]

It has been my personal experience that finding an ABDL girl is very difficult. They are usually shy to come about because of the mass barrages of PM's from HNG's. It has been my experience however, that if you are comfortable with who you are you will likely find someone who is willing to accept you and partake in your lifestyle.

[lynniehyde]

It has been my personal experience that finding an ABDL girl is very difficult. They are usually shy to come about because of the mass barrages of PM's from HNG's. It has been my experience however, that if you are comfortable with who you are you will likely find someone who is willing to accept you and partake in your lifestyle.

Absobloomin'lutely!

At present, I do not have a "mommy", nor am I actively seeking one. Although, I do have some close GFs, who enjoy my company. Don't know if any one of them is a "Mommy/Baby Gurl" candidate. But they're interested. They like playing. Whether it's "big sis", "baby sis", Mommy", or babysitter, whatever. That's fine with me. Everybody has fun. The main thing is, they know. Honesty goes a long way. For yourself and for your sigs. Honesty, is where trust begins. And, trust is the foundation of a strong relationship.

Walk on Faith. It works. Works for me, anyway. Word. It's worked everytime. No matter what you're dealing with in life. UBU. No fear. No guilt. You may be surprised at the results. You might just find the one of your dreams. I've found several of mine.

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

[diaperwearntigger]

I think waiting for that right girl, whether ab or not, is always worth the wait.......

[sarah_ab]

Why not try looking for a girl on an ab/dl oriented personals site.....

i look at it like anyone in the singles scene, when you go out looking to meet people, you go to a place that interests you, a sports bar, or a museum or a library etc... in the hopes of meeting someone there, assuming they will have at least that one interest in common with you.. and when you meet someone who happens to be a fan of the same baseball team you are... does that mean you two will immeiately hit it off and live happily ever after? absolutely not!

its the same with putting an ad on an ab/dl personal site.. or any other theme oriented personal site.... you've found a large group of people who have at least one thing in common with you and now your task is to 'mingle' and get to know other aspects of the people until you find someone who you 'click' with....

Having just ONE thing in common with another person, be it diapers, or sports, or liking the same author, in no way implies you are meant for each other.

in regards to waiting for an ab/dl girl, i say no way, at least go out and meet other girls, go on some dates, see who is out there... and keep looking on ab/dl sites as well....

For me, i knew that being an ab was an important part of my life, and i imagined that when i found 'the one' he would be someone who would enjoy being my daddy, BUT i didn't just sit around waiting to meet a daddy and hope we clicked, i went out and met lots of people, lots of different ways, while still keeping out the 'feelers' in the ab/dl world... and i did find a daddy and a boyfriend and an incredible friend all in one.....

I know.. i rock!

[Vic]

I think that waiting is cool, I've dated a lot of "vanilla" girls in my time, and have always broken up. One of the contributing factors has been wearing diapers. The trouble in my case has been that I've lived with several of them, and they insisted it be "sans diapers".

Well I let that go on, but in the end it just wasn't worth it so I'd break it off with them. Let me tell you that "breaking up is hard to do" (excuse the pun). When you decide to leave somebody it never goes well, there is no such thing as a "good" breakup.

So I decided to look in the AB/DL community exclusively. for the first couple of years though I just got back to being comfortable with being me. I don't think that there's anything wrong with "vanilla" girls, it's just that so many of them have issues with you wearing diapers (note to self, when dating "vanilla" girls make sure they're open minded).

For the last couple of years I've just looked inside the community, and I'm at a point now where I'm thinking of going "vanilla" again, but still keeping an eye on the community. I still have to give this some thought, because so many of the girls I've dated wind up living with me. Sometimes that's just a recipe for failure.

I guess that if I do go back to dating that I'll just keep my eye out on the community and not become "exclusive" with anybody (unless they're that rare understanding and accepting kind). So my advice is to go ahead and date, but keep your eye out for an AB/DL. You'll improve your chances of meeting the right girl.

Peace,

Vic

[Aleia]

Don't put such strict conditions on falling in love--by looking primarily for an AB/DL-oriented girl, you're putting up walls, making it harder for yourself to fall in and enjoy love. Just go out and interact with lots of different people, and let your hormones and psychology do the matchmaking. Like everyone else is saying, AB/DL play should be a bonus in a relationship, not a stumbling block for potential soulmates.

[Cute Baby Ronnie8633]

Well, I never thought that I would find someone open and accepting towards this particular fetish, and I was thoroughly depressed about the whole situation. But lo and behold, when everything seemed bleak and hopeless, I met the most wonderful girl I could ever hope to meet! I told her about my fetish almost at once, she had not heard about it before, but she was intrigued, and was willing to give it a try. She is growing more and more comfortable with being my mommy, and because she has been so accepting of this, I have also learned to accept that part of me. Something which I did not think was possible before I met her. So, yeah, it is possible to meet the girl you are dreaming of! Just have faith that it will happen man, it can you know. Cheers, and good luck with your search!

I was in a six yr relationship with my ex girl,i hid my diaper fetish from her,because of the very same reasons you did,being humiliated,rejected,laughed at,but,i did mention once,how a guy i knew wore diapers,and,she indeed did laugh,but,she acted curious,she knew i had fooled around with guys in the past,that much she knew,she knew that i am bi going into the relationship,anyway'one night i secretely met up with diaper guy,and,went home with him,and,of coursed got diapered up,and,had fun,in the morning,he gave me a few pairs of gorgeous plastic pants to take with me,of course i couldn't refuse,so i sneaked them in to our apartment,and,hid them,to make a long story short,she discovered my baby pants,and,what i feared most,happened,she ridiculed,told her sisters,i was humiliated,we broke up,best thing that ever happened,because i moved in with diaper boy,and,was finally free to be who i always was,a diaper boy.

[RebelIdentity87]

Like other's have said, don't base a relationship around it. I know, I've always wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship with a girl who shared the interest as deeply as me, who was thinking about it since they were like 12, and other things like that. But I never let it stop me, my ex girlfriend was incredibly adorable and wore for me alot, by the end she'd tell me about doing it on her own just thinking about me when I wasn't around.

My current girlfriend is uncomfortable, but willing to work towards it, she acts babyish on her own, shes ok with a paci but diapers weird her out, but thats fine, because I love her so much, I couldn't care if she never grew to like it, if your love is so shallow as to need it, well, I don't think I need to finish that sentence. Don't limit yourself, and just date normally, the right girl will come along, and you always have this website to share experiences and learn.

[ayed]

I agree with those who have said "find the right partner, and the rest will follow" (in one way or another). You may never find an AB/DL girlfriend, but if you find a true life partner, by definition she will be accepting of the whole you. My wife isn't into diapers or AB lifestyle, but she loves me and therefore she is accepting of my interest in wearing diapers. Of course, I was too scared of losing her to be honest with her about my secret life, but, luckily (!) she was nosey & found my "hidden" stash of diapers, so i HAD to tell her! and man am I glad that happened!

just keep looking for the right partner, it will happen some day, and when it does, you'll be able to share that part of your life with her. Don't expect she will take a similar interest in diapers, but if she loves you, she will want to make you happy, and that will include your diaper interest.

[Aria Rift]

My fetishism does not define who I am, it is merely a part of me. I told my then fiancee about my desires a few months before we were married. She didn't want that in our lives, so I put it away and only engage every now and then when she is not around. I can always hope that someday she'll bring it up and we can explore those elements, but if not, then I haven't lost much. We are very happy together and so the compromise is worth it to me.