Many years ago, when I wore diapers for the first time in public, underneath clothing of course, I was very young, and anxious about being discovered by somebody I knew. I had often that smoking cigarettes could “calm your nerves”, and so I purchased a pack of cigarettes, and lit one. The context of the situation was that I was in my first year of college and tremendously stressed out. I had resolved to put away my “AB/DL” desires for good once I went off to college, however the stress caught up, and I found myself purchasing a pack of disposable adult diapers. Because I could not wear around my dormitory or the campus, I went to the local mall, and put on my diapers in the bathroom. I then lit my cigarette, and took a big drag. The effect was amazing, and from then on, I almost never wore diapers without smoking. Throughout my life, my times where I was able to wear diapers were always in discrete periods lasting no more than a day or two. When I’m not wearing diapers, I do not smoke.
Now, I am at the point where I’m concerned about the health effects of smoking, even though I am not a continual smoker. I value my health, and exercise on a regular basis. I feel that smoking disrupts my fitness routine, and I get discouraged. I feel that if I can refrain from smoking during one of my “episodes” when I’m wearing diapers, I can reduce my health risks, and end up feeling much better about the situation. I do end up feeling guilty after a period of wearing comes to close, mainly because of the smoking, much less so because of the wearing diapers and infantile clothing. For those if you are not familiar with my mind set when I’m wearing, I picture myself as a 13-year-old boy who is made to wear diapers and toddler clothing such as corduroy overalls, onesies, an elastic waist corduroys. Humiliation is a big aspect of my fantasy life in this respect, and to a large extent, the cigarettes help me deal with the humiliation.