Bettypooh

Pursue your dreams- that is really what life is all about You may not achieve all of them but if you do not try you never will. There's usually a lot of hard work and sacrifice involved in achieving your dreams and goals but it's all worth it in the end when you get what you always wanted. If you like the WH environment you might consider a path into management. It's a PITA job but if you're really good at it you might get up to being a District manager and then you're set for life after that. The same goes for any kind of job anywhere. It's usually our own self which limits how far our careers go but if you can tolerate what it takes to get where you want to be it's a dream fulfilled and worth going for Bettypooh

Happy New Year everyone And a reminder that this forum has special rules prohibiting the posting of remarks which are critical about those on the path to desired incontinence as well as excessive re-hashing of things which have already been well-posted about it. Such posts will be removed and a verbal warning given which does not affect your account here, but persisting in such violations after being warned will result in more serious action being taken right up to being banned when that is deemed necessary. If you do not like what we do here or what this forum is about then simply do not post here. Bettypooh

This is called a "win" and I'm much the same- quite happy that my back hasn't yet failed me completely although that is possible at any time. I'm very careful to not over-stress it which limits me at work, but so far I've found ways to manage. Bettypooh

I'd try different taping techniques and different diapers. It's been my experience that diaper fit is everything with disposables, especially at the rear leg area. Wishing you spousal acceptance and harmony in your home in the New Year Bettypooh

My decaying back exacerbated my existing UI/SI/OAB problems to the point where I couldn't get by with pads anymore. So maybe not the direct cause but certainly a part of it all. Bettypooh

You need to contact the arresting officer who will know what the Court dates are as they have to appear at them. You should then contact the DA's office and find out the case number as well as if they are going to want you to appear and when. Make sure that whoever you speak to notes on the case paperwork that your temporary address is your workplace so that you receive any summons there; otherwise it will go to your address on file (where you left). The trial on the 23rd is probably a preliminary hearing where you won't be needed. It's basically just where the Courts determine whether a case is valid, considers any initial legal objections, then set a hearing date for the actual trial where you'll probably need to appear. The "no contact" rule applies to all cases but is mostly to ensure that the defendant does not interfere with the plaintiff (you) or try to coerce them. Just stay away from the house and you're fine. It usually takes a few days for the paperwork to get shuffled around between the involved agencies to coordinate things, so for now don't worry about anything. Just take steps to ensure that those agencies know how to contact you now and in the future should you gain a more permanent address. Any bills you may have gotten via mail will need to be dealt with differently until you get a new address set up. In the meantime I'm hoping you can find somewhere to stay PDQ because being essentially homeless sucks, and you've had too much crap thrown at you already to have that added to the list. Bettypooh

There's the end of it in a nutshell. Molesters and CP addicts never really get over it any more than alcoholics do, and probably less. At best they modify their external behavior to hopefully prevent being caught again but inside they're still the same. They will have the same thoughts as they always had when triggered. Personally I don't think external behavior modification is enough here; what's really needed is to physically prevent any possible action or behavior. If that can't be done then they should be forever removed from society. I'm sorry that it ended this way. Best now to forget about that one- nobody can do well with a loser dragging them down constantly, so cut your losses completely and go on with your life. Bettypooh

Nothing really hidden, just out of sight. Closet shelf for large storage, wardrobe for ready-to-use and cloth diapers/accessories, and sometimes a drawer when the wardrobe space runs out. Used cloth diapers go in a diaper pail with lid in the closet if I'm wearing for more than one or two changes and aren't going to do laundry right away. If only one or two cloth diapers, they get a rinse and go into the washer or shower till the evening. Always spare diapers double-bagged in the vehicles; those I do keep hidden but accessible. Bettypooh

What field are you in? Some do require college but many don't or they have positions you can advance from where a degree isn't required. I know of a guy in engineering design who does OK but he has no engineering degree, only a very good knowledge of his particular job. Similar positions exist in many fields where most people believe a degree is required but isn't. If you do go back, avoid the 'for profit' schools as a lot of those aren't accredited with the right agencies to allow you to transfer credits, and their degrees are often not accepted by larger companies. There's a good "Tech" school system here and many of the bigger companies have hiring programs through them. Just don't get too deep in debt doing this, as the rules for student loans have changed and you can't escape or reduce that debt anymore. Maybe better to get a lower degree to get your foot in the door with a company who will provide for assistance in furthering your education through them after you've been there awhile Bettypooh

If you hover over user-name in the forums or go to their profile, you'll see a "message" button. Alternately send an email to: allaboutdiapers@hotmail.com I don't do technical stuff here since we've got better people for that or I'd handle it Bettypooh

I'd help out but I'm in a financial tight spot myself right now. There's a Flea Market in Greer which sells adult diapers but it seems only the "institutional" kind and I don't know their prices but I've seen them on Craigslist. Might be worth a look if you're near there. I don't know your field of business, but there's tons of open jobs in this area for most things, but maybe not the best pay, at least to start. If you've got any construction or restaurant skills you can get something going in no time. PM me if you want and maybe I can help with some thoughts even if I can't spare a dime. Bettypooh

Sorry to hear that things have come to a head so suddenly but I think you did the right thing. It sort of seemed inevitable from this end. Another short-term option might be a "Bed and Breakfast" for a night or two until something more permanent pans out. Some are cheaper than a hotel and at least you can get a hot shower and a real bed to sleep in with them. The "Extended Stay" type hotels are not often safe so I'd avoid them. Another option might be getting a spot at a campground but that usually requires you have a tent with in-car camping not allowed. Amenities and costs vary based n the place, but again you can usually find a shower there. At this time of year, State parks usually have open camping spots and are generally cheap, again varying on the location. If all that is more than you can afford you can get a hot shower at a a truck stop for a few bucks. For now I wouldn't drop the charges; as long as those are active you'll have decent legal protection and you can drop them later if you wish to. Or ask the prosecutor for leniency should you want that, which will leave the conviction but result in minimal effects. But honestly, if you don't have plans to leave the area really soon, I'd just let things stay as they are. She did wrong and she needs to know that, and the Courts might call for a mental evaluation which could lead to her getting help for free with that. But were it me I'd be making plans to scoot ASAP and to forget the place forever, even if that was just a town or two away. Maybe your employer has branches elsewhere and can arrange for a transfer. That would make it all work smoothly for you. For now things will feel and be a little rough, but see all this as the opportunity you always wanted to get way from the people who have been causing your problems, and take advantage of that opportunity to build your own life without them. None of us needs to have such negative people in our lives, and family only remains family when they care about you.I learned that lesson long ago as my Mom's family were about the sorriest and dirtiest and rotten people in the world, so the moment I could cut those ties I did. It proved to be a very good choice, and I didn't need them anyway. Other than my siblings and their kids, I have no family outside of my friends, and my friends have proven to care for me better than family anyway- now they ARE my family. Hoping things get sorted out well and quickly for you, and do let us all know how it's going.We do care here! Bettypooh

I don't know if they are 'sleeping', but I do know they can make contact when they want to, as long as you don't reject it. And maybe even if you do. We've all heard the phrase "gut feeling". Well a number of times in my life I've experienced a feeling at the bottom of my stomach that's totally unlike anything else I've felt there. The moment I recognize it I can somehow tell what it means when it's there to warn me of danger ahead. The times I've ignored it have always caused me significant trouble so I don't ignore it anymore. Sometimes when the recognition occurs I will know that it's a message for someone else and who it is for. I'll call that person and explain things, and like with me if they don't pay heed to the message they end up in trouble. It usually only happens every few years, but it's happened three times in one summer once. It's literally saved my life a few times, and has done that for others too. I'm not sure what the source is and it's not always there. It seems to be something like the "spirit guides" that Native Americans tell of, or a "Guardian Angel" which is probably the same thing. And it's always about something which could not possibly have been known ahead of time by anyone, so there's definitely a future element involved. This leads me to wonder if perhaps spirits are indeed timeless It would certainly seem so! Bettypooh

Someone's reading comprehension skills need honing. Read the entire sentence, don't stop at the comma Bettypooh

Once it's handed over to a debt collector, the original entity no longer has any legal say in the matter which is why they won't speak with you. You should have not allowed things to get that far, and now you see why. The collection agency is now who you are going to have to deal with and yes, they are heartless ba$tards who care only about getting as much out of you as they can using any legal means possible to do that. They're experts in this which is why you need a financial counselor on your side who will have equal expertise. Bettypooh

I think the current discussion might be applicable to AB's but not so much DL's. As noted, RL babies do crave attention, perhaps as a method of controlling others but DL's don't get that kind of benefit as our wearing can't really control anyone but ourselves. And yes, there's a definite bias in any kind of research or diagnosis since we all are going to see things from our own perspective first and foremost before considering other perspectives. Kind of impossible for one person to do anything else. Better would be a "team" approach but that also has it's own problems as we're socially wired to agree and accept more than to reject someone else's position. We question whether we should speak out when we disagree, and that stifles some of our input when we're in a "team" atmosphere. I guess there's no really good answer to that dilemma. It's a rare person who does not want or try to control others. I try my best to be that kind of person after having experienced a distaste for the world's "manipulative" sorts. It's given me some insight in seeing how that most of us are being manipulated, who is doing it, and how they are achieving their goals. Some manipulators don't even see what they are doing or have a clue as to why they're doing it. I have also chosen to not become one of the manipulated as much as I can. It's far more widespread and runs deeper than most folks would believe, leading to counter-manipulation, counter-counter manipulation and so on in an endless loop. But that's a topic for elsewhere - I mentioned it only to show how it's presence is more common in AB than DL. We do tend to reject the parts of ourselves which we do not want, oftentimes exhibiting the exact opposite behavior in an effort to convince ourselves that we aren't like that; we certainly don't want the world seeing us that way. But in the end that's futility- we will either fail in our attempts to be what we're not or we'll eventually give in to the reality of who we are. Better to learn and know yourself then figure out how to make that work in your life. Which isn't always easy. We're diverse. We're meant to be this way. There's really no way we can always know what's behind our being ABDL; only that it isn't going to apply to everyone. Bettypooh

Rather interesting results mostly confirming Bitter Grey's research. A thought about the high percentage of Trans folks being ABDL: When you have such a massive thing going on in you and accept it, maybe even expressing it, that makes it much easier to accept smaller things in yourself too. You become less inhibited once you discover that you can still manage OK in life without adopting society's inhibitions as your own the way most people do. You'll see a similar trend in non-binary sexuality too. (BTW I'm liking the "non-binary" wording; a very good descriptor!). One thing I didn't expect is the weighting of the range of ages when desired incontinence became evident; I thought that was the opposite of what you've found. Interesting is that the beginning of that spike seems to be when sexual maturity has occurred (post-puberty) which does coincide with my noticing that for many this is also a sexually-related thing. Also interesting is how so many of us felt like we should have never had continence (raising my hand, jumping up and down screaming "Me!Me!Me!). Looking forward to the results of our un-potty training which should prove equally interesting. Bettypooh

Yeah, I don't think many ABDL's would be interested in this, since we so much want to wear diapers, so any attempts at potty training would end up in failure But I can see something in this for subs, or for humiliation purposes, or maybe even RP. I do know that here at home I occasionally like wearing my training pants under clothing and seeing how the wetness transfers through and I do similar with letting my diapers leak But it's a mood thing really. And I doubt many are like me in this regard Bettypooh

As a woodworker and sometimes furniture builder I've been pondering the crib idea for years. It's not something that would be hard to do, but it would be somewhat time-consuming in the average shop because of the set-up involved. Mass-production would spread the cost but how many to make, knowing how small the market is? And how long to sell them and recoup your investment? Then there's shipping which would be costly due to the size of the parts involved. Something plain wouldn't be expensive in materials but anything nicer would quickly run the costs to 2 or 3 times that price. I have ideas on making a "breakdown" kit like Ikea does where the user would do simple assembly which would save on shipping. I'll do a batch when I win the lottery, but til then it's not economically feasible on my end I have similar ideas for a High Chair, which could be done more economically with a nice product being made, but still there's the sales and marketing aspect to figure in. I've seen some nice stiff offered for sale at prices most can't afford, and I've seen some plain stuff which I wouldn't want if it were given to me free. Right now it's a custom (or at least semi-custom) build and that means expensive. Only high production can help with that. Bettypooh

@tyrantblade3500 What you need is financial counseling. I see where you've made bad decisions and until you learn how to handle money better you're going to keep on making those bad decisions. Plus Financial counselors know how the collection processes work and they may be able to get you a better alternative. But this much is always sure- doing nothing when any problem starts is always the wrong choice because unaddressed problems only get worse, not better. Bettypooh

This concept is in error. A lack of evidence often means that the thing in question is true, but nobody yet knows about it. A simple example is early perople's belief that thunder was caused by "gods" being angry. They found ways to prove those beliefs which stayed in place until the true cause of thunder (rapid expansion of air) became known and provable. Those who believed otherwise could not prove their point for ages. Thunder did not change- it was always caused by the expansion of air, only the data and knowledge involved changed. Those who disbelieved the "proven" gods theory were always correct in their negative opinion- it was only that they couldn't yet offer proof because it didn't exist at that point. There are many classical examples of this process showing that the lack of evidence does not automatically imply a negative result. There are more that two possible results to a question of provability. It is when you try to force the process by allowing only two answers that things go astray. Bettypooh

I'd add one thing to this: Don't be afraid of it. As long as you stay within the limits of what you can handle it can't harm you. But it can trick the unaware into exceeding their limits, and then you can and will suffer. Bettypooh

I was similar but different- I LOVE feeling wet and soggy but what I didn't (and still don't) like is feeling cold afterward. I've found that for me anyway, plastic-backed diapers or plastic/rubber panties prevent that from happening, or at least delay it for so long that I'll be changing before I get cold When I tried premium diapers I also discovered that I love how they swell up between my legs I'm not sure you could count this as any kind of "trigger" but it does something close to that when I think about it. Another trigger for me in my early teens before I acted on wearing was seeing a toddler wearing one of the original-style Pampers openly, which was a somewhat common sight in the hot summers here among us poor people. There's something about how the back of those fold and gapped and fit which I adore. I resisted the urge to stare back then, so I probably knew this was strong in me but I was really confused about it back then. I felt similar feelings when I saw plastic panties over a cloth diaper but that was a rare thing then. All I knew for certain was that I wished it were me doing the wearing I still remember some of those times clearly and I still daydream about what my life would have been like had I always been in diapers like I should have been. Yet none of these things alone were strong feelings so again are they triggers? I don't know. But it's all moot now that I wear 24/7 which feels like the fulfillment of a life-long dream Bettypooh

You don't have to drink constantly to be an alcohol addict. You don't even have to drink frequently to be one. All it takes is that you cannot control the desire to drink successfully when you do drink. I was once a heavy drinker. I realized it was going beyond my control so I cut down to drinking no more than twice a month and not getting drunk then. But a chance came along and I wound up getting drunk two nights in a row. I was within my senses and safe where it happened so no problem really- except that it was then that I realized that the two previous nights I'd been drinking to escape reality which I knew doesn't work. I was an alcoholic, even at two drinks a month, because I didn't have full control of it. I haven't had even a sip since then and I never will. It will not control me ever again. So yes, your brother is an alcoholic. And you're an enabler. I don't say this to hurt you but only to get you to see that your love and concern for him isn't letting you see and understand what the rest of us here who are not so close can see more plainly. If you don't handle the situation accordingly you're leading yourself and him into failure. Compassion and forgiveness are good things, but sometimes they are the wrong response, and with alcoholics and other addicts they simply enable them to continue on the wrong path longer. Save those things for them until they quit, and then they will become good responses again. In the meantime, understand that he's not in control of himself- alcohol is. And he will once again over-do it when he gets the chance. Along with that will come the results you've seen before- the one's you've shared with us here and said you didn't like. Don't believe me, do as I asked and speak to a sponsor at AA. Speak to several of them. They've seen it too, more than I have. They will verify every thing I've said. I'm asking that you do this so that you can give your brother the chance he needs to get his life sorted out and to bring an end to the issues you're experiencing because of him. The answer you need isn't always the answer you want, and sometimes the answer that hurts is the right answer. Avoiding it doesn't change that. Bettypooh

I've had experiences but I don't like to use the word "paranormal" because it's become a synonym for "wacko" with many people. There is most definitely a world of spiritual power which can be observed, accessed, and used in our limited-dimension life here today, but one must be careful in what one does there because it's more powerful than we are. Just like our world here, not everything in it is good for us. My former roommate who wasn't familiar with this area was driving home from his overnight shift late one night. He saw a man standing by the lonely stretch of road, stopped, picked him up, asked him where he was going, then passed the wine bottle over to him. The man took a good drink, handed the bottle back, then disappeared. When my friend told me the next day I explained that this wasn't an uncommon thing at that bend in the road and that many people had seen the man or given him a ride with the same results including me. My friend knew I wasn't BS'ing him because he didn't say where the place was- I told him where it was on my own. I knew because I'd seen the man there twice myself and learned later what it was about. Different tales about how he ended up there, but this still happens to people occasionally and always at that same spot. Just one of my experiences, there are plenty more some of which you'd likely not believe. Bettypooh