DaycareDaddyEdm

Just another update for you all. The marriage is over. In April 2018 he was arrested for possession of child pornography. His lifestyle has progressed so much in such a small amount of time and I respect myself too much to just go along with things and try to make the best of it. Maybe when he's out of jail in 5 years we can try to talk but I doubt he or I will be the same person in 5 years.

Hey all. I just thought I'd chime in with a bit of an update. The last time I posted, things weren't going well and I was sure that my marriage was over. The Reader's Digest version of our progress is that hubby has said he will seek help to deal with his underlying anger issues towards his bio-Dad. I'll consider it a step if he actually attends an appointment. We've addressed what his 24/7 transformation would look like and what I'm willing to do and what has to wait. I've found a way to incentivise things around the house to include 'little time' as a reward, and it's been working nicely. Thank you so much for all your feedback. It helped for him to hear others in the community advising me that I may need to leave. It shook something inside him I think. I'll update more in a while and see if things slide back or if we progress more.

Oh where to begin.. My husband is 13 years my junior (24/37)and we have been married for 2 years, together for 5. After being married for a year, he came out to me as an AB/DL. Since then it seems like his sexual appetite has doubled. I've taken to the web to learn more about what he is going through and have had many successes with him. We do all sorts of little activities that wouldn't be necessary if it were two adults doing the same task. I've been gamifying nearly everything from pats on the head for remembering to wash hands before dinner all the way to disciplining him when he's being bad.(I have issues with physical abuse so this was a hard one for me to get over. Now I kind of enjoy it a little bit.) He wants to kick it up a notch and spend sometimes an hour or more, sometimes three hours with me indulging his 'litte side'. So this is where I start to get upset. I've just spent all day gamifying every little experience for you, I'm already worried that I'm not doing a good enough job, but when I am tired and just want to lie in bed... I don't want to have to spend 2-3 hours of buildup. We've been up all evening gaming and watching TV, so now that I want to sleep you all of a sudden want to have play time. Where was all this energy hours ago when we were awake? Anyhoo, he's talking about making a 24/7 transformation to living the AB/DL lifestyle. I'm absolutely fine with that as I used to working a daycare - I can handle this. So when it comes time for dinner time, I'll ask him if he's washed his hands. He'll say no, so we'll go into our routine little-moment, and when it escalates to me taking a stand and saying he can't have dinner unless he washes his hands... he gets upset with me and tells me he's not in the mood right now or, I'm not in that mindset right now. So then we don't talk all night. The next morning I usually wake up to him all sad and depressed. We go on a pity trip about how sorry he is and how he can't even look at me because all he sees is pain and damage and he hates that he's causing it. Yah, yah, yah.. talk is cheap, I say. If you really care then you'll work on treating me better. He says he'll do better and it doesn't get better. He spends hours online on his Instagram and Tumblr (I feel invisible during this time) telling all his followers about how happy he is and what a fantastic life he has. His followers tell him how lucky he is to have me, but when we're not seeing eye to eye on diapers as it pertains to sex... he tells me that he wishes he had someone who could understand it on his level. He threatens to leave and Everytime he does, I feel broken and a failure as a caregiver and as a husband. I love him dearly and would never leave him or judge him for this lifestyle but Everytime he threatens to leave, it makes me less and less sad. Any thoughts you guys have would be amazing. Side notes to consider: I struggle with anxiety and my meds make it very difficult to get/keep an erection. Usually getting me off requires a solid 15-20 minutes of focus. During these times, either his phone is going off, he's readjusting his diaper, or he's sighing because of the discomfort his leg/arm/whatever is positioned. My anxiety will get ahold of that and 10 seconds later I'm flaccid again and hubby is angry and feeling like a failure about how bad of a partner he is. And another pity trip starts again.