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WBDaddy

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WBDaddy last won the day on October 14 2025

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    39 and SHUT UP ABOUT MY GRAYS!

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  1. WBDaddy
    I mean, NGL, I think she's a bit one-dimensional, until I remember that she has a motivation here, that this is a meal ticket for her, being a nanny to a 17-year-old "baby", so letting him be who he is in the moment is no bueno to her. If she is constantly cosseting and helicoptering, and he responds to that, she figures they'll give her more and more hours until she literally doesn't have to work anywhere else. And I've known many people who were so unscrupulous that they'd strip someone of their dignity and agency at the drop of a hat if it meant they were getting theirs.
  2. WBDaddy
    This totally feels like a parody of me. I have contemplated the fact that Amber is engaged to a known asshole, and it does make me wonder if there isn't a breakup in the future...
  3. WBDaddy
    Love this finish.
  4. WBDaddy
    I love this drawn-out setup, and to be honest, I'm totally rooting for it all to be turned on its head, not because I have anything against the protagonist, but because I can't imagine a writer going through this much effort to build anticipation without there being a monkey wrench being thrown into the payoff.
  5. WBDaddy
    Is it bad that I'm more nervous about the last thing Amber said than I'm sentimental about anything else that happened? And that I'm rooting for Savannah to step in and help him find a balance between these two sides that actually works? Glad other people are seeing what I saw before the first time she met Paul. Ambition with greed, not care with dignity.
  6. WBDaddy
    No shade. This is why I've started dividing up the visceral reaction and the critical feedback, so there's no confusion which is which. And note no mention of the baby talk in my critical feedback
  7. WBDaddy
    I hate, hate, hate the direction this is going, and I hate how Harley is a primary driver of that direction, and I hate how Bryan and Lilly are just dancing along behind the snake charmer, way too excited that she's basically manipulating him and them, because it still means that it's not all on them to "manage" him, that they have some sort of release valve, regardless of the cost to Paul's dignity, which she stomped all over with impunity when she walked in. I hate Paul suddenly talking like a caricature of a three-year-old (because seriously, I raised a kid from birth, and at no point did he utter a sentence that involved "me" as the subject, nor did he ever refer to himself in third person), and I hate that no one at all (except Amber?) has any clue what's happening here. *big inhale and exhale* Brilliant, as usual, writing. I have no criticisms to offer. As usual, the above was just my visceral reaction to what is happening in the actual story. Addendum: I hope Amber might be the glimmer of hope here. The big slap of reality that wakes Bryan and Lilly and Paul out of the stupor that Harley has lulled them into, that it's not acceptable for someone to drag him into littlespace every time she interacts with him, that it really does need to be his choice, not him going along because he's conflict-avoidant, that his adult self needs to have the space to assert itself, EVEN WHEN Harley is there, lest it become completely lost.
  8. WBDaddy
    But pureed Brussel sprouts? That's a funk I wouldn't wish on anyone!
  9. WBDaddy
    Harsh, man.
  10. WBDaddy
    Tried to DM you about this, but... oh well.
  11. WBDaddy
    If you've ever had a rum runner, you've had banana liqueur, which means you've had the "lightweight" version of waragi. It really is like strong rum with a vague banana flavor in the back somewhere.
  12. WBDaddy
    2nd person is a valid writing perspective, where "you" are the subject. Problem is, that is LITERALLY the most jarring of all accidental perspective changes, from 2nd to 1st.
  13. WBDaddy
    Did I mention my favorite writers around here are the ones who can take a little ribbing?
  14. WBDaddy
    Hanging more meat onto the myriad characters that are Joomi's family. Sunlight and shadow alike. Well done. Honestly, my eyes crossed when we went through the technical stuff in the previous chapter - I thought we'd teleported into a BabySofia story for a moment there. (Love BabySofia to death, but she sure does dive into the tech and gadgets and stuff a LOT)
  15. WBDaddy
    I wrote one about 30 years ago - literally a prompt, I was really into ee cummings at the time, and one of my friends said "Write me a poem about a spirit of winter" If it's okay with you, I'd love to share it. It wound up being lyrics to a song I recorded about... 22 years later.
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