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Went to a three day rock concert this past weekend and now i'm even worse than before. Anxiety is up, disappointment in people and I just want to quit fighting it all. Why get better if everyone else stays the same? The world isn't going to change so why should I have to put up with it in a "healthy way". Maybe I'm just too sensitive but knowing how rude and mean this world is just has me down. I cut again, haven't done it in a couple months. Even TWLOHA was there. Even bought a shirt, but now... My therapist told me it's only temporary but now I don't even want to climb out of this. It's safer here. How can I be doing so well and just fall apart so fast? It's scary that i'm comfortable here. I down played how I really felt today at my appointment. I don't want to be back in the hospital. I think it may be that I'm off one of my meds due to me once again forgetting to order them. Even Daddy isn't helping. His birthday is tomorrow and i'm trying to hide this from him too. I just feel drained by everyone around me. I'm not getting whatever it is i'm supposed to get and i'm sick of searching for it. Is this normal in recovery?

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I feel you, so much especially the "why get better, if everyone else stays the same" & "The world isn't going to change so why should I have to put up with it in a healthy way" parts. I'm at the exact same points right now, although maybe not for the same reasons. Just letting you know that you're not alone *hugs*

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Or more importantly just stay away from the stuff that depresses you. If going to a concert does this to you then obviously concerts aren't good for you.

Personally I hate stupid people. They are all around, on the TV, in the paper, at stores, etc, etc. I've learned to mostly just stay away from it. This has turned me into somewhat of a shut in, but I'm happier for it.

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I'm not dismissing your whole depression like some others might, having had depression on and off for a decade, but there is a phenomenon called "Post-Festival Blues" or something like that that I have heard about before. It is where you get psyched up for an event and then when the event is over your mood drops down to worse than it had been before for a while. So the reason you feel worse right now may have something to do with that.

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I'm not dismissing your whole depression like some others might, having had depression on and off for a decade, but there is a phenomenon called "Post-Festival Blues" or something like that that I have heard about before. It is where you get psyched up for an event and then when the event is over your mood drops down to worse than it had been before for a while. So the reason you feel worse right now may have something to do with that.

Quite the opposite of what Brian said, it isn't the concerts that depress you, it is that when they are over you look into the future and see it isn't there to look forward to anymore. Festivals, especially multi-day ones can be incredibly exhausting on the body and the mind. It isn't uncommon to need time for recovery.

Again, I'm not writing off your whole depression, but as someone who has experienced this post-festival stuff as well, it can make things worse.

It isn't uncommon to get comfortable in depression, you start avoiding things that would cause you problems and gradually your World shrinks to just things you can rely on. It gets easy to stay at home and watch netflix all day or play video games all day. You are avoiding and ignoring all the stresses you can find and it is hard to face back up to them. Depression is a mental disorder, but it then can become a habit... One that is very hard to break because it means going out and risking doing things that could make you worse or at the minimum make you uncomfortable.

That is the role anti-depressants are meant to have, they don't cure depression but they can lift it off you just enough to break the habits that feed the depression. It is good you are seeing someone about it, it means you can learn to break the habits, both physically and mentally. The fact you are off the meds right now is probably also contributing to how you are feeling, without them the weight of depression gets heavier again and makes everything else much harder.

Hopefully you get some of your medication soon, in the meantime, don't hesitate to tell people how you feel. People that care about you would rather you tell them so they can try to help rather than suffer in silence.

That's an interesting phenomenon, and it fits in exactly with what I said. Yeah, if going to a concert is actually know to bring you down afterwards then it really is best to a). Stay at the concert forever, or B). Don't go to them in the first place.

I do also agree that as long as someone is prone to becoming depressed then they really should be taking those meds. Many people eventually change in time and no longer require those meds (body chemistry, surroundings and environment, etc). This could be the OP eventually, but till then I agree he need them.

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Yeah, but if you stop going to things and doing things you enjoy then you are only making things worse for yourself overall.

I like to go to football matches, sometimes after a loss or at the end of the season I feel a bit down about things but if I never went in the first place I would be cutting out something I really enjoy just because it may make me feel worse for a bit afterwards, and I stress that feeling down after these things is only temporary. You are cutting out things you enjoy and memories that you will cherish on the chance it will make you feel bad for a week or so afterwards.

This is exactly the thing depressed people should not do. Depression wants you to stop doing the things you enjoy and going out and having fun. It is so easy to stay at home when depressed and do nothing all day everyday like I said in my first post. But that only feeds the depression as you get comfortable with it and it becomes harder and harder to do anything you enjoy or that involves effort and your World shrinks more and more as people will stop bothering to try and get you to go to things since they know you will decline. You end up isolated and feeling increasingly worse, I know this from experience.

If you stop doing things you like because of depression you give it victories that allow it to grow and stop you doing other things and it snowballs.

The whole "Post-festival blues" phenomenon isn't just for depressed people it affects a lot of people and although I say it for festivals it applies to any major events, things like coming back from holiday can trigger it, basically anything you look forward to can cause the blues when it is just over. It is probably exacerbated by depression but it is by no means a requirement.

Don't get me wrong here. I never said don't go do things that make you happy. I am saying don't go do things that are going to make you un-happy.

As an example: I personally don't like being around stupid people, but do enjoy going to the movies from time to time. I've since learned not to go on opening weekends or in the evening. I can still enjoy a Sunday show before noon though.

Sometimes all it takes is careful planning to ensure doing the things you like aren't also going to bring you down even more- and thereby making things worse overall. Other times, you really do have to stop and ask your self if overall it's even worth it to you. Sometimes it's just not, and that's when you avoid it in the first place.

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Don't get me wrong here. I never said don't go do things that make you happy. I am saying don't go do things that are going to make you un-happy.

As an example: I personally don't like being around stupid people, but do enjoy going to the movies from time to time. I've since learned not to go on opening weekends or in the evening. I can still enjoy a Sunday show before noon though.

Sometimes all it takes is careful planning to ensure doing the things you like aren't also going to bring you down even more- and thereby making things worse overall. Other times, you really do have to stop and ask your self if overall it's even worth it to you. Sometimes it's just not, and that's when you avoid it in the first place.

I never really thought about it before now, but I think that is the reason my wife and I go to the movies on weekends to the earliest showing.

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Even though clinical depression is a physical disease, it does have mental aspects to it and you can (and should) address those parts where you can. Meds don't help you with that part but therapy can ;) It might give you enough 'tools' so that you can drop the Meds- that's how it went with me.

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  • 2 weeks later...

You might try to do something that gives closure to the event too. I know a friend who goes to cons a lot. She would get crippling depression after each event. She ended up doing a personal scrapbook and doing a costume journal for each event. Each one she winds down by having a tea with friends and doing her journals so it gives her time to process the emotions after those events. I hope you find yourself in a better light soon hon.

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