The Flower Girl

[MellowSadistic]

Part 1

Grace is getting married and she’s determined not to let Jessica, her husband-to-be’s ex, ruin the wedding. But if this is her big day, why is she being dressed as the flower girl?

***

Grace was walking around the reception, greeting her guests, when she spotted her out of the corner of her eye. Jessica. Grace had invited her out of politeness, but she’d really hoped the woman wouldn’t come. What was she thinking, turning up here? Surely she’d known Grace hadn’t really wanted her to be at her wedding!

She was talking with Sophie, one of Grace’s old schoolfriends, and Sophie seemed to be listening raptly to whatever it was she was saying.

Grace continued to wander around, accepting congratulations and beaming at everyone, tossing her beautiful blonde hair behind her and feeling like the prettiest woman in the room. Eventually she reached Sophie herself.

“Hi, Sophie!” she said. “I’m so glad you could make it!”

“Hi sweetie!” Sophie said, turning to look at her. She spoke in an oddly high-pitched, overly-enthusiastic voice, like she was talking to a nursery-schooler. “Are you looking forward to the ceremony?”

Grace didn’t know what to say. She’d been expecting Sophie to say ‘congratulations’. Why the hell was she talking in such a stupid way? “Uh, yes!” she managed, deciding it was best to just ignore her friend’s odd behaviour. “I’ve been waiting for this for so long! I hope it’s everything I imagined!”

“Awww!” Sophie cooed. Grace felt herself going red. Was Sophie mocking her? “That’s so cute! Are you going to wear a pretty dress, honey?”

“Uh, yes of course. I… In fact, I’d better go and get dressed now. It takes a while and I need my bridesmaids to help.”

“Of course you do,” Sophie said patronisingly.

“Well… See you later, Sophie!”

“Bye-bye, cutie!” Sophie waved.

Grace turned and walked away. What was that about?! She frowned, thinking. Jessica had been talking to Sophie not long ago. Could she have convinced Sophie to talk to her like that for some reason? Grace hoped the most special day of her life wasn’t going to be tainted by some stupid practical joke. But she couldn’t imagine Sophie taking part of something like that. Sophie had never even liked Jessica!

It was probably just nerves, Grace told herself, trying to push the matter from her mind. She needed to get her bridesmaids and go into the back to change into her wedding dress. She felt excitement bubbling up inside her. She’d never really stopped fantasising about the perfect wedding, ever since she was a little girl, and now she was finally getting it! And Rob was the most wonderful man she’d ever met. She flushed at the thought of her gorgeous husband-to-be. She wouldn’t see him until she walked down the aisle though. She wanted everything to be perfect.

“Good luck, Gracie!” someone said to her as she made her way through the crowd, and she smiled awkwardly back in the general direction of the voice. She hated being called Gracie – she wasn’t a two-year-old for goodness sake! But nothing was going to ruin her good mood today. She was determined of that.

She slipped past a group of guests and found the people she was looking for; Olivia, Caroline, and Annie. Her three bridesmaids. At least the three of them were acting normally. They hurried up to her the moment they saw her, looking almost as excited as she felt.

They put their heads together, giggling.

“Ready?” asked Olivia, grinning.

Grace grinned back and nodded.

The four of them moved through the guests and into a room in the back of the venue where Grace could get changed. Her wedding dress was hanging on a clothes rack waiting for her. She beamed at it. It was beautiful – pure white, of course, with a floral-patterned bodice and a flowing, floor-length skirt. Elegant and sophisticated, sexy but still classy. The perfect dress.

Grace would barely contain her excitement as Olivia, Caroline, and Annie helped her change into it. She couldn’t take her eyes off the mirror in front of her as she was steadily transformed into the bride she’d dreamed about being ever since she was a little girl.

She was almost done when Caroline suddenly said “Oh!”

“What?” Grace asked, worried something had gone wrong.

“Your veil! I think your mother has it. Or maybe it’s still in the car…”

“Don’t panic,” Olivia soothed, seeing Grace’s face. “The three of us will go and look for it. I’m sure it’s around. We’ll be right back.”

Her bridesmaids left the room, leaving Grace alone. But a few moments later, the door opened, and Jessica stepped inside.

“Hi sweetie!” she said, with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

“Hello Jessica,” said Grace, looking at her warily.

“Don’t you look pretty!” Jessica cooed, but her eyes were sparkling malevolently. “Looking forward to walking down the aisle?”

“Listen Jessica,” said Grace firmly, “whatever it is you’re here for, whatever you’ve got planned…”

“Planned?” asked Jessica, cocking her head.

“I just don’t want you ruining things by trying to make this all about you,” Grace said coldly. “This is a very special day for me.”

“Of course it is, Gracie,” Jessica said. Her smile widened. “The wedding couldn’t happen without you!” She let out a light, tinkling laugh, and then she turned and left the room.

Grace scowled. Gracie again. And she didn’t like the way Jessica had been smiling. Did she really not have anything planned? They’d been friends once, but Grace had got together with Rob shortly after he’d broken up with Jessica, and Jessica hadn’t liked that one bit. Grace remembered Jessica screaming at her, calling her a big-titted whore who’d stolen her boyfriend.

Grace adjusted her large breasts in her wedding dress. It was true she had a better figure than Jessica, but she hardly thought that mattered. She and Rob had been meant for each other, and that was all there was to it.

What else was it that Jessica had said to her? Stupid little girls shouldn’t steal other people’s things, that was it. Grace smirked. Rob was hers now anyway. They were getting married and there was nothing Jessica could do about it. She’d only been invited in the first place because it would have seemed rude not to invite her after Grace had invited all her other old friends – it would make it seem like she was the one still carrying a grudge.

Grace shook her head. What was she doing? She shouldn’t even be thinking about Jessica right now. Not on her big day! She admired herself in the mirror, picturing how she’d look walking smoothly down the aisle on the best day of her life.

Minutes past, and her bridesmaids still hadn’t returned. But just when Grace was starting to get worried, the door opened again. She look around eagerly as Olivia and Caroline stepped into the room, but her smile faltered when they were closely followed not by Annie, but by Jessica. She was holding something white and semi-transparent in her arms. Was that stupid bitch carrying her veil?! Hadn’t she got the message that she wasn’t wanted?

But as Jessica stepped forward, Grace realised the thing she was holding wasn’t a veil at all. It was a dress. A very different dress from the beautiful, elegant, sophisticated wedding dress she was currently wearing.

“What’s going on?” asked Grace. She’d just noticed that her two bridesmaids were looking at her rather strangely. They were both smiling, but Olivia was shaking her head from side to side, like a kindergarten teacher amused by the antics of a misbehaving toddler, and Caroline was looking at her with the same sort of sickeningly sweet eagerness that Grace had seen earlier on Sophie’s face. “What are you…?”

“Come on, sweetie,” Jessica interrupted, and her eyes were glinting darkly. “It’s time to get you into your proper clothes. That’s enough playing pretend. I need my wedding dress for my big day.” She smiled broadly. “But don’t worry. I’ve found something much more appropriate for you to wear!”

[Apache Raccoon]

Good start

Can't wait for the next chapter

[Tracey]

This is going to be good… 

[littlebopeeper]

Very promising, with a great hook at chapter's end.  I hope that the poor girl is just having a bad dream.

[Tracey]

8 hours ago, littlebopeeper said:

Very promising, with a great hook at chapter's end

Its a great plot device, husband to be hooks with with his old flame, they have it all planned out, at his wedding she shows up, claims him as her husband and the petite woman he was going to marry becomes their toddler daughter and flower-girl instead… of course all little flower-girls need to be diapers in case there is a wee accident along the way.

[BabyGirlieJess]

Oooh yes! Can’t wait for more. 

[MellowSadistic]

Thank you all for the comments! I hope the rest of the story lives up to your expectations.

***

Part 2

As Grace stared at Jessica, angry and confused, she felt a wave of dizziness wash over her.

“What are you doing?” she mumbled. “What’s going…”

But Jessica’s presence suddenly seemed magnified tenfold. It was as if Grace was looking up at someone much bigger than her, even though she and Jessica were the same height. There was a strange tingling in her brain, a rush of sudden vertigo. She imagined she might fall over, right onto her bottom. She giggled. That would be silly! She shook her head vigorously from side to side, trying to clear it.

“Not your… Not your big day,” said Grace, frowning. “I’m the bride.”

Jessica let out another one of her tinkling laughs. “Silly baby, you’re not the bride! Rob can’t get married to a silly little girl like you. This is my wedding, but I’m being very generous and letting you be the flower girl. Aren’t you lucky?”

Grace felt her head nodding enthusiastically. “Fank you!” she heard herself lisp. What the hell was happening?! The flower girl? Her head was clearing, but it felt as though she couldn’t control herself, like she was nothing but a passenger in her own body!

“Look what I got for you to wear, sweetie,” said Jessica, and she held up the dress she’d been carrying.

It was silly, frilly, and very small. The sleeves were puffy, the short skirt looked more like a tutu than anything else, and it had a large bow on the back.

Grace felt sick at the sight of it. No self-respecting woman would ever wear something so childish, something clearly meant for the youngest of children. But her body seemed to think differently. She heard herself gasp with excitement, and she thrust out her arms and made grabby hands at the ridiculous thing.

“Awww!” Olivia and Caroline cooed.

What was going on?! What was happening to her?! Her head was fully clear now, but Grace’s body still was completely out of her control. Why were Olivia and Caroline acting like nothing was wrong?!

“Alright, Gracie,” Jessica laughed. “Let’s get you changed. Olivia, Caroline, could you help her out of my dress?”

The two women hurried forwards and got to work. Grace could only stand there obediently, smiling vapidly and crying on the inside while her bridesmaids worked together to strip off various pieces of her attire and lift the beautiful dress back up over her head, leaving her in nothing but her underwear – and she didn’t get to keep those for long either.

“I can’t believe we ever thought you were an adult,” Olivia said, unclasping Grace’s bra and letting her large breasts spill out. She tittered at the sight of Grace’s tits wobbling on her chest. “Isn’t it funny how such a silly little girl has such big boobies? These massive knockers must have been how you tricked Rob into thinking you were a grown-up.”

To Grace’s horror, she started giggling and jumping up and down on the spot, making her bare boobs jiggle about madly.

Everyone laughed at her, and Olivia said, “I thought so! You’re just a naughty little brat, aren’t you sweetie? Just like Jessica said. I’m so glad you’ve come to your senses, Gracie. Jessica is clearly the one who’s meant to marry Rob, not you.”

Olivia would never say those kind of things to her! Grace was sure of that. Jessica must have done something to her, and Caroline as well!

Once Grace was standing in nothing but her undies, Olivia went over to Jessica with her wedding dress and started to help her change into it. Meanwhile, Caroline took the flower girl dress and held it up again for Grace to see.

“You’re going to look just like a princess, Gracie!” she said brightly.

Just like before, Grace couldn’t take her eyes off the mirror in front of her. But this time, her transformation was very different. Caroline slipped the tiny little flower girl dress over Grace’s head and started making adjustments to it, brushing down the skirts and squeezing Grace’s tits into the bodice.

Grace winced. It was so tight across the chest that it was painful. Her breasts bulged out obscenely through the fabric, and the puffy, frilly, tutu-like skirt barely reached past her bottom.

“There we go!” Caroline said. “Don’t you look pretty?”

Grace looked at herself in the mirror. She wanted to rip the ridiculous dress off her body and scream at everyone until someone told her what the fuck was going on. She wanted to smack Jessica hard across the face and throw her out of the venue. Instead she smiled stupidly. “Uh-hu!”

“Don’t forget to do her hair,” Jessica smirked, and Caroline nodded.

Grace could only stand there with a dumb grin on her face while her bridesmaid tied her sleek blonde hair into ridiculous pigtails sticking out from either side of her head.

There was a knock on the door and Annie, her third bridesmaid, finally came back into the room.

“Hi girls!” she said.

Grace prayed that maybe, this time, someone was going to come to her rescue. But then she saw that Annie was carrying something. Something large and white and rectangular.

When she realised what it was, Grace felt as though her heart had dropped into her stomach. Even the stupid little girl in charge of her body didn’t like it.

“Don’t need dat!” she heard herself whine as Annie came towards her, unfolding the crinkly, adult-sized disposable diaper as she went.

“Oh yes you do!” said Jessica loudly, and Grace looked over at her, her bottom lip trembling. “Toilets are a thing of the past for you, Gracie,” she said, a malicious look in her eyes. “Stupid little girls like you go potty in their pants, and that means you need a nappy on.”

Annie lifted up Grace’s flower girl dress, slipped a finger into the waistband of her underwear, and started sliding them down.

Grace looked on in horror, a stupid little pout still on her face, as her lacy white lingerie, a sexy surprise for Rob on their wedding night, was tugged down her legs. No, she thought, watching as Annie tossed them aside, come back!

But Annie was already slipping the bulky diaper between Grace’s legs, holding it up while she taped it into place. Grace could feel the soft, thirsty padding pressing against her pussy, ready to soak up all the pee-pee accidents she might have. This couldn’t be happening to her!

“There we go!” Annie cooed. “This suits you much better than that little lacy number. Your undies need to be designed in terms of how many potty accidents they can hold, not sex appeal.”

Once Grace’s nappy was on, Caroline stepped forwards again and, in case there was any doubt about Grace’s new position, placed a flower crown on top of her head.

“There’s just one more thing she needs,” Jessica said, walking over to her old clothes and fishing in the pockets. “Here we go!” She came back over and shoved a bright pink pacifier into Grace’s mouth, where it immediately started bobbing between her lips. “Perfect,” Jessica purred, drinking in Grace’s appearance like she couldn’t get enough of it. “We’ll be ready to go very soon.”

While her bridesmaids made the finishing touches to Jessica’s outfit, Grace toddled around impatiently, her thick diaper rustling noisily between her legs.

Then, without warning, she felt a sudden pressure in her bladder. She clutched her hands to her crotch, but the urge to go had become uncontrollable almost the moment it had appeared. Grace felt pee rushing into her pants, drenching the thick padding between her legs. The front of her Pampers discoloured, sagging until the yellow-tinged padding peaked out below the hem of her dress.

“Uh-oh,” she said softly, wrinkling her nose as the sharp smell of piss reached it. Inside her head, Grace was shrieking in horror. She wanted to throw up. She’d never been so disgusted in her life! It was awful, the feeling of her pee sloshing around in her pants, the sopping wet padding pressed against her nether regions. Someone had to save her! They had to!

At last, Jessica was done. She smirked down at Grace in her ridiculous little flower girl dress, dummy in her mouth, her hair in ludicrous pigtails. “I think someone had better check the baby’s nappy,” she said.

Caroline stepped forward, lifted up Grace’s dress, and probed the front of her diaper.

“She’s done a wee-wee,” Caroline announced. “Should I change her?”

“Is she about to leak?” asked Jessica.

“No, I think it can take a bit more,” Caroline replied, as Grace fidgeted in place like an impatient little girl, praying desperately that her bridesmaids would come to their senses, that someone would rescue her.

“Leave her for now,” Jessica instructed, a note of delight just detectable in her voice. “We don’t want to waste nappies.”

“You’re in charge,” said Caroline, and she actually did a little curtsey.

“That’s right,” said Jessica, her smile widening. “I am. It’s my big day, after all.”

[aldl4811]

Interesting read. It’s all happening fast though and curious how 

[stinky bum Sam]

Update

[diaperedcoach]

What an absolute delight, the update was great.  Good job 

[MellowSadistic]

Part 3

“You remember what to do, don’t you, Gracie?” Olivia asked, handing her a basket full of flower petals.

“Uh-hu!” Grace mumbled around her pacifier, nodding eagerly. No! She couldn’t walk down the aisle like this! She was supposed to be getting married! This was supposed to be the best day of her life!

“Good girl,” said Olivia, giving her a gentle push.

Grace toddled awkwardly, her legs pushed apart by the thickness of her soggy diaper. She waddled into the entranceway and stood there with the aisle ahead of her. Heads turned in her direction, smiles slipped from faces, and people started whispering to each other.

She saw Rob standing at the altar, her gorgeous husband-to-be, staring at her with a stunned expression on his face – his beautiful bride was dressed as an overgrown flower girl, her sexy body crammed into a ridiculous little girl’s dress, her elegant hair in pigtails, a dummy in her mouth, the hint of a nappy flashing about her waist.

Grace’s mother hurried over to her. “What’s going on?” she whispered, taking in the sight of Grace’s braless tits crammed into the blouse of the dress, and the flower crown in her hair. “What are you doing? Why aren’t you in your wedding dress?” Then her nose twitched as she smelled her adult daughter’s wet diaper. “Grace…” she said in shock, looking down at her daughter’s crotch, seeing the hint of discoloured padding peeking out below the hem of her poofy dress. “Have you wet yourself?”

“Jessica’s wearing my wedding dwess!” Grace chirped, her words slightly muffled by her pacifier. “It wooks so much better on her dan it does on a stupid, big-titted baby wike me. I’m just da flower giwl!”

Grace was cringing inside, but at least her mother knew that something was wrong. She took her daughter’s hand looking deeply concerned, making as if to usher Grace back out of the door, but at that moment there was movement behind them, and she looked up. Immediately, her horrified expression relaxed into a smile. No. Grace looked around as well and saw Jessica standing there in her wedding dress, smirking at her. No! Not her mother too! How was Jessica doing this?! Someone had to help her!

But nobody did. Her mother turned her back around and patted her on her soggy diapered bum. “Go on, sweetie,” she coaxed. “You know what to do. Being the flower girl is a very important job!”

Grace started toddling down the aisle, the sagging seat of her nappy flashing beneath the short hem of her flower girl dress with every step she took. She willed herself to stop, concentrated as hard as she could on taking back control of her body, but it was useless. She reached into the basket she was carrying and tossed a handful of flowers into the air, giggling delightedly.

Everyone was looking at her very differently now, smiling broadly and making cutesy faces at her.

Then, quite suddenly, she stopped. For a moment, Grace thought that she’d got control of her body back, but then, with a thrill of horror, she realised that there was a growing pressure in her bowels. Oh God, she thought. Not that. Please, anything but that!

Grace’s face went red. She clenched her fists and bent her knees. Then, on what was supposed to be the most special day of her life, in front of all her family and friends, in front of the man she was supposed to marry and the woman who was stealing him from her, Gracie let out a loud grunt and started making a big, stinky mess in her diaper.

There was a chorus of ‘awwws’ and some tittering laughter in the crowd.

Grace was screaming inside her head, but on the outside she just hitched a big smile back onto her face as she stood up straight again when she was done. With her pants now full of poop, she continued stomping up at aisle, tossing out flowers, her loaded nappy now drooping well below the hem of her dress, swinging pendulously between her thighs for all to see.

Grace felt like she was going mad. The shame was too much. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be how she walked down the aisle! It had to be some sort of nightmare! She looked up at Rob, her last hope, but his eyes were fixed over her head. He was staring at Jessica with adoration in his eyes. No!

Once she got close to the altar, Caroline and Annie moved forwards to take her by the hands and guide her off to the side with them, where she stood for the recent of the ceremony, fidgeting with her dress. She wasn’t even watching when Jessica and Rob said their vows and kissed. She was too busy looking down at her diaper, shaking her bottom and watching her loaded Pampers jiggling about between her legs.

Not long afterwards, she was led over to a corner for a nappy change. Her three bridesmaids did it – the people who should have been her bridesmaids. Annie tickled her tummy, Caroline pulled silly faces at her, and Olivia worked away at her messy bottom with a pack of wet wipes. Grace wished she could be swallowed up by the ground and disappear forever, or better yet wake up to find this had all been a horrible dream, but all she could do was giggle and gurgle while her three best friends changed her stinky diaper.

Once she was clean and dry, a fresh pair of Pampers hugging her bottom, she was led over to Jessica.

“There you are, sweetie!” she cooed, her eyes glinting again. “What a good girl you were! I know you had a little whoopsie-daisy poo-poo accident in your nappy in the middle of the aisle, but that’s only to be expected of a big baby like you.”

Grace had never hated anyone more in her whole life.

“And I know you must be a bit upset about not getting to marry Rob,” Jessica continued, “but I have a surprise for you! Rob and I are going to adopt you as our little girl! Isn’t that nice?”

Grace felt like her insides had turned to ice. Adopted? How long was this going to go on for?! But she started jumping up and down on the spot in excitement. “Yay! Yay! Yay! You’re gonna be my Mama and Dada!”

“That’s right, little one!” she cooed. “I’m going to take such good care of you.”

“Maybe you’ll even be able to get married yourself one day,” one of the women surrounding them said to Grace.

Jessica laughed. “Oh no, I don’t think marriage is going to be in Gracie’s future. She’s far too immature for that. I’m going to keep her away from boys.”

“But Mama!” Grace whined. “I wanna get married!”

Quite suddenly, in full view of everyone, Jessica lifted up the back of Grace’s dress and delivered several sharp swats to her behind, aiming for what little of her bottom wasn’t covered by her thick disposable diaper.

“Owwwwie!” Grace cried, tears filling her eyes. Her bottom was stinging painfully. She seethed on the inside. If she still had control of her body, she swore she’d rip and claw at Jessica until she was nothing but ribbons.

“Bad baby!” Jessica scolded, and Grace felt her lower lip beginning to tremble. “No boys for you, little girl. You’ve proved you’re too immature for dating, let alone marriage.”

Tears ran down Grace’s cheeks. “Sowwy, Mama!” she sobbed.

“Suck your thumb, baby,” Jessica ordered, and Grace’s thumb immediately flew to her lips. She shoved the digit into her mouth and started sucking on it wetly. A line of drool spilled from her mouth and down her chin.

“Good girl,” said Jessica.

“I see you’ve got her in hand,” Grace’s mother chuckled. She’d just walked over to join them. “I never spanked little Gracie myself, but maybe that was a mistake.”

“Oh yes, I think so,” said Jessica. “A naughty little girl like her needs plenty of strict discipline. She’ll be under my thumb for a very, very long time.”

Everyone nodded their heads approvingly, and Grace’s mother said, “I’m so glad you helped us all understand that my daughter is really just an overgrown toddler. Just imagine the thought of this little stinker getting married to Rob!”

Everyone laughed.

“Are you planning to let her grow up again?” one of Grace’s cousins asked.

“Oh no, she’s perfect just the way she is,” said Jessica, and even though she was smiling pleasantly, there was a malicious glint in her eyes as she looked at Grace. “It’s a lifetime of early bedtimes, smacked bottoms, and smelly nappies for my little Gracie.”

Grace sucked her thumb noisily. A lifetime?! Was Jessica planning to keep her like this forever?! She felt herself start peeing again. The thirsty padding between her thighs soaked up her wee-wee, and her diaper began to droop.

“Rob and I had better be going,” Jessica said. “We have a lovely honeymoon to look forward to.” She turned to look down at Grace. “But don’t worry, little girl.” She grinned horribly. “Mama will be back to play with you again very soon.”

[diaper24/7]

This very good i hope add more to this.

[littlebopeeper]

Still doesn't make much sense.  Is the minister conducting the ceremony also in on it?  The clerk at the marriage license bureau?  What happened at the rehearsals?  The bridal shower?  No wedding dinner?  In whose names are the airline tickets if bride and groom are flying off for their honeymoon?  

Bad dream?  LSD?

Be interesting to see if there is a logical explanation for this in the offing.  If there is, then the setup here is clever indeed!

[Secretstash]

14 hours ago, littlebopeeper said:

Still doesn't make much sense.  Is the minister conducting the ceremony also in on it?  The clerk at the marriage license bureau?  What happened at the rehearsals?  The bridal shower?  No wedding dinner?  In whose names are the airline tickets if bride and groom are flying off for their honeymoon?  

Bad dream?  LSD?

Be interesting to see if there is a logical explanation for this in the offing.  If there is, then the setup here is clever indeed!

Can I ask something, honestly? How can you read this far into the story and realize this is being done through magic or supernatural means? It's a work of fiction, where magic happens, I don't understand the need to ask such questions... like just enjoy the story for what it is.

Fantastic job @MellowSadistic and excellent story, hope to see more of yours pop on here eventually! 😁

[littlebopeeper]

Interesting.  You are 26, and assume that it's magic.  I'm 64, and assume that she's stoned or off her meds-- in short, that she's hallucinating.  The author can put this to rest by using the tags.  If it's "magic," tag it as such so that those of us who do not fit in the Harry Potter demographic can move on.

[Secretstash]

35 minutes ago, littlebopeeper said:

Interesting.  You are 26, and assume that it's magic.  I'm 64, and assume that she's stoned or off her meds-- in short, that she's hallucinating.  The author can put this to rest by using the tags.  If it's "magic," tag it as such so that those of us who do not fit in the Harry Potter demographic can move on.

I don't "assume" anything, I go by the context and words the author uses. By all means, please do point out the parts the lead you to believe this is hallucination. Also just because you're older doesn't mean you need to talk down to those who enjoy Harry Potter or the concept of magic. Only one here off their meds is you...

[spoonchicken]

53 minutes ago, Secretstash said:

I don't "assume" anything, I go by the context and words the author uses. By all means, please do point out the parts the lead you to believe this is hallucination. Also just because you're older doesn't mean you need to talk down to those who enjoy Harry Potter or the concept of magic. Only one here off their meds is you...

The second sentence of your above statement constitutes abusive language & conduct. We don't easily tolerate that sort of thing here. In the future please be VERY careful regarding your exact choice of words when making posts on this website. 

[MellowSadistic]

You: arguing over whether the explanation is magical or realistic

Me: frantically editing the final part of the story so that there's any explanation at all

[Secretstash]

58 minutes ago, spoonchicken said:

The second sentence of your above statement constitutes abusive language & conduct. We don't easily tolerate that sort of thing here. In the future please be VERY careful regarding your exact choice of words when making posts on this website. 

My second sentence states: "By all means, please do point out the parts the lead you to believe this is hallucination." How exactly am I breaking rules on that one? He stated he thought the story could be explained through hallucination or being off her meds, I was curious what part of the story led him to that conclusion. Or do you mean the last part? Because if that's the part you take issue with, I'll just quote you back here "be VERY careful regarding your exact choice of words when making posts on this website. "

 

Also @MellowSadistic I apologize tremendously for highjacking your story, I've just become incredibly frustrated with people o the board questioning every little thing authors do or how they write. You all give us such awesome stories for free and I'm just tired of people getting on authors backs about everything. We should all be happy and grateful people are even willing to write amazing stories for us.

[ValentinesStuff]

3 hours ago, littlebopeeper said:

Interesting.  You are 26, and assume that it's magic.  I'm 64, and assume that she's stoned or off her meds-- in short, that she's hallucinating.  The author can put this to rest by using the tags.  If it's "magic," tag it as such so that those of us who do not fit in the Harry Potter demographic can move on.

Funny I'm 57 and I'm guessing it's a pre wedding nightmare, and she's going to wake up in a wet poopy bed.

 

BTW I enjoyed the Harry Potter books and still enjoy fantasy and science fiction.

[~Brian~]

56 minutes ago, ValentinesStuff said:

Funny I'm 57 and I'm guessing it's a pre wedding nightmare, and she's going to wake up in a wet poopy bed.

 

BTW I enjoyed the Harry Potter books and still enjoy fantasy and science fiction.

@Secretstash@ValentinesStuff

I am 51, almost 52, and I still enjoy reading things like Sherlock Holmes, and I still like Star Trek Novels, which I read in my 20's and 30's.  I am not a Harry Potter Fan myself, but I know that there are people who are.  I also know that what I like may not be what someone else likes, but the beauty of that is, that each of us has their own likes, dislikes, opinions, and such, and I respect all of them

Brian

 

[Babypants]

11 minutes ago, ~Brian~ said:

I am not a Harry Potter Fan myself, but I know that there are people who are. 

Like every other aspect of the marketplace, the publishing industry researches the ebbs and flows of reader taste more or less nonstop.  What's known as the Harry Potter demographic has been carefully tracked for more than ten years now.  For example, a 2021 survey of the US market revealed that 48% of the 18-34 cohort had read at least one book in the series, with 32% reading the entire series.  A deeper dive revealed that females are measurably more loyal to the series than male readers.  However, once you get outside this demographic, the audience falls off on both sides.  Without isolating the 18-34 cohort, the survey showed that across all population groups the numbers fell off to 31% and 18%.

What Rowland did that captured the industry's attention is redefine the term "demographic."  Instead of fixing it (children / young teens / young adults / mature audience), Rowland aged her characters to keep them in line with the aging of her readership.  The result is a series spanning something like 80 languages with the greatest sales worldwide for a given series in the long history of publishing.  She has surpassed Erle Stanley Gardner's Perry Mason series, and that is quite an accomplishment.  

[Babypants]

3 hours ago, MellowSadistic said:

Me: frantically editing the final part of the story so that there's any explanation at all

When you are writing fiction, there is an unwritten compact in play between the author and reader.  One of the expectations is that a story will have a resolution.  There are three parts here: 1) the central conflict must be resolved; 2) the characters require closure; 3) unless you are setting up a sequel, there can be no loose ends.  

This is the end game.  There are other rules in play both in the beginning and throughout.  For example, every character expressing a narrative POV has to be given a sufficient backstory to make the character's thoughts, words and actions seem plausible to the reader.

Don't be discouraged here.  I have read many screenplays in which the viewer is only allowed to see what's been going on at the very end.  Programs like Twilight Zone and Outer Limits did this quite frequently.  So keep writing, but know that you will only get better at this if you welcome criticism rather than shying away from it.  

[MellowSadistic]

Part 4

Grace sat on the floor with her legs spread out in front of her, playing with her Barbie dolls. Her once sleek, elegant blonde hair was tied up in a pair of scruffy pigtails. She wore a bib over her bare breasts; it was splattered with baby food, and a fair amount was still smeared around her mouth and chin. Her trim, tight tummy was gone – she didn’t get much exercise anymore, and the rich creamy bottles of formula she constantly drank ensured that her belly had a permanent layer of baby fat. Her thick disposable diaper bulged between her legs, clearly soaked to the brim, and there was a strong potty smell surrounding her that let anyone who came close know that she’d pooped her pants. It was how little Gracie spend most of her days.

After the worst day of her life, Grace had spent a couple of weeks back with her mother while Jessica and Rob went on their honeymoon. Two weeks of having her own mother treat her like she was an overgrown two-year-old, feeding her and bathing her and wiping her butt for her, and talking at length about how lucky they were that Jessica had put Grace ‘in her rightful place’.

But things were even worse once Jessica got back. Grace was her little girl now, a plaything to tease and taunt however she wanted, a witness to her victory. Jessica gave her all sorts of ridiculous tasks to do, and Gracie did every one of them with a dumb grin on her face – wiggling her butt and singing along to The Wheels on the Bus, playing tea-parties with her stuffed animals, seeing just how much of a mess she could make of herself during mealtimes in her highchair.

Grace looked up from her Barbies and took in the living room. There were lots of new pictures up on the shelves. Pictures of Jessica and Rob looking radiant together as they held hands and kissed on their wedding day. And of course, pictures of her. Pictures of her sucking her toes in the middle of a nappy change. Pictures of her making silly faces at the camera. And, in pride of place above the mantlepiece, a picture of her in her flower girl dress, squatting down in the middle of the aisle, making a messy diaper on what should have been her special day.

After she’d spent a few more weeks as a helpless passenger in her own body, squishing around in poopy pants, giggling along to baby shows, and getting her butt spanked for misbehaviour, Jessica had finally deigned to tell her how she’d stripped away her adulthood and autonomy and turned all her family and friends, including her beloved Rob, into her beaming accomplices – not that knowing did her much good. I’m a witch, you silly slut. All it took was a little spell to make your body act like a dumb toddler while keeping your mind trapped inside. I want you to know you’re being punished, after all. Then I cast another spell on all your wedding guests to make them think that I’m the one who ought to be marrying Rob, and that being my well-disciplined daughter is exactly what you deserve. Even your own mother thinks so! The only difficulty was this kind of magic requires eye contact, so it was easiest to wait until the ceremony when everyone closest to you was gathered in one place, and I could work my spell on them all at once. Besides, it was so much more fun to take Rob away from you right at the last moment!

Suddenly, Grace heard a noise at the front door, the turning of a key in the lock. “Dada!” she squealed, getting to her feet and toddling over to the man who should have been her husband, her bare breasts wobbling about ludicrously and her nappy crinkling loudly with every step.

“Hi princess!” said Rob, ruffling his ex-fiancée’s hair. Then he wrinkled his nose. “Peeyew! I think someone’s done a stinky!”

“I’m a stupid, stinky wittle giwl!” Gracie said proudly.

Rob chuckled and pulled her in for a cuddle. “Daddy loves you, sweetheart,” he cooed. “Even if you are just a stinky little girl who’s too stupid for potty training.”

He kissed her on the forehead and Grace felt a pleasant tingling run through her body. Rob still loved her. Grace supposed she should be grateful for that – even if it was as a Daddy instead of as a husband.

No! She couldn’t start thinking like that. She was going to break whatever hold Jessica had over her and Rob! She couldn’t spend the rest of her life like this!

“Hi Rob!” came Jessica’s voice. “Did you have a good day at work?” She swept down the stairs and rushed over to him, flashing a smirk at Grace before cupping a hand to her husband’s cheek and kissing him passionately.

Gracie giggled happily at the sight of her Mummy and Daddy’s affection for each other, but inside she was boiling with anger. That bitch needed to get her tongue out of Rob’s mouth right now, or else… or else…

Or else what? she asked herself bitterly. She’d blow a raspberry at her? Stomp her feet and throw a tantrum? Make an even bigger mess in her diaper for her to clean up?

Jessica pressed her body against Rob’s, and Grace saw Rob’s hand move down her back to squeeze her ass. Jessica moaned into his mouth.

“What about Gracie?” Rob asked, breaking off the kiss momentarily. “She needs changing.”

“She can wait,” Jessica said. “Some time in a messy nappy will help her learn her place.”

“You’re too harsh on her sometimes.”

“She has to learn she’s not a grown-up anymore,” Jessica said firmly. “She’s nothing but a silly, smelly baby now, no matter how big her tits are. She’s never going to be an adult again, so she might as well get used to poopy pants.”

Rob nodded and went back to kissing his wife.

Grace wanted to scream and cry, but instead she just pouted – as if her life being ruined forever was some mild annoyance to her, on par with having to take a nap or go and sit in time-out.

“Still,” said Jessica, breaking off the kiss again, “we don’t want her ruining the mood with her stinky Pampers.” She turned to grin maliciously at Grace, who was still standing there watching, sucking one of her fingers. “Bedtime for you, potty-pants.”

“But Mama!” Grace heard herself whining. “It’s only 6 o’ clock!”

Jessica flashed her a stern look, and Grace felt her diaper warming as she peed herself out of fear. Little Gracie didn’t want Mummy to turn her tushy red again.

Hating how pathetic Jessica had made her, she whimpered and turned around, waddling off dejectedly to her nursery. She climbed into her crib, clutching half a dozen stuffed animals to her, and lay her head down on her pillow, trying to ignore the disgusting mess in her nappy and fall asleep while the sounds of Jessica and Rob’s passionate sex echoed through the house.

Grace sobbed on the inside, the realisation finally dawning on her that Jessica had won. Her adult privileges had been revoked forever, all because of a jealous woman’s grudge, and she’d just have to get used to her new life as a stupid, big-titted baby. There was nothing else she could do. Grace felt her thumb slip between her lips as she drifted off to sleep in her loaded diaper, hoping that she’d get to dream about a life where she’d been the one to marry Rob, or at the very least, where she was allowed to go potty somewhere that wasn’t in her pants.

The End

***

If you want to read more evil stories or captions about women being transformed into overgrown babies, I also post on Tumblr, DeviantArt, and SubscribeStar.

[Babypants]

Good closing chapter.  All 3 points of the resolution are covered, and using introspection for the reveal works well.  What I'm missing here is backstory.  How did so powerful a witch lose Rob in the first place?  This is where I would have gone with the second chapter.  As it stands, it reads like a fairy tale in which Cinderella/Snow White loses out to Evil Queen/Wicked Witch.  Flesh out the characters to go with the richly detailed plot, and you've got a winner here.