Getting Surgery in Mexico

[DailyDi]

4 minutes ago, zzyzx said:

@DailyDi Then you need to buy your 2024 or 2025 badge.  <GRIN>  (Or at least flag you account as having the badge).

@Reddy The two confused responses I currently see on this page is the same person that I've seen use it a number of times in this thread - fizzle.....

Wow, how strange that you have access admins don't I set a secondary group on my account so I can see them now! Thanks

[mirrored]

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I did get very frustrated with your up and down, life changes when you have no control of any body functions 

If you are frustrated from reading it, Imagine how Reddy feels having to feel those feelings! 😄

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I agree with you because I don't think I should be liking it.  I shouldn't complain while liking it.  Or I shouldn't complain at all.  I should probably just enjoy it simply, but I also don't like when I enjoy it.  It feels wrong, and it is, and I shouldn't enjoy while talking about complaining.  The complaining seems better, but it's not honest, I do like diapers and I do desire incontinence.

Having the surgery is all a huge lie, the whole thing.  I really hate that it's a lie.  I don't want to talk to professionals about it because I don't like anything about what I did.  It's okay to be incontinent and need diapers, but it's really strange to desire it and even go so far as to make myself truly incontinent.  All because I wanted to.

I wish I only regretted it and didn't like it.  It would be simpler.

It feels pretty disgusting to enjoy it.  It always has.

You are right that I was wrong in different ways that I talked about it.  I described the bad parts and I wanted to explore all of those.  But I made people concerned and worse I also have enjoyment of facets of all of the different parts of this, that I don't like, I also have enjoyment.

People have complained in this thread that all I want, is to do whatever I want with no regard to society.  How can I deny that?  It's is obviousy true.  I got surgery to change my body to become incontinent.  Which is something that is happening out in the world next to everyone.

My friends are genuinely thinking that I have had a terrible thing befall me.  But it is what I chose.  It's a big lie and it's wrong.

But it's not only the implication that I gave with them, it even happens here and to you.

Your accusation is very embarrassing because of its truth and ugliness.

I am truly sorry, and I don't like this part of me, but you are right.

I posted earlier along in your journey but wound up deleting my posts as a result of some problems I was having at the time. But I've been following this thread from the start and I feel like you are being incredibly harsh to yourself now. I recall you mentioning that you had issues with your bladder before the surgery, right? Issues with frequency, urgency, and leaks? I recall telling you back then that you already met the diagnostic criteria for incontinence before you had that surgery, though you didn't agree or feel the same way. But I bring that up to maybe try and open your mind to a different perspective. 

Have you considered the possibility that you aren't lying? That the enjoyment you are getting from this is from the relief of not having the symptoms that plagued you before you got the surgery? Based on what you posted, I think that you would have wound up in this position (having more severe incontinence and needing diapers) somewhere further along the line of your life, and your surgery just sped that process up. You did not choose to have the problems you had and there is no shame in seeking some kind of relief from your symptoms. That includes the physical symptoms you had and the mental health struggles you had too. 

"I had a procedure done to address some symptoms I had with my pelvic floor and it wound up having a different outcome than I expected" sounds like the truth to me. In addition, you did not choose to have the symptoms or the desires that you had. If it was a choice, surely you would have made different choices. Give yourself some grace, you deserve it.  

[Dribbler247]

This thread has been a great document of experiences. I've reactive my login for some questions for you guys who've had the surgery. 

I'm interested in your leakage at night. I read that there's not a lot of flow, just random leaks and dribbles as you move around. I realise that until recently you've had a bladder with generally normal capacity. But the bladder is a muscle and now you can't use yours anymore during the day (ie intentionally holding urine) as the sphincter are gone. I understand hat the bladder is still stretchable enough that it will fill to some degree  while you're lying on you back, say, or some other way that your pee isn't reaching the open neck.

But if you don't use a muscle it atrophies. So, the question is, are you expecting your bladder to shrink? If it never stretches, then eventually it can't stretch, the ability is lost. Even at night, I'd therefore expect the amount of pee it can hold without leaking to get smaller over time. S that what you are expecting, or experiencing at all?

Do you therefore tend to gush urine when you get up in the morning? And would you expect this to get smaller over time as you leak more during the night? Does your bladder ever feel full enough that you feel the need to pee, or does it always leak before that point?

Thanks for any info!

[Hannah YMS]

6 hours ago, Dribbler247 said:

But if you don't use a muscle it atrophies. So, the question is, are you expecting your bladder to shrink?

This is indeed a good question to ask over time due to @Reddy's condition. I'd be interested to know the answer in a few years time.

[ryan87]

My understanding is that the bladder has some minimum capacity before it starts to stretch, like 100 mL. And once it starts to stretch it activates the signals to your brain that it's filling and eventually starts giving you the urge to pee, and then when you relax your sphincters, the bladder muscles contract to empty it. If you're emptying it sooner, it gets used to not stretching as much before it sends the emptying signals, which also makes the muscles contract more often, and thicker muscle around the bladder walls prevents it from stretching as easily. So funnily enough as we're working to reduce bladder control, we're building the muscle up that makes it contract more often and less able to fill more than some minimal amount.

I'm not sure how this works if you don't have a sphincter, though. If you're constantly draining and the muscle doesn't ever work to push urine out, maybe you still retain capacity and it all comes out at once when you're in a position that gravity will let it drain out?

I can feel for myself (just normal untraining, no surgery) that if I hold it for longer than about 30 minutes, I start to get a strange crampy feeling around my bladder. It's different from the "normal" feeling of a bladder at its capacity, but not totally sure how to describe it. I want to say it feels similar to a muscle getting stretched out, but dunno if it's just my brain filling in the gap there since that's how I've read that it works.

[Reddy]

@mirrored

Thanks, I remember your posts and glad to hear from you.

I have to say, now that you remind me I do NOT miss the intermittent pain and LUTS that I had.  That sucked.  I still believe the damage I did with the staple in my urethra as a kid caused some kind of problem and everything being scraped out probably gave everything a new surface and eliminated some of that problem area.  I can't prove any of that but I kind of think so.

Although I gave those problems to myself too, now that I think about that.  But I was just a kid.  And I don't know any of this for sure.

On 10/30/2024 at 11:46 AM, mirrored said:

"I had a procedure done to address some symptoms I had with my pelvic floor and it wound up having a different outcome than I expected" sounds like the truth to me.

I actually like this a lot for what to tell my parents maybe.  I haven't told them yet but it's on my mind.

[Reddy]

@Dribbler247 I am not sure about my bladder size, when I had urodynamics I think they said it was a normal capacity.  I don't leak very much at night, but there is no gushing when I get up.  The way it works with me there is never a gushing.  If my bladder is full it will come out slowly if I am standing up or watching around.  That's why I don't think I leak that much in bed, there is no gravity working on it.  But peeing is drips or slow no matter what.  The only thing that happens fast is if I randomly clench for some reason.  Then a bunch of pee squirts out too.

On 11/1/2024 at 2:18 AM, ryan87 said:

I'm not sure how this works if you don't have a sphincter, though. If you're constantly draining and the muscle doesn't ever work to push urine out, maybe you still retain capacity and it all comes out at once when you're in a position that gravity will let it drain out?

This is what happens when I am standing up or like outside all day, my bladder constantly leaks and it never has anything inside it at all, it's only when I sit down or go to bed it will start to fill up.

[Reddy]

I dont want to get in politics but the election really bothers me this time everybody using incontinence and diapers as the worst insult they can make.  It's really frustrating people think that way and say it too.

[mirrored]

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Thanks, I remember your posts and glad to hear from you.

I have to say, now that you remind me I do NOT miss the intermittent pain and LUTS that I had.  That sucked.  I still believe the damage I did with the staple in my urethra as a kid caused some kind of problem and everything being scraped out probably gave everything a new surface and eliminated some of that problem area.  I can't prove any of that but I kind of think so.

Although I gave those problems to myself too, now that I think about that.  But I was just a kid.  And I don't know any of this for sure.

I'm happy to hear that you're open to different perspectives! And yeah, I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. Even if you "gave yourself those problems", for a child to do something so extreme there has to be a reason why. There has to be some input or some impulse causing it either physiological or psychological. It could be a million different things, like toxic shame or bodily dysfunction, and finding out what exactly drove this impulse and this desire for you may help you find some peace with this condition. No child (hell, no person at all) will go to the lengths that you have gone without good reason. Through my own healing with trauma and shame, I've come to understand that these things don't just come up out of nowhere. 

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I dont want to get in politics but the election really bothers me this time everybody using incontinence and diapers as the worst insult they can make.  It's really frustrating people think that way and say it too.

This has been extremely frustrating to me too. I am on a political board on other sites and people have used the "bedwetter" phrase very often to describe anxiety, I actually called them out for it! And they stopped using the phrase! But how they talk about one of the particular candidates has been driving me crazy. I can't wait until Wednesday. 

[Reddy]

Now my parents know Im completely incontinent and have to wear diapers and this is the biggest relief I ever had in my entire life.

I told them how I am incontinent from a surgery and how I had to get a second surgery from the stricture but overall it fixed my LUTS symptoms and pain and irritation and bladder retention which it did. And they agreed the artificial sphincter and mesh are a bad idea since my doctor himself didn't recommend it for my retention and that they just sounded risky and bad (but obviously I was never going to do that anyway) But they said keep going to physical therapy even though it didnt do anything yet since its still healthy anyway and it can't hurt.  I agree with that and Im gonna keep going.

It is all so much less stressful and everything is one million times easier to visit them now.

[Diapered Dave]

Wow... Glad that they took it well !!!  I was just wondering if you were going to see them for Thanksgiving... How's everything else going? Are you dealing with diaper dependence ok?  Any changes, like retention or strictures? Bedtime wetting? 

[Little Sherri]

4 hours ago, Reddy said:

Now my parents know Im completely incontinent and have to wear diapers and this is the biggest relief I ever had in my entire life.

I never reached this point with my parents before they hit a cognitive brick wall, and it became irrelevant, and of course, I'm not incontinent, but I can certainly relate to how it feels to be "out" with someone who is important to you; it's like a tremendous weight has come off of your shoulders. Telling my wife was among the most stressful things I've ever done, and afterwards, when it was apparent that life as I know it would more or less continue, that was one of the biggest reliefs of my life. A couple of my good friends finding out has made it a lot easier to go on golf trips and things like that - not that I live like an overtly diapered person, but, it's just not an issue anymore - I don't have to dedicate a percentage of my processing power to running scenarios and performing security scans, I can just be a dude, drinking a beer, who happens to have plastic underpants on. Of course, they don't fully know the "why" of it, but they know the "what", and so far, it hasn't been an issue. 

[superabsorbantpolymer]

6 hours ago, Reddy said:

Now my parents know Im completely incontinent and have to wear diapers and this is the biggest relief I ever had in my entire life.

I told them how I am incontinent from a surgery and how I had to get a second surgery from the stricture but overall it fixed my LUTS symptoms and pain and irritation and bladder retention which it did. And they agreed the artificial sphincter and mesh are a bad idea since my doctor himself didn't recommend it for my retention and that they just sounded risky and bad (but obviously I was never going to do that anyway) But they said keep going to physical therapy even though it didnt do anything yet since its still healthy anyway and it can't hurt.  I agree with that and Im gonna keep going.

It is all so much less stressful and everything is one million times easier to visit them now.

Congrats! Now work, friends, and family all know you need diapers forever! No need to ever stress about hiding your needs, that's great  😊 

You said you went to physical therapy? What was that like? Did they have you do exercises?

[Reddy]

7 hours ago, Diapered Dave said:

Wow... Glad that they took it well !!!  I was just wondering if you were going to see them for Thanksgiving... How's everything else going? Are you dealing with diaper dependence ok?  Any changes, like retention or strictures? Bedtime wetting? 

Things are fine, life is busy and hard but that's okay, health wise totally fine, I dont have any pain and LUTS like I used to since puberty which is actually one of the most awesome parts about this.  Diaper dependence is fine, I have gotten more used to it, it is still stressful and embarrassing but I have gotten a lot more used to it.  No retention and no strictures so I just feel good.  Although I should say no new stricture problems, I still have my stricture, but I don’t really thing about it because I don't pee consciously most of the time... my diaper just becomes wet... so I don't care or notice at all that my stream is really weak, if that makes sense.  I am still not sure if I wet at night.  I know I do a little bit, but it might just be from moving around or getting up in the night etc.

1 hour ago, superabsorbantpolymer said:

Congrats! Now work, friends, and family all know you need diapers forever! No need to ever stress about hiding your needs, that's great  😊 

You said you went to physical therapy? What was that like? Did they have you do exercises?

Yeap it's a huge huge relief, now totally everybody knows I am incontinent, and I also know for sure it's not ever going away and I will always need diapers, so it all feels really stable now.  There's nothing else left that could be a problem or have to stress about that isn't already addressed now.  It's still stressful but never having to worry that it would become a really problem if I am crinkling too much or my diaper is too big and bulky, is a huge relief.  It's still embarrassing, but there's no crisis or problem that can come of it anymore.

Yeap I go to physical therapy, I did 4 appointments so I have 8 left, I go every week or two weeks. I am focusing on sexual functions and it is all the same exercises for regaining sexual function and regaining continence, so it doesn't really matter what you are there for, it just kind of helps everything a little bit if that makes sense.  The appointments are really nice, he explains how stuff works and I learned a lot already, and he gives me exercises I have to do.

[superabsorbantpolymer]

What exercises has he taught you? Kegel? Relaxation? Strengthening?

What do you wear during the session? Did you tell the physiotherapist that you don't want to fix your incontinence?

 

[Reddy]

9 hours ago, superabsorbantpolymer said:

What exercises has he taught you? Kegel? Relaxation? Strengthening?

What do you wear during the session? Did you tell the physiotherapist that you don't want to fix your incontinence?

 

There are stretches, kegel, and other things to strengthen mucles.  For example you can strengthen tour hip side muscles (abductors) because even though they are on the outside of your legs they wrap around and fasten to the inside of your pelvis so it increases muscle bulking inside there.  So, I am learning a lot.  Yes, both strengthening and relaxation and he said the release of muscles and ability to relax them is 100% as important in the exercise as the strengthen motion.

No I didn't say that I don't want to fix my incontinence for a few reasons.

1.  I do want to see what it takes to fix my incontinence.  What if I decide it's finally too much and I want to stop being incontinent?  So I want to learn everything and strengthen the muscles so I can always stop being incontinent if I want to.  However, I am finding out it does not fix my incontinence at all.  So I think the complete damage and removals of sphincters is much more extensive for someone like me than for most anybody else, so it will not really work at all.

2.  I want to fix my sexual functions, better orgasm, and fix ED, and libido.  And, this is actually all of the same exact therapy targeted for this as it is for incontinence, so I am doing it the same therapy 100% anyways.

3.  I don't want to tell him that because it is uncomfortable.  And for above reasons, since I really want to actually do all of the work, put in the time and effort and fully understand it, there is no reason to tell him that and possibly confuse and derail the therapy.

I wear comfortable sweatpants and t shirt (and obviously diaper since I would be soaking wet otherwise lol).  But I have to take my diaper off when I am getting manual therapy, so about half of the appointments.  There is plenty of towels and sheets put down so it is fine.  And then I put a new diaper on.

[Diapered Dave]

12 minutes ago, Reddy said:

I want to fix my sexual functions, better orgasm, and fix ED, and libido.

So did the 2nd surgery cause ED and libido issues?

16 minutes ago, Reddy said:

But I have to take my diaper off when I am getting manual therapy, so about half of the appointments.  There is plenty of towels and sheets put down so it is fine. 

Not clear on what that is... Is it like a massage of the back and side muscles? Do you usually wet a lot during this? Would a penis clamp be helpful then?

[Reddy]

5 minutes ago, Diapered Dave said:

So did the 2nd surgery cause ED and libido issues?

Not clear on what that is... Is it like a massage of the back and side muscles? Do you usually wet a lot during this? Would a penis clamp be helpful then?

Not sure it was the 2nd surgery or not... I had all these problems from the very first surgery though.  It was very bad and got a lot better, but still problems.  2nd surgery was way way less invasive because it was just for the stricture.  But I do think ED was worse after the 2nd surgery, hard to know if that's true or in my head.  Part of it was probably temporary from the 2nd surgery and recovery, but not necessarily any "new" issues just a set back.  As least that's how I think it should have been.

There are apparently nerves that run over the front of the hips like on the waist on the front of you, there was some just pointing that out and tracing it and then releasing tissue around those to wake up the nerve.  And some tissue releasing in the back of the legs, like hamstrings but starting from where it comes connects to the hips bones.  Aside from that of course there is full pelvic exam to investigate muscle strength inside and out for a starting point and make sure things work correctly and are just weak.

[superabsorbantpolymer]

Wow, do you think you'd believe yourself if you told yourself a year ago that you'd be in pelvic floor physical therapy, removing your soggy diaper and dribbling all over the therapy table while working in vain to restore the strength of muscles you know have no hope of ever commanding to stop your pee?

I'm assuming there, do you think you could get some control back? Now that your living with it and going to medical care for your issues, does some part of you wish you could fix it/undo it? 

You said a few months ago that you feel like your journey is over and now all you are is wet all the time, while that's good in that you've adjusted and things are more stable, it seems to me your journey is still ongoing. The physiotherapy, ongoing urology care, even managing things in your daily life are all parts of the journey, perhaps it's easy to miss the milestones in the moment, but I certainly appreciate you continuing to catalog your journey! 

[Reddy]

On 11/30/2024 at 5:41 PM, superabsorbantpolymer said:

Wow, do you think you'd believe yourself if you told yourself a year ago that you'd be in pelvic floor physical therapy, removing your soggy diaper and dribbling all over the therapy table while working in vain to restore the strength of muscles you know have no hope of ever commanding to stop your pee?

I'm assuming there, do you think you could get some control back? Now that your living with it and going to medical care for your issues, does some part of you wish you could fix it/undo it? 

You said a few months ago that you feel like your journey is over and now all you are is wet all the time, while that's good in that you've adjusted and things are more stable, it seems to me your journey is still ongoing. The physiotherapy, ongoing urology care, even managing things in your daily life are all parts of the journey, perhaps it's easy to miss the milestones in the moment, but I certainly appreciate you continuing to catalog your journey! 

I would NEVER believe that a year ago.  One year ago December 5, I didn't know about the concept of this surgery in Mexico until a month later on Jan 4 when I saw the comment on this site mentioning the website, and I emailed them to ask about it.  One month after first emailing them, I was in the operating room on Feb 12... it took FOREVER to wait.  Now that sounds kinda fast from first hearing about on line... to operating table.

No, I don't think I could get any control back.  I have been doing the physical therapy, and I haven't made any progress.  It seems hopeless.  For someone who had this happen to them by accident, it would be very depressing and devastating.  Basically no hope, and trapped in diapers forever.  Well, that is my actual reality.  I don't wish to undo it.  It's becoming a basic part of me now because my subconscious knows I need diapers too now.  I feel deeply incontinent, which I am now.

Thank you for the appreciation 🙏

Sometimes I miss Guadalajara.  It's a special place.  And that hotel room.  What a time.

[keyman419]

I also have had a phone consultation with Dr A and it went very well. I was surprised that he told me since I'm now nullified with a reroute, that actually makes it slightly more complicated but he wasn't worried about doing it. There actually may be less risk of a stricture if I understood correctly. My urethra is less than 10cm long now and basically comes straight down. I'm doing the best I can to accept that I'm already incontinent but don't have the dribbling that I desire. The hypno and training has made an impact and I am certainly on the incontinent spectrum now. It's just easier to be in a diaper now rather than potty every 30-60 minutes. My pelvic floor muscle also seems to have weakened as I'm having greater difficulty holding the back now too. Everyone warned me this could happen.

I appreciate this thread and learning what I've learned so far. Perhaps I will be reporting on my surgery at some point as well, as soon as I fully accept my fate. Appears diapers are forever perhaps.

[Diapered Dave]

1 hour ago, keyman419 said:

I also have had a phone consultation with Dr A and it went very well. I was surprised that he told me since I'm now nullified with a reroute, that actually makes it slightly more complicated but he wasn't worried about doing it. There actually may be less risk of a stricture if I understood correctly. My urethra is less than 10cm long now and basically comes straight down. I'm doing the best I can to accept that I'm already incontinent but don't have the dribbling that I desire. The hypno and training has made an impact and I am certainly on the incontinent spectrum now. It's just easier to be in a diaper now rather than potty every 30-60 minutes. My pelvic floor muscle also seems to have weakened as I'm having greater difficulty holding the back now too. Everyone warned me this could happen.

I appreciate this thread and learning what I've learned so far. Perhaps I will be reporting on my surgery at some point as well, as soon as I fully accept my fate. Appears diapers are forever perhaps.

So what kind of incontinence do you have now? Urge incon? What kind of training and hypno have you used to get where you are? How often do you have wetting / messing accidents?

[superabsorbantpolymer]

On 4/30/2024 at 2:05 PM, wetguy13579 said:

Yep, I had it in early December of last year. I am always kind of on the fence about sharing details these days, but it has overall been successful. I am incontinent and would not be able to go through day to day life without pull ups or diapers.

I did have some complications - strictures, pain and retrograde ejaculation. Pain is largely gone nowadays, but I still get some stinging after orgasms which I am trying to get to the bottom of. Retrograde ejaculation was to be expected, and I had a procedure to treat my strictures which has solved the issue seemingly.

Besides that, I don’t ever manually pee anymore. It just leaks out, whether it’s drips or larger gushes/streams just depends on position/movement/fluid intake. But my bladder ultimately cannot hold urine anymore. Even if I clench my sphincters it still comes out.

I can still get normal erections and have normal orgasms, but sometimes I have that stinging discomfort for a few hours after doing so. Hopefully this can be resolved, because it is a bit bothersome to be honest. Otherwise, I’ve just been adjusting to my new state of being. Personally I prefer pull-ups to tabbed diapers, so I’ve been changing lots and lots of those. Always need to bring spares if you’re going out just in case too.

Congrats on one year of incontinence, @wetguy13579! How are you doing these days?

[Living Curious]

On 2/10/2024 at 1:04 PM, BrownBobby said:

And a stent like Memokath is a possible longer-term solution...but you have to be extremely careful with those.  The risks aren't worth it compared to surgery - and that's saying something.

 

This whole time reading I have been surprised that no one has brought up Memokath. I don't know much about it but this is the first I've heard that it's more risky than surgery. What makes it more risky? 

[Living Curious]

On 2/17/2024 at 3:08 PM, TheSuperDiaperBoy said:

After reading and hearing from Reddy and his experience, who is seriously considering going to Dr. Aguilar next?

100% I'm seriously considering this.