Making friends

[diaper Richard]

Making friends in the ABDL community is hard to do even here were I thought this was a good place to start, but so far not impressed! There have been a few people that have been nice but there's a lot of people that are rude old grumpy people, saying shit like there's that questions already been asked, or like that's a stupid question. I have come to realize there's no safe place to be!

[DailyDiapers]

I never pull the "asked and answered" card as I figure each new person has something new to contribute to any conversation, and folks can't be expected to read a million plus posts to know everything that has been posted before.

And the only dumb question is "Who likes to act their age and wear underpants?" lol

[~Brian~]

1 hour ago, diaper Richard said:

Making friends in the ABDL community is hard to do even here were I thought this was a good place to start, but so far not impressed! There have been a few people that have been nice but there's a lot of people that are rude old grumpy people, saying shit like there's that questions already been asked, or like that's a stupid question. I have come to realize there's no safe place to be!

@diaper Richard

Good afternoon!

I have found this community to be very supportive! When I started having problems in in 2019, I knew Of Mike, and I knew that this site was where I needed to be. Also known that there are certain users that have been with DDA long time, and I know and I knew that when I finally had the nerve to sign on, that they would be very helpful and very understanding. Part of the deal is you have to be willing to make friends as well, and sometimes it's a little hard! Believe me I know exactly what you're saying it can be really weird if you don't feel safe anywhere in the community, but I do on DD!

I do not say that statement lightly! Everywhere else that I've been with the exception of very few websites, the information that is there may be incorrect, or put ABDL's In a bad late rather than in a good light. They always seem to pick on or chastise or something these individuals who have made the choice to live the lifestyle they choose. It is not up to me what these people choose to do and I can't control that, but I can control the fact that I feel OK here, and there's a lot of good friends. Maybe not as many to sign on as frequently as they used to, but they're still here, they are still my friends, and I can tell you without some of them I would not be the person I am today, and be able to accept what and who I am.

When we're talking about users here, there are lots of them. Sometimes people are rude and grumbly or they just might not agree with something that is said. There are also times when there are people that are total idiots, especially if they're on the server, in their in chat, and they cause problems. Our moderators on The chat system are very good at what they do, and most of the time they don't even have to speak to the order of the server, which means if somebody's being a dork, and they're making it hard for somebody to chat or they're doing something that they think is inappropriate, they'll kick you, and they usually do if they find somebody is doing something stupid, usually when I say stupid I mean things that would be either an annoyance to the moderators, an annoyance to the users, or something that makes the server unusable or whatever. That's what a moderator is for. A piece and they try to help people, and they're just like me, a person, and they have their good days and their bad days, and I'm sorry to hear that you are having trouble with the community.

There are other people however, that think that this place is somehow toxic, or something bothers them. That is their take, and I'm sorry to hear that some of them feel that way, but I can tell you this the ABDL community are really good at helping you, and if you find the right individuals, and you'd befriend the right people, you will have no problem. Not everyone that comes online is as agile and as knowledgeable as others, that's why we have to help those that are having trouble. This trouble also includes when they don't feel comfortable or they don't feel safe.

Mike keeps this place really clean, and he tries very hard to make sure that we're safe. Somebody that's coming online and he's causing a problem, I've seen these moderators come right down with the hammer if it's necessary. I've also seen them in action when they're trying to deal with a situation, and they are incredible! Mike trust these individuals to help him run his own server, and I tell you Mike does a damn good job of trying to keep this place safe, because this is a place where you can be yourself, you don't have to worry about Adisc, or other places that may end up having a very weird opinion, or they try to " protect you" From the truth, Whatever that is, and I'm not sure why some sites are really hard on people And some are more lenient, and this is a place that is lenient to a point, we can say what we want to say, we can think what we want to think and we can discuss things as long as we do it in an appropriate way, and we don't end up trying to slam our opinions into somebody's mouth to make them eat it!

1 hour ago, DailyDiapers said:

I never pull the "asked and answered" card as I figure each new person has something new to contribute to any conversation, and folks can't be expected to read a million plus posts to know everything that has been posted before.

And the only dumb question is "Who likes to act their age and wear underpants?" l

@DailyDiapers Is right! I believe everyone that comes here can add to an expand a conversation I have found that there are several posts that are very informative, or post that actually let you know how someone feels, or they can be just because they feel like posting and they want to talk. There are plenty of postings on DD, and I like the fact that people have been really cool about certain things. Of course, there might be sometimes when somebody ends up getting a little bit mean in a post, and then maybe a moderator will come in and knock it out, or I've seen where Mike will come in for some reason and delete whole threads, and that's at his discretion or the moderator's discussion. When that happens I just end up chalking it up too maybe there is something that he didn't like about the posting or maybe something got a little heated and he decided to delete the thread or maybe he locked it. That's his discussion. Everybody here can add to a conversation, everybody here has differing opinions has differing attitudes differing ways of doing things, that's what makes DDA lot more fun than some of these other places where the people are so worried about protecting users from themselves it gets ridiculous. On DD, Mike is in charge, and his moderators and his administrators do their very best to make sure this place is safe.

there are other places on the Internet in the community that might not be safe! I do not want to sit on many websites just because this is my home. When I end up going to other sites, I always see things that are interesting, and then I always remember that DD is home! I'd rather be here than most other sites on the Internet because it is safe and it is maintained so that we have a place to be able to let our hair down and be ourselves. Mike is not gonna stop us from being who we are, Mike is not going to chastise this for being what we are and who we are, or what we think. He may think differently or he may think somebody's Attitude is not good, in that is why Mike is so good at what he does. He tries to keep the peace and make sure that we are maintaining Decorum and I like this place because I feel safe. Of this place for at least 27 years, and this place is where I want to be. It is unfortunate that you are having trouble with people on the site, but I can tell you in my opinion DD is safer than any other site on the Internet with few exceptions. I know that it's hard sometimes to make friends, but I'm glad that I do have these friends on DD, because when you're dealing with incontinence it is very hard to be able to admit that you need the help, it's very hard to admit that you might need to use diapers, and it's very hard at first to be able to accept that fact. The friends here on DD helped me very quickly understand what is going on or why I feel the way I feel or why the feelings I have have always been there, and they told me that they'll always be there. Always remember that there are people here that will help you, but you have to give it a chance, and I tell you from experience there are people that are gonna give you a bad time sometimes, and there's gonna be people that might not agree with you, and they might end up getting a little upset, but that's what happens in forums and online. What needs to be done will be done, and most of the time, everything is great, and there's people that have good days and bad days, and that's what happens. Friends are Friends regardless of what happens, if you make good friends they will back you to the wall. I can tell you from experience with very few exceptions that Mike and his team are very awesome people i've also met a lot of good people and I have fun when I'm on the server, but sometimes there's really nothing that I can say, so it gets a little bit boring but I can tell you I love this place, it is part of me now, and it's because of people here on DD that I am here, and not only am I trying to be a good poster and help people, but I'm also trying to learn, and teach others, because when you're wearing diapers, it might be something that they might detest, or they might not understand, so we try to help them do that, and that is the Way of things.

Finally, as I said sometimes you have good days and sometimes you have bad days. It's up to you to end up dealing with frightening friends, but there are friends here if you give it a chance. I credit DD with being able to help me, because I am the kind of guy that can get stressed out over the stupidest things, and Mike and his team have been incredible and I thank them for everything that they do, every day, because sometimes we forget To thank the people that help us here, and I do that now I think everyone for everything that they do, and we always have to remember that in my mind we are a family, some of our family members may end up leaving or whatever for whatever reason, but we always will be touched by whatever they can leave behind, and I wish that the world itself were really easy to be able to befriend people, and sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't but sometimes it's just really easy it all depends on who and how you deal with, and then you just have to roll the dice and see what happens. How I make friends I just start talking to them, and then after a while you break the ice and you're able to tell them things that you wouldn't tell anybody else. On dd, I have been able to do that, but I wouldn't end up opening up a whole bunch of people about that and about the feelings I had and everything else, cause it doesn't make any sense to them, but it makes sense to me or the users here because we've dealt with it.

I wish you luck my friend, and I know it's hard, but give this place a chance, I know there's people that might bother you or whatever, but that's what an admin is for. If you have a problem with somebody or you have an issue that you need solved, they are here to help you. I'm hoping that you will be able to make friends here, because in my mind this place is awesome!

Brian

[Dartplayerinwvc]

1 hour ago, DailyDiapers said:

I never pull the "asked and answered" card as I figure each new person has something new to contribute to any conversation, and folks can't be expected to read a million plus posts to know everything that has been posted before. 

And the only dumb question is "Who likes to act their age and wear underpants?" lol

While true.... I Think that MORE PROMOTIONS and posts SHOULD BE - Group Search IT FIRST mention at the point of making a NEW TOPIC ... add to the discussions already done instead of adding a redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant question or questions....

Sometimes people are rude and grumbly or they just might not agree with something that is said. There are also times when there are people that are total idiots, .... Yeap . even ONE admin has his head... well.. up somewhere... Other Admins are pretty cool.....

Diaper Richard.... if you get offended easy..then take a break, look in the mirror and ask: Who Do I REALLY need to deal with and please? ---- screw the rest of them and block them.

I am 60 and been into this DL thing alot longer than most on here and LONG BEFORE DPF started their monthly newsletters.... 

Worry about what YOU LIKE, WHAT YOU WANT TO READ, WHO you want to meet.... not what everyone else WANTS FROM YOU and yes... TRY SEARCHING FORUMS on topics that interest you.... Get to know YOURSELF a tic better as well....

I have been on here along time and meet a few people... (SEARCH MY NAME AND POSTS) and you will see what my thoughts are on meeting people. 

https://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?/profile/31001-dartplayerinwvc/&status=37923&type=status

https://www.adisc.org/forum/threads/salt-lake-city-utah.135017/page-3#post-2168509

Also here is how to block someone:

https://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?/topic/80950-how-to-block-or-ignore-another-user/

 

2 hours ago, diaper Richard said:

Making friends in the ABDL community is hard to do even here were I thought this was a good place to start, but so far not impressed! There have been a few people that have been nice but there's a lot of people that are rude old grumpy people, saying shit like there's that questions already been asked, or like that's a stupid question. I have come to realize there's no safe place to be!

 

[Young1]

I'm sorry some people have been rude to you please don't leave, 

[feralfreak]

12 hours ago, DailyDiapers said:

I never pull the "asked and answered" card as I figure each new person has something new to contribute to any conversation, and folks can't be expected to read a million plus posts to know everything that has been posted before.

And the only dumb question is "Who likes to act their age and wear underpants?" lol

i can think of many dumb questions:

if i ate buckshot, would i shoot my mouth off?

if i spilled iced coffee on my lap, did i frappe my pants?

if i steal linen from bed bath and beyond, would i be charged with taking a sheet?

[rusty pins]

To answer the "Dumb Question", I like to wear underpants and act my age.  It really is a dumb question to ask of me because my answer would be, "Well, DUH!  ME of course!  I'm a DL, not AB and for me, diapers are just one small part of my overall life.  Otherwise I am a normal person with a full time job and lots of adult hobbies and interests.   90% or more of the time I am dressed like everyone else in cotton Haines briefs and jeans as I go about my day, and I enjoy it.  My world does not revolve around diapers.

Some people might just be reminding others there are already the same posts about common things people talk about.  "What's your favorite diaper", "What diaper are you wearing now" or. "What's the thickest diaper".  I'm sure no malice is meant, people are just bringing it up that there are already postings on the same topic that people can add to, especially new members who haven't had the time yet to really browse the forum posts.  If people didn't bring it up, we would have 50 or 60 new threads all on the exact same topic.

[Alyeskabird]

Ahh the joy of finding that some people are jerks, no matter where you meet them. In part, to be honest, some folks get pissy about people asking the same question over and over again as over the years, it builds up, and they just get tired of having to type the same thing over and over again. Not all forums are easy to navigate, or easy to find specific posts, or questions. Never mind how someone asks the question might make the search for simular difacult. You hang around a while and your likely to get tired of answering the same question again and again. 

Thats no reason to be rude about it, but I do understand not wanting to answer. Another issue is that there are lazy people, who will ask questions that have been answered to death, and they just are unwilling to put any effert into finding an answer, rather they want someone else to do it for them. Heck, some people are just assholes and just want to be rude.

On the other hand, there is enough people that log in here that do not even know its posable to do a search, or how to do it. Can't blaim them for not wanting to hunt through thousands of posts trying to find the ones that might answer there questions. Lack of knowing the system, spec for someone that is new, is not a falt in my eye. Unless they are doing it deliberately. ALso, the be fair, some of the old posts that are in responce to a paticular question might be out of date at this time.

I know for me, if I do not like a question, or do not want to answer it, I just move on to the next post. I might just direct them to a specific sub forum, and sudjest they do a search there, like when people ask about cloth, I tend to send them to the cloth sub forum. 

Still, an important thing to remember, the folks here on the forum are still people. They have good days, and bad days, days they want to help, and days they are just angry and want a reason to lash out at others.  Still, its pretty rare I have seen people here lashing out over repeat questions, new people happen often enough that most are used to having to give a hand of some sort.

[Dartplayerinwvc]

6 hours ago, Alyeskabird said:

Out of kindness and... 

While being on here for several years.. I occasionally add typos and ask... HUH?  so that I can understand what people are typing and be on the same page some take offense, some say thank you and LEARN a new thing they can do to improve themselves

Example by a reply wanting to teach someone how to use their computers better, while answering a topic.... As a printer by trade I see these... and kindly point them out.. There is spell check ... ACTIVATE IT - use it.... when a word is underlined in red, right click and select the corrected word

And also teaching someone HOW and WHERE to search is or well should be blatantly obvious all search windows anywhere look the same with a huge magnifying glass - 

 

 

 

 

 

[Alyeskabird]

Case in point I fear. My spelling has been poor all my life, and I spent far too much time trying to use spell checkers. Never had much luck with them myself, so I stopped messing with the things a long time ago. Hell, look at the issues that autocorrect has caused over the years, there are a lot of examples on the net.

To be blunt, I really do not care that my spelling is poor. Its not like I am sending this to be published somewhere, this is a simple comment on a post on a random forum. I should point out that I do find it interesting that some people get so angry over how a word is spelled.

[Dartplayerinwvc]

be as it may.... it was done in kindness. @Alyeskabird no malice intended

[Three Rivers]

As someone who has been a member here since January 2006.

• Read the boards. (We all share common interests and you will find answers to your questions and see that there is a great deal of others just like you)
• Answer questions how you want
• Block the people who bother you or who you don't want to see their posts 
• Be you
• Don't get excited about your spelling, nobody is perfect.
• If something offends you, move on and no need to reply. (Many others should follow this process at times)
• If you ask a question that's been asked before, so what. This is a big site

Bottom line is there are a lot of great people here on this site, we have many things in common and we are also widely different. Enjoy exploring the various boards, as there is something here for everyone. For many this is a private thing that they do and explore in the confines of their home. For others it's everyday life and in public. Yes, overall it should be a safe space for you to see what like minded individuals do and share thoughts and ideas of what works. We all don't agree on everything and about what we consider normal or not. But that's the joy of Daily Diapers, different perspectives on all aspects of diapers and how everyone chooses to process this for themselves. It's like watching TV sometimes, if you don't like what you see. Change the channel, go to something different. 

I hope that you give this great community of people a try and see how it works. The best to you.

 

Three Rivers.