Do you ever test yourself to check your progress (regress)?

[Enthusi]

Every now and then I will purposefully not diaper up just to see how bad my bladder control is.  During these tests I make every effort to hold it in and stop what I’m doing to go potty if I feel any urge to pee. 

I originally did this out of fear that I was “faking” my incontinence. I concluded the only way to know for sure  is by going without a diaper to see if I could make it.  

Ironically, the more I tested myself, the more uncertain and neurotic I became.  I failed to make it to the toilet nearly each and every time.  But because I knew I secretly wanted to fail, I determined the testing was inconclusive.  On the rare occasions i was successful in making it on time, I felt dysphoric.  My solution was to keep by putting myself in situations where accidents would lead to more consequences. For example wearing nice clothes, running errands, going on long drives without a diaper on.  I kept failing and dealing with cleanups and narrowing escaping embarrassment, but I still couldn’t rule out the possibility I wanted to fail. Eventually I came to my senses and I said enough is enough and stopped trying to prove I’m incontinent. 

I still like to test my progress from time to time. Though now it’s more for the feels than to prove that I NEED to wear diapers.  These days I take precautions like wearing junky clothes and sitting on a puppy pads.  I fail to make it to the potty 99% of the time.  I figure even if I make it every now and then,  I would still need to wear diapers at all times because I’ve never gone more than a few hours without an accident.  There’s just something about the idea of failing to stay dry despite your best efforts that is appealing to me. 

I would love to hear from others who’ve tried testing their incontinence if they’ve ever put themselves in precarious situations, or even test for the fun of it.  And if you have no desire to test your progress, tell me why that is!  

[Little Sherri]

I have not conducted any tests, other than going maybe 30 minutes at a medical imaging office with nothing on under my gown, because that was required for the situation (an ultrasound of the wedding tackle). However, I know how it would go if I, say, tried to run to the store without a diaper on. I'd be fine for a half hour or 45 minutes, as long as I kept my eye on the ball and didn't forget that I had to hold it. Then, I would start to get uncomfortable, and would reach a point where it would be really, really wise to go to the bathroom. If I pushed past that, I'd be dancing on the wing of an airplane with no parachute. Maybe it would take me 2 hours to fail, maybe 3, who knows, but, I know this: once I started leaking, I would not be able to stop, and the prospect of THAT happening, either in my car, or in public, is terrifying. 

Because I'm married and I want to stay that way, I also have not conducted any acid tests regarding my overnight capabilities. The reality is that if I decided to go to bed without a diaper on, there is about an 80% chance that I'd be fine on any given night - I sometimes wet while sleeping, but intermittently and unpredictably. Drinking definitely increases the chances of this happening, however. But I'd sleep like crap, because I wouldn't trust myself. And, interestingly, history has shown that my subconscious mind can be a prankster - when I've been travelling with buddies and sharing hotel rooms, for example, or, sleeping in friends' or relatives' guest bedrooms - IE, places where I would really prefer NOT to wet overnight, because even the best diapers are not foolproof, that is precisely when I'm MORE likely to wet. I went to the UK last year with some good friends, and we shared hotel rooms, and I'd have to check my archives to be sure, but I believe I might have sleep-wet 4 or 5 nights out of 8. Although I would also refer anyone reading this to my earlier comment about alcohol. There was alcohol. 

Anyway, I'm content to just wear diapers all the time and enjoy doing that, regardless of whether I could go for short periods of time without them. The fact that I've rearranged my life, my wardrobe, and arguably my marriage, to be able to wear diapers all the time suggests to me that my "need" for them is legitimate, be it physiological or psychological. But I understand that there are people here for whom actual physical incontinence is the end-game, and my hat is off to them - that's not an easy road. 

[stevewet]

I havent tried going without a nappy in years. I know the result would be a wet bed at night and wet pants during the day.

[Enthusi]

36 minutes ago, Little Sherri said:

But I'd sleep like crap, because I wouldn't trust myself.

Funny you say that.  All of my “testing” is during the daytime. I’ve tried testing at night but it’s a very unenjoyable experience.  I too sleep like junk when I’m not diapered for the same reason. Besides, even if I did manage to wake up with a full bladder, I’m too sluggish to get out of bed before I have an accident.  I guess I value a good night’s sleep more than incontinence. 

[DiapergirlWB]

I don't test.  I find the idea to be counter productive.  Kind of the  'The Game" if you think about it you lose (haha you lost) the idea is to not have it in your thoughts at all, to not be part of the decision making process.  Testing keeps it in your mind which no matter what if you are thinking about it there becomes a choice.

[Little Sherri]

16 minutes ago, DiapergirlWB said:

if you think about it you lose

Yup - it's like quantum uncertainty. Observing the particles changes the behaviour of the particles. Only after the fact can you know what the particles were up to. If cases of diapers arrive, and bags of them go to the curb on garbage day, then... somebody's wearing diapers!

[CodHero24]

I stopped wearing diapers when I got a new job, and noticed my underwear was soaked every day when I got home.

Shortly after that I went on a long car ride and had a wet spot on my pants and the car seat when I got home.

And another time I went on a long car ride with friends and had to pee really bad by the time we got there, but made it to the toilet, barely.

However, on the return trip home, I got out of the car and there was a wet spot on my pants and the car seat and I didn't even know I went!

So, I decided it was time just to be diapered from that point forward.

Whenever I leave my house or go to bed I'm padded, but sometimes on my days off I'll just wear my threaded armor and use the potty.

But as soon as I diaper up for the night I start wetting in small amounts very frequently.

 

[ppdude]

4 hours ago, stevewet said:

I havent tried going without a nappy in years. I know the result would be a wet bed at night and wet pants during the day.

Same here. Often don't flood but still have heavy leaks and short spurts  that make for a squishy, definitely wet diaper. No diaper = wet (whatever you have on).

 

[oznl]

After a couple of years 24/7, I DID “test” myself to prove bedwetting in my sleep by utilising the (rare) opportunity afforded by my beloved travelling to go to bed undiapered.   Partly this was curiosity and partly because I NEEDED to know.  I did not wish to make a poor decision if and when dealing with emergency travel/nights away.

Early experiments took TWO nights to prove the affirmative case.  The first night was invariably miserable and sleepless.  The SECOND night, I went to bed exhausted and woke up wet.  Another opportunity a year or so later returned an identical result: one crappy night due to wakefulness and toilet breaks, a subsequent crappy night due to cold wet sheets at 3am.

A few months back I started a kind of weekly “pulse check” on my bedwetting by contriving to go to bed in a dry diaper.  This is because it is by now totally unclear to me what-happened-when overnight.  Paradoxically, this seemed to drive my bedwetting backwards.  I’m sampling LESS bedwetting events (although they are still there) than when I started.

I suspect I need to STOP doing this.  Bedwetting (in its early phases) seems to prefer quantum indeterminacy.   Attempts to measure it seem to alter the outcome.  Any “plan” to bed wet seems to backfire.

For day wetting, I haven’t been tested in several months but last time (a medical appointment last October), it worked ok for about 2 hours but I didn’t enjoy it and was mindful at all times about NOT wetting my pants.

It might be interesting to see what happened when that mindfulness wore off but on the other hand, discovering perfectly usable continence lay beneath would just be disappointing.

I think that’s the problem here: I’m expecting disappointment.  I’ve no doubt that diminished range, urgency, and an inability to inhibit a pee once it has started would greatly elevate the risk of accidents but to find that after well over 4 years of avoiding bladder control hadn’t shifted a needle that much would be quite depressing.

Perhaps that’s “fear of failure”…

[Hannah YMS]

On 5/17/2023 at 9:54 AM, Little Sherri said:

Anyway, I'm content to just wear diapers all the time and enjoy doing that, regardless of whether I could go for short periods of time without them. The fact that I've rearranged my life, my wardrobe, and arguably my marriage, to be able to wear diapers all the time suggests to me that my "need" for them is legitimate, be it physiological or psychological. But I understand that there are people here for whom actual physical incontinence is the end-game, and my hat is off to them - that's not an easy road. 

Excellent perspective.

On 5/17/2023 at 10:33 AM, DiapergirlWB said:

I don't test.  I find the idea to be counter productive.  Kind of the  'The Game" if you think about it you lose (haha you lost) the idea is to not have it in your thoughts at all, to not be part of the decision making process.  Testing keeps it in your mind which no matter what if you are thinking about it there becomes a choice.

What's your secret?

 

[DiapergirlWB]

12 hours ago, jonbearab said:

Excellent perspective.

What's your secret?

 

It's not really a secret but a mindset?  I have had to deal with some conditions that have had pretty much constant effects and have learned to put them to the back of my mind.  So that helps.  Also you have to manage what you are looking to achieve.  If you are looking for loss of control and not knowing when you wet the actual act of wetting has to become background.  Taking great pleasure and focusing on the way the wetting feels the warmth the wetness spreading is going to prevent this it will keep it in the front of your mind you have to let that go in order attain the lack of not really control but of having it become subconcious and automatic.

[diaperdl]

On 5/17/2023 at 1:33 PM, DiapergirlWB said:

I don't test.  I find the idea to be counter productive. 

I couldn't agree more.